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ghost-in-the-hella · 4 years

Note

19 with Victoria Chase and Chloe?

For whatever reason, I can’t seem to keep chaseprice stories short! Sorry this took so long, but I hope it’s worth it. I also immediately thought chaseprice when I saw that prompt (“According to this survey, most people agree you are, in fact, a gigantic asshole.”), so thanks for being on the same page with me there :) Unbeta’d and virtually unrevised despite how long it took me to write it, so please take it with a grain of salt.

Content warnings for misogynistic insults, underage drinking and drug use, and implied attempted sexual assault. Because teens in Arcadia Bay are awful to each other.

---

Chloe hasn’t seen Rachel since the first hour of the party. She stopped even getting texts from her about twenty minutes ago. She can already feel the familiar shapes of the argument they’re going to have tomorrow morning. Chloe will accuse Rachel of ditching her and ignoring her texts. Depending on how pissed she is, she might trot out the old dead horse about being abandoned by Max and flog that for a bit while Rachel fails to keep from rolling her eyes. Then Rachel will remind her about their agreement, that they’re both free agents and maybe if Chloe acted more like a free agent and less like a cuckolded wife she wouldn’t be so pissy all the time.

It’ll go back and forth for hours with Chloe whining about her abandonment issues and Rachel claiming that Chloe’s suffocating her, and at the end of it nothing will have changed. They’ll kiss and make up like they always do, but as soon as the next Vortex Club event comes around Rachel will insist on dragging Chloe and then she’ll ditch her in a crowd of people she hates and the whole cycle will start over again.

The whole thing is fucking exhausting, and Chloe’s sick of it.

Not as sick as Victoria Chase is, though; damn. It’s a hell of a sight: the Queen Bitch of Blackwell teetering drunkenly on ill-advised high heels - possibly only still on her feet because of the bodies of people dancing around her - and looking like she’s contemplating puking in her purse. She looks awful.

It would be more amusing if Rachel were there to make fun of her with Chloe. It would also be more amusing if it weren’t so painfully pathetic. Chloe’s way too sober to enjoy the sordid spectacle. Being the designated driver sucks ass, especially when the literal whole point of these parties is to get wasted.

Chloe almost jumps out of her skin when her phone suddenly - finally - buzzes in her pocket.

Rachel: U still at the party?

Chloe scowls at her phone.

Chloe: of fucking course i am

Chloe: where else would i be??

Chloe: im ur fucking dd

Rachel: o right! Srry I already caught a ride

“Are you fucking kidding me!?”

Rachel: c u 2morro tho

Rachel: 2 whales date? Not 2 early tho

Rachel: this hangover’s gona be a biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitch

Rachel: luv u <3 <3 <3 xoxoxo

Rachel: xxx

Rachel: ;P

Chloe buries her phone in her pocket, fuming. She can actually feel the anger rising off of her skin like steam. Obviously there’s no reason for her to continue being a designated driver if Rachel’s already fucked off with whatever Blackwell jock or cheerleader she’s decided to rail tonight. Chloe’s free to crash on the couch tonight with the rest of the drunk losers. Pass out in the bathtub maybe. There’s tons of booze in the kitchen; she should start there. Stoners are usually in the basement; they shouldn’t be hard to sniff out. Maybe if she’s lucky she’ll find the folks who’re always doing coke in some random bedroom or office and score a noseful. It’s not like she’s got classes in the morning. She can afford to live a little, as long as she’s not actually paying for it.

Chloe starts to push her way through the crowd to the kitchen.

“Watschh where yrr fffuckin goin…” slurs a messy but recognizable voice as a hand grips Chloe’s upper arm.

Jesus Christ, Victoria’s even more wasted than Chloe thought at first glance. Her hand on Chloe’s arm might be the only thing keeping her upright at the moment, which is the only reason why Chloe doesn’t immediately tear herself away.

“Careful, Vicky; poverty might be contagious.” Chloe attempts to pry Victoria’s fingers from around her arm to no avail.

The idiot jock standing behind Victoria laughs at that, but Victoria just looks confused. And drunk. So very, very drunk.

“Ffffug you, Chhhloe,” Victoria slurs out.

Chloe raises an eyebrow. “Wow, you must be shitfaced. That was practically my real name!” She carefully shoves Victoria back off of her arm as the jock moves to steady Victoria by holding onto her waist.

“C’mon, babe,” he says, leaning close to her ear. He grins at Chloe and winks like he thinks she’s in on some kind of conspiracy with him, which immediately pisses Chloe off. “I’ve got it from here,” he informs her.

Victoria groans something inarticulate and tries to push the jock away, but she ends up just stumbling back into his stupidly broad chest. She really shouldn’t get so drunk and wear such high heels at the same time; clearly, it’s a dangerous combination.

“Dude, I don’t think she wants to go with you,” Chloe says as calmly as she can. She really doesn’t want to get involved. She wants to get drunk and stoned and so blitzed out of her mind that she forgets all about being pissed at Rachel. She doesn’t want to get sucked into whatever drama Victoria’s got brewing tonight. But she also really doesn’t want to watch a drunk girl get mauled by some entitled meathead, even if said drunk girl is a royal pain in her ass.

“Nah, she’s good. Just needs some fresh air. C’mon, Tori, let’s go for a walk.”

“Don’ ffffuggin call me Tori,” Victoria growls, tugging her arm out of his too-firm grip and nearly falling right off her ridiculous and undoubtedly overpriced heels. “Iss Victoria.”

The creep ignores her and tugs on her arm again, toppling her into his body once more. “It’s cool,” he attempts to assure Chloe. “We’re friends. I’ll get her home safe.”

“She definitely doesn’t want to go with you. Let her go.”

“Dude, be cool! She’s just being a bitch. You know what Tori’s like.” He holds Victoria’s wrists to curtail her squirming.

“Fuggoff!”

Chloe cracks her knuckles loudly enough to get the jock’s attention. “I’ve got better things to do with my left hand tonight than break it on your nose, but if you don’t unhand her in the next five seconds I’ll do it anyway.”

That gives the jock pause, but he doesn’t look like he quite believes her. “You wouldn’t.”

Chloe shrugs. “If you don’t believe me, why don’t you ask Logan why his nose slants to the right? Although he’ll probably lie. Ask his ex-girlfriend; she’ll tell you the truth.”

---

As Chloe guides a stumbling and incessantly bitching Victoria through the dark toward her truck, she silently curses every decision in her life that led her to this moment. It’s actually not that different from drunk-walking Rachel home after a party, except that when Victoria keeps touching her boob it’s probably accidental. Probably.

“Where’ss Nathan?” Victoria whines, head lolling onto Chloe’s shoulder and smearing a healthy quantity of expensive makeup into her favorite Firewalk shirt. Which is fine. Not like Chloe can’t just steal another one next time they have a 2010 tour. Time travel’s a thing, right?

“I have no idea where Prescock is. Surprised he’s not doing shots out of your cleavage.”

Victoria’s trying to text, but she keeps almost dropping her phone. “Where are theese bisches?” Victoria grumbles as her manicured fingers jab and swipe at the screen of her phone with the dexterity of a toddler with two handfuls of butter. “Sposdt to be my frens…”

Victoria’s entire focus is on her phone when it should really be on walking. Chloe tugs her upright and tries to steer her for the umpteenth time. “Can it wait til we’re in the truck at least?”

Victoria grinds to a halt and finally tears her eyes from her phone. “M’not gedding into that… that…” Victoria flails at Chloe’s truck and nearly falls over. “Deathtrap.”

“You had to get a tetanus shot to live in the dorms, right? You’ll be fine.” Chloe grips Victoria’s elbow with one hand to keep her upright and wrangles the passenger door open with the other. “Go on, get in.”

Victoria glares at Chloe foggily. “Are you khhidnappng me, Price?”

“...That’s a joke, right?”

Victoria whacks Chloe solidly in the sternum with her phone. “B’cause I’ll haf you know, my frens will put your assss in jail like that.” Victoria tries and fails to snap her fingers, then stares at them as if she cannot comprehend why they are not obeying her.

