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pants-magic-pants · 3 years

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The continued tale of Perploop and Minervaling and his Grace’s diary...

Late that very night, Minervaling couldn’t take it anymore, and they awoke with an absurd craving. A craving which, though they painted it as fleeting, had been haunting them for ages: to know the deepest, most profound, most personal thoughts of the kingdom’s... well, king. His Grace, his Glory, his Glamor. His Gregoriously Anti-socialness. One who lived in this kingdom knew exactly what that meant.

Minervaling’s face was tingling just knowing how imminently this craving would finally be satisfied.

Through the rain, through the thunder, Perploop slept like a baby. A babe, you might say. With the power of... sleeping through just about anything. He was remarkably easy-going and hard to frighten. Did not even seem to be aware of how small he was. Still, he had a powerful snore. The snore of a goblin thrice his size.

That was how Minervaling found him, in the dark room packed with goblin bunk-hammocks in the cellar of the castle. They climbed the ladder and gave him a good poke.

When it did nothing, they poked again.

A thwack of the arm came next.

When that didn’t work, they thought a gentle shake should do it.

Alas, it was not until Minervaling was violently rattling Perploop that he cracked his eyes open and realized he was being assaulted by what appeared to him as a fuzzy shadow creature.

“AHHHHHHHHH---!”

Mid-scream, Minervaling placed their hand over Perploop’s mouth.

“Sh, it’s me,” they whispered. Then they took their hand away so Perploop could answer.

“’Me’ could be all kinds of people!” He replied.

“Do you seriously not-- it’s Minervaling... here about you-know-what.”

“OH, MINNY! gOOD OLE MINNY, HERE TO HANG WITH ME DURING A THUNDERSTORM--”

Minervaling was forced to cover his mouth again.

“Shhhhhhhhhh!!!!” The nearby goblins in their bunks were already starting to turn and twist under the blankets. “Do you want to wake up everybody?!” Again, they removed their hand, for Perploop’s answer.

“Why not? Let’s party!”

“No! We can’t make a party out of reading his Grace’s diary! If we do, he’ll find out!”

“Good point.”

The two could barely see each other and found themselves in a pregnant pause.

“You’ve still got it, don’t you?” Came Minervaling’s quivering query.

“Oh yes, got it, I do. Caressed between me mattresses,” Perploop claimed.

“...You haven’t got any mattresses,” Minervaling pointed out.

They were quiet again.

“Oh... you’re right, Minny.” He pulled it out from beneath him. “Twas between my cheeks and the hammock. Silly me.”

They each climbed down the ladder, and Perploop took a lantern with him from the foot of the bunk-hammock, so that they may wander off, hand in hand, to a more suitable place.

“Seems disrespectful to ‘ave your bum upon... well, any of his Sparkliness’ property,” Minervaling trailed.

“Had to hide it, Minny, I did.”

“Fair enough.”

Once they had closed the door inside of a broom closet, they sat in suspense. Minervaling had to be the one to place the diary in their lap, as Perploop’s was too small to prop up something of such weight and girth.

Yes, Jareth’s was a diary of... supreme girth.

They hardly knew where to start with it, besides page one.

Perploop’s claw was first to grab the cover for it.

“Wait!” Minervaling begged. Perploop looked confused. “Gimme a minute.”

“What for?”

“To prepare m’self!” Perploop was even more confused. “Who knows what could be written in there! Why, I suspect his Grace’s thoughts could be quite scary! Maybe we don’t even know ‘im, Perploop!”

“Oh, we do, You’ve no reason to worry, Minny. He’s just the same, in writing.”

“How do you know?!”

“Well, I’ve already been reading it. I’m through the first five chapters, Minny.”

“Will you quit calling me ‘Minny’?”

“Sorry, Minny. I-I-I mean, Minervaling. ‘Lingy’? Would you prefer that?”

“No!”

“I thought we were at nickname-basis.” Minervaling face-palmed. “Now that we’re friends and all.”

“We are, but I don’t have a nickname. Now can we stop talking about it?”

Perploops shrugged. “Well, should you change your mind about ‘em, me closest chums call me Perps.” He reached for the cover again and wasn’t stopped from turning to the first page, which was, magically, glowing...

Minervaling’s eyes widened in awe, as they had never seen such a majestic preface to one’s personal thoughts... in hardbound, paperback, or any other form. Girth, majesty, glory, and magic. What a sight for any eye, sore or otherwise, a goblin’s or God’s. More than just an apple of one: an entire garden of forbidden fruits, to anyone who beheld it, who held it there before them, who found themselves... at its behest.

To be continued...

Also, it’s posted at AO3 now!

#labyrinth #labyrinth fanfiction #fanfic #perploop and minervaling #jareth's diary #fanfiction

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honeyedquiet · 4 years

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clueless

a small psa: im really bad at titles.

anyways, this is an imagine i wrote for my friend when she was sad so i figured i’d post it here as well. that being said, it has a name and not y/n because it was for her but feel free to read it however you’d like!

word count: 3.5k

warnings: not much, maybe a curse word here or there? possibly bad plot line, and a few typos

clueless- james potter

When James usually expressed how clueless he was, it was not entirely true. In transfiguration, when Professor McGonnagall went over a bout of hard-to-follow information and he said he had no idea what was happening, he usually had a slight idea, but just didn’t know if the idea was necessarily correct. When Filch, the greasy Hogwarts caretaker who always seemed to be on his and his friends’ asses, asked him who set off dungbombs near the Slytherin common room entrance and James told him of his innocence and cluelessness, he was far from being truthful. When Snivellous angrily asked James earlier that week where he had hidden all of his underwear, James confessed profusely that he did not know where his underwear went-- for the record, he didn’t; he merely stole the underwear while Sirius hid them. But, when he said he didn’t know how to handle the certain predicament that he was in currently, he truly meant it.

