#'my children will not grow up in a world where that woman exists' LITERALLY the most percy line ever.
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im listening to the whitestone stuff in campaign 3 and uhhh rip to the people who hated percy over that or thought he was being ooc or whatever the hell the discourse was. but something's deeply wrong with you
#NOW THIS MAY BE JUST ME BUT I THINK HIM REFUSING TO HELP THEM BRING LAUDNA BACK AND BEING DOWN TO KILL THEM#IF DELILAH COMES BACK WITH HER IS LIKE. A PERFECTLY UNDERSTANDABLE RESPONSE GIVEN LITERALLY EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED#LIKE THAT IS SO DEEPLY IN CHARACTER RIP TO WHOEVER HATED IT OR WHATEVER BUT THATS LITERALLY MY BOY#NUMBER ONE BITCH IN EXANDRIA THATS LITERALLY HIMMMMMM#AND ALSO ORYM FAILED ALL HIS IMPORTANT ADVANTAGE-GIVEN PERSUASION CHECKS TO CONVINCE HIM OTHERWISE. LMAO#cr#cr3#'my children will not grow up in a world where that woman exists' LITERALLY the most percy line ever.#that conversation is fascinating to me bc it's just as much a showcase of ashton's flawed perspective as it is percy's#absolutely fantastic rp and character choices from matt and taliesin thanks for giving me. Guy Yells At a Mirror of Himself#if i had one complaint over cr3 percy it's that i think he wouldn't be that stiff/formal around vex pike or keyleth but like#i think that could also be chalked up to matt wanting pike to contrast w everyone else w how informal she acts around bells hells#and also percy's stated to be epically stressed over whatevers going on w the solstice or smth i dont know a lot abt whats going on there
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there was a lot of mistakes made in the live action but the worst one without reservation was that the creators did not understand patriarchy and they did not understand women's liberation outside of an american context ( or any context if we're being honest )
it's easy to see on a surface level how that fucked up katara's whole character how she wasn't allowed to have her character defining moments how she wasn't allowed to be angry or even excited or impulsive but i think it doesn't really become clear how deeply wrong the show's conception of gender & patriarchy is (and the implications for the political landscape of the show) until you get into how they destroyed sokka's character too
sokka's whole Complex is born of patriarchy. i'm not trying to do men's rights advocacy here but in my experience when a people is under constant threat, constant assault, constant violence (much of which is gendered) and the traditional "protectors" or "providers" of that people are men, the masculine role becomes protecting women and children. i am not saying this is a good thing or a bad thing but it is true the narrative of violent resistance is overwhelmingly about men. to be a man in a time & place like this means fighting to protect your women, & to die for them is honorable. that is where sokka gets this idea that he has to be a warrior & he has to fight & if necessary die for katara & the rest of the tribe. it's about duty. everyone has a part to play, a role to fill
everyone including women! which is the other half of this. the duty of women is to keep up the home, to maintain a country worth fighting & dying for, to raise children so that the community can have a future. it becomes especially obvious in the context of the show when you see how the nwt lives & in specific how yue lives and dies.
many women participate in patriarchy. many colonized women participate in patriarchy. most of my family comes from or still lives in a country completely devastated by colonialism & its aftereffects & many women in my family believe wholeheartedly in the idea that everyone in the house has a role to play. it's not because these women are stupid or they hate themselves. but when you grow up believing that men & women are fundamentally different, and seeing that women are in specific danger because of their gender, it actually makes a lot of sense to expect the men in your family to protect you, and to raise your sons that way.
in practice that means that men aren't really expected to do anything around the house, especially when there's no actual danger. my aunt literally 2 days ago told me this lol like she doesn't make her sons do anything bc she wants to let their lives be easy before they have to go out into the world & take care of their wives & children.
what does women's liberation look like when an entire community is under threat? colonized women have been dealing with this question as long as colonialism has existed. the writers of this show don't even pretend to understand the question, much less to formulate a thoughtful response to it. they just say oh, well, katara, yue, & suki are all the exact same type of liberated girlboss for whom patriarchy is no significant obstacle.
which brings us back to sokka lol. sokka, at the beginning of the show, has completely subscribed to patriarchy, has integrated it into his sense of self. he has a lot of flaws, but he also has a lot of really good traits. his bravery, sense of honor, loyalty, work ethic, selflessness, all of this came from him striving to be a good man. he would die to protect katara, because she's his sister. he also has her wash his socks & mend his clothes, because she's his sister. even after he meets suki, humbles himself, & expands his view of the role a woman can play, he doesn't completely disengage from patriarchy. at the end of the day he believes in his soul that a good man's duty is to fight & if necessary die for his people, & that's exactly his plan. this is a very real psychic burden. pre-aang, it's also largely fictional & completely ridiculous. we're SUPPOSED to think it's ridiculous. he's spending his time training babies & working on his little watchtower. the swt hasn't been attacked since their mother was killed because it has been completely stripped of all value or danger it once held for the fire nation, & everybody knows this. there is very little "men's work" left, aside from hunting & fishing, which is so damaging to sokka's self image he resorts to toddler bootcamp to feel useful. the contradiction here is comical. it's also completely devastating. that's supposed to be the fucking POINTTTT like colonialism & patriarchy convinces this young boy he needs to be a soldier & die for his family. & you know what he does? He acts like a young boy about it. they didn't just leave this unexplored in the remake they completely changed the circumstances to 1. make sokka incompetent for some reason 2. make his "preparations" seem less ridiculous. Which ruins the whole character. Possibly the whole show.
all this makes the writing of katara & the other women infinitely more offensive to me. katara is a good character because she believes in revolution. she wants to liberate her people from imperialism, & she wants to liberate women from colonial gendered violence, traditional patriarchy in her own culture, & the complicated ways those things interact. it is LITERALLY the first thing you're supposed to learn about her. she's the PERFECT vehicle to address the question of women's liberation under colonialism. one of the things i was most looking forward to seeing in this show was how labor is distributed in a place where almost everything that needs to get done is "women's work" & how it affects katara & sokka's day to day relationship when their lives weren't at risk constantly. what actually are her responsibilities every day, & how do they compare to sokka's? how does her grandmother enforce these traditions with katara & sokka, & how is that informed by her own experiences in the nwt? what does patriarchy look like in a tribe made up of mostly women & children? it's so important to who katara is & what she believes! but why bother exploring any of that when u could instead make her a shein model who has nothing in common with the source material except her hairstyle lol.
yue is actually even worse to me bc yue is supposed to be sokka's counterpart. she's supposed to show you how destructive it is for women specifically to internalize this gendered duty so completely. it sucks for sokka, but he is a man & thus his prescribed role gives him some agency. yue's role affords her no agency whatsoever, & this is the POINT. to make her someone who's allowed to break things off with her fiance if she likes, who sneaks off to do what she wants when she's feeling stressed, whose will is respected as a monarch, like what is even the point of yue anymore? in the original the whole reason she was even allowed to spend time with sokka was because her father knew she was with a trustworthy boy. her story completely loses all significance when the dimension of patriarchy is removed from it. the crux of her whole story is that she is not just a princess but the literal & spiritual representation of the motherland. that's what women are supposed to represent during wartime, at the cost of their own sense of self. in order to fulfill her duty to her people she gives her life to them in every single way that matters.
it's just so unbelievably frustrating (and WRONG) that the only types of characters for these writers are "soulless misogynistic fuck" and "liberated american-style feminist." there's no nuance at all! they don't bother exploring how real love manifests in patriarchal communities, & how patriarchy defines the limits of that love. or how for so many of these people their idea of goodness, morality, & honor is gendered. or how imperialism affects not just individuals but entire cultures & their conceptions of gender. but why do any actual work when you could completely change sokka & katara's general demeanors, their entire personalities, & their roles in the tribe so you can dodge any & all nuance
Anyways. in conclusion. it was bad
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How Tall are the SWTOR Boyfriends?
