#🕷DARLENE THE SPIDER QUEEN 🕷 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bitofthisandthat · 2 years

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“Lookit all the mooks that are out n’ about after a year of bein’ silent. Looks like I have to get the place looking show-room ready. And by showroom ready I mean, I gotta get my webs in order. Ha-HA!

Get it? ‘Cause yer all in big trouble.”

#open rp #🕷DARLENE THE SPIDER QUEEN 🕷#V: GRAVITY FALLS VORTEX #{ Of course all you GF muses pop up and she's ready to party....and be gross }#{ I'm in bed but yeah grab if you want }

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bitofthisandthat · 5 years

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Toon!Town AU || Hammerspace & Designer Coffee

This verse applies to ONLY:

Negaduck

Morgana Macawber*

Gabby McStabberson*

Ponyhead

Lily Bovine

Darlene the Spider Queen

Kim Possible

Francine Smith

*added 10/19

NB: [ MTL muses, Sinbad muses & Avatar muses ] are NOT in this AU, despite being animated characters. They are way more “realistic” and have strong human ties despite their supernatural leanings.

゜・。。・゜☆゜・。。・゜☆ ゜・。。・゜☆ ゜・。。・゜ In this version of the WFRR concept, the above “toons” are merged with the human/normal world, and are known “stars” from more than their shows. They also contribute to their spin-off comics, and other pending projects, social media, and of course, public appearances. Another BIG difference from the WFRR Toon-Town world, is that they are NOT owned by their studio/human agent, and are NOT property. They can move freely in their own toon world and into each others’ worlds too. So when an episode or issue is done for the day, they go back to their normal lives and hang with whatever toon from whichever franchise they choose. With some exceptions, as Adult Toons (not po.rn, adult comedy) and Anime Toons often snub other toon types. But it’s not unheard of that a WB toon is dating or married to an Adult or Anime toon. So, species do cross from time to time.

However, they are stuck as themselves in recognition and casting, since toons are made to play a single part or kind of character. IE: Negaduck is forever a villain, Kim Possible is forever a hero. Most of their traits are built into what they are, so they can NEVER change. Child toons, stay children as well. There’s no “Adult brain stuck in a child’s body” unless the toon is written that way: IE: Babydoll and Stewie Griffin. So yes, Dora the Explorer is a true child forever.

They experience normal lives and emotions off the studio lots and set, but their personalities and interests remain the same, maybe just watered down A LITTLE here and there to be civil, but overall they’re the same person. For instance, if the line in St.arbucks is taking too long, and he’s losing patience because the customers in front of him are all ordering complicated drinks when ALL HE WANTS “IS A VENTI BLACK TO GO!!”, Negaduck will whip out a chainsaw from hammerspace and “urge” the line and barristas to speed it up.

Most of the above toons have long standing shows/franchises to keep them active, but for one-shots like Darlene, her career is completely dependent on being a fill-in monster/comedy role for other toons’ shows. She has fluctuated between her monster self and human-glamorized self in various past roles. “Gravity Falls” employed a lot of old monster/horror toons that were big stars in the past, so staring on the show was like a who’s-who of old school horror toons and comics. Darlene is a seasoned pro, from “Tales from the Crypt” and “Creepshow.” But her jobs nowadays consist of random cameos.

Ponyhead is part of several franchises, not just SVTFOE; all on educational or small children series’, pulling double shift on ML.P and other unicorn themed shows. ( Unicorns are ALWAYS in demand ) so when she got her role on SVTFOE, she was ecstatic to finally play a role that was more mature and dealt with darker (albeit funny) material. She actually tones herself down for both SVTFOE and her small children's programs, in reality, she’s way more adult-minded.

Francine Smith has the longest standing active series out of everyone listed, ( 2005-present ) and hasn’t had to deal with the impending doom & fear that a toon goes through when their show is cancelled. And she is also part of the “Triad” from all of Seth McFarlene’s animated projects. She gets job offers to intermingle with other Adult Toons, like: ALL of Matt Groenings’ creations, “Rick & Morty”, “Archer”, “Bob’s Burger’s”, and old school shows like “Daria,” “King of the Hill,” “Beavis & Butthead”, “Dr. Katz” and “Home Movies,” etc. Adult Toons, (not to be confused with XXX toons and anime) are apart from every other class of toon. Often they are SO protected by the studios and treated as if they are almost human, that they have their own cliques and often don’t associate with other types of toons. It’s considered a downgrade to socialize, or God forbid, date a toon from another class.