Chloe rubs at her sore sternum in annoyance. “Yeah, well, maybe your ‘frens’ should be the ones getting your drunk ass safely back to the dorms instead of abandoning you and letting random creepers paw at you. Then maybe I could get my drunk on in peace instead of wasting my weekend cleaning your puke out of my truck.”

Chloe’s expecting some pushback. Victoria hasn’t even touched her truck, much less puked in it. What she isn’t expecting is for Victoria to shove her phone in Chloe’s face. “You texx thm.” Victoria reaches for the door handle, yanks the door open, and unsteadily clambers into Chloe’s truck.

“Ow, what the fuck! You want me to text your friends?”

“Tell’m yer kidnappin me.”

“Uh, okay, no, I’m not doing that. But I can text your friends if there’s someone you’d rather get a ride with.”

Chloe carefully shuts Victoria’s door and walks around her truck to the driver’s side, thumbing through Victoria’s message history. She tries Nathan first, even though she can see that Victoria’s last ten messages to him have gone unanswered.

Victoria: hey victoria needs a safe ride back to the dorms. can you come get her?

Nathan: whothFUCKisthis

Victoria: a good samaritan. seriously tho your friend is halfway to passed out, can you help?

Nathan: fuckoffBITCH

Victoria: god why does victoria even like you?

She tries Courtney next.

Victoria: hey victoria needs a safe ride back to the dorms. can you come get her?

Courtney: I don’t know, can Victoria not call my boyfriend a MAN WHORE?

“We’re 0 for 2, Victoria. What’s the name of that blonde girl you’re always hanging around with?”

“Sweetie…”

“Um, what?”

“Goddddd you’re fuckn incomph-- incump-- incompetant. Sweet. T.”

“I have no idea what you’re-- Oh.” Jesus, the girl is literally in Victoria’s phone as Sweet-T. Gaaaaaaayyyy.

Victoria: hey victoria needs a safe ride back to the dorms. can you come get her?

Sweet-T: Victoria? Victoria Chase?

Sweet-T: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Sweet-T: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Sweet-T: Tell that bitch good luck.

Sweet-T: Actually wait don’t.

Sweet-T: Tell her to choke.

Sweet-T: Btw Taylor lost her phone.

“Uhh, looks like ‘Sweet-T’ lost her phone. And it’s fallen into the hands of someone who completely hates your pretentious ass; no big surprise there.”

Chloe starts texting Victoria’s contacts at random as Victoria sulks. Most people don’t even respond. The responses she does get are… not encouraging.

Zach: sup biiiiiiiiiiitttcccccccchhhhhh yeah i’ll give vicky a ride ON MY DICK

Hayden: new fone who dis

Brooke: Who is this and how did you get my number? Don’t ever text me again.

Dana: I gott a ride w Jules srry

Juliet: Already back at the dorms. Good luck I guess.

Logan: fukk that bisch wut

“Well, Victoria, looks like none of your friends are coming to help. So you can either let me give you a ride back to campus, or you can pass out on a couch inside and hope for the best.”

“What th hell djou say to them??”

“Just that you needed a safe ride to the dorms. That’s all.”

“Bullsshhhitt. You pissed them off.”

Chloe laughs out loud at that. “I pissed them off?? You pissed them off by being a gigantic asshole!”

“M’ noddan asshole.”

“Oh, no? Well…” Chloe holds up Victoria’s phone and waves it in front of her face. “According to this survey, most people agree you are, in fact, a gigantic asshole.”

Which is how Chloe ends up comforting a sobbing Victoria Chase in a stranger’s driveway and wishing she’d never been born.

---

Chloe: dude. Srsly. Fuck u for abandoning me at that fucking vc party.

Rachel: chloe?

Rachel: wat timesit?

Rachel: w happnd?

Chloe: its 3am

Chloe: and victoria FUCKING chase is passed out on me

Rachel: ur joking

Rachel: omg

Rachel: pls take a pic

Chloe: this isnt funny rach

Rachel: it’s fucking hilarious!

Chloe: its SAD.

Rachel: Wait so

Rachel: did you fuck her?

Chloe: WHAT????

Chloe: NO!!!!!

Rachel: Oh good bc I don’t think there’s enough bleach in the world to clean your soul after fucking victoria chase

Chloe: she’s drunk AF

Chloe: her friends ditched her

Chloe: and i kinda called her an asshole

Chloe: so she cried on my shoulder until she passed out

Chloe: and now i’m trapped

Rachel: Poor baby.

Rachel: Chew your arm off?

Chloe: not funny.

Rachel: Again, totally funny.

Chloe: Srsly tho, what should i do???

Rachel: idk

Rachel: sneak out?

Chloe: we’re in my truck

Rachel: hahahahahahahaha

Rachel: of course you are

Rachel: so wake her bitch ass up!

---

Victoria Chase snores. Nothing in the world could have prepared Chloe for that knowledge. She also drools, which is unfortunate for the state of Chloe’s jacket. Not that it’s the cleanest thing in the world anyway, but still. It’s the principle of the thing.

Victoria’s normally immaculate hair is in a state of total chaotic disarray. At least half of her makeup is gone, and what remains is smeared artlessly all over her face. She smells like a brewery. Chloe’s arm has fallen asleep under the weight of her head. Chloe envies it. The sweet release of sleep would be infinitely preferable to the intense awkwardness of being conscious right now.

The moonlight paints Victoria’s face in delicate shades of pale, highlighting the refined angles of her cheekbone, her jawline, her nose. She’s snoring and drooling and messy and the most utterly awful person; it shouldn’t be possible for her to be beautiful in this moment.

And yet. And yet.

Chloe should shove her awake. She should push Victoria off her shoulder, buckle up both of their seatbelts, and deposit her safely back at the dorms (because even though Victoria’s an objectively horrible person, that doesn’t mean that Chloe is). Chloe should abandon ship, let Victoria sleep it off in the front of her truck while Chloe returns to the party and drinks until she can’t remember what Victoria looks like in the moonlight. Maybe if she drinks enough, by the time she’s sober enough to drive Victoria will have sobered up and found her own way home.

Victoria makes a sleepy sort of grumbling sound and shifts against Chloe’s shoulder, draping an arm over Chloe’s middle and snuggling close. Her hair tickles Chloe’s neck and jaw as it sticks out at peculiar angles, and Chloe wants to laugh or possibly die. There’s really nowhere else for Chloe’s arm to go, so it ends up wrapped around Victoria. Victoria lets out a sound that’s disturbingly close to a contented sigh.

“Hey... Vic?”

“Mphgmhm?”

“Um… Are you aware that you’re cuddling me like I’m your long-lost childhood teddy bear?”

“Grhmphgm.”

“Uh. ‘Kay. Long as you know.”

“Mphkm.” Victoria nuzzles into Chloe’s shoulder, squeezing her tighter. Chloe awkwardly pats her side and Victoria sighs again.

“Hey, uh… I’m sorry about what I said before. I mean, not about you being an asshole, ‘cause I’m not gonna lie. But about your friends. I’m… sure your friends do like you, really.”

Victoria shrugs a little, frowning delicately. “Dsnmttr. Sleeb.”

Sleep. Okay. That’s theoretically possible. Chloe’s slept in more uncomfortable positions in this very truck, after all. So she closes her eyes and rests her head against the back of her seat, and she listens to the steady rhythm of Victoria’s breathing until the world begins to fade into a comforting void.

Shit’s going to be awkward in the morning. But, well. That can wait until the morning.

#writing prompts #prompt fill #chaseprice #life is strange #LiS #background amberprice #chloe price #victoria chase #rachel amber #fanfic

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lolo314 · 4 years

Text

Soma Week Day 1: Dare

@soulxmakaweek

I love these idiots so I figured I’d try my hand at this whole Soma week thing, lol.

Title: The Dare. (so creative).

Notes: It’s a college au so the drinking is totally legal.

Summary: Drunk idiot makes bad decisions.

A03: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23988775

Also sending love to @friday1221 for making an awesome art for this fic.<3

Maka didn’t expect her day to end like this, her lips on Soul’s in an urgent kiss.

