#(so that others didnt get jealous)
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swiftie gift exchange for @catastrxblues
#yeah if anyone saw this before no they didnt i deleted the og post by mistake#anyway nadine!!!! hi omg it was such a pleasure to talk to you to get to know you and talk with you#when you told me that you're current favourite songs were champagne problems and lacy ik i had to make a parallel for them#unlucky for you that means gifs (i am the worst at them so apoligies for the quality ad everything in between)#in my mind i also viewed lacy as the other girl the champagne problems boy married and lacy being a part of the evergreen friends group saw#champagne girl as an insecurity she might have gotten the ring but she could never beat the first love and option#while the champagne girl would be happy but deeply jealous of lacy and that's on GIRLHOOD#you didnt ask for the story and i am rambling sorry but yeah that was the vision for the edit anyways i hope you have great day ahead :) <3#taylor swift#olivia rodrigo#lacy#champagne problems#SwiftieGiftExchange2024#tsuservio#tsusermels#tsusermeggie#tusertaylor#usersar#userelena#userjake#tsuserjen#userbymine#tsuserclaire#cascadeoceanwave#userelyn
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i love being friends with girls and then they get a boyfriend and then he becomes the center of her entire existence and all she talks about and all she focuses on and i sit there and i smile and i nod and i feel myself becoming genuinely evil
#shut up about your fucking boyfriend I DONT CARE#<< i never say that bc im not a horrible person but good god idk if im built for this#im crazy and im always a little bit in love with every girl i know its just how im built#like i guess its bc whenever ive dated someone i keep that shit to myself#like you have to torture me for me to admit anythings happening so when other people make it their whole personality#and totally abandon friendships bc OMG must focus 100% energy on some guy it just makes my eye twitch#and then when they wanna come crawling back omg he sucks he cheated i want your shoulder to cry on and im like well you didnt even text#me when my nana died last march so. cry on your own shoulder.#full admittance i am also a jealous person so theres a bit of crazy jealous jessie at play Always. I'm nothing if not honest#sorry kpoppers you get my insnae ramblings this friday night#i'll make up for it i'll post like bang chan ass shots or something tommorrow dont worry
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weekly breakdown post 😁 none of you hate me right !
#feeling a bit down ☹️ idk i just feel like#am i not social enough am i just annoying ☹️ i dont post a lot so idk what people follow me for but if i post too much am i being annoying ?#oueagh#vee rambles#like i know everyone has their own niches whatever but i don't know how you just establish connections with people so easily 💔💔#am i brushjng people off without knowing ???? am i just prickly??????#also as a conversationalist i know i dont have much to offer ☹️☹️ im not very funny or capable of very clever adult insights#so really im just kinda there 😞 and like i HAVE real life friends i HAVE a social circle theres no need to base my fulfilment socially on#online interactions 😭#idk maybe its because its harder or its something i feel i cant get that makes it such like a thing that bothers me#like 7 times out of 10 if im sadposting because of that#and its really embarrassing to say that the reason all these like moments of insecurity happen is because my mutuals. have friends#NOTHING AGAINST ANYONE OBVS THIS IS 100% A ME PROBLEM AND NOT EVERY INTERACTION SENDS ME INTO A TAILSPIN ITS JUST SOMETHING THAT HAPPENS#i thjnk it says something about me idk i dont like to think of myself as very jealous but i am i just dont like dwelling on it#trying to figure out if what makes me upset is other people not liking me or my own personal inadequacies#anyways if anyones reading this pretend they didnt i will be over this tomorrow i just#ugh 🥹🥹🥹#i wish i could wake up funnier#or smarter#maybe better at art#🙏 god bless#IVE FIGURED IT OUT#being in such a tight knit fandom reminds me of being in 8th grade again 🥹 not to tragic backstory everyone but like i had no friends#i think it kind of dredges up that kinda loneliness and insecurity in me#wow i should be a psychologist#anyways i still love fandom im not gonna stop it just. sigh. gets to me sometimes
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just some infamous thots but...