Lily Bovine had a short, but successful stint on Saturday morning TV, which used to be the holy grail of toondom. Only “royalty” had Saturday morning slots. She ( and her cast mates ) were led to believe that they were riding high and were going to skyrocket as high as their fellow studio/comic mates, the TMNTs. So, as toons, they were in a constant, intense state of their characterizations, in a place called “toon bliss.” It’s a dangerous state many toons have fallen victim to, where they are so elated that they are popular, that they fail to see the danger of “sudden death cancellation.” There are countless Toons that have been very popular for 1-2 seasons, but were cancelled on a spree, with no warning.

Her series was promised more comics and more seasons, but was cancelled suddenly during a hostile studio takeover where the new CEO wanted to focus on HIS material only. ( Mike Eisner/Disney ) The sudden destruction of her show/comic sent her and her fellow Moo Mesa cast-mates into a tail spin, and all suffered a stasis. They were isolated and forced to stay among fellow toons, and forbidden to interact with normals. ( akin to a toon going mad and needing to be in asylum to “rest” )

However, since Lily IS part of the same company that TMNT belong to as well, they decided to repair their state of existence, and the Moo Mesa crew have been partially revived among the TMNT franchise, so she is no longer in a state of confusion.

Kim and Negaduck are part of the same group ( The Disney, WB, & DW triad ) so they never had to fear loss like Lily or even Darlene. However, since both their shows and comics ended, they still struggle with being eternally stuck in the Hero/ Villain state. Neutral, “normal seeming” or filler characters never suffer the way Extreme Hero and Villain types do. Kim is stuck in her perfectionist state and if she doesn’t have a series or comic that is active, she becomes self destructive. She can only wind down if she has some outlet. She has made-do with stunt work for other toons that have action sequences or need a double. She’s been begging to be written into the Marvel or DC animated worlds, rallying that cause for herself for years. But they won’t allow her in, because they don’t think she can make the leap from teen hero to dark and gritty. Plus, Kim sees how Marvel toons are losing their Comic Rights and their characters are being “altered”, so she is growing terrified of them anyway.

Toons that are “alerted” to fit new audiences or eras suffer a great deal; it’s like performing an operation without anesthetic, and many toons are never the same nor can they remember much of who they were once they are “flipped” and redone. Jem, Sh.e-Ra.h and other redos are half-mad off set now.

Negaduck stays active in the comic world, as do ALL the duck people in the Disney arcs. But he has been scheming and fighting to get his OWN show at last, this time where he is the star and it’s from his perspective. ( Not DWD ) In real life, Villains and their Hero counterparts cannot live without each other’s rivalry. So they may not fist fight like in their shows, but off set they argue and get into each other’s business. The same can be said about every Villain vs. Hero or Princess vs. Evil Queen, etc. etc. Like Extreme Hero toons, VILLAINS cannot change who they are, so if they are not given an outlet, they can become very dangerous, moreso than their roles on screen or on paper. Negaduck has been put “in the cooler” many times since the late 90′s when even his comic appearances weened.

#💣NEGADUCK 💣#💋LILY BOVINE 💋#🕷DARLENE THE SPIDER QUEEN 🕷#📟KIM POSSIBLE 📟#💖LILACIA PONYHEAD 💖#🦇MORGANA MACAWBER 🦇#V: HAMMERSPACE & DESIGNER COFFEE || TOON TOWN AU #{This just the basic rundown of everyone in this verse; more details as things come to me of course. And if they are actually played out~}#{SO LONG and under a cut becuase I included info about all of them ^^ TOO long but details needed}#💄FRANCINE SMITH💄#🗡️GABBY MCSTABBERSON 🗡️

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bitofthisandthat · 5 years

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What Type Of Witch Are You?

REPOST, DO NOT REBLOG!

ASAMI

Eclectic Witch

You are an eclectic witch. An eclectic refuses to be pinned down to one tradition. They embrace everything that appeals to them and define their own path.

DARLENE

Luciferian Witch

You are a Luciferian witch. Lucifer is often mistakenly identified as the Devil due to the belief that, as an angel, he fell from God’s grace. Yet among many, he is revered as the ‘bringer of light,’ the path to enlightenment, independence, and progression. Luciferians are avid supporters of the arts, science, and the natural world.

Tagged by: @somniaxperdita Tagging: I AM TOO LAZY. Grab it and go yo!

