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sicktemberfeed · 8 months

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blue moon || atsushi & kyoka sickfic

ao3! 11.2k - please refer to the tags in the link for content + warnings! sicktember 2023, day 8: persistent fever

Kyoka pouts when she reads the thermometer. One hundred point seven.

"You really think it's that bad?" Atsushi asks. Kyoka believes he's genuinely asking, the way his brow is furrowed. He's been sluggish all morning as they've been getting ready to head to the agency, prompting her to check his temperature, just tp be safe. And she’s glad she did.

"Mr. Kunikida said we're not supposed to come to work when we're sick," Kyoka reminds him gently. They've both been repeat offenders of this and received their fair share of scolding from Kunikida, but she's been trying to hold Atsushi accountable.

"I know, but…what am I supposed to do here?" Atsushi says, dropping his shoulders. He's sitting on top of the toilet lid with his legs crossed, only halfway dressed - his white button-up over the sweatpants he slept in.

"Rest," she suggests.

"I could at least help with some reports," he suggests with a disappointed pout. "I really feel fine. Just tired, I promise."

Kyoka pouts back at him She’s not sure she can let him get away with it. "You'll get in trouble with Kunikida again."

"I guess," Atsushi sighs, clearly dejected. Atsushi doesn't seem to understand the concept of resting to feel better. The whole point of staying at home is that he wouldn't be working.

"How about you read one of the new books you got?" Kyoka suggests, tilting her head. They went shopping last weekend and Atsushi picked up two books he's always wanted to read. He seemed excited about them then, so she hopes that maybe that will derail his thought process here.

"Oh, yeah…the ones I got downtown. I forgot about those," he says. He looks a little brighter, now. "I think they're still on the table."

"I'll get them for you," Kyoka says with a nod, dashing out of the room before Atsushi can object. They're still on the table as Atsushi said, in a tote bag he used while they were out, and Kyoka gently slides them out of the bag. Hellscreen and Anne of Green Gables are their titles. Kyoka hasn't read very many books, so she's not familiar with these, but she hopes they'll distract Atsushi for a little while. At least long enough for him to get tired enough to actually sleep off his fever.

Atsushi has followed her into the kitchen, looking a little unsteady when she turns around to face him. He's probably lightheaded. She'll get him some water before she leaves.

"You should change your shirt," Kyoka says.

Atsushi pouts and then pauses for a second, like he hopes that she’ll reconsider. "You're really gonna make me stay here?"

She nods. Atsushi still seems to be under the impression that she's easily persuaded, but little does he know, she's far more stubborn than he is. Especially if his health is in the picture.

She sets the books back down on the counter and takes a glass from the cabinet. She hears Atsushi make the saddest sigh possible before he turns around and heads back to their room. She does feel guilty, but she can't let him get what he wants just because she feels bad for him. She would much rather disappoint him than have him come to work while he’s already not feeling well, and only make it worse.

She heads back to the room and finds Atsushi tucked back into the corner of the closet, where his bed is, and Kyoka kneels down to hand him the books and sets the glass of water down beside him.

"You can text me if you need something," Kyoka assures him. She's tempted to offer her bed to him, so he's not in that closet, but she has a feeling that he won't take her up on it. He never does, whether he’s hurt or sick.

"Thanks, Kyoka," Atsushi says. He still sounds pretty dejected, but Kyoka knows she can't acknowledge it.

She tells him goodbye, and then, she's off to work.

…

It's been four or five hours since Kyoka left their dorm. Of course, everyone was deeply concerned about the lack of Atsushi’s presence when she walked through the door. Even Dazai showed a hint of it, but she assured everyone he just had a low-grade fever, and likely just needed to sleep it off.

It's been surprisingly busy this morning. She hasn't had too much time to text him, but he's responded to things she's said in a timely manner, so she's not too worried. She asked him to tell her his temperature, and he said it was the same as before.

It's almost time for their lunch break, now, and Kyoka closes her laptop and gets up from her desk to gingerly approach Kunikida, who is still very focused on his work. She feels bad bothering him most of the time, but she’s not sure she’s comfortable leaving without saying anything. She did that once, and heard Kunikida nearly had a heart attack.

"Mr. Kunikida?" she starts meekly.

"Yes, Kyoka?" he asks, closing his laptop and turning to face her. He's always been very nice to her. Nicer than he is to Atsushi, anyway.

"Is it okay if I go check on Atsushi during my break?" she asks meekly. Their dorm isn’t far at all, she can definitely make it back on time. "I won't be long.”

"Of course. No need to rush, we’re caught up now," Kunikida nods. "He's not answering his phone?"

"N-no, he is, I just…I just want to make sure he's being honest," Kyoka says. She doesn’t think he would lie to her out of malice, not ever, but he might if it would lessen her concern. She just wants to make sure he’s doing okay like he says he is, that’s all.

"Fair point," he says, closing his report book, evidently getting ready to start his lunch break as well. He suddenly shouts Yosano's name, which catches Kyoka off guard, but doesn't scare her nearly as much as it used to.

Yosano shouts something back that can be heard through the hallway, a string of curses that Kyoka can't quite decipher, but Kunikida translates for her. "Go to her. She can get some medicine together for him, I'm sure."

Kyoka bows her head, thanking him, before she walks over towards the infirmary. The doors connecting the two spaces are open, but Yosano is further away than she expected - tucked away in her office in the corner, shuffling through an organized stack of papers littering her desk.

Yosano shoots a glare at Kyoka as soon as she stops in the doorway of her office, but it seems to soften the moment she realizes it's not Kunikida.

"Kyoka, hi. What do you need?" she asks very gently, smiling with her greeting. Kyoka really likes her. She reminds her a lot of Miss Ozaki, but she can't decide which of the two of them is scarier.

"Atsushi had a fever this morning," Kyoka explains. Yosano wasn’t there when she told everyone else. "So I told him not to come in."

"I see. How high?" Yosano asks, folding her hands over her lap as she swivels her stool to face Kyoka.

"A hundred point seven," she recalls.

"Alright, so not too bad. Does he seem okay otherwise? No vomiting or anything?" Yosano asks her.

Kyoka shakes her head. Not as far as she knows, anyway. She entertains the possibility that he threw up last night - that’s happened before, but she knew once the morning came because he was a nervous wreck. He seemed fine, mentally. "He just seems tired, that's all."

"That's good, hopefully it's something he can just sleep off," she says, and Kyoka is relieved to hear that her hope is echoed by the doctor. "Do you want to see if he'll come here to rest?"

"The antiseptic smell makes him sick," Kyoka reminds her. She'd already thought about that. She would really like for him to be around so they can all keep an eye on him, especially here where he can’t sneak into the office to work, but it's not worth making him feel worse.

Yosano clicks her tongue. "That's right…oh, poor thing. I'll send a prescription for some good fever reducers over to the pharmacy by the dorm and they'll have time ready by the time you get over there."

"Thank you, miss Yosano," Kyoka says with a polite bow of her head.

"Of course, Kyoka. Just make sure he's drinking plenty of water and resting well," she says as she stands up from her stool. "I'll make sure to send in something that's good for pain too. He tends to get achy when he has a fever."

Kyoka nods again. She’s noticed that too, she’s glad Yosano remembered.

Kyoka is quick to the pharmacy, apparently too quick - the prescription isn’t ready, but she hears whisperings of Yosano’s name float about the pharmacists, and they reappear at the counter very quickly, looking rather nervous. Kyoka just politely takes the medication for her friend and heads back to the dorms.

She manages to sneak in without alerting him until she gets to the bedroom.

"Kyoka!" Atsushi exclaims when she walks in, maybe a bit too excited, considering it's only been a few hours. He stands up from where he was huddled in the corner, evidently reading a book, and Kyoka stretches out her arm with the paper bag. He’s still unsteady, but trying to hide it.

"I have medicine for you. From Miss Yosano," Kyoka says. The glass of water is still next to his bed, but it doesn’t look like he’s had any. She needs to make sure he’s staying hydrated, like Yosano said.

"Oh," he says, gingerly taking the bag. He doesn't look thrilled about it. "You told her?"

Kyoka nods. "It'll help you feel better faster."

Atsushi nods. "Guess that's true…"

“Do you want udon for lunch?” she asks him as she wanders back into the kitchen.

“Wait, let me make it. I can still do that, at least,” Atsushi says, trailing behind her soon enough. Kyoka is tempted to shoot him down, but she knows he’ll likely get upset if she does that. Making udon isn’t too strenuous. It’s not a long-term commitment. She nods, and he looks relieved.

She takes the thermometer from the counter and reaches up to lay it under his tongue while he fills the pot with water. It beeps, and once she brings it down to her level, it reads one hundred point nine. It’s hard to ignore the way her heart drops a little.