I love that we get language in the story that The Band hasn't really talked about "BreakupGate" or even The Vote in the three years since it happened. That they're happy enough to sweep it under the rug, tiptoe around it, or avoid seriously talking about it completely with MC.
I also love that there's a little bit of guilt there through what we hear about Iris at the Overkill (potentially) and Devyn outright during rehearsal (the "sorry" coming from nowhere right?). I imagine that MC at least has seen more comments along Rowan's lines (like just be glad you weren't there for BreakupGate toward August) than anyone trying to actually face what happened.
With Camy, I think the band's lack of willingness to address it is excused by Camy's behavior. She's never given them any real cause to assume she's not fully over it even though it is still a very sensitive topic to her. I think the break up and Seven leaving hurt, and she had a "mourning period" but only as to what was acceptable before she felt her feelings were a burden and dragging the band down. She had to step up, she had to chew through and spit out her feelings for the sake of the band's survival.
She had to continue living the life she and Seven lived without Seven and somehow do it better. The BOTB blurb confirms that she achieved this, she succeeded.
But I love thinking about: at what cost?
And tl;dr it's her personal life, her personal feelings on the issue, her love life, etc. I do not think she gave herself enough time to even think on the matter and to that point I do not think that she trusts her friends with those feelings since they've turned into her responsibility and they've been unwilling to really engage with her meaningfully. Are they concerned? Of course. Are they going to act on it? Doesn't look like it.
It seems like everyone was content to move past it, maybe breathe a sigh of relief when it appeared Camy got back on her feet, and move on without much thought to her outside of equating her assuming responsibility as her being over it all.
Which, to me, is why the Night scene with Seven on the bus is so interesting.
She tells him point blank that she hasn't gotten over him, over them.
I think that's one of the first time she's told anyone she still has lingering feelings on the break up, on The Vote. And it's to Seven. Yes, her rival, yes, who hates her, but yes, it's to someone she's no longer responsible for, someone she no longer has to support and be the leader for. Yes, she has to be strong and guarded in front of Seven, but no, not for the same reasons. Despite how much it hurt to admit and then to be rejected, I think there's some twisted relief in being able to tell someone about it, finally, and know she was going to get an honest response.
I don't think she regretted it either ... :)
At least, until Soft Violence's latest song and performance ... :)
#infamous if#D plays infamous#OC: Camy Rose#love the song telling millions of people a better response to that ''you should have chose the other band'' is#''I hate you even more now that I've been dealing with you''#and then top it off with a performance that he KNOWS will now hurt her and maybe make her jealous on top of it#this is why we don't get caught slipping camy!!!! maybe your mom was right!!!!#part 2 spoilers#no she didnt say that like shes still in love with him#but the complete disregard for the affection she confessed to in the way he did it is BRUTAL and i love it#its all so dramatic LOL goddamn#otp: we could make a good thing bad
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Just experienced the gayest as fuck experience at school. like living the dream type shit, and ironically it was not gay at the same time?
Apparently, according to my classmates, my hair is ridiculously soft. And I've actually been rewarded with headpats due to this, in which, as a touch starved gayass catboy? Absolute win.
Then I come over and quite literally draw boobs with my friends, in which one of them is one of the cutest girls in class (unanimous opinion btw) and I also find her very adorable and pretty, aesthetic attraction type beat <33
She then discovers the magic that is my hair, and then begins to hyperfixate on it and pet it endlessly. Like full on unlimited headpats!!! Just full on caressing my hair and it went on for about an HOUR and like??? holy moly?
