ooc // I FORGOT ABOUT THIS ACCOUNT WHO DID I OWE REPLIES TO??

Violet’s body language got less tense as they went on, becoming much more open with the anxious girl finally allowing herself to slouch down in the chair she was sitting in. Her limbs were no longer tense and her breathing seemed much more normal, but the tears didn’t stop flowing. This was very obviously something that would keep her upset for a good while.

“Sorry.. I didn’t know where else to go.” She broke her silence after a few rounds of breaths, honestly feeling bad that her emotions had interrupted Ed’s day. Sure it didn’t seem like he minded all that much, but Violet was far from used to allowing outsiders to observe what was going on in her head. “Can you uhm- not tell anybody please?” She added desperately, getting slightly riled up again for a second

🚪(from violet, i’m gonna say she’s having a panic attack for the first time and thought she was dying)

/* 🚪 my muse shows up at yours’ door looking less than stellar */

Violet knocking on Ed's office door was... a surprise. Not that her showing up at his office was a surprise, she usually just... appeared in his office, usually without him noticing. The knocking was new.

She looked terrible. Pale, like she was about to faint.

"Violet?" he asked. "Come in, have a seat." He guided her into a his office, making sure she made it into the chair across from his desk before shutting his office door.

He didn't bother asking if she was alright, it was obvious she wasn't. What he didn't understand was why she went to him, instead of Sam, but that knowledge made him postpone calling her guardian until he had a better understanding of the situation.

"Hey, what's going on?" he asked.

Call my muse by their full name! See how they react!

Violet was taken a little bit by surprise at the compliment, not quite knowing how to answer it. To fill the gap of silence she cleared her throat, eventually deciding she wasn’t going to address it at all. Instead she’d just look at at the section of the report Eve pointed out and move on, hoping she wouldn’t have to talk about herself any more. It wasn’t that she didn’t know how Viva felt about her. The program and her user were like twin sisters both in appearance and personality, give or take a few differences. The problem was that she was uncomfortable speaking about herself as if she were a god.

“Sometimes I think she wants that.” She looked at Eve, this being the only thing regarding herself she was comfortable saying. She truly had been getting sick of the outside world lately.

STARTER FOR @evecolourshock

She hadn’t been doing this for long. Only about a week ever since she was given no choice but to take her treasured program, Viva offline. There was no problems with here, none at all. The unique security program that helped Violet feel closer to her mom in a way that didn’t hurt her further was functioning as well as ever, bringing attention to dangerous flaws within the system in all her rebellious glory. She had done a lot for the system since her implementation and Violet was always sure to check her logs every day and keep her updated, ready to face any problem that might arise.

That was until her social worker made her stop. Viva interfered with her studies, she said, and there was nothing Sam could do to stop it unless he formally adopted her right then and there, something neither him nor Violet felt ready for at the moment. Not wanting to risk being taken away and put with a family she absolutely couldn’t stand again, Violet had no choice but to obey. She knew it was the best thing for her in the end as living with Sam had done more good things for her than writing the program had and she didn’t want to put an end to that, but it didn’t change the fact that she felt like she had no control over her activities. She felt overpowered, and she just couldn’t let that happen. She didn’t want to let anyone else know that she submitted,

including Viva’s fellow programs.

So, that led her here. Wearing Viva’s suit and performing her duties for her in the Grid, pretending like she was never taken offline in the first place. She created Viva, gave her all the information she had by writing her in the first place. It can’t be that hard to pretend to be your own creation, right? Wrong. It was harder than she ever could have imagined living a double life like this, hurrying to the basement of the arcade the very second she got home from school every day. She honestly felt like Spiderman or some other superhero, constantly having to juggle two different identities at once. But she just couldn’t let go, nor could she admit defeat. The girl closed her eyes as she rematerialized in the Grid, giving herself just enough time to process the transition before heading out into the world to join her “fellow programs”.

“I’m fine.” She almost cut her off, forgetting for a second that she was asking Viva. Not Violet. Neither the user nor her program had been having super good times lately with one having witnessed the downfall of an entire community and the other questioning whether she currently did or would ever have control over her own life or not. Viva’s experience was definitely worse though, and as horrible as it sounded, that sort of reassured Violet knowing that her response at least made some sense.

