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#(so no they didn’t hurt each other here)
ilostyou · 1 year
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taylor x 5sos parallels - part 6/?
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last post for the night i swear
the real tragic part about the whole science fair incident is that perpetual motion is impossible to achieve
ford’s machine would have never worked, regardless of whether or not stan had interacted with it
(warning i accidentally wrote an approximately 30-tag dive into ford’s character in the tags don’t click see more if you don’t want to read that)
anyway!! good night everyone ❤️‍🩹
#it’s also tragic because ford didn’t know#the impossibility of perpetual motion was discovered far before that point and yet he didn’t know#i mean. ‘he’s actually just so arrogant that he thought he could break the laws of physics’ doesn’t make any sense#his reaction to the situation really didn’t match that interpretation as far as i can tell#i don’t think it’s just a ‘oh no! my dream school (that i was essentially shoved into pursuing)!’ type deal#here’s what i’m thinking:#fact one- stan and ford were seemingly already drifting apart by this point in time. this is important to note#fact two- it’s really emphasized to him that he’s smart. that’s all they say about him really- that’s he’s a genius#fact three- filbrick does not even care enough about stanford to say his name. he calls ford his ‘ticket out of this dump’#these last two points were likely heavily emphasized to him throughout his childhood#filbrick found out ford was smart and thought stan wasn’t. so ford became his plan to make money#ford is heavily bullied for his weirdness. his hands and his interests. being smart could ‘make up’ for this in his mind#he wants to leave. he outright states this- he doesn’t feel like he belongs and he wants to go somewhere he does (his own bermuda triangle)#so what essentially happened- i believe- is that ford internalized all these things#that his weirdness is bad and that he makes up for it by being smart and that he’s meant to make his family money-#-and that he wants out#his machine fails. this is a slap in the face to him. perpetual motion is impossible?#but why didn’t he know that? he’s supposed to be smart isn’t he? if he isn’t smart then what the hell is he?#what redeeming qualities does he have? how is he supposed to help his family now? he’s a failure isn’t he?#he spots a familiar bag. stan was here. suddenly he has an excuse- a reason to believe it wasn’t his fault#(and there’s really nothing to be at fault for but he doesn’t think that)#it’s easier to blame it on stan because of how distant they’ve grown. he can’t read stan as easily#and his reaction is suspicious- did he actually sabotage the project? is it…actually not ford’s fault at all?#they don’t speak to each other again for another decade#stan because he’s afraid of rejection#ford because he doesn’t want to face his own insecurities and emotions about everything#it’s easier to pretend that he wants to be famous and isn’t just doing it to make it his father money#and it’s easier to distract himself with things he loves than to feel all the guilt and hurt and frustration#and that. is perfect for bill to use to manipulate him#that’s my thoughts anyway. sorry for the rant was not expecting that to happen
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foundfamilynonsense · 1 month
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Y’know the tv romance we never see anymore? Not the ‘will they won’t they’ but the ‘they were basically confirmed in the first five episodes but the show has been going on for six years now and the show runners think if they actually let them become a couple the show will peter out and die bc they have no other conflict ideas so the impossible tension gets stretched and stretched and they have three one night stands that are never mentioned again and confess their love twice but by the end of the show they only get together in the last episode and it’s really frustrating and disappointing for everyone involved’
I mean. Today I see canonically queer characters labeled as queerbaiting bc they don’t get together fast enough.