“Is it still the same?” he asks.

“No, a little higher,” she says, showing him the tiny digital screen.

“I really feel fine,” Atsushi assures her. He is convincing, at least. He’s still a little sluggish, but he doesn’t seem out of it or in pain or anything. At least not right now. That’s reassuring, at least.

Maybe he just needs the day to recover.

…

She’s back at work a few hours later.

“Kyoka,” Tanizaki starts, approaching her from behind as she scans the shelf for a file Kunikida requested. “You’ve been on the Ferris wheel here in Yokohama, haven’t you?”

Kyoka turns around, briefly forgetting her previous mission. “On the port? I went once with Atsushi.”

“Did you like it? You’re not scared of heights, right?” Tanizaki asks her.

Kyoka shakes her head. She thinks there’s much scarier things in the world to be afraid of than heights. “I liked it. It’s a pretty view.”

“Naomi and I were going to go tonight to see if we could get a good photo of the blue moon over the city, but she and Haruno accompanied the President and Ranpo to something important. I don’t know they’ll be back in time before the Ferris wheel closes…” Tanizaki says with a little sigh. “Would you and Atsushi want to come with me? I’ll pay for your tickets.”

Kyoka’s eyes brighten at that idea. That sounds fun, and the crepe stands she loves is right nearby there, too. She’s never seen a blue moon before, she doesn’t think. At least not in pictures. She wants to agree, but she’s not sure about Atsushi. She doesn’t want to let Tanizaki down by agreeing in case Atsushi is too tired to do something like that.

“I’m not sure…Atsushi still has a fever,” Kyoka says with a little frown.

“Oh, that’s right, you said that! I’m sorry,” Tanizaki says apologetically. “That’s totally fine. You can text me if it ends up working out, but no pressure.”

“I can go with you if you want some extra company either way, Tanizaki,” Kenji offers kindly, filing something away behind Kyoka. “I’m staying in Yokohama tonight instead of going back home.”

“That’d be great!” Tanizaki nods.

“Is there really a blue moon tonight? I always thought those were fake,” Dazai comments from his desk.

“They’re more common than you think,” Kunikida says. Upon hearing his voice, Kyoka remembers her quest for the file, but Kenji has already found it, and hands it to her with a sweet smile. She scurries over to Kunikida’s desk to hand it to him.

Dazai nods. There’s a look on his face that she can’t quite place, but she’s whisked into another task by Kunikida before she can ponder what he’s thinking.

…

Kyoka makes it back to the dorm five hours after she left from their lunch break, and the sun has started to set. The evenings have been getting cooler recently, and they’re losing the light from the sun each evening, slowly but surely.

Once again she manages to sneak into their dorm room without alerting Atsushi, but this time, he stays tucked away in that corner, completely dry of any energy.

"Hi," Atsushi murmurs,

He doesn't look well. He doesn’t make any effort to stand up. His arms are wrapped around his knees and pulled close to himself. He’s pale. Not concerningly so, but worse than before. The water glass is still full

"The medicine didn't work?" Kyoka asks, carefully approaching him. She kneels down. "You don't look like you feel better."

"I'm okay," is all he says. "Did you guys make any progress with the, um…uh…"

Kyoka assumes he means to ask about the case they were working on yesterday, but his eyes screw shut and he groans quietly like something hurts. She wants to reach out and comfort him, but she needs to see if his fever’s gotten worse. It must have.

"I'll take your temperature again," she says, personally thinking that's a more urgent matter than discussing anything work-related. She runs off into the kitchen to find it - it's still where she left it earlier.

He’s not as cooperative this time, but he lets her do it anyway.

One hundred and one point four. It's gone up. Not by much, but clearly it’s enough to have done some damage. She was planning on asking him if he’s feeling up to going to the Ferris wheel tonight with Tanizaki and Kenji, but she doesn’t even want to plant the seed with how he’s looking right now.

"Do you feel worse?" Kyoka asks him as she takes the thermometer back.

"It's not that bad," he says, completely avoiding her question. She’s almost wondering if he misheard her question. "Kyoka, I…I had this awful nightmare, and…I don't wanna go back to sleep."

"About what?" Kyoka asks him.

Atsushi just shakes his head. She should have known better than to ask that. He very rarely wants to discuss his nightmares.

"If anyone ever tried to take you back there, they would meet my blade," Kyoka reminds him. She knows it's about the orphanage. He has those nightmares all the time, and whether he admits to their contents or not, she knows how much they hurt him.

There's tears in his eyes, his head still turned away from her. Kyoka wants to hug him, but she’s never sure when she’s crossing a boundary. She’s worried.

"Can we go get tea or something?" Atsushi asks quietly, his head lowered. "I wanna clear my head."

"That tea place has a new one that can help you sleep," she says, remembering that addition to their menu from the last time they were there. She’s not sure Atsushi should be up and walking around, but she has to be careful of helping his mind, too. “I’ll get a jacket for you. It’s getting cold outside.”

She does just that as he stands up, almost swaying for a moment before she hands him the hoodie. She picks up the glass from the floor and hands it to him.

“Please drink some before we leave,” she asks him. He reaches out to take the glass, and her shoulders sink when she realizes his hand is shaking, just slightly. But he takes a few sips of the water, at least.

They make their way over to the tea shop they like, only a few blocks down from the dormitory. Kyoka tells him about her work day at Atsushi’s request. It’s all very mundane things, but she thinks he wants to get his nightmare off his mind.

Atsushi walks inside the cafe ahead of her, and Kyoka almost follows, but among the people at the busy street corner, she sees someone familiar out of the corner of her eye. It’s almost like she feels his stare before she sees him.

That's Akutagawa.

He's not wearing his normal coat. It's still long and black and covers most of his body.

Kyoka can't deny that she's afraid of him, even after their last conversation. It's instilled into her. Her hand is tight around her concealed blade, just in case she needs to use it.

Apparently, he only just now looks at her.

They make direct eye contact, but his expression doesn't change. The Akutagawa she knew during her time in the Port Mafia would have killed her on sight in this same scenario. She's a traitor to the mafia. She was his dog and she ran away. Sometimes she wonders if she even has a bounty on her head.

So why isn't he attacking her? Atsushi is still inside, it's not likely that he sees him. Either way, she needs to keep the two of them separated, especially while Atsushi isn't feeling well.

Kyoka slowly drops her arm, and lets go of the blade. She wants to make sure he sees her hands are empty.

Akutagawa watches her do it.

I won't attack. But don't come near me.

He seems to understand that sentiment.

Kyoka scurries inside, not wanting to waste any more time at risk of worrying Atsushi, even knowing Akutagawa is still out there. She knows he has no problem killing people in busy areas. He’s done it before. He’s forced her to do the same. She worries for the innocent people in this cafe. She’s scared.

"Are you okay, Kyoka?" Atsushi asks, taking her arm, clearly understanding something isn’t right.

She nods. She doesn't want to put Atsushi on edge, so she tries to think of something, but the barista waves them over and asks for their order. Kyoka promises him it’s nothing, and he seems to let it go long enough to give his order.

Once they get their drinks, Kyoka asks if they can stay inside. She likes the ambiance of this cafe, but really, she doesn’t want Atsushi to see Akutagawa if he’s still prowling outside.

She flinches when the door opens. She almost huffs to herself for being so on edge. Akutagawa wouldn’t follow her inside, but she knows that he likes tea. It’s one of the very few things he does like.

The girl who walks in is Gin. She makes very brief eye contact with Kyoka, but long enough to flash a gentle smile before she heads for the counter. Atsushi doesn’t seem to catch wind of any of it.

Kyoka feels the tension melt from her shoulders. Gin is very kind. She really doesn’t understand how someone as kind as her can stand to be around Akutagawa, but he thinks that she balances him out.

“How’s the tea?” Kyoka asks Atsushi, trying to fill the silence between them before he starts getting suspicious.

“It’s good. I should have asked for more sugar, though,” Atsushi says meekly. Kyoka knows he likes lots of sugar in his tea, she stands up intending to ask for more cubes, and accidentally ends up standing next to Gin as she orders - two Hojicha with four cubes of sugar each.

She blinks, having to repeat that request to the barista who approaches her from the other side of the counter. She sees Gin smile at her again. Maybe she thinks it’s amusing too.

Gin leaves as soon as she has the drinks she’s ordered, and Kyoka feels a little more at ease.

Until she realizes Atsushi is starting to feel worse, anyway.

It’s little things. He’s starting to get more quiet, less responsive. As they leave the tea shop, his body aches seem to make it a little difficult to get up, but he doesn’t ask for help. Of course he doesn’t.

