THIS BLOG IS OFFICIALLY ARCHIVED.

( hey, it’s livi! i know it has been a while, but after deliberating over it for a bit, i decided to archive this blog just because i happen to associate it with lots of bad memories and needed a fresh start in order to really enjoy writing her again. 

with that in mind, i decided to remake her blog, so you can now find vivian over here, complete with a retconned bio. ofc, you are by no means required to follow, as i know i haven’t really been the most active even before my hiatus, but if you are still interested in interacting with vivian, then that’s where i’ll be from now on! )

( not sure if dumblr would even let me show up in the tags, but provided you wouldn’t mind interacting with a fandomless oc, who is an eccentric girl and self proclaimed ‘manly heroine’ by the name of vivian, would you mind liking / reblogging this? she comes with her own set of verses and uh... if nothing else, i can promise she’s a lot of fun. )

indefinite hiatus

( alright, i tried... i really did, but despite my best efforts, being on here really doesn’t spark joy for me any more and considering i now lack much motivation to write or create new stuff, i think i’m just gonna take a temporary break from vivian.

ofc, this isn’t permanent; in fact, something might happen to make my muse eventually return full throttle, but as of now, i’m no longer feeling it. maybe it’s due to how the open starters i write almost always get ignored, how trying to get more interactions on here is like pulling teeth, or how it seems i’m constantly having to beg people for more threads, yet either way, i feel invisible and largely disconnected from the rpc as a whole.

it’s honestly this, coupled with the fact i recently discovered a former friend of mine had hardblocked me without ever talking to me first, that i no longer get the impression i’m even liked all that much; therefore, i’ll be absent until further notice.

with that being said, though, you are free to unfollow/softblock. )

( ngl, i’m thinking of actually putting this blog on another indefinate hiatus again after vivian’s birthday is concluded, so while i’ll still be around to answer replies and any potential birthday asks for the time being, i’ll probably be jumping ship once april 21 rolls around, because i’m admittedly not too happy about something that had occured and it’s inevitably going to bleed into my writing... so yeah, it’s best that i take a step back at some point before my writing ultimately declines in quality due to my emotions going haywire over something troubling me. )

OOC UPDATES

edited my rules to include this tidbit:

On the off chance I happen to follow you first, then chances are high I will be the one making the first move, but there’s only so many asks/memes or starters I can write/send if they keep getting ignored. What this means is that while I don’t mind people taking their time with replying, I will simply stop putting in the effort to interact with you if you keep reblogging memes without ever answering the ones I’ve sent, dropping our threads after only a few notes, or not even bothering to leave a like on the starters I’ve written you to express you’ve seen it. Granted, it’s one thing if you tell me OOC you have seen it and will reply to it later, but if all I ever receive is dead silence from you, I will stop trying until you put in actual effort to interact with me back.

IT’S OFFICIALLY VIVIAN’S BIRTHDAY / APRIL 20.

( ofc, you are free to send asks to her, whether it be through anon or off-anon, and i’ll try my best to get to all of them before the day is through! )

Hello, Vivi-mun! I just wanted to say that though we don't interact as much as I'd like to ( blame my fickle muses aaa ), your presence on the dash is deeply comforting, and I adore that you're still so dedicated to Vivian despite Tumblr's shitty tendency to not interact with you. Your hard work with this character is seen and appreciated, and being able to see her is certainly a treat! 💛

               UNPROMPTED ASKS. » always accepting!

( ahdjksahdkshaj THANK YOU FOR SAYING SO, KILLJOY... i honestly try not to let the lack of asks or interactions get me down that much, but there are times where i admittedly doubt or second guess myself.

like, ‘do people REALLY enjoy interacting with me or do they do only so out of politeness because vivi happens to be a female oc?’ and ‘is my way of portraying her autism too much, that it drives other people away?’ therefore, i really appreciate the kind words... especially after i spent years on this hellsite, being backstabbed, ignored, and misunderstood by the rpc, to the point where i think i’m now EFFECTIVELY traumatized, because people often never tell me upfront if i annoyed them or just refrain from communicating with me altogether.

ofc, you won’t see me being active for long considering i’m still planning on going on another indefinite hiatus after april 20 due to autistic burnout, but from now on... every time i revert back to thinking negative thoughts regarding vivian, i will look back at this ask and remember that someone i wholeheartedly respect finds my posts/content comforting. )

@aphantaregioned

｢ @illdivine​​ ｣ — writes:

aww ur pfp is sooo cute!

always accepting → unprompted asks !!