Honestly the gay dream, and the craziest part is it wasn't even inherently romantic to me?? But anyways I just folded like a leaf, eyes dilated like a cat, and laid there pretending to have fallen asleep to the headpats and SHE DIDNT STOP!!! living the DREAM <3
#rennikorambles#well now i say that my hair is a masterpiece#i get headpats for FREE#i got some from another classmate too beforhand like just out of the blue#and of course i dont object cuz. well. free headpats#it was just such a perfect gay moment which was ironically NOT gay and it was ridiculous#also my other classmate who was (playfully like as a bit) Cute Girl's ''girlfriend'' was playing so jealous about it GFDJSAHFDSASHJ#I HEARD THE WHOLE THING AS I WAS ''SLEEPING''#SCREAMINF LMAO#i deserve every headpat in the world#this was not gay. BUT there IS an Actual Gay Moment that i want to illustrate#it happened a while ago and its very minor but it stuck in my brain AND THE OTHER PERSON DIDNT EVEN DO ANYTHING#I WAS JUST 👁️👁️
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and if u are still going… top 5 champagne martian pics too
I am always up for champagne pics! They are my favorite genre of F1 picture!! The vibe is certainly something
1. Australia 2016 of course :)
2. China 2009(yeah I like it a lot okay)
3. Brazil 2011
4. Spain 2010
5. Germany 2009
#so he likes getting sprayed in the mouth huh *gets shot*#sebson was much easier tbh bcs they just ignore everyone else on the podium#i feel like martian are often salty abt each other on the podium shdjkfk#though they do hold hands a lot!#but like i said w the other one its kinda funny that for basically all of the iconic champagne pics#seb mark and jenson are usually there#the champagne trio <3#i like that we still got champagne pics of them even after mark retired#also lowkey kinda hilarious that mark is p1 in most of these#i kinda feel like mark got a bit jealous when seb would win and didnt spray him 🫢#anyways i think most of my champagne pics are sebson haha for good reason#catie.asks.#martian#sebmark
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the only way id get jealous of his exes is if they had better music taste than me
#kidding but also no#LOLLL#omg he asked me this a while back he asked what qualities in other ppl the person im dating have been with wld i get jealous of#its hard cuz my ex didnt have any exes i had no one to b jealous of lol first gf vibes#but yeah i told guy im with that idk nd he joked abt the music taste thing lmfao so true tbh#i have wayyy better taste than his recent ex is the only comparison ill make#i dont rly feel jealous atm w guy im seeing idk were too new or im just not as bothered anymore#like i get nosy n curious so its why i was curious abt what his ex is like nd found her insta but yeah other than that#Idk#but he has been in five relationships i think or somethin idk if im 5th or am i 6th? lol
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everyone say thank u to my roommate for going to visit her parents this weekend so I can jack it loud and nasty 🙏
#i love her but there are some benefits to having the flat to myself.... love getting to wander around in just my boxers + a tshirt too#things i could do while she was still here if i wasnt a pussy 🙄#jk itd just make her uncomfortable and im too respectful for that#having a lowkey crush on her is an endless comedy to me bc we would be so woefully incompatible romantically#and also sexually.. historically ive only ever stone topped bc ive never been comfortable enough w anyone to let them fuck me#despite very much Not being stone or exclusively a top. and i think shes some form of sex repulsed anyway so like. sits there dead silence#and also shes so in love with her other friends and i showed up late to that party.... ive been feeling kinda guilty lately bc ik-#she misses them a lot and wishes we'd be able to stay roommates w them too. and im a pretty poor replacement for them tbh#and i love spending time with her but whenever i do i feel kinda painfully aware im not them like i could never fill that space#and asking to hang out more with her always feels like im taking away from time she could be talking to them. or even being alone ik she-#likes her own company and i get that a lot too so its chill but ahh.. man#i dont mean this in a bitter or jealous way at all like theyre all such sweet ppl i couldnt ever hold it against them#theyre kind of a 3 headed cerberus type situation and im like. the stray puppy they found on the side of the road#theres nothing they can do differently i was just born to be alienated from other ppl forever until i die. and someday i hope