i just want you to know that i and a couple of my friends follow you and because of your skeleton tag every time we see a skull or a skeleton or even a bone we now yell SKELETON or possibly THE SKELETON APPEARS. life improved immeasurably by this 11/10 thank you for your influence

Thank you for taking the SKELETON challenge!! can you find the skeleton? now?

hiiii I just want to say sorry about all these people jumping down your throat about your edward creel posts. Regardless of whether you're right or not (i think you are lol), your theories and posts are VERY well researched and well written, and also soo entertaining. how can people be upset that you've been consistently creating content during a hiatus? would they rather everyone just shut up and let the fandom fall to the shadows? truly unfathomable to me. yours and henrysglock's posts have been the only thing keeping my interest in stranger things all these months. anyway sorry I sort of rambled I just wanted you to know I appreciate the thought put into your posts and I'm really thankful to have people in this fandom who are still creating new ideas and theories even after more than a year of no new content. have a great day 🩷🧡

AHHHHHHHHHHH HELLO THANK YOU THIS IS SUCH A SWEET MESSAGE OMG 😭💗💗 YOUVE MADE MY DAY!!! First of all, HELLO FELLOW EDWARD TRUTHER 🤝🤝🤝🤝 a d second of all THANK YOU AGAIN HEHEHDH IM KICKING MY FEET AND GIGGLING!!! I really appreciate that because I do try really hard to keep my analysis (not the fanon stuff which ppl seem go somehow conflate with analysis sometimes) evidence-based and well-researched but also relatively easily/fun to read, so I really really love hearing that!!

And right?? I genuinely don’t understand why people are so upset about others delving into things!!!! I really think many of them would rather that people just shut up & let things fall to the shadows & take everything at surface value. Like even if I’m 100% wrong about every single thing, at least I made an effort to look deeper, yknow? That’s the thing for me, it’s not even about right vs wrong or dumb vs smart, it’s about being willing to take the time to even try to dig a little deeper into things before committing to surface level judgements. IM GLAD YOU AGREE BC ITS TRILY UNFATHOMABLE TO ME TOO LIKE I LOVE SEEING ALL THE THEORIES AND THOUGHTS FROM PEOPLE!!!!! Like I’ve said before, I don’t mind a super long delay for S5 because it means i get to keep having fun making theories and seeing other peoples’ theories!!!

IM SO GLAD THAT ME AND JAMES HAVING BEEN KEEPING YOU INTERESTED IN ST OMG <<<333 I have SO many more analyses in the drafts (seriously, like, content drought WHO??? i could analyze this show for the rest of my life) and so there will be lots more to come!! And James really does have such great posts, I am 4ever grateful for his brilliant analysis and friendship, seriously, i probably wouldve just stayed in my hole not posting very much analysis after the initial backlash if i didnt have james and stav to rant to!!! (and on that note I also recommend the beloved and iconic stav @heroesbyler for some more wonderful posts!!! stav is very much Onto the duffers/a fellow edward enthusiast)

Omg no worries at all about rambling/no need to apologize!! This is such a kind message to send and I really appreciate you taking the time to send it to me!!! Just!! THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <<333 I’m also so thankful for the fellow theorists who keep putting out their thoughts & for people like you who are so thoughtful, kind, and supportive!!! Stranger Things is so rich with subtext and things to analyze and it’s really a shame that some folks are so opposed to digging into it. Like i said, even if I’m wrong, I still had a blast digging through the show and trying to piece things together!!!

Thank you!!! I hope you have a great day too!! <<<3333

Story time anon, it's you!!!

I hope you don't mind me putting the rest of your message under a cut like last time (context for folks who are popping in with no context) but you know I'll read every single word!

If you need a distraction I have another story and I guess, a lesson? Same as before, most people already know this is a stupid thing 😂

Growing up as a teenager, It was difficult getting me to eat actual food. Many people used to make off handed comments about my weight and it was just inconsistent enough for it to be " kids fancy me, not bullying" we've all heard that saying, as dumb as it is. I would go to bed hungry and wake up to go running so I didnt have to eat breakfast. (This isnt the lesson but if this gunna be on your feed I thought that I should mention that I'm older now, size 14 at 4'10 and IM SEXY AS FUCK, your body is nobody else's business but your own! Dont let someone nosey dictate how you feel about your body!)

Anyway, massively digressed, there was one item that I would always eat ( because I could never resist xD) and that was Ben&Jerry's Cookie Dough Ice Cream✨

So growing up,and since then, it's one of my favourites! Which leads me to the night before my birthday...

My mum had brought me ice cream, and me being the clever (sarcasm, very stupid actually) individual I am, I said "you know what's better than ice cream? MILKSHAKE"

Which, hey, wasnt the bad idea here! The bad idea was instead of actually MAKING a milkshake with my fave ice cream, I decided to let it MELT!

Yes, you heard me!! I DRANK MELTED ICE CREAM ( I cant lie, it tasted bomb!) And with that, I went to bed so I could have a fun birthday.

Turns out I had doomed myself, and since you saw my other story time, you might think this sounds familiar and you're right!

I was no longer able to actually have a fun birthday because, folks, melted ice cream made me poop my bed...

Yeah, from my story times, I'm painting myself as someone who really cant control their body at all xD

.. if you're wondering about my perfect partner....he was there for this douche as well😭😂

Anyway, lesson is eat whatever you want you sexy mofos but NOT MELTED ICE CREAM, have some more self respect for yourself then I did😂😂

What!!!!! Okay I did not actually know this lesson, in fact mostly melted is my preferred method of consuming ice cream... I--I guess I'll be careful...! (Maybe it's a cookie dough specific thing, rather than an ice cream specific thing?)

Funny story I've had difficulty in the past with eating as well, but a lot of the remarks came from grown ass adults in an office setting. >:\ It was never malicious, never anything I'd report to HR, but like... enough to make a person self-conscious about what they've chosen to eat in public, which is never okay. I should have told them how it made me feel and asked them to stop.

Anyway, I empathize!! I'm glad you have a better relationship with food, I do as well. :) Granted I do forget to eat when I focus too much on work, but I'm trying my best to... not forget! Haha!

Coastal Waters (1/8/2021)

Click here if you’re like “What the heck is this about?”

Valera @autokrates and Madame @usedhearts meet underwater, talk about Madame’s history, eat an eel, and head to the library when Valera discovers to his horror that Madame, an octopus, doesn’t know shit about octopuses. octopodes. octopi.

Madame

The sea. She hadn't even seen the ocean since she was just a girl, let alone swam deep in her waters. The water was warm against her skin, and she flowed through it with an effortless grace that she honestly didn't know she had. It felt good. It felt right, to be among the waves of this alien planet. This was were a giant octopus of a lady should be.

Madame just sat there, under the water, watching curious fish and other creatures flit towards her. She was far larger than any of them, so they were either brave or foolish. A few of the more foolish ones found their way inside her mouth for their crimes. She intentionally kept her skin a pinkish red, wanting to stand out among the reef. A color that said 'Here I am, and I'm bigger than you, so watch out!' It was perfect really.  She kept a look out for anyone else going for a swim-- she'd be sure they got a little kraken scare, just for fun.

Valera

Funny, how even on an alien planet, the ocean is still comforting to anyone who loved it. Colorful fish were abundant, the reddish light of the suns lending a faintly pink tinge to the rays coming down through the water.

And here comes Valera to torment innocent wildlife, a flash of silver followed by pink as he chases a mirror bright eel adjacent creature past Madame's resting place.

Madame

Madame's head snapped to the side as Valera passed, and quick as anything, she's off after him. That eel is the target, hm? Well, she wasn't about to let their host have an easy go of it. Tentacles opening and then thrusting back to get her speed, she closed in, trying to get it first-- or at least, make a little game of it for Valera.

Valera

It takes a few seconds for Valera to notice the appearance of a competitor, movement in the corner of his eyes nearly distracting him enough to lose track of the eel. But then the slippery menace turns on a dime, diving into a crevice in the rocks for all its worth. Valera's forced to brake, fins flaring out dramatically as he backpedals just to not smash into the rocks.

He perches on the coral, snorting out a few bubbles as he looks up at Madame. "Damn! Ah well, it'll have to come out eventually. Hello! What's an octopus like you doing in a place like this?"

Madame

Unfortunately, Madame doesn't catch herself quite as quickly as Valera, but she does slow herself enough to not smash hard against the rocks. She winced as she pulled away from them, rubbing her arm.

"Ouch. Them eels are slippery fuckers, ain't they?" She smirked at Val, swimming over to them and perching in a similar manner. "That it does. And thought I'd go for a swim, enjoy it while I can 'n all that. The closest I get to all this is my aquariums at home. This is...heaven, honestly."

Valera

Valera frowns, leaning in to sniff at Madame. Any blood? He can patch up a scrape no problem! The praise for his planet makes him purr, a soft buzz in the water that makes nearby fish start swimming closer to nibble at the pink fish's scales.

"I'm glad you're enjoying yourself! I was hoping my home would be a place of relaxation, but it seems like it's getting even more of a positive response than expected. If you really like it though, I'll see about inviting you back sometime!"

Madame

No blood, luckily, but she'd probably have a bruise or three later. Octopus skin is durable but not the best when it comes to impacts.

"Oh, I'd simply love that-- even give ya free drinks for life at the Cabaret if that'd sweeten the pot." She winked and laughed, before turning to look up at the surface, watching the sunlight glitter through. She was glad they were surrounded by salt water-- a few tears wouldn't be noticed down here.

"It truly is beautiful. Reminds me so much a home-- I ever tell ya, me 'n Alastor hail from the same place? Good ol' Nawlins, right there on the gulf. Gorgeous city, full of wonderful people 'n the best food 'n the south. When I went west with my husband, I knew I'd miss the ocean, but I didn't think I'd die without ever seein' it again." She smiled as she turned towards him.

"Ya really put some joy back in an ol' lady's heart, Valera, invitin' me here. Didn't think it'd mean as much as it does...but here we are." She laughed, and wiped at her eyes-- before remembering there was nothing to wipe. "Forgive me, gettin' all emotional. We supposed t' be lookin' for an eel, right?"

Valera

"Oh, that eel can go tie itself in knots for all I care, we're talking about this old lady here right now." Valera leans in, a clawed hand delicately patting at Madame's shoulder. "I didn't know you were from New Orleans! I've been there a few times. Lovely place. Very...." He pauses to think, plucking a wandering shrimp off the reef to gesture with. "Lively? Vibrant! You can really lose yourself in that city"

His tail winds around an outcrop, the fish settling down like he was lounging on the finest swooning couch. "So, you were married? Happily, I hope!"

Madame

She took a few breaths, the water filling her chest with warmth, and nodded.

"I was, born 'n raised. Got married a fresh faced youth 'n me 'n the husband decided to try 'n make our fortunes out west. We made it out there too, 'n then he caught ill 'n passed. Left me with a house built and some livestock bought 'n not much else. Started up doin' work on my back, 'n then collected some other girls, some a them like me, others on they own from the start. Home my husband built became my saloon 'n brothel, 'n a whole town sprung up around it. Lovely lil' place.

"But with people come folk what think they the law in a lawless patch a ground. Dumb fucks didn't like me much, and I ain't care for them neither. Startin' smugglin' for local outlaws, hidin' some. The quote-unquote 'law' got it in they heads to burn my place down, cause I was hidin' some poor boy they wanted-- surprised them when the whole thing blew to smithereens cause we was sittin' on a couple boxes a dynamite. Oh, if I coulda seen their faces...." She trailed off and then cleared her throat, laughing a little.

"But then I landed in Hell. And they did too. Strung 'em up by they own insides for I staked a claim on the land I landed on. That's where the Cabaret sits now. The asshole's skeletons're in the aquarium now, housin' crabs and whatnot. Serves 'em right."

Valera

Valera makes a sound more like a dolphin noise than a whistle, crossing one leg over the other as he listens to Madame tell her not especially tragic backstory. "It certainly does. Though I'm sure the short time they spent in Hell came as a rather nasty surprise, if they were going around calling themselves the *law*."

A snort. "It sounds like you've been a woman with a talent for business since day one, Madame. Can't say I'm surprised with the way you run things, but what a story. Sorry to hear about the husband though, losing someone is never easy."

Madame

She nodded, crossing her legs as daintily as someone who was fifteen feet tall could.

"Oh yeah, real nasty surprise for them-- shame I didn't keep 'em around longer, woulda been fun to have 'em strung up on the dart boards or somethin'."

Madame shrugged. "I did miss 'im but, after he died, I realized that I never _really_ loved him. Not like a woman 'n a man 'should' love each other. Dunno why, always been like that I suppose. But we was best friends since childhood 'n it made sense back then to marry someone y' at least liked, instead a some stranger."

Valera

"Hah! I can see it now! Are you a sadist? Five bucks a pop and you can throw your darts at the living dart boards! Ten points if you get them in the eyes, fifteen if you throw hard enough to knock a tooth out! Oh, Hell would have loved that." He cackles, popping the shrimp into his mouth for a quick snack. Mmm, crunchy!

"...Is there a 'should'?" His face twists in confusion. "Maybe it's an alien thing. I was set to bond with my own best friend before I cut that short in favor of running the Autocracy. Romance seems secondary in favor of... You know. Benefits."

Madame

"Dunno. With humans there's always a 'should', it seems. 'Ya _should_ love a man. Ya _should_ marry 'n have kids. Ya _should_ pick yerself up by yer bootstraps 'n get shit done. Ya _should_ know all the right things ta say'." She sighed and shrugged.

"Never much cared for the shoulds. Married because it seemed better'n bein' alone-- and I ended up alone anyways. So, what was the point 'n the first place? I sure as shit don't know. Just lost my best friend, that's all." Madame leaned her chin on her hand, elbow on her knee. "Think I woulda fared better with aliens then humans."