“Tanizaki said there’s supposed to be a blue moon tonight,” Kyoka tells him as they walk back to the dormitory, but Atsushi’s eyes have gotten glassy and she’s not sure he’s paying much attention to what she says. She carries their unfinished drinks. “Maybe we can go to the roof and see if the clouds will part.”

She only suggests that because she thinks Atsushi is going to have trouble sleeping after his nightmare, but all he does is nod. He would never reject an idea she has, sometimes to a fault, she thinks, but she has a feeling he’s not actually up for something like that right now. She feels guilty. She’s not sure what she can do for him.

When they get back to their dorm room, Atsushi trudges back to the bedroom without Kyoka. He’s gotten so strangely quiet. She knows it’s because he’s not feeling well, but even still, it’s a stark difference from how he was acting earlier.

She puts their teas in the fridge and pours a fresh glass of water for Atsushi. She punches a tablet out of the blister back of medication for him. It hasn’t quiet been twelve hours, but she’s concerned with how he’s acting. It’s the least she can do to help him.

She peers into the bedroom, and Atsushi is curled up on top of the sheets of her bed, still fully clothed, looking like he didn't have any energy to actually get ready to go to sleep. He's shivering like a leaf.

She’s frozen, for a second, remembering something from before she ever met Atsushi.

Kyoka has been in a similar situation before, once with Akutagawa. Maybe that's why she feels like she isn't doing enough.

Akutagawa never let her get close to him when he was sick. He would fight off any attempt from anyone to help him. Kyoka’s remembering his shivering form, curled up on the floor of his kitchen, with a fever so high he couldn't move. Kyoka was afraid to even think about helping him. She’d lose her head. The only reason she found him was because she hadn’t heard from him - he had done nothing to alert her he was so unwell.

So she left. She told someone, when she got back to headquarters. Chuuya, Hirotsu, she can’t quite remember. All she knows is that he was back at work the next week.

Does she have any business caring for Atsushi? Should she just call someone else? Can she even really help him?

No. She knows that Atsushi trusts her.

She sets the glass down and scurries back to the kitchen to put the pill back with the rest before she kneels down beside Atsushi, who’s still shaking, looking awfully cold. His face is obscured from her vision.

"Let's take your jacket off," Kyoka says quietly, her hand gently grazing over his shoulder.

"I can't," he murmurs. Kyoka’s stomach drops. It sounds almost like he’s crying, or he’s very close. "Kyoka, it…it hurts too much. I don't wanna move, please."

"What hurts?" she asks. Her heart hurts, hearing the way that he's talking. Atsushi isn’t ever like this. Something’s clearly wrong for him to be acting this way. She sits back on her heels, not wanting to make things worse by crowding him.

"Everything," he mumbles, curling tighter in on himself. "My joints, a-and muscles, it all…"

"Maybe you should take another dose of the medicine," she says a little nervously. She's hoping that maybe it’s just already worn off from the last time he took it. “Do you feel cold? Or hot?”

“Cold,” he manages with a sad sniffle. She was thinking maybe some sort of heated pad or blanket might help with his pain, but she thinks that might just make his fever worse. She should probably check where it’s at now, too.

She wanders back into the kitchen to take the pill back, and when she returns, Atsushi hasn’t moved. She lays a hand on his shoulder. He lets out a tiny pained groan, but he must know she only wants to help him. He forces himself onto his elbows, eyes screwed shut tight.

“I’m sorry, Atsushi,” she says quietly, feeling guilty.

“It’s okay, I…I’m fine, really,” he says, despite everything. She can see the stress and pain around his eyes. He takes the pill that she hands to him only with a single sip of water before he curls back on his side, his eyes starting to unfocus as his arms wrap around his middle.

She lays a hand over his forehead, and he certainly feels warmer.

"Have you eaten anything today?" she asks him. Aside from the udon, of course, but he didn’t have much of that at all.

"Some rice," he murmurs. Some can mean a lot of things.

Kyoka frowns. "That's all?"

"I don't really have an appetite," he says quietly, his eyes starting to fall shut. “My…my stomach’s been hurting since I had the udon.”

Udon and rice are better than nothing, but she didn’t know he had a stomachache, too. Maybe that’s something that would have been helpful for Yosano to know. She wishes she didn’t have to fish this information out of him, but she understands why he keeps it to himself. He never had to share it with anyone before.

“We should take off your jacket, Atsushi,” she says quietly. She doesn’t want to force him to move, but he really shouldn’t be in a jacket like that with the fever he has. She knows he said he feels cold, but the warmth radiating from his forehead and the sweat forming along his hairline tells her that his body’s just tricking him.

He groans quietly, ducking his head away from Kyoka. He’s never like this. She realizes he must be in a lot of pain.

“I can get you a warmer blanket. That way it’s easy to take off if you get hot,” she suggests gingerly. She has a feeling that pain isn’t going to get any better any time soon. It’s better if they get it off now rather than later.

It takes a few seconds, but he silently agrees, forcing himself to sit up once more. Kyoka should have gotten him a jacket that opens down the middle instead of a hoodie, but she didn’t have any idea he was in enough pain for this to hurt him. Yosano even said he tends to get muscle pain when he has a fever. She should have taken that into consideration earlier.

Atsushi holds his breath the whole time she helps him lift his arms to take the hoodie off - his eyes are screwed shut too, and she sees him biting his lip to hard that it bleeds, like he’s trying to redirect the pain elsewhere. She’s seen him do that before. It hurts her, knowing where that habit must have come from.

She wants to talk to him about it one day. But now’s not the time.

Atsushi curls back into the bed after they get his jacket and shoes off, and Kyoka finds the warm comforter he keeps on the high shelf to gently lay it over him. He’s still shivering, his teeth are almost chattering, but she hopes some time under that blanket will help him feel a little better.

She takes a few things from the kitchen and brings them into the bedroom - the tea he didn’t finish, a thermometer, and the medicine. She takes a bit longer than normal. There’s a stuffed rabbit plushie that Junichiro gave her a few months ago - it’s one that can be warmed up, and she figures something like that could give him some comfort, and it won’t be too hot to make his fever worse.

“I don’t wanna take this from you,” Atsushi murmurs feverishly as she tucks the stuffed rabbit into his arms, a guilty expression washing over his face.

“You’re not taking it,” Kyoka assures him. “You need it right now.”

Atsushi doesn’t fight back. It looks like he doesn’t have the energy to.

She keeps the blinds open for a while, leaned against the wall and watching the clouds part and come together over and over to reveal the blue moon, only to hide it again. It is really pretty. Her mother used to love the moon.

Demon Snow appears without warning, but she doesn’t startle her anymore. She sits beside Kyoka with her hands folded in her lap, watching through the window like her mother used to. Atsushi’s back faces the window, but he’s started to fall asleep, anyway. Kyoka hopes he can rest for a while, without any awful dreams.

She finds herself thinking about Akutagawa again, only this time, she's remembering Gin.

The first time she witnessed Akutagawa get so sick he needed to be hospitalized was when she learned Gin's secret.

It was only a few weeks after she'd been recruited into the mafia. She waited outside the hall of his hospital room, not brave enough to go inside. He was unconscious, and he had been for days. They said it was pneumonia. She was sure he wouldn’t want her there even if she had the guts to enter, but she had nowhere else to go. Gin appeared not long after, awkwardly lingering around outside the room.

At that point, Kyoka had always assumed she was a man, and didn't know she had any connection to Akutagawa, so it was strange to see her act that way. Eventually, she sat against the wall with her knees against her chest and stared at the floor. Kyoka assumed that maybe she was waiting for the rest of the Black Lizard, but they never came.

"Are you here to get information, sir?" Kyoka asked quietly, her voice trembling. She didn't know what else to say to her. All she knew about Gin was that she was a cold-hearted and ruthless assassin. She was afraid she would be attacked if she said anything out of line.

But when she looked up, and Kyoka could see the tears flooding her eyes.

"Did they tell you if he'll be okay?"

Kyoka never thought she would hear Gin speak.

She doesn’t remember much else of that day, but somehow, she understood right away that they were family. Akutagawa didn’t have anyone looking out for him as far as she was aware - Higuchi might have been the only one, but that was her job.

That was the only time she ever saw Gin slip. Every time after that, it was as if they had never exchanged a single word with each other. Even when either of them was visibly injured or ill, the other didn’t bat an eye, as long as it wasn’t truly serious. Kyoka doesn’t know their reasons for it, but she assumes they must have one.

She watches Atsushi’s chest rise and fall for a while.

…

Kyoka couldn't sleep a wink. She's not a stranger to that, and normally, it doesn’t effect her - but she’s spent so much of the night worrying about Atsushi. Watching his face contort from nightmares that she couldn’t wake him from, knowing it would only make them worse - watching him turn over in his sleep and whimper from the pain. It was an incredibly restless sleep.

