my kind of courage is being able to walk up to a restaurant's counter and order food without embarrassing myself,

and i feel fucking proud afterwards.

once you’ve known fear, all you have to do is to be courageous

i hate you for making me hate myself

false hopes are the worst

something awaits me at the end of all this pain

there must be

i'll keep on holding on

there's nothing else to do anyway

don't ever take something for granted

i learned that the hard way

i'm starting to believe that this life doesn't want me

but that's okay because it's kind of mutual

how dare you tell me to get over it?

i’d like to see you try and get over hundreds of fears that your own mind puts you through every fucking day - and face all the thoughts that makes you feel like you’re unwanted and that everything you do is wrong

i’d love to see that

i’m sorry for saying sorry too often

i don't want to remember what happened years ago

or know what's ahead of me

i just want to live the fucking present

but i guess i'm asking for too much because nothing is getting better.

all the overthinking

is driving me insane

sometimes,

i just can’t stop crying

it hurts to know that you’re all alone in your sadness, but it hurts even more when you know that someone is willing to help you. it feels like all the walls you’ve been building up come crashing down. it feels like there’s a hole in your heart like you’re less sad, less hollow. it feels like the hole in your heart is slowly fulfilling itself and when it’s finally healed, you feel like you’re more filled than you were before. because besides you stands a friend that took place after he dug a hole in your heart, through your walls and fortresses, through your loneliness and your “i am fine on my own” stubbornness. He forced his way so that you finally realize that you are not alone in this and that even though you don’t need help, in fact, you still want them to notice how much you suffer. you want to show them how strong you are, but that at some point, you can’t stand it anymore. you want help, but you’re too proudful for that. it hurts when you know someone is actually willing to help you, even though you are broken. It hurts when you finally decide to trust someone enough for the first time in forever. it feels like you can take a long breath without feeling like it might be the last.

it feels like you can become easily addicted to this happiness.

no regrets about this long post.

i walk a lonely road the only one that i have ever known

from Boulevard of Broken Dreams, Green Day.

i don't need someone to lie to me and say that everything's going to be fine, because it probably won't no, what i want is the simplest of all; a shoulder to cry on

it's like i'm suffocating