#🕷DARLENE THE SPIDER QUEEN 🕷#HEADCANON || ASAMI #HEADCANON || DARLENE #{Are we at ALL surprised?? BOTH are accurate af}#{Darlene's like 'Nah I know what the fuck I'm aligned with you're all pussies'}#{Luciferians are also avid supporters of cursing anyone they disagree with but the test maker was BIASED I see.}#🛠️ASAMI SATO🛠️

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bitofthisandthat · 3 years

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@Darlene: What are your favourite kinds of food to eat, insects, humans, or otherwise? Do you have to worry about health concerns, like cholesterol levels, as much as humans do? Also, do you store food for later on, like during the winter months, in refrigerators or webs?

"Insects? What the FU---"

"You're a regular stereotype-r ain't ya? Not afraid to offend people that can gut you like a salmon on a rock durin' spawnin' season. The only flyin' pests I eat are fairies and pixies because it's like eating pure sugar and flavored vodka together, and I gotta have something go down easy when I'm mixin' my drinks after dinner.

I mean, I ate a brown bear in one sitting, hon. It took me all day, but I figured, HEY! It's Thanksgivin' and I deserve it."

"Humans are just easiest to catch, but unlike large game and magic types, they do have 'connections' to the outside world, and humans always come lookin' for other humans when they go missin'. That makes it more of a pain in the ass, but, eh.

See, no one gives a flip in the magic world if, say, a cluster of nighthawk pixies fly unwittingly into my web because they're too fuckin' stupid to see it. Unicorns taste like crap, only reptile-types wanna go after those oil spills...Nymphs and elves are tricky...they always put up a fight. BUT. Sometimes they lose. And one o' those suckas' keeps me and my kind fed for damn near a year, so we try and spread it out between feedings. Humans and mortal wildlife are basically more available. But more obvious when they get caught. Ya read me?

By the waaaay...why the HELL are ya so interested in my eatin’ habits? Are ya some kinda FREAK or somethin’? Yeesh.”

#Hey Nony Nonny #asks #🕷DARLENE THE SPIDER QUEEN 🕷#{ WELL no more anons for you Darlene for awhile so no worries~}

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bitofthisandthat · 3 years

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@Darlene: Do you prefer the warmer months because they’re a better time of year for you to lure tourists in? Does the cold or heat bother you?

"I ‘prefer’ the warmer months because I can get ample food caught and ready to store FOR the wintah' if that's what you're gettin' at.

But, ya know--spiders are active year round, chicky."

"And my tourist joint can be flipped into a ski resort if I'm in short supply and lackin’ company. Hence, my sky buckets. Ya know the difference between a hack and a real business mogul? Ya don’t plan on the fly and think in little bites at a time. You plan ahead and see it through, even if the money don’t always flow in so good. Unlike SOME of my so-called competitors,” She hacks out a terrible, smoker’s cough--StanleyPines--” COUGH. COUGH. COUGH. “I do a damn good job buildin’ up MY legacy, bub.”

#Hey Nony Nonny #asks #🕷DARLENE THE SPIDER QUEEN 🕷

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bitofthisandthat · 3 years

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“Everyone thinks just ‘cause I TAWK like this I gotta be stupid?”

“Nah-uh. Try again, ya peons. I’m 300 years old an’ I seen a lotta garbage. Plus, these euphemisms and accent ain’t mine. I gotta stomach it for another 5 years or so...shouldn’ta ate so many mobsters...ah well, live and learn!”

#🕷DARLENE THE SPIDER QUEEN 🕷#{ She went Rambo on that mob meeting but she runs a clean and neat operation and she doesn't tolerate messy guests XD }#{ Makes sense because the second a spider's web gets too messy or ruined; they move and make a new one. }#{ The ones that stay in a bug filled web are ones too full and tired to move just yet }

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bitofthisandthat · 3 years

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@Darlene: You may be the self-proclaimed QUEEN of all spiders, but have you ever met their KING? Would you accept him as your partner or make a man into one if the right kind of fellow came along? I heard that after some female spiders find their mates and do the you-know-what with them, they eat the male spider to have energy for the egg laying and the kids…would you do that?

"Ohhhhhhh lookie here! We have a regular SCiEN-tis-T in our presence! Should I bow down and let ya dissect me?? OOOH perhaps I should let you put me between two pieces of glass and look under a big stupid tube at me and condescend how much ya know everything there is to know about SPIDERS.

Asshole."

“Look. I’m gonna let you in on a little cultural journey into my people’s world: We don’t have kings. We don’t really got queens. I EARNED that name, damnit, because I am the baddest bitch in my territory. And we don’t eat our men, because who the hell would watch the fuckin’ kids while we go out huntin’ and trappin’ stupid mortals and humans for food and profit? Someone has to earn that bread while the brats are running amok eatin’ all the fairies and gnomes in sight, not controllin’ their web reflex and makin’ a mess out of everything. It’s a livin’ hell in our society when we’re rearing brats. It’s why we gals only do it like, 2 times a lifetime. Plus, we live so long anyway we don’t need to procreate as much as regular bugs and humans.