She took his temperature around three in the morning and caught it at a hundred and two point four. It’s worse, and obviously he feels worse too.

When the sun starts to rise, he’s lying on his back. He never makes any attempts to prop himself up, or even move in general, not even when Kyoka gets up to open the window and let some fresh air in. Kyoka isn't sure he's even really awake until she can tell his eyes really are open.

"You can take more medicine now," she says, kneeling beside him. Atsushi looks at her, thankfully, but his expression almost tells her that he’s not willing to get up.

So, she helps him. She lays a hand under his hand and encourages him to at least lean forward enough to take the medicine with a sip of water, and he’s able to to at least that before he sinks back into bed.

She realized a while ago that he stopped shivering sometime in the night and that he pushed off the blanket, so Kyoka laid the thinner one over him instead, but he still lays with the rabbit tucke din the crook of his elbow. She lays a hand on his forehead and still finds that heat, now clammy and accompanied by sweat in his hairline. His hair is dull and that usual shine is gone. She didn't even think that was possible, for him to be that sick.

"Is the pain any better?" she asks him.

Atsushi nods, but Kyoka knows he isn't telling the truth. It breaks her heart. He’s so obviously worn out and aching and it hurts her to see. Yosano said it would be best for him to sleep it off, so maybe that's just what he needs to do.

But he's in so much pain, he’s so uncomfortable, she can see it in his face. Can he even rest comfortably? Won’t he only get worse like this?

She remembers Gin wringing out a wet washcloth to lay over her brother's forehead. He was so out of it that he even let her take that coat off of him, something Kyoka would never have been able to accomplish.

"I'm sorry. I should have said something sooner," Kyoka had said quietly. She took note of him declining all day until he collapsed just before he was to be on his way home. Higuchi had already left. Hirotsu and Tachihara weren’t around. She somehow managed to get ahold of Gin, and Kyoka ended up coming with her to their apartment.

She wasn’t sure why Gin told her to follow, but maybe she knew she had nowhere else to go. If Kyoka wasn’t with Akutagawa, she was to be kept in a cell. Her ability was too dangerous, back then.

"Don't be sorry. He's stubborn, he never lets me help him until he can't fight back anymore," she answered. It was a sincere concern, her tone of voice made that clear. She laid the cloth over his head and a tiny groan barely escaped his nose. “I hope he’ll learn one day he doesn’t have to be like this anymore.”

Kyoka wasn’t sure what that meant. She doesn’t know their history, she has no idea where they’re from or how they came to be in the Port Mafia.

Kyoka decides she’ll take something from that memory, and she gets a cold washcloth ready for his forehead. She doesn’t want to leave him and go to work. She’s tempted to call Kunikida and ask if she can stay here to take care of him.

She gently lays the washcloth over his hot forehead and he relaxes. She’s relieved. She’s sure it can’t do much for too long, but she’s glad it can do something for the time being.

“Please don’t stay ‘cause of me,” Atsushi barely manages. His voice is weak and hoarse, she thinks it must have taken all of his energy to tell her that. She’s not sure how he noticed. Maybe he realized that she should be getting ready by now.

“But you’re really sick,” she tells him. Maybe he doesn’t see it that way. A hundred and two-degree fever isn’t life threatening, no, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t deserve care and attention right now. She can’t leave him.

“I’ll be okay,” he tells her before he takes in a deep breath, like he’s trying to get himself together, to somehow look presentable enough to convince her that he’ll be okay. “I’ll…I’ll rest. I’ll be okay when you get back, Kyoka.”

Kyoka wants to believe him, but Atsushi has this awful habit of refusing help when he really needs it. It’s like he thinks he’s an inconvenience.

He’s kind of like Akutagawa in that way, actually. She didn’t realize that before. Sure, Atsushi couldn’t ever be as aggressive as Akutagawa was, but his stubborn nature and insistence that he do things himself come from the same place, she thinks.

“I’ll come to check on you on my lunch break,” Kyoka tells him. She’s hoping with everything she has that he’s feeling better by then. Maybe it was just through the night that he felt like this. "I'll be back.”

…

The rest of the day goes much worse than she could have planned for.

Kyoka has been helping Kunikida and Junichiro catch an on-the-run criminal, a job usually reserved for the cops - but they informed the Armed Detective Agency of an ability user that has escaped custody at least four times, and they've given up trying.

Kyoka has been admittedly distracted. She’s made multiple attempts to contact Atsushi during the slower parts of the chase. She didn’t get to see Yosano this morning to tell her about Atsushi’s condition, but Kunikida and Junichiro are both aware that he’s not doing better, at least. She didn’t even have a chance gto check on him during their lunch break, because they simply didn’t have one.

Once they’re on their way back to the Agency, Kyoka finally has a chance to open a message she received from Atsushi, only simply telling her that he’s doing okay. But she can't take his word for it.

"Is it okay if I leave now?" Kyoka asks as soon as they get to the front of the building. Her hands are shaking. She really doesn’t even want to go get her things. She can always come back for them, but she needs to check on him as soon as possible. Part of her wonders if she’s just being paranoid. Maybe he’s perfectly fine.

Kunikida looks up. The three of them are expected to complete a report together. She’s worried Kunikida will decline. "Have you heard from Atsushi?"

Kyoka nods. “A few times. He says he’s okay, but…”

"Go ahead. Call us if he's not doing any better,” Kunikida tells her with a nod.

She practically runs back to the dormitory.

She’s quiet when she enters, like she always is. The lights are off, aside from the one in the kitchen, and once she peers into the bedroom, she realizes the blinds have been closed, too. They were open all night, he must have close dthem himself at some point.

Atsushi is curled up on the bed, holding the rabbit plush tight to his chest, not reacting to anything around him. Kyoka kneels down beside him. She doesn’t think he’s awake. She lays the back of her hand against his cheek and he’s seriously burning up. She sees his body shiver when she does that.

"Atsushi," Kyoka says quietly, but he doesn't budge. She manages to find the thermometer in the mess of sheets and pokes it past his parted lips. She lays it under his tongue for a few moments and holds her breath while she waits for a reading. She knows that no matter the reading, she’ll need to call Yosano.

It beeps, and she reads a hundred and three point eight.

She almost forgets to keep breathing. It wasn’t nearly that bad the last time she got a reading - she doesn’t understand. How could he have gotten this much worse even on the medication?

When she takes the thermometer back, all she hears from him is a pained groan. He must be at least a little conscious, which makes it even worse that he’s unresponsive. Kyoka’s hands shake as she takes her phone out and searches for Yosano’s contact, stepping just outside the door frame to call her. She doesn’t want to overwhelm him with noise when he’s closed the blinds already. He must have some sort of headache.

Yosano picks up. Kyooka could cry.

"Miss Yosano?" she starts meekly, trying to keep the phone steady in her hand.

"Good afternoon, Kyoka. How's Atsushi doing?" she asks kindly, like she always does. Kyoka is trying really hard to keep herself together. She knows she doesn’t need to cry. She knows she can get Atsushi in good hands, but she’s kicking herself for not doing it sooner.

"Not good," Kyoka murmurs quietly, peering back into the room for a moment, watching Atsushi's features twitch, deep within a dream, "his - his last temperature was, um, a hundred and three point eight. It keeps going up, and…he's really out of it, and…”

She hears Yosano curse under her breath. Kyoka can't help but hold her breath.

"Okay, Kyoka, I'm going to send someone over there to come pick up the two of you and bring you over here so I can try to help him," Yosano tells her. Her voice is calm and stern, which is reassuring. "I'm sorry, Kyoka. I should have had him come here sooner.”

Kyoka understands why she wanted to keep him at home. He doesn’t do well in her infirmary, he certainly would have felt worse being there. The antiseptic smell makes him nauseous and he hates throwing up, he would have been absolutely miserable. But now, there isn’t another choice.

“We’ll close off the client area and I’ll set up some things for him over there,” Yosano says. “Please call me if you need anything, I’ll have my phone on. Kunikida will be there shortly, I’m sure.”

Kyoka thanks her with a shaky tone of voice that she can’t hide anymore, and hangs up before she’s back at Atsushi’s side.

She looks him over, not able to see very well with his form only lit by the light from the kitchen, but he’s covered in sweat and awfully pale. His eyes are half-lidded but they twitch every now and then. Kyoka scurries out of the room to grab a cool wash cloth for him, and she uses it to pat his cheeks and slick the hair on his forehead back, and he shivers each time it touches his burning skin. She does that for a few minutes, even pressing it up to the side of his neck, hoping tahat will give him relief.

“Atsushi,” she says again as she lays it over his forehead, but he doesn’t respond. It takes everything in her not to cry. He’s okay. Yosano will take good care of him. It’s scary right now, but he’ll be okay.