When she woke up that morning, it was like any other Saturday. Soul slept way past noon with the excuse of it being a weekend, Maka made breakfast and worked on her assignments for the next week before their paths crossed for what was her lunch and his breakfast.

“Blackstar says to take a cab. Apparently we’ll be too drunk to drive after. “he said in between large bites. Their friend had been harassing them about a small get-together he had planned since Monday, ensuring them they’d have a great time. Maka had been hesitant, knowing the aftermath of Blackstar’s idea of fun, but reluctantly agreed, promising herself she wouldn’t wake up the next day with a hangover.

“I’ll drive us. I’m not planning to drink anyways.” she already felt tired thinking about taming a drunk Soul.

“That’s… How about I drive us for once?” she scuffed, carrying her empty place to the sink.

“I’m not paying a ticket for drunk driving.” He opened his mouth but she cut him off with her hand.

“Its fine, Soul. I don’t mind.” She smiled before sitting herself on the couch, picking up a

book to get lost in until it was time to get ready. They didn’t talk much after that. She could tell something was on his mind as he moved about the apartment, but he didn’t seem ready to share it.

The low rumbling of the engine was the only sound breaking the silence of the car ride to Blackstar’s and Tsubaki’s apartment.

“Hey, Maka. “he was fidgeting with a lose string of his T-Shirt, his gaze on the passing view.

“I hope you don’t drink because you hate the taste of alcohol and not because you have to deal with me when I’m drunk.” When he turned to look at her she could tell he had thought about this a lot. That’s what he’s been thinking about all day?

“It’s fine, Soul. Don’t worry about it.” She was smiling, but he didn’t seem convinced.

“Don’t ruin your fun on my account. It’s a Saturday night. Live a little. “she considered him for a few minutes, running her options through her head. She didn’t want to ruin his night by making him worry about her having fun, but it was hard to shake the feeling that it would be messy if they both let loose.

“So you want me to not think about you? You’re weird.” He laughed, looking relieved the atmosphere had shifted into something brighter.

“Okay then. I’ll try to relax.” He exhaled, before smiling widely.

“You know it’s ridiculous that we need to have a conversation about you letting loose at a party, right?”

“What can I say? I’m just that special.” They both laughed as the approached their friend’s house, both oblivious to what awaited them.

”Let’s play truth or dare!” Backstar’s voice stood out among all the chattering. He and Liz were drunk by hour two of the small party, only half aware of what was happening.

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea.” Tsubaki pulled a half empty cup of beer from Blackstar’s hand.

“Last time we played you ended up crying…” Maka could clearly remember the memory Tsubaki was referencing. Soul and Liz had ended up dumping him in a bathtub full of water to sober him up, and maybe get a laugh out of it.

“Huh?” his face twisted in confusion.

“Don’t you remember? When you asked if it was true that I am single?” fear masked his features.

“You’re not?” he seemed ready to cry.

“Star..We’ve been dating for two years. Honestly, how much did you drink?” his face lit up.

“Who cares? Let’s play!” he sat himself on the floor , dragging Tsubaki down with him and gesturing for everyone to follow him. When everyone had taken their seats, the game begun.

“I’ll start!” Liz’s hand shot up and her eyes fell on Kid.

“Truth or Dare?” he weighed his options, considering her past challenges when drunk.

“Truth.” She frowned.

“You’re no fun… Truth it is. Is it true that I’m the best girlfriend you’ve ever had?”

“You’re the only girlfriend I’ve had. I can’t compare. “she pushed herself towards him and flicked his forehead.

“ You’re supposed to say yes!” he only laughed, placing a comforting hand around her shoulders.”

After a few turns, Blackstar turned to Maka.

“Truth or Dare?” Soul’s words flashed in her mind as she weighed her options.

“Dare.” A devious smile spread across his face.

“Now we’re talking! Maka, I dare you to chug that entire cup.” He pointed to the untouched alcohol. Live a little. She took a deep breath and pulled the cup to her lips, taking it all in one swift motion. Cheers erupted around her. She laughed, her head spinning and her throat burning by the sudden intrusion. She glanced at Soul, who was clapping along with everyone else.

After a lot more rounds, during which everyone, particularly Maka, had gotten considerably drunker.

“I dare you to Kiss Soul!” Liz’s words were slightly slurred when she pointed at Maka.

“Naaah. She wot do t. I’v ased bfore.” Blackstar’s head shook dramatically as he spat out broken words. Maka looked at Blackstar, clearly expecting her to take another shot. She looked at Soul, who seemed to agree with their friend.

She could faintly hear a voice in the back of her mind screaming as she crawled toward him. Her body moved on its own and she was too tipsy to stop herself from taking his face in her hands and crashing her lips against his, ignoring any consequences it would have on their relationship. The moment their lips locked, she momentarily forgot about the game. Something felt right and she didn’t want to stop, but her mind finally caught up with her and she pulled way, now facing a completely shocked Soul.

“Damn! That was intense!” Liz was giggling as she clapped and yelled. She moved back to her seat, trying to ignore Soul, whose cheeks were a deep shade of red, his mouth hanging open. She smiled as she took another sip of her drink, only faintly aware that she’d regret everything the next day.

When Maka woke up the next morning her head throbbed. She blinked a few times, trying to adjust her eyes to the light. Memories slowly came back to her. The party, truth or dare, drinking. A lot of drinking, kissing Soul. Wait… What?! Her body shot up, instantly regretting the action. Her vision blurred, her head spun.

“You’re awake?” Soul’s head peeked through the door before he walked in with a tray in his hands. She took her head in her hands, squeezing her eyes shut, trying to remember the details. I kissed Soul… It was for a dare… but I kissed him… and… I liked it? She mentally slapped herself, hard. Don’t be stupid. He’s your best friend.

“I’m guessing you feel like shit… I’ve been there.” He ran a hand through his hair, averting his gaze.

“I, uh, brought you some toast and some water. You’re probably dehydrated… I also brought some aspirin… Take that too...” he stood awkwardly, waiting for her brain to go back to its original place. She avoided his gaze as she took the water in her hands, putting the aspirin in her mouth. She took a deep breath and dared a look at him, soon realizing that was a mistake.

“Shit.” She ran to the bathroom, unloading everything that entered her body in the last 24 hours. Soul run after her, holding her hair back until she was done.

The next few hours had been hell. Her stomach turned, her head felt like it was about to bust and even so, her brain found in impossible to stop replaying the scene in her head. His lips on hers, the taste of his mouth. Shut up!

His presence didn’t help. He had been taking care of her all day, trying to help her get through her hangover as smoothly as possible. She hadn’t spoken any word to him other than a thank you here and there, too ashamed to say anything else.

“Are you feeling any better?” he sat himself on the edge of the couch, as if trying not to disturb anything around her.

“Not really… Seriously... I promised myself I wouldn’t get drunk but…” he smiled apologetically. What is he sorry for?

“I’m sorry… I should’ve probably stopped you before you got completely out of it… It’s just… you looked like you were having fun…” she shook her head.

“Don’t worry about it. It was my fault..” she looked at the cup of water in her hands, trying to find the right words to apologize.

“I’m sorry about this…” she could feel his eyes on her, but she refused to look at him.

“Don’t be. Think of it as payback for making you take care of me when I’m hangover.” He laughed, trying to ease the tension. She looked away, feeling terrible that he saw it that way. She took care of him because she wanted to, not because she felt obligated to do so. She jumped when she felt his hands on her shoulder.

“Hey, Maka Look at me.” She took a deep breath and turned her face, trying to avert her eyes from his lips, focusing on his eyes instead.

“It’s fine. Seriously. “ his hand dropped and he retreated to his seat. An awkward silence engulfed them. She had done it. She had broken the connection. The comfort. Stupid Maka… She desperately tried to think of a way to take things back the way they were.

“How come you’re not hangover? Didn’t you drink?” he shook his head.

“Nah. Didn’t feel like it.” Her heart dropped. He would never admit it, but she could read between the lines. Someone had to take care of you… Not only did you ruin your friendship… you also ruined his night…

“Sorry… Did I give you a hard time last night? I don’t really remember what happened after that drink … after…” her voice trailed off, refusing to name it. He nodded in understanding.

