Only capitalism could turn unlimited free electricity into a problem.

on shame and yearning (pt.2)

when you download a pdf and it's called like 1328723486basdf12.pdf but then you gently rename it to what it's supposed to be. that's forming a bond with a hurt and wild mythological creature and reminding it who it is.

Do you think stone age people held funerals for their dogs? They buried their dead, that we know. Some were buried with their dogs, so wherever their dead would go, with their bows and arrows and bone flutes, clearly they figured that it's better for the dogs to follow to wherever the departed will go. But people outlive their dogs more often than dogs outlive their people. Did they figure that whatever is beyond, dogs go to the same place that people do?

Before stone houses, cattle, barley or rice, before people came up with the marks that the people now like to call marks of "civilisation", they had stone axes, bone spears and dogs. No other animal would willingly climb to a human's bed to sleep on their feet, or rest their chin on your knee to look you in the eyes while begging for food when they've already been fed. Did they laugh when a dog was clever enough to wriggle its way out of a tethered leash to get into venison that was being smoked for winter, or wake their people up by the tap of a wagging tail after reluctantly accepting that they aren't allowed to bark them awake?

Did they ever pause in the middle of a story at the fire at night, to turn and watch one of the dogs mutter barks and twitch paws in their sleep? Whatever they thought that dreams were, they knew dogs have them too. Did they wonder what dogs dream of? Visions of past and future hunts? If they thought that dreams were another realm, where your soul will sometimes visit while leaving your body behind, where does the soul of a dog go?

Did they wonder where the souls of dogs go?

Happy new year!!

Reading all the comments made my heart warm 🥺

breakdown cancelled, guy in [shop redacted] gave me a discount on my plants ‘just cause’ and then didn’t scan half my other shit either. i was like ‘oh you missed–’ and he goes ‘discount innit’. i think maybe he just hated his job but also possibly humans are good and long story short i’m not mentally ill any more.

“Each time a woman stands up for herself, without knowing it possibly, without claiming it, she stands up for all women.” - MAYA ANGELOU

Part 1: one smooooooth customer. Part 2: THIS FUCKER.

I lost my best friend 3 years ago- not lost as in dead but lost as in we only text each other on our birthdays now. Movies and books don't tell you that a friendship dying is like the sinking of a ship, you try to get higher and higher and hold onto the rails and unanswered texts, the captain tries to steer it to safety and salvage pieces of two broken hearts until you're left with memories of what once was. We were friends for a decade and knew each other's diaries by heart, I still remember her phone number and the way she took her coffee. Seeing her in streets is like breathing in a scent you forgot you knew but it immediately takes you back to a summer in '07.

Movies and books also don't tell you that friendships don't just end after one fight or incident, it's like the rusting of a bridge, the slow decay of flesh and bones and secrets. It took weeks, months- until one day I woke up and I realized I hadn't thought of her in a while. And I wrote a poem that day and I titled it 'The dying of a best friend' and I put all my love for her in a tiny box with my half of the matching pendant of a dolphin we had and stored them in a corner of my heart under the heading Grief. Where else can one hide unspent love?

It's been 3 years since I lost my best friend, lost as in I still carry our secrets in a tiny box but we only text each other on our birthdays.

-Ritika Jyala, excerpt from The world is a sphere of ice and our hands are made of fire

01/10/2021

I got my second dose of Pfizer and am finally fully vaccinated!! I didn’t really feel as much pain as I did for the first round of vaccination. There was not much of any soreness or numbness.

Anyways, i slept for about an hour after i got vaccinated. Then after lunch, i studied for 5 hours. Again, I used my ipad to go to youtube to put on those “Study with me” sessions.

So far, i think i’ve been quite productive today but my progress was very slow. Also, i’ve realised something, keeping your desk and study area clean and tidy really ups your productivity.

vhy xx

30.09.2021

Tomorrow’s the first of October!!! Huge exam season for me right now. Studied for 7 hours today and I just tidied up my desk area.

vhy :)

29.09.2021

Study with me sessions are quite calming and motivating. I also listen to those background sounds that was just updated in IOS 15. The focus sessions in IOS 15 are also serious lifesavers. My productivity has gone up so much, it’s unreal.

vhy xx

24/09/2021

Been quite inactive lately because there are huge examinations coming up. Wish me luck x.

vhy :)

malcolm x was not lyin when he said the most disrespected person in america is the black woman.

gosh but like we spent hundreds of years looking up at the stars and wondering “is there anybody out there” and hoping and guessing and imagining

because we as a species were so lonely and we wanted friends so bad, we wanted to meet other species and we wanted to talk to them and we wanted to learn from them and to stop being the only people in the universe

and we started realizing that things were maybe not going so good for us– we got scared that we were going to blow each other up, we got scared that we were going to break our planet permanently, we got scared that in a hundred years we were all going to be dead and gone and even if there were other people out there, we’d never get to meet them

and then

we built robots?

and we gave them names and we gave them brains made out of silicon and we pretended they were people and we told them hey you wanna go exploring, and of course they did, because we had made them in our own image

and maybe in a hundred years we won’t be around any more, maybe yeah the planet will be a mess and we’ll all be dead, and if other people come from the stars we won’t be around to meet them and say hi! how are you! we’re people, too! you’re not alone any more!, maybe we’ll be gone

but we built robots, who have beat-up hulls and metal brains, and who have names; and if the other people come and say, who were these people? what were they like?

the robots can say, when they made us, they called us discovery; they called us curiosity; they called us explorer; they called us spirit. they must have thought that was important.

and they told us to tell you hello.