His eyes finally open when her hand touches his wrist, and he looks so beyond miserable that she almost bursts into tears at the sight. They’re dull and unfocused, but it’s clear to her that he’s looking in her direction, at least. It almost looks like he wants to say something, but he can’t.

“Kunikida is coming to bring you to Yosano,” Kyoka tells him, squeezing his wrist - but right then, she loses his focus again. It’s like he loses sight of where he is.

Kyoka hears her phone start to ring, and it's Kunikida. She picks it up right away.

"I'll come up there and carry him downstairs. Are you both ready?" he asks sternly, sounding like he’s just gotten out of the car.

“Yes,” she murmurs, her eyes on Atsushi. Something isn’t right. He doesn’t look like he did before. She hears Kunikida walking up the stairs and he’s saying something to her but she;s so focused on observing Atsushi that she can’t understand him.

She sets the phone down and lays her free hand over that same wrist.

Atsushi's limbs start to jerk around.

She hears Kunikida make it through the front door just as tears start to slip down her face. She doesn’t know what’s happening to him. His whole body is twitching and jerking and he clearly doesn’t have any control over that. Kyoka isn’t sure he’s even conscious anymore.

"Mr. Kunikida," Kyoka stammers as he makes it into the room, and he quickens his pace, kneeling down on the opposite side of Atsushi and suddenly turning him so he’s laying on his side properly. Kyoka keeps her hands wrapped around his wrist as she continues to cry. “What’s happening to him? I…”

"It's okay. It's a seizure, it'll pass soon," Kunikida says, but she can hear the shake in his tone. She’s reassured by his familiarity, but obviously, he’s just as concerned as she is. "If this ever happens to anyone, lay them on their side like this. Wait for it to pass, and keep track of how long it goes on for."

Her phone is still open. It’s just sixteen minutes past noon right now.

“Why is he having a seizure?” she asks, hoping that he’ll have an answer.

“It must be this fever,” he says with a shaky sigh. “I’ve seen it happen to Dazai before. We’ll just wait for it to pass and ask him some questions when it’s over. Ask him where he is and what today’s date is, that sort of thing.”

“Okay…okay,” Kyoka says with a sniffle, wiping her eyes on her shoulder, not wanting to let go of Atsushi’s hand.

It’s only another two minutes before his body stills, but it was the longest two minutes of Kyoka’s life.

Atsushi groans, this time almost sounding wounded. She knows he’s still in pain and it hurts her so much.

"It's okay," Kyoka says as gently as she can, reaching forward and patting his hair down. She doesn’t think he’s too aware of his surroundings yet, but Kunikida is watching him closely. He makes sure he stays on his side. If he didn’t hand his hands on him, Kyoka thinks he would probably roll over on his face.

“Atsushi, can you tell me where you are?” Kunikida asks him sternly as Atsushi’s eyes start to come back into focus, but he doesn’t look ready to answer. In fact, he’s suddenly starting to look ridiculously nauseous, and before she can even really process that, he chokes up a mouthful of bile.

Kunikida curses under his breath, and she wonders if that may have been part of the reason he was keeping him on his side. She realizes that Atsushi is hardly reacting at all to having thrown up. Normally, something like this - so out of nowhere - would have sent him into a panic attack. But he’s so out of it he probably didn’t even realize it happened.

Kunikida scoops him up effortlessly and Kyoka takes her phone in her hands, and the stuffed rabbit that fell out of Atsushi’s grip as soon as he was lifted from the bed. Kunikida is clearly realizing that Atsushi is not responsive at all.

"Will he be okay?" Kyoka asks as she follows close behind Kunikida.

“He will. Yosano is a great doctor,” Kunikida assures her, but he can’t hide his own concern.

The ride to the Agency is short, but ever since she got to the dorm room earlier, everything has been moving at a snail’s pace. Kunikida put Atsushi in the passenger seat, not leaning back very far, probably out of a fear that he might vomit again, and Kyoka sits behind them in the middle seat, arms wrapped tight around the rabbit. Atsushi whimpered from the pain each time Kunikida shifted him. Kunikida is kind of a scary driver in general, but especially now, trying to get to the Agency as fast as possible.

She's so exhausted but so wired at the same time. Her head hurts. She wants Atsushi to be okay. She wants him to be coherent enough that he’ll tell her he’s okay, even if it’s not true. This is so scary.

Kunikida doesn’t even wait for the elevator when they arrive. He runs up the stairs with Atsushi in his arms, held close to his chest. Kyoka can barely follow behind him. She’s getting dizzy. Is she going to pass out? No, she can’t. She has to stay awake and make sure Atsushi will be okay.

“Hey,” someone says, taking her wrist once she makes it off the stairs. Her head is spinning. She knows it’s a voice she knows, but she can’t figure out who, not until she sees his eyes.

Dazai.

“Slow down for a second. Let’s wait here while they get him situated,” he tells her, and her knees give out under her before she lets out a sob she didn’t know that she was holding back. So much is happening. She would give anything to wake up and for it to all be over.

Dazai sits with her against the wall right to the left of the staircase, in the hallway outside of the Agency. She brings her knees to her chest, her stuffed rabbit surely out of breath with how hard she’s squeezing it, and she just cries.

“You’ve gone through this before,” Dazai says. It’s almost like he’s telling her rather than just suggesting the possibility. She’s never talked to Dazai about her time in the mafia, so there isn’t any way he would know that.

She has. She’s been in this position many times with Akutagawa, times where she was never permitted to do anything to help him. Whether he was ill or injured, he never let her anywhere close. It didn't matter if she cared about his well-being or not. This time, she had free will over it. She had everything at her disposal to help someone who needed it, and Atsushi would have accepted it, even through his stubbornness. How did she fail him?

“Kyoka, he’ll be okay. You know that,” he tells her sternly and she curls tighter into herself. “Everyone is here to help him together. You don’t have to do it by yourself just to prove you can.”

That stings. He saw right through her before she could even piece together how it happened.

It’s almost like he’s been told that same thing before. Like he’s been in her shoes. It's strange to hear him talk like that, because Dazai spends most of his time being the opposite of wise - but she always takes his advice to heart, whenever he takes a moment to give it to her.

"I'm sorry," she murmurs, her voice muffled through the stuffed rabbit.

"Don't be. If any of this were easy, you would've done it already. Right?" Dazai says, tilting his head as he looks at her. She looks up and he smiles. It's not the mischievous smile she's used to seeing on him. He's right. She nods at him and starts to wipe the tears from her face.

They sit there for a few minutes while Kyoka gathers herself, and she appreciates the brief silence. A moment for her to calm down.

After a while, Dazai stands up and offers her his hand, and she joins him, quietly trailing behind him into the office. She sees almost everyone huddled around the area where they speak with clients at the couches, where Atsushi must be.

Once Dazai approaches the group, the group that stands there parts for Dazai and Kyoka to get closer - Atsushi is lying on his back on the first couch, his face contorted in pain. Kyoka can’t tell if he’s awake or not with the way his eyes are screwed shut, but he doesn’t speak or make any noise. This is about how he’s looked for the past few hours.

Tanizaki is knelt on the tile beside him, patting his hair down with one hand and squeezing Atsushi’s with the other. Tanizaki is always so kind and gentle with him, Kyoka is glad he’s the one giving him comfort right now. Her heart aches, watching his deeply concerned expression.

Yosano sits on the coffee table as she finishes up inserting an IV catheter into Atsushi’s arm, with a flag of fluids on a pole on standby right behind Tanizaki. She finishes up, and attaches the line to the IV.

"Normally this stuff really scares him," Tanizaki notices, jaw clenched. He’s right. Atsushi is terrified of needles. Every time he’s needed any kind of injection, he’s passed out or thrown up or both. "He's so out of it."

“Can somebody get a few wet washcloths? We need to get his temperature down,” Yosano says sternly, just then having finished taking his temperature. Kyoka hears quick footsteps behind her and watches Haruno and Naomi scurry into the infirmary.

“What is it now?” Kunikida asks. He’s standing a bit further behind Kyoka. He’s pale and clearly stressed, arms crossed over his chest.

“It just hit a hundred point four. If it keeps climbing I’ll need to take him to a hospital,” Yosano says with a nervous huff.

Kyoka feels tears prick at her eyes again. She knows that has to be a last resort. Atsushi wouldn’t be able to handle being in a hospital if even Yosano’s infirmary is too much for him to handle.

"I think this has something to do with his ability," Dazai says, leaning against the room divider.

Yosano turns her head to him, a brow raised like she’s not sure if he’s joking or not. Kyoka isn’t quite sure at first either, but based on how he spoke to her earlier, she’s pretty certain that he’s serious. Her eyes drift to the open window, where she can still see the full moon despite the daytime sky, and she realizes she knows what he’s about to say.