“No… you kind of just fell asleep..” her eyes widened.

“I fell asleep? So… how did I get here?” she wanted to take the words back the moment they left her mouth. She already knew what was coming and it only worsened her guilt.

“I carried you… Uh.. yeah… Do you need more water?” he rose from the seat and practically sprinted to the kitchen, leaving her alone with her thoughts. I’ve done it… I’ve ruined us…

#soulxmakaweek #somaweek2020 #soul eater #soul x maka #soma

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angelsofaurora · 5 years

Text

What are the odds? (Part 2)

Pairing: reader x Izzy Stradlin

Word count: 2154

——————————————————————————

“It’s late, hurry up!” Y/F/N shouted through the closed bathroom door. After you came home from the record store you fell asleep in front of the TV. You only woke up when Y/F/N shook your shoulder, telling you in an annoyed tone to get ready since it was less than an hour until it’s time to leave if you want to get in the club on time to see the band play.

You hated being in a hurry because you instantly became a mess. You almost slipped at the bathtub.

Stepping out of the shower you glanced down to your legs. “Fuck, I’m dumb.” You got back in the shower since you forgot to shave your legs.

By the time you got out of the shower for the second time you had about half an hour to dry your hair, apply makeup and get dressed.

The next minutes until you were ready were mostly running through the apartment doing several things at once.

Wearing a tight black short skirt with a black lacey top and your favourite heels you felt comfortable but sexy. The leather of the skirt hugged your curves perfectly and the top had just enough clevage not to look like you were desperetly trying to get laid. Calling out for your friend you grabbed your purse and headed out down the street.

The Troubadour was packed with young people. After all it was a friday night, everyone was out having fun. The clubs were everyone’s go-to destination on a weekend night.

You saw the flyer on your way through the entrance and it said the band is Guns N Roses. The guys themselves didn’t look bad in the photo so you got a bit excited to see them.

By the time you got in, the band was already playing.

The music was loud and their energy filled up the entire place. You had to admit they were really good. Grabbing Y/F/N’s hand, you made your way to the bar. You knew you could have fun without alcohol but you also knew booze made it so much better.

“Four shots of vodka, please.” you told the bartender slightly annoyed by the amount of people around you and you could see your friend could use some liquor courage too.

After downing two shots of clear vodka, you knew the night was about to get started.

Pushing your way through the crowd you made it all the way to the front of the stage. Firstly you saw the singer. A red-haired guy with a lean body and unique voice. Next to him was a guitarist with a mass of curly black hair and you couldn’t really make out his face since it was covered with hair and a huge hat. Next to him was a tall blonde bassist and behind him another blonde guy who was bouncing happily while playing the drums. There was another guy, a rhythm guitarist, you assumed. Black long hair, slim body and you could swear you’ve seen those boots he was wearing already.

While the show was unraveling you noticed the ginger guy glancing at your friend’s direction quite a few times. She noticed it too and by the time they were done playing she was determinted to get to know him better after the show.

Struggling your way back to the bar you ordered another four shots of vodka, two for you and two for Y/F/N. The bar was the center of attention for most of people in the club since the show has ended and there was nothing to do except to drink. Knowing it might take a while, you started a discussion with your friend about the band. She desperatly wanted to know which one of them you liked the most. Just as you were about to answer her, a voice you found familiar spoke next to you.

“Can I buy you ladies something to drink?” Y/F/N’s eyes went wide and you knew who it was before even turning around. It was the band’s singer.

“We actually just ordered but we most absolutely wouldn’tbsay no to another drink.” Now it was your turn for your eyes to go wide since your usually not so talkative friend obviously got really outgoing tonight. He just smiled and told the bartender to get you all three Jack Daniels’.

“I’m Axl by the way.” He offered his hand to both of you and you shook it, telling him your names. His smile went wider as he got to shake your friend’s hand.

The bartender gave you your drinks suprisingly quickly and you downed your drinks in a matter of minutes.

You started to like Axl as a person and there was no doubt your friend did too so you two didn’t even hesitate when he asked if you wanted to join him backstage where all his bandmates are.

Walking behind him as he was leading you backstage you saw some jelous looks being serwed to you and your friend but you didn’t mind at all.

“Okay so I have to warn you there’s probably chaos in there by now,” the ginger told us before opening the door to a room. There were two couches in and four guys. They all looked curiously at you and you could tell by the smirk on the curly haired guy’s face, he liked you. You smiled right back at him. They all said something in the lines of “Hey”. You sat down beside the short blonde and the curly-haired guy. Y/F/N sat down across from you next to the bassist and Axl. The black haired guy was sitting on the floor next to Axl’s legs. He raised his head and met eyes with yours. Narrowing his gaze he half jokingly said: “Oh, you’re the girl who sent my booze flying earlier in the day.”

That’s when it clicked why he looked so familiar. “Oh and you’re the fucker who called me a bitch, huh?” In your drunkenly state you weren’t really angry but you absolutely made it clear to him that’s not how you talk to a woman.

He seemed unimpressed by your reply and he wasn’t planning on apologising as you could tell. Fine. You just realised he’s a total ass and you could tell you two are not gonna get along very well.

After all of them introduced to you, you were sharing a bottle of Jack with Slash. He was pretty drunk already but so were you.

Throughout the night you noticed Izzy looking your way many times. You wondered what his problem was but on the other side you didn’t really care.

“Wanna go to my dressing room?” Slash asked and your intoxicated brain agreed. When you stood up, that was when you started doubting your decision. The room was spinning and you felt yourself being grabbed by someone’s hands. As you turned your head you saw Izzy holding you by your arms so you could steady yourself.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to go with Slash right now. You can’t even stand.” You noticed his voice sounded almost concerned.

“I’m going with him.” You slurred, not being able to talk properly anymore. Shit, where did it get so bad?

“Maan just let her go,” slurred Slash, leaning on to the wall. He was just as shitfaced as you were but Izzy knew he’ll be okay. However he was not sure about you.

“No, you ain’t.” Izzy took your hand and sat you back down. You were trying to stand back up but there was no way you’d succeed in doing so.

He went and talked to Y/F/N for a bit and when he came back to where you were sitting he told you he was taking you home. At that point you weren’t fighting back anymore since the feeling of sickness washed over you. Hoping you wouldn’t throw up you let Izzy drag you thowards his car outside of the club.

Somehow you made it to the car without him dropping you and you falling. You were suprised how strong he was considering his skinny figure and you being only about two inches shorter than him.

As he sat you down at the passenger seat he met your eyes and for a moment only stared at you. “Like what you see huhh?” your voice echoed in your head and you knew you slurred-mumbled a good portion of what you just said.

“For fucks sake,” you heard him say while sighing and closing the door. After a few seconds as he went around the car, he opened his door and sat behind the steering wheel.

“Are you gonna be able to tell me where you live or am I too optimistic?” You could tell he was getting annoyed.

“What if you rob and kill me if I tell you?” You were trying to speak clearly but you didn’t know if it was working.

“So you are able to tell me?” He didn’t even care about your bullshitting.

“Yuuup. Just down the street and I’ll tell you when to stop.” You hoped he understood you but honestly you weren’t sure if you even care if he just decides to kick you out of the car.

After a few minutes you realised you were getting close. A few more seconds and you’ll be there.

“Stooop!” Your shout suprised him and he hit the breaks hard. Thankfully you were buckled up and if you weren’t you were pretty sure you’d smash your head on the frame.

“You know you could tell me sooner.” He got out of the car and seconds later the door on your side opened.

Izzy bowed down, took your arm and put it around his shoulders. He then put his hand on your waist and helped you out of the car. Stumbling up a few steps to your front door, you finally reached it. When Izzy saw you’re having trouble looking for your keys, he started to feel through your pockets and your purse. He found the keys and unlocked the door.

He sat you down on your couch and went in the kitchen to get you a glass of water.

“You have to drink it all, c’mon,” he told you, handing you a full glass. You did as he said.

About half an hour and about 5 glasses of water later you finally started to feel a bit better. You now could talk without slurring the words but you still felt sick.