The teen took a deep breath before redirecting her attention towards the report, moving a little closer to Eve so she could read it without taking it from her hands. God, this is horrible. She thought, cringing as she read through it. Worst of all, that was her best attempt at making it look like it came from Viva’s perspective and not hers. She wasn’t confident she could add anything that would make it make more sense to Eve and figured the best thing to do was solve the problem from the outside later. “Sam’s very good at figuring things out. I bet he can make sense of the report the way it is.” She added, neglecting to mention herself as she didn’t want to sound cocky.

STARTER FOR @evecolourshock

She hadn’t been doing this for long. Only about a week ever since she was given no choice but to take her treasured program, Viva offline. There was no problems with here, none at all. The unique security program that helped Violet feel closer to her mom in a way that didn’t hurt her further was functioning as well as ever, bringing attention to dangerous flaws within the system in all her rebellious glory. She had done a lot for the system since her implementation and Violet was always sure to check her logs every day and keep her updated, ready to face any problem that might arise.

That was until her social worker made her stop. Viva interfered with her studies, she said, and there was nothing Sam could do to stop it unless he formally adopted her right then and there, something neither him nor Violet felt ready for at the moment. Not wanting to risk being taken away and put with a family she absolutely couldn’t stand again, Violet had no choice but to obey. She knew it was the best thing for her in the end as living with Sam had done more good things for her than writing the program had and she didn’t want to put an end to that, but it didn’t change the fact that she felt like she had no control over her activities. She felt overpowered, and she just couldn’t let that happen. She didn’t want to let anyone else know that she submitted,

including Viva’s fellow programs.

So, that led her here. Wearing Viva’s suit and performing her duties for her in the Grid, pretending like she was never taken offline in the first place. She created Viva, gave her all the information she had by writing her in the first place. It can’t be that hard to pretend to be your own creation, right? Wrong. It was harder than she ever could have imagined living a double life like this, hurrying to the basement of the arcade the very second she got home from school every day. She honestly felt like Spiderman or some other superhero, constantly having to juggle two different identities at once. But she just couldn’t let go, nor could she admit defeat. The girl closed her eyes as she rematerialized in the Grid, giving herself just enough time to process the transition before heading out into the world to join her “fellow programs”.

i think cis girls can have a packer as a treat

Violet sighed at the thought of this lasting up to half an hour. It had occupied her mind so much she had no clue how long it had actually been, so she couldn’t even count down little bits at a time to help herself get through it. Not that she thought that would really do anything, as she kept finding her mind going back to the situation every time she tried to think of something else. The one thing she really could keep herself focused on was forming a plan to run away should she be taken away from Sam, which helped her in some ways and made things worse in others.

Initially she didn’t take Ed up on his offer, opting to keep to herself. But as thoughts continued to fill her head and time went by, she gradually moved her hand closer to his until she was finally holding it, trying not to let the anxiety make her hold too tight. After that she nodded, non-verbally confirming she was ready.

🚪(from violet, i’m gonna say she’s having a panic attack for the first time and thought she was dying)

/* 🚪 my muse shows up at yours’ door looking less than stellar */

Violet knocking on Ed's office door was... a surprise. Not that her showing up at his office was a surprise, she usually just... appeared in his office, usually without him noticing. The knocking was new.

She looked terrible. Pale, like she was about to faint.

"Violet?" he asked. "Come in, have a seat." He guided her into a his office, making sure she made it into the chair across from his desk before shutting his office door.

He didn't bother asking if she was alright, it was obvious she wasn't. What he didn't understand was why she went to him, instead of Sam, but that knowledge made him postpone calling her guardian until he had a better understanding of the situation.

"Hey, what's going on?" he asked.

In terms of mental health discussion, Violet wasn’t much different from Ed. Despite the fact that she trusted him, she still second guessed her decision to come here quite a few times while she was on her way to his office, fearing how open she’d have to be if she wanted to know what was happening to her and why. Talking about why she was so afraid almost made her feel worse for a second, but she felt a little better now knowing she was safe and wasn’t going to die of a heart attack.

“Okay.. yeah” She nodded, willing to try anything that could get her through this. She didn’t even know it was possible for someone who hasn’t been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder to be this badly affected by it, making the whole thing come as a complete and total shock to her. “How long is it gonna take? This is freaking me out.. I..I don’t like it.” She admitted, wiping some of her tears with her sleeve and then looking downwards, embarrassed to make eye contact while in this state.