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toxictranny · 26 days
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when ppl use tone tags it’s amplified for me like what is /srs did u mean /Serious🗿
#online sm i make this emoji face irl.^^ it’s awful#i need buddies😡😡#i love the internet because it makes me aware of how beautiful things are#but also um it makes me sad because i’m going to die without friends#i CAN imagine if we never met the broskis):#gf was like (dating app that has a friends option)? BRAH!!! never ever#they’ll just wna fuck me and i’ll be sad#because i Like being affectionate witj my friends n intimacy but idk#the line between joking around kissin ur pal on the cheek and having sex with ur pal is so thin around here!#it scares me because what if i can’t find connection without sex#i have all the sex i need ok and i used to be overly sexual. it didn’t go well but it was the only time i had friends when i was willing to#be sexy with any of them at any time#theyd get hurt if you were like ‘oh tht was just a one time thing’ means i’m being monogamous and lame or whatever#one time it turned into i ‘used’ them likeejgjfjr WE MADE OUT AT A PARTY and after that they thought we were gonna make out whenever we saw#each other. at the time i had two partners and i wasn’t looking lol it was just a kiss!#but everyone got mad at me and said i used them for sex (we didn’t have sex) and also that i ~lead them on~#we were kissing for less than ten minutes too#grow the fuck up. honestly#also???? for the record i would LOVE to bone a friend here and there but i DON’T want ANY expectations for more#it’s just too much presh for me when ppl are like oh we’re in a relationship now! after we fuck#even fwb is a relationship.. situationship.. flirtationship. hook up. softting. like#there’s way too much for me i just want to get a lil jiggy with it couple times a yr. and watch my gf kiss girls thy would be so nice#anyway.. /Serious🗿#toxictranny
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rose-fall · 4 months
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True meeting
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spinetacks · 4 months
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zzz
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pepprs · 1 year
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beaver gnawing on wood noises
#purrs#delete later#this is gonna be a bad / hard post and i’ll have to delete it. like it feels like in making it im invoking cosmic forces to show me karma or#idk like being an ingrate or whatever. but sometimes i find myself on social media rabbitholes looking at instagram pages of.. women who#like really genuinely appear to be good moms to their kids. and love them for who they are and don’t try to make them anything different.#and who celebrate their quirks and stuff. and even share interests with them at the bare minimum. and it just makes me want to sob. like the#knot in my throat. i shouldn’t do it bc i just hurt myself but it’s like. im so lucky i have a mom and that she provides for me. and i know#there are valid reasons for that being all she can do. but also why can’t she… idk.why can’t she ummm love me. or celebrate me. or find#magic in me. or at the very least accept my humanness and be open to me like giving her feedback on stuff. even tonight at this panel this o#one woman was like yeah my two daughters call me on stuff and im like you’re right. if i called my mom on stuff (and i do) she would give me#the silent treatment (and she has) or eviscerate me (and she has). and people in my work life and on here call me endearing and say all#these things. but it’s like none of it can fill up the absolute aching pulsing void that is… my mom. my mom!!!!! is just a person i live#with anr resent most of the time. who has hurt me so badly. and i could have had a mom who like. let me sing and didn’t mock me for it.#and who came in and said goodnight to me and my sister instead of leaving us to o ur own devices because we’re twins and we had each other.#and 14 years ago today was the day that fully cemented in that she could not be that kind of mom and would never be. and i know she tried so#hard and i know she has been hurt and is still hurting. but i just want to scream. like everyone deserves a mom who loves them for who they#are and shit. and how fucking unfair is it that.. like it sounds so selfish and entitled. b it how fucking unfair is it that i got a mom who#im afraid of and then there are people like fucking… m*lissa err*co and sh*ron wh*atley (those are just the famous ones) who by all#appearances seem to be like.. not only loving but open. seeing their children as human and magic all at once. instead of a war prize and a#symbol of their own hardships or whatever. like it’s just so fucking unfair. i hate that this is the way things are for me and that it will#never change and that if it ever does i have to be the one to change it or i have to heal from it and let go of it. like FUCK that! i want#love from my mom! FUCK the fact that she can’t give it to me!!! she has to!!!!!! but she won’t. idk. delete post <3#like so genuinely i should not be even typing these words bc god is gonna smite me now lol. but my heart is howling#and the shitty thing is i don’t think i’ll be able to be that kind of mom if i ever become one bc of how badly all of this has hurt me. and#bc of all that i don’t even think i want to become a mom anymore bc i don’t want to be the reason a child feels this way or grows up to.