“I think I’m gonna throw up.” Izzy again helped you up and you told him where the bathroom is. You got there just in time. You kneeled next to the toilet and started vomiting. A thought crossed your mind how it was funny that a guy who you despised and he despised you was now standing in your bathroom, holding your hair out of your face while you were emptying your stomach out.

It took you quite some time to clean yourself up, wash your hands and face and to empty your bladder after you were done throwing up. Izzy left you alone in the bathroom for that but he kept the door slightly open, just in case you fell or needed help.

Still light-headed and dizzy you stumbled to your bedroom. Izzy followed you closely and offered to help you but you declined. Not thinking about being inappropriate, you shimmied out of your skirt and took off you top, searching for a comfortable T-shirt in a closet. Izzy didn’t say a word but he did turn to face the wall to give you some privacy.

“I’m done, you can look.” You teased him a little. He turned around and helped you get to bed. After making sure you were gonna be okay he got you another glass of water on the nightstand.

“I’m gonna lock the door on my way out and give the keys to your friend since she’s most likely gonna spend the night at Axl’s room.”

“Okay.” You looked at him and only then you noticed how his black hair fell perfectly around his long face and how his lips moved when he talked. It was hard to admit to yourself but he was pretty hot.

“I’m gonna go now and you try to fall asleep okay?” His voice was soft and at the same time kind of raspy.

“Okay.” You gave him a small smile and he turned around to leave.

“Hey...thank you.” You stopped him before he could close your door.

“Yeah... goodnight Y/N.” He gave you a reassuring smile.

“Goodnight Izzy.” Your eyes met his one last time before he closed the door and left.

It didn’t take you long to fall asleep but frankly, you couldn’t get Izzy out of your head.

#izzy stradlin #fanfic #i know it took me extremely long #im sorry #i hope you like it #guns n roses #guns n roses fanfic #sarah writes

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supersoldierslover · 7 years

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College parties and Drunk Assholes

Summary: ( College au) Your best friend invites you to a party, unfortunately, you can find her anywhere. Luckily you find a pretty cute guy to spend the night with. Words: 2010 Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader Warnings: A drunk asshole, people drinking and doing drugs. This is my entry to @wanderlustingandwandering writing challenge where my prompt was “Do you want me to leave?"

You look around the party cursing yourself, you feel so out of place right now. A few days ago your best friend invited you to a party in one of her friend’s house, you said yes in heartbeat, you felt like you need it to explore more of the college life and there is any better way to do this with a party full of strangers, right?

You don’t have anything against parties, actually, you love them. The loud music, people dancing like the world was going to end and the idea that anything could happen. You could wake up in a stranger’s bed or in someone bathtub.

But in this party, you feel like a fish out of water. The only person that you knew it is your friend and she is nowhere to be found. You grab a bottle of beer out of the fridge, feeling that people are watching you “Hello there, princess.”

You turn around seeing a guy that must be in his late 20’s, he smells like cheap whiskey and cigarettes “My name is not, princess.” You say getting away from him, you wonder if is too early to get home, put your pajamas and eat ice cream, It is better than getting high with a bunch of strangers.

“So tell me what is your name, princess. I bet it is as beautiful as you.” You roll your eyes at him, why he couldn’t take a hint and leave you alone. You try to get away from him but he holds your arm not letting you go “How about not interested?”

“Come on princess, I just want to get to know you.” You laugh in the strangers face, you don’t know when did you become this bold but you kind like it “You don’t want to know me, you want to fuck me like I said I am not interested. Not now, or in the end of the night... Now leave me alone.”

The guy seems perplexed, you doubt that anyone was ever this honesty with him “You are such a bitch.” He says letting you go, you look finally find your friend making out with her boyfriend close the bathroom door.

You think about going to say hello to her, but decided against it is being a while since she saw him, so she gets a free pass. You decide to go outside on the balcony; the party was so loud with all these people talking and the music in the background that you can’t even hear your own thoughts.

“After this, I am going home.” You say to yourself, taking a sip of your beer. The night it is so cold that you regret your outfit, the long-sleeved dress wasn’t doing much to keep you warm “Oh shit… sorry… I didn’t know that anyone was here. Do you want me to leave?””

You hear someone saying behind you, it was a guy that looks around your age. Different from the other guy from earlier, this didn’t seem drunk or high. He was very cute, and look even embarrassed that he interrupted you and your thoughts “You can stay I mean if you want.”

He smiles at you, a boyish grin that is so pure and innocent that he reminds you of a puppy for a few seconds “Thanks, I couldn’t hear my thoughts in there…. I am Parker, Peter, Peter Parker. That sounded so cool in my mind, sorry… it’s Peter.” You laugh at his awkwardness and introduce yourself to him.

He shakes your hand blushing, you can’t deny that he is pretty adorable “So how can I never see you at this parties?” He asks sitting on the couch by your side, your shrug you don’t know how to answer to that “I could ask you the same thing, I never saw you at any party or at the library even at the coffee shop close to campus.”

You watch as he runs his fingers through his soft brown hair before answering you “I usually on the lab, on the Tech lab… you know the one in the building close to the library B.” You smile at him, this explains you never saw him around, you never went to that side of the campus.

“That explains a lot, I usually on the other side of the campus.” He nods, and you two fall in an uncomfortable silence, you want to keep talking to him. You don’t why, maybe because he is very cute, maybe because he is nice and you feel some kind of a connection with him.

“I am only here because of my friend, she was the one that invited me saying that this was one of the coolest party’s ever and that I didn’t want to miss it.” You say trying to keep a conversation with him if he is out there with you maybe he was also feeling out of place.

“What are you thinking so far?” He asks taking a sip of his soda, you find kind of odd that he is not drinking but don’t say anything about it “It is ok, I mean all parties are the same, right? Loud pop music, cheap beer, bad junk food and people acting crazy just because they can... It is always the same.”

“I don’t go to a lot of parties… I don’t even know what I am doing here.” He says shyly, you notice that every time he is nervous he plays with his hair “If is any consolation, my friend is getting drunk and making out with her boyfriend. While i am here outside, freezing and talking with a nice guy.”

Peter take his jacket offering to you, even though he is wearing a cozy sweater underneath you don’t want him to get a cold because of you “ You don’t have to, Peter…” But before you can complete the sentence he is already putting the jacket over your shoulders.

“You might get sick.” You say feeling grateful for the warm that his jacket is providing you” Don’t worry about me, my aunt would kill me if I let a pretty girl freeze to death.” He says distracted, you arch your eyebrows to him, did he notice that he called you pretty?

“Do you think I am pretty, Peter?” He stares at you noticing what he said, his face starts to get red “I think you are cute too if this makes you feel any better.” You smile at him and putting a string of hair behind your ear.

“You are just saying this to me not to be embarrassed?” He asks getting closer to you on the couch, he has a playful tone of his voice. It was nice to see that he was little more comfortable around you, you shrug at his question “Maybe, I mean you have a mirror, right? You look like one of the protagonists in a CW TV show very cute, but not in a threatening way.”

“I will take that as a compliment.” He says smiling, after that you two start to talk about everything, especially television. He tells you about how he spent most of his Friday nights, watching TV shows or movies. How he spent the last weekend watching Stranger things, and before that was Brooklyn Nine-Nine.

You told him about your favorite TV Shows or at least the ones that he would like. You convinced him to watch Gravity Falls and Community than was one of the best sitcoms ever and he would love all the references.

Then you two start to talk about movies, he told you that he is a big fan of Star Wars and you weren’t surprised at all.

You two talk for hours, about your favorite things, getting closer each time. His hand is holding yours and he keeps playing with your fingers. You wonder if he is going to kiss you and if you want him to kiss you. Looking at his brown eyes, you realize that yes, you do want to kiss him.

He is one of the nicest guys you ever meet; he was like a giant puppy that was excited about life. You liked that he was like that; he wasn’t trying to be cool and act like he didn’t care like most of the people that you know.

He was just being himself an adorable dork, your free hand goes to his face and you start to caresses his cheek. You tilt your head to the side, paying attention to what he was talking about and his lips.