"Remember, when we first found him?" Dazai says, turning to Kunikida, who looks just as confused as Yosano, at first. "The uncontrolled rampages of the tiger on the full moon."

"It is a full moon," Kunikida realizes. "You think that's something we should be worried about?"

"Not necessarily. I think while he’s under the President's ability, he doesn't need to worry about losing control," Dazai says, but then he sighs. "But I think right now, his body is fighting it. It would explain why he's in so much physical pain…the fever.”

“The seizures, too,” Kunikida suggests.

Kyoka bites her lip. He’s implying he’s had another seizure since arriving here.

Yosano nods. "Well, if it's part of an ability, can you nullify it?"

Dazai walks forward. Yosano stands up from her spot on the coffee table to make room for Dazai, and he sits right where she was and lays a hand over Atsushi's wrist.

His face relaxes. He whimpers a little before he sighs, like a weight has been lifted from his shoulders. Yosano watches carefully, her arms crossed.

“I’m wondering if it really is like…some sort of werewolf thing,” Yosano says. “You’re right. The president’s ability is trying to fight off the transformation, and that might be what’s causing all of these symptoms. Dazai’s ability might negate both of them.”

“I don’t know how the hell you figured that out, Dazai,” Kunikida says with a sigh himself as Naomi sneaks by to hand Yosano a small stack of washcloths just as she requested, and Yosano takes them with a nod as she starts to lay them over Atsushi - his forehead, his chest, his stomach, and his upper arms. Dazai stays right where he is, carefully studying Atsushi’s face.

“I doubt his symptoms will just go away, even though I’m doing this,” Dazai says. He lifts his hand, and at first, Atsushi seems unbothered by this - but only a few moments later, he groans in pain, his face twisting up in that awful pattern once again.

“Poor thing,” Yosano says.

"Sorry, Atsushi," he says quietly, laying his hand right back over that same spot. "I'll stay here.”

“So if it’s the full moon,” Kunikida says, “how long until he’ll start feeling better?”

“The full moon usually only appears to us for about three days,” Kenji interjects, peeking out from where he was standing behind Kyoka. “But she’s really only a true full moon for a few minutes. So, I think the worst should be over, but there’s still another day and a half until she’s in her next phase.”

“Interesting. Thank you, Kenji,” Kunikida nods appreciatively. “And, Kyoka, you said his symptoms started yesterday morning. Is that right?”

Kyoka nods.

“So it all lines up,” Kunikida says.

While Ranpo is largely considered to be the smartest in their agency, and for good reason, she thinks Dazai is certainly a close second, if not right beside him. He figured this out without much deliberation at all and only had his theory confirmed thanks to everyone’s information. He’s really impressive, honestly.

“That’s reassuring, then.” Yosano says with a heavy sigh. “I was really worried he would need a hospital visit…Dazai, if you don’t mind staying here for a bit, I’ll give him some injections and then check his temperature. Hopefully, Kenji’s theory is right.”

“I’ll be here,” Dazai assures, moving down to the tile floor with his legs crossed and leaning against the coffee table, his eyes fixed on Atsushi.

Yosano walks forward in Kyoka’s direction, probably with the intention of going to her infirmary, and frowns when she sees her. She kneels down in front of her and lays the back of her hand over her forehead, and Kyoka shrinks her face into the rabbit she’s been holding onto so tightly.

“You stayed up all night with him?” Yosano asks her gently.

Kyoka nods. She’s embarrassed, she doesn’t like this kind of attention, especially in front of her coworkers - people who she holds so much respect for. But even then, their concerned glances show that they don’t think any less of her.

"Get some rest. We've got it from here," Yosano says kindly, her hand landing on her shoulder. "Do you want to stay in the infirmary? Or here with Atsushi?"

"Here," Kyoka says quietly.

"I'll get some things for you," Naomi tells her from behind before Yosano leads her over to the second couch.

"I'm sorry you had to deal with everything yourself, Kyoka," Tanizaki says with a sad pout.

Kyoka's eyes still burn with oncoming tears. She doesn't want to think too much about it, but she's so grateful to have this weight lifted off her shoulders now. She knows she can trust them. She can rely on them to help her.

She's so glad to see Atsushi’s face relaxed, even if it's only due to Dazai's ability. Maybe she can rest for a little.

…

When Kyoka finally wakes up, the natural sunlight coming in through the window has all but vanished, replaced by the light of the full moon. She's been asleep for a while.

She sits up a little too quickly, ending up dizzy as she surveys her surroundings. There's a blanket over her legs that she doesn't remember being there, but she still has her rabbit tight in her arms. She frowns, she meant to give it back to Atsushi before she fell asleep.

She stands up, peering over the table to see if she can get a good look at Atsushi's face.

Dazai's still there, much to her surprise. He's draped over the end of the couch, arms folded over and his head ducked away, a hand still laid over Atsushi's lower arm. He looks like he's fast asleep.

She hears footsteps in her direction and sees Kunikida appear around the corner of the divider. She didn't think anyone else would be here around this time, aside from Yosano. It's gotten pretty late.

"Atsushi's doing a bit better now," Kunikida assures her. "His fever is under a hundred and four. So no hospital."

Kyoka feels the tension leave her shoulders.

"Is Dazai asleep?" Kyoka whispers.

"Surprisingly, yes," Kunikida answers with a deep sigh. "I tried to test him earlier by talking about crab, but he didn't budge. It's probably good for him too, he hasn't been sleeping recently."

Kyoka doesn't know much about what goes on with Dazai, but if this is somehow benefiting him too, she's glad for it.

"Kyoka, you're awake," Yosano says upon approaching them, a little louder than she should have, maybe - their heads all jerk in the same direction when they hear Atsushi grunt quietly, and his eyes start to blink open. Yosano's eyes grow wide with guilt, and Kunikida sighs.

Kyoka shifts over to that side so she can see him a little better. The pain has all but melted from his face. She's so glad. He's still pale, his hairline damp from sweat.

The corners of his lips lift a little bit when his eyes catch sight of her, and she almost feels like crying again. Obviously he doesn't have the energy to do anything other than that, but he's glad to see her. She tucks the rabbit she's been holding into the arm on the other side of her, and his smile doesn't fade, even as he closes his eyes again.

"His fever is still pretty high, but we've made some progress. No more seizures," Yosano says. "I think he'll be okay by the morning, I hope…Dazai's been a huge help in mitigating his symptoms."

"He never struck me as the type to do something like this," Kunikida says.

"We don't know a lot of what he's been through," Yosano says. "Maybe he's been in Atsushi’s position before."

Kyoka agrees. Even only in her six months in the Port Mafia, she experienced things too traumatic to even be considered hardships. Dazai was stuck there for years.

"Do you want something to eat, Kyoka? I was going to order something for us before the restaurants start closing," Yosano offers.

Kyokda nods. She doesn't think she's had anything to eat today, she'd appreciate a meal.

"Order something crab for Dazai. For when he wakes up," Kunikida asks. "He hasn't eaten today."

"Me? Shouldn't his boyfriend be doing that?" Yosano teases.

Kunikida's face is suddenly beet red, Kyoka can tell even in the dark. "Yosano -"

"Kidding, kidding. Your usual? I'll be back," Yosano says with a mischievous smile on her face before she turns on her heel to leave. Kunikida sighs deeply.

"Don't listen to anything she says," Kunikida tells Kyoka. Kyoka nods obediently. "I'll get you some water. I'll be right back."

Kyoka shuffled back to the other couch, bringing her knees up to her chest and covering herself up to her shoulder with her blanket as she watches Atsushi. She's still tired. She can feel it weighing down her eyelids.

Demon Snow appears close beside her again, just as she did last night, she always feels her mother's presence with her. Demon Snow used to only bring her painful memories, but recently, she's felt differently. Kyoka leans her head against Demon Snow's arm, and her vision fades out.

…

"She's still asleep?"

Kyoka's eyes shoot open. Atsushi's voice. Atsushi's awake.

She stands up and scrambles off the couch before her vision has even adjusted to the morning light, and she pays the price for it, tripping over her own feet and nearly landing face first on the floor - but someone catches her.

"Whoa, hey," the voice says, and she bursts into tears at the realization that it's Atsushi. He finally sounds like himself. She can tell he's still fatigued, but there's no pain or strain in his voice anymore. "Slow down, Kyoka."

He steadies her before he backs up a bit and they're both on their knees on the tile. Kyoka sniffles and tries to hide her face from him. The last thing she wants is for him to see her cry, but of course, it's too late.

"Hey, wait, don't…Kyoka," Atsushi says gently, a hint of sadness and guilt seeping into his tone, before pulling her into a hug again.