When James first realized he was in love with his best friend, Sirius’, sister, Diana, he tried to simply ignore the feelings. It was easy to do at first; she was a year below them and Sirius wasn’t necessarily keen on spending all of his free time with his younger sister when all of his friends were performing pranks, sneaking out of school, and torturing that poor, greasy Snivellous. James, at first, feared that this method of bottling and stuffing his emotions deep, deep down into the pit of his stomach would not work, but it seemed luck was on James’ side for once in his life. Diana obtained the opportunity to travel abroad, to Beaubaxtions, which was in France-- which was far, far away from James-- and prayed to the Gods that all hope of keeping his friendship intact with Sirius was not lost. Of course he was saddened and upset by the news-- he even cried about it when he heard, although he would never admit it to anyone no matter how many times Remus brought up him crying alone in the boys bathroom one night in attempts to talk about it-- but he knew it would most likely be for the best. Sirius never took kindly to those who fancied Diana; he was rather protective and would threaten the people that Diana showed romantic interest in-- without her knowledge, that is. So, he knew that Sirius would most definitely not take kindly to his best mate taking up a fancy for his younger sister.

The time that Diana spent away allowed a period of time for James to attempt to “heal”. He tried to forget just how much Diana’s smile light up even the darkest of rooms, how her laugh was so contagious he didn’t believe it was possible for anyone to remain frowning if she was laughing, how her voice was commanding and soft at the same time, how her eyes lit up when she was talking about something she was passionate in, how gorgeous she looked that one day where he, Remus, Sirius, and Peter went down to a lake near Sirius’ house and Diana tagged along-- she was wearing a gorgeous blue bathing suit that complemented her glowing skin perfectly-- In other words, he just tried to forget her. He knew it would be best for him, being as Sirius wouldn’t have a reason to kill him, and for their friendship, since friends technically don’t attempt to kill other friends.

He tried, he so desperately tried to look for someone else to pour his fancies into and occupy his late night thoughts, but he couldn’t find anyone that matched Diana.

Although he was having trouble finding a “replacement” for Diana, his technique of bottling and storing his emotions had worked fairly well; they only came out in longing thoughts as he lay awake in the Gryffindor common room, staring at the dormitory ceiling.

All of his progress, if you could call it that, vanished the moment she came back. It was the summer leading into his and Sirius’ seventh year, Diana’s six and she was coming back, finally, from France to return to Hogwarts.

Sirius, Remus, James, and Peter all were on the blank spot of grass in the Potter residence’s gardens, their brooms scattered about the neatly trimmed, flowering bushes. James was laying on his back beneath an old oak tree, his black hair plastered slightly to his forehead with sweat, a slightly frustrated look on his face, his chest moving up and down with remnants of heavy breathing beneath a black tee shirt, and, in his hand, resided a golden snitch that wriggled to get free of it’s captor’s palm. Sirius was hovering a few feet above the ground, his broom beneath him, with a quaffle in his arms and a stupid smirk on his lips. Like James, he was also breathing heavily. Remus was above James in the oak tree, serenely lounging along a sturdy enough branch. A book was in his hands and his eyes moved rather quickly across the pages and his eyebrows were furrowed in slight curiosity and confusion. Peter leaned his back against the tree, his plump red face adorned with sweat and an eager smile. He looked between Sirius, Remus, and James excitedly, awaiting Remus’ verdict on what caused Sirius’ confident smirk and James’ frustrated composure.

Remus sighed and closed the quidditch rule book, shaking his head before speaking. “Sorry mate,” Remus started, a light hint of his own smirk as he regarded the confident Sirius. “James was completely in bounds. There’s nothing in the rule book that says he can’t distract you.” He finished.

Sirius huffed in his usual “this is stupid, everyone here knows i’m right.” way as he descended to the ground beside James. “Don’t think that because you beat me you’re a better player than me,” Sirius pouted, of course just playing-- everyone knew James was the best player out of all of them and had beaten them all multiple times in two versus two to prove it. “I think you just pulled a blinder,” He huffed.

James rolled his eyes, a smirk just breaking through his feigned frustrated composure before he shook his head. “Not a blinder, just skill-- Which none of you, but my good ol’ chum Remus here, seem to have.” He gloated, letting the snitch free and fly a few feet in front of him before he sat up, caught it, and laid back down against the grass.

“Oi! I’ll have you bloody know that your mum was saying different last night when-” Sirius was cut off by the door opening to the garden and his life flashed before his eyes; he didn’t dare to turn around, fearing Mrs. Potter had heard him.

However, it was not Mrs. Potter. The appearance of Mrs. Potter in the doorway wouldn’t have made James’ heart stop mid-beat with his mouth slightly agape. The appearance of Mrs. Potter in the doorway would not have made his hands clammy and resting knees weak as his mind began to race. And Mrs. Potter most certainly wouldn’t have caused such destruction on the glass jar that resided deep within him that housed the longing, perhaps dangerous, thoughts of Sirius’ sister. The appearance of Diana, however, most certainly would.

And it did.

It was like everything and nothing changed about her at the same time. She was still the same girl he knew since the end of first year and the same girl that he had seen off with Sirius on a train to France exactly a year ago-- but she was still different. The way she carried herself was more confident and airy, however even in the split second he saw her, he could recognize her ability to knock into anything within a mile radius. She seemed more refined and collected. Elegant and angelic. Ethereal. Thoughts raced his mind, going a mile a second as he tried to contain the cracking jar within his mind.

He felt like he was on auto-pilot mode as he greeted her, an appropriately wide smile on his lips, however he knew he jumped up too quickly and hugged her just a little too tightly. He asked her questions a little too excitedly, looked at her a little too long.

That night, he debated on writing his will.

He had it bad; he knew he did. Remus now knew he did as well, being as he forced it out of him just a day after Diana arrived and with every day longer that she was with them, the more the jar broke. He tried his best to play it cool around her, to simply act how a brother’s best friend should act. He tried, he truly did. He also truly felt guilty when he failed.

The more days that passed, the harder it got for James to act in a way that wouldn’t tip Sirius off to even a hint of James fancying Diana. Part of him hoped to be as far away from Daina as possible, so he would not make a stupid mistake of getting caught admiring her, while another part of him wished to be alone with Diana: to kiss her plump lips, to hold her cheeks in his hand, to moved his skilled fingers across the buttons of her shirt while he held her against--

“James! Did you not hear anything that I just said?” Sirius grumbled as he stood from the couch they were currently sitting on.