He notices you staring, he smiles at you doing the same. You feel him get closer to you, putting his hand on your neck when you hear the door of the balcony being opened “I been looking for you for hours, what are you doing… oh… you here you are with, Peter?” You hear your friend say, you hide your face in your hand for a second before looking at her.

“You were with, Billy I didn’t want to interrupt you two.” You say staring at our friend, you are not mad that she interrupted you but you know that she is going to ask a thousand questions about you and Peter when the two are alone.

“ You should have, I wanted to spend time with you but well I see that you are busy so keep going but don’t forget to use protection and take care of her, Parker or I will kick your ass.” She says closing the door.

“I am so sorry for her, she is my oldest friend and she worries too much about me.”You say with a half-smile, you don’t want to scare him off at least not yet “It is okay, I know, Jasmine from the lab she is cool.”

You look at your watch and it is being 3 hours since you two are on this balcony talking, you don’t even notice how fast the time went by “Oh shit….I should go to my dorm, I have an exam tomorrow morning.” You say cursing yourself you don’t want this night to end.

You get up, taking off his jacket “Keep it, I will walk you into your dorm… I mean with you want.” You nod, taking his hand on yours. You wish you could blame the alcohol but that beer didn’t even let you tipsy, you just wanted to feel the feeling of his hands on yours.

You two walk slowly hand to hand, talking about your test and how nervous you were to fail it. It is a short walk, in 15 minutes you two are in front of your dorm “Thank you for walking with me.”

He puts a string of hair behind your ear “It was my pleasure, honestly you transformed a very boring night into an amazing one.” You put his hands on his waist getting closer to him “I should say the same to you, thank you for tonight, Peter.”

You feel his hands on your face holding you close, you close your eyes and he gets closer. You feel his lips on yours, he tastes like bubblegum and chocolate. The kiss is sweet and delicate like he was afraid to break you.

You depend on the kiss pulling him closer to you, his hands explore your back. When you break the kiss you rest your forehead on his smiling, that was one hell of a kiss. Before you can say anything, you hear his phone ringing.

He ignores the phone call kissing you again when the phone keeps rigging you break the kiss saying “You can answer that if you promise me to take me to breakfast after my exam.” You say playful, he nods saying “Deal, in the coffee shop close to the campus?”

You nod, giving him his jacket “It’s a date then.” You say kissing his cheek and getting inside of your building. You can wait for getting out of your exam tomorrow and spend your day with Peter Parker.

I don’t know what was that i never wrote a ´Peter fic ( at least not a full length like this) so i hope this is at least good. Please leave feedback telling what you thinking of it and i should write more Peter fics.

Tags: @jasmineladjevardi @randomtwistedlife @marvelandwinchesters927 @ballerinafairyprincess @its-daydreamer23 @supernatural-girl97 @widowsfics @spiderween @s7sense @buckyswinterchildren @esther-maslow-90 @you-should-love @amrita31199

#peter parker x reader #peter parker imagine #peter x reader #marvel imagine #marvel x reader

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blacksheetsdarkthoughts · 3 years

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11/03/18

The day my life changed forever.

The day started out as a normal Saturday morning. I woke up, drank my coffee and hydrated my body because I knew it was going to be another long night of drinking. I finally had a full weekend off and was so excited to go out and have a good time with my girlfriend and friends.

As the day progressed me and diana decided to go out and have drinks downtown together earlier in the day. We went to mulligans and had a few drinks and then decided to go to the balcony. That was a rare thing, we never left mulligans. As we were sitting outside drinking our vodka sprite I get a message request on Facebook from a girl named becka. I had no idea who this person was. I opened the message and it said "come downtown it's kaylah." My heart dropped and I suddenly felt very nervous, and not in a good way. It has been months since I had heard from her. I replied with "I am downtown" and clarified it was the kaylah I was thinking of. Although I knew from the moment I set eyes on that message. I only knew one kaylah with a name spelt like that. She replied asking where I would be and asking if I was "still with that chick." I told diana everything, and she suggested I pretended to not know which girl she was talking about. Diana wanted to meet her, and I remember having this gut feeling that it was a bad idea, but I obliged because I wanted to prove that I had nothing to hide. I wanted to show the girl I loved most that I chose her. That she has no reason to feel insecure or concerned about this girl who has broken my heart a year prior.

As the night progressed I get a call from an unknown number and I answer. It's kaylah, and she's outside fattys, which is where diana and I had ended up at that point. I walk outside to go get her and diana waited upstairs to meet her. As soon as I walked out and saw her standing on the sidewalk I got this warm fuzzy feeling all over my body, and I knew that I shouldn't have been that excited to see her, but I was. I remember thinking "wow she looks sick. I wonder what kind of drugs she's on." We walked upstairs and I introduced kaylah to diana. It was awkward for a second and then we all took shots. The night went on and diana and i drank and danced together and just laughed, while kaylah stood by as a third wheel. Her sister caused drama and told me not to break her heart, little did she know she was about to break mine. While we were getting ready to leave we are walking through the crowded bar, diana leading the way holding my hand and dragging my drunk body through the crowd, and I reach back to grab kaylah's hand to pull her behind me. That was my first mistake.

Diana and I start walking and end up getting in front of the old urban outfitters and order an uber. The uber arrives and we climb inside and my phone instantly starts ringing, I look down and barely recognize the number and I answer, it's kaylah. She's crying and saying her sister and her are fighting and she's getting left downtown, diana hears the commotion and offers for us to take her back to my place. I get out of the uber alone and find kaylah in the parking garage cleaning up her belongings off the ground as her sister peels out. We walk back to the uber and climb in, I remember thinking that the uber driver was so sweet for waiting for me to go get her. As we all three sat in the back seat I was holding hands with diana, on the right and kaylah sat to my left. She kept running her hand on my thigh so I grabbed it to move her and and she locked fingers with mine. I didn't say anything, I didn't move, I just held her hand on the left. I look back now and think maybe I was asking for it. That was my next mistake.

We get to my house, I set up a bed for kaylah on the couch and diana and I walk into my room to go to bed and she instantly starts an argument. Yelling and screaming and calling me a whore and blaming me for "letting my ex girlfriend spend the night." Even though it was all her idea. The entire night, was her idea. After 30ish minutes of name calling and belittling me, she decides to leave, after saying "maybe we should just break up, I'm done with you." She walks out, she left, she was gone.

Roughly five minutes after diana left I get a text from kaylah saying "I need your help." I instantly think the worst and go out to check on her, assuming she's thrown up on the carpet or the couch or is making a mess. I walk out and sit on the floor in front of the couch where she was laying. She seemed fine, we joked and I took a video asking "on a scale of 1 to 69 how drunk are you," in which she replied "69." She then proceeded to ask where diana was and I told her she left because she was mad at me. I started to tear up but didn't want to make her feel bad that Diana and I were fighting. That was an every night thing when we were drinking. That's when everything went out of my control.

Kaylah slid off the couch and leaned in to kiss me, I pushed her away in shock and all I could think about was "how could she disrespect me right now knowing I'm upset about diana leaving." But she didn't care. She pushed me down and climbed on top of me holding my wrists to the ground, trying to kiss me. I kept moving my head side to side, never letting our lips touch. Not a single time. I told her my wrists were hurting and begged her to get off me, while she pushed my wrists more firmly into the floor. Her response was "I'll get off you if we can go sleep in your bed together," to end it I replied with no. She didn't like that answer and told me she wouldn't get off me until I agreed, as my body was squirming to push her off me. I caved. I would do anything to get myself out of that moment. I just wanted to not feel suffocated with the weight of her body on mine.