OH! One more thing, dipshit? We don’t eat each other unless we’re makin’ a power play for leadership or someone is just an asshole and we want ‘em dead already...We taste TERRIBLE by the way. Also, we don’t mate for life, we don’t give a shit about ‘community.’ We stick to small bands and clans, but we stay the hell outta each other’s lives unless we know we’re in collective danger, and THEN we band together and do something about the intruders. Otherwise, it’s every spidah for themselves.”

#Hey Nony Nonny #asks #🕷DARLENE THE SPIDER QUEEN 🕷#HEADCANON || DARLENE #{ Sorry for her bitch mouth. She hasn't been punched enough in the face to be nicer }

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bitofthisandthat · 3 years

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Darlene if you live in Oregon where did that east coast accent come from? Did you move out west?

"Nah, I've always been out here. My particular clan pretty much roosts from the bottom o’ Alaska down to the Northern trek o’ California? A year ago I just ate like, 32 mobstah's that flew in from Jersey for a secret meetin' in my neck o' the woods. They tipped well and paid me triple the meetin’ room was worth, but they left a mess of their hotel rooms. I hadda make an example outta those mooks. Then I had some of underlings sell their cars and switch their plates. Not like anyone woulda noticed. They WERE in the mob and therefore, off the grid."

"But yeah, it's this dumb side-effect thing. I eat enough o' one kinda person, and I absorb their tendencies for awhile. You shoulda seen me back in 1890's when I ate like, 12 and 3 trappers prospectors for trespassin' too close to my nest after just layin’ eggs there. Oh man, I wanted to shoot myself in the face after that stint o' talkin' like a high pitched, toothless asshole.”

“10 outta 10, don't recommend."

#Hey Nony Nonny #asks #🕷DARLENE THE SPIDER QUEEN 🕷#HEADCANON || DARLENE #{ Yeah that's an ollllllllld headcanon nony }

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bitofthisandthat · 3 years

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@Darlene the Spider Queen: What were you up to during the events of Weirdmageddon? Was it satisfying to see humans suffering so much under it, or did you experience hardship from it as well?

“Oh NooOOooooOOOOOooo whatd’I do durin’ WeirdmaGEDDON it was so scary!” She razzes obscenely loud and long at this one. “Stupid. If mortals and humans got any stupider they’d fall off the planet. I don’t care what they did durin’ that time. I ain’t some grudge-keeper. That’s for boring people with no self control and too much time on their hands. I got shit to do.”

“Please, I did what any smart monstah would do. I morphed into my most BEAUTIFUL form, voila! And I fettered in with all the other ugly humps and one-eyed weirdos, and I fit right in! It’s not hard.”

“Only draw back when I got in range of one o’ those radioactive showah’s? I went FULL on spider-Godzilla. Or...is it Mothera...? Ya know, cause I’m a bug. Anyway, Potato-potato-ah, I was a giant spider monstah after day 3, and I pretty much reigned supreme in the eastern half o’ the cedar forest. That place was CAKED and covered with my webbing. Nothin’ and I mean NOTHIN’ got outta there alive. I had full control o’ all the little spidahs. But after the big boom and all those alien freaks gettin’ sucked into the time continuum or somethin’? My kingdom reverted back to normal and lo and behold, so did I.

Eh- heh, hey--”

“Psssst...I ate A LOT o’ those flying eyeball-bat things. I couldn’t help it! They kept flyin’ into my webs, and Spidahs don’t waste a fuckin’ thing. They tasted like sea salt, olives and vodka. MAN that was a party.”

#Hey Nony Nonny #asks #Spider cw #🕷DARLENE THE SPIDER QUEEN 🕷#HEADCANON || DARLENE #{ THANK you Nonny! This trash bish never gets to come out and play as much as she used to. XD I always pick the nasty grosky muses }#{ It's so ironic / dumb I have to tag A SPIDER MUSE as spider for people but eh I spoil you all. }

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bitofthisandthat · 3 years

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📜 ( Stan & Darlene )

Send in 📜 and I’ll use this incorrect quotes generator using your muse and my muse.

[ CLOSED! ]

STANLEY: Do you have any skeletons in your closet? DARLENE: You mean literally or figuratively? STANLEY: Honestly, the fact that I have to specify...

