He was and still is everything to me. Imagine the person who you loved for almost 4 years, who saw you naked multiple of times, called you beautiful everyday breaks up with you and says the reason is because your fat and ugly.

Crazy right.

Same person wants to still be friends, have access to your body and still go on "dates" but again as friends. What should you do ?

Now you, being you already hating yourself and not having and self worth goes along with it but regret it every day. Just to one day think that he might take you back but for him to show you the girl of his dreams and you don't look anything like her. She skinny has long hair and is perfect.

Just imagine!

Some times I feel as if I’m never going to except how I look when I’m with him. I feel as if I’m not meant for him, were two different people with somewhat different interests. But I love him, is my love for him just because we were friends for so long and that I ended talking to him because I felt that I liked him or is it because I just wanted someone to notice me for my beauty and help me to gain my confidence and he was just there at that moment. But I love him. My feeling keeps on confusing me which I don’t know why. I was forced to grow up at a young age, I didn’t get everything that I wanted, I didn’t have a father and my mom wasn’t and sometimes still isn’t around. He has his whole family when he was growing up and probably he didn’t get everything he wanted but the point is we didn’t experience each other’s horrible situation. But I love him. He still act like a child which is understandable since we’re young but I don’t know how to act like my age because of my experience with life, I want to but don’t know how too. I know what to do with my future and sometimes he acts like he doesn’t care. But how I’m a suppose to feel when I want my future with him and I know where to start, but he doesn’t know what to do and how to do it. He doubt himself all the time and always feels like he’s going to fail. I want to tell him that his been stuck under his mother wings for to long that he is so uncomfortable from evening leaving or even imagine leaving. It makes it so difficult to tell him that some of the things or decisions he’s making he need to stop making because it’s not benefiting him but his mother. He’s really lazy but he was raised that why and I’m not saying he’s rich but he is spoiled which is understandable but I know he worked for some of the things he has but he is so comfortable in this environment that he has a fixed mindset on it and it’s hard to fight with it and I don’t want to give up because I’m the end I love him.

I’m looking for someone

I can’t find them and they can’t find me.

Does he even exist.

Love is where the heart is, when you found no love at all...