We get to my room, and we lay in my bed. I put my body pillow between us so that there was no contact between our bodies. But that didn't stop her. Her hands kept wandering, and she kept saying how badly she wanted me, how beautiful I was, and how she messed up in the past. I just kept telling her I was tired and wanted to go to sleep. The next thing I remember is her climbing on top of me, grabbing my wrists so tightly and holding them above my head. I remember thinking "wow she's so skinny and so small but she's so strong." I felt weak, and vulnerable, and terrified. She kept trying to kiss me, and I kept moving my face so she could never land her lips on mine. She then let go of one of my wrists and I started to push against her chest, with all my strength, I tried my fucking hardest. She laughed and grabbed my wrist and put it with the other and held me down even tighter, thrusting her body against mine. I could feel her hip bones grinding into my body, her breath was hot on my face and smelled like cinnamon from all the fireball shots. She then slowly slid her hand into my pants and I clenched my legs as tight as I could saying "no I don't wanna do this please stop." I used all the strength in my body to hold my legs as close together as possible. But that didn't stop her. She forced herself inside me, making a comment about how "wet" I was. In that moment I felt like I deserved it. Why was my body reacting like I enjoyed this moment, when I had never felt more suffocated in my entire life. I had never felt more worthless, or ugly or deserving than I did in that exact moment in time. I begged, and pleaded for her to stop and she just kept shoving her fingers as deep as they would go. I then became limp, I had accepted my fate and my body went entirely numb. I started silently crying as she forced herself into me and took every ounce of dignity I had left. My body was rocking back and forth from the force of her hand thrusting inside me. This lasted probably a solid minute, but it felt like hours. I took a deep breath and she heard my sniffly nose and said "are you crying" to which I replied with "yes please just get off me I don't want this." She climbed off me and laid directly next to me trying to comfort me. All I wanted to do in that moment was go and sit in a bathtub full of bleach to get any trace of her off my body. I felt dirty, and disgusting, and like I had cheated on my girlfriend. I got up and went to the bathroom.

I texted one of my staff members "please call me and tell me you need me to come into work early." I hit send and walked out of the bathroom and she called me as soon as I walked back into my room. I answered and pretended like I knew nothing about why she was calling, stating that I would be there in less than an hour. I told kaylah to get up and get ready because we had to leave so I could drive her back to her car in nampa so I could get to work on time. She refused. She replied with "I've missed you and I'm not leaving until you lay down and cuddle me for just 20 minutes." I kept saying no and that we needed to leave right then, but she was persistent that she would not get out of my house until I cooperated. I laid down and she pulled me onto her chest, I laid there listening to her heart beat, it was slow and steady. Mine was racing out of my chest and I felt like I couldn't breathe. After about ten minutes my body just shut down, I fell asleep for an hour and then woke up and woke her up and forced her to get into my car. The sun was rising, and it was the longest 25 minute car ride I had ever experienced. In complete silence.

As soon as she got out of my car, I immediately drove to Diana's and told her every single thing that happened. She cried and apologized for leaving me alone with her, I cried and apologized for "letting" that happen. We fell asleep holding each other after sobbing for probably 2 hours at 7am.

That was the day my life changed forever. I can't help but think I deserved it. I held her hand in the bar and in the uber. I smiled at her, and laughed at her jokes, and I wasn't wearing underwear. I should have screamed for help, I should have called someone, I should have pushed her harder, I shouldn't have given up, I shouldn't have allowed her to take that experience from me. I should have been better, or smarter, or less nice. I can think of so many things I SHOULD HAVE done differently. But I didn't, and I get to live with that regret the rest of my life. And most days I want to die when I’m reminded of how little my body means to any one else but me. I get to live with the fear of saying "no" because it doesn't matter anyway. I feel like I don't matter, anyway.

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cptsdgavino · 7 years

Text

Hello everyone happy Mother’s Day weekend time to do the thing most of you follow me for and live up to my url, and write some terrible fahc Gavin centered hurt/comfort I guess! Warnings: child abuse, alcohol, ptsd, vomit, fahc violence (??)

For their reputation, the fake ah crew is horribly domestic. Disgustingly domestic in fact.

Michael can name dozens of times he’s walked in on Gavin and Jeremy arguing over who could eat the most cheese-its in a minute, or Jack and Geoff cuddling and reading together on the couch, and there’s something to be said about the feeling he got seeing the Vagabond of all people washing their dishes.

Michael, likes to have his most personal domestic conversations siting on the kitchen counter while someone messes around in the kitchen listening to him.

“She thinks someone’s living in our attic”

Geoff stops, a few bottles of liquor teetering dangerously on top of one another in his hands, “what the fuck do you mean”

Michael shrugs, “it’s Lindsay! She thinks some homeless guy is just hangin out, eating beans in our attic!”

Geoff moves again, hiding the bottles behind some cleaning supplies under the sink, when he stands back up he looks at Michael, “We don’t have an attic”

“I know that! For whatever reason she doesn’t believe me!”

“She knows what’s above your room it’s a pool, there’s a pool on our roof and not a single room in between our penthouse and the pool. I would know.” He grabs a few more bottles

“What the fuck are you doing, Geoff?” Michael asks.

Geoff looks down at his hands and sighs, “It’s May.”

“Oh…” Michael says quietly, hopping off the counter, “let me help you.”

“Hey Gav buddy, are you doing ok?”

Gavin jumps a little in his chair, “What? Yeah I’m fine I just gotta finish this then we can go out, okay?”

Michael looks at Ryan, and Ryan walks away from Gavin, a little defeated.

“Where are you taking him?” Michael says softly to Ryan.

Ryan smiles, “We’re just going out to dinner, but you know him we’ll probably end up going dancing or robbing a bank or something.”

“Two very different activities”

“Anything to keep his mind off of it, you know?” Ryan sighs.

Michael lowers his voice, “Meg said she’s flying Dan over as a surprise in a few days,” Ryan smiles big, Michael continues, “as long as he doesn’t have an emergency he should be here day after.”

“Day after?” Ryan sighs again, “we have to get him through day of?”

“It’s not like we haven’t before, Ryan” Ryan shifts nervously, “I know, but I feel like we’re less prepared this year.”

Michael groans, “Don’t say that! You’ve jinxed it!”

“Fuck”

“Hey, what are you lads talking about and why wasn’t I invited?” Gavin pushes his way past Michael into Ryan’s arms.

Michael crosses his arms, “You weren’t invited cause you’re a prick and we didn’t want your opinion.”

Gavin smiles, and Michael let’s out a quick breath of relief, “Awwwww, Michael boi! Don’t be like that. You have to be nice to me it’s my birthday soon!”

“Yeah that’s the only reason we have to be nice to you,” Michael laughs and Ryan looks at him panicked.

But Gavin starts to laugh harder, gasps out a little “that’s fair, boi” and Michael smiles triumphantly at Ryan.

Ryan rolls his eyes and kisses Gavin quick, “Let’s go Gav, we have a busy night.”

“Bye boi!” Gavin calls as Ryan leads him out the door, “see you later!”

When the door clicks, Michael pulls out his phone and shoots a text to Ryan that says very simply “seriously don’t let him drink tonight I swear you jinxed it be careful”

Ryan texts back “I didn’t jinx it”

Ryan jinxed it.

Despite all their efforts, despite Geoff and Jack’s years of practice, Saturday night rolled around and Gavin was nowhere to be found.

“It’s not even Mother’s Day yet we can’t be too worried” Jeremy says.

Jack turns to glare at him, “That’s not an excuse for you losing him”

Jeremy puts his hands up, “I didn’t lose him if I didn’t know I was supposed to be watching him!”

Jack rolls her eyes at Jeremy and sits down next to Geoff, head in her hands. Geoff absentmindedly starts to rub circles on her back and if Michael wasn’t so worried he’d think it’s sickeningly adorable.

“You’re all supposed to be watching him that’s the rule, Jeremy. You’ve been here for like three years,” Meg sighs and leans into Michael’s arms. Even with the illusion of calm on her face he can feel her heartbeat racing. “I can’t believe you lost my suicidal boyfriend,” she says quietly.

“Not suicidal as far as we know,” Geoff says, “just massively triggered and probably dangerous to himself and others.”

“Great, Geoff” Michael says sarcastically, “real helpful”

Geoff glares at Michael, “I’m sorry would you prefer me to have a panic attack because my idiot son is probably drunk facedown in a ditch because his actual family decided it was a good idea to hit him? Cause I’ll do it.”

“Please don’t” Jack mutters.

