#(obvs there are exceptions bc girls can be horrid too but like) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ihatebnha · 2 years

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I hate degradation tbh, but it’s so prevalent that it’s hard to get away from it :( And I get kind of suspicious when I find men (esp cishet white men) that really like degrading women specifically. Like why do you enjoy that so much Paul? Huh?

NO BUT fr. fr. fr. fr. fr. fr. fr. fr. fr. slams reblob. fr. fr. fr.

there's literally so much to say on the subject that i barely even want to get started (or know how to address it all properly), but like...

as well as i can just ignore it on here, it's so concerning to think about how... decontextualized snippets of intense smut can promote the abuse of inexperienced women... simply because while women's/non-cis/poc interest in kink often coincides with experience and exploration... cishet male interest can stem from unrealistic porn that promotes the idea that dominance is equivalent to violence.

which isn't to say sex can't be good or safe (and that porn isn’t damaging to everyone, in a way)... or that u shouldn't like degradation, but it just makes so much more scary to find a good partner who has an understanding of treating you well otherwise.

and i actually think about it ALL the time because... i'm kinda one of those people who like, doesn't consider watching porn cheating... but also i'm bonking myself on the head because... THAT DOESN'T MEAN IT'S NOT BAD!!!

and i mostly just bring this up because (i was literally ALWAYS debating about this w/ my ex)... it's so different when an oppressed group partakes in sexual endeavors (including porn) vs. when a man does... and that's not something i think gets talked about enough, the difference in reasons for AND responses to consumption.

but it makes my blood BOIL. that vulnerability in sex has been so.... dissociated from reality, safety... purpose. etc. to the point where... i can hard stand degradation even when i know that people genuinely enjoy it.

and this is only one facet of it all, so i could go on. but anyway.

reminds me of something i saw that was like.............. "the person who's most likely going to treat you with proper bdsm etiquette isn't the hunky, aloof guy, it's the nerdy one who runs a d&d club."

That shit made me slap my knee.

#PAUL ASJDHFASLJKD N #anon ur brain is so big sorry i got carried away #if i mentioned everything i wanted to... we'd be here all night #BUT... like.#girl (esp non cis non white ones) are a very.......... .... vulnerable group #whether or not u think u are personally #and i think communities like this one... to put it lightly... promost unrealistic experiences #promote*#which is good in some ways bc i like to think im helping to raise the bar... but also create narratives where it seems easy to exist #a lot of us are here because we've been beaten down by life #and that is something that can be exploited #esp if you're into darker things #so blah blah blah JUST BE CAREFUL WHO U TRUST WITH URSELF #just because u like a heavy k*nk doesn't mean its okay coming from some people #and u know the rest but like. yeesh #boys watch corn cuz they've trained themselves to like violent smex #and girls watch corn cuz we're coping with that #(obvs there are exceptions bc girls can be horrid too but like)#u capitalize off pain while we try to survive under it #ask #anon #caitie chats #sx talk #tw:degradation.

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