Valera

An eyebrow is raised as Valera turns what Madame said over in his mind. "I don't think marrying your best friend directly resulted in him dying, Madame. But I will admit, you wouldn't be the first human, former or otherwise, to say they would have likely been happier with an alien partner." He's absolutely talking about Pentious. And maybe a few others. He's a popular fish!

"Humans are silly creatures, and I do say that fondly! I've seen very few races as determined to bind themselves to strict social rules and roles that none of them seem to actually enjoy. It's baffling."

Madame

She laughed and nodded. "Yeah, I know whatcha mean. Most people seem happier when they break social conventions. Makes ya wonder why we even got 'em."

Madame took a breath and smiled. "And I didn't mean it so much as an alien partner as, well, maybe I was just meant to not be a human-- alien in a human body or some such. Maybe it's why I adapted ta bein' a weird giant octopus demon so well!"

Valera

"Your guess is better than mine, I'm only a human when it suits me."

He grins, all teeth. "It wouldn't surprise me. You never struck me as especially *human*, tentacles nonwithstanding. A lovely person? Yes, absolutely. You take good care of all your girls. But human? Not really." Well that's cryptic. But good luck getting him to elaborate, he's already distracted by trying to shove his arm into the crevice where the eel is hiding.

Madame

Madame let out another laugh, smirking as she shrugged and waved a hand.

"I'll take the compliment, and y'know, that reminds me a one of my go-to numbers." She slid off the rock she sat on and floated down a bit, twirling as she went.

"_I admit that in the past I've been a nasty, they weren't kidding when they called me well, a witch_...." She trailed off, giggling. "One of my favorites. That and 'When You're Good To Mama', acourse."

Valera

"Mm, I had you pinned as a contralto day one, my dear Madame." Valera glances over, against the rock up to the shoulder as he scrabbled for the eel. "You run that routine at the cabaret, right? I'll have to swing by to see it sometime! Maybe with my beau, though I don't know his opinion on burlesque just yet."

Madame

"Oh yes! Just tell me when y'all are droppin' by and I'll be sure to add myself to the night's roster." She winked and swam closer, looking at Val's arm, stuck deep in the rock.

"Any luck findin' the squirmy bastard? Or do ya need something a little more dexterous?" She wiggled a tentacle at him.

Valera

He frowns, then pulls his arm back and gestures for Madame to take his place. "I think you may have better luck, my dear. And for more than just that dexterity of yours! Mind the teeth though, those eels aren't the sharpest around, but they bite and do NOT let go."

Madame

Her arms crossed as she slid the tentacle inside, and Madame's face screwed up in concentration. A few moments later she let out a shout.

"Ow! Fucker got me, but I got him too!" With a mighty yank, her tentacle pulled back out, the eel wrapped tight in it, even as it chomped down on her. "What now, Val?"

Valera

"Now you eat him!" He crows, clapping his hands together as the eel gives the most hateful look it can muster. Though, underwater, there wasn't actually any sound to the gesture. "It's your catch, just bite him behind the eyes, nice and clean kill!"

Madame

She arched a brow, but brought the eel closer, moving to get a good angle. Madame opened her mouth and snapped down on the eel's head-- and it released it's own bite on her. She took it in her hands and bit it in half, swallowing down the front half.

Madame offered the other half to Val, grinning. "Here. Only right a guest share with her host."

Valera

He affects a dainty gasp, accepting the eel with a coquettish fluttering of his lashes. "Why THANK you, my dear Madame. Such a gracious guest, my hearts are warmed by your consideration."

And that chunk of eel is gone in a flash, yam yam. "Gods, always a tasty little morsel. Those have a lot of interesting names in various languages here, but my personal favorite is the one that translates best to..." He taps his chin, trying to think of the closest words. "Something like Bastard Snake. Bastard as in abandoned son, not the insult."

Madame

"Nah, I think the insult worst better, cause he sure was a bastard ta get outta there." She gestured toward her bitten tentacle.

"Think he mighta torn a chunk outta me. Ouch..." She brought it closer to inspect and while the chunk wasn't _gone_, it was barely hanging out. "Oh, that's a doozy..."

Valera

He leans in, taking a closer look at the damage to Madame's tentacle with a sympathetic hiss. "Oooh, that looks painful. Want me to fix it?"

A waggle of his fingers, and he extends a glowing hand. That's probably not ominous, right?

Madame

"Can ya?" She asked, her head tilting. "I'd love ta not have to whip out the scar cream for somethin' so small."

Valera

"I can! Healing and barriers are actually my specialty." He trills, looking VERY pleased with himself about that fact. "No strings attached for you, of course."

Madame

"Well, then, thank ya kindly. Yer a lovely 'n gracious host." She beamed.

Valera

He takes her tentacle in hand, smoothing over the wound with a slow sweep of his palm. A brief flash of numbness, heat, and there, good as new. No dramatics necessary! But he's still going to deliver with some SPECTACULAR jazz hands and the cheeriest grin he can muster.

"There, how's that?"

Madame

Madame let out a little 'oh!' at the numbness and heat, and as soon as her tentacle was released, it flexed and wiggled of its own accord.

"Well, that was sure somethin'! Never had a healin' like that."

Valera

"Never? Is healing magic not common in Hell?" Well, either that or Madame just didn't get hurt often. Either seemed possible.

Madame

"Oh no, it's not that. Usually gettin' somethin' healed costs-- usually a soul, or a favor, but always somethin'." She shrugged. "Try not to get into too many fights, cause the healin' is usually worse than the damage."

Valera

He squints, planting his chin on his open palm as he stares at the fixed tentacle. "I mean, I guess it cost something? All I did was encourage your natural healing. A few cell divisions to smooth over the damage, replace the torn up cells. Something that small didn't require actually replacing any massive swaths of material. You'll be hungrier than usual later, but that's about it!"

A shrug. "It would have been worse if you'd actually lost a chunk, but even then, I could have just converted a pebble to matching flesh or something. No biggie!"

Madame

"A pebble? Huh!" She tapped her chin. "That is somethin'. Yer magic's a lot more powerful than anythin' I can channel. Usual I go to good ol' Al for any real punchy magics."

Valera

"You know, people keep saying that. I never thought of myself as especially powerful." He holds up a finger. "Well, no. I have plenty of RAW power. But as far as efficiency goes, I'm absolute garbage. My magic isn't nearly as finely tuned as it could be. I burn tons of it on even small spells. Like, embarrassing amounts. Horrendously sloppy."

A sigh. "What kind of magic do you usually need from good old Alastor?"

Madame

"If I need a costume on the fly, he can magic up some pretty good threads. He's fairly good at some basic healin'-- like if ona my acts sprains somethin'. And of course, the best magic of all-- his reputation. Ain't nobody gonna mess with the Cabaret none if I got the Radio Demon in my back pocket." She paused.

"Don't tell him I said that, he wouldn't take kindly to it."

Valera

He waves a hand, grin turning downright impish. "What, me? Tell an Alastor that his reputation is helping protect his friends? My dear, I would *never*."

Madame

Madame giggled, and winked at him. "Yer a peach, shug." She put her hands on her hips.

"Anythin' else ya wanna tag team, huntin' wise? I'm down for a lil explorin' 'n huntin', if you are."

Valera

Valera sticks his tongue out, slowly unwinding his tail from his anchor point. "No, I'm a fish! But I understand the confusion. Don't worry, I won't tell anyone your mistake." A wink.

"We'll have to browse the local selection, Madame! If you're amenable to a bit of window shopping, that is."

Madame

"I dunno about that, ya ass is pretty peachy!" She cackled, swimming closer to take his arm.

"I'm a fan a any kinda shoppin', includin' the window kind!"

Valera

Oho! Quick on the sass with that one, was she? Good! Keeps things interesting. He politely flutters his fins, turning his head this way and that to scout out a meal.

"You're more of an ambush predator, no?"

Madame

"Think so! Don't know too much bout octopuses honestly? Only what I've been able to figure out, mostly. But it worked earlier!" She laughed.

Valera

... He turns his head back to look at Madame, eyebrows inching up slowly but surely.

"Pardon? You don't know about octopuses? The very animal your soul was moulded after for your eternal punishment?"

Madame

She laughed, oh that look on his face!

"Yup! Thinka how surprised I was when I dropped inta Hell lookin' like this!" She gestured to herself. "Knew things like fish 'n gators 'n the like, 'n even the tiny little octopuses, but never one as big as me!"

Valera

He squints, slowly turning them back towards the shore. Sounds like they're about to make a trip to the *library*.

"I'm sure. So you're not familiar with how octopus brains work? Or the semi-independent "minds" of their tentacles?"

Madame

"Oh, is that why they sometimes do shit on they own?" She giggled again, going along with Val's movements.

"And no, I ain't. Never thought to look it up, too busy buildin' my business 'n keepin' it."

Valera

He snorts. Yes, this library visit is sounding more and more necessary. But he's not above setting a sedate pace. A couple of friends on a relaxing swim, no need to flip.

"Yes, Madame. You'll also be pleased to know that were you an octopus of the male persuasion, one of your tentacles would also be your penis." A pause, and he amends. "Well, theoretically. It gets wibbly when you mix humans and other species. I doubt you'd lay four hundred thousand eggs and then die from a single mating."

Madame

Her eyes widened and she can't help but laugh again. "Oh fuck! Yeah, sure glad I don't do that! Woulda double died a long time ago!"

Valera

"If it makes you feel any better, the Earth fish I most resemble, the lionfish, can lay..." A tap at his lips, give him a moment to recall... Oh, yes, there we go. "Fifteen thousand eggs every four days?"

That's so many. He shudders at the very thought. "I'm not *quite* so prolific. But fret not, my dear. All those facts and more can be safely tucked into your noggin once we find you a book that doesn't read like watching paint dry. I know there's SOMETHING about octopuses being able to tamper with their own biology on the fly."

Madame

"Oh? That sounds interestin'. And yeah, glad we ain't out here layin' thousands of eggs, that's just too much." She laughed, giving his arm a squeeze in hers.

Valera

And off they go, back to shore and beyond, to educate an octopus woman on her own partial biology. How lovely.

The Abyss NPC are such a trove of gold for additional worldbuilding tbh 

Everything about the Pagan Lady who I assume is Dagdan breaks my heart

That poor NPC whose family was somehow massacred by nobles “People with crests do whatever they like no one stops them least of all the church”

Mr. Backup died during the timeskip :( But Abysskeeper ends up marrying his older sister in VW and SS

Rodrigue paid for reestablishing the monastery town, even giving money to the ppl in abyss & generally seems to. I guess you see where Dimitri gets that charitable mindset from. Yuri also notes that he’s remarkably uncorruptible. 

Abysskeeper is originally from Derdriu. It#s fun how a lot of his CF and AM dialogue is exactly the same but in different context XD - apart from of course the rodrigue line, and the time Hubert sends a soldier to do some mission there

When you go save Fhirdiad Constance is pretty glad to save the ppl from the school of sorcery and is glad to find them mostly unharmed

Yuri goes into some detail of events right preceding Byleth’s return in AM where the villages near the fronts weren’t sure wether to think of the guy massacring random imperial soldiers as a serial killer or a folk hero

Balthus apparently had a friendly brawl with Dimitri at some point (I guess continuing the tedency of the recruitees in aM to mention having personally interacted with him, at the very least Leonie and Caspar also get lines like that)

Apparently Yuri’s mom got sick sometime during the timeskip (at least in the AM timeline) so he couldn’t evacuate her from Faerghus. 

Constance like Ferdinand, Lorenz & Lysithea is one of those ppl who remember Edelgard in a semi-positive light after her defeat. Kudos to you!

Balthus suspects where Claude ran off to. Well, he was kinda sent there to snoop on him to begin with XD

He never had any hope for the Parlay

Apparently Yuri does have a habit of praying, he’s not like a strooong believer and can’t recite the scriptures much but it’s a habit he picked up from his mom, I guess he would be one of those ‘culturally religious’ people

I just love how Yuri had additional observations on nearly everything like... nothing gets past him. 

Meanwhile in the CF timeline, Balthus apparently thinks Edelgard is hot (which earns him a death glare from Byleth) and thinks the whole Black Eagle strike force should go have a beer to celebrate Byleth’s return since they’re all old enough now and Byleth’s no longer supposed to babysit them

I love how Hubert just flat out takes over Abyss and integrates poor overworked Yuri into his spy networkXD . Hence why Hapi feels he deserves a definite article.  Well, Hubert appreciates how good he is. The mission was to try & convince the Alliance lords to fold so like El & co were actively attempting diplomacy until the end

On CF you see a very omnious NPC who suddenly dissapears if talked to (probably Agarthan) who complains about “that prince being no good” - Did they offer Dimitri their support when they noticed they were definitely losing control of Edelgard? If so he seems to have rebuffed em. It’s a very cryptic line and I can’t rly make heads or tails of it, but, if he wouldn’t sell Rhea out to Edelgard he probably wouldn’t do it for someone even worse no matter what they promised him. 