This was written some months ago, but the Theron Height Poll has inspired me to actually post it.
Basing my metrics around 1) the average male height in the USA where I live (5'9" or 1.75m, according to google) 2) what would be funniest or cutest when matched to their personalities and dynamics with the player character. Bear in mind: I am not operating under the assumption that being a short man is something to be ashamed of (it isn't in the real world and it isn't in Star Wars), but some of the husbands in this video game have personalities that are...enhanced by engaging in a little playful stereotyping. You'll see what I mean.
Jorgan: 5'11-6'/~1.8m, hovering somewhere in the above average range. It makes him more intimidating to the average private who makes the mistake of getting his attention, but by the same token, more charming when he warms up to the Trooper and proves himself just a big fuzzy kitty. With a big fuzzy sniper rifle
Andronikos: 5'6ish, 5'7ish (~1.7m), hard to tell because he slouches. He only really stands up straight when he's trying to be a big tough guy
Quinn: 5'7"/1.7018m. No ambiguity because his posture is perfect. Alternate Interpretation: However tall your SW is, he is exactly 6 centimeters shorter. Come Here Elbow Rest
Doc: 5'4"/1.6m. No, not because I think his womanizing personality is him "overcompensating"; in fact Doc's height is only ever an advantage in his romantic conquests. He comes on so strong that him being particularly tall might be intimidating. But nah, he's just a little birthday boy, so the hot people in his orbit let their guard down, allowing him to get in close and hit 'em with a pickup line related to his medical expertise. Being small also means he's harder to hit when helping retrieve wounded resistance fighters from the battlefield #BalmorraForever
Felix: 5'11"/~1.8m, he gets an ABOVE AVERAGE height bc he is an ABOVE AVERAGE husband can I get an AMEN
Torian: You ever met a high school freshman and been fucking shocked that children are allowed to be so enormous? The kid's like, 14 years old and shot up like two feet over the summer, and it feels illegal? That's Torian. He's 19 and he's been 6'2"/~1.87m for the past five and a half years, but he's still a little gangly and the only reason he knows how to control his extremely long limbs is he's literally a trained fighter. Alternate Interpretation: If your BH is taller than 5'10, he's 5'10 exactly
Corso: 6'/1.82m. I know I just said negative associations around short men don't exist in The Galaxy Far Far Away, but Corso seems like the kind of guy who would somehow independently develop a complex about his height, if he was short. The fact he doesn't means he must be tall
Vector: God, I really wanted to make him on the shorter side of average to pair with his mild-mannered personality and contrast the more unusual elements of his speech and his eyes, but his sleek character design makes him feel tall when I'm looking at him. He's also the only LI I've drawn beside one of my characters, and I just sort of unconsciously made him tall because my agent is kind of short, and it looked appealing. Results inconclusive; some boyfriends can grow as tall as starships while others can be as small as mites
Arcann: 5'8"/1.72m. (Thexan was 5'9")
Theron: No taller than 5'9"/1.75m. Theron seems like a pretty normal guy when you meet him, until he reveals himself to be an insane little freak (affectionate), so giving him the most Average Height Possible feels correct.
Koth: However tall Lana is, Koth is exactly 2 cm shorter.
Thanks for coming to my TEDtalk. I encourage spirited debate in the replies. Girl LI Height Opinions still percolating
#swtor#aric jorgan#andronikos revel#malavai quinn#doc swtor#archiban frodrick kimble#felix iresso#torian cadera#corso riggs#vectory hyllus#arcann tirall#theron shan#koth vortena
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Hatchetfield anon here, and good to know it's fine to gush about them. (Had to Switch off from anonymous to send images :p)
The first one (and possibly less spoiler heavy) would probably be the diva, the queen bee-atch herself: Linda Monroe.
She's from Black Friday and she just scratches that part of my brain that's attracted to dommy rich ladies. She's important, her children are better than everyone else's, and though she thinks her husband is a sniveling fool, she appreciates his loyalty at least. She has a whole song about how she'll make everyone love her ("Adore Me". Quote: "You'll kneel before me, Kiss my toe"), and honestly? She's not wrong. Lot of people fell for the cult "exciting new little religion" that she started (me included. Lauren Lopez just eats her roles right the fuck up).
Then, of course, you have the cooky, reclusive, biology professor: Professor Hidgens.
Mad scientist mixed with theater kid vibes. Literally. He's as extra as you can imagine. And what I like best about him is that he's a "greater good" kind of villain. As soon as he realizes the alien hive mind that's turning the whole town into a musical (not the craziest part of this entire series, by far) could be humanity's last shot at world peace, he's all, "Okay. Yeah. Let's join the hive!", knocking out his allies, opening up the doors of his doomsday bunker, and attracting the hive zombies with his own, recently composed song, "Show Stopping Number" (quote: "it'll unify humanity, in a THUNDERING CHORUS! No exists from this Broadway venue~!"), which mixes in a except from the musical he wrote and was trying to get funding for called "Working Boys".
And finally, we have the most recent ones: Max Jagerman, and Grace Chastity.
Where do I start with Grace... She's a repressed Christian girl who thinks having no sexual thoughts until marriage is supposed to be the norm. Then she starts getting dirty thoughts, kills a man, gets her hands on a book full of rituals powered by eldritch beings and decides, "yeah. This is what I want to do with my life. Seducing pervy dudes and then, if they don't pass the vibe check, consume their soul in order to make me stronger..." One good day away from murder, really, as evidenced by her leading the songs "Bury the Bully" and "Dirty Dudes Must Die". Never really expected a character who has the canonical line "[after character A asks why character B would be in hell] -She's bisexual and dead, where else would she be?" to grow on me so strongly, and yet-
And finally we get to Max Jagerman. The unapologetically bastard of a jock with a God complex ("Don't need no one to tell me / High school will be my peak / So I'm willing to take advantage"). The way everyone paints him as this horrible monster in, well, "Literal Monster", and he doubles down on that when it becomes his turn to sing instead of the expected "I'm not *that* much of a monster, here's my redeeming qualities"... Even when his ghost is being sent to the shadow realm he reacts to it by literally saying "WORTH IT!". He's just hits all the right notes for me. The entirety of "Dirty Girl" was sung directly into my soul.
And i think that's about it for my rambling. Now I leave you with the knowledge that Grace and Max's most popular ship name (that I've seen) is "Holy Ghost/Spirit". Sorry for rambling and have a nice day!
THESE ALL SOUND SO GOOD! I definitely wanna watch these now, or at least just listen to the songs 😅😅😅
I don't even know where to start here! I cant even choose a favourite out of your descriptions!! Thank you so much!! Linda sounds completely like my type XD Oh- I have that same brain-part that makes you crave dommy rich ladies XD Especially if they're mean 😅 I'm happy to be a loyal spineless husband for a pretty woman with a sharp tongue XD Happy.