ill-#finally get used to it and accept i wont ever feel like im enough for anyone else or feel like anything else is enough for me#old wounds healed over 5082 times that still hurt to touch but i cant help pressing my fingers into them anyway bc its a familiar pain etc#anyway lost where i was going with this its just been on my mind again recently. i hate to be pitied i hate to feel like im only included-#bc they didnt want me to feel left out i hate feeling like a shoddy secondhand stand-in and its been a lot of that lately#also been a little annoyed bc sometimes it feels like shes trying to micromanage my social life and girl. we're not close enough for that#im sure its well intentioned but im not part of what they have going on i cant compete in that ring so dont try to push me into it..#ahhh. its all ok tho one of the guys is coming to visit next month which will be rly fun but ill try to give them some space too#its good at least im doing this processing now bc group situations can be spike traps of triggers for me sometimes#regardless of how good friends i am w ppl and ive already had a wobble a few weeks ago w how i cope and i dont want it to become a#fully fledged regular issue again bc its so hard to crawl back out of that pit. anyway losing coherence here im gonna stop rambling#and go make myself an early dinner and then back to drawing........#sorry for long tags if ur reading this blows u a kiss but go find a better use of ur time girl!!#.diaries
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Personally choosing to hc that the random-ass springlock suit in Sister Location that somehow sucks even more ass than Fredbear and SpringBonnie was bc William tried to build basically SpringBonnie 2.0 in his own way (which includes making a completely different, more complex, and more dangerous springlock system just to be different from henry) bc he didnt wanna give up the theatrics of his silly yellow rabbit. It then proceeded to bite him in the ass and also in the Everywhere Else
#i gotta start adding springlock scars to my william design. one day#unfortunately idk if the other graphic novel artist whom i constantly forget the name of has a drawing that features the springlock scars#bc yknow. peepaw gets springlocked and becomes a shrivelled up robe wearing faggy undead guy#so the only other option for full accuracy would be looking at pinkypill’s art and. yeah no thanks#i could just go find one of the many panel redraws. we’ll see#anyways i got off topic. this feels like a very william thing to do imo#especially because i? dont think he’d even be able to haul either of the springlock suits over to CBPW without getting noticed-#-and questioned? like at the very least someone would easily notice a suit missing#and also this all lets me ignore the whole ‘Glitchtrap looks different from SpringBonnie because thats Mimics poor interpretation of it!’#-thing. instead i can tell myself that. no. william (mr jealous man) didnt wanna use henry’s design. he wanted unique-ness and originality#ANYWAYS the tag ramble got really long oopsies#scov.txt#fnaf
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npd is so funny because for some time I was like well noooo I dont manipulate people! I dont fit the "Interpersonally exploitive, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his/her own ends" criteria!
and then I will think a little bit on my life from new lenses and go oh wait. I do this ALLLLL the time I just didnt register it!
#Its like with other stuff too Me? jealous? angry? Hah! Never! *proceeds to get jealous or angry* huh what was that. well it didnt happen :3#npd#my picture of a perfect person is someone who doesnt get jealous or angry or manipulates people so I dont believe I do this stuff#and then I do it anyway; just making up some explanation that 'cleans' me in my eyes
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*screaming crying throwing up*
I'm not a failure, I'm disabled and being disabled makes things hard for me. im allowed to give myself grace for being disabled
😩😩😩😩😩
#i fucking hate it#the other day my mom was like “i dont get why you blame yourself for your brain injury. i blame the driver who hit me and forgive myself”#IDK MOM MAYBE BECAUSE YOU DIDNT TELL ME I HAD A FUCKING BRAIN INJURY UNTIL I WAS 24 ???!!!!#and my dad the other day said he was jealous that i didnt struggle in highschool 🙂#ok so you dont know your daughter#we low key fought and he was like “you never failed your classes”#oh right sorry i forgot not failing means i wasnt struggling#this is like telling an overweight person they dont have an eating disorder#politely. go fuck yourself#UHG ANYWAY#having a bit of a pity party#no one else has simpathy for me so someone's gotta do it#ive actually been struggling with this a lot recently#i beat myself up constantly#i need to find affordable therapy