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amethysttribble · 1 year
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That I’ve already made 1 post being annoyed with the Spy x Family fandom and I could easy make 2 more, is really quite telling
#it’s just everything I hate so much in one fandom:#over abundance of fluff for the sake of fluff (gag) and uninformed attempted at political takes (also gag)#the first one would be-#1) oh my god I didn’t realize how aro I saw Loid and Yor’s relationship until the UwU fluffy ship people got involved#THEIR DEVELOPMENT IS NO WHERE NEAR THAT. IF IT EVER WILL BE#they RESPECT each other and work TOGETHER to create a nice family environment despite their nontypical family and they aren’t in ‘love’ yet#and you really want to strip that all away to go ‘uwu Loid is soooo in love with her as soon as chapter 10’ fuck off#2) (and this one’s the kicker) Are you really pondering the moral difference between the actions#of two people who#are use violent means in order to maintain geopolitical peace so that war doesn’t break out???#and the fucker who hijacked a bus of KINDERGARTNERS to make his political protest???#MAYBE THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HOW WE SEE THESE CHARACTERS IS THAT LOID AND YOR DONT KILL CHILDREN!!#you know whose daughter is also dead fuckwit? The Handler. YOU DONT SEE HER TRAUMATIZONG SIX YEAR OLDS#I mean are you even /thinking/ at point?#also#no actually Loid and Yor would not ‘destroy the city for Anya’#they flat out wouldn’t#Loid is a character who cares a LOT about the bigger picture here and specifically about /not making kids cry/#he would never hurt other children; even for Anya’s sake#never#but ESPECIALLY not out of revenge#and the city take is especially in bad taste considering his background#are we even like reading the same manga?#OR have your reality divorced stupid fluffy headcanons rotted your brain?#I know the answer#my god#anyway I hope the Silm friends got a good laugh out of ready my salt for another fandom#NOT tagging this shit#don't mind me#tribble post
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feretra · 7 months
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❝ we’re both people who have had to cut our own way through the world. ❞
“Yes, but we shouldn’t of had to—“
It’s a rare slip in a conversation guided by shared experience. When she is otherwise non-privy to details, Salome does not often let the mask slip about how her abuse and abandonment have made her kind. Taught her things about both herself and the world that that strive to make her better than what her parents or the indenturing keepers taught her about others. And these are not untrue statements, or at least not wholly so.
But so rarely does she get to speak plainly on the anger it breeds. The lingering fear that even two decades later, she’ll still be stolen away and stripped of her ability to consent, then sold as little more than silage to the highest bidder for her family’s relentless aspirations. Salome’s knuckles blanching from the force exerted upon the arms of the chair in which she sits before cursing in her mother tongue, crossing her legs, and directing her focus on just about anything else.
“Our families should have loved us. Spoon fed us t’dream that our ambitions were something fucking worthy. Instead, a stray dog on t’street could have expected more kindness.” A flourish of something — an idle gesture of a hand — all an attempt to distract from the growing anger in her voice. “They sold us. Their own blood. And worse still, they’ll imagine y’as a monster when they’re the ones t’have the nerve t’haunt your life when all you want is to be free.”
Salome breathes a sigh that feels like it cuts through her like a dagger, and she hates it. Fingers drawn to her temple as she attempts to make sense of her thoughts. “I’ve made my own way, yes, but I’m fucking tired.”