And Professor Hidgens looks promising too XD If you've been following my Callaghan meltdown you know I have a... Thing... for teachers ☠ And OH, just the way you've described him. 'knocking out his allies, opening up the doors of his doomsday bunker, and attracting the hive zombies with his own, recently composed song, "Show Stopping Number"'- Y E S. I'm all for this.
And- just- Grace and Max sound absolutely perfect XD She seems so gross and awful which I l o v e (When female villains get to be truly despicable and broken??? 👌👌👌), and him?? A villain being exactly (if not worse then) what everyone says??? Absolutely obsess-worthy.
#i n e e d them actually.#thank you soooo much for this!! i'm so into them now!! need to listen to the songs at l e a s t.#i hope you have a wonderful day too ^^ 💛
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WoC who are radfems or TERFs always tend to particularly disappoint me as a TPoC. Specifically from the perspective of somebody transitioning in a masculine direction, seeing them say the exact same shit about men/mascs of color that white racists is really upsetting. Growing up hearing about how dangerous and predatory white people think the men of color in my life are solely for being men of color (grew up as a SWANA person I the 2000's/post 9-11 so seeing people talk about saving our women who are "fragile" from "brutish and violent" brown men was commonplace) was devistating; seeing WoC radfems who I knew saw similar shit targeted towards the men in their lives parrot violently racist rethoric hurts even more (especially with the comment about trans men of color and masc trans people of color transitioning towards privilege in their eyes, as if being seen as inherently violent and brutish in the eyes of white people is a privilege). Idk but shit like this permiating so obviously through both queer and PoC spaces is so isolating and devistating.
And when I brought that up once people decided I was saying that all black women and women of color are somehow at fault, when it was very clear I was talking about how the "kill all men even marginalized men" movement is forgetting how fraught the world is for a marginalized man, and how marginalized men often do share "women's" experiences, whether because of their gender or because of a different factor within their lives, and thus making statements like "all men are violent rapists" is literally what's used by racist and homophobic and transphobic lawmakers to harm marginalized demographics whether they are actually men or not and thus people who play into that are doing the racists/homophobes/transphobes' work for them.
Another blog on another post said this better than I could but let's be serious. People perceive me as either a black butch or a black twink. Neither of these is what I would call a privileged or safe place to occupy in the world. Sometimes, rarely, being perceived as a man works in my favor (when I diffused a car accident situation I'd witnessed where a woman was being threatened by two significantly larger men after hitting their car)... at other times, it absolutely does not (when I had the police called on me for training my dog in a field, when I was challenged in a single occupancy bathroom). Sometimes, rarely, being perceived as a woman works in my favor (when a violent man reconsiders me as an appropriate target because he "doesn't hit women")... at other times, it absolutely does not (when I have been coerced into sexual situations I did not want by partners who said with their mouths that they saw me as a man but said with their actions that I would only ever be a woman, a thing to own, a bearer of children to them).
Big sigh. As long as we exist as crabs in a bucket, pulling each other down, fighting over scraps, we will never see the change we're trying to enact upon the world. That's the truth of it.
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i'm curious to hear your thoughts on the demisexual podcast
So we're talking about this article, and its corresponding podcast.
Here's my response under the cut.
I read the article and listened to the podcast and I still honestly think demisexuality is fake lmao. It doesn't make you queer or otherwise ~unique that you wait to have sex until you know and trust the person, especially as a woman where there are substantial risks to casual sex, and I don't just mean pregnancy and STIs. I said this a while ago but for the first month or so when I'm seeing a guy or going on a first date, I always let someone know, whether it's a friend or my parents, because the reality is that many men are violent, and having sex with someone you don't know puts you in a vulnerable state where it's easy to be victimized. The way I frame it to men, namely those who'd never dream of being violent to women, is that 1/4 of women are victims of sexual violence but 1/4 men are not sexually violent since most predators are serial assaulters. Does that make sense?
I totally agree with the idea that it's really cringe and even harmful that we're encouraging teenagers to construct permanent identities to temporary feelings. Plenty of young teenagers are uncomfortable about sex, and claiming that state is permanent will only mess with their minds as they grow older and more comfortable with their sexualities. If you're 14 and uncomfortable with the idea of sex, you aren't demisexual, you're just 14 lol. I think parents should validate their children's identities obviously but allowing them to define themselves on things they may not even feel in a few years is detrimental to their development.
I think that there is kind of a tie between demisexuals and incels, both male and female. There's been a lot of focus on male incels, who want to have sex with women but can't do so for a number of reasons, but I think that female incels do exist although of course, a major difference is that male incels traditionally blame women while female incels blame themselves. It's not female incels who are shooting up colleges over not getting laid, it's the Elliot Rodgers of the world. But that said, I almost feel like female incels will cling onto demisexuality or even asexuality in a way to detract from the pain of social rejection. Like, if they're demisexual or asexual, they can rationalize their not being considered sexually attractive by others as a moot point since they only feel sexually attracted to those they have emotional connections with anyways or not at all. It's kind of a coping mechanism, you know?
There's also something to be said about adults who still identify as demisexual like it begs the question: why? Why do you need a unique identity that literally means "I only have sex when I feel comfortable with my partner?" That doesn't make you unique, that makes you a normal person. I think there's something to be said where women are uncomfortable being like, sexual adults but not sexually available like it's almost as if women are conditioned to feel apologetic for not being sexually available at the beck and all of men, so they construct this whole silly identity so they have an excuse to say no so to speak.
Speaking anecdotally, I've honestly a lot of hate for being selectively sexually available like I 100% got more slander (so to speak) in college than either women that were celibate or women that were very promiscuous because I always had agency. It was my choice, and I don't mean that as a feminist statement or anything, I just was conditioned to not do anything unless I felt like it, and that carried over from not taking my medicine as a little kid and ending up in the hospital with pneumonia as a result to refusing to have sex with people in college unless I felt like it in which case I'd have sex with them 2 hours after meeting them lmao.
Sorry for rambling but I hope this was interesting to you! Let me know what you guys think as well.
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Idk maybe im being naive and this might piss some people off lol but like...
Its so weird growing up in school where i was cause we were lucky, we had history teachers that never hid or excused the horrors of American slavery, native American genocide and the Holocaust. My teacher was very direct about how important it was to know the facts about these genocides and mass governmental mistreatment. About how people would abuse your lack of knowledge to down play these events and use that misinformation to encourage further violence.
I was never prepared in middle school to have to watch the colonizer government that is America try and gaslight and brainwash this informed country about what's happening in Gaza and Palestine. I was never told it happened in my life time (it very much did surrounding 9/11 and the wars it sprung and worsened, however I was born literally 3 months before it happened so I have no living knowledge of it), infact I was told it feasibly couldnt happen in my life time, Infront of adult me with the rise of the spread of social media and Information. I was assured in those classrooms that the only reason people could hide genocide was because people didn't have the ability to talk to someone on the other side of the world in milliseconds.
That if people in other countries really truely knew what was happening truely during the slave trade and the colonization of America and especially the Holocaust, the world would of stopped it. How we all swore it wouldn't happen again. How we were the generation that would never forget and now I sit here, thousands and thousands of miles away from an ethnic cleansing similar to my ancestors and watch the people who fought for Ukraine's right to acknowledgement and survival... Tell Palestinians they should give in.
