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lina-delgado · 1 year

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Unable to avoid the discussion of her “pregnancy” forever, Lina ends up stuck getting @sagetomashardy‘s stance on the matter as he tries to convince her how dangerous keeping her baby would be.

tw mentions of abortion

It seemed like every day Emre was telling her to go talk to Tomas, go see Tomas, why haven't you gone to Tomas yet? At some point Lina felt like she might snap, instead of giving him the usual excuse of being nervous about talking about this. She could only use that excuse for so long, but she would milk it for as long as she could.

So hers and Alex's place was like her little hiding hole. Being such close proximity to the farm she didn't want to leave too often in case she had to run into Tomas because knowing her luck the moment she stepped out of her hut he would be walking by. Emre must have said something about it by now, honestly she was surprised he didn't drag Tomas over for a house call. But that thought wasn't too far off as she heard the sound of Tomas' voice approaching along with a much higher pitched voice that she had to assume was his baby.

So Lina picked herself up from lounging on her bed and walked over to the door, timing her exit when it sounded like his voice was close enough to her place. "Oh, wow what a coincidence you're here." She said once she swung the door open for him, trying to sound impressed by their timing. "I was just on my way to see you."

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"Were you, now." Tomas didn't doubt Lina, exactly; or at least he didn't doubt her in general, as a person. He had no real reason to think that she would lie to anybody, but the fact that she hadn't sought out medical attention in her condition, well. That spoke volumes.

Not that he blamed her, with what she was facing. "You know Flora, don't you?" Tomas asked, hefting the baby in his arms so she could turn and look at Lina. "She's getting big now but I think you might. From before we got here to South Beach, and my wi--" Tomas bit the word off, his stomach turning over. "Libby and I found her and took her in." How much did Lina remember from what her dupe did? Was it even worth Tomas bringing it up to remind her? And what would he even say--

Hey, d'you remember how your dupe did her best to make me feel like I'm attractive when I've never felt less wanted?

Yeah, that would go over great, not awkward at all. Flora peered at Lina and made three beeps before demanding to be put down, which Tomas obeyed, watching her imperiously start to explore the house. "So. I think we both know what you were coming to see me for."

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"Oh, yeah, for sure." Lina confirmed with a nod. He didn't need to be nosey about it. Lina was sure she could play up with exhausted, worried and stressed out new mother if he felt like the way she avoided seeking help was a little bit suspicious. She wasn't sure how the proper way to react to all of this was, and she could argue there was no proper way because everyone was different. Just because she said she was planning on keeping the baby didn't mean she couldn't also be terrified about hearing the procedures.

But now she probably couldn't escape the talk with Tomas there. Thankfully, the baby in his arms, Flora was a good buffer. "Right. Yeah, I remember her. Not like I was really close with the parents but kind of hard to forget when a baby is born around here." It felt like her and Flora were having a bit of a staring match as Tomas held her, like the two of them were trying to understand each other. As her way of calling a truce, Lina reached out and booped Flora's little nose before looking back at Tomas.

"I'm sure...Emre already told you what happened. We already talked to Nesh about it and Emre loves to mention how you're riddled with horror stories on the subject so, sorry if going to see you has been a little easy to push back."

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"No," Tomas said after a moment of being flabbergasted, "it's not like you can forget how babies get born around here." He watched as Lina tapped Flora's nose, cool as a cucumber, before Tomas put the toddler down and she went off her own way. Either Lina hadn't been aware of the issues concerning childbirth on the island, despite the no doubt tense atmosphere surrounding the arrival of baby Flora into the world, or she ... she what? Thought things would go easily for her?

"Riddled with--" Tomas began to repeat after Lina gave her opinion on the matter, then made a frustrated sound. "Listen! If Emre told you anything regarding what I know about island pregnancies, and if you listened to even a quarter of it, you'd be shaking in your boots, missy." He frowned deeply at her, regarding her midsection with a considering look. "You can't be very far along. That means that you have options, Lina." Tomas met her eyes, holding her gaze. "I don't know if Emre told you that part. Or if Dr. Nanku would've offered it."

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Lina watched the way Tomas got all worked up about her responses. She probably would have enjoyed this stern attitude if it weren't for the fact that it was in regards to her supposed pregnancy. Even if Tomas had any sort of attraction to her, she couldn't imagine he'd find this an appropriate time to do anything about it. So she crossed her arms and sat herself down while he went on with his suggestion of her having options that may not have been presented to her.

"Well sure but what's more dangerous around here? Having the baby or getting rid of it? Because I can't imagine an abortion is the safest option in this circumstance." She gladly would have taken it as an option if she didn't back herself into this corner. Part of her wondered if Nesh would be able to lie on her behalf, but it seemed unlikely and she couldn't bring herself to tell him the truth. "Neither of them told me much, they were more focused on their pissing contest. But I have a feeling that my options are limited and both are risky."