Apparently in the VW timeline Hapi is a big fan of Judith

Balthus is proud that little Hilda has become an A list schemer

Hearing Claude’s plan makes constance a bit self-conscious about her own being more past-focussed, she’s been out-bolded

Hapi doesn’t know much about Almyra but reflects on how there are many marginalized minority groups in Fodlan including ppl from Isolated communities like her own

Yuri finds the plan a bit lofty & idealistic for his tastes, and also reckless,  but he realizes that he’s got no leg to stand on when it comes to being more noble than he lets on, and that maybe a lil bit of recklessness are what these times need

Oh, once the secret’s out Hapi concludes that there probably would have been war one way or another with the slitherers having everything infiltrated, edelgard or no edelgard

Balthus mentions that Holst wasn’t at Shambhalla because he was “working out things with the Almyrans” and suggest that they warn him about the slitherers lest they sabotage the diplomacy

Apparently Hapi meditates! This comes up cause she trying not to freak out about Nemesis

“People sait it was the church who kept order but actually Yuri’s the one keeping us from complete chaos”

Apparently it was Hapi who kept the surface bandit population from flattening Abyss

Apparently in VW it’s Judith who gave supplies to Abyss (In Rodrigue’s place)

Seems like despite Hapi’s worries they kinda fare best on CF though (”Things have been pretty ok” vs “We lost some ppl”)

Abyss Resident: “I used to be an important person in the church but Im exiled for embezzling. It wasn’t out of greed tho my hometown was pillaged and the church wasn’t putting in enough to rebuild” Tell me again that Rhea cares about the little guy

One of the random rogues from Abyss is from the kingdom, claims to be a distant descendant of Fraldarius the Elite and finds “poetic justice” in taking down the empire under Claude. 

Another reaaaaly juicy tidbit is that rogue with another message from Hubert, telling Byleth to bring Rhea with them when they go to Shambhalla. Ensuing that Rhea and Thales would destroy each other.  And reaaaly adds to my conviction that Edelgard and Hubert basically did everyone a huge solid and no one noticed. Well, actually in Verdant wind they Do notice eventually; Its the left hand fighting the right cause everyone has triust issues galore

I didn’t think my love of Hubert could increase further

I always wondered, hm, were they expecting Rhea to self-destruct? Did Claude deliberately plan for it? But I never had enough evidence. especially for team Empire. But I mean Edelgard started this whole war cause Rhea is a danger so, while I get keeping her alive cause the slitherers want her for experiments, why not slit her throat as soon as the imperial palace is surrounded? Why have Hubert return her alive, to win the other faction’s trust? Not their style.

Though the random rogue also says that “Rhea was kept alive as insurance” against the slitherers. 

So it WAS part of the plan. I always did have that feeling, but, I never knew how to articulate it logically and not just intuitively. 

Of course if Byleth went and told Claude about this, Claude’s decision is also clear because he’s not dumb enough to think the empire would care for Rhea’s wellbeing out of the goodness of their heart

Though ultimately she insists on coming along for her own reasons anyways wether Claude is there or not, for plain ol’ revenge. 

Also while reading through the scrpits I realize that I never clicked the “Do you hope [Rhea] is dead?” option when Claude explains his plan. That actually nets you support points and he’s like... “Daangerous question friend”. Really Claude is not “the chill/nice one” he’s so much more interesting than that and I love him

Also I love how the NPCs get different outfits depending on the route! I wish there had been more route-specific aesthetic touches

At what exact moment do you think malec fall in love?that moment in 1×06 when Magnus uses Alec's strength and then falls down exhausted? It's such an underrated moment but one can write a whole essay on it

as a matter of fact, yes, i do believe it was the moment in 1.06 (there is a reason it is my header, after all) and im really glad u asked because its one of my favorite moments and Ive been thinking of making a post about it in forever but never got to it so [cracks knuckles]

well, actually, i think 1.06 was the moment magnus fell in love. i dont know when alec fell in love, to be honest - i think with him, it was just something that kind of settled and clicked into place, you know? there was that attraction and there was the fact that magnus was an amazing person who had amazing chemistry with alec and who fought for him and extended his hand and tried to comfort him without judgement when no one would really allow him to be himself - and who gave him a space to be more of him than any other. but i dont think there was a precise moment when it hit Alec, and suddenly he had fallen; i think he realised he loved magnus when he said he loved him, but at that point it was already cemented. alec is a steady, careful guy; when he falls, he falls hard and becomes an absolute imbecile but until then it kind of settles in slowly, lodges itself inside of him until its carefully in place, and he doesnt really know when it happened. honestly, i relate to that because that's how it works for me, too.

but with Magnus, it was a little different - he had closed himself off from love for centuries, and while obviously he only fell in love with alec because he was already on the pathway to recover and had been for a while now, sure and steady (alec is definitely the right person for him, but he also came at the right time, cuz if he hadnt Magnus wouldnt really be able to allow himself to give in to the obvious pull they had), breaking that kind of wall is hard and is, for many people, something that happens suddenly, all at once, like the crash of a tsunami wave; it kind of isnt there until it suddenly is, flooding out and filling you. and with magnus that's definitely what happened; he had a click moment, when suddenly his walls were down and he found himself feeling, despite himself

you can see a clear difference in how magnus treats alec in 1.04-05 and how he does in 1.06. in 1.04-05 hes flirty, yes, obviously interested, but hes doing it teasingly, playfully, confident in a way that is only possible when theres not much on the line. don't get me wrong, i dont think he was using alec or lying to him - that's not the kind of person Magnus is at all - i just think that it was harmless flirting and interest with not much at stake. he was keeping his kind of playboy, devil-may-care persona (with the exception of the moment when he told alec there was nothing to be ashamed of, because of course magnus "compulsive emotional support" bane would immediately drop the act when he sees someone struggle. ugh. and alec notices this, too, all right, he can see right through to the person magnus really is in that moment, even if he closes himself off). and that wasnt even just in front of Alec; the whole "playing hard to get, i love a challenge" thing was after alec had hung up, there was no one there, he was just talking to himself the dumb dork and it is clear there is not much at stake for him here; he isnt in love, so theres no chance of heartbreak

compare that to the way he acted during drinks with Alec in 1.06. its a completely different person. even in his posture, the way he looks at Alec and moves around him, his facial expressions, theres a softness and vulnerability that just wasnt there at any point before (did yall thank Harry Shum Jr for ur rights today? seriously the man is such a great actor his talent is unbelievable). and for magnus to allow himself to be vulnerable- well, that's big. that's what he was scared of, after all. that's what has brought him hurt and made him swear off romantic relationships for so long

and he says this; he opens up to alec, a person he barely knows, tells him a little about his past, tells Alec hes unlocked something in him. it's not harmless flirting anymore, its not just a mere pursuit of someone hes casually interested in; theres something way, way deeper going on, and this is abundantly clear throughout the whole scene and every single one of magnus' actions. magnus has fallen. this is serious now; hes feeling things he didnt even remember how to, and his entire demeanor changes.

and look, that's really important to me, okay, because i hate the whole love at first sight thing. so when i started watching sh, i was kind of turned off from malec because i was like "oh theyre gonna suddenly fall in love for no reason" but no. that's not what happened. they had attraction, and chemistry, yes, for sure, definitely, but the feelings that sparked inside of them were very much real and solid and built organically, even if quickly. malec is so powerful because their attraction and devotion to each other makes sense, and because their relationship is so trusting, happy, fun, and healthy.

so lets go to 1.06 - the defining moment, the big game changer for the both of them. i know the exact milisecond magnus falls in love - its this one

(gif isnt mine, i had it saved on my phone and dont remember who made it; if you do, please let me know so i can credit them)

bitch, you are seeing it happen!!! you're watching it, right now!! the way he looks up and his whole face changes; he goes from heavy breaths to these little puffs of air, looks up at alec in awe, and it's all over his face, the softness in his features, the open vulnerability hes showing for the very first time in the entire show - even when he was almost running out of magic, he still looked way more put together than he does in this moment; in here he is open, he has no masks, and hes absolutely soft and open and vulnerable. and you can see it dawn on him too, the realisation that he let alec in, just late enough for it to be too late. it's done. god, i cant fucking believe harry shum jr invented acting. like holy shit, dude

and alec sees it too; in this moment he looks down and he sees the vulnerability in magnus' face and he knows this is the real magnus; that's what he looks like without all the walls and masks, and it's just- beautiful. incredible. you can see the love and the softness inside of him and it's just so easy to find a home in those eyes of his, and ugh, i might be changing my mind, this was the moment alec fell in love too

but anygays, why now, right? what was the big gamechanger in this scene?

well, first of all, id like to stress again, just for good measure, that magnus was already well on his path to recovery from abuse and beginning to open up again; his journey through finding self love and strength to stand on his own feet and be able to open himself for others is his and his alone. alec could be his perfect match (and he is) (fuck it i dont care they are perfect for each other, i never really thought there was such a thing even in fictional couples but shit dude they really are as perfect as it gets, malec truly invented love its unbelievable) and it still wouldnt matter if magnus wasnt ready not only to open up, but to get in a relationship as his own person, and not putting himself down like with camille. of course, he still has a long way to go, and recovery is not a straight line, so he still does things like not tell him when hes hurt and downplay his own pain so as not to "annoy" him or whatever, but he is on equal ground. the very first thing that happens when they finally get together (after the whole wedding ordeal) is, they fight. because alec was being an asshole and treated magnus badly and was really rude and magnus was hurt and he was tired of always being the one to chase after Alec, and he told him that. that's extremely important, because it establishes that Magnus isnt just running after Alec or doing anything for him - he wants a mutually fulfilling relationship and hes willing to fight for it, demand it, not accept less than it. and that's fucking recovery right here, folks. it's so hard for previously abused people to do that. so hard. it still is hard for him, but hes doing it. so, again: Magnus' journey to opening up and finding space for a healthy relationship in his life is his and his alone. and they were lucky as shit to have met when they did.

so, with that being said: 1.06 (god, this answer is such a mess, im ndjdjdidicn). you can see magnus fall in love, right then and there. the moment it happens: when he falls, and realises Alec is still holding him, making sure hes steady. not just that, but holding his hand (despite that being totally unnecessary now), and asking him if he's okay.

it's really unsubtle symbolism (and i mean that in the best possible way): Alec holding him when he fell symbolizes support; holding his hand symbolizes caring, because he could just hold him as to not let him fall, but the fact that hes holding his hand shows that hes trying to support him not just physically, but emotionally; and asking if hes okay shows genuine worry and desire to listen to his needs. again, really unsubtle; but fuck it, that's also part of what makes it powerful, because when was the last time magnus had that, that open caring and supporting and reaching out for him? i mean, obviously Magnus has his friends who are amazing and great to him, but this feeling, of being cared for, so easily, so openly, so obviously, from someone who barely knows him, hell, from a shadowhunter - this is new. both because he hasnt really allowed it - after all, you need to fall for someone to catch you - and because he just. hasnt had that. every time before, when he showed vulnerability, he had his wounds open wide and used against him - with asmodeus after his mom, with Camille after whatever happened that made him consider suicide. and then suddenly this guy shows up, and Magnus didnt even mean to be vulnerable in front of him, not really, he was supposed to hold it, but he does and what he finds is just- caring. worrying. sweetness. a grounding presence and touch. alec is completely focused on him, and isnt rushing him to get back on his feet or anything - hes just holding him and being there for him. he wasnt even looking for it, and suddenly there it is - that trust and reciprocity hed been craving for so long.

and yeah, its unsubtle, but that's also there in more subtle ways; magnus asks for his help, and alec comes without questioning, even if he's mad with pretty much everyone involved. he asks Alec to give him his strength, and he does, openly, without walls - dude, that is so intimate, and you can see how easily the magic flows between them; that's something that can only happen so smoothly if the required trust is given without a second thought. alec is giving his life force to this guy, whom he barely knows, and he doesnt hold back at all - Magnus needs it, he gives it. easy, simple. trusting. an open, clear connection. hes worried about Magnus from the start; he gets in and his first reaction is yelling for magnus and kneeling beside him to make sure hes okay. hes already kind of holding magnus even before magnus falls; he puts himself in a position where hes kind of supporting magnus' weight, and just focuses on giving magnus what he needs. up to this point no one even bothered to ask magnus what he needs. and look, Alec isnt perfect, and he definitely still has his prejudices and ignorance at this point, but this is something special. having someone just give it their all to make sure ur okay, from the get-go, trusting you like that- that's not everyday. specially not for magnus. I think maybe Magnus wouldnt even have lowered his guard enough to have that stumble if Alec hadnt been so easily showing him hes in there together with him, as equals, without so much as a second thought- magnus' persona is polished. hes been through worse without stumbling both before and after. his guard was already down, because Alec had been showing himself to be trustworthy from the start.

and after that, it just keeps going. alec helps him clean up his apartment, without being asked, long after everyone else has already gone - he listens to Magnus talk about his past, attentively, without judgement. he even shows some vulnerability of his own - that fucked-stupid smile when magnus raised his hand to his lips, the glances he throws magnus' way, the way he even manages to talk a bit about his insecurities and confusion; hes opening himself up to Magnus, too. hes smitten. hes interested. the connection is established. he stays the night, and they end up talking all night long, despite the fact that Alec was called to work, and we dont even know about what. we know they are similarly competitive and have a good chemistry, so clearly this was a good, fun talk; but theres something running way deeper in there, too. magnus is showing alec a lot of himself, and alec is not only welcoming it, but reciprocating it as best as he can. that moment of spark isnt gone; it keeps growing, the bond that was formed gets stronger. at this point, Magnus has fallen (i firmly believe that he fell in that exact moment he looked up at Alec) but it gains shape and strength during that night and talk; its a little frustrating because Alec cant face what he wants, but the pull is real and strong enough for it to get stronger, the shapes clearer.

so- yeah. Magnus fell for Alec in 1.06, the moment he realised that he was willing to have his back, to see him as he was and welcome it and treat it with care; and to give him back in return. Magnus fell for Alec when he realised that, somehow, he had already formed the beginnings of a bond with him - the kind that's solid, that means trust and care and effort while also being easy, fun, nice. alec fell for magnus when he looked at him and saw someone that was also struggling with showing who he was, but who wasnt scared; someone who was kind, and good, and willing to listen to him and try to help him and who valued him. and that is so. fucking. important.