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damn...crazy how i keep falling into this pattern of irl friends who don't give a shit about me
#tell me why i had sushi with my close friend but i felt so alone#she talked abt her life & i was engaged#but when i tried to talk abt mine it was just. zero interest from her end#'oh the sushi is here' when im mid-sentence#and then focus on the food by talking abt it#or i'd trail off and she wouldn't even notice or pick the conversation up#my mom pointed out she's an energy vampire & i didnt want to believe her but...sure feels like that now#'wanna go to the comedy club? or our coffeeshop?' 'no...i want sushi.'#which is fine!!!! except its become a habit where i will vocalize what i want to do & then she doesn't want to do any of it#like holy shit she invited me to a new bar in town so i went & she got jealous i fit in/enjoyed it#so she made us leave lmao#idk it's getting radioactive in here. i'd rather be alone alone at this point#she and my other buddy are the only people i hang out with irl#tried talking to her abt a book im reading or the novel im planning and she didnt even respond#we sat in silence for a while
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me and my sister went to the mall today and we ran into hot topic so fucking fast it was unbelievable. me and my sister are literal opposites when it comes to fashion. she picked pink, pastel shit like she was trying to be all uwu kawaii meanwhile im just standing here with my arms full of emo and goth shit, i legit felt like daigo and masato with all this emo drip i had walked out with. (p.s. they should put yakuza stuff in hot topic if they havent already because i have yet to have any yakuza related things in my room </3 also hot topic is like the only store i will shop at)
im so sorry to say these words to you but reading this reminded me of my immortal
#snap chats#I ALSO HAVE NO ROOM TO TALK THOUGH CAUSE I LITERALLY JUST GOT BACK FROM HOT TOPIC AND SPENCERSLKEAKVJA#rubbing off my fucking eyeliner as we speak im no better than a goffick and im sure the stuff you got was actually real fire and im jealous#i actually wore my hakuho pin out today- i pinned it on my back jean jacket. not to flex on you or anything 🥴#i remember the day my college friend said something about me being goth and i looked like a dumbass saying 'im not goth...'#when all i ever did was wear black. and tbf i toned it down a LOT while i was at school. i wanted to be normal-passing 😭😭#that aside i only went in to get jewelry and a new belt chain. also a kirby keychain and nail polish#but like it was that Blackheart brand so you know i just wanted it for the skull container and the name. also i was running out#my hot topic really doesnt have any clothes- or at least clothes i fuck with like its mostly skirts and puffy-sleeved shirts#and yeah those are epic and awesome but they're not my style yk. love it on other people just not on me#i usually get my clothes from like. express or skate shops. very different fashions as you can see LMAOOO#like today i got this really pretty crane shirt and then like. i got a black-and-white striped long sleeve with a skeleton hand patch LMAO#UGH im pissed i didnt get the red and black variant too but i didnt think bout it til i already left#i want to get new boots- the ones i have now are great and i love them but i want something chunkier#my 'goth' fashion is really lowkey honestly like i hardly consider myself goth cause of it- its very casual ig#ignore the fuck-you amount of rings i wear ok. theyre pretty..... also they have certain meanings sometimes#like i wear an owl ring cause it reminds me of my sis since she loved owls growing up and went to a uni with an owl mascot#i wear a dragon ring sometimes cause dragons remind me of my dad. for whatever reason.#idk its cause he tried to convince me i was born year of the dragon when i wasnt ?? idk funny guy lmao#and then i already said i wore snake stuff and crosses cause I Hate My Mom. also i was born a snake#also my dads a christian so :] i will wear two cross rings and a cross necklace tyvm love you pops i wish you were around more#uhhh did i want to say anything else. idk im just dumping about my emo bullshit thanks for reading ☠️☠️#if this wasnt my yakuza blog id actually just show the haul i got today BUT i will spare you lot from my emo bullshit#ok ill kill the tags here now im SILLY