🚪(from violet, i’m gonna say she’s having a panic attack for the first time and thought she was dying)

/* 🚪 my muse shows up at yours’ door looking less than stellar */

Violet knocking on Ed's office door was... a surprise. Not that her showing up at his office was a surprise, she usually just... appeared in his office, usually without him noticing. The knocking was new.

She looked terrible. Pale, like she was about to faint.

"Violet?" he asked. "Come in, have a seat." He guided her into a his office, making sure she made it into the chair across from his desk before shutting his office door.

He didn't bother asking if she was alright, it was obvious she wasn't. What he didn't understand was why she went to him, instead of Sam, but that knowledge made him postpone calling her guardian until he had a better understanding of the situation.

"Hey, what's going on?" he asked.

why is “report hate speech” not one of the default options with “report spam” instead of “report sexually explicit material”. i’m not a cop so i don’t care if people post hole & pole but i would love if i didn’t have to explain every time why it’s bad when there are nazis

Violet looked back up at him, tears still filling her brown eyes, but she seemed to be surprised in a relieved way. She didn’t expect everything she was experiencing to be immediately understood like that, and there weren’t many things more relieving than that. She still couldn’t just snap her fingers and be immediately calm after being told she wasn’t dying due to the nature of panic attacks, but at least it told her she wasn’t alone. Contrary to popular belief, Violet wasn’t nearly as big of a fan of being alone as she seemed. She simply didn’t find the trust and security she needed in enough people to have what she wanted, but she found it in Ed.

“So.. you know how to make it stop?” There was a clear attempt to steady her breathing in her voice, as she stopped to take breaths a couple times in between words. But she wasn’t sure if what she was doing was actually going to help her. She was just desperate to get rid of the feeling of her heart and lungs about to explode.

🚪(from violet, i’m gonna say she’s having a panic attack for the first time and thought she was dying)

/* 🚪 my muse shows up at yours’ door looking less than stellar */

Violet knocking on Ed's office door was... a surprise. Not that her showing up at his office was a surprise, she usually just... appeared in his office, usually without him noticing. The knocking was new.

She looked terrible. Pale, like she was about to faint.

"Violet?" he asked. "Come in, have a seat." He guided her into a his office, making sure she made it into the chair across from his desk before shutting his office door.

He didn't bother asking if she was alright, it was obvious she wasn't. What he didn't understand was why she went to him, instead of Sam, but that knowledge made him postpone calling her guardian until he had a better understanding of the situation.

"Hey, what's going on?" he asked.

“Oh, okay.” She answered, not wanting to push anything despite how much she thought it’d help him. If it worked on her, it could probably work on just about anybody considering she always needed ungodly amounts of these kinds of medications for it to do anything at all. Sometimes doctors even asked if her hair was bleached, thinking she was a redhead with how resistant her body was sometimes.

“I’m already sick of this-“ She complained, switching the position she was laying in out of pure restlessness. She absolutely dreaded going to school tomorrow and being asked what happened by everyone she met eyes with, including strangers. That thought made her groan out loud. “Is this a reason to stay home from school tomorrow? I really don’t wanna deal with everyone.”

“its honestly nothing, i can deal with it myself” (from violet, for patching up wounds prompts)

Alan had certainly heard that one before, it was the first time Sam got injured during his big 'prank' on Encom. Hearing it echoed here didn't help his panic, especially when he knew Violet lived with Sam now. He took a deep breath, trying not to overthink this.

"I don't doubt that you can." He said, pausing for a moment to respect her personal space.

"But I, ah, I've learned a thing or two about patching up a wound like this one. If you wrap it too tightly it won't heal properly." Carefully, he started tending to the injury again.

"You're still a kid," his tone became solemn, "you shouldn't have to deal with this alone. I remember Sam said the same thing.. after his father disappeared, he always believed he needed to do everything alone. I couldn't be there for him as much as I wished I could."

After that he was quiet for a while, lost in thought. He expected more pushback, and to probably have swears thrown at him, so he wasn't going to keep pushing if Violet felt uncomfortable.