SO. I’ve been wanting to make one of these for a LONG TIME, but i’m horrifically bad at making these sort of sappy posts because i always forget to mention a few people when I do - but I have to do this because i’m bored and it’s 2 am and i can’t sleep.

First of all, thank you all so much for following me on all my sonic blogs. I had a rough time getting acclimated into the sonic rp fandom at first because years and years of ‘bad sonic ocs’ honestly kind of scared me away from the roleplaying side on tumblr, but then the more i dabbled into it the more i started to like it. I ended up finding people who wrote the characters better than the games themselves, and OC’s better than anything I could possibly find on something like deviantart or... god forbid any other notorious furry site.

So I wanted to make this post as a big thank-you to several members of the community who’ve made my time spent here a fucking blast and have given me all the encouragement I need to continue writing and developing the characters I write on all these blogs. I also wanna take a moment to mention a couple of people I think inspire me to stay in this community? Because good god, some of you are fucking incredible.

Mentions below the cut.

@dieviskais / @solfading & @ofsoleanna (AND ALL OF P.P’S OTHER BLOGS) & @exignium (AND ALL OF CWOW’S OTHER BLOGS) @two-fluffy-tails & literally just the entire battle bus server bc wow there are a lot of u. : Thank u all so much for providing me with a nice place to hang out and talk about serious and dumb stuff with, thank u for all the laughs and moments we shared together on call, and sincerely thank u for all the fun fucking threads we’ve had as well as the shitposts we’ve endured together. I love each and every one of u, don’t u forget it.

@antibadnik & @fortruechaos & @chaoslent : rain, ren, aura, every time we interact with each other its either the heaviest shit or something completely fucking wack, and honestly, i’m all for it. All of the threads I’ve had with yall have been an absolute blast to write and i’m so happy I get to spend time with you all in the little group chat we have. I know Aura hasn’t been around but i’m still gonna shittalk her and say that you three (aura included u can FIGHT ME) have writing that honestly makes me so fucking elated to read every time i see you guys on my dash. you all write so gd well and i can’t help but go through our threads every now and again and find things that i love about the way you portray your characters. thank u all so much for existing.

@pistolbitten : Tycho gets one all to himself because i said so. Dude, you and I have been writing for a LONG ASS TIME. Been a few years now and you and I have seriously been plotting some of the most dopest shit i could ever imagine. A lot of the times when I plot things they dont usually happen because the plot is either forgotten about or processed and refined into something completely different, but every time you and i think about shit we just HOP ON THAT and start milking every last bit of it out and honestly? I fucking love that. You have such good writing and the way you’ve written every character i’ve seen you write has been absolutely incredible and honestly I’m honored I even get to call you a friend. You’re such a talented dude and I really hope I can meet you IRL one day so we can just hang out and shitpost all over the place. Love ya’ dude, stay strong <3

@masterprotector / @skyfcx : Aaron, aaron, aaron. where do i even fucking begin with u. You mother fucker. You and I have such good history writing characters that mesh so fucking well with each other. Spark and Rosalina? Whisper and rosalina? Whisper and Knuckles? Proxy and Knuckles? NEO AND ROSALINA? TIKAL AND KNUCKLES? LIKE DUDE. You write so fucking well and every time I see you active on my dash it’s like a breath of fresh air. I’m so glad you’re in this community because you shine a light on me every time I feel like reading something that’ll either tear me apart or make me laugh. You write  your characters so damn well and I’m extremely glad you consider me that much of a friend. Thank u for indulging me on all of my ridiculous shit <33

@chaosbcrne & @heroquills : You two are like two peas in a fucking pod. I love the dynamic between sonic and shadow and i love how much you two have developed both characters since I first started following you. Seeing you both on my dash always makes me happy because you two always seem so eager to contribute to dash shenanigans and add another layer of icing onto an already sweet cake. Having you in this community is a fucking blast and I’m really thankful yall exist. Much love to the two of you and your excellent takes on both characters <3

OKAY MY FUCKING EYES ARE GETTING TIRED NOW so i’m gonna end it off here, but just know that if we’re mutuals i appreciate you so very fucking much. If I had the patience I’d tag every other one of you and include you in a nice long list of people i’ve come to admire in this community, but for now just accept my fucking love because yall are the reason i’m even still in this community at all. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. IF YOU’VE INDULGED ME IN THE PAST CHANCES ARE I LOVE YOU.

nevermind fuck it i’m tagging a few of yall i can think of right off the bat AGAIN IM SORRY IF I FORGET ANY BUT LIKE... ITS 2 AND IM TIRED PLS DONT BE OFFENDED

@team-phantom @fishing-purple-cat @lnfinitc @lightdash @lunafading @chaosblcst @wrld-heroes @enrichedheart @rosehammcr @projectlightfox @the-twinventors @anaerchy @atangledfate @debasxrr @fastest-hedgy-sonic @glittcrngcld @hoverskates @xochimili @bunniedrabbot @ncvabcrn @two-evil-tails

OKAY THATS IT GOODNIGHT FOLKS. LOVE U

TWRP + The Protomen Concert

So I just wanna infodump about the TWRP concert tonight before I forget everything (walls upon walls of text under the cut, youve been warned)

So it was a 1hr 45min drive up to Richmond and it was a fairly nice drive aside from the inevitable traffic. I listened to TWRP’s discography minus TTT because time. About 30 minutes into the drive I’m singing along, dancing a little, and then I realize. I forgot. My fucking. Tickets. Left em right at home. Fuck. So it takes me 20 minutes to overcome the shock and try to figure out what to do. I didn’t have enough time to turn around and drive back, but the interstate was too narrow and going too fast for me to pull over and figure out what to do so I kept driving and hoping that I was gonna figure it out when I got there. So the rest of the drive goes smoothly, not too much traffic, and I didn’t get lost after I exited the interstate! I got a spot on the lot right next to the venue so I didn’t have to walk at all which was awesome. So I get down to the end of the line and say, “Is this where the cool people are? Haha!” y’know, like a nerd, and I start talking to the people in line with me. And I shit you not, before I even get to say much, the person in front of me goes, “Hey, do you need an extra ticket?” Like, holy shit, really? How fucking lucky was I! I get in line right behind a person who has an extra ticket and they offer it before I even say anything. What a godsend. So I relax finally and enjoy talkin to the folks in line and try not to piss myself because I’ve had half a bottle of water and a smoothie in the past 2 hours.

So it turns 6 and the doors open and we come flooding in, I get to use the bathroom and the head over to the stage to secure a spot. I get about 3 or 4 people between me and the stage and I’m pretty content because it’s the closest I’ve ever gotten to the stage at a concert before.  Then I feel a tap on my shoulder and this guys says hi and gestures to my shirt (I was wearing the shirt for NSP’s Tour de Force tour) and asked which show I went to. Apparently we both went to the one at silver spring which was sick and we started talking about our mutual love of TWRP and a bunch of other stuff. He (collin was his name, im pretty sure?) was super sweet and nice and easy to talk to and we both went hoarse because we talked for the whole hour we were waiting for the show to start lol. He actually had some cough drops bc he was overcoming a cold and gave me one which was super nice.

SO the lights dim and the boys come out one by one, Havve, Meouch, Phobos, then Sung on his stupid hoverboard that I love. And they start playing Back in Town and I’m like o FUCK and they play generous dimensions and im like fuck yeah and they do their dumb schtick that never gets old “that was song #5, and next is song #11, and song #11 goes out to all the ladies out here tonight” and like a sucker i laugh and cheer every time. the setlist is super fuzzy for me but they played life party and i kinda almost cried cause god i really love that song a lot. and they played this like, holy shit amazing medley of a bunch of their songs all the way from 2nite to TTT and i totally wasnt expecting it at all but it was really amazing, i wish i had recorded the whole thing (fingers crossed that someone else has) but they played parts of pale blue dot which is my fave TWRP song and thats all i wanted and needed. ladyworld was awesome, and ending it with all night forever was absolutely perfect, kinda tying the whole set together with the beginning and end of return to wherever. TWRPs whole set was phenomenal and i had so much fun dancing and singing along. i didnt wanna blink the whole time because i wanted to see everything i could and they were just great and i gotta stop talkin about them cause im just gonna end up in a loop saying how much i love TWRP and how amazing they were tonight. 

but then. the protomen come out. and they play phantom racer. and just. holy. fucking. shit. twrp has such a chill vibe and their energy is good but the second the protomen came out the energy went from 100 to a MILLION. twrp and protomens performance of phantom racer was just. amazing. no, amazing is an understatement, but theres really no words to describe just how fucking fantastic they both were together. i wish i could relive that song over and over again forever. the feeling of absolute joy and excitement and happiness i felt during that performance is something i wish i could bottle and experience forever.

so onto the protomen. i had never listened to any of their music before the concert other than phantom racer. but holy SHIT. they fucking rocked it. i was blown away by how talented everyone was. the two lead singers were powerful and amazing, the music was just, *italian finger kiss* MWAH that good shit, like, tomorrow i gotta listen to all their music because every single song they played i immediately loved. and i cant neglect to mention their stage presence. these guys were so cool and intense and their whole vibe was so fuckin rockin. i mean, the metallic gray facepaint and bandanas and sunglasses and masks and helments and robot gun arms????? fuck YEAH!!!!! like i had hopeful expectations for the protomen but they blew me outta the fucking water holy shit. seriously i regret that i didnt listen to them beforehand or i woulda been headbanging so hard. also at the end one of the guys stage dove and i almost got to touch him but i was scared to get under him cause im not very strong and i didnt wanna drop a whole man onto myself. but yeah they were sick.

oh and speaking of headbanging there were a few dudes in front me who were SO energetic and pumped for the protomen like, it was infectious. they danced so hard and they like did this little dance with a couple other people that kinda reminded me of a ska dance?? like yknow the one where you just kinda kick your legs?? idk but they seemed to be having a lot of fun and it made me smile. they also had a 4 person mosh pit and i got knocked around a few times (its okay, i know how it is getting really excited and a lil too rowdy, i was fine) but like those dude were so fun and their excitement was so infectious i couldnt help but smile and have more fun. i got to talk with them some while we were in line for merch and since i was there for TWRP and they were there for the protomen we both gushed about how much we loved each band with all our hearts. they were also super sweet and walked me to my car because i was anxious to walk alone in a city that id never been to before.

so yeah!! tonght was an amazing experience that i hope to never forget. i met some super nice people and talked myself hoarse and had such an amazing time and im so glad that everything turned out how it did. thank you to twrp, the protomen, the broadberry staff, that one person in line, collin, and those two rockin protomen fans for making tonight a wonderful and perfect night.

turning this back on you but are there any totally new things you've really enjoyed this year?

okay as a screenwriting major i am cONSTANTLY driven to consume new content so let me try and think what i’ve really enjoyed this year. i’ll probably forget a lot of stuff

well obviously you already know i’ve gotten into spop! after ages of just avoiding it because i didn’t want to deal with the seemingly voltron-esque fandom. and i’m glad i eventually got around to it because i ended up really really enjoying the characters and the worldbuilding and it’s honestly so COOL to see a kids fantasy show done by an lgbt creator and just… how that influences so many small things i might’ve taken for granted

i also recently watched the boys on amazon prime. it’s kind of like this gritty… superhero deconstruction, i guess?? in a period of time where i kind of feel that superheroes… need to be deconstructed. anyway it is EXTREMELY edgy but, again, i really liked the worldbuilding and what it was trying to do and it pretty much gripped me from start to finish

oh aaaand over the course of the summer i did finally get around to checking out the killing eve novels!  which was a really fun experience just, comparing and contrasting them to the show. they don’t have like… the show’s effortless charm and humor but they are REALLY fun spy thrillers with a very interesting, different interpretation of eve and villanelle as characters. the author wrote them eventually running away together and apparently frequently posts on twitter about how they’d probably own cats instead of having children. and he gave eve two pet pygmy goats, thelma and louise (collectively known as “the girls”). so really luke jennings is my kind of guy. 

oh speaking of, i also checked out fleabag, which is phoebe waller-bridge’s other most beloved show. it was… god, i feel like i cannot do fleabag justice by pitching it in only a few lines, but i feel like it’s something everyone should watch. it’s just… so funny and unapologetic in that way pwb is so good at, but also incredibly poignant and bittersweet and intelligent. like just. QUALITY quality television. fleabag is so good. and it’s a very short watch

i also (gasp) watched rwby this year! which i probably never would have done on my own (and no, @ everyone you’re still not allowed to rec me anime just because i liked it.) but i have some rp friends who are big into it and a couple of their portrayals just… really made me fall in love with the characters, so i decided i wanted to see them in canon! as you know im the kind of person who like, TOTALLY glazes over during extended fight scenes, and it has a lot of those, but i ended up being fond of it anyway just cause it has so much… heart and lots of COOL LADIES with focus on their relationships

movie wise i think my favorite thing that’s come out this year was midsommar, which is by the same guy who did hereditary. it’s sort of this… folk horror/fairy tale/break up movie/revenge fantasy combo and i don’t really know how to rec it because ari aster’s movies are SO intense on so many different levels, but is a GORGEOUS, visceral film that i really connected with and also just drooled over a lot from a filmmaker’s perspective,

then my favorite new thing to come out of hbo this year was chernobyl, which… hoh boy, chernobyl. what can i even say. it’s such a well made, respectful, NECESSARY retelling of a very important event in human history that’s still… very relevant in so many ways today. it’s just harrowing to watch at times but it’s also one of those things where i’m like, in awe of how good it is, and i LOVE just… idk, learning about history, so i was big into it

brief shoutout to slasher solstice which i just remembered existed. i guess i’ll count it as a new thing because slasher is like, an anthology series, so totally new story. it was some dumb campy bullshit but i had so much fun watching it

oh my god. and that reminds me i have to include. DEMONS.  sorry for putting that in all caps and bold, i realize that looks kind of threatening. i was just gonna mention “yeah josh and i have been watching some more dario argento movies lately” but no i need to mention demons specifically, which is like, one of the funniest, campiest, gory horror franchises from the 80′s i have ever fucking seen in my life. these movies are so. SO weird. and silly. but i’ve been like fucking obsessed with them ever since we sat down and watched the first one

uhh what else… i started luther and enjoyed what i saw of it a lot, i should watch more of that…

oh to include a podcast, i’ve been listening to this podcast will kill you on and off! it’s done by two med students and each episode is about a different infectious disease and i know that SOUNDS weird but listen i am learning SO much. did you know that wwii was in part indirectly caused by the spanish influenza pandemic? did you know that werewolf and vampire lore was largely drawn from people’s fear of rabies? did you know that the smallpox vaccine was the first one ever created and before that, people didn’t think vaccinations worked? NOW YOU DO. it’s kind of morbid but i’m like, SO interested in the history of disease and how it affected human society and it goes into a lot of that kind of stuff

i didnt want to say this before but man.. Danny kind of.. sucks, at least in the heart of canon. i get that he's young and learns "Those Valuable Lessons" and but people dont acknowledge most of this douchebag's shitty antics cause he's a cute boy or whatever. although Danny has a very excellent premise for a character, he is sincere sometimes, but overall its not executed well. he falls into too many awful high school tropes

i guess im glad people are making use of his character premise by reading too closely than the show intended, or by making content of their own interpretations. but we cant ignore that he is quite a goddamned piece of hell shit who i fucking hate in the real show sometimes. i feel there’s just too much emphasis on a character and show that wasn’t well crafted and well managed to begin with. its kinda sad when all the hate is somehow directed towards other characters like Sam.