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theolddivorcedzukka · 2 years
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my powerpoint presentation on why “careless whisper” is about divorced zukka. slide 1 out of 64
#i have this very vivid scene in my head for the divorcedzukka au i haven’t written yet and it’s called izumi’s bday#it’s where things go awfully wrong for them once again (this is like their…fourteenth again of the day)#‘though it’s easy to pretend i know you’re not a fool’ im gonna kill myself they pretend that the thing they had for each other years ago is#dead and they can keep being like they were when they were just friends but they both want more and though they try to deny it and say it’s#all in their heads they know deep down that there’s still something here and they can’t ignore it but they also can’t pursue it. insane#okay that’s just one of the lyrics but i feel so much about it#the bridge is so them ‘i wish that we could lose this crowd. maybe it’s better this way we’d hurt each other with the things we want to say’#and that’s the thing one of the things that made them separate was the knowledge that the world was watching them they’re major figures now#so everyone has their eyes on them and they thought that they could do well with keeping it secret when they were younger but the world got#into their life the world got into their safe place until they couldn’t do with it anymore#and they’re lying to themselves ‘maybe it’s better this way’ no it isn’t!!! but they tried once years ago and it didn’t work out and its#like all roads are wrong but what can they do??? WHAT CAN THEY FUCKING DO?????#i’m gonna die#vee keep talking#divorced zukka
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sundead · 1 year
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Binged The Last of Us and wowie zowie am I unwell
#like I am physically sick#going from ‘you’re cargo’ to ‘it’s okay baby girl’ to ‘It wasn’t time that did it’ just ended me#i think i need therapy#nothing has ever reaffirmed my daddy issues the way this has#the blood the carnage the way joel just fucking decimated that hospital and carried ellie out of there#joel miller#ellie tlou#pedro pascal#bella ramsey#edit: I’m adding more tags cause I have more thoughts#bill and frank’s story didn’t have the emotional impact I thought it would but honestly made me so happy#I know they die but it wasn’t sad. they’d lived full lives together and went on their terms and to get to see that was I don’t even know#it didn’t hurt it made me cry the ‘old means we’re still here’ is what got me#these two would’ve grown up through the 80’s and they survived 20 years into the apocalypse and then got to die in each others arms#I don’t know how else to describe it but like#I don’t know#it made me cry#but because they lived and loved for so long#and then Henry and Sam#I think their story gets to me the most#that one hurts A Lot#they got so close#to getting out to moving on to escaping and I just#all Henry wanted was to save Sam and to look after him and give him a life#and they got so close#and then Henry freezes and then he shoots Sam to save Ellie#and that’s the first person he’s ever killed#and don’t get me started on Kathleen#I cant add enough tags to say all the things I want to say but aaaaah#anyways I’m gonna go listen to the opening theme ‘til I fall asleep lest I succumb to my feelings and pull an all nighter thinking about it
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lilgynt · 1 year
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yelled at my mom a little got some weed in my system and got spaghetti overall not bad
#personal#spaghetti double funny bc my mom made my bowl while i was like ur a fucker#i didn’t cuss at her except to say it doesn’t fuckin matter to her#but anyway i just chewed her out about being so mean this morning#her argument she wasn’t being means and im in a probationary period#my argument i literally couldn’t fucking walk#also also also. they have to give me at least three warnings before they can me#technically four in total since one isn’t even on paper just a hey dude#but also even before we got on the floor i’ve had coworkers call out leave mid day or 30 minutes in or whatever#sometimes in a row of days#they’re still here#and i’m not saying i WANT to call out during a probationary period but i couldn’t fucking walk#emergencies happen#anyway so we argued about that and i asked what would have happened if she was hurt and i heard her#she IMMEDIATELY said i’d take care of her#so i was like why can’t you do that for me. even when i had the flu it took like 3 days before you checked on me#sickest i’ve ever been and 3 days to even be liek you good#we didn’t get anywhere as far as understanding each others side but i did get to yell at her so i feel better ish#like there’s no feeling better about your mom genuinely not liking you and making you question if she loves you but like#close as you can get#i also ended it with telling her i hope she gets hurt and someone treats her just like she treated me#bc i know i’d care for her but i hope someone treats her like she did me and she gets it#and also blah blah crutches in a hoarder house hard#and she was like i did it too!! she did#and i yelled back like WELL WHOS MESS ARE WE WALKING THROUGH. NOT MINE.#some weed bro were 8 edibles deep i do not want to be alive