@gamblealife

#gamblealife #asks #Incorrect Quote Meme!#C: Stan Pines ( gamblealife )#🕷DARLENE THE SPIDER QUEEN 🕷#V: GRAVITY FALLS VORTEX

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bitofthisandthat · 3 years

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“Oh no! A giant boot, my only weakness!”

“Also a newspaper or a large glass would be pretty bad too.”

#🕷DARLENE THE SPIDER QUEEN 🕷#spider cw #{ Still my favorite dumbass joke in that ep XD }

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bitofthisandthat · 3 years

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@gamblealife said: "I'll admit- This looks bad." ( & Imma throw in Stan for Darlene. u3u )

** villain / hero sentence starters

“I’m just standin’ over here wonderin’ why the man I almost made my blue-plate special is back at my WAY better Attraction with WAY better payin’ custa’mers, breakin’ and enterin’ in the middle of broad daylight like I won’t know what’s goin’ on. What parta’ MEGA SPIDER monstah’ that can sense intruders JUST by all her ‘mysterious’ powers don’t you get, Staaaaaaanley? ” She gave a hoarse chuckle as she took ONE step forward, still maintaining her human glamour. “I mean, how DUMB can ya get?”

“It’s like ya want me ta’ end ya this time. Which for me, is okay considerin’ ya left my entrance lobby in shambles and owe me 53 hundred bucks in sky-bucket damages. Not ta mention ya left me on an empty stomach.”

#gamblealife #asks #C: Stan Pines ( gamblealife )#🕷DARLENE THE SPIDER QUEEN 🕷#V: GRAVITY FALLS VORTEX #{ IDC I love this one-shot bitch }#{ She wakes up to gloat at the fellow con that got away XD }

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bitofthisandthat · 3 years

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“Ooooh~ ya gotta love SKI season out here in the boonies! Ya’d think the cold and snow mixed in wit’ th’ death-defyin’ height of THIN mountain primordial air and permafrost would stop th’ STUPID city people from touristin’ but....no. Not really.”

“And I got the whole LODGE chic thing goin’ on so it’s also cash money.” You know...before she zeroes in on the lone idiots and tricks them into a snow-shoe hike offsite...

#🕷DARLENE THE SPIDER QUEEN 🕷#shorties #short opens #{ YEAH they finally showed her ep XD she's always here but she hates people so }

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bitofthisandthat · 4 years

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“AHHH! Witches are everywhere!!

It’s like a freakin’ infestation of bonfires and terrible music in tha’ woods and ugly naked broads running around cacklin’ and litterin’ on the campgrounds all. Damn. Week! I’m losin’ my FREAKIN’ mind!”

“I HATE this time a’ year in tha’ Falls. I hate it! I hate it! I hate it! That damn Hand-witch and her clan is takin’ people again! With her bad breath, yellow teeth and finger stealin’ magic! Ahhhhhhhhh! This is my TURF, baby! How’s a gal supposed ta’ hunt properly with this kinda crap goin’ on!?!”

Also. She hates how her webs are harvested for ceremony spells. RUDE.

#🕷DARLENE THE SPIDER QUEEN 🕷#V: GRAVITY FALLS VORTEX #FC: Jennifer Coolidge #shorties #short open #rp #{ I can switch to her canon TOON face too; sometimes live is easier pfft }#{ Witches are everywhere Dar...including this blog you superstitious 300 yr old beast }

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bitofthisandthat · 4 years

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“Ain’t no one a cryptid like ME, baby.”

“It allllll checks out. BOOM. Look at that.”

#dash commentary #Spiders #Spider #🕷DARLENE THE SPIDER QUEEN 🕷#{ Yeah I gotta tag y'all arachnophobia for one my muses XD }#{ Darlene it is way too late for you to be waking up MY GOSH }

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bitofthisandthat · 5 years

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“I do have SOME preferences, I won’t pursue just ANYBODY.”

“No joke. I won’t bother with skinw.alkers ‘cause they taste GROSS and aren’t inta’ datin’ n’ kissin’ anyway, so hows’ a girl supposed to go after that? Creepin’ up on people’s roofs and knockin’ on their doors at 3 am, scarin’ the kids at bedtime with their fancy night vision goggles? Nah. I don’t have time for that. Also. I don’t do Gnomes. Gnomes get stuck in ya’ teeth. And they are waaaaaay too much inta’ pine monkeys. AKA: Tree rats. AKA: Squirrels. Double gross.”

#🕷DARLENE THE SPIDER QUEEN 🕷#dash commentary #shorties #short opens #{ She's the worst. Not PH. }#{ Yeah go for it I guess XD }

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