“Sorry, not really. I think I’m getting a bit of a headache.”

Remus made a face and James sent him a harsh glare. He didn’t need Remus fucking this up.

“I said that I’m going to go to Diagon Ally with Remus and leave you with the she-devil until we come back with her new stupid jersey,” Sirius huffed and Diana laughed from her spot on the couch.

Just hours prior, Sirius and Remus lost a game of Wizards Chess to Diana and were then obligated to get her new quidditch jerseys as a winning prize.

“Make sure she doesn’t tear up the place so mum isn’t mad at me. We all know how dogs can get,” Sirius’ laughter was broken by Diana getting up with an exclamation of distaste at Sirius calling her a dog.

James wished he would have taken a portrait of how scared Sirius looked at his sister before pulling Remus into the fire pit and using the floo powder to escape her wrath.

Now, the thoughtless side of James had gotten it’s wish. He and Diana were alone, only separated by a coffee table between them.

Over the next few hours, things were going fine. He had busted out some of his Firewhiskey to “add a little fun into the mix,” but it was mostly to calm his nerves. He didn’t know what he was to do. Should he ignore her or go to his room? Or should he do exactly what the thoughtless, careless side of him wanted him to do and indulge in his fantasies that he stayed up many nights forming.

The firewhiskey seemed to make that decision on its own once they both had a few drinks. They weren’t drunk or impaired, so to say, merely tipsy and very, very close now. James just realized how close they were exactly.

Diana was rambling about something to do with Beauxbatons, he didn’t exactly know what being as all of his focus was split into two things: her lips, and resisting the urge to place his lips on hers. Something else caught his focus and the three way split was too much for his jaded brain to handle so he lost grip on his control. As a consequence, his hands came up and cupped her cheeks, placing his lips on hers.

He had felt extremely guilty about kissing Diana that night, although not because she didn’t like it, he knew she liked it very much, but because he betrayed Sirius. Though the guilt subsided more and more with each time that found a spot to indulge in each other. They took a chance of any privacy they could get: midnight rendezvous, sweet early morning kisses, “quidditch lessons”, anything being as Sirius staying with James now left little moments of privacy to them where they had not feared of the tall, black-haired boy that they both adored to dearly walking in on them.

Now, being at Hogwarts, things regarding moments alone with Diana were easier and more difficult at the same time. It was easier to sneak away from Sirius under the guise of extra lessons, hanging out with another friend, extra studying, but yet it was harder because he also had to make sure he had the Marauder's map with him. They were officially dating now, and had been for a few months, but had chosen to keep it secret until they could find the right time to notify Sirius that his best friend was now dating his sister.

The predicament in question was brought along by a rush of passion, and carelessness. Diana had been teasing James all day relentlessly, sending him notes of what exactly she would like for him to do to her in the midst of class, mumbling in his ear in Potions as he tried to follow the directions that were scrawled on the board, putting her hand on his thigh during lunch, sitting on his lap in the deserted library during their shared break. All of this led to James ending the day with a large and very uncomfortable hard-on, which seemed to impair his judgement. He had rushed off after quidditch practice to go find the very girl that caused his problem, but had failed to check if he had the map.

James was able to sneak Diana into the common room and to the boys dormitory, being as girls can enter the boys yet not vice versa, and was pushing her against the wall in an instant. Lips, teeth, and tongues were all gnashing together passionately and needingly as he fumbled his way to the bed, Diana locked in his arms. He was on top of her the moment she hit the soft padding of the mattress, his fingers fumbling with the buttons on her shirt while hers were doing the same to his shirt. It was not long until they both were naked except for Diana’s panties and James’ boxers. James kissed down Daina’s body, admiring it and savoring it with each kiss before he reached the hem of her underwear. Without a second thought, his hand moved beneath it and tugged it down her legs, throwing it to the side of the bed before kissing up the insides of her thighs, nearing the crux where he knew she wanted him to be so desperately. His fingers worked small circles against her clit as he nipped teasingly against the soft skin of her thighs. His mouth slowly drew nearer to her slit and he slowly-

The door opened quickly and James almost threw himself back, nearly tumbling off the bed, and scrambled to grab hold of the blanket to cover Diana up. He straightened his glasses that had fallen in the scramble to see who was in front of him and his heart dropped.

Sirius. An angry, heaving Sirius, mind you.

This is exactly the predicament in question that he had no idea how to handle. ‘How do you explain to your best mate that you’re in love with his sister after he found you buried between her legs? Well, i’ll definitely find out tonight,’ he thought.

Sirius was angry, his eyes not looking at Diana as she didn’t dare to move from James’ bed, but they were rather fixed on James. Sirius drew nearer to James and he expected the punch before Sirius even drew back his fist. Just because he expected it, however, does not mean that it didn’t necessarily hurt which damn, it did. James stumbled back, holding his jaw, although he didn’t fight back. He knew he deserved it. He only fought back when Sirius took his wand out and James disarmed him, knowing that the last thing either of them wanted was McGonagall coming up, seeing them hurling spells at each other, James half naked, while Diana Black, a Hufflepuff, lay in James’ bed, completely naked. It would be too many detentions than what it was worth.

It took awhile for Sirius to calm down enough to stop squirming against the body-binding spell that Remus had to put on him. By this time, Diana was dressed and sitting on the edge of James’ bed, her fingers fumbling together anxiously as James rambled off apologies. Remus released Sirius from the spell but kept his wand away from him and a hand on his shoulder.

“What the bloody hell, James! You’re my best mate! You shouldn’t be shagging my sister,” Sirius yelled and James felt the same pit of guilt in his stomach as he had that first night him and Diana kissed.

“Look mate, i’m sorry, I am but-”

“There’s a but to this? You think I'm going to let you keep shagging my sister?” Sirius yelled in disgust.

“No! Well-”

“You have a lot of fucking nerve, Potter. Seriously, my sister!” Sirius outraged.

“It’s not nerve, I’m trying to explain-”

“I’m not asking you to explain, i’m asking you to stop shagging my sister and-”

“I’m not Shagging your sister, it’s-”

“What do you call being-” Sirius almost couldn’t get the words out over a gag, “literally buried between my sister’s legs?”