it feels like most people are praising him and the overall show for what they imagine it to be instead of what it actually is. srsly this awful goddamned fuckboy sells stuff garage lab items he aint supposed to just to buy some fucking clothes??? uses ghost powers to spy girls in their locker room?? he fuckin destroys ghost writer’s writing and then doesnt feel sorry about it just cause it’s christmas-related and he’s so pissy about it.

so.. yeah. i dont get why people think he’s literal kid Jesus and always wants to protect this little fucker. he puts himself in alot of mess. the “D” on his suit stands for “dick”, bc that’s what he is.  i want to beat him up sometimes

Okay.

Normally, I delete all character hate on sight, because the point of my blog is to focus on the show’s strengths and how the weaknesses could’ve been done better. I get critical sometimes, but I like focusing on a characters’ strengths rather than their poor writing and garbage like that.

This was so long, detailed, and harsh that it’s really hard to ignore. Maybe I should. Stick to my guns and not let some anonymous rant change how I work. You came to me, though, so if you want to debate this, then alright. I’ll bite.

First off, who in the fandom is portraying Danny as a kid Jesus? Maybe it’s just the circles I’m familiar with, but one of the most reblogged posts that pops up in my notifications is one with a ton of additions arguing why Danny totally deserves to suffer. The majority of the fandom loves tormenting this kid. Even those that do say he needs to be protected never claim he has no flaws. Far from it. They just acknowledge he has it hard for a kid and he deserves a break sometimes.

Second, have you ever…met a 14 year old? As someone who spent most of his career life working with kids and who is the oldest of 5 (with one brother who’s turning 14 this November), lemme tell you that the main trio are saints for their age.

People talk about the terrible twos, but 14 year olds are so much worse. I’m not slamming them, because it makes sense. They’re in a tough transition period between childhood and adulthood. Adults tell them to act more mature, but refuse to acknowledge their voices in serious situations. Middle school and high school are cutthroat places, and one mistake can ruin the entirety of the four-six years you spend there. They’re pressured to get good grades or they’ll fail, they have to be part of the cool crowd or they’ll fail, and people are more likely to blame them for whatever goes wrong in their lives than anything that goes on around them.

Doesn’t change the fact that they can be little demons sometimes. With all the hormones and drama, young teenagers can be really emotional and make problems bigger than they seem. They can be harsh and judgmental, because that’s the environment they’re being exposed to. They need guidance, but they don’t want it. They argue with adults and to some, it seems like they want to make their own lives miserable. They can be tough to work with unless you’re willing to take them as seriously as they take themselves, and most people don’t want to bother.

There are shitty things Danny does in canon, but that’s true for literally every fourteen year old. And heck, are you telling me you didn’t do some ridiculously stupid stuff at that age? I actually stole money from my folks to buy something I wanted. My group of friends frequently set stuff on fire in their backyards. And fuck, nobody can prove Danny was spying on girls in the locker room. While I think the scene is shit and refuse to accept it as canon, all we see is Danny coming out of the locker room. He could’ve been just looking to see what it was like in there. Nothing says there were actually girls in there. But I’m so sick of talking about that shit scene, so I’m gonna leave it at that.

Danny has flaws. He can be selfish and petty and inconsiderate. But really? You wanna beat him up for that?

Are you forgetting that he canonically already does get beaten up every single episode? Whether it’s by ghosts, bullies, his own goddam parents, or whatever, getting beat up is something he’s familiar with.

The reason some fans cut him some slack is because, hey, yeah. He is a kid, and you know what? He’s entitled to be a dick sometimes. He loses sleep every night, almost dies on a daily basis, has his dreams ripped away from him often, and is picked on at school. Despite all of that, he still fights ghosts to keep his town safe, and he’s under no obligation to do that. He saves lives, even when people hate him for it. He puts himself in danger, even for those who are cruel to him. He tries to use his powers for the right reason more often than not, and he’ll take the high road against his bully because he feels like he shouldn’t stoop to his level.

We acknowledge that canon can be shit. We acknowledge that sometimes, Danny’s writing makes him out to be a dick. At the “heart of canon,” though, as you so eloquently put it, he’s the kid who risked his life for a little girl he barely knew that nobody else would miss. He’s the one who saves the lives of his own bully, the teacher who used to be so hard on him, and the parents he fully believes would cut him open if they knew what he was. He’s the one who could so easily be Vlad, but instead he tries his best to be a hero.

You’re under no obligation to like him, and you don’t have to ignore the shitty parts of canon like some of us do. I do it just because I enjoy thinking about what the show could’ve been, not what it was. You don’t have to do that, though.

But really, are you going to march into your nearest high school and beat the shit out of the first kid you see messing up? Seriously? You honestly think that the mistakes Danny makes outweigh the good he’s constantly trying to do enough that he deserves that? Even when he already gets beat up in every single episode already?

Well, fine. That’s your pessimistic opinion. It’s not fact, though. How many cartoons do you watch? You gonna beat up Timmy Turner and Jimmy Neutron, too? They can be right assholes. What about Jake Long? He’s a shallow, obnoxious, irresponsible kid a lot of the time. Sure, he’s just 13, but why should we show mercy to kids who mess up? Serena/Usagi from Sailor Moon? Yeah, let’s ignore all the people defending her and just focus on the fact that the show makes her a dumb kid who doesn’t have enough backbone to immediately become the savior of the galaxy. Come to think of it, where’s your rant about Dash Baxter? Or is he not popular enough for you to rag on?

Perfect characters aren’t the ones who are the most upstanding. They’re the ones who are realistic and flawed. So Danny sells his parents stuff. So he sneaked into the girls’ locker room. So he took out his anger on an innocent person.

I’m not saying any of those things weren’t wrong, what I’m saying is that kids make fucking mistakes. And sometimes, they’re huge ones. Sometimes, kids get curious and break into a house. Sometimes they get hungry at the store and shoplift. Sometimes they lie and cheat and make fun of each other. Sometimes they can be perverted little leaches.

So fucking what? We’ve all been there. We all need to learn and grow.

And seriously, if you’re going to be one of those people who gives Sam a break, don’t turn around and start criticizing Danny for the same shitty writing he sometimes gets. That hypocrisy is exactly why I so adamantly defend Sam.

I don’t know what you wanted to accomplish with these asks. Maybe you just wanted to vent. Maybe you were looking to stir up drama. Maybe you don’t know what you wanted and you just sent these asks randomly without any real reason.

Regardless of what you think, I’m still gonna enjoy my fucking fictional character, even if I don’t always agree with how he’s written. I relate to him, his struggles, and even his mistakes. You have fun ripping on characters people like because you don’t think they should be allowed to make mistakes, but let the rest of us have our fun, too. You’re not helping anyone with this, so maybe just fuck off, m’kay?

Being stupidly nice is kind of my thing, but I’m tired of putting up with this self righteous crap. Let characters fuck up. Let fans rewrite things they don’t like. Let people enjoy their fucking cartoon, because they aren’t hurting anyone. I’ve yet to find a single phan who considers the DP cartoon to be completely canon anyway. They enjoy it for the fan content or the few really spot on episodes. We’re already aware that there’s shitty stuff in there, and we don’t need you to tell us.

If I ever get any asks like this that rip on characters for stupid, petty reasons again, I’m deleting them on sight. That was my initial plan anyway, but I really needed to say my piece here.

Tumblr, maybe stop being such judgmental pieces of fucking shit, okay? You’ll accomplish nothing good by being so harsh toward anything that doesn’t fit your standard of “perfect.”

Kyle Woodward’s final blog post from Southern Africa. My visa issue finally got resolved, albeit with quite a lot of effort and frustration on my part. Unfortunately they couldn't swap my business visa for a tourist visa while in the country and the only way to fix it was to leave the country and come back in. Luckily Zimbabwe is just a 10 minutes drive to the border. It also just happens that the Zambia/Zimbabwe border is right at Victoria Falls. The border bridge is a tourist attraction, where people zip-line across the gorge and bungee jump off the bridge. Walking across the bridge with Victoria Falls as a backdrop was an unexpexted and surreal moment, and i made sure to take my time walking across both ways. It was a much needed stress reliever. The Falls are so close to you as you walk toward the Zimbabwe border post that the mist creates a perpetual light rain. Having not seen or felt rain in 2 months I was very confused at first. Since i got my necessary tasks done on Friday, I decided to go see the Falls properly all day on Saturday. I was going to be a tourist for a day, so exciting! On Saturday I had a relaxing morning and got a shuttle to the Victoria Falls Park entrance. I met another friend from the same hostel, and we hiked all the trails together. The Knife's Edge trail leads you out on a narrow peice of land thats been carved away by the Falls over time. It's the closest you can get to the Falls, and when you get out onto the edge you are completely soaked in a matter of seconds. Its like walking into a category 1 hurricane: the force of the water falling into the gorge creates a powerful uplift of air that shoots the trailing mist straight back to the top of the gorge, creating a barrage of wind and rain. There is no escape, and we willingly walked out to meet it in our bare feet and cheap ponchos. It is one of the best 20 bucks ive ever spent, and somehow my passport didn't even get wet. On our way down a separate trail to the bottom of the gorge, we were ambushed by a massive male baboon. We learned quite quickly that its not wise to carry food or drinks out in the open in this park because of these guys. We dropped our bottles of soda in order to avoid being mauled. It was actually terrifying in the moment but we laughed about it later. It was pretty funny watching this baboon open our soda bottles, dump out a ton of orange Fanta and sit there slurping it off the ground. On Sunday I went to the bus station at noon to catch my bus back to Sesheke, only to find out that the 12:00 bus i had purchased a seat on had left at 10:30 just because it got there early. It was another lesson in how things work out here: Disorder and unreliable public services create enough inevitable inconveniences in day to day life that society has adapted in order to provide quick and easy solutions. One of the bus company managers immediately took my money back from the attendant and drove me in his own car to the outskirts of town where a bunch of vans wait all day to give rides at the same or cheaper rate. He paid the van driver my bus money, I hopped in, and within a half hour we were on the way to Sesheke. We even got there right around the same time my bus would have. I met up with Michael and one of our enumerators in the afternoon and we drove back up to Sioma District for the night. The next day we drove the 1.5 hour journey into the bush to Makande. The drive seems to take forever as we creep along through a narrow sandy track, dodging trees and trying not to get stuck. Even with a 4wd truck it's not easy to get to by any means, yet people live here the same way as those right on the tar road in Lusu, Kaale, and Kalobolelwa. It's a remarkable thing seeing these communities operate with little to no outside aid. The idea that one can create and maintain their entire livelihood from the surrounding natural resources is so foreign to me, as I presume it is for many other 'Westerners'. Your health (ability to perform manual labor) and work ethic (determination to do so) hold greatest weight in village life. Lin, Michael, and I split our enumerators into teams of 2 for the first day of household surveys, then the second day Lin and I finished the rest of the surveys and did reference samples while Michael worked on resource area mapping. It went by so quick that I found myself scrambling on the last day to take a few pictures to remember this experience by. My pictures are mediocre at best, but Im pretty sure I won't ever forget this. Our last night camping in Makande was so fun. We ended the month of work talking, joking, singing, and dancing around our campfire, trading ideas, experiences, and standing on common ground. We also chased this weird goat around that kept walking into our camp. It was the funniest thing ever. No matter how far we chased it away from our camp, it would eventually wander back and stand there just staring at us. If they make another Disney movie based in Africa (shout out Lion King), this goat needs to be the typecast dumb animal comic relief character. The long weekend was spent back in our home sweet home, Sesheke. Michael needed to finish resource area mapping in Lusu, and Lin and i decided to collect more reference samples in Kalobolelwa, so we decided to set up at our usual campground in town. We took one of our enumerators along who wants to study environmental science, and he absorbed all the vegetation and GPS stuff like a sponge. It was a really fun day just walking around, seeing different landscapes, and talking about plants. Since we were officially done with the Zambia field season by the end of that day, we got to be lazy the next day in Sesheke. We walked around the market, bought some food and gifts, learned how to play Zambian rules Checkers, and had a good dinner in town. This past Sunday turned out to be a really special day, and may turn out to be one of the most important for future research pursuits in Zambia. Henry from DNPW allowed us to come along with him into Sioma-Ngwezi NP, where they are working on re-introducing wildlife the next 4 years. They created a fenced-in 100 hectare enclosure for the animals which they use to acclimate them before releasing them into the park. They had about 180 impala and 32 buffalo that they transported there a few weeks ago, and we got to come along on their weekly check up. We got to stand in their pickup truck bed as we patrolled inside the fence perimeter, trying to spot and count all the buffalo and impala. Michael and I came up with another research idea pretty organically as we chatted about the wildlife re-introduction process and the ways they currently monitor wildlife numbers in the park. The folks at DNPW and WWF sound quite keen to begin some research collaboration this coming year with us, and I'm glad Michael and I prioritized time to build those relationships. On Monday we said goodbye to Lin as she headed back to Botswana, then Michael and I drove to Livingstone. Having been in Livingstone last weekend, I already knew what it was like, so it was really great seeing Michael be totally blown away by all the city people, restaurants, shops, and 2 story buildings. We had fun wandering around, getting lost, and eating a ton of really good food. We have a special place in our hearts for Sesheke, but it is by no means a city. The fact that Sesheke ever felt like a city to us speaks to how much time we have spent in remote areas of rural Zambia. We felt like the Zambian village children this time, amazed to see so many white people in one place. I'm writing this on my flight back home and reflecting on all of the new and unique experiences I've had these past two months: flying drones in the Chobe river floodplain in Botswana, digging ourselves out of the sand more times than i can count, being immersed in village life and the language, playing sports with village children in Kapau and Makande, crossing international borders on my own, learning to drive stick in Zambia, and many others. They've all offered an opportunity to learn, challenge my own paradigms, and grow into a more worldly and introspective person. Southern Africa has given me so much, and I am eager to give back in any way an academic researcher can. I am so grateful to Dr. Pricope and all of the KAZAVA collaborators for supporting me and allowing me into their network. Michael gets a special shout out; we started out as two unacquainted grad students working on the same project, but by experiencing all the challenges and joys of a productive field season, we became both an unstoppable duo and great friends. I'm excited to pursue some of the research ideas we have developed in Zambia together. Lastly, for anyone who has not yet stepped foot on the African continent, this is my 5 star recommendation. It turns out Africa is huge and offers so much to the new traveller: the diverse cultures, the wildlife, and spectacular landscapes. I've only seen small parts of 3 countries, but I'm obsessed now. Africa will be high on my list for travelling the rest of my life, and I will do everything I can to get family and friends to experience it as well. Kyle Woodward.