She leaned her head back in exasperation, glancing over to see Flora's exploration resulted in her finding some of Lina's clothes to play with. "Hey munchkin, those clothes are way too big for you." She said, attempting her best 'cool aunt' voice, hoping the toddler didn't start putting things in her mouth. "What would you suggest I do then? Because I'm just trying to go with the lesser of two evils here, but if you have a better alternative, I'm all ears."

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"Having the baby! Having the baby is very much more dangerous than aborting it!" Tomas was aghast. When Iyaz had arrived on the island he'd taken over all of the contraceptive talks (well, Tomas had forced him to, but who was counting?) but there were obviously gaps in island education. What with Lina being from South Beach and all. "Look, Lina -- I'm not saying this lightly. I know it's a big decision. But it's the safer choice when it comes down to it. You don't want to know all the complications that childbirth involves, in a proper hospital much less here. Even with a proper doctor to deliver."

Lina looked exasperated, and Tomas was frustrated. She obviously could get laid whenever she felt like it and from what he'd heard on the outskirts of island gossip, wasn't parsimonious with her favours; why was this such a new issue for her? Surely she'd been versed on the contraceptive tea up till now. He frowned, ignoring whatever Flora was getting into to train his attention all on Lina, crossing his arms along with the scowl.

"I suggest you tell me why you slipped up with the tea," Tomas said. "I severely doubt that you'd be that careless. You're..." he paused, pressing his lips together for a moment before confessing, "your dupe came on to me. I didn't realize it wasn't you until all the tree-trapped people got found. And if I wasn't very much in love with my wife, I would've screwed her in a heartbeat." He shrugged one shoulder. "You're a beautiful girl, Lina, you don't need me to tell you that. And I don't think you've lacked for company when you want it. So tell me the truth."

Tomas reached forward, catching her chin in his hand tightly. "Did you get pregnant on purpose?"

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Lina had completely been making assumptions about what option would be worse. She mostly considered how unlikely it was for them to be able to do a safe and proper abortion around here. And then if she really was pregnant, that would easily be two lives lost. She had to try and think about it from a motherly point of view and not as someone who was faking a pregnancy. "Well I don't know okay! I've never had to go through this before and I'd probably be able to properly understand things if everyone wasn't choosing to yell at me about it."

When he held her face in his hand, locking his stern gaze on her, she assumed he was completely onto her about lying. Lina was prepared for him to say outright she was faking until he opened his mouth and asked if she got pregnant on purpose. He still thought she was up to something but hadn't caught on just yet. "No! Of course not! I didn't–this was an accident. I don't have sex every day so I don't drink the tea every day. But sometimes Emre would come around to drag me away somewhere for a quicky and I guess this one time I got so wrapped up in it I forgot to mention I didn't drink it, he forgot to ask and he fucked me so good that taking it after we were done slipped my mind. And I've had enough experience off the island to not expect to get knocked up from the one time we don't use protection."

She didn't bother pulling away from his grasp, waiting for him to let go of her when he wanted to. "Why would I even do something like this on purpose? I understand it's risky, I'm trying to be chill and cool about it but maybe I am scared about making the wrong decision and things going wrong. I just...I don't know what to do." She finished quietly, her eyes mirroring something akin to fear at all of this. "And both doctors yelling at me isn't exactly helping, the only person who has been helping is Emre. So could you not make me feel shittier than I already do for like, five minutes?"

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"Oh, don't give me that." Tomas had thought he'd be more gentle about this, all cotton-wool-wrapped and carefully-presented ideas and options to a young woman who'd found herself in a predicament, but the more he spoke to Lina the more agitated he was getting. "There's no way you can be this unprepared for what's happening. You don't have to have gone through having a baby to know the broad strokes on what it entails and--"

--and it wasn't like she didn't have a point. Tomas furrowed his brow, blinking at her in consternation as he thought about it. "You're right, though, I shouldn't yell at you. That's not likely to help any, is it." How deep should he go with this, exactly? Once she said that it had entirely been an accidental pregnancy, she hadn't decided to do this without (what Tomas considered) a measured and invested conversation about having a baby beforehand, he at least could shut down that avenue of concern. He grimaced reflexively when Lina laid the blame squarely at Emre's feet, not liking that much either, but again: not helpful to be judgmental. Not at this point in the proceedings. "Getting your brains fucked out isn't a reason to neglect contraception."

Okay, so it was harder than it seemed to keep from scolding her. Tomas kept hold of Lina's chin, just adjusting his grip so he was cupping her face rather than cinching her immobile. "You shouldn't be chill or cool about it. You should listen to me and to Doctor Nanku. And if I'm making you feel shitty, Lina, it's because I know exactly what you're facing when it comes to having a baby here and it's not good. It's not good at all. I think you should think seriously about ..." Tomas couldn't say it, abortion, hearing Flora in the next room giggling froggily to herself about something. "I think you should choose the other option. Terminating it." Less direct but no less firm.

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Lina could see that playing this completely dumb wasn't enough for Tomas to settle in. He was too smart for that, and wasn't easily distracted either. But at least there was a pause at her argument about being yelled at, but the problem was, regardless of what he said and how he articulated it, it wouldn't mean anything to her. There were no actual stakes, nothing as serious as the death of her and her baby. Her only concern was making sure he didn't doubt her.

