Bisexual flag that says "Fuck 'em."

OMG JUST REMEMBERED I BEAR THE CURSE 😍

hitting you really hard with my tail btw. it's super soft tho so it did no damage. in fact it healed you. you're welcoem

Chris Pratt has a Brooklyn accent as Mario in the same way that la croix has fruit flavors

Finally watched the new Mario movie and I hate that they didn't give Mario like any accent

A horseshoe crab being a home to other sea creatures!

i bet crossing spears with someone to block entry into a location feels so fucking good

Surprise!! It got worse again!!

Does We're Alive get less weird about women?

I've heard a ton of good things about it but it's giving me the ick with how they're constantly describing women and having the women be hysterical and catty and shit while the men aren't being described at all, and aren't having the same interpersonal issues.

I love zombies so I'm hoping it gets better

i get so scared. and i get scared again. yuo are never gonna calm me down. i get so scared. and i get scared again. you are never gonna calm me down. i drink a nervous drink. i drink a frightened drink. i drink an anxious drink, i drink a scary drink. i fear the scares that remind me of the scary times. i fear the scares that remind me of the horror times

Them: why are you competing in our cooking show today?

Me: the government banned gladiator matches yet I yearn for glory in the arena

Libraries, dude

Libraries are the BEST. You're telling me I can borrow this book for FREE and I can use the computers for FREE??? You're telling me this whole space HAS TO BE QUIET??? This place is somewhere you can go FOR FREE???

you have to stay alive. you're going to be such a beautiful middle aged freak. young freaks will see you in the street and know that things can be okay.

wish i could go missing for a little bit and no one would freak out and then i could come back and they'd be like "did you have fun going missing" and i'd be like "yeah, thanks" and then i could do that every couple of months or so and it wouldn't be a big deal

ladies and gentlemen this is garlic number 2