She just keeps crying. She's so glad to see him up and talking and okay. She saw a cooling patch on his forehead, but he's wearing a different, clean set of pajamas, and his hair is fluffy and full of life again, evidently having showered. He's still warm, but not nearly as warm as he has been.

"I'm really sorry, Kyoka," Atsushi says gently. "I should've listened to you better. You were just trying to help."

Kyoka nods into his shoulder. The last thing she wants is for him to feel guilty, but she's glad he recognizes that all she wanted was for him to be okay. All she wanted was to help someone she cared about. She worries about the future, because if this was really due to the full moon, it's bound to happen again. But at least now they know.

"I brought a crepe for you," he says as he leans back, smiling at her. Kyoka sniffles, and her eyes glitter at the idea of a crepe. "You don't have to eat it now, I know you just woke up and maybe you don't want something sweet this early, but -"

"I'll have it now," Kyoka says. She's honestly starving.

Atsushi stands up and offers a hand to her to help her stand up, and she takes it gratefully. She latches onto his wrist.

"Thank you," Atsushi says to her. She squeezes his wrist tighter. She won't let him go. He's done so much for her, looking after him is the least she can do.

“Oh,” Ranpo suddenly says, appearing before them, voice muffled by something in his mouth. Atsushi gasps, but of course, he’s far too polite to make any sudden accusations with no solid evidence. “Was that crepe for someone?”

“Ranpo,” Yosano groans as she appears from the hallway, smacking a stack of papers against her thigh, “you get out of here this instant and replace that crepe.”

“Wanna come with me?” Ranpo asks innocently.

“No! Get out of here,” Yosano huffs, walking behind him and pushing him out of the front entrance.

“Never a dull moment, huh…” Atsushi says with a half-dejected sigh, almost like he expected this outcome. “I guess it was gonna be either him or Dazai…”

“We could go with him,” Kyoka suggests, tilting her head up at Atsushi. “If you’re not busy.”

“Hm…true, then he has to buy crepes for both of us,” Atsushi giggles mischievously. “Ranpo, wait for us!”

Atsushi chases Ranpo out through the hallway and the latter groans, already guessing their true intentions, and Kyoka smiles, her grip still tight on Atsushi’s wrist.

#bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #bsd #8

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sicktemberfeed · 8 months

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endearing bastard || suegiku sickfic

ao3! 2.9k - please refer to the tags in the link for content + warnings! sicktember 2023, day 10: “The only place we’re going is to the pharmacy”

“Tecchou,” Jouno starts with a heavy sigh.

Every sign he’s observed in the first five minutes of meeting Tecchou this morning has pointed to proof that his fellow Hunting Dog has come to work with some kind of illness. Unsteady breaths, gurgling from his stomach, groans quiet enough for only Jouno to hear.

“Yes?” Tecchou starts. They’re both an hour early. Completely unnecessarily, really. Jouno started showing up five minutes early to their meetings, and out of pettiness, Tecchou being showing up ten minutes before him. And now, they’ve done it so many times that they’ve reached an hour.

“Go home. You’re sick,” Jouno grumbles. He really doesn’t want to argue with him. Tecchou is stubborn and difficult to reason with. It’s hard to get a lot of things through that thick skull of his.

"But we have to report to the captain today," Tecchou murmurs. So he’s not denying that he’s sick. That’s good, he thinks, but it might be bad that he’s sick enough to know he can’t hide it from Jouno.

"I'll report to him. The only place you're going to is the pharmacy."

Jouno lands a hand on Tecchou’s arm and snakes it down to his wrist before he starts pulling him in the direction of the exit from where they stand in one of the halls on the first floor of the building. Tecchou’s arm is warm. The heat is already radiating through the sleeve.

Tecchou only makes it a few steps before he stubbornly plants his feet on the floor. Stubbornness aside, he’s physically much stronger than Jouno. Jouno couldn’t deadweight carry someone like Tecchou even if his life depended on it.

"Do you really think you're in any condition to work today? Be serious," Jouno huffs. He'd really like to get that through Tecchou's thick skull, but he doesn't seem to understand it at all. He uses his teeth to pull off his glove, and brings his hand back up to Tecchou's forehead, gently pressing his palm against his skin. He's much warmer there as opposed to his arm. If he had to guess, that's at least a hundred-and-one fever, and the way his stomach is gurgling isn't a good sign either.

"But you've come to work sick before, Jouno," Tecchou eventually says, his voice a little softer than normal.

Jouno groans. He should have known that argument was coming. He slides his glove back on. "So you think that because I do it, that it's okay for you to? If I jumped off a cliff, would you?"

"Depending on the circumstance -"

"Oh my god, shut up. We're taking you to the pharmacy. End of story," Jouno huffs, his hand snaking back down to find Tecchou's. This time, he interlocks their fingers, and starts to pull him back down the hall. "And then you're going to stay at home and rest."

“What about the captain?” Tecchou mumbles, not sounding very on board with this plan, but at least he’s following Jouno.

“I’ll call Teruko and fill her in. You call a cab.”

And so, they do just that. Tecchou stands outside as he calls a cab, and Jouno asks his phone to call Teruko, who responds just as annoyed as he would expect her to. He assures her that no, it’s no disrespect to captain Fukuchi, that Tecchou is truly ill and Jouno is simply escorting him home.

“Are you taking him home to his place? Or yours?” Teruko asks, just as Jouno was planning on hanging up.

He pauses. He feels his ear start to get hot, wondering if maybe she’s onto something. “Why does that matter?”

“Just curious,” she says rather mischievously. “Bye-bye, Jouno.”

“Bye, Teruko,” he grumbles with uncertainty as he steps out of the building, hearing the taxi cab approach from the distance.

“Why do you need to come with me?” Tecchou asks as Jouno steps in line beside him.

“Because I don’t trust you to take care of yourself,” Jouno says, and for some reason, that stops any additional questions from Tecchou. The two of them climb in the taxi cab, and Jouno requests they be taken near the shopping district near where their apartments are, to the nearest pharmacy. The driver apparently nods, quietly pointed out to Jouno by Tecchou.

Tecchou is quiet for most of that ride, but the gurgling sounds of his stomach don’t seem to be getting any better. They coincide with the irregular nature of his breathing, and that makes it clear enough that Tecchou is nauseous. Jouno wonders if he’s had anything to eat, or if this is a symptom of his illness. Probably the latter.

“Flu?” Jouno asks.

“Not sure,” Tecchou says quietly, almost embarrassed, but he seems to recognize that Jouno will not take silence for an answer. “Maybe.”

“How long have you been sick for?” Jouno asks him.

“Two…two or three days, maybe,” Tecchou says.

“And it’s worse today?” Jouno asks. He hasn't seen him the last few days. Tecchou had a few days off while Jouno was working with Tachihara on a Port Mafia related matter.

“Yes,” Tecchou admits.

Jouno doesn’t understand him. Maybe it’s because of how being ill messes with his senses, but he would never want to endure multiple says of being ill without seeing a doctor, or taking some kind of medication. Tecchou is really far too stubborn for his own good.

“If it’s a flu, we’ll get you some flu medication and see how it goes. If you feel worse tomorrow I’m taking you to the doctor,” Jouno says sternly, making sure that Tecchou knows his intentions from the beginning.

“Okay,” Tecchou answers dejectedly.

It’s quiet for the rest of that ride, until they reach the pharmacy in the city.

Jouno and Tecchou enter inside, and Jouno realizes too late they’ve forgotten to change out of their outfits judging by the whispers of police, military and other such things from the staff and patrons. Jouno doesn’t mind too much, it often gains him more respect on account of his disability, but Tecchou doesn’t like using his status to his advantage.

They walk a few steps forward, and before Jouno can ask Tecchou to lead him to where he needs to be, he stops behind him.

"Do you think there's a restroom here?" Tecchou asks quietly.

"Probably in the back,” Jouno says before Tecchou’s footsteps trail away, and he realizes he’s on his own. He doesn’t like doing things like this. There are certain things that his hearing is incredibly helpful for, and this is not one of them. He’s certainly more suited for combat and investigative work, not navigating a pharmacy.

He doesn’t like asking for help, but he’ll do it for Tecchou.

He follows the sounds of the register - the drawers opening and closing, beeps from scanning items, and heavy foot traffic, and he stands himself at the front as the last patron exits the store.

“Excuse me,” he says sternly. “I’m looking for a good flu medication.”

A woman starts to speak. “Oh, yes, sir. There’s a few options down in the isle behind - “

“I’m blind,” he tells her before she can give any further directions.

“Oh! I’m so sorry. I’ll go find one for you, sir,” she says, stepping out from behind the register.

