Stemms, I wanted to chat. Is it bad that I miss my Dream? Like, he did super messed shit to me and took all of my canon lives and even took one during exile but I still miss him. I know a lot of it was a temper tantrum that he was throwing because he wasn't a deity anymore but there is also a part of me that feels like I shouldn't miss him and want him around. Anyway, I guess what I'm getting at is, do you miss your Dream? Is it normal?

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear you miss your Dream despite all the terrible things he did to you, I know exactly how confusing it can be... But it makes a lot of sense because of the trauma bonding, so there's no shame in that!

I desperately miss my Dream, especially in the last few days. I know that he didn't treat me right during exile and my time as his Protégé, he was quite literally torturing me, yet I still miss him more than anything in this world.

I know that he wasn't supposed to keep me in a constant fear of frustrating him, kick me awake and possibly break my bones if I fell asleep while waiting for him in exile, give me healing and slowness potions during punishments in exile to be able to hurt me for longer without killing me, shattering my fingers one by one during the revival experiments, and the list can go on...

But even if I associate his name with the looming threat of Nightmare gripped tightly in his hand, his name also feels like home to me. When everyone abandoned me in exile and didn't even bother showing up to my party, he was there to comfort me. He comforted me after each punishment, and the softness of his touch almost made me believe that I did deserve it. We've also had plenty of soft moments, such as listening to Wait together (it was Our disc), or me getting a habit of falling asleep quickly in his arms.

I miss my Dream so much that my partner reminds me to go to bed at a reasonable time as c!Dream, and we rp the exile bonding exercise every morning. Like, I do realise it was Traumatic™ but it's also an activity that feels Very Familiar, so it's comforting in a way.