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jinjofitzo · 2 years
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so me, @toastacringe and @anxiety-problem​ made a buncha like.. animal goofy thingys. taking animals and making them human…ish.. and ja, it’s pretty simple and people do it a lot but like.. we made a whole zoo.. like cal made 2 other jellyfish alongside boxy (the one in the shades—a box jellyfish..) it was very fun!! i will provide more info in the tags.. but for now…
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spooooooookkyyyy leviiaathheennnn
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maldito-arbol · 2 years
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Admittedly have only read the Three Gems part one but :O
while the themes/heavy topics aren't for me I cannot deny how good the writing is. Great at captivating and setting the scene. Genuinely amazing. I drew something to show appreciation and I hope it's alright
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(also used your art as a reference hope it's ok/gen)
SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP I LOVE HIM SO MUCH HOLY SHIT THANK YOU
ALSO THAT IS THE WORST CHAPTER TO START ON ARE YOU OKAY
#ask mal#yes my fanfic is absolutely Not for everyone but also I PROMISE the entire thing is not like that. WHEEZE holy shit.#a Heart POV chapter without ANY of the previous context is bound to be truly horrifying I applaud you for getting through it#most of the rest of my fic is sashannarcy fluff and angst and there actually IS comfort to the hurt but but but NOT THE HEART CHAP#and of course I LOVE this chap—it’s one of my favorite things I’ve ever written—but also. it makes me want to throw up#i am legally obligated to apologize to everyone who has ever read it#i am so sorry here are some cookies 🍪 and milk 🥛#but yeah clearly my fic’s ancestor trio is a lot;; Different from canon#WJH Barrel my beloved… he’s evil but he’s also my skrunkly#in about a thousand years he’s gonna possess a child and take over the world#Andrias is Currently rotting in a cell good for him#and the fun fact is that Leif went to the human world with the box and never came back. she is also dead however#i enjoy canon’s portrayal of The Core as all the Leviathan ancestors sure but think about the DRAMA if it was your best friend/first love#and you’re both evil but you both want to destroy each other#Leif didn’t need this toxicity in her life that’s why she left#but ANYWAY thank you for trying my fic it makes me happy :)#i can’t believe you didn’t run away screaming when you saw all the TWs#i need to not ramble in the tags every post#CMTO#art for me#(also using my art as reference is totally fine I know my designs are diff from canon)#(plus the blue lighting is great for portraying how much influence Andrias still has over Barrel)
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actualtoad · 2 years
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today was such a day (negative, mostly)
#it’s my sisters birthday#she’s been really stressed because of my parents being so actively vehement at each other all week. she’s okay rn though#um#my friend teacher she/herred me like three four times while introducing me to somebody!!!!!!#and then???? my next hour teacher deadnamed me in front of the entire class because she doesn’t understand having multiple names in multiple#classes and yesterday she was bringing up how a different teacher had called me ari and i was like oh huh yeah okay i go by many names#like trying to be funny and vague about it but then today you know what she did? she called me ari-arthur-anya#she called me two school names and my FUCKING deadname because she doesn’t GET IT and im so FREAKING mad at her and she does NOT get a card#im so pissed im so mad at the two teachers that i thought were probably the most accepting teachers that i’ve ever KNOWN and now here they#BOTH of them on the same day one after another an hour apart!!!! im so pissed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#and i know that mr hidaka didn’t MEAN it he’s talked to me about gender and stuff like!!!! i know it’s not representative of all of him but#it just hurts really bad that people who i know and love who are SO important to my feeling even a little safe at school#it hurts really bad knowing that they don’t even think of me as myself. that mr h can just forget to use my pronouns makes me want to cry#im so tired of it being something that people have to remember to do. im so tired of this other everything being the default#i need a fucking beard or something i guess. give me some time please!!!! i want to be a teenage boy please!!!!!!!! im so tired!!!!