“That’s fine. I’ll wait here,” he says as she scurries off to one of the many isles behind him. He starts to hear whispers from some others behind the counter, comments about a blind soldier, and things he would rather tune out. Jouno can usually count on Tecchou to argue back, even when it's not his place to. He can hear him in his head. You have no right to say things like that. Please mind your own business.

He smiles to himself. He’s ridiculous, really.

He hears Tecchou’s footsteps get closer. His stride is very distinct. He carries himself well, but even today, Jouno can tell he's getting sluggish. He tries to listen for other signs, but the scurried footsteps of the cashier return, and she steps behind the cashier.

“Here you are, sir. Is this for you? Or - ”

“Thank you. It’s not for me. I can have him read the instructions himself,” Jouno says, gesturing with his head toward Tecchou as the woman scans the medication.

They're out of the pharmacy before long and Tecchou leans against the outside of the building after he finishes his call for a cab.

“Did you ask someone for help?” Tecchou asks. He sounds surprised.

“Don’t act like I can’t do it myself. It would have just taken me longer," Jouno insists. He'd like to not admit that it would have been virtually impossible to pick out a medication without already being familiar with how each and every container is shaped, and how the pills sound in the bottles. He only recognizes what's in his own collection at home.

Tecchou almost responds, but he's interrupted by a quiet groan, and stifles a near silent burp into his fist.

"Did you throw up?" Jouno asks him, realizing he missed something. "In the bathroom?"

"Mhm," he mumbles.

Jouno sighs. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Tecchou is quiet for a few moments, like he's confused. "I just told you."

"I know that. Just…" Jouno sighs again. He finds himself doing that incredibly often around Tecchou. Jouno, personally, hates throwing up. He doesn't understand how Tecchou shrugs it off to easily. "Tecchou, you can't come to work when you're feeling this bad. It's not good for you or anyone else."

"Okay."

"Okay?" Jouno raises a brow.

"I won't do it again," Tecchou elaborates. "I just didn't want to disappoint you."

"Tecchou, you're not…" Jouno groans. He wonders if there's any point convincing him otherwise. "Let's go home. You should rest."

Tecchou confuses him. He’s so weirdly competitive, but then in moments like these, he shows that weakness. That he’s only trying to compete with Jouno to prove himself, for some odd reason.

“I can go home by myself. It doesn’t make sense to trouble you," Tecchou insists.

“Don’t be stupid. I'm telling the driver to take you to my place and I’ll take care of you,” Jouno says as if it’s the only viable option.

“Why?” Tecchou asks.

“What do you mean, why?” Jouno thinks he's more confused than Tecchou is.

“Why do you want to? What difference does it make?” Tecchou asks. It sounds like a genuine question. Like he’s confused about it.

“You’ve done it for me,” Jouno says. "And, I…you know."

He can practically hear Tecchou tilt his head.

"Ugh, don't make me say it," Jouno grumbles.

"I can't read your mind, Jouno," Tecchou reminds him. He almost sounds like he’s teasing. He’s getting harder and harder to read, these days.

"I care about you, idiot," Jouno huffs, feeling his ears heat up before he turns his head away, making sure Tecchou won’t be able to see his reddening face. "Where's that damn cab?"

Tecchou is quiet after that, and the short taxi ride back, too.

They make it to Jouno's apartment without incident.

He holds his key card up to the door handle and he lets the two of them inside. Jouno won’t mind a little day off, and he’s sure Tecchou could use it, too, especially while he’s unwell.

“You can change. I’m sure I have something that fits you in my closet. Just hang up your uniform on the coat rack, and don’t forget it like you did last time,” Jouno says as he wanders off to his bedroom. He’s pretty certain that he has some of Tecchou’s clothes in his closet. He remembers finding unfamiliar clothing in his laundry the other week.

He finds one of his old shirts and a pair of sweatpants just as Tecchou shuffles into the bedroom, and Jouno tosses them over to him as he sits down on the bed. Jouno’s still deciding on what he wants to wear, but he doesn’t hear Tecchou making any effort to get changed.

"Jouno," Tecchou starts.

"What is it?" Jouno sighs. He hopes he doesn’t have a complaint about the outfit choice. It’s not like they’re going somewhere.

"I'm sorry," Tecchou says quietly.

Jouno lowers his arms and turns around. “If any of this were actually a problem for me, I would have ignored you at headquarters and made you deal with it yourself, Tecchou.”

Tecchou doesn’t have anything to say to that. He’s concerned about his behavior. Maybe his fever is just throwing him off kilter or something, or maybe Jouno just hasn’t seen how he acts when he’s not feeling well. He busies himself with hanging up his own uniform, not caring much that he’s changing right in front of Tecchou. He’s seen him do it before.

“Are you changed?” Jouno asks as he slips a shirt on. He hears Tecchou hum something sounding like a yes. “Read the instructions on the medication. You should go ahead and take a dose.”

“Can I wait a minute?” Tecchou asks.

“Why?” Jouno huffs. He pauses for a second, before he realizes the sounds coming from Tecchou’s stomach are a bit too wild for his liking. “Are you about to throw up?”

“I think so,” he murmurs.

“Well then get to the bathroom, you idiot,” Jouno sighs, not bothering with his sweatpants in that moment, taking Tecchou’s wrist and leading him to the bathroom.

Tecchou gets ahead of him with a pained groan as he drops onto his knees in front of the toilet, and before Jouno can even kneel down beside him, he hears him gag and choke before he brings up a mouthful or two of vomit, splashing into the toiler water below. Jouno hates that sound, and normally he wouldn’t stay with anyone through something like this - it’s far too much auditory stimulation for someone like him, but he feels guilty leaving Tecchou alone when he’s feeling so unwell.

He has a pretty strong stomach most of the time. He can drink without suffering hangovers, he can eat those ridiculous food combinations without having to deal with so much as a tummyache, and he never seems to deal with headaches or migraines like Jouno does. He’s not used to feeling miserable like this. He doesn’t show it easily, but Jouno can hear the little whines and whimpers from the back of his throat, moans of discomfort as he lets the drool pooling in his mouth drip into the toilet.

“Maybe this is what you get for eating crap all of the time,” Jouno teases as he rubs his back, a little unnerved by how warm his skin is feeling.

Jouno thinks that he really doesn’t feel good. He doubts it has anything to do with Tecchou’s strange diet habits, because he’s running a fever and he doesn’t even have the energy to put up with Jouno’s teasing. He tries to hide a burp by closing his mouth but it’s accompanied by a gag that he can’t hold back, and he throws up again. He sighs to himself and Jouno feels him lean forward and lay his head down on the toilet seat.

“Hey,” he starts, sneaking a hand under his shirt as he leans against him to rub circles into his slightly bloated tummy. “You shouldn’t lay there. Let’s go to bed.”

“I don’t want to get up,” Tecchou murmurs quietly, spitting out a wad of saliva.

“I’ll help you,” Jouno insists. He can’t carry Tecchou, he’s sure of that, but the least he can do is provide him some support. “Do you think you’re done for now?”

“Mhm,” Tecchou murmurs. “Can you…can you keep a trash bin by your bed?”

“I can do that,” Jouno agrees. That tells him Tecchou must not feel much better after that. Maybe he’ll really have to take him to the doctor sooner rather than later. He hates that he feels like this.

Tecchou groans as he forces himself up off the floor, evidently much more fatigued and weak than he was initially letting on. Jouno’s glad he managed to convince him to come here, he doesn’t want to think about what would have happened if he stayed at work.

Jouno takes his arm and leads him back to his bedroom, and the latter crawls into bed and under the covers without needing to be told, thankfully. Maybe he’ll give him some time for his stomach to settle before he makes him take any medication. It doesn’t make sense to do that while he’s feeling so nauseous.

Jouno sets the trash bin on the nightstand beside where Tecchou has claimed a spot, and climbs into bed beside him with a deep sigh. His hand snakes around until he finds the hem of Tecchou’s shirt, and he lays it over his tummy, continuing to rub gentle circles into his warm skin.

"I can still hear your stomach gurgling," Jouno tells him quietly. "Do you still feel nauseous?"

Tecchou hums something, but that's all Jouno hears. That’s impressive, Jouno can usually tell what he’s saying no matter what.

"What was that?" Jouno asks.

Tecchou's quiet, now. Jouno almost says it again, before he hears a quiet snore. Tecchou has always been quick to fall asleep, and especially now.

“I’ll take you to the doctor if you don’t feel any better after your nap,” Jouno says, sinking his head into his pillow, scooting a little closer to Tecchou, keeping his hand where it is. He hopes he can soothe him a little, even while he’s falling asleep. “Sleep well, Tecchou.”

Tecchou snores in response, and Jouno’s annoyed by the way the corners of his own lips start to turn upward.

Stupid endearing bastard.

#bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #bsd #10

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