sirnotappearinginthistumbl
Musings from the Missing
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Eat what you need
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Capitalist colonialism in the grocery aisles.
Feh.
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Dear Trader Joe’s: You’re Fired
You know, I was really fond of your Trader Joe’s stores when I first shopped there. Lots of great stuff! Usually reasonable prices! Cool shirts! Generally happy workers!
But now the shine is off the rose. Some of your stuff is still great, sure, but most of it I can find elsewhere. Many of your prices are above what I’d pay elsewhere. The shirts are still decent, but nothing like the sea of Hawaiian-themed prints of the aughts.
That’s not enough to make me stop shopping at your stores.
Your employees are not so happy any more and are trying to unionize. They’ve encouraged shoppers like me to keep coming to your stores because they are invested in keeping the business going. That could keep me coming to the store.
In response, you have tried telling your employees that you’re still a great place to work. Their reply? “Nah, if you were we wouldn’t need to unionize.”
That’s not enough to make me stop working at your stores either, because your workers asked. Support the workers!
But now, in your attempts to stop your labor force from unionizing, you’re trying to undermine the National Labor Relations Act and the National Labor Relations Board in court, trying to get them declared unconstitutional.
Unions help raise all workers wages. The more unions and union employees are out there, the more the wages go up for both union and non-union employees.
You are actively trying to undermine the wages of not just your employees, but also many of your customers, myself included — just so you can sock another seven to eight figures in your bank account every year.
So, in short: it’s not me, it’s you. You’re trying to hurt me, my family and my community. That is more than enough to make me stop shopping at your stores, and plenty enough to make me want you to leave my community.
You’re fired, Trader Joe’s. Good luck finding another sucker to shop in your stores.
Oh, and Amazon and Muskrat? I haven’t forgotten you. Your walking papers are in process.
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Expecting Apple this Monday
Welcome to the new iClipse!
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“We take your problem seriously, but if we can make you laugh while we solve it you’ll make our day.”
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Dealing With Executive Dysfunction - A Masterpost
The “getting it done in an unconventional way” method.
The “it’s not cheating to do it the easy way” method.
The “fuck what you’re supposed to do” method.
The “get stuff done while you wait” method.
The “you don’t have to do everything at once” method.
The “it doesn’t have to be permanent to be helpful” method.
The “break the task into smaller steps” method.
The “treat yourself like a pet” method.
The “it doesn’t have to be all or nothing” method.
The “put on a persona” method.
The “act like you’re filming a tutorial” method.
The “you don’t have to do it perfectly” method.
The “wait for a trigger” method.
The “do it for your future self” method.
The “might as well” method.
The “when self discipline doesn’t cut it” method.
The “taking care of yourself to take care of your pet” method.
The “make it easy” method.
The “junebugging” method.
The “just show up” method.
The “accept when you need help” method.
The “make it into a game” method.
The “everything worth doing is worth doing poorly” method.
The “trick yourself” method.
The “break it into even smaller steps” method.
The “let go of should” method.
The “your body is an animal you have to take care of” method.
The “fork theory” method.
The “effectivity over aesthetics” method.
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Caramelized onions
No, you are not going to have caramelized onions in 10-12 minutes.
Yes, a little salt and sugar can speed the process a bit, but they also change the flavor and are contraindicated for people with certain health conditions. There are no true shortcuts.
No, you shouldn’t caramelize mild onions unless you want your caramelized onions less flavorful. No Vidalias, no Mauis, no sweet red onions. In the US, get the strongest, most eye-watering yellow onions you can find.
It will take hours when you do it at home.
Cut your onions up, at least a pound
I only dice mine for sour cream and onion dip, but you do you
put a 10+” oiled large skillet on a burner on medium heat
which you make sure has reached at least 350ºF/185ºC
don’t let it go over 450ºF/240ºC, please
put the onions in the hot pan — I fill mine up to the lip
cover the pan so the steam is trapped
drop the burner to medium low.
Only uncover until all the onions have been sweating.
Stir and scrape from time to time. Don’t leave the house.
Your energy bill will not thank you. Your taste buds will.
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Transcript:
Is interracial marriage and mixed-race kids the solution to ending racism?
No. Race and racism is a human social construct. “Interracial marriage” is the marriage of a human to another human. “Mixed-race kids” are human kids.
Racism will not end until humanity as a whole decides we will treat each person as a a fully human individual with the inherent dignity and legitimacy all persons should have, each with our own individual lived experiences, circumstances, merits, quirks and flaws.
This does not mean forgetting that the person in front of you may have suffered from racism and bigotry on both an institutional and an individual level. It means that you respect that person and that set of issues when they bring it up or circumstances rub it in everybody’s faces. I, for one, avoid bringing up race unless it is a professional requirement of my job for data collection purposes (spoiler alert: it is), and I generally do not linger on the topic unless the other person wants to linger.
“Interracial marriage” as we know it, if entered into willingly, can be a step on the long road to ending racism, but it is no more than a step. Treating others individually, mindfully and with kindness in our hearts and actions will at least be close.
Source
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Never Said Aloud
Thank you for telling customer service you are voting for the people who want to remove the program you’ve relied on to improve your personal circumstances. We prefer knowing who the dim ones are.
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“Technical support, we read the manual for you, how may I help you?”
“My browser seems to have stopped working.”
“How many tabs do you have open?”
“Ummm… 500?”
“You need to close some before you can open any more. I suggest at least 100. Try closing a few.”
“That worked! Thank you!”
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“Technical support, we read the manual for you, how may I help you?”
“Excuse me, but I need to make a spaghetti sauce in under ten minutes.”
“Do you have a high-power blender and a microwave?”
“Yes.”
“OK. Get a 28 ounce can of whole peeled tomatoes and gentle blend them to chopped status. Get a couple cloves of garlic, chop or crush ‘em, then put them in a small bowl with some extra virgin olive oil and cook for 30-60 seconds. Put the tomatoes and garlic in a pot with some torn basil, salt and pepper to taste, and bring up to heat. You can do that all while your pasta is boiling.”
“Thank you! Supper is saved!”
_____
“Technical support, we read the manual for you, how may I help you?”
“Yes, I want to run for president.”
“Of what?”
“The United States.”
“Sorry, you’re fucked. Next?”
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“Thank you for holding. We are currently training your customer service representative, who will be with you as soon as possible.”
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That feeling when…
you look at the live transit schedule for the single bus line that runs near your home, and see you can only catch the one 20 minutes before you leave, or one of the two buses arriving 20 minutes after you should have already been on your way.
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“Hello, I have this really urgent request. I need […]”
“Thank you for emailing. I am currently out of the office and will not return until Thursday of next week. Please email my manager at [[email protected]] with any urgent requests.”
“Hi, me again, it’s just that this is really urgent and I need it within the next two days…”
“Thank you for emailing. I am currently out of the office and will not return until Thursday of next week. Please email my manager at [[email protected]] with any urgent requests.”
“C’mon, puh-LEEZE! I gotta do this Thing!”
“Thank you for emailing. I am currently out of the office and will not return until Thursday of next week. Please email my manager at [[email protected]] with any urgent requests.”
“Don’t make me come down there, I have brownies!”
“Thank you for emailing. While I like brownies, I am currently out of the office and will not return until Thursday of next week. Please email my manager at [[email protected]] with any urgent requests.”
“I Need This Thing!”
“Thank you for emailing. I am currently out of the office and will not return until Thursday of next week. Please email my manager at [[email protected]] with any urgent requests, or the AI that is monitoring this account will need to examine your banking records for any irregularities.”
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