starcchild - Tumblr blog

starcchild · 16 days

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I know you said sometime ago you don't think Carter has a martyr complex, but do you think she could have a good girl syndrome? Despite the name, it affects mostly women and even some men so Carter could have it despite being genderqueer. It's marked by self-sacrifice, fear of rejection, perfectionism, past trauma, putting others first, issues with body image, etc. I was reading abt this today and Carter popped up in my mind but you know her better than I do

((thank you for bringing up the martyr complex thing, because yeah I was totally wrong about that fdgjkhdfsg - I'm gonna say she does have a martyr complex, because looking it back up again, yeah, it absolutely tracks. I think when it first came up I either misunderstood the meaning or found a description that wasn't accurate? I wanna say what I was reading was only linking it back to hero syndrome and victim complex, which don't feel fitting for her at all, which was why I was against it, because those don't... feel accurate for her. But, yeah, martyr complex definitely does, ahah.

anyway, I have never heard of good girl syndrome until now, and oh my god, does that fit. She very much so, in both cases, has the issue of people pleasing to a self-sacrificial degree; is terrified of abandonment which leads into, at the very best, a discomfort with rejection and a fear of it at worst; needs to be perfect no matter what; and is perhaps eager (though unintentionally so) to put her needs last if it means helping someone else she cares about. She does have issues with gender dysphoria, though I'm not really sure if it would necessarily be classified with the good girl syndrome or just its own thing because of her being genderqueer and her struggles with trying to understand herself/her identity before she found a label that worked.

#asks #anons #ground control (ooc)

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starcchild · 17 days

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Send “💓” to listen to my muse’s heartbeat!

Alternatively, send “❣️” for my muse to listen to your muse’s heartbeat!

Note: Can be taken in any context

#ask meme

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starcchild · 19 days

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Kaveh Akbar, from Calling A Wolf A Wolf: Poems; “Personal Inventory: Fearless (Temporis Fila)”

#musings

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starcchild · 21 days

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[tarnishedxknight] (for everybody!) ★

Send my character a ★ and I’ll bold everything they feel toward your character. @tarnishedxknight

Basch

I like you // I love you // You’re one of my best friends // You’re like family // You are family // I dislike you // I hate you // I’d kill you if I got the chance // I want you to like me // I’m scared of you // I would adopt you // I’d date you // I’d sleep with you // I’d marry you // I’m worried about you // You confuse me // You’re annoying // I pity you // I respect you // I trust you // I feel protective of you // I’d invite you with me to parties // I’d lend you my money // I’d borrow your money // You’re good-looking // I’m suspicious of you // I’m hiding something from you // You’re fun // You’re boring // I’m upset with you // You’re nice // You’re mean // I’m envious of you // You’re smart // You’re stupid // I look up to you // I think you’re a better person than me // I think I’m a better person than you // I want to apologize to you // I wish I’d never met you // I never want to forget you // I want to get to know you better

Ashelia

I like you // I love you // You’re one of my best friends // You’re like family // You are family // I dislike you // I hate you // I’d kill you if I got the chance // I want you to like me // I’m scared of you // I would adopt you // I’d date you // I’d sleep with you // I’d marry you // I’m worried about you // You confuse me // You’re annoying // I pity you // I respect you // I trust you // I feel protective of you // I’d invite you with me to parties // I’d lend you my money // I’d borrow your money // You’re good-looking // I’m suspicious of you // I’m hiding something from you // You’re fun // You’re boring // I’m upset with you // You’re nice // You’re mean // I’m envious of you // You’re smart // You’re stupid // I look up to you // I think you’re a better person than me // I think I’m a better person than you // I want to apologize to you // I wish I’d never met you // I never want to forget you // I want to get to know you better

Noah

I like you // I love you // You’re one of my best friends // You’re like family // You are family // I dislike you // I hate you // I’d kill you if I got the chance // I want you to like me // I’m scared of you // I would adopt you // I’d date you // I’d sleep with you // I’d marry you // I’m worried about you // You confuse me // You’re annoying // I pity you // I respect you // I trust you // I feel protective of you // I’d invite you with me to parties // I’d lend you my money // I’d borrow your money // You’re good-looking // I’m suspicious of you // I’m hiding something from you // You’re fun // You’re boring // I’m upset with you // You’re nice // You’re mean // I’m envious of you // You’re smart // You’re stupid // I look up to you // I think you’re a better person than me // I think I’m a better person than you // I want to apologize to you // I wish I’d never met you // I never want to forget you // I want to get to know you better

