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shining-armor-reads-texts-blog
Shining Armor Reads
Hi, there. I'm Shining Armor, prince of the Crystal Empire and former Captain of the Canterlot Guard. Ever since my wedding to Princess Cadance, I've been getting... Well, messages from the Changeling Queen who tried to ruin our special day and conquer Equestria. Cadance suggested I post some of these messages on this blog as a way to help cope with what happened. I don't see what could go wrong! Also, I'll be reading 'The Adventures of Dr. McNinja' in-between text messages! Could be fun!
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hold me closer tiny bastard
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Shining Armor, you might want to stay as far away from Ponyville as you can for the foreseeable future. Unless you've spontaneously gotten over your fear of Changeling Queens since the last time you mentioned it, of course.
Way ahead of you.
#shining armor reads texts#ask
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Aw, man, I want cake, too.
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Bonbon: Phew! I can鈥檛 wait for the lovely couple to see this cake I baked for them! Its one of the biggest I鈥檝e ever made: I鈥檒l bet it could feed a large party of ponies to celebrate once they officially get together!
#dungeonmasterbonbon#carapacereadssomecomics#Gilda Reads#brainy twilight
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Your highness, they're called 'feet'.
That's a footprint.
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鈥nd then Annie became the greatest vandal in Human history.
#shining armor reads texts#softer luna
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Hey Armor, why don't you go tell Snowberry the story of how Spike helped destroy Sombra and save the Crystal Empire.
hey now i dont hate All of them dargs
speck is cool guy with cute footie pj鈥檚
#shining armor reads texts#ask#snowberry the best assistant ever
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Cadance and I are going to try and teach the Crystal Ponies some Hearth's Warming carols tonight. Snowberry will be providing a festive backdrop for us.
#shining armor reads texts
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dargons eat us all and crystals too
you jerk
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Looks like you all have your own opinions on Dragons!
From what they said earlier though, Sivo apparently isn鈥檛 considered one. I don鈥檛 know if we can use him as an example.
#shining armor reads texts#Forest Melody#snowberry the best assistant ever
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carapacereadssomecomics聽replied to your聽post:I WANT TO KILL EVERYBODY IN THE WORLD OEE OEE OH EEH OH I WANT TO EAT YOUR HEART
Khepri: I kinda like it.
The bassline is so repetitive!
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I WANT TO KILL EVERYBODY IN THE WORLD OEE OEE OH EEH OH I WANT TO EAT YOUR HEART
I hate that song.
#shining armor reads texts#ask
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Don't be so harsh on Blueblood. He is likely to die completely alone with no one slowly bleeding :) so it is probably best to be nice to him since he will be cursed in the end and will die alone and cold :)
I don鈥檛 want him to die. I just want everypony in the world to hate him as much as I do.
#shining armor reads texts#ask
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Everypony in the Crystal Empire is laughing at you, Blueblood.
Rarity, I'm making you a Duke for this.
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Bonsai:
His Highness has been hit! Hurry, it looks like he鈥檚 starting to bruise.
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Cloudkicker:
Here, I got this! Hold still, Princey.
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Blueblood:
Ow! That- OW!!! Violent little ruffian!
Miss Rarity shows us once again why she is too uncouth for -OWW!- high society.
As miss Dash...
#shining armor reads texts#dungeonmasterbonbon
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Oh, thanks, Gilda! I can't wait to FAP with you!
Wait.
Why am I wearing a surprisingly breathable cotton t-shirt?
#shining armor reads texts#Gilda Reads
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Wait.
Why am I wearing a surprisingly breathable cotton t-shirt?
#shining armor reads texts
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Ooh, neat. You're starting a club? I want to join!
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Ok, I lied, sue me. There are no t-shirts, or a club.
Yet.
I鈥檝e got some ideas that I need to send to Brainy.
#shining armor reads texts#Gilda Reads
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Can you post a handy guide on how not to confuse/annoy the crystal ponies on a trip? Etiquette on cameras, technology, food, certain words, etc. Or what have tourists done in the past that you would discourage?
Well, no painting yourself black, standing on a soap box, and calling yourself the second coming of Sombra. That鈥檚 a big No.
Also, don鈥檛 throw rocks inside of crystal houses.
#shining armor reads texts#ask
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Blueblood picked on you in high school, didn't he?
I doubt Blueblood has any kind of education at all.
#shining armor reads texts#ask
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So, do you and Cadence have any plans for Hearth's Warming? I assume that your subjects are familiar with that holiday, considering how long ago the events of Ponyville's play took place during, but I could be wrong.
They鈥檙e aware of the holiday, but they鈥檙e confused about giant candy canes.
#shining armor reads texts#ask
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Can I have Snowberry's autograph?
Snowberry can鈥檛 write his name.
Or anything. I鈥檓 confused as to how he types.
#shining armor reads texts#ask
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