“I’m not saying that I wasn’t shagging her but-”

“So you were shagging her, this is ridiculous, i-”

This time, it wasn’t James retorting to continue the bickering, it was Diana finally speaking.

“For the love of Merlin, just stop! Sirius, I love you, but you can’t act like I'm yours to keep safe and take charge of. James and I weren’t just shagging,” She started and James felt nauseous. Diana took a gulp, looking at her brother’s angry face. “We aren’t just fucking. We’re dating.” She finished and the room fell silent. Even Remus was shocked.

“You two are dating?” Sirius asked, now completely breathless by the news.

James so greatly wanted to turn away and say no, to turn back the last hour or so and just take care of his boner himself instead of greedily and carelessly meeting with Diana unplanned. “Yes,” James finally spoke and he thought Sirius was going to pass out at once. We have been for a few months. We just didn’t want to tell you because,” He motioned to his now bruising cheek, “ We knew that you wouldn’t necessarily take it the best.” He reasoned, trying to rid his voice of anything that would cause Sirius to throw a fit again. “I’m sorry you walked in on us, it was careless on my part. But I promise I’m not just fucking her. I wouldn’t disrespect you nor her like that,” He said truthfully and Sirius, although still red in the face, was now listening. “It’s not just a short fling either,” James looked from Sirius to Diana and back to Sirius. He gulped slightly, knowing that the only way that he could make Sirius truly believe that he wasn’t just using his sister was to tell him something that he hadn’t even told Diana yet, although he knew it before the relationship.

“I love her.” He finally said and he saw Sirius deflate for a moment before sitting back up. He stayed quiet for a while and so did everyone else in the room. “You love my sister.” Sirius finally said, as if confirming it and James nodded, his eyes trained on Sirius. He didn’t want to see whether Diana was disgusted or accepting of his feelings. “I do, I really do. You know I won’t hurt her,” Those seemed to be the right words to say, being as Sirius gave a soft nod.

“Alright,” Sirius mumbled, scratching the back of his neck. “I guess I can’t do anything about it, either then right?” He asked, as if he was hoping for one of them to say that there was a phrase he could say to undo the feelings that they both clearly had for each other.

“No, nothing,” Diana spoke up and James finally looked at her. Relief welled in his chest when he saw the bright grin on Diana’s face, telling him that she returned his feelings.

It was a long while and after an equally long talk that Sirius finally stood, not fully accepting of the relationship but he wasn’t mad at either of them. They had talked things through, mended the slight crack in the resilient friendship between James and Sirius, and repaired the slight crack in the wall left from Sirius pushing James into it before James finally walked Diana out of the common room and back in front of the Hufflepuff entrance.

He was about to bid her an exhausted goodnight before he was caught off guard by Diana’s kiss to his lips.

“I love you too,”

#james potter #harry potter #james potter imagine #harry potter imagine #writing #hp

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tubbinary · 4 years

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Here in my garage, just bought this new lamborghini here. It’s fun to drive up here in the Steam Hills. But you know what I like more than single discounts? Steam Sales In fact, I’m a lot more proud of two new Steam Sales that I had to get installed to hold twelve thousand new discounts on Steam. It’s like what i say, “the more you discount, the more you earn.”

My Grandfather smoked his whole life. I was about 10 years old when my mother said to him, 'If you ever want to see your grandchildren graduate, you have to stop immediately.'. Tears welled up in his eyes when he realized what exactly was at stake. He gave it up immediately. Three years later he died of lung cancer. It was really sad and destroyed me. My mother said to me- 'Don't ever smoke. Please don't put your family through what your Grandfather put us through." I agreed. At 28, I have never touched a cigarette. I must say, I feel a very slight sense of regret for never having done it, because your post gave me cancer anyway.

ＨＥＹ　ＲＴＺ，　Ｉ’Ｍ　ＴＲＹＩＮＧ　ＴＯ　ＬＥＡＲＮ　ＴＯ　ＰＬＡＹ　ＲＩＫＩ．　Ｉ　ＪＵＳＴ　ＨＡＶＥ　Ａ　ＱＵＥＳＴＩＯＮ　ＡＢＯＵＴ　ＴＨＥ　ＳＫＩＬＬ　ＢＵＩＬＤ：　ＳＨＯＵＬＤ　Ｉ　ＭＡＸ　ＢＡＣＫＳＴＡＢ　ＬＩＫＥ　ＹＯＵ　ＢＡＣＫＳＴＡＢＢＥＤ　ＥＧ，　ＳＭＯＫＥＳＣＲＥＥＮ　ＳＯ　ＴＨＥＹ　ＭＩＳＳ　ＭＥ　ＬＩＫＥ　ＥＧ　ＭＩＳＳ　ＹＯＵ　７０％　ＯＦ　ＴＨＥ　ＴＩＭＥ，　ＯＲ　ＰＥＲＭＡＮＥＴ　ＩＮＶＩＳＩＢＩＬＩＴＹ　ＳＯ　Ｉ　ＣＯＵＬＤ　ＤＩＳＡＰＰＥＡＲ　ＬＩＫＥ　ＹＯＵ　ＤＩＳＡＰＰＥＡＲＥＤ　ＦＲＯＭ　ＥＧ

I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.

Gr8 b8, m8. I rel8, str8 appreci8, and congratul8. I r8 this b8 an 8/8. Plz no h8, I'm str8 ir8. Cr8 more, can't w8. We should convers8, I won't ber8, my number is 8888888, ask for N8. No calls l8 or out of st8. If on a d8, ask K8 to loc8. Even with a full pl8, I always have time to communic8 so don't hesit8. dont forget to medit8 and particip8 and masturb8 to allevi8 your ability to tabul8 the f8. We should meet up m8 and convers8 on how we can cre8 more gr8 b8, I'm sure everyone would appreci8, no h8. I don't mean to defl8 your hopes, but its hard to dict8 where the b8 will rel8 and we may end up with out being appreci8d, I'm sure you can rel8. We can cre8 b8 like alexander the gr8, stretch posts longer than the Nile's str8s. We'll be the captains of b8, 4chan our first m8s the growth r8 will spread to reddit and like real est8 and be a flow r8 of gr8 b8, like a blind d8 we'll coll8, meet me upst8 where we can convers8, or ice sk8 or lose w8 infl8 our hot air baloons and fly, tail g8. We could land in Kuw8, eat a soup pl8 followed by a dessert pl8 the payment r8 won't be too ir8 and hopefully our currency won't defl8. We'll head to the Israeli-St8, taker over like Herod the gr8 and b8 the jewish masses, 8 million, m8. We could interrel8 communism, thought it's past it's maturity d8, a department of st8, volunteer st8. reduce the infant mortality r8, all in the name of making gr8 b8 m8.