Drace

I like you // I love you // You’re one of my best friends // You’re like family // You are family // I dislike you // I hate you // I’d kill you if I got the chance // I want you to like me // I’m scared of you // I would adopt you // I’d date you // I’d sleep with you // I’d marry you // I’m worried about you // You confuse me // You’re annoying // I pity you // I respect you // I trust you // I feel protective of you // I’d invite you with me to parties // I’d lend you my money // I’d borrow your money // You’re good-looking // I’m suspicious of you // I’m hiding something from you // You’re fun // You’re boring // I’m upset with you // You’re nice // You’re mean // I’m envious of you // You’re smart // You’re stupid // I look up to you // I think you’re a better person than me // I think I’m a better person than you // I want to apologize to you // I wish I’d never met you // I never want to forget you // I want to get to know you better

#tarnishedxknight #asks #((ngl this made me realize Carter would 100% have a crush on Drace given she wasn't in a relationship #with Basch and/or Ashe sdfkhjfsd - but even then she'd absolutely find Drace attractive lol))#((also this is a bit of a hodgepodge with verses with Noah and Drace #so with Noah I was going more with what interactions they have had where they managed to get a tentative positive relationship going at bes #but also more of the negative stuff isn't quite fitting on Carter's end? she doesn't dislike him but she's definitely cautious around him #and she really doesn't see him as mean - more just... angry and hurting #and then since she and Drace haven't interacted yet (which one day I'll change sgdkhjdf) I went with that felt best for what #brief acknowledging interactions they could have that'd make sense))

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starcchild · 22 days

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@tarnishedxknight - continued from here

The moment Ashelia responded, Carter knew she was right to trust her gut. It was her nervous chuckle - the way she refused and attempted to deflect. How she insisted she was fine, even though... that hadn't been what Carter had asked. Not that she wasn't worried -and even more so now - but... Her heart began to ache, and she wordlessly reached up to cup her girlfriend's face as Ashelia fidgeted with the hem of her shirt. Her thumbs gently brushing over her skin as she tilted her head.

"Of- of course I- I wouldn't mind," Carter whispered, "I- I wouldn't have off-offered if I- I did. Ashe..." It pained her to see her so vulnerable, and the moment she saw her tears... Her heart broke. But, for a moment, she remained where she was, gently brushing aside a few of her tears as they came, and listened silently to her fears. Guilt and grief burning in the back of her throat. How long had Ashelia been suffering alone with such a thing? How was she just noticing something was off now?

"Oh, Ashe..." Carter breathed, and pulled her close into a tight hug. She reached up one hand to cradle the back of her girlfriend's head as her other arm wrapped around her back, and kissed the side of her head. "I'm- I'm not go-going anywhere, baby. I'm- I'm right here, yeah? Al-always. You- you don't need to- to be alone with those- those kinds of- of thoughts any-anymore." There was no way in hell she was going to leave her side now. It didn't matter where Ashelia wanted to go, if she wanted to stay there or go back to her own room or even out in the common room - Carter wasn't going to leave her side. It wasn't something she could always do, but...

She'd worry about that later. For now, at least, she could stay.

Slowly, Carter rubbed Ashelia's back comfortingly, and continued to hold her close. "I've- I've got you," she murmured. "You're- you're not alone any-anymore, love. I'm- I'm not going to- to leave."

#tarnishedxknight #v; i know you miss the world the one you knew #s; so i pour my heart out into your hands it's like you really understand / Carter & Ashelia / tarnishedxknight

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starcchild · 22 days

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@tarnishedxknight - continued from here

As alarming as it was to be unintentionally woken by Basch's nightmares, Carter preferred it. It meant she could comfort him and help him come back to reality. Meant she could be there for him, just as he'd been there for her, time after time. Because... the idea of sleeping through it, of not being there for him while he suffered, damn near broke her heart.

She never mind sitting beside him. Never minded murmuring to him and holding him. Never minded staying up after, to be sure he was alright before either of them attempted to sleep again. And that night was no different, even as her heart raced uncomfortably in her chest from the sudden start. She shifted slightly to get more comfortable, to get a little closer, and gently brushed her fingers over his skin. Although her voice was low and thick with sleep, she was content with her quiet murmurs against his shoulder, reassuring him she was there, she had him, and he wasn't alone.

As Basch came back to her, her relief was short-lived. Her heart clenched hearing his whisper, and Carter shook her head lightly in response. Not once moving from his side as she kissed his shoulder again. "There's- there's nothing to for-forgive," she murmured, and closed her eyes as he rested his head on hers. Her thumb still rubbing against his side. "You've- you've done noth-nothing wrong, my love. I- I would mu-much rather be awa-awake with you than- than let you go- go through this a-alone." Oh, how the thought alone hurt, and she slowly lifted her head and gazed up at him with such devotion before she pressed her head to his. As she nuzzled him, and still held him close. Content to stay where she was as he caught his breath and his mind began to steady, no matter how long it took. "I'm- I'm always here for- for you, Basch."