#i had a good morning with mr hidaka mostly like. basically i skipped my first hour class i couldn’t do it today i didn’t want to be there#and i couldn’t do it. so i went to his room how i do. and i said can i stay here. and he said of course i could but i would get marked#absent from my first hour but as long as i was okay with that i could stay. and so i did and i was working on stuff. and then#another teacher showed up. and okay something you guys for sure don’t know about my friend teacher is that he’s a frisbee coach at my school#like he’s in charge of the ultimate frisbee team shdhdf. he’s really into it it’s not really a sport feeling thing but it seems like fun#so anyway the other teacher was like hey (hidaka first name) me and some guys from the team are gonna go throw some frisbees do you want to#and mr h was like. yeah sure!! and he gave me the option between i could stay if i wanted but i could come with too and i said i’d come with#but i cant do frisbee. so it turned out to be the kids from the team and the other coach were doing fancy stuff together and me and mr h#just played some catch and he showed me how to do it and it was really fun and nice and it was really good#so it sucked when then the other teacher was like. so who’s this lovely person anyway? (exact words he said)#and my friend teacher mr hidaka said oh she skipped her first hour so shes here with me#and that hurt my stupid feelings pretty bad!!!!!!! i didn’t say anything though#and then the rest of the day happened. and now im home#all i have left for the rest of the school year is just my chemistry final so im not doing homework tonight#im still making finishing his book into a high priority it’s higher than the project
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pepprs · 2 years
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also the favoritism thing is still making me so fucking mad and insane btw. im not jealous / resentful of my brother bc he deserves her love and is also burdened in his own ways by it and bc i think my drama w my mom has shaped my life in profound ways and given me friends i cherish and i would never trade any of that for the world but jesus fucking christ. why do i have to beg you to interact with me like a mother. why do i have to talk to me at all beyond asking me to do you 847439473 favors a day. why do i have to beg you to take an interest in my life and apologize when you hurt me and be nurturing and perceptive for once in your fucking life. like it hurts to hear her asking him about his classes and whatever bc she didn’t think i was stressed out w school but i had to talk to a ****** hotline last decemver when i couldn’t take it anymore and my mental health was crashing and burning and it doesn’t even fucking matter to her at all and she’s going to get him the nice gifts and throw him the nice parties and whatever because she hates me and my sister for… and let me get this straight… being complicated and anxious and depressed and also girls. lol!
#purrs#delete later#sorry i knowive been insane about momposting but this shit has me screeching like an ape. the way when my brother was born she decided me#and my sister would be okay with each other bc we were twins and meanwhile she was leaving my sister to have anxiety attacks and me to take#care of her and all of this happening at like 7 years old and she would come into my brothers room every single night and kiss him goodnight#and talk to him for a long time and she wouldn’t even come in and say goodnight to us. LOL. ok. like our room being a depression nest is not#an excuse. us not helping out much in the kitchen or around the house (which is bad but also we have reasons for it that i think are valid#and i only do it here and not elsewhere btw.) is not a good excuse. you can’t decide you love your one kid more because he helps out and#keeps his room clean and whatever. maybe he is normal because you made it very clear from the time that he was born that he was your top#priority and you gave him your attention and didn’t take it away meanwhile my sister and i have always had to share bc we’re twins and she#cast us aside when he was born and has fucking tormented both of us for years over who we like what we want where we go all of that shit and#then has the AUDACITY to call herself a good mother. being a good mother is more than feeding your kid and projecting your childhood trauma#onto them by preventing them from ever developing cancer to the point where they’re afraid fo like. go outside. you have to be patient and#nurturing and kind and like.. motherly. ans i know no one can be a perfect mother and she has been hurt so badly and she is dealing with a l#lot right now but COME ON. for gods SAKE. i am right fucking here. why don’t you care about me? why do you make it clearer every day?#ask to tag#like the way she would say when my sister and i were growing up and going through it that she wished she could book a hotel and live there f#far away from us and miss out on us growing up so she wouldn’t have to deal with us being anxious and hormonal because we were teenage girls#LOL. totally did not impact me at all. totally is not a wound that informs every breath i take and every thought i have. not at all#* like maybe he is normal because you uh… idk. just a guess here. actually gave him the motherlove people need to be functioning healthy#human beings? idk. just a silly thought. haha
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