Tell Israel it has the right to exist. Ignore the Torah and it's very clear rules about how a Jewish state should never exist and ignore it. Watch my government shadow-fund it. Watch major news outlets and celebrities I loved like jack black and Jamie Lee Curtis turn on the Palestinians. Watch them sit in their big fancy houses and cushy life and tell them to die for a state that isn't even 100 yrs old and was made purely to push Jewish people out of Europe after WW2. We all know they haven't seen any footage on the ground.
We know that haven't seen the man carrying his child's body in plastic bags, they haven't seen the woman who wouldn't wash her hands of her dead child's blood because then she couldn't sleep near her children , they haven't seen the arm of an infant dead in rubble still holding a piece of bread he hadnt taken a single bite of.... And in 20 years... 30 years... Maybe even 50 years and they are all dead or aging, they'll talk about how they wanted to donate but couldn't. How they felt exhausted watching the genocide. How they were the few standing for them when the Palestinians who will survive this war, who grew up living it, try to hold their decripid, gold filled bodies accountable.
I will be there. I'll be 70 yrs old and sitting there, watching them, knowing that they were the ones who claimed they'd stand for the white victims of the invasion on Ukraine but won't stand for the brown victims of this colonization. We remember. We will always remember. They will be held accountable. The 10,000 dead and missing children will be waiting for them, telling their gods of them, because as much as they hate brown people, Palestinians are of every faith. There are Christian Palestinians, Jewish Palestinians, Muslim Palestinians... They will tell them you were complacent in the murder of these innocent fucking children. I only wish I could see it, the look on their faces, when they meet that god. And I pray they receive the same mercy those children were afforded.
The native community remembers, and we will always stand with Palestine.
#clover speaks#the war makes me sick#the zionists and their allies make me sicker#you know they are killing innocent children#you know these people have no where to run or hide#you know gazians and Palestinians have been under colonizational control for years#and they turn their heads#they who screamed for ukraine and screamed for blm will not scream for the innocent Palestinians#never fucking trust a celebrity#they will meet their karma and i hope its swift and painful#may they meet the same torture kissinger is in#from the river to the sea palestine will be free#even if there was 500 hamas in gaza even 1000 in gaza#20000 people dead and missing are never an excusable casualty number#never#it never will be#this is a genocide#this is an erasure of culture and peoples for the benefit of colonizerz#this is happening and you need to figure out which side your on when this gose down#when the dust settles and Palestinians are still there and those funding this war are put out of positions of power#people are gathering screenshots and videos of you we know your face#we know who you stood for#and you will pay for the blood you greedily shed like the fucking vermin you are#disgusting#natives stand with Palestine#natives againest colonization#we know you and we see you#this is kinda venty and dramatic ik#but i cant properly put into words how much this sickens me#how ive had to take breaks because its too much and brings up racial trauma
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Quintessential Thorne-Rose
Two crime-solving fools get drunk, make irresponsible decisions, crack all the wrong jokes and talk about things that don't make sense in the slightest.
Featuring: Trystan Thorne, Nora Rose from Crimes of Passion
Word Count: 1.2k | No Warnings/General
Based on this prompt: "Objection!" “Objection? You cannot scream objection in a private argument."
A/N: Dedicated to the lovely @aallotarenunelma, who sent me the above prompt, saying it reminded them of Nora and Trystan and I just had to write it down! Thank you so much, dear friend!
>> Listen To You Never Can Tell by Chuck Berry for the ultimate experience.
“You know? I’ve just realised a fascinating thing.”
“Enlightening. What is it?”
“If there were no murders, no cheating spouses, no despicable people in the world — I am out of a job.”
Trystan took a sip of his mysterious green beverage before setting it down. His vision was blurry, but he blamed it on exhaustion rather than the feverish alcohol consumption. Nora wasn’t doing so great either, but she seemed to have had the best time of her life. After several minutes of discourse on the stupid engineering behind steel cabinets, the sharing of several shower thoughts and children’s books she’d read growing up, it was almost as if she had finally found an outlet to unload her brain onto.
That outlet being Trystan’s poor ears. But fortunately, he was just as tipsy as her. Even worse, actually.
“Truth or Dare.”
“Hmm?” Nora hummed. “You want to play? Never knew you wanted to. Didn’t we play that -- friendly game with those wonderful people with the -- Morrigan masks? Oh they were simply fantastic. Especially that -- erm-- author fellow. And the -- woman in the pinstripe suit. Lovely people.”
“I might have -- a bit of a celebrity crush -- is that what you call them these days, I think that’s exactly what you call them -- on Freddie Mercury. And he’s dead! How on earth do you have a -- certain likeness- ishhhh towards dead people?”
“Freddie Mercury isn’t dead. He’s an urban legend. Doesn’t exist. You know, sort of like the Abominable Snowman or-- er-- those Nokia phones, for instance.” Nora speculated out loud. “My turn. I liked those Barbie things. Still do. They have this sense of humour to them.”
“That’s not very much of an appalling Truth.”
Nora sipped a bit of her drink. “Well, what’s the Truth?”
“You might not be--” Trystan guessed, completely changing the rules of the game halfway through their conversation. “You might not actually be -- human.”
“So I’m not human. That narrows down my identity considerably to archangels and dragons.”
“Those are the -- three groups of people then? Humans, archangels and dragons?”
“It is plausible. Where does fire come from? Dragons. What about the rain? The sun? The universe? Archangels. Mix them up with human innovation, like cars, cities, clothes, books, plastic--”
“I’ve never thought about --”
“-- bridges, hospitals, detective agencies, murders, buildings, furniture, planes, bicycles--”
“-- it like that.”
“-- mobile phones, music, Walkmans, Barbies, ABBA, steel, wood, iron and --”
“Queen.” Trystan prompted.
“Queen, yes.” Nora agreed.
There was a pause where they looked at each other, paused once more to exchange a smile. Nora slouched over the coffee table with the drinks on, as Trystan leaned forward as well.
“We should do something. With all this -- time.” Nora poured herself another drink. “You said so yourself. If I’m not human, nothing kills me. And what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, stronger. Just me, myself and I. Stand a little taller, doesn’t mean I’m lonely and--”
“If nothing kills you, you should walk into a pit of fire and come out unscathed.”
“What doesn’t kill you makes you a fighter.. Fighter. Fighter pilots!”
“I’ve always wanted to be one! Just--” Trystan grabbed onto some invisible joysticks in the air and tried flying quite literally, an “air”plane. Nora let out a little huff, before it escalated into polite chuckling and subsequently a full-blown uproarious laughter.
“Wasn’t he a fighter pilot?” Trystan offered. “He always knew how to dodge things. Like as if he were some master pilot aboard a Spitfire, putting down German --air-floating-things during World War 2. That would be plausible, but unfortunately he’s quite young. Not dead yet. Unlike Freddie Mercury, who’s deader than the next dead man to walk through that door.” - he pointed at the entryway.
“Who?” Nora asked.
“That man. That -- blacksmith man we chased around. What’s his name? Tim? Timothy? Timson? Tomson? Thomas?”
“Oh-- we should do that!”
“Blacksmithing? Fighter-pilot’ing?”
“Solving crimes. We’ve never done that before.”
“Of course not. I’m me. And you’re you.”
“You can’t sell yourself short. You’ve got your--- things--” Nora rotated her wrist about, “A good life. A good brain. All good things. That’s all you need anyway to live. Fifty more years of good brains, good things and then, you die. It’s practical.”
“Death. Don’t talk to me about death.”
“Bit grim?”
“Bit grim, yeah.”