Reluctantly, she pulled her head away as he spoke again, and tilted her head. Her brow furrowed slightly. "May-maybe for some, but I- I can sleep through- through almost any-anything." Carter couldn't help but smile faintly at that - a faint trace of humor breaking through her tired voice. "A- a light won't both-bother me, I- I promise." But that smile faltered, and she pulled one hand away so she could brush her fingers through his hair and out of his face. So she could cradle Basch's cheek, and keep his gaze. "You- you are," she whispered. "You- you are stronger, Basch. Just be-because you need an- an aid doesn't mean you're- you're weak. There's- there's no shame in- in taking such- such help."

She offered another smile, and leaned up to press a gentle kiss to his lips. "Not- not at all," she said softly. "I'll- I'll do any-anything for you, my love. Kee-keeping a light on at- on at night won't both-bother me in the- the slightest."

For a moment, Carter stayed where she was, before she gave him another kiss, and reluctantly pulled away from him to slip out of bed. She paused to stretch once she stood up, unable to stop herself from yawning, and shuffled her way across the room and to the bathroom. She flipped on the light and closed the door, leaving just a crack for the light to peer out through - something bright for Basch to focus on, but just a sliver to prevent either of them from being kept awake. For now, at least, she hoped it would work. A night light would be better, she knew, with its far softer glow, but they would have to get one. Perhaps there was one lying around the compound somewhere.

Not that it mattered then. There was a solution there, at least, and that was what she cared about. She shuffled her way back across the room, and quickly slipped back into bed - curling up against her partner's side once more as she rested her head back against him, and wrapped her arms around him. Eager to be in his warmth again, just as much as she was to comfort him. "Does- does that work for- for now?"

#tarnishedxknight #v; i know you miss the world the one you knew #s; and i found love where it wasn't supposed to be / Carter & Basch / tarnishedxknight #panic attack tw

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starcchild · 24 days

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Send my character a ★ and I’ll bold everything they feel toward your character.

I like you // I love you // You’re one of my best friends // You’re like family // You are family // I dislike you // I hate you // I’d kill you if I got the chance // I want you to like me // I’m scared of you // I would adopt you // I’d date you // I’d sleep with you // I’d marry you // I’m worried about you // You confuse me // You’re annoying // I pity you // I respect you // I trust you // I feel protective of you // I’d invite you with me to parties // I’d lend you my money // I’d borrow your money // You’re good-looking // I’m suspicious of you // I’m hiding something from you // You’re fun // You’re boring // I’m upset with you // You’re nice // You’re mean // I’m envious of you // You’re smart // You’re stupid // I look up to you // I think you’re a better person than me // I think I’m a better person than you // I want to apologize to you // I wish I’d never met you // I never want to forget you // I want to get to know you better

#ask meme

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starcchild · 25 days

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Pin for survivors

#ground control (ooc)#((I absolutely love this but boy howdy did it not help my focus SDFGJHDFSJKH #however it was a lot of fun spamming my friends with boops while I was on my breaks during work xD))

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starcchild · 26 days

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((tumblr why would I boop myself

((what is this boop thing

#ground control (ooc)#((I'm so confused sdfkhjsfdkjh))#((credit where credit is due though: at least they follow the ''confuse don't abuse'' approach to pranks sdfgkjhsd))

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starcchild · 26 days

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((what is this boop thing

#ground control (ooc)#((I know it's their april fools thing but I'm so confused fdskgjdf))

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starcchild · 28 days

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((I need to stop looking at the le.go site omg

#ground control (ooc)#((to be fair I honestly don't know if I'm gonna write tonight because I am Tired #but I have the weekend off so I definitely plan to be around!))

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starcchild · 28 days

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((*stroking my computer screen* le.go rive.ndell my beloved,,,

#ground control (ooc)#((I made the mistake of looking at the lego site because I discovered there had been a le.go ame.lia ea.rhart set #which i impulse bought but shhhh fsdkhjsdfkj #and uhhhh #*lays head in my hands*#I love the rive.ndell set so much it's not even funny #and the avengers tower - that set I adore #but;;;; money #and also space like holy hell even if I could afford all the sets I want #I got no room sdfgkjhsdfhjk - I have two small sets I got from work #because we sell le.go and I get a decent discount on them #but I gotta clear off the top of my desk before I build them so I can stick them up there #but I have no room for those larger sets which is a tragedy in its own right sdfgkhjsfdkhj #but also they have a concorde set and hhhhhhh))

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starcchild · 28 days

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Questions/Comments to be sent anonymously!

(though off anon is fine too!)

“Is there someone you hold dear?”

“Don’t you feel any guilt?”

“You’re actually afraid to be alone, aren’t you?”

“There must be something you fear.”

“Do you have a home?”

“Is there someone you like?”

“Are you really expecting a positive outcome out of this?”