There’s really a lot to say

im a bit tired and drained right now to go into detail of my experience the past two days, but i’ll try to sum it all up accurately. so basically drank and smoked a lot with my time with elena and kevin, having the withdrawals of that, it was basically a night and day i did that with them. i’ve just been feeling a slight depression but it’s in my own head. at first i was not happy with being here, but now I'm a  bit imbalanced about it, i leave in like a day and im feeling sad, i want to stay here longer. it’s in my gut. i want to be with my parents more, i fell like i didnt serve them as much as i’d like to, anytime not spent with them i look back and realized i somewhat failed. but here i go being harsh on them. it is all a lesson, and i realized i much rather be with my folks out of anyone. last night i was at book people in my head being extremely depressed and reaching to others for my own happiness, i realized it isn't the right thing to do, but i couldn't help it. being let down didnt help either, everyone had a valid excuse to not have time available to me, but i then created more pity for myself. until i reached my last resort, akash to basically walk around and hang with me downtown. it was amazing . i had so much fun. my ego was fulfilled bc i put make up that day and just felt too good looking to go home (seriously), so i showed off my body and materialistic self, my shell, bc we walked along 6th street , and i also fed my knowdlge, or should i say he did. we talked so much about guitars, or should i say he did. he taught me so so so so much . just like the last time we hung out. i misjudge him sometimes bc he usually talks a lot about himself and things i do not really care about, but recently i’ve been experiencing moments with him that I'm  just being fed so much knwodlege. we talked about so much, he knows soooo much, especially about guitars. how they work, whats what, the history,,philosophy and anatomy and structure and brands. so amazing. made my night. i learned about hum bucker, one of the most fun things i learned. i love the science and structure and energy about it. we literally were outside a venue and saw a heavy psychedelic show through a small window, and he saw that it was a les paul with a hum bucker, and thats how the conversation started. so sick, cant wait to see him tomorrow. my interest for guitars grew. i tried to watch more and learn more and listen to hendrix more (of course) on the way home. now talk about today. went to work with mom today,, i was a bit imbalanced and dragged and feeling a bit depressed, i feel so bad, my energy was not on top of its game in the morning, but i respect and accept it bc i only had a few hours of sleep and i didnt do yofa or anything. my mom is so cute, we watched a few youtube videos of soul train and james brown and the jackson 5, it was so fun we laughed a lot. i was so inspired. and she put the jackson 5 movie for me while she worked. after a few hours i felt very unproductive which led to more stress and depression, and i was sassy and negative energy towards her and quiet. but i did yoga in a little room and put a negative blockage release music on youtube and did like 5-10 min yoga in there before beverly took us to lunch . i was a bit upset too bc last encounter i had with beverly was not so fun. i had the same experience of drunk and high withdrawals and was just so out of energy to maintain how much she talks about her self. but this time was so great, I'm so glad i did a small yoga sash, i was talkative and positive and inspired. i had a said with small pasta with mama. i was inspired and pictured myself living on a mountain in colorado in trailer with a goat . a fence and the goat next to my trailer (-: then we got back and she did work in the mail room while i played funky disco and danced in the room- it was so healthy and I'm glad i got my energy up and moving. rick james, bee gees, jackson five, earth wind and fire, i jammed to all of it. then we went to guitar center and saw elliot sean pamela spencer and rob. it was such a fucking crazy experience. rob basically offered a free lesson but i gave him a decision too late but it worked out bc amazing thomas gave me a free lesson during his break for one hour AND IT KICKED SO MUCH FUCKING ASS HES SO FUCKING COOL he literally taught me so much and i love how he talks about things and he's so kick ass he talked about scales and how they relate to golden ratio he asked what do i wanna learn and i was so eager and excited bc i literally am so interested in everything right now like i want to learn so much and i got this opportunity like the universe heard my callings it was so amazing i said i want to learn the anatomy and physics of a guitar and sounds of the piano and he was like ok si see you want to basically learn everything and then i said i wanted to learn fearless by pink floyd and he taught me the way carlo did with the fundamental first and showed me scales which by the way is an extremely dense and hard concept to explain to someone but i got it tonight and he just talked about so much and taught me so much and it was so fun we were laughing and it made my fuckign day it was sick and it was his break like he offered and get this tomorrow or aka today bc its 2 am i have a lesson at 3 pm with him again!!! i need to get this scale down so I'm prepared to learn the next step in learning fearless. such  cool dude. I'm gonna invite him to my going away party on friday! so many opportunities everywhere and i love it! literally i love my life like evryewhre I'm at i get an amazing opportunity. then me and mom went to torchys and the drive we talked so much and at torchys we talked and laughed so much literally love her so much she is the love of my life and the light of my life i dont know what I'm going to do without her I'm so sad i miss her already she is my best friend I'm so myself with her and we laugh so much we cracked so many dumb jokes and at torchsy i was basicallyy yelling from laughter and she loves me so so much she was so happy for me when i got the lesson and she put soul train for me and jackson 5 while she worked fuck i got so lucky wit her and she supported and suggested i do yoga in this room bc i told her i need it but in a bitchy way god damn i love this woman. we went to half price then i went to kierstens bc brennon invited me but i was very awkward and shy, mainly bc sam was there. just unsure. of my relationship with everyone, i got there and brennon didnt even really talk to me but nonetheless grateful he invited me but everyone was out of the pool already and it was off and i literally shaved for it and cleaned my bathing and showed up in a big shirt and just ugh i was a bit annoyed and aggravated and uncmorftbale there was so many people and i was confused and just jealous that people had a lot of stories i was never invited to bc well i was friends with all these people (sam john keirsten and brennon) before they even hung out or knew each other and now they exclude me in things and the fact that sam was there made my energy confused but it was all good he said bye to me and put me in a chokehold and i told him 1/24th of my gutisr center experience but they were all smoking and i just got back from being with my mom and learning so much so it was just awkward plus i really wanted to swim but no one would go with me its all whatever I'm going to gc tomorrow and invited sam and then spending the evening with my father he deserves it honestly i spent 0 one on one time with him and I'm sure he has a lot of good to say but i came home and ignored my negative thoughts and feelings that had to do with my ego and not showing off my shaved body or not going swimming or my overthinking of my friends and just went straight to learning the G major scale and I FEEL SO FUCKING GOOD I FUCKING LOVE THIS SHIT I LOVE LEARNING I LOVE ALL THESE FUCKING EXPERIENCES AND LESSONS AND THINGS I AM GETTING IN MY LIFE IM FEELING ALREADY SAD ABOUT LEAVING IM GOING TO MISS MY ROOM I LOVE MY ROOM I LOVE MY PRIVACY I LOVE GUITAR CENTER I LOVE LEARNING HERE I LOVE MY MOM I LOVE THIS BEAUTIFUL HOUSE I LOVE MY BEUAITULL FAMILY THIS SUMMER KICKEDSO MUCH ASS SO MUCH GRATTIDUFE UGH I MISS EVERYONE ALREADY WHAT THE HELL AM I GONNA DO WHEN I LEAVE ILLL BE OK SHIT I HAVE SUCHA  GOOD LIFE HERE AND IN SF WHAT THE FUCK i need to work on my souls growth i need to do good no more imbalanced my brother is showing me the light i have the opportunity for growth and smoking isn't helping I'm doing so good

Episode 11: “Whatever Happens Tonight...This Will End in Chaos”

So far in the remote island of Taveuni, things were looking fine. Unanimous votes were all that the eye could see. It seemed like nothing much could go wrong, but, in the words of Selena Gomez, everything is not as it seems. 

Well, first off, there was the fun auction. People won some pretty neat things; Jack E won some delicious spoiled milk, LA and Charlotte both won an advantage in the next challenge, Steven got a self-vote revealer, and Lily bought a wonderfully useless stick. A bunch of people bid on the mysterious statue because they thought it would be some advantage in the game (it wasn’t). Jack C won, and he told the tribe that it was useless, but they all thought he was lying (he wasn’t). 

The most important thing won in the auction, though, was the super fun Chaos Idol (TM)! Jordan was the lucky winner of this ugly idol, and so now he had not one but TWO special idols. And it...would have quite the effect on the course of the game.

The immunity challenge was Robot Unicorn Attack, which LA won. And she would be thankful she won immunity that round, because hoo boy. 

Jordan tells his Motomaiqi alliance about the Chaos Idol, saying that he plans to use it. LA spills the beans, though. Soon, Charlotte, Steffen, and a bunch of others try to coordinate the vote so that they all are immune. Their goal was to make a sort-of-but-not-really-blindside and rock out Lily. And then...there was Jack E. 

Jack was bored, so he decided to go on call and ally with whoever got on call with him first in the tribe chat. And that lucky winner was the other Jack! So Jack E started spilling minimal information to Jack C to try to get his trust only for Jack C to just flat out tell him about Jordan’s two idols. That’s some stunning gameplay right there, folks. 

Sometime after this, Steffen still trusts Jack E a lot, so he lets Jack E in on the plan to work around Jordan’s Chaos Idol. Jack E, though, is bored and likes to have fun, so he tells Jordan about this, everything from LA flipping and all that, and he suggests blindsiding Steffen. Jordan and Jack C agree to this, and the former decides to retract his Chaos Idol...for now.

Unfortunately, though, both plans failed that night. When Steffen saw Jordan did NOT play his Chaos Idol, he decided to play it safe and play his idol on himself. Unlike another person who played their idol, Steffen played his idol correctly, and Jack C was blindsided in a 2-1-1-1 vote, with 4 votes for Steffen cancelled. 

whew there was no secret plot to murder my ass, nice

I believe the soul fact Jack C exists in this game is to annoy me to no end and face the fact he's gonna outlast me because his social game is so fucking bad and he's up Jordo's ass

[5/11/17, 6:24:38 PM] Jack (Ginga): Life works in mysterious ways steffen [5/11/17, 6:24:46 PM] Jack (Ginga): Sometimes all it takes is a stick and a statur I dont care that I hate Jack C, that better be the title

Jack C. really thinks he's fooling everyone saying that statue does nothing. How dumb do you think I am to believe your word without any receipts especially after you popped an idol out of nowhere without telling anybody last time, why would you be honest and upfront about something this time. HM?

[5/11/17, 9:41:32 PM] Steffen Bøhn: ok so this didn’t strike me until last night but Im more than certain this is a thing now [5/11/17, 9:46:20 PM] Steffen Bøhn: but I believe that Jordan and Lily are working together, and they each have 2 trios set up, one for each of them, Jordan has Jack C and LA, and Lily has Charlotte and Tyler, this was kinda proven to me when last night Charlotte and Tyler and LA confirmed that the plan to get out Jack C wasn’t actually the plan and the whole plan all along was set up by Jordan to take out either me or Billy.  LA and I spoke and she basically confirmed this theory, along with the fact that Lily and Jordan are closely working together because I told Lily I found the extra vote, and that I had all the stamps, and low and behold Jordan suddenly knows how I have both, and apparently Jordan told his trio too because LA told me she knew.  So in the end inside those trios, Lily has Charlotte and Jordan has Jack C, if my math is correct.