( THANK... in case you were wondering, my new pfp was actually taken from my recent picrew edit over here, but ahhh, i’m glad you like it! tbh, you’re actually the first person to even compliment the dash icon i’m currently using, so i’m happy to be recieving such positive feedback... )

( thinking about how vivian has the mentality of ‘unfortunately, i am attracted to people regardless of gender’, not because of misanthropy or hatred towards people who don’t identify as female/male, but the belief that they’re just more complicated. cause unlike fictional characters in dating sims, real people actually have free will, so it takes time, effort, and hard work to actually get closer to someone and even then, they’re not guaranteed to fall in love with you once you establish a connection with them.

on top of that, vivian hates being attracted to ‘three dimensional people’, because she worries they’ll be uncomfortable by this revelation, especially when she views herself to be a hideous freak, which isn’t really helped by society’s unkind opinions regarding autistic folks. plus, due to her hypersexuality, she tends to mentally objectify those she finds attractive, which then leads her to feel guilt and shame further down the line.

also, with how frequently she has experienced rejection, vivian’s insecure and does not know how to do relationships, for no one has ever really expressed interest or bothered pursuing her. )

( tfw you’re tempted to post a shipping call for your oc, but you remember she’s very demiromantic... not to mention uncooperative, so vivi has no qualms burning down bridges if something someone says rubs her the wrong way and will either not actively pursue someone she likes or is too dumb to even realize she likes them, meaning with her, it’s a very slow-burn process unless plotting is involved.

ofc, she will recognize people are hot, but unless they are the ones who flirt with her/ask her out first, nothing will probably come out of it; in fact, chances are high vivi would be pining/obsessing over them from afar or already be planning on how best to ghost them, because she very much fears rejection.

also, as a pansexual person with a heavy male lean, she’s... very picky when it comes to women. seriously, no matter how pretty a girl is, they could say anime is lame or they hate men and she’ll automatically be like, ‘okay that’s the last straw. I’M ALREADY DONE WITH YOU. goodbye’, so more often than not, she tends to fall for men.

even then, however, the behavior she exhibits towards said men can be very... questionable and her thoughts regarding them are super unwholesome, to the point where they often become unnerved by her which is pretty understandable, but still. )

( hm... i might actually come back from my indefinite hiatus because i missed vivian, but i’ll probably just only continue the threads i have with @recordead​, @arskaerenetia​, and @dis--parity​ because they’re the ones that happen to spark the most joy for me.

still, i guess in the meantime, people who haven’t yet unfollowed me coud feel free to send me asks or answer my open starters, especially since it could be quite some time before i reblog another meme, post another starter call, or write another open which usually gets ignored anyways, so i’m kinda no longer motivated to actively spur on more interactions, otl. )

( psssst, i ended up making a new wall for vivian! but yeah, feel free to type something in it, i guess?? )

( since it’ll be her birthday this month, i guess i’ll TRY to do a bit more with vivi... but i can make no guarantees i’ll actually stay longer on her, due to how badly the tumblr rpc tends to treat it’s female ocs. )

( finally updated my verses page to include a god eater 3 verse for vivian, but lore is heavily tied to tessa, kae’s portrayal of ryuto, and my interpretation of gin+kobato from my multi, so they’ll end up being mentioned in any future threads i have on this blog. )

｢ anonymous ｣ — writes:

//Good to see you back! @katsu-at-the-bottom

always accepting → unprompted asks !!

( adhskajhdjkashkdjsa THANK YOU... granted, i still don’t know for how long me being active will even last, but so far, i haven’t run out of things to queue, meaning at the very least, i’ll continue periodically spamming the dash with replies or other miscellanious stuff. )

( OKAY, i’m now officially caught up with drafts, so...

/slides the dash my opens tag and memes tag )