What the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) did you just ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) say about me, you little ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)? I'll have you know I graduated top of my ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) in the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), and I've been involved in numerous secret ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) on ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), and I have over 300 confirmed ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). I am trained in ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) warfare and I'm the top ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) in the entire US armed ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). You are nothing to me but just another ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). I will wipe you the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) out with precision the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) of which has never been seen before on this ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), mark my ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) words. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) think ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) can get away with saying that ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) to me over the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)? Think again, ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). As we speak I am contacting my secret network of ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) across the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) and your ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) is being ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) right now so you better ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) for the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). The ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). You're ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) dead, ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). I can be ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), anytime, and I can ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) you in over seven hundred ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), and that's just with my bare ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). Not only am I extensively trained in ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) combat, but I have access to the entire ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) of the United States ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) off the face of the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), you little ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) comment was about to bring down upon ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), maybe you would have held your ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). I will ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) fury all over ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) and ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) will ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) in it. You're ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) dead, ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°).

My name is Artour Babaevsky. I grow up in smal farm to have make potatos. Father say "Artour, potato harvest is bad. Need you to have play professional Doto in Amerikanski for make money for head-scarf for babushka."I bring honor to komrade and babushka. Sorry for is not have English. Please no cyka pasta coperino pasterino liquidino throwerino.

hi every1 im new!!!!!!! holds up spork my name is katy but u can call me t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m!!!!!!!! lol…as u can see im very random!!!! thats why i came here, 2 meet random ppl like me _… im 13 years old (im mature 4 my age tho!!) i like 2 watch invader zim w/ my girlfreind (im bi if u dont like it deal w/it) its our favorite tv show!!! bcuz its SOOOO random!!!! shes random 2 of course but i want 2 meet more random ppl =) like they say the more the merrier!!!! lol…neways i hope 2 make alot of freinds here so give me lots of commentses!!!!

DOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <--- me bein random again _^ hehe…toodles!!!!!

Hi, 4k player here who reported slahser. Slahser was our position 1 faceless void. He built a mek and had around 29 healing salves in his inventory. He would chrono both teams in the middle of a fight, salve his allies, pop mek, and proceeded to yell "SLAHSER'S WAY". We gave him position 1 farm so he could be a position 5.

Granted, his unorthodox build worked and carried us to victory but I still felt it deserved a report.

I owe my life to Arteezy. I got in a horrible car crash and i was in 6 month coma. The nurse switched to the Twitch channel to Arteezy's stream. I awoke from my coma and muted it.

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ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ RAISE YOUR DONGERS ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

(ง ͠ ͠° ل͜ °)ง ᴛʜᴇ ᴜɴsᴇᴇɴ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀ ɪs ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇᴀᴅʟɪᴇsᴛ (ง ͠° ل͜ °)ง

▬▬ι═══════ﺤ As I ʜᴏʟᴅ ᴛʜᴇ sᴀᴍᴜʀᴀɪ sᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴍʏ sᴛᴏᴍᴀᴄʜ ᴀs I ᴡᴀs ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴄᴏᴍᴍɪᴛ sᴜᴅᴏᴋᴜ, I ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜ Kʀɪᴘᴘ ᴘʟᴀʏ Cᴀsᴜᴀʟsᴛᴏɴᴇ... I ʀᴇᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀ ᴀ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ Kʀɪᴘ ᴡᴀs Nᴏʟɪғᴇ... ɴᴏᴡ I ᴀᴍ Nᴏʟɪғᴇ...ɢᴏᴏᴅ ʙʏᴇ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ ▬▬ι═══════ﺤ

(ง ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)ง ᴛʜɪs ɪs ᴏᴜʀ ᴄʜᴀᴛ ᴍᴏᴅs (ง ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)ง (ง •̀_•́)ง ʏᴇᴀʜ sᴘᴀᴍ ɪᴛ! (ง •̀_•́)ง

(╭ರ_•́)\ Mr. Fors we politely ask for the program 'Plug-Dj" to be used in this live broadcast for alas we will stir up a ruckus (╭ರ_•́)

(̿▀̿ ̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿)̄ ɴᴀᴍᴇ's ᴅᴏɴɢ. ᴊᴀᴍᴇs ᴅᴏɴɢ (̿▀̿ ̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿)̄

(ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง I have been training since before I was born, and today is the day. Today is the day I spam. (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง

༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽YOU CAME TO THE WRONG DONGERHOOD༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽

༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ YOU PASTARINO'D THE WRONG DONGERINO ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽

༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༽ºل͟º ༽ YOU COPERINO FRAPPUCCIONO PASTARINO'D THE WRONG DONGERINO ༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༽ºل͟º ༽

༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽You either die a DONG, or live long enough to become the DONGER༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽

༼ ಠل͟ರೃ༼ ಠل͟ರೃ༼ ಠل͟ರೃ༼ ಠل͟ರೃ ༽ಠل͟ರೃ ༽ಠل͟ರೃ ༽ YOU ARRIVED IN THE INCORRECT DONGERHOOD, SIR༼ ಠل͟ರೃ༼ ಠل͟ರೃ༼ ಠل͟ರೃ༼ ಠل͟ರೃ ༽ಠل͟ರೃ ༽ಠل͟ರೃ ༽

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )つ──☆*:・ﾟ clickty clack clickty clack with this chant I summon spam to the chat ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )つ──☆*:・ﾟ

ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ. ʜᴀʀᴅᴇʀ, ʙᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ, ғᴀsᴛᴇʀ, ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀ .ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ

ヽ(◉◡◔)ﾉ I'M LOL FAN AND I HAVE DOWN SYNDROME ヽ(◉◡◔)ﾉ

(ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง ᴍᴀsᴛᴇʀ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀ, ᴍᴀsᴛᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɴᴇᴍʏ (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง

(ง ͠° ل͜ °)ง LET ME DEMONSTRATE DONGER DIPLOMACY (ง ͠° ل͜ °)ง

(\ ( ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°) /) OUR DONGERS ARE RAZOR SHARP (\ ( ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°) /)

ヽ༼◥▶ل͜◀◤༽ﾉ RO RO RAISE YOUR DONGERS ヽ༼◥▶ل͜◀◤༽ﾉ

̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'̵͇̿̿з=༼ ▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿ ༽=ε/̵͇̿̿/’̿’̿ ̿ ̿̿[} ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿^ Stop right there criminal scum! no one RIOTs on my watch. I'm confiscating your goods. now pay your fine, or it's off to jail.

̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'̵͇̿̿з=༼ ▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿ ༽ YOU'RE UNDER ARREST FOR BEING CASUAL. COME OUT WITH YOUR DONGERS RAISED ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'̵͇̿̿з=༼ ▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿ ༽

(ง'̀-'́)ง ＤＯＮＧＯＲＤＩＥ (ง'̀-'́)ง

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ raise your dongers ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ VOICE OF AN ANGEL ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ LETS GET DONGERATED ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ RAISE YOUR BARNO ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ "I have a dong" ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ - Martin Luther King Jr.

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ OJ poured and candle lit, with this chant i summon Kripp ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

☑ OJ poured ☑ Candle lit ☑ Summoning the Kripp ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

ヽ༼ຈل͜O༽ﾉ ʀᴀɪs ᴜʀ ᴅᴀɢᴇʀᴏ ヽ༼ຈل͜___ຈ༽ﾉ

(ง ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)งSuccubus release Kripp or taste our rage(ง ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)ง

ノ(ಠ_ಠノ ) ʟᴏᴡᴇʀ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀs ノ(ಠ_ಠノ)

ヽ༼Ὸل͜ຈ༽ﾉ HOIST THY DONGERS ヽ༼Ὸل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

ヽ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ﾉ Kripp you are kinda like my dad, except you're always there for me. ヽ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ﾉ

█▄༼ຈل͜ຈ༽▄█ yeah i work out

༼ ºل͟º ༽ I AM A DONG ༼ ºل͟º ༽

༼ ºل͟º༽ I DIDN'T CHOOSE THE DONGLIFE, THE DONGLIFE CHOSE ME ༼ ºل͟º༽

༼ ºل͟º༽ NO ONE CARED WHO I WAS UNTIL I PUT ON THE DONG ༼ ºل͟º༽

༼ ºººººل͟ººººº ༽ I AM SUPER DONG ༼ ºººººل͟ººººº ༽

┌∩┐༼ ºل͟º ༽┌∩┐ SUCK MY DONGER ┌∩┐༼ ºل͟º ༽┌∩┐

ζ༼Ɵ͆ل͜Ɵ͆༽ᶘ FINALLY A REAL DONG ζ༼Ɵ͆ل͜Ɵ͆༽ᶘ

<ᴍᴇssᴀɢᴇ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀᴇᴅ>

ヽ༼ʘ̚ل͜ʘ̚༽ﾉIS THAT A DONGER IN YOUR POCKET?ヽ༼ʘ̚ل͜ʘ̚༽ﾉ

༼ ͡■ل͜ ͡■༽ OPPA DONGER STYLE ༼ ͡■ل͜ ͡■༽

( ° ͜ ʖ °) REGI OP ( ° ͜ ʖ °)

(̿▀̿ ̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿)̄ IM DONG,JAMES DONG (̿▀̿ ̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿)̄

(ง⌐□ل͜□)ง WOULD YOU HIT A DONGER WITH GLASSES (ง⌐□ل͜□)ง

ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ CUDDLE UR DONGERS ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

ლ(́◉◞౪◟◉‵ლ) let me hold your donger for a while ლ(́◉◞౪◟◉‵ლ)

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ง MY RIGHT DONG IS ALOT STRONGER THAN MY LEFT ONE ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ง

(✌ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞ May the DONG be with you! ☚(ﾟヮﾟ☚)

(⌐■_■)=/̵͇̿̿/'̿'̿̿̿ ̿ ̿̿ ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ Keep Your Dongers Where i Can See Them

̿'̿'\̵͇̿̿\з=( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)=ε/̵͇̿̿/'̿̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ DUDE̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'\̵͇̿̿\з=( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)=ε/̵͇̿̿/'̿̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ PLEASE NO COPY PASTERONI MACORONI DONGERIN

( ͝° ͜ʖ͡°) Mom always said my donger was big for my age ( ͝° ͜ʖ͡°)

(/ﾟДﾟ)/ WE WANT SPELUNKY (/ﾟДﾟ)/

─=≡Σ((( つ◕ل͜◕)つ sᴜᴘᴇʀ ᴅᴏɴɢ

(✌ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞ POINT ME TO THE DONGERS (✌ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞

ᕙ( ^ₒ^ c) 〇〇〇〇ᗩᗩᗩᗩᕼᕼ ᕙ( ^ₒ^ c)

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ ArcheAge or BEES ヽ̛͟͢༼͝ຈ͢͠لຈ҉̛༽̨҉҉ﾉ̨

୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨ MRGLRLRLR ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉITS A HARD DONG LIFE ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉMOLLYヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

༼ つ ຈل͜ຈ ༽つ GIVE MOLLY ༼ つ ຈل͜ຈ ༽つ

†ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ† By the power of donger I summon MOLLY †ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ†

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉTAKING A DUMPヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ WHAT DOESNT KILL ME ONLY MAKES ME DONGER ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ FOREVER DONG ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

[̲̅$̲̅(̲̅ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°̲̅)̲̅$̲̅] Mo' money, mo' Dongers [̲̅$̲̅(̲̅ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°̲̅)̲̅$̲̅]

༼ᕗຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ Drop Bows on 'em ༼ᕗຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ

Ѱζ༼ᴼل͜ᴼ༽ᶘѰ HIT IT WITH THE FORK Ѱζ༼ᴼل͜ᴼ༽ᶘѰ

Ψ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽Ψ hit it with the fork Ψ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽Ψ

(∩ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)⊃━☆ﾟ. * ・｡ﾟ Copypastus Totalus!!

ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ༼ຈ ل͜ຈ༽ﾉ☂ ɪᴛs ʀᴀɪɴɪɴɢ sᴀʟᴛ! ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ☂ ヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽヽ｀ヽ、ヽヽ｀ヽ

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬

⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬛⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬛⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬

IM DELETING YOU, DADDY!😭👋 ██]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] 10% complete..... ████]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] 35% complete.... ███████]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] 60% complete.... ███████████] 99% complete..... 🚫ERROR!🚫 💯True💯 Daddies are irreplaceable 💖I could never delete you Daddy!💖 Send this to ten other 👪Daddies👪 who give you 💦cummies💦 Or never get called ☁️squishy☁️ again❌❌😬😬❌❌ If you get 0 Back: no cummies for you 🚫🚫👿 3 back: you're squishy☁️💦 5 back: you're daddy's kitten😽👼💦 10+ back: Daddy

Fuck a hater , hit a snitch , your my girl 👭 , my 5 star bitch , i love you more than any dick 💕💯, && if i dont get this back 🕙 , you aint worth shit !! Send this to 8 girls you care about .. 💯 I love you , I love you forever !! 💯 Whoever stops this will suffer for 83 days !! 💯💯💯 Ready, set, GO !!!! in

Stahp. 👋 🏻 Don't Flirt Wit Meh. Do Yhu Not Know What In A➡ RELATIONSHIP⬅ Means.? Frfr.👋 🏻 I Am Loyal. 💯 I Am In Love.💗 && Nobody Gunna Come Between Us. 😝 Stop Wit Yhur Thirsty Asses Tryna Hit Me Up On The DL, I Am Commited.✌ 🏼👌🏼💯

! ! ! ATTENTION 2003 KIDS ! ! ! This 👇 is the last year of being a kid 👦👧! Because NEXT 👉YEAR! We gon be T33N4G3RS💁💅!! PARTYING 🎉💃 DRINKING 🍻🍸🍹🍷 MAKING OUT AND SEX 👅💦O_O PERIODS ☹🍫 HEARTBREAKS 💔☹ MIDDLE SCHOOL SOPHOMORES (7️⃣TH GRADE)

#this took a lot of effort wow #copypastas #swastika tw #submission

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asexual--junpei · 3 years

Note

ᕦ(✧ᗜ✧)ᕥ You take the moon and you take the sun. ᕦ(✧ᗜ✧)ᕥ

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) You take everything that sounds like fun. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

☞♥Ꮂ♥☞ You stir it all together and then you're done. ☞♥Ꮂ♥☞

ᕙ(◍.◎)ᕗ Rada rada rada rada rada rada. ᕙ(◍.◎)ᕗ

ᕦ(✧ᗜ✧)ᕥ ☞♥Ꮂ♥☞ ᕙ(◍.◎)ᕗ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) So come on in, feel free to do some looking.

Stay a while 'cause somethings always cooking.

Come on in, feel free to do some looking.

Stay a while 'cause somethings always cooking.

Yeah!!! ᕦ(✧ᗜ✧)ᕥ ☞♥Ꮂ♥☞ ᕙ(◍.◎)ᕗ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

- 1x Monster Horse Dildo 12' Lubricated Thrusters

- 3x Backdoor Sluts 9

- 1x "Undetectable Aimbot" from AimJunkies

- 6x Magnum condoms

- 5x Bananas

- 1x Small Condom

- 2x Subscription to JakeChillz Minecraft stream

- 1x Deag's Rust Career

- 1x Gay Poster

Please respond back to us using your old email:

[email protected]

Thanks for your patience,

Wells All Mighty Lord Gabe.

ＨＥＹＲＴＺ，Ｉ’ＭＴＲＹＩＮＧＴＯＬＥＡＲＮＴＯＰＬＡＹＲＩＫＩ．ＩＪＵＳＴＨＡＶＥＡＱＵＥＳＴＩＯＮＡＢＯＵＴＴＨＥＳＫＩＬＬＢＵＩＬＤ：ＳＨＯＵＬＤＩＭＡＸＢＡＣＫＳＴＡＢＬＩＫＥＹＯＵＢＡＣＫＳＴＡＢＢＥＤＥＧ，ＳＭＯＫＥＳＣＲＥＥＮＳＯＴＨＥＹＭＩＳＳＭＥＬＩＫＥＥＧＭＩＳＳＹＯＵ７０％ＯＦＴＨＥＴＩＭＥ，ＯＲＰＥＲＭＡＮＥＴＩＮＶＩＳＩＢＩＬＩＴＹＳＯＩＣＯＵＬＤＤＩＳＡＰＰＥＡＲＬＩＫＥＹＯＵＤＩＳＡＰＰＥＡＲＥＤＦＲＯＭＥＧ

DOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <--- me bein random again _^ hehe…toodles!!!!!

Granted, his unorthodox build worked and carried us to victory but I still felt it deserved a report.

I owe my life to Arteezy. I got in a horrible car crash and i was in 6 month coma. The nurse switched to the Twitch channel to Arteezy's stream. I awoke from my coma and muted it.

