squirrellythief
Fiction Surplus
SquirrellyThief's Nonsense 30-adjacent | United States | She/Her | Ace | Microbiologist, Writer, Artist Commission Info Art Tag Find me on Ao3
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One thing about working for a for-profit lab is sometimes the cognitive dissonance when it comes to ethics and data integrity is enough to make your head spin.
Like, do you want us to do this like scientists, or do you want to turn a profit. Sometimes you can’t have both.
And every time I try to put my foot down wrt this I get talked down to like I’m a lunatic for suggesting it 🤣🤣
God I miss research.
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Someday I’ll get back to writing movie reviews, fanfics, and metas. But today is not that day.
I’m just so burnt out and my life is just… work. All the way down. Work and struggling to maintain a social life and slowly losing my mind the whole time.
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Back on this soap box because my socials be wild tonight.
In that, again, it is so often the people struggling who are blamed for that struggle.
I’m so exhausted by the back and forth of “I’m struggling. I shouldn’t be struggling. This system is broken” and “well who did you vote for”
My brother in Christ, we did not have winning options. We still don’t. We never will until the system collapses and changes. Every 2-4 years it’s a battle of lesser evils. Of inches and incremental changes.
Of fucking nonsense that tries to blame the struggling for struggling. That still wants to see poverty as a moral failing.
My share of my rent right now is HALF my monthly pay. And that’s DOWN from the 2/3s it was before. Between that, my medical expenses, and my monstrous student loan payments I squeak by okay because I don’t have a car and only really have myself to look after.
This is the cost of reliable work.
I heard from my dad a lot to just “go where the work is” and I had been very prepared to do that fresh out of college. But no one seems to remember that moving is expensive. INCREDIBLY so. Especially when you are one not-very-strong person with few able bodied friends and no car trying to move cross country at a moment’s notice. When you want to just settle and build a life somewhere and not be a fucking drifter.
But what gets me back on this post is the fact that every time someone says “why are we letting the rich corporations suck the souls right out of us by taking away our safety and security in the form of financial warfare.” Someone has to say “well you’re just not doing it right.”
Like, fuck that. We’re a community, a society, we should be able to fucking take care of each other. We shouldn’t have to scrape and struggle and suffer. No one should. No one NEEDS to.
But here we are.
There’s something weirdly disheartening about seeing someone else struggle to find a job while having an education and all the comments are like “well it’s because you have a BA” or “it takes years at a job before you feel like you’re getting paid what you deserve.”
Like, I have a BS and an MS and all I could snag was entry level work for barely more than minimum wage because I was too poor to move around the country and be a contractor.
But that’s what all the jobs in my field are. Contract work. No benefits. Gotta move on your own dime. No guarantee you’ll have a job in six months.
It really irks me how quick people are to blame the choices of education and not the absolute atrocity that is the job market.
Literally the only reason I get paid what I do now is because I stopped an entire department from going under by working 50-60 hour weeks.
This week I’ve worked 24 of the last 48 hours but I still get told I barely meet the expectations management has for me. Even though I do the work of two people.
I’m so tired. I dislike the work I do. I hate the people I work for. I bust my ass for people who don’t appreciate me. But when I look for jobs in my field it’s
Just
Contract
Work.
Or entry level jobs that don’t pay me enough to afford an apartment. Or jobs that REQUIRE you to have a car.
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I haven’t been on much lately because my work/life balance is SHOT.
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pro lifer blocked me on twitter for asking this but if embryos have souls, and then they're aborted, exactly how sapient are they in the afterlife? Are they forever doomed to float around with no thoughts in their heads? Is it like just animal intelligence like a little happy goldfish? Do they still have an embryonic form? I've always seen an assumption that child souls are still in child form so I guess so. Do the other people in the afterlife keep abortions as little pets? Will they stay in a fishbowl or are they too stupid + intangible and float right out again?
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"have you learned how to drive yet" i have the spirit of friendship in my heart. the joy of lifes little things in my soul. the whimsy of magic. the beautiful enjoyment of nature. the answer is no though
#I know how to drive#I just am terrified of driving#to the point where it isn’t safe#and I haven’t been able to get my license#like why the fuck would I want to go dozens of mph in a metal death trap
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There’s something weirdly disheartening about seeing someone else struggle to find a job while having an education and all the comments are like “well it’s because you have a BA” or “it takes years at a job before you feel like you’re getting paid what you deserve.”
Like, I have a BS and an MS and all I could snag was entry level work for barely more than minimum wage because I was too poor to move around the country and be a contractor.
But that’s what all the jobs in my field are. Contract work. No benefits. Gotta move on your own dime. No guarantee you’ll have a job in six months.
It really irks me how quick people are to blame the choices of education and not the absolute atrocity that is the job market.
Literally the only reason I get paid what I do now is because I stopped an entire department from going under by working 50-60 hour weeks.
This week I’ve worked 24 of the last 48 hours but I still get told I barely meet the expectations management has for me. Even though I do the work of two people.
I’m so tired. I dislike the work I do. I hate the people I work for. I bust my ass for people who don’t appreciate me. But when I look for jobs in my field it’s
Just
Contract
Work.
Or entry level jobs that don’t pay me enough to afford an apartment. Or jobs that REQUIRE you to have a car.
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I want to clear up a mistake people make with Azula and Ursa.
Ursa didn’t play favorites.
Ursa didn’t think Azula was a monster.
Ursa simply, unequivocally, just didn’t enable Azula’s worst traits like Ozai did.
Ozai’s favorite child was Azula, but Ursa still loved her more.
Because enabling isn’t love.
What did Ozai’s enabling do? It made Azula into the type of person to never have any loyal friends. It made the type of person that Mai and Tai Lee would betray at the risk of their own lives.
Ursa pushed Azula to be with her friends. To be with Zuko. Ozai pushed Ursa away, and both kids suffered for it. Azula became a sadist, enjoying seeing her brother get burned—while Zuko was pushed away because he cared for his people.
Azula thought her mom hated her because her mom was the only one who cared enough to tell her no.
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So I recently made a royal road account and I hope to start posting some (updated) original fiction over there. Some of it will be stuff I posted the rough, rough, rough drafts of 5+ years ago. Some of it will be new.
Gonna start with short fiction and then, hopefully, build up to serialized pieces.
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One of these days I’ll finish writing the piece I outlined and roughed out about the very specific kind of anxiety that exists within intimate relationships for an asexual person. Not an essay, a piece of fiction.
It’s a hard thing to describe very simply. But evocative language could get it across.
I just wish… people understood. I wish it was easier to convey these points without feeling guilty. I wish there wasn’t the mistranslation of “I don’t want to” to “I don’t like you.”
I hate feeling like an asshole and a prude because I don’t get worked up the way non-ace people do.
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Blue Eye Samurai really came at me with my favorite ship dynamic of all time:
“No one can kill you but me”
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Mizu, in every single episode, without fail:
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I will forever be angry that Mama Bear Ursa Major didn’t fucking do everything in her power to throw hands with Ozai when he made a public spectacle of MAIMING THE SON SHE COMMITTED REGICIDE TO SAVE like.
I REFUSE.
Give me an Ursa that goes out after landing one solid punch to her ex-husband’s face in a fit of maternal fury.
Watching the live action avatar and I am once again reminded that I feel the same way about Ursa’s endgame that most people feel about Aang’s parenting reveal in Korra.
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Watching the live action avatar and I am once again reminded that I feel the same way about Ursa’s endgame that most people feel about Aang’s parenting reveal in Korra.
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