“It’s only been an hour or so,” Jeremy says “he couldn’t have gone far”

“He didn’t,” Ryan says, walking into the room.

“Excuse me?” Geoff says.

“I found him,” Ryan says, “he’s just locked himself in the bathroom, why didn’t anyone check the house first?”

Meg pushes herself out of Michael’s arms, “You’re all fucking idiots,” she snaps, then runs to the kitchen to find something to open the door.

“I’ll talk to him,” Michael volunteers, Geoff nods and follows him out.

When they reach the bathroom door there isn’t really any sign Gavin’s even in there until Michael knocks quietly.

“Leave me alone, Ryan” Gavin’s little warble comes in response.

“Boi? it’s me,” Michael says gently “Can I come in?”

“Leave me alone, Michael” this time he’s louder, and very clearly slurring his words, Geoff sighs heavily.

“Come on, boi,” Michael says, “I’m not mad at you, I just want to make sure you’re ok?” Gavin groans in reply.

“Gav come on you know me, I’ll even lock the door behind me until you’re ready to come out, just you and me we’ll be in a little bubble? Okay?”

For what feels like years there’s no response, long enough for meg to show up with a lock pick, a crowbar, and teary face. Geoff just pulls her to the side and shushes her. Eventually there’s a small click from the doorknob and Michael looks surprised back at Geoff. Geoff, with his arm wrapped around Meg, nods at Michael and Michael nods back understandingly before slipping inside the dark bathroom and locking it behind him just like he promised.

As his eyes adjust he can see Gavin sort of come into view, laying curled up in the empty bathtub, bottles of liquor fallen on the floor and a few lined up on the rim of the bathtub.

Michael smiles at him, “Geoff didn’t do a good job hiding them this year did he”

Gavin, smiles up at him, Michael can see he’s been crying, and his heart breaks just a little. “It would help if he- bloody didn’t keep ‘em in the same spot each year wouldn’t it?” Gavin slurs.

“Move over you fuckin alcoholic let me come cuddle” Michael says, squishing himself into the bathtub with Gavin. Gavin laughs a little bit as Michael gently elbows him, it’s a broken laugh, like he can’t bring himself to laugh completely. By the end of all the shuffling somehow Gavin’s on top of Michael, his head resting sort of on Michael’s shoulder, their hips pressed together, legs tangled.

“There,” Michael says, and Gavin lets his head fall against Michael’s. His breathing is shaky, Michael can feel it. The two of them just sit quietly together for a while, Gavin hiccuping quietly against Michael and Michael’s thumb absentmindedly rubbing comforting circles on Gavin’s bicep.

“M'sorry boi,” Gavin mutters quietly.

“Hey hey,” Michael says, and Gavin picks up his head to look at him better, “don’t say sorry, okay? You don’t need to, I get it”

“It’s every damn year” Gavin’s voice breaks.

Michael smiles, “Yeah that’s what holidays are”

“That’s not what I mean,” Gavin starts to tear up, starts wiping angerly at his eyes, “every year I feel like this every year I want to drink until I die and I scare you and Meg and Geoff and Jack and everyone! Every damn year!”

“It’s okay, Gavin” Michael whispers, masking the shake in his voice.

“It’s not,” he’s crying now, hot tears spill over his eyes and stream down his face,

“It’s not okay, it’s not fair it’s not fair it’s not fair!”

Michael chokes back a sob, “I know, boi”

“I just-” he hiccups again, his entire body shakes, “she did this to me. My own fucking mother. And I’m supposed to be thankful?”

“You’re not-” Michael starts to say but Gavin cuts him off

“She hated me. I hear her scream at me still it’s in my head it’s always been I’m a worthless, stupid, lazy arsehole who will never be anything other than that. I’m a liar and disrespectful and that’s all I am and look at me it’s all I still am I made a damn living out of it!” Michael watches him cry, there’s nothing he can do now.

“She hit me for lying. It’s all I do now and I’m good at it because she would hit me whenever I got caught. Tell me I wouldn’t get hit if I just told her the truth, right? God forbid I do that and have her hit me for the truth.”

Michael moves his hand up to wipe some tears off of Gavin’s face.

“I’m supposed to be thankful. Every commercial every billboard ‘say thanks to your mother this mother’s day for taking care of your awful disgusting arse! Appreciate all she did for you!’ It’s a little overwhelming don’t you think? You know, considering she didn’t fucking love me.”

“Gavin-” Michael tries to comfort him, but his voice breaks. He’s crying too he realizes, it’s too hard not to.

“It’s all my fault too” Gavin sobs, “if I was just better if I didn’t lie if I just tried harder she’d love me… she would.”

“Shut up,” Michael cries, gently holding Gavin’s face in his hand, “shut up you know that that’s not true” Gavin looks at him, shuts his eyes tight. “She doesn’t matter anymore Gavin, she’s not here. You have Jack and Geoff now and they’re not joking when they call you their kid, alright? They love you, no trying, no lying none of that involved, okay?” Michael takes in a shaky breath, “Besides this week isn’t even England’s Mother’s Day it’s America’s. You already missed yours.” This time Gavin doesn’t laugh, just lets his head fall into Michael’s shoulder,

“It’s not fair” he says quietly

“It’s not,” Michael replies, “and you don’t have to be thankful for her, ever.”

Gavin takes a shaky breath, “I want her dead”

“Next time I’m in England, I promise” Michael smiles.

They fall into silence, Gavin’s still crying. He cries quietly into Michael’s shoulder, hiccups occasionally and Michael squeezes him tighter with every jolt.

Any time he gets louder Michael tells him it’s okay, kisses his head, let’s him cry as much as he needs. Michael’s arm is numb by the time Gavin calms down enough to talk again.

“Hey Michael boi?” He whispers.

Michael kisses his dumb bleach blonde hair, “Yeah Gav?”

Gavin laughs weakly, “I’m gonna vom”

Michael laughs and sits him up in the tub, “Okay but probably not in here ok, come on let’s get you the four feet to the toilet!”

Michael pushes as hard as he can to get out from under Gavin and out of the bathtub. He grabs Gavin’s arm and pulls him towards the other end of the small room, “Up up lets go I don’t want to be puked on!”

Gavin makes it to the toilet, empties his entire stomach, and when he’s all done he curls himself around Michael, hanging on to him like a little kid. Michael would hate it if it were any other situation; Gavin’s hot, smells like vomit and is practically vibrating he’s shaking so much. But Michael clings just as tight to his best friend as he clings to him.

Eventually Gavin stops shaking so much, his muscles relax, and Michael breathes a sigh of relief.

“Boi?” Michael whispers against Gavin, Gavin hums in response, “I’m gonna go give you to Geoff now ok? He’s a lot better at taking care of you than I am and I’m sure he’s really worried. Is that okay?”

Gavin nods into Michael’s shoulder, and he lifts them both up off the floor, legs wobbly. He leads Gavin out of the bathroom, his eyes are far away and he doesn’t look quite like himself anymore.

Its dark in the hallway now, Meg and Geoff are sitting on the floor a little ways down, they practically jump up to greet Gavin. Meg reaches him first, wraps her arms around his torso and kisses every part of his face she can reach. Gavin smiles a little bit and leans away from Michael to hug her back, whispering he loves her.

When she lets go gently, she picks up Gavin’s bunny off the floor of the hallway and presses it into his arms. Like clockwork Gavin presses his face into his stuffed animal and lets out a sob, his legs wobble and Michael catches him. Michael leads Gavin past a teary eyed Meg, right into Geoff’s arms. Gavin basically falls into him, and Geoff holds him tight, already crying into his hair.

Michael backs up, grabs Meg’s hand. He watches as Geoff peppers kisses all along Gavin’s forehead and hair. Michael can see even from where he’s standing that Gavin melted into Geoff’s touch. Meg squeezes Michael’s hand and Michael looks at her.

“Thank you” she whispers.

“Course,” Michael whispers back, “he’s my boi, I love him.”

#kit writes #haven't in a long fuckin time wow have fun #fake ah crew #fahc gavin #turnfreewood #child abuse /#ragehappy #fahc michael #my stuff

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