She had absolutely no idea why, but Violet truly felt like she was going to die right then and there. She’d never struggled to breathe steadily more in her life, and it practically felt like she was vibrating whenever anyone touched her due to how much her body was shaking. It was a miracle she made it here without somebody else saying something. But knowing her, she probably pushed anyone who tried to ask if she was okay away. She trusted very few people with her emotions, and random passerby’s in the tower hallways were not amongst them.

“I.. um.. I think..” She finally started speaking, constantly interrupted by hiccups. A huge part of her didn’t want to say anything about what triggered this, but she knew she had to. There weren’t many believable things out there that could explain why someone so closed off like her was so obviously distressed aside from the truth. “I think I’m gonna get expelled, and I don’t want.. want them to ta..take me away.” The poor kid could barely get any words out without stuttering, and for good reason too. Another kid purposefully made something that could endanger the entire class during chemistry during school earlier in the day, and Violet just got word from a friend that the school was completely confident she taught him how to do it despite the fact that she didn’t. Of course they’d assume she was involved. She never bragged or anything, but she was almost definitely the smartest kid in that class and wasn’t exactly afraid to cause trouble at school. But she’d never take it that far. Chemistry wasn’t even really her thing. But whether she actually did it or not, if the school thought she did, they would tell her social worker. If DCFS thought this happened because Sam was negatively influencing her, nothing she said could prevent the aftermath of that. She’d be back in foster care, and she couldn’t stand the thought of it.

“I don’t really know if things like that c-can uhmm, make someone have a heart attack? But I kinda feel like I��m having one right now.” She said through tears, never having experienced something quite like this before. She was used to mood swings, going from a perfectly normal mood to an extremely negative one in a matter of minutes, but her heart racing and her body feeling like she barely had any control over it was never part of that in the past.

🚪(from violet, i’m gonna say she’s having a panic attack for the first time and thought she was dying)

/* 🚪 my muse shows up at yours’ door looking less than stellar */

Violet knocking on Ed's office door was... a surprise. Not that her showing up at his office was a surprise, she usually just... appeared in his office, usually without him noticing. The knocking was new.

She looked terrible. Pale, like she was about to faint.

"Violet?" he asked. "Come in, have a seat." He guided her into a his office, making sure she made it into the chair across from his desk before shutting his office door.

He didn't bother asking if she was alright, it was obvious she wasn't. What he didn't understand was why she went to him, instead of Sam, but that knowledge made him postpone calling her guardian until he had a better understanding of the situation.

"Hey, what's going on?" he asked.

The moment of silence confused Violet, causing her to look over at Alan with a slightly concerned look. She didn’t bring it up, but she had definitely noticed something bothered him.

“You can uh, have some of my medicine if you want?” She suggested in an attempt to nonchalantly help him without bringing too much attention towards it, recognizing what he was doing because she had the same herself earlier. She still kinda was, having winced and slowly taken her arm out of the sling after saying this. She was beginning to come back to her senses and hated how constricted she felt.

“its honestly nothing, i can deal with it myself” (from violet, for patching up wounds prompts)

Alan had certainly heard that one before, it was the first time Sam got injured during his big 'prank' on Encom. Hearing it echoed here didn't help his panic, especially when he knew Violet lived with Sam now. He took a deep breath, trying not to overthink this.

"I don't doubt that you can." He said, pausing for a moment to respect her personal space.

"But I, ah, I've learned a thing or two about patching up a wound like this one. If you wrap it too tightly it won't heal properly." Carefully, he started tending to the injury again.

"You're still a kid," his tone became solemn, "you shouldn't have to deal with this alone. I remember Sam said the same thing.. after his father disappeared, he always believed he needed to do everything alone. I couldn't be there for him as much as I wished I could."

After that he was quiet for a while, lost in thought. He expected more pushback, and to probably have swears thrown at him, so he wasn't going to keep pushing if Violet felt uncomfortable.

Extra, Extra! Read All About It!. Send 📰 + any question for the receiver's muse to answer as if they were randomly stopped and asked it on the street by a journalist or news reporter.

In case of Multimuse, don't forget to specify which one/s!

ooc // i hate having restless legs syndrome so much. i’ve been trying to fall asleep for hours but my legs hurt so bad it’s making me cry. i can’t even focus on anything that would distract me because of it. ughhhhh

Proving a point to my boyfriend.

PLEASE REBLOG if you (male or female) believe it is perfectly okay and natural for a guy of any age to cry