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the desire im capable of feeling for a person is insane like i rlly cannot see any other way my life could go that i'd be happy w unless im by their side in their arms :((
#genuinely idgi. w my other crushes i daydreamed but i didnt wanna get close to them rlly. this is more than a crush how does it work#r u supposed to go crazy or am i a freak#i mean like.. idk!!!!! idk anything im so confused!!!!!!#all i know is that when i wake up their my first thought. when i do anything during the day i wish i was w them doing those things#when i go to bed i think of them#every thought i have i wanna share w them. it feels good nd nice to share everything w them#it's exciting to talk abt my boring fkn day. it's exciting to listen to details of their borinf day#like thats music to my ears. everything. i want. when i think of watching a show i want to know what they think of it#when i come across a movie my 1st thought it hmm wonder if theyve seen it#when i come across various ideologies nd stuff im like hmmm i wanna discuss this w them#it's all them them them them!#im jealous of the air they breathe the ground the walk on. those things get to be so close nd im so far away#i dont know#cant.. imagine. i mean maybe to other ppl#being in love and loving someone is .. idk. i've never experienced it before so idk anythinf#im just... so.. dizzy#i cant focus on school even if im like yeah wow im gnna go homeless if i dont do my homework lmao#i cant read my books or watch shows bc i keep pausing nd being like ok but what if WE were in this position#well. maybe. im ??? is this what love is? or am i too intense? should u be able to function anyway? idgi
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I am not a soulmates person. but the angst of Komi and Gale having each other names written on one another since Komi's birth kills me
#elyan bleats#Komi was born later then he. due to being Mystra's chosen and general wizardy Gale ages slower. so I hc him to be in his fifties. Komi is 2#Gale is in the middle of a coupling with Mystra when the strange name appears. Mystra is a jealous woman- why would his soul chose a mortal#anyways. it's on his wrist. he keeps it from her- but in secret he is in fact eager for this#Komi has a name on their breastbone. They hate having an other half. their parents didnt have soulmates and they work better then most#so they also hate fate for genuine lore reasons that I can talk about later#NO ONE KNOWS KOMIS NAME POST NAUTALOID#But when Gale introduces himself#his hand lands on their breastbone and they can see where their own name was written#they almost get sick. so fucking scared of this. another wizard to take advantage#GALE FALLS FOR THEM WITHOUT KNOWING THEY ARE HIS SOULMATE AND IT WORKS OUT. NOT BC SOULMATES BUT JUS COMPATABLE#anyways. more reasons for Komi to hate him. we stay winning#thank SOrren for enabling me#Scaleweave
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holy hell i love your art 😭 HOW ARE YOU SO TALENTED omfg
(if not too much to ask: got any art tips IM SORRY I GOTTA KNOW. i gotta know what you do to make your art look like it was made by gods)
*nervous sweating*
#LONG LONG LONG TAGS BELOW BE CAREFUL BECAUSE I GOT EMOTIONAL#OH MY GOD HOW COME I DIDNT SEE THIS EARLIER#dsaudhuisadh tysm anon!!!T_TT waaah this means a lot#for any art tips...well since me myself is totally an amateur so I cant really give out any cool useful advice#but one thing that came to me earlier this year that is kinda important#is to absolutely. draw for yourself. do whatever makes you happy. trust me just try to snatch back that vibe you have in your cringest year#if you like oc x canon do it!!!oh you like this cringy little character ??draw them one million times!!!#I think after I kinda made some progress after I realized this. It's still ok to care about numbers and get sad or jealous or anything.#I understand that. but try whatever makes you happy..!!#just so you know I basically started learning anatomy(or adults etc)from end of last year. I was always a cartoon/chibi artist before that#Ive always wanted to draw adults/muscle/anything other than chibis but i was so afraid that ppl will laugh at me if I did it too terrible#then I realized...who cares..!! I'll do it anyway because that's what ive been!!thinking of for so long!!it will makes me happy idc!!#and here we are ^_^^ yayyyyy!!!still bad at it but you see at least i have the courage to post my works!!#sorry for saying so much I just hope ppl who had the same troubles like I do to be happu T_TT draw for yourself#dont stress yourself out!!
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