“Aren’t you ashamed?”

“Aren’t you happy?”

“Who do you despise?”

“How do you sleep at night?”

“How do you manage to keep going despite everything?”

“What do you think of kindness?”

“What do you think of hatred?”

“Why do you fight?”

“Why do you live?”

“How much blood have you spilled?”

“How much death have you seen?”

“Don’t you think your actions are reckless?”

“Don’t you know how much good you’ve done for others?”

“Can’t you tell they love you?”

“Can’t you see he/she would die for you?”

“Can’t you see that they hate you?”

“Can’t you tell the truth for once?”

“You’re not tainted.”

“You’re not alone.”

“You’re awful.”

“You don’t think of anyone but yourself.”

“You’re an emotionless robot.”

“You’re just a lap dog.”

“It’s not over.”

“He/she needs you.”

“Stop lying.”

“Stop fighting.”

“Stop pushing others away.”

“You’re cruel.”

“You’re far too kind. Too kind for your own good.”

“You depend on him/her too often.”

“You’re overprotective, it’s stifling.”

“You’re too impulsive, it’s reckless.”

“You’re too careless, it’s a liability.”

“He/she is bringing you down.”

“You’re too timid, it’s easy to see you as a target.”

“You need to listen.”

“You need to speak up more often.”

“You’re weak.”

“You’re strong. Stronger than you’ll ever know.”

“You’re too proud.”

“Quit blaming others for your mistakes.”

“You won’t always be around to save him/her.”

“One day, he/she won’t need you anymore.”

“You can’t cheat death.”

“You can’t hide forever.”

“They’ll find out the truth eventually.”

“That person is only holding you back.”

“They’re too good for you.”

“You’ll be rewarded for your efforts if you keep trying.”

“It will get better.”

“You look lonely.”

“You look bitter.”

“You look tired.”

“You’re hiding a painful burden.”

“You’re perfect.”

“You’re beautiful.”

“You will always be worthless.”

“Your hands are too dirty, too tainted to be clean.”

“You’re lost in this world. Wandering without a purpose.”

“You’ll rise above them all.”

“You’ll find your place in this world.”

“Eventually, someone will knock you off your pedestal.”

#ask meme

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starcchild · 29 days

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Send me "&" for my muses reaction to yours tracing one of their scars.

#ask meme

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starcchild · 30 days

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((hopefully I'll be on more this weekend! things are nuts at work with it being spring back and right before easter, and I am v tired sfdhjgds

#ground control (ooc)#((our sales have been up which is fantastic because it's been hella bad for a while now sfdjhsfd #but I would love for parents to actually parent and like. not leave their children unattended to run around the store))#((also if people could stop stealing and graffiting our bathrooms that would be fantastic))

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starcchild · 30 days

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@illbringthechaosmagic - continued from here

The moment Carter had found Wanda, she had sat by her, and gently spoke to her. She was careful to leave some distance between them, not wanting to overcrowd her, and was careful not to touch her. But the moment her wife came back to, Carter wasted no time in pulling her as close as she could and holding her tight. But as she cried...

Her heart broke as Wanda cried in her arms, and with a slow breath to keep herself steady, Carter just held her tighter and pressed a kiss to the side of her head. Her eyes squeezed shut as she then pressed her cheek against Wanda's head. "Don-don't apologize, baby," she murmured, and gently brushed her fingers through her hair. "You've- you've done noth-nothing wrong. I've- I've got you. Jus-just focus on me, y-yeah? You're- you're safe."

#illbringthechaosmagic #s; love you're not alone 'cause i'm gonna stand by you / carter & wanda / illbringthechaosmagic #pv; i found a home in you #panic attack tw

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starcchild · 30 days

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@illbringthechaosmagic - continued from here

"Yeah, I- I know," Carter said with a sheepish chuckle, and winced as Wanda dabbed at the bleeding bump on her forehead. "I- I, uh... got the- the sink fixed at- at least?" She simply hadn't backed out all the way from beneath the sink when she tried to sit up, as embarrassing as it was. But... at least she wouldn't need stitches - that was definitely something she wouldn't want to explain to any doctor.

A small smile quirked over her lips as her wife placed a plaster over the cut, and tilted her forehead into the kiss. Her sheepish expression softening as she gazed at Wanda fondly. "Wha-what would I- I do with-without you?" she joked, and leaned her cheek against her palm. Her eyes fluttering shut as she returned the kiss just as sweetly. Warmth swelling in her chest as the throbbing pain from the bump on her head quickly slipped from her attention. "I'm- I'm okay, Polaris. Just- just wasn't paying atten-tention."

#illbringthechaosmagic #s; love you're not alone 'cause i'm gonna stand by you / carter & wanda / illbringthechaosmagic #pv; i found a home in you

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