Okay, so I just finished a call with Steffen and I feel like we have a solid relationship now. I was upfront with him before the vote, after Jack let slip the real plan so I told him everything basically. I told him how Lily shared everything with Jordan, basically everything he told me to build trust I was like yeah, Jordan already told me cause Lily told him. I don't think he was happy about that but now we know we can't trust Lily 100% she's working with Jordan. Now my problem is Steffen doesn't trust Charlotte either, he thinks she is Lily's second, like Jack C is Jordan's and I don't wanna be like nah, I have Char cause that will mean telling him we're friends and suddenly huge target on us.  We talked a little about the upcoming vote, whether we need to make a vote and get Lily or Jordan out or for Jack. (thank god he didn't say Char) If the vote is aimed at the other Jack or Steven, we're sort of fucked too because we need them to vote with us when we do go to make a move. It should be pretty clear that Jordan and Lily are sort of running things so hopefully we can use that to flip people.  Steffen thinks he can pull in Tyler so if we can then we should be able to do something? But Tyler also leaked the plan to Jordan so that's worrying, PEOPLE NEED TO STOP TELLING THE REAL PLAN, LIE PEOPLE, LIEEE. WE NEED TO BE A BUNCH OF LYING LIARS WHO LIE. But Char also thinks she has Tyler which isn't bad but in this case I need Tyler to trust Steffen more so he doesn't tell Lily cause once Lily knows, Jordan knows. I didn't think I would have to deal with such an important move so fast but if we don't cut someone from Jordan and Lily they have numbers through most of the game and while I could just go along with it, I'd rather play my own game not follow someone else's.  My last game, the biggest problem was not having people I really trusted and it's hard to play when you don't have some form of trust with people. I feel like I can trust Steffen and Char, although if Char turns on me I wouldn't be too shocked cause we' are Slytherins and we do what we gotta but I hope she doesn't cause we still need each other right now and doing that would put her at risk of becoming just a number and she's better than that, plus she wants Jordan gone so that helps. Also Steffen and I are pretty sure Jordan won the secret advantage so I have to hope he tells me what it is so I know what to expect. We also think either Jordan or Lily have the rainbow idol. I thought Steffen had it but now I'm not sure, he probably would have admitted it during the call.  so much to figure out.

later...

Well, this challenge was terrible. And not terrible in a 'socks with sandals kind of way' but terrible in a 'i want to rip my ears off and throw them in bleach' kind of way. Whoever decided that games don't need volume control is the worst human ever. OF COURSE I didn't find the mute button until 10PM... life is cruel. Thank god I'll be 25 next month. This is the halfway point of my life. We're almost there kids. Let me just take you through my life today. 9:15AM: Wow, this is going to be fine. I used to play this all the time in middle school, it's going to be great. 9:17AM: I love this song!! 9:26AM: Um okay that score could have been better... but it's fine, I'll get better. 9:45AM: Fuck. 10:15AM: Fuck me. 11:30AM: I hate this game. I hate this song. I hate the hosts. 12:00PM: I will pray for death. Please murder me. 1:15PM: Ha ha ha ha ha ha. 1:30PM: Ooh Harry Styles put out a new album. 6:00PM: FUCK I stopped playing. 9:00PM: k let's do this. I can do this, this is fine. 10:15PM: I can't do this. Gotta find that GIF. 10:45PM: Can't find the GIF. Forgot to submit, fuck. 10:53PM: Submitting mothafucker. 11:05PM: Found the GIF. Too little too late. Honestly I'm just glad that Jordan didn't win. This might be our opportunity to get him the fuck out of here. Honestly, I want him gone... mostly because I don't like that he cheats his way through challenges but we call it loopholes because he was 'smart' enough to outsmart or outlogic the hosts / life. Okay, I only hate him because I didn't think of it first. Otherwise, he's okay. Whatever. I'm just salty. Let me live.

I think it's SO CUTE how Steffen and I were not on good terms, and he finally "makes up" with me, telling me how he's glad we're friends again, and we're talking all the time and all this happy bullshit and he was gonna work with me, and keep me in this game, and not only was he fully aware I was leaving, he helped and voted me out. Steffen is a snake, always has been, always will be. I've never met someone who is more self centered, more conceited and more socially inept than him. He doesn't understand the concept of friendship and never will, and I'm gonna laugh when he loses this game too. Sorry I tried being your friend AGAIN and you proved to me that you're just terrible. I hope you get voted out with your idol in your pocket you dumbass. 

Long story short: We're faking the chaos idol and voting out steffen

"Better to be safe than sent home." Episode title. Ya'll are welcome. So today, the plan was to vote Jack C. Or at least, that's what I heard before all hell broke loose. Turns out, Jordan has the Chaos Idol (thanks, Lily) and he plans on using it tonight.. which means that everyone who has a vote cast AGAINST them is safe. So much for sending Jordan home tonight. A girl can dream. But now we're going to throw votes around like darts on a board and hope that they all land EXCEPT for Lily. Which should work. Hopefully. I really want to work with Steffen and Tyler. I think I can trust them and hopefully Lily comes through on her part of this 'plan' and votes to keep me safe. She has no idea that Tyler's sticking his vote on Steffen and not her. Surprise bitch, the rock is all yours. If this backfires, we might have to deal with Hurricane Lily.. but I'm optimistic. I think we've got this one. 

i cant believe jordan got a chaos idol,,, this is about to be the craziest tribal so far, and probably ever, because the rest will end up unanimous just like the first 11 have been

First of all, thank fuck I won immunity this round cause shit is about to get crazy. This afternoon Jordan decides he's going to use his chaos idol, apparently that is what the special secret advantage was so that was fun to deal with. After Jordan, Jack and I sorted out what 'we were doing', I had to update Char about everything tell her the plan and then Steffen. I told Steffen I was gonna vote for him to keep him safe but after more planning happened, without me, Tyler is voting Steffen instead and I'm still putting my vote on Jack C. Which is good cause it'll look like I stayed solid and if Jordan doesn't use the idol then Jack C should have the most votes and go home, unless Jordan and Lily had another plan and put their votes on Steffen while we all spread and in that case he'll be gone, but that's just me being hella paranoid. If everything goes as the four of us plan, Lily will be the only person without a vote and should be going home. But this whole idol is a fucking mess so we will see. I hate that I'm not voting for Char or Steffen, cause if someone doesn't stick to  the plan then they could be in trouble and I need them to stay. #stressed

originally there was a big plan of using the chaos idol and a decent amount of people knew about it but steffen and steven were out of the loop right, anyways me la and jack are in an alliance since day 1, but me and jack c are getting closer to other jack for a while. anyways la spills are the beans to steffen and tries to flip on us. steffen not know jack is close to me and jack c and tells jack, jack tells all this to me and jack c. anyways now were not playing the chaos idol and the three of us without telling anyone are voting steffen, everyone else is planning for a chaos idol

Dear Chaotic Diary, Ok so I have little to no idea whats going on anymore because I could be getting played to high heaven and I would not be the wiser tbh.  ANYHOE, I'm here bidding one that screwed up statue because HEY EVERYONE IS GOING FOR THAT ADVANTAGE, oh wait, no, Jack C is gonna steal my statue and keep it for himself and rub my face in it, PARTY.  So now I'm here pissed cause it seems Jordan got the special advantage, BUT GUESS WHAT, ITS A CHAOS IDOL, designed as it's name implies, to cause chaos.  So basically it'll make anyone who is voted for immune and cause them to go to an immediate rock draw between the people and it turns out, oh good ole Jordo is trying to save Jackie poo C again....while passing it off like I'm none the wiser, but oh does he know what's been in my ear.  So I've been recently been getting closer to LA and she is honestly my rock rn after losing Billy, but we were game talking and at this point I have nothing to lose.  But I basically laid out the dynamic of the season of Jordan and Lily running 2 trios, but it seems factions in their trios have been woke or something, cause here I have Charlotte coming to me saying "I think Lily poisoned me and Tyler against you" YA THINK, anyways now we hear from Charlotte and LA that Jordan has the aforementioned chaos idol.  So now Charlotte turned on Lily, and LA turned on Jordan, which is honestly what I needed and a plan was devised.  SO according to Charlotte and LA Jordan is saving Jack E, Jack C is saving Jordan, Jack E is saving Jack C, and LA is saving Jack C, possibly with Steven voting Jack C, but now we sit here with Lily's trio, and this is where my alliance with Charlotte and Tyler comes into play.  So Lily thinks that trio is saving itself, but now we have other plans.  So Lily will save Charlotte, Charlotte will save Tyler, and instead of Tyler saving Lily, Tyler will save me, and that leaves Lily without a vote to save her, meaning she would leave immediately.  However if no chaos idol is played I think that Jack C will go home since LA and Jack E are voting for him, but I don't care at this point, if a chaos idol isn't played tonight, I'm sorry but I'm going to need to bust out my hidden immunity idol cause this ain't gonna screw me out tonight.....at least I hope, technically we should be fine but I don't want to chance Jordan and Lily doing something like voting me instead and just using the chaos idol to screw with people's minds because let's face it, thats a very sadistic and Jordan Pines thing to do.  So I'm sitting here and praying to everything I can think of just to hope this plan will work, because if it does, oh holy nights, if not.....well things are gonna get a whole lot more interesting, so lets have fun. Scared and confused, Steffen

If you had asked me 72 hours ago if I was going to be the mastermind of a crazy move, I would say you were crazy. Here we are, 72 hours later and if what I have set up works out how I planned it, then I will be one powerful person in this game. It all started when Steffen, completely trusting me, spilled the beans about each and every single thing happening in this game, or more specifically, his hypothetical situations. I listened, and originally I did have a reason to keep this to myself, but after reading everything that he was saying, it made Steffen seem like more of a power player than I had originally perceived. I thought he was on the bottom, but considering all of the information he has heard from various sources, it makes me nervous to really think how much information he gets. This scares me, and although I trust him, him having an extra vote, combined with his complete rainbow pass, makes him a dangerous player that I need out of this game. His paranoia, which is what was holding him back from being a really dangerous player has disappeared, and that is why he is a threat to me now. Last night, I called Jack C., because Steffen said Jack C. and Jordan were close, and I originally thought that Jordan and I were formidable allies. I spilled only a little bit of what Steffen had told me before he unleashed a huge bomb in this game: Jordan has the Rainbow Idol. Huh, wonder why Jordan never told me this information? Guess he really is closer to LA and Jack C. than myself. This is where my second dose of information came in handy, where I let him know that LA was really not completely loyal to them. Jack then unleashed another bomb: Jordan found a Chaos Idol. This makes whoever receives votes at tribal council immune and everybody else goes to rocks. This is so powerful and it makes everything that everyone else is doing make sense. Jack C told me that everyone had a plan to vote for each other in order to keep everyone safe when Jordan plays the idol. However, everyone found out about this plan and now no one is really gonna be in danger. This is when I decided to make my move. I told Jack C., what if we don't play the idol, because everyone thinks he will, and you, Jordan and I will vote out Steffen, getting rid of his extra vote without needing to flush it and making everyone scared as well as hang onto it for next round. Wow, I'm so powerful. Now I had to inform Jordan of all of this information and I really thought that this would lead to him leaking his rainbow idol and his Chaos Idol to me. He didn't. Luckily, Steffen told me about the Chaos Idol and everyone's plans to work around it already so I had more of a reason to tell Jordan these plans, and it worked perfectly. We brought in Jack C. and the three of us have formed a formidable trio. Triple J 4.0. Nice. All I know is that we're voting for Steffen and hopefully everyone is sticking to the mindset that Jordan is playing this Chaos Idol and are voting for each other, not knowing they are sealing their fates. I'm honestly not so sure how well this is going to work for me in the future, but I know for sure that I am sick of sitting around letting people tell me what to do. It's my time to shine and it's my time to be a huge game changer. Whatever happens tonight, at least we one thing for sure. This will end in chaos. 

I don't know how I'm still here. My strategy is what I like to call the pearl strategy. I'm hoping to just sleep my way to the end.

EPISODE 1 (Part 2) - “I'll be sharpening my knife just in case” - Eddie

SEB

I'll be happy if I never have to see another fucking Robot Unicorn for the rest of my life...

NICHOLAS

Hey guys! So I am going to send it here so it's easier, but I already LOVE my tribe! Everyone is so sweet and easy to talk to (something that isn't always the case in these games). I am really trying to be super active and friendly and supportive towards people so that they feel like they should keep me around,,,, and i think it's working well since I got added to that fun alliance! I'm working hard for this reward challenge so I can prove my worth to all of these people on my tribe! That's about it for now! xoxoxoxo Nicholas

AMANDA

OK i have found that i hate this unicorn game. Like HATE IT.  I am so over it. everyone seems cool so far. there is some people that i am already kind of nervous  about because they just seem like they are already trying to play games and stuff. IDK but they just have me on edge but oh well. I think i am going to try to become close with them but idk i don't really want to be close with hem bc i don't trust them.

JARED

Honestly I am PISSED I was not put with Daniella or Trysten, and I’m stuck with the damn furry! But this will not bring me down, I am here to WIN and I will do whatever it takes to do that. Right now my goal is to just be social and try my best to talk to everyone, because god knows I do not want to be the first one voted out!

CHRISSA

we won that reward which is cool there's a reason i like that game, I hope we win immunity too so nervous still. I am hoping i am safe if we don't win either though. Voting if we had to, would be so hard.

ELENA

I am so happy that we won reward! I am a little bit confused about what exactly they are able to do at "the summit" but hopefully Dani and Darian will share with us when they get back! So far as tribe relations go, I haven't had a chance to speak with everyone yet, but I have made a couple of friends it seems in Seb and Darian. I hope to speak with everyone at least once before Immunity challenge is over.