“So -- sunshine. What do you like about sunshine?”
“Very -- sunshiney.” he broke into fits of laughter. “Hold on-- objection!”
“Objection? You cannot scream objection in a private argument. It’s bad behaviour.”
“Are we arguing?” Trystan asked, genuinely perplexed.
“No, but you mentioned-- something odd about death--” Nora poured herself another drink from the mysterious bottle marked “X”, like in those old 80s cartoons. “And that must mean we’re arguing. In battle. In history, they’ve got those things, right? Old monarchs. They have those rituals where -- if you do something, sign anything or scream something, you’re automatically at war with each other. A state of emergency, panic and all that.”
“No-- no. I meant something else. Objection. The word. It has all the vowels in it. O, I, E.”
“That can’t be right.” Nora grabbed a piece of paper and a handy pencil she had on the ready. In bright bold, yet squiggly handwriting, she wrote the letters: OAEBJUECKTION on it. She gazed at her own handiwork, marvelled and in a deep state of disbelief at the same time.
“My God, you are right.”
“I am, aren’t I?” Trystan took a victory sip of his mysterious green drink, draining the entire flute empty. “Now-- you were saying something about objecting and war and -- it is all a big old blur. Why don’t we go out and solve crimes?”
“It’s -- 2 --” Nora squinted at the clock. “Not sure if it is morning or evening.”
“Evening, definitely.” Trystan pointed, hazily at the window where everything had gone pitch dark.
“Great idea. Where do we go?” Nora pocketed her notepad and her pencil.
“Imagination. Best thing ever to exist.” Trystan blurted. “There must be -- something or the other going on. New York never sleeps, that’s for sure.”
“That’s Las Vegas.”
“Do you think we should have those -- names? I mean, you have wonderful names like Las Vegas and New York. Nobody’s ever thought of naming ourselves, as people.”
Nora considered it. “You’re a Thorne.”
“Yes I am.”
“And I’m a Rose.”
“Thorne-Rose. Done!” Trystan clapped his hands, victoriously.
“No! My name goes first! It's the law-- well, somewhere in the law. Modern feminism, logic, scientific reasons. You know, the thing. Things. The point is, my name goes first and that's set in stone. It's Rose-Thorne.”
“Really? T comes before R in the alphabetical order.”
“No, it goes P, Q, R, S, T. Not P, Q, T, S, R.”
“Another shower thought--” Trystan placed two fingers against the sides of his head, as if he was somehow telepathically communicating, or deducing something. “There’s no reason for the English letters to be in any order. There’s no reason for A to be before B, simply for the same reasons as to why the planets needn't--- to be ordered in a specific sequence.”
The two grabbed onto the sides of their chairs, slowly getting to their feet. Their heads hurt, as if two monkeys with cymbals each were creating a massive ruckus inside their skulls. And yet, they pressed on, like the impeccable fools they were.
“Crime-solving?”
“Crime-solving.”
A/N: Nora's a fan of ABBA. Trystan's a fan of Queen. And they're both raging bisexual idiots in Mads' Literary Universe/in my headcanon.
Thank you so much for reading! Even more thanks to Aallotar for the prompt!
This scene was also inspired by Sherlock, especially that Stag-Night episode (The Sign of Three) where Sherly and John get drunk, play Guess Who? and solve crimes like the absolute maniacs they are.
Q: Can you spot the Lucifer reference?
Tag List:
Perma: @ofmischiefandmedicine @quixoticdreamer16
Crimes : @aallotarenunelma
Sidenote, I've kind of sort of lost all my tag lists after my, shall we say, "reboot", so if you really wish to be tagged for pure garbage like this, do drop a comment or send me an ask or in whatever way you see fit. Just let me know!
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Random thought:
There’s something that felt weird abt ppl saying things like, let’s figure this out as adults, or like I’m a grown person, speak to me like a grown person.
I guess this thought came up cus mayor stupid of nyc was deflecting and he kept saying shit along those lines. “Approach me as an adult” or some shit like that. And like in this situation, the woman was rightfully angry for something that affected not just her, but a lot of fuckin ppl (Tenant rights/price increase of rent), and all due to the negligence of the fuckin government.
Anyway without getting into that , it’s on social media everywhere if u wanna see the clip that I’m talking abt. SO to my point:
Ya I guess the sentiment of like we can take care of things like adults implies that previous to that statement, things were not taken care of as adults? Or like we weren’t acting as “adults” so let’s act like “adults”?
Bc like wtf does acting like an adult vs as a kid imply?? Bc I kno wat it implies is incorrect.
I feel like generally ppl see adults as more mature, more able to control their impulses and emotions, more knowledgable (“smarter”), more experienced etc. whereas I feel like ppl think kids are chaotic, stupid, can’t control their emotions, erratic, silly, naive, etc.
Which..if this statement Implies the statement above, then ya . Like who tf made up these correlations? Literally adults are the sloppiest, dirtiest (like spiritually), manipulative, most stubborn ppl. Emotional regulation where? And in contrast I’m not saying that kids have amazing emotional regulation bc they definitely don’t, only IF they don’t have a caregiver providing them with tools to self regulate. Bc honestly I’ve met more emotionally regulated children than emotionally regulated adults. Like everyone is not regulated lol but the adults were far worse.
Even the idea of being smarter like wat does that mean. Someone who lives long has more knowledge about living than someone younger. But the thing is we all experience the world so differently within each generation. And we experience the world differently if we’re treated differently than how our parents are treated (like if the child is disabled, or adopted, or trans but parents are cis).
I think there’s equal parts of a learning exchange between adults and children. Not just the adult teaching the child but the child teaching the adult as well.
Lol anyway long ass rant here. But I guess in conclusion ppl need to stop conflating adult as superior and child as inferior. This is why kids grow up to have severely deregulated nervous systems and why they can’t emotionally regulate!!
Kids need to be respected as much as adults should be respected. And this does NOT mean treat kids the exact same as adults cus obviously that makes no sense. You’re not going to expect a child to get a job and learn how to drive at age 8 lol.
Respect just really means understanding that this being is another being, separate from you, but in that moment in relation with you, and although existing in separate bodies, you are very similar at the core. Respect is consent, it’s clear communication, listening and adapting within the relationship and honestly so much more.
Ok but anyway I’m actually done now lol I’ll reread this in the morning
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"My children will not grow up in a world where that woman exists"
Fair is fair. Percy lost literally everything to the Briarwoods. And then VM lost Vax because of them and there's the deal with the Raven Queen to consider, because yes, the Briarwoods are (were) gone, Vecna is sealed, but if this doesn't last and if they're the ones who even indirectly help Delilah back...what happens then? What were all the sacrifices for? Could they really risk put their children through what they went through?
Like, I can see Percy's point, he's not wrong.
Doesn't mean Bell's Hells won't try and I AM SO HERE FOR THIS this is the kind of stuff I love, I thought this might happen when they first asked Keyleth and I'm looking forward to the quest for Laudna's soul!
