#'if i survive 3 hours without anything happening then im fine' type logic
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having one of those stay-up-ridiculously-late-to-make-sure-we're-not-dying type of nights
#my mug i drank like 2 sips out of smelled like mildew#so i think there mightve been mold growing inside of it 😬#nothing appeared wrong on the outside but I'm wondering if it has holes in it that cant really be seen and water got trapped inside of it#anyway theres really no logical way for me to have consumed a harmful amount of mold#like. at all.#i took 2 sips before realizing something was off. my tea tasted fine. it was the mug that smelled bad#and yet here we are at 4 am#one panic attack later#'if i survive 3 hours without anything happening then im fine' type logic#ocd 😀#i guess i can blame my ocd for this idk#whatever who cares#im doing better just sleepy now#// unsanitary#is that how you tag triggers#idk#just felt like i needed to add that#because personally reading this kind of thing is enough to make me freak out/extremely uncomfortable#off topic (but not really) but damn i wish i properly knew what having ocd and anxiety meant when i was 10.#i wish little kid me had the words for how she was feeling#i wish i was diagnosed with ocd much earlier in life#but i couldnt have known any better#mine
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