▄▄▄▀▀▀▄▄███▄

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░░░░░le░░░░░░░▐░░░░▐█████████████▄

░░░░toucan░░░░░░▀▄░░░▐██████████████▄

░░░░░░has░░░░░░░░▀▄▄████████████████▄

░░░░░arrived░░░░░░░░░░░░█▀██████

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ RAISE YOUR DONGERS ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

(ง ͠ ͠° ل͜ °)ง ᴛʜᴇ ᴜɴsᴇᴇɴ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀ ɪs ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇᴀᴅʟɪᴇsᴛ (ง ͠° ل͜ °)ง

(ง ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)ง ᴛʜɪs ɪs ᴏᴜʀ ᴄʜᴀᴛ ᴍᴏᴅs (ง ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)ง (ง •̀_•́)ง ʏᴇᴀʜ sᴘᴀᴍ ɪᴛ! (ง •̀_•́)ง

(╭ರ_•́)\ Mr. Fors we politely ask for the program 'Plug-Dj" to be used in this live broadcast for alas we will stir up a ruckus (╭ರ_•́)

(̿▀̿ ̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿)̄ ɴᴀᴍᴇ's ᴅᴏɴɢ. ᴊᴀᴍᴇs ᴅᴏɴɢ (̿▀̿ ̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿)̄

(ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง I have been training since before I was born, and today is the day. Today is the day I spam. (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง

༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽YOU CAME TO THE WRONG DONGERHOOD༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽

༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ YOU PASTARINO'D THE WRONG DONGERINO ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽

༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༽ºل͟º ༽ YOU COPERINO FRAPPUCCIONO PASTARINO'D THE WRONG DONGERINO ༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༽ºل͟º ༽

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )つ──☆*:・ﾟ clickty clack clickty clack with this chant I summon spam to the chat ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )つ──☆*:・ﾟ

ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ. ʜᴀʀᴅᴇʀ, ʙᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ, ғᴀsᴛᴇʀ, ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀ .ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ

ヽ(◉◡◔)ﾉ I'M LOL FAN AND I HAVE DOWN SYNDROME ヽ(◉◡◔)ﾉ

(ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง ᴍᴀsᴛᴇʀ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀ, ᴍᴀsᴛᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɴᴇᴍʏ (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง

(ง ͠° ل͜ °)ง LET ME DEMONSTRATE DONGER DIPLOMACY (ง ͠° ل͜ °)ง

(\ ( ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°) /) OUR DONGERS ARE RAZOR SHARP (\ ( ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°) /)

ヽ༼◥▶ل͜◀◤༽ﾉ RO RO RAISE YOUR DONGERS ヽ༼◥▶ل͜◀◤༽ﾉ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'̵͇̿̿з=༼ ▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿ ༽=ε/̵͇̿̿/’̿’̿ ̿ ̿̿[} ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿^ Stop right there criminal scum! no one RIOTs on my watch. I'm confiscating your goods. now pay your fine, or it's off to jail. ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'̵͇̿̿з=༼ ▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿ ༽ YOU'RE UNDER ARREST FOR BEING CASUAL. COME OUT WITH YOUR DONGERS RAISED ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'̵͇̿̿з=༼ ▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿ ༽

(ง'̀-'́)ง ＤＯＮＧＯＲＤＩＥ (ง'̀-'́)ง

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ raise your dongers ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ VOICE OF AN ANGEL ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ LETS GET DONGERATED ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ RAISE YOUR BARNO ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ "I have a dong" ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ - Martin Luther King Jr.

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ OJ poured and candle lit, with this chant i summon Kripp ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

☑ OJ poured ☑ Candle lit ☑ Summoning the Kripp ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

ヽ༼ຈل͜O༽ﾉ ʀᴀɪs ᴜʀ ᴅᴀɢᴇʀᴏ ヽ༼ຈل͜___ຈ༽ﾉ

(ง ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)งSuccubus release Kripp or taste our rage(ง ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)ง

ノ(ಠ_ಠノ ) ʟᴏᴡᴇʀ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀs ノ(ಠ_ಠノ)

ヽ༼Ὸل͜ຈ༽ﾉ HOIST THY DONGERS ヽ༼Ὸل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

ヽ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ﾉ Kripp you are kinda like my dad, except you're always there for me. ヽ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ﾉ

█▄༼ຈل͜ຈ༽▄█ yeah i work out

༼ ºل͟º ༽ I AM A DONG ༼ ºل͟º ༽

༼ ºل͟º༽ I DIDN'T CHOOSE THE DONGLIFE, THE DONGLIFE CHOSE ME ༼ ºل͟º༽

༼ ºل͟º༽ NO ONE CARED WHO I WAS UNTIL I PUT ON THE DONG ༼ ºل͟º༽

༼ ºººººل͟ººººº ༽ I AM SUPER DONG ༼ ºººººل͟ººººº ༽

┌∩┐༼ ºل͟º ༽┌∩┐ SUCK MY DONGER ┌∩┐༼ ºل͟º ༽┌∩┐

ζ༼Ɵ͆ل͜Ɵ͆༽ᶘ FINALLY A REAL DONG ζ༼Ɵ͆ل͜Ɵ͆༽ᶘ

<ᴍᴇssᴀɢᴇ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀᴇᴅ>

ヽ༼ʘ̚ل͜ʘ̚༽ﾉIS THAT A DONGER IN YOUR POCKET?ヽ༼ʘ̚ل͜ʘ̚༽ﾉ

༼ ͡■ل͜ ͡■༽ OPPA DONGER STYLE ༼ ͡■ل͜ ͡■༽

( ° ͜ ʖ °) REGI OP ( ° ͜ ʖ °)

(̿▀̿ ̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿)̄ IM DONG,JAMES DONG (̿▀̿ ̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿)̄

(ง⌐□ل͜□)ง WOULD YOU HIT A DONGER WITH GLASSES (ง⌐□ل͜□)ง

ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ CUDDLE UR DONGERS ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

ლ(́◉◞౪◟◉‵ლ) let me hold your donger for a while ლ(́◉◞౪◟◉‵ლ)

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ง MY RIGHT DONG IS ALOT STRONGER THAN MY LEFT ONE ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ง

(✌ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞ May the DONG be with you! ☚(ﾟヮﾟ☚)

(⌐■_■)=/̵͇̿̿/'̿'̿̿̿ ̿ ̿̿ ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ Keep Your Dongers Where i Can See Them ̿'̿'\̵͇̿̿\з=( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)=ε/̵͇̿̿/'̿̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ DUDE̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'\̵͇̿̿\з=( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)=ε/̵͇̿̿/'̿̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ PLEASE NO COPY PASTERONI MACORONI DONGERIN

( ͝° ͜ʖ͡°) Mom always said my donger was big for my age ( ͝° ͜ʖ͡°)

Thats so cool! You should write a book or do a screen play

- mod santa

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