#cr spoilers#cr 3#I suppose this counts as liveblogging now#there are quite a few possibilities here and I'm very invested in this
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campaign 3 episode 36: and THAT'S MY WIFE
marisha is cute in those glasses
[screams in lovm]
that was so abrupt
I feel like I have to get this to counter the fact that I own the c1 deck from the geek&sundry days
"just wash her out with your tears"
ngl I was not expecting the concept of whitestone to hit me in the chest like this
like they're not even really IN the city yet and I can feel my heartbeat in my face
sun tree SUN TREE
whitestone, premier spring break destination
The Tree™
matthew mercer one-man show as the entirety of vox machina
"falls into step where derrig would have been" fuck you liam
what in the okami
liam: and THAT'S MY WIFE
none of us are over keyleth but liam o'brien is definitely not over keyleth
fcg. sam.
keyleth is non-denominational
"sometimes you have to meet them"
the way I can SEE keyleth aaaahhhh
"that fuck"
travis losing it in the corner
was it a "came back wrong" D:
lays in the floor
tiny de rolo??
KYNAN
Break the Moon is my indie post-punk band
…what if the two exu storylines connect over the different apogee solstices
flying city, flying balcony bar, same picture
liam is going to murder me
"that together form - " "voltron"
the clock turns into a mech
is it still the glasses with 87 lenses, we lost those in lovm but are they still canon here
CHILD
GWEN
oh there I go I'm broken
percy: [being pompous and intimidating]
playing in the back of my head: "the BUTTFLAP is DOWN"
oh they finally said the name, thank god
matt as percy is killing me
(percy as percy is killing me, knock it off you edgelord fuck)
orym: look here you hypocrite
did he roll the advantage??
the bakeryyyy
chetney
"he's very old, he could go at any moment"
"daddy the moon's haunted"
"crackpots" percival
CRIES
I was legitimately not expecting to go this feral over this
tlovm is fantastic but [gestures at the table and the faces and the reactions]
"were you here when the briarwoods were here" something like that
crying over a city
SHE 3X COMBO
I'm love her
she contains multitudes
okay okay okay okay
fearne
ashley
just a simple housewife
…oh
"she was you"
ashton: well this might as well happen
"you hear that babe? we're legends."
oh we're just doing this
delilah u whore
the way EVERY MIC just blew out
I figured that'd be percy's reaction
get his assssss
percival you edgelord fuck
taliesin looks a half second away from answering as percy at all times sdkjfs
the taliesins are fightinnnnng
"his hand goes to the side of his coat" "that's fine"
fuck him uuuuuuup
"my children will not grow up in a world where that woman exists"
oh no ashton's unsupervised
[road to el dorado voice] he's LOOSE
oh no
is ashton gonna play dominoes
"that's not eyesight" mood
I missed trinket noises
"it's a good thing he's got arthritis"
ashton literally pokes the bear
new favorite dynamic
"they're on the council though"
"pike's mine now"
ashley create pike's house in the sims
is this where she lived with scanlan
"he's a complicated man" -> "he's a prick"
(affectionate)
I enjoy that matt is using full titles; we obviously know this is vex and percy and keyleth but the hells don't, they're the Tempest and Lord de Rolo and Lady Vex'ahlia
man please imagine if liam had landed that Fuck You persuasion check
sam has played dragon age
when lady vex'ahlia shooshes you you shoosh
pike speedruns campaign 1
"we get a lot of fresh-baked goods, to be fair"
vex guest star party member??
TAKE VEX
VEX SWORD
"water"
sam riegel, forever wife guy to pike trickfoot specifically
"take a bet on my soul?!" percy's influence
fcg has a human body now a la curie from fallout 4
I wanna live, I wanna experience the universe and I wanna eat pie
vex: I KNOW he's a prick, I married him anyway
"fuck whatever THAT was"
I was never a huge pikelan person but the idea that this might be the house she shared with scanlan is still making me 🥺
excited for this dark ride at critical role land
just do it the old fashioned way dsklfjsl
ashton turn urself into an astral goldfish
"fucking clerics"
turn your back to the woods, hut, hut
dsjkhfs not the blueberry muffin
pate origin story
MAP
"I owe you a Coke"
that is Too Many
Scorching Marisha Ray
remembers the joke Matt made on twitter that his special attack is throwing his wife at people. It's the Marisha Ray.
"I would like to Win"
"that I will reroll bc I am not sam"
"if chetney dies so does christmas"
"your face looks like a butthole!"
guess about how much attention I've been paying to this combat sklfdjslds
"she's gonna know" "how will she know?" "she's gonna KNOW"
"chetney is now in campaign 4"
oh no
I was afraid of this
MATTHOLOMEW
#critical role#spoilers#crititag#liveblog#reaction post#idk if this will make it into the tags since my blog's in limbo#idk how being in blog limbo works
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This is personal and not at all 19 days related so feel free to scroll past this - personal thoughts under the cut about the current state of affairs in my country. If you’re used to my lighthearted and kind words - this isn’t for you.
I just need to get this out because I’m despondent and angry. I try so desperately to be positive and have an optimistic outlook but it’s just so hard not to drown in melancholic thoughts right now. As a woman I am so fucking tired of my body being weaponized and used for political means. Men (derogatory) have literally no business being involved in legislature of any person with a uterus and the ability to carry a child. Our wombs are not a ticking fucking timebomb. People with uteruses are not your incubators.
Forcing people to use their bodies in a fashion that is against their will is cruel, it’s evil, it’s maniacal.
The fact that a corpse - a literal corpse - has more bodily autonomy than people with uteruses is a fucking atrocity. And my heart aches for every single person that is now potentially facing a future where a means of safe healthcare may no longer be accessible to them.
The fact that we are little more than livestock is so glaringly apparent, they don’t even try to hide their contempt for us anymore. Sill, they need us. Who else can birth the resources they need? God forbid they don’t have the souls they need to fuel and feed into their war machines because we all know their children are not the casualties. It always has been the children of the impoverished and less privileged that suffer because they are expendable. We are expendable.
They go out of their way to make things like contraception, health care and knowledge prohibitively difficult to have access to and then when the inevitable happens - an unwanted pregnancy - they plan to take away one of the few options you have.
Then they act as if the decision or choice to have an abortion is one that is taken lightly. It’s so disrespectful to anyone that has ever had to make that decision to act like it’s a flippant little solution to a problem. That’s not how it’s viewed, I can assure you. And if there is a cosmic toll for aborting a fetus don’t you think there is also one for bringing a child into this world knowing that you don’t have the emotional, mental or financial means to care for them? Children do not ask to be born. Bringing a new life into this world is not a decision to be made lightly either. You’re potentially condemning a new being to a life they never asked to lead.
That’s not their concern though. All they care about is that fetus prior to its birth - the second its born into this world it’s no longer their duty to care. Should the person that is forced to birth a child seek assistance through government programs they are condemned and ridiculed by the same people that screamed - THIS IS A LIFE. Why don’t they care then once the child vacates the womb? Will those same people still defend the child if they grow up to be gay? Trans? Someone that doesn’t live up to their expectations?
Seeing all the poisonous commentary regarding the subject just weighs my heart down even further. I just don’t understand why people go out of their way to purposely make the lives of others more difficult or uncomfortable. What is the purpose? What do you gain?
It makes me weary - I don’t want to participate in society this way. I can’t help but feel this isn’t what human existence is meant to be. We’re meant to lay naked in the grass, eat berries in a sun drenched field and make love. That is the life I want.
This existence cannot be what I was meant for.
So my apologies for the bleak outlook and the venom this evening but it’s all I have in my mouth.
‘I saw its birth, I watched it grow
I felt it change me
I took the life, I ate it slow
Now it consumes me
Break down, and cease all feeling
Burn now, what once was breathing
Reach out, and you may take my heart away ‘
AFI - The Leaving Song Pt. 2
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Chal’s Concept Corner Ep 1
Welcome to Chal’s Concept Corner!