"Not particularly no. I've never responded well to yelling in situations like this." She was going to make a comment but had to refrain in case it made him more annoyed with her than he already was. Bringing his sex life into this wouldn't make things better. "I'll make sure to keep it in mind next time someone fucks my brains out."

Tomas stood firm in his opinion on the matter, that not carrying a baby would be a lot safer than doing so. And it was such an easy way out, if there was any way to actually get rid of a baby that didn't exist without everyone realizing that it didn't exist. Lina placed her hands over her stomach, as if there was something there to comfort, trying to think of what would be the best response to placate Tomas but also not put her in a situation that might get her caught. "I hear you, but it's a big decision. I mean its not guaranteed that terminating it goes well for me either, right? And I'm gonna be honest, Emre seemed to be ready to go into parent mode when I told him, which I did not expect. So as much as it's my body, my choice and all that, I also think it's fair to talk to him about it, see what he wants." She wasn't sure if it sounded sweet or stupid but she could work with whatever Tomas took it as.

"But theoretically, say we do end up wanting to keep it." Because then she could sit and wait til she came up with a solution to her lie. "What then?"

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"Terminating it is your best shot. I wouldn't say that lightly, Lina. Believe me." At least the girl was listening, now; Tomas had been getting the perplexing sense that she'd been more lost in her own rumination before and not particularly grasping the weight of what he was trying to get across. "I'm a parent, and my wife and I lost pregnancies. It's not easy. It can mess you up. But trying to carry a baby to term here and then giving birth? That's --"

He didn't want to think about Emre. Who was certain to want this, Tomas was sure; who'd be struggling with all the horror stories that Tomas had spilled out of his hands at the slightest provocation versus the huge, ragged, baby-brother-shaped hole in himself. It really wasn't fair. Emre would make an incredible father. He practically already had.

"It's a death sentence," Tomas finished, somewhere intermingled with Lina's decision that she needed to consult the father. "I can't say it any more plainly than that. But you're right, it's not my choice."

He skidded the heel of his hand up across his face, looking over at Flora, who'd discovered some kind of woven basket with a few sweet potatoes in it and had curled up in it to make friends with them. "If you want to keep your baby," he rephrased ponderously, to give it more weight, "then you have to visit the doctor regularly. Follow his every instruction. If he doesn't have time, then I'll do it. You'll have to adjust your diet and your daily habits. You'll have to stick to the beach here where it's populated and safe. If anything screwy happens -- like it does -- you'll have to be protected. A priority."

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Lina nodded as she listened to Tomas, wanting to look understanding and sympathetic to the truths he was sharing about his own experiences. "I'm sorry to hear that. I can see why this is important to you. I promise I'll take it all into consideration." Or at least use it to her advantage somehow. A sob story to make Emre rethink his desire to be a parent around here. Though if all the mention of death didn't deter him, what the hell would?

She knew she would have been scared if she actually had anything to worry about. This wouldn't even be a debate if she was pregnant, but she had a lie to drag out, she had to consider the best course of action. Like what the hell was she gonna do when she didn't start showing? There were getting to be too many eyes on her now, which, on one hand she was totally fine with, but on the other, this isn't what she wanted people paying attention to her for. "Maybe but...clearly it's worked out at least once." She commented as she gestured over to the baby touching everything in the place like it was her own.

"But I don't want to argue. I wanted opinions and options and...you're being very helpful by giving me your thoughts. So thank you." Lina could work with scheduled alone time with Nesh, he would be easier to distract than Tomas, who would probably be poking and prodding and asking far too many questions that Lina wouldn't have the answers to. "Understood. It's a big change, a lot to accommodate for. I'll talk to Emre about it and we'll make an executive decision and...go from there. I know it's very serious business so I'll do my best not to take any of this lightly anymore."

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The shift in her attitude was palpable and Tomas felt himself ... not exactly relax, but at least be mollified by Lina stating out loud that she was more aware now about what she was facing. All of the dangers and troubles and intricacies.

"I don't want to argue either," he said, going over to collect Flora out of the basket. She protested but Tomas took one of the sweet potatoes to give her to keep her occupied, presuming that Lina could just hop down to the farm and get another if she wanted it. "I just needed you to know. How hard -- how dangerous this will be for you, if you decide to carry the child to term." He was heading for the door, but he lingered for a moment at it, not quite looking at Lina.

"Don't hold back," he said. "When you're talking to Emre. Don't reassure him that you and the infant will live through this, don't tell him that you want to try. Don't encourage him in any way. He'll..." Tomas shook his head. "Let me know what you decide."

He left it at that, stepping out into the sunshine with his own baby, who'd lived.

END.

#[ interactions ! ]#[ tomas hardy ! ]#[ tomas02 ]#abortion mention tw #thank you to maggie for writing this with me #tomas trying to be the voice of reason to someone whose just trying not to blow her cover

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