DANI

I WANTED THAT GODDAMN IDOL CLUE! ME! I did! But my freaking Papa Jabari or whatever that dish was called didn't have jack SHIT! Grrrr.... I Didnt even eat that shit it tasted like acc trash! So I'm starving and now I'm stuck on a fucking mountain peak with a furry, someone who plays the victim all the time, a photographer piece of shit who I'm targeting, and a few other assclowns I haven't had the privilege of conversing with. GET ME OUT OF HERE NOW!

MATT

My lord Seamus got angry over something I called toast. I need to do that more *eyes emoji*

CHRISSA

flag challenges are ugly but I am here for it and the summit twist is cool that's all

JARED

Honestly, I’m mad.  I wanted to go to the summit because I wanted to talk to Daniella… *starts sobbing* I just feel so ALONE! It’s not fair….

TRYSTEN

I'm not going to lie. I feel defeated a little. I just feel like the weakest link, and I'm not going to be surprised if they vote me out.

KENDALL

Okay I just found out newlyf's name, it's Ally. I was right the first time, which is weird because I am usually never right at all. So chances are we are in the Matrix, sorry to shatter your fragile reality :/. Now on to more substantial things: 1. The Reward Challenge Yeah fuck that challenge man. I'm not going to lie, for the first ten minutes it was sort of fun. I like addicting things and the music was pretty good but everything went down hill and it went down hill fast. I still have the bloody song stuck in my head. :( 2. Summit Interesting concept and I like the idea of having an excuse for not being as social. Unfortunately I couldn't jump at the opportunity because that would be stupid. It would put a target on my back if I did, as the possibility of me having an idol would increase. Plus the odds of someone from my group going was very high considering we make up 4/7. And low and behold I was right. Two of the people I trust the most went to the Summit and I got to keep my hands clean. I guess this also means that the idol thing was fake which leads me to say, really guys, really? I stressed out about this.  3. The Immunity Challenge Flag making challenge, I volunteered because nobody else knew how to use photoshop and I am really good at drawing. I'm no Picasso (early Picasso, not late Picasso, I could do that shit) but I think it will work. Not to mention I hate relying on other people because people are gross and that I need to prove myself of some use. If I'm not careful, they'll catch on that I am virtually worthless in most scenarios. Like I wouldn't even be good bait for the wild animals, I taste too much like arsenic.  Anyway that's all folks, I'll be back with more scheming, paranoid ramblings and zombies. Well, maybe not those first two.   

DARIAN

SHIT HIT THE FAN kinda. I got an idol on my first try today. But it wasn't for my tribe... I know..Im sooooo lucky that I find someone else idol. So I was than told that I had 45 min to decide who I was going to give it to. Instantly I had two ideas in my head Keyonjay or Ally. Keyonjay- He clearly is decent in challenges and would be a string partner to attempt to align myself with. He has also agreed that if he finds my idol that he will give it to me. So theres a win win there for me.. maybe Ally- She did really bad in the first challenge and that honestly puts a huge target on her back because she is the easy vote. The team stays strong and no one gets butt hurt. But if she has the idol she can make a move and take out a big player EARLY... Like Keyonjay hahaha. After talking it out with keyonjay and getting his opinions and than a little self reflection I decided to give Keyonjay the idol in hopes that he could be the one to find my idol and maybe even become a strong alliance member!! Ahhhh so stressed!!!!

KEYONJAY

Okay so a couple things. I got the best score on the first challenge out of pure luck. Like just somehow I literally got to like 55k on level two when the previous times i played i couldn't get over 10k on all three levels. Unfortunately we still didn't win which fucking sucks because I didn't wanna go to the goddamn summit at all, but the other tribe chose me because i got the best score apparently. Didn't really wanna be away from my tribe for anything to change with my alliances, and really didn't wanna be put in a position that complicates my game. Ofc immediately that changes because Darian just gave me an idol. like dsfsdsf wtf. I just met the kid. It's really nice though and obviously from my last game I see that you can't abuse people's kindness like that so I'm not gonna use it against him or anything or brag and call him dumb (I'm sorry Mitchy D:) but this definitely complicates things because if I had an idol, I'd rather be the only person that knows about it and now I have to contend with the fact that this idol is basically mine AND Darian's and I have to use it in a way that benefits both of us or risk a pissed off juror. God. DONT GIVE ME IDOLS! I DONT WANT THEM! THEY COMPLICATE THINGS! He wants me to use it on Ally if my tribe loses the first immunity, but hopefully I can protect her and make that not happen regardless, or we can win, which I doubt since it's a flag challenge and I fucking suck at these.

ACE

Alright we got 2nd on the challenge which is decent. And then the next chall is a flag making competition and considering Kendall and Jared know of my abilities hopefully they can leave it up to me. I'm gonna make a wicked gif. Anyways the Summit twist is kinda cool, I got food that gave me an idol clue but it at least told me where NOT to look. I'm probably gonna stick to mountainside since random.org told me to. The Summit is Me and Keyonjay, Matt, Darian, Dani, and Johnny. I already know Dani and Matt, Darian talked with me a bit and they seem alright. They use phone emojis a lot and Im not use to seein those on my computer so its weird a bittttt! Johnny isn't online yet so idk about them just yet. Before I left Jared wanted me to talk to Keyonjay about making an alliance with them. When I heard keyonjay would be at Summit I decided to volunteer myself so I could get the question in. Keyonjay said they were ok with Jared and wanted him to join the alliance with Kendall and Nicholas... uhh no I think we just meant something between us 3 we don't need that big of an alliance even though our tribe is amazing and we'll probably barely lose anybody =') Also Kendall and I sorta already settled Jared as our possible first tribe boot so that'd just make things a bit harder maybe? WHo's even left? Ally and Amanda... that's it rofl also I don't think Ally is Mega anymore lol delete it

JOHNNY

Since joining the game, I’ve found it really difficult to legitimately communicate with people. I can’t help but think a lot of these people are dweebs, who just sit behind the computer all day blogging on tumblr and obsessing over Survivor games online I’m sure, and there’s no way I can compete with no lifes who do nothing but scratch their ballsacks all day. Any who, I do kinda know Dani, who is in the Summit with me right now, and i recognize Jared from a few other games I’ve played, but I’ve yet to approach him yet about the game, but I’m glad I have that in my back pocket. I’ve really gotta start forming some bonds with people, because the conversations I’m having with most of these people are not strong, and I wouldn’t be surprised if these try hard motherfuckers already have a majority alliance, but all I can do is contribute in challenges and hope for the best since my social game isn’t going to be too strong this early on. I’ve made a bond with Crimson on my team because we have a mutual friend, so hopefully that can take me a long way for now. My plan is to just bond with Matt since he’s the only one from my tribe I can talk to, maybe strike a deal, let him think he can do anything with me in this game, when tbh I’ll probably slit his neck soon enough anyways

tbh I get the very scary feeling that a lot of people know each other in this game, and I honestly don’t have anyone in this game that I can truly rely on like some do, and I’m never going to know who is friends with who. Now I know what it feels like to kinda be a newb in the games I play when I just target the people I don’t know… Guess I’m getting a taste of my own medicine here

DANI

Darian is getting on my nerves so badly. Like ugh, shut up for like two seconds nobody cares if you're a photographer. 

So Darian's dumbass comes up to me saying Carson/Julia have an idol in the game. Do I believe him? Yeah. Do I not wanna believe him? Yeah... But that's just how the game works. Oh how I wish I had that idol... *licks lips* Oh the things I would do to it... Grrr....

CARSON

Ok so I'm pretty sure Darian just exposed that he has the idol by trying to give me a fake clue. On 1/4/17, at 7:23 PM, Darian Goggin wrote: > I got a clue to an idol On 1/4/17, at 7:23 PM, Darian Goggin wrote: > It wasn't much but it's something On 1/4/17, at 7:23 PM, Carson (albania host) wrote: > omg On 1/4/17, at 7:23 PM, Darian Goggin wrote: > Don't search the Forrest On 1/4/17, at 7:23 PM, Darian Goggin wrote: > Or the mountainside On 1/4/17, at 7:27 PM, Carson (albania host) wrote: > I guess that can be kind of helpful lol So apparently you get clues to the idol at the Summit. Hell, there could even be an idol at the Summit. But regardless he got a clue... but he should have quoted it if it was real. Plus I went to the mountainside already and got THIS: On 1/3/17, at 9:24 PM, carson (tibet host) wrote: > You come to the spot where an idol looks to have been hidden, but there's nothing here! https://media.tenor.co/images/fb3f2d1e814190100a4ae401b1660d5b/tenor.gif He told me not to go to the mountainside because he already went there and got it and he didn't want me to find out its gone! And I guess its safe to say he's working with Dani now, who I also wanted to work with. I would go to her about it, but idk if she'd leak to Darian that I'm onto him. Right now, I'm just going to lay low with this until I need to use it. It sounds to me like Dani, Seb and Elena already know each other, and if Darian goes with them, they'll have majority. I wanted to work with Julia (and by extension Chrissa), but idk if it'll work out. Once again, I don't want to pry at all because no one really has a target yet. There isn't an easy first boot, so one slip up could cost me the game. OK THE PLOT JUST THICKENED Apparently, the Namtso idol is gone... which means all the tribes are searching the same area. So maybe Darian doesn't have it... but he could be protecting someone that does. I mean he's probably in cahoots with the ppl at the summit, And we can find the other tribe's idols. I'm so fucking shook.

JULIA RAE

ok so right now i dont know what im doing bc i dont really play survivor ,,, but i think im doing alright. i talked to everyone and i rly like carson and darian but that just my opinion! also darian told me that he'd be willing to get rid of seb if it came down to it ,,,, which is ok with me idk that dude and he kinda weird ngl! hopefully we win immunity bc if we dont idk what to do!! hehe love survivor!!

TRYSTEN

Holy Shit! I fucking did not expect us to get first, but thank yoouuu Johnny! *blows a kiss to the camera* moi!

CHRISSA

I am so glad we are not going to tribal, fuck the people who said those things lol just kidding it's their opinion honestly we just don't know who will judge and what they will like. it sucks.

DANI

I feel good I feel nice I've never felt so Satisfied I'm in love I'm alive Intoxicated Flying high It feels like a dream When you touch me tenderly I don't know if it's real But I like the way I feel Inside

DARIAN

Yasss we won immunity! No tribal! Which is great because no one really is on the outs rn so no one can really be an easy vote and that's scary! But I don't have to worry about that so yay!

KEYONJAY

So we lost the first immunity challenge and this really sucks, but luckily I'm in the majority alliance and then we kinda have Jared as an extra number even though he's not really IN the alliance or the alliance chat. I still have my idol that nobody knows about so I could make some kind of move if I wanted. Darian wanted me to use it to "take out a power-player" but I'm like, not gonna do that. It's WAY too early to make a big move like that and it would be completely illogical and senseless. It's better to just go with the numbers right now and not rock the boat. Plus I don't really see anyone on our tribe as a power-player necessarily. Kendall is definitely the leader of our alliance but I wanted it that way so I can continue flying UTR and focus on my social game. Now to see who will be the first to go from our tribe. :( Sucks because I really like everybody.

MATT

Well damn. Johnny is actually the MVP for this one. We can literally just relax and pretend like we give a shit about who's leaving only because it's none of us lmao.

ACE

I'm sad we lost, I like everybody on this tribe. I don't feel like bringing Jared down just yet, I brought up that Ally had the lowest score on the Reward challenge so we could possibly just go with her. Everyone in the Mofos alliance said they wanna keep me and Kendall for doing good work in the challenge but we'll see about that. I think I'm good with mostly everybody except for Amanda and Ally. I just spoke to Amanda and she said she'll vote Ally bc they haven't spoken at allll. Amanda doesn't seem to be in any alliance whatsoever. Kendall is a strong leader in the Mofos and I like that she's more leading than I am even tho I'm the one who suggested Ally. Hopefully that'll keep the target more on her than me later on in the game. Kendall just told me Keyonjay gave her an idol clue and it's the same one I got. So that didn't help any. I guess I gotta continue filling up that mountainside grid.

ELENA

I am so happy that we aren't going to Tribal Council because I really like everyone on our tribe right now! It will be sad if we lose any time soon because they are all just very nice and interesting people. I am so greatful for Carson for doing the most of the work on the flag, I do wish he had somehow incorporated the Yaks since I did the research on Tibet, it felt like my idea was ignored a little bit. But what matters the most is that it was a very good outcome! I can't wait for the next challenge!!

KENDALL

Welp, I might have fucked myself. Why did I volunteer? Why did I think that combining two mediums is a good idea? Dear lord, what have I done? Well anyway, here's a quick recap: Ace and Keyonjay went to the summit and when they came back Keyonjay told me he had an idol clue. He gave it to me because he really didn't want an idol, apparently they are more trouble than there worth. Ace didn't tell me anything about the summit and only talked about making the flag. She only brought it up when I revealed my idol clue. This proves to me that my loyalties should lie more with Keyonjay than Ace. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Anyway after we lost the challenge I typed in the alliance chat "well at least we know it's either me or Ace". I meant it as a joke but they freaked out and thought I was pulling a Zane. I managed to clear up the misconception but I am still not sure if they still doubt me. In order to repair some sort of relationship with her, I showed Ace the idol clue which was the same clue she got. And now I'm nervous maybe she will show receipts of the conversation to Keyonjay and shift the target on to me. It wouldn't be too difficult, I'm a bit of an unusual person to talk to and I mostly hogged the challenge that we failed. Though chances are I'm being irrational so I'm not going to risk it. If I do start panicking and try to get my alliance mates out, I'll end up putting the target on my back that I've been trying to avoid. God I hate feeling fear, it's very gross. Well, all feelings are gross... it's just this one is inconveniencing me the most currently.