Today’s Concept: The Town of Somewheresville!
Somewheresville is a Grumpus town founded by Marco Marcopolo and his husband Dayvid Fluffington. Known for its beautiful forests, this town (and post) contains spoilers for the game Bugsnax!
What is Somewheresville?
Somewheresville is a small town located beside the beach the Grumpuses land on after the collapse of Snaktooth Island. It’s not directly beside the beach, rather several miles out. It’s a town surrounded by forest, and is the first location the Bugsnax reach due to its close proximity to the beach and plentiful hiding spots. Its varied atmospheres also aid in providing a sparkling environment for Bugsnax to thrive at. Somewheresville is known for its small population and friendly atmosphere. Similar to Snaxburg, it is self-reliant and doesn’t need help from other towns...as long as the residents work together. It’s also the hometown of my primary OC, Carina Cuddlewarmth! Tiny woman needed a home.
Although Somewheresville is small, it’s often seen as a dream location due to its friendly locals, lush forest, and rich culture. Almost nobody knows of Somewheresville’s existence, but those who do speak positively of it. Many Grumpuses have moved here to escape reality, and have somewhat found success in doing so. As of currently, Somewheresville isn’t 100% aware of the Bugsnax infection that’s slowly overtaking the surrounding forest. Only a handful of residents have discovered the strange creatures, with most choosing to hide their existence. It’s only a matter of time before the existence of Bugsnax becomes known.
Somewheresville has a clock tower alongside a large park used for social gatherings in the center of its build, with various custom houses dotting the area. Each one is built to the residents specific standards. There are certain, base locations such as a café, but they’re often built directly beside or within the home of whichever resident owns it. The best example is the Light Blossom Café, which is built directly beside the owner’s home. Unique locations include…
Snax Park.
The Light Blossom Café.
Serenity Hospital.
Various stores such as The Fast Cake, which sells pastries and...you guessed it, cakes.
Broken Heart Repair.
Just A Gym.
...and more!
How was it founded?
Somewheresville was founded roughly 100 years ago by Marco Marcopolo and Dayvid Fluffington. Back in the day, being openly gay was considered a disgrace and a sin. Marco and Dayvid were eventually disowned by their families after both parties realized their children were gay. Instead of drifting into despair, the two left their hometown and founded their own town. It was to be a place of acceptance, a place of refuge for all Grumpuses who were being mistreated due to this or any other issue.
They came up with the name Somewheresville on the spot, because the legal paperwork required a functional name for the location. So Marco simply based the name off of Dayvid’s statement before proposing the idea of making a town. The statement was, quote, “I just wish we could find somewhere to live.” So...they made somewhere to live. They made Somewheresville. I based the name Somewheresville off of what Shelda stated about being from ‘Nowheresville’. Although she may not have meant it literally, this IS a game where people are called Wiggle Wigglebottom.
Over the years, the hatred towards such things declined and society became more accepting. Each year, the founders of Somewheresville found their joy growing. It didn’t matter that their town became more distant, what mattered was that people were finally finding joy in being who they wanted to be. Somewheresville reminded a quiet and calm place, and they welcomed all who entered. Not only those seeking help, but instead people who just wanted to visit. Eventually, Somewheresville cut itself off from the outside world entirely.
Who lives there?
The following is a list of all the Grumpuses I’ve designed to live in this small town! I don’t have artwork of them yet, as I’m saving up the money. I’m also willing to add whoever would like to make this place their official home for lore reasons. Beautiful place, totally not infected and becoming the first Undersnax expansion.
Marco Marcopolo.
This sucker is still alive, being the oldest Grump there at 112. He is the mayor of Somewheresville.
Lampton Lightwarmth.
Runs the Light Blossom Café. Came here with his daughter after his wife died in hopes of clearing his mind.
Carina Cuddlewarmth.
Unsure of what she truly wants to be, and is still learning the hopes of socializing. Came here with her father after her mother died.
Pathen Voidtune.
Delivers mail, but wants to grow up to be a ‘bad guy killer’. Forced to stay here after his parents died. Wants to become a ‘super hero’ like his favorite comic book characters after they lost their parents.
Jansim Sillytunnel.
Training to become the new Journalist, trying to get GNN to hire them. Simply here chasing rumors of Bugsnax and their little brother.
Chrismond Fursmoke.
Famous boxer who injured his spine during a fight, now a famous author. Came with his transgender wife to settle down and avoid larger crowds due to anger management issues.
Lindjory Loveglory.
Famous sprinter, now a simple doctor. Came with her husband to help him learn to manage his anger management. Can still run several miles in high heels and will not hesitate to do so.
Jayvis Thinkalot.
Literally a child. No thoughts behind those eyes other than crypid violence. The adopted child between Chrismond and Lindjory.
Edytha Brookewater.
Nobody is sure if she simply hated the spotlight, or if she only did it to help her moms medical bills. Simply here to avoid the spotlight.
Terrev Readmanner.
Librarian who writes down everything. Followed Chrismond in hopes of inspiration in a clear forest for writing.
Kipley Skullshrink.
A engineer whos experiments all seem to blow up, she wants to become a real scientist. Restricted to a wheelchair, Somewheresville was the best place to live that accepted loud explosions and had wheelchair access.
Torianne Mountainwind.
A baker who hides their true job of stealing with baked goods. This place originally had no police, so she took it as a quick buck earning job. Sadly, now they’re attached.
Norlenn Bottlemerchant.
Unemployed asshole. His parents forced him to move to Somewheresville after it became clear he was a spoiled brat. Still a brat.
Vechie Monthlove.
Police officer of the town. Marco asked her personally to come aid with the recent explosion of new Grumpuses, and an old friend had to help out.
Sylvella Bonedance.
Local medium and psychic, communicating with ‘spirits’ to get the answer. States she was attached to Somewheresville due to the overwhelming influence of spirits that found it just as peaceful.
JayKay.
A researcher who originally lived on Snaktooth Island. She sported a rare reaction to eating Bugsnax. By the time she barely escaped the island over 10 years ago, her mind had been completely lost. She can only remember her first name. Now just a hobo who walks the streets looking for sticks to collect and feed to her old friend.
Buddy!
It’s unconfirmed if this Grumpus even exists. They’re a crypid often seen stalking the woods, watching over JayKay from the depths.
And that’s everything! Thanks for stopping by for this mega concept post, folks!
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Firstlife chapter 23
Today’s review might be difficult for some; reader discretion is advised
Click to see the rest of the snark & image descriptions
Chapter 23
“Ten! I’m so glad you’re okay. I knew something was wrong when your dad refused to give me the name and address of the boarding school you were supposedly attending, but I had no idea...not until the girl, Elena, came to see me.”
In the wake of the Lori Vallow sentencing (woman who murdered her children and then ran off to Hawaii), I’m thinking about how odd that the entire thing must have seemed to the Lockwood’s friends and extended family. Like where is the girl, Mr. L? Why can’t you produce her?
I’m wondering why nobody called the police about the entire thing. But then again, maybe stuff like CPS doesn’t exist in a world where a parent can decide to ship his child off to a place that routinely canes, waterboards, and poisons literal children.
She sprays something clear into the wound and the bleeding stops. With the glass in front of her—the light illuminating my hip—she picks up what looks to be a pair of tweezers and slips the tips inside my wound. Again, there’s no pain, but I do feel pressure.
So six years ago, I had a really big cyst grow on my hip. (Which wow, the placement of the chip in Ten is 100% NOT LOST ON ME) I ended up going to a dermatologist near me who numbed me up, and made an incision. That part didn’t hurt.
But you want to know what fucking hurt like the motherfucking dickins? Her poking around and squeezing all of the puss out from the cyst.
So yeah. I’m calling bullshit. This was written by somebody who has never once experienced anything similar in their life.
“A drug,” she explains. “We call it Special K.”
Okay, so I’m down with the entire “the future technology tracking chip has an anti-kill switch”. But what’s confusing me is that this tiny microchip Ten didn’t even know was in her hip has drugs in it.
Like after a few hours of timed release, it would be FUCKING EMPTY.
“You died,” she repeats, and I’m not sure she’s talking to me or to herself. “I killed you. I’m sorry.” Then she slams the tip of her paintbrush into my jugular.
Chapter 23 summary: Killian takes Ten to her Aunt Lina’s house, as promised. He says he has to go destroy the car, but that he’ll find her again. Lina takes Ten into a shed out back, which is described as “looking like a serial killer’s heaven”. She straps Ten onto a table, and says that the chip can have a reaction. After looking over Ten’s body to find the site, she determines that it’s in Ten’s hip, and starts trying to pull it out.
But Ten does indeed have a reaction, and… If you’ve ever seen Good Place with Michael trying to press the button and kill Janet, then it’s kind of like that. “No no, I need it in me! If you take it out, then I’ll die!” But the second that Lina actually takes it out, Ten is like “Dafaq?” The book tries to explain this, but the half-assed explanation somehow makes the entire thing worse. Willing to accept magical future technology, but the drug is confusing.
Seconds after that, Lina shoves Ten into a hole in the floor. They can hear people moving around violently above, and Ten knows that her time there is up. They walk through a wet tunnel, and Ten feels physically ill with the idea that they might be walking around in used toilet water. Which… same.
They come up in another house where there are several people who are strung out on whatever drug. Lina makes them change, although since they were wet– regardless of what was in that water– Ten doesn’t argue.
However, as they’re leaving, Lina seems to snap. She starts saying all of this stuff about “I was so sad when you died!” in a voice like she’s 5 years old. She then stabs Ten in the neck with a paintbrush she randomly grabbed. And I’d like to go on the record and say that this would have been better if the author hadn’t flat out told us about Ten’s death in a drug house a while ago.
#Firstlife#Everlife series#Chapter 23#shitty parents are shitty#what the fuck#Tenley 'Ten' Lockwood#Lina Lockwood#bad writing is bad#What Is Happening
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March 5th 2022
8:05 pm
Sometimes I wonder why this world has so many ups and downs. Like maybe my fear of things is not coming into my life, fast enough.
Today I am 22 years old, (Happy Birthday to me) and I feel like I do enough things correctly. I go to work and go to school. I live in an apartment and I am trying to build my credit so I can finally get a new car. A 2022 Ford Bronco. And yet, there is something still empty in me.
I work at a daycare and I see all the children grow. The babies, the toddlers, and the little kids. And it is something I dream of one day. Having rich people's money and dropping them off at school in my classy, clean car. Then I go to work.
I don't want to work. I want to shop. And do pilates. And eat brunch with my friends. But I am not a white woman. So I have to work. And I am too poor for kids.
I also don't want to have kids until I'm married. Because for some reason everyone my age only wants to fuck. Literally. They don't even go on dates anymore. And a date is not hanging out at someone's house or having 'cuddle sessions' whatever the hell that is. Because you know what, that is utterly disgusting. Do people not know that germs and diseases exist? HPV, HIV, STDs, I know all the abbreviations. And somehow, all the 20-something-year-olds are all dogs. Maybe they just don't like me. Are they intimidated by me? I have also been told I have a mean face, wtf does that mean? I wouldn't have a mean face if people didn't stare at me so much.
I also went to the thrift store today and I bought a good amount of clothes, but none of the goddamn bras fit, which is super annoying because why don't they fit'? The struggle of being a small chested lil girl.
I keep wanting to feel like this feminine energy, queen, which I know I am, but somehow I still feel lost. Like where is the meaning? Where is the "you did it"? I think it will come when I graduate college and get my "high paying, dream job" that is corollated with my major, but interestingly enough I have to wait to graduate. Wait to mean, finish all the damn semesters left and get good grades so I don't have to retake the class. Then I have to finish taking all the classes I need to take and hope they don't cancel any of them, and remove them from the catalog, forcing me to get something else. Why is it so hard to graduate, I'd rather just take on a big tests, instead of showing up to each class, week after week. Oh well, I guess.
I'm just going to finish watching Euphoria.
Goodnight.
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rant number2
I've been very very lonely very lonely. I don't see my friends enough I don't even really feel like anyone actually likes me I feel like I'm a problem in the world. I also broke up with my boyfriend 8 months ago because he made some racist comments for getting that he sticks his dick in a black and brown girl. And that made me really sad because that always seems to be the issue with the reasons why I break up with most of my boyfriends because they're low-key racist.
I'd like to think I have a fantastic personality my brain is filled with lots of knowledge skills and facts and movies and shows and books but no one finds me interesting. People tell me that I'm intimidating wow what a fucking great compliment that makes me feel fantastic. I am a woman and I just want to be treated as a woman I want to be told that I'm beautiful I want somebody to be like hey babe I was thinking about you I bought you flowers hey there's this really cool restaurant would you like to go check it out hey I saw this today and I thought you would like it I bought it for you. Hey I know you like to just go sit on the beach and paddle board so I rented a some paddle boards. But no I am single I have no prospects no one finds me interesting and it comes to a point where you start questioning your own existence.
I have body dysmorphia so the first thing I question is oh my God I'm fat and disgusting ew look at the stretch marks on my belly that came out of nowhere I never even have children it's kind of embarrassing. Oh maybe because I don't shave my arms and I look like a hairy beast oh maybe it's my nose I'm not your your your eurocentric kind of looking girl. And I know that most people don't care about that shit that's just shit that's in my head from growing up in the early 2000s in a shitty world. And the only man who are attracted to me are either over 60 who think I'm going to be there perfect little pretty house wife that keeps my mouth shut or they're 25 years old and makes me feel like an old behemoth in my thirties who can't find anyone in her age group to date because they all have that early 2000s mentality where they have this like perfect girl in their minds that's like their mom with the worst expectations in women and I can't even deal with having a conversation with them. I'm Literally in fucking limbo.
my worst fear is having a relationship with someone who's exactly like my dad who's literally the worst human being I have ever met and I've met some shitty ones in my time. I would rather die old and single although it would be wonderful to have someone to do things with while all my friends around me are getting married having kids moving in with boyfriends making milestones and I'm like a kid still living with my parents in my thirties with four cats. I'm a fucking stereotype. I'm feeling defective like there's something wrong with me. I'm really pushed for my two friends to start dating and now I'm just a fucking fart in the wind no one calls me they act like I live this extremely busy life when really I just go to work and come home but the both of them are consistently texting smelling each other's farts live together but they can't go out to dinner with me and their other roommate who were all friends with great job. My friend also won't go to the beach with us anymore or water parks or adventures go with their boyfriend and leave the rest of us home. In fact They went to the Renaissance Fair and didn't even tell me so I could request off and go and I've never been a little really have the worst people in my life
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