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rhenysz · 2 months
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YDE is genuinely my roman empire i think about it once a day at LEAST the concept is so amazing and your writing is just perfection! please tell me you’ll continue
I'm still aliveeeee (for a short time) but! I have no intention of abandoning YDE I'm just a little discouraged. You are so kind to me 🥺 thank you for the words!
Here 👇🏻 a little piece. In chapter 3 we will have MANY things... Prepare your hearts 😌
The morning wind hit your face as you crossed the threshold, and the birds' singing passed through your ears like a sweet melody. However, as beautiful as it was, your eyebrow couldn't help but arch at your sister's haste; surely the letters couldn't be that interesting, at least not for Elain. She could barely contain herself when the matter was brought to the table. Oh, what gossip would you have today, dear sister?
"Do you desire something more from the city beyond the letters?" Her tone was nonchalant, but even the most foolish of men could see the curiosity behind her question.
Elain stumbled over something on the ground, almost taking you with her, and you were no longer so sure who the blind sister was here.
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rhenysz · 3 months
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Practice On Me — Bonus Part — Fin x Reader.
Summary: A reimagining of how things would have gone if Reader had decided she wanted Fin — despite him being her friend’s father.
Word Count: 7.2k
Warnings: Heavy on the smut. 18+, minors dni. Some jealous and possessiveness. Mentions of forbidden relationships/affairs. If the choices Reader makes in this are something you’re against, I urge you not to read! 🫶🏻
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Rita’s is like no other place you’ve been — or seen — before.
Is this what you’ve missed out on, trapped within the frozen maw of Windhaven? There is no place like this there, of such vibrancy and euphoria. The music, the coloured faelights, the energy — it all makes you feel…on top of the world.
Like there’s life outside the misery you’ve known.
Mor knocks a shot back, grimacing as she slams the empty glass onto the bar. A sudden burst of giggles leaves her as she says, “My father would have my head if he could see me right now. Literally.”
You don’t doubt that for a second, because Mor looks resplendent, not just in her natural beauty, but her joy. She has danced and drank and kissed and danced some more. And seeing her like this…it makes you glad that she convinced you to come out with her tonight.
“My father would have my head, too,” you tell her over the music. “I’m surprised he hasn’t already.”
At that, she rolls her eyes, and she reaches for two more shots. “Here’s to saying fuck the males,” she knocks her glass against yours. “May they all perish.”
You’ll happily drink to that. With the alcohol that has you in its grip, you’re buzzed on thoughts of storming back to Windhaven and confronting all your demons. Confronting anyone and everyone who has ever hurt you and made you feel less than you are. Your father. Lord Devlon. Azriel—
You banish that thought as the liquid slides down your throat with a satisfying burn. You are in Velaris, not Windhaven. A new place with new people, where anything feels possible. The thought is heady and dizzying.
Someone calls Mor’s name, and she glances over her shoulder, her beautiful eyes lighting up again. You truly don’t know how often she’s able to escape the Hewn City and get away to Velaris, but judging by the amount of friends she’s introduced you to tonight, she’s certainly made her mark here.
“Let’s go dance with them!” Mor yells over the music, grabbing your hand.
You think that dancing might be the answer to everything you’ve never known, and so you gladly follow; gladly throw yourself into the thrall of the busy floor.
But that’s when you see him.
Something…some deep power…compels you to look up. Coaxes your eyes to that area a level above, where the city’s VIP guests spend copious amounts of money on copious amounts of alcohol and drink it from their cushy velvet booths. They’re reserved for associates of the High Lord, a not-so-formal place to meet to discuss not-so-casual things.
But none of that matters. There could be an entire circus up there right now, and still all you would notice is — him.
He notices you, too.
The High Lord’s eyes zero in on you from up above. You watch, rooted to the spot, as he takes in the sight of you, from your braided back hair, to your painted face, your dress and the legs exposed by them. He looks like…like he’s finally setting his sights upon an image that was merely fantasy up until now.
He braces his arms on the balustrade. And he just stares.
You want to know what he’s doing here. Whether he’s at Rita’s for business or…or for pleasure. You’ve heard that there are rooms upstairs for people willing to pay the price. Perhaps there’s a lover up there with him somewhere, waiting to explore every last inch of that glorious, sculpted body—
The bleating jealousy that makes your heart twist is…unexpected. And not ideal; not one bit.
He is Rhysand’s father. Things may have been fucked up royally with Azriel, and you may have been burned by the experience — but Fin is Rhysand’s father.
Your friend’s father.
Your friend’s father who has just so happened to help keep you feeling alive these past weeks. With his layers-deep allure, the sweet, sweet words that roll off his tongue. His hospitality, his generosity. His kindness. All of it, you’d attributed to him being a natural charmer, a High Lord who knows precisely what to say, what to do.
It strikes you in that moment — just how much it’s all sunk its way into your bones and made you feel…dangerous.
He watches you like a cat with a mouse. Watches as somebody grabs your hand and yanks you into the tightly knit dancing bodies. The music pulses through you from head to toe, a frenzied tune of strings and keys that somehow come together to create the feeling of being borne aloft. Being on top of the world.
As you become lost to the sensation of dance, you’re glad to forget all your thoughts about Fin. You don’t want to wonder what he’s doing here. You don’t want to imagine what those strong, rough hands might get up to, where they might venture.
You become sandwiched between two males who dance with you in a way that makes you forget your wings were ever stolen. They touch you and touch each other, and you welcome it all, happy to be someone, somewhere, else. At least for a while.
But there’s suddenly a foreign touch to your shoulder. That of a cold, meaty hand that stills your movements and draws your attention. The two males happily slink away and begin grinding on each other, and you spin on the spot to find a tall, stocky male who looks like he punches people in the face for the hell of it.
“Y/N?” He checks, and you nod. “The High Lord wishes to speak with you. Upstairs.”
You glance over your shoulder, eyes searching for Mor and finding her just as she’s following a male and female to a cloaked-off area at the back. That’ll be her occupied for the remainder of the night. You’re officially going solo.
But not for long. Not as the bouncer juts his chin in the direction of the staircase and begins to lead you there. Perhaps it makes you a fool, but you follow without a word.
He pulls back a rope and gestures for you to go on up, and then he’s refastening it behind you and turning back to train a keen eye on the dance floor. It’s purely the alcohol that hits you with enough of an ego to climb those stairs like you belong amongst the chandeliers and velvet booths.
But you look good — amazing, even. You know you do. And looking like this, things like scars and other insecurities seem so trivial. You’ve taken back the right to feel as beautiful as you are. You wear your Illyrian features proudly, and you’re pretty and lithe and graceful—
And your heel catches on the top step of the staircase, almost sending you sprawling to the floor — if not for the warm hand that catches your elbow.
“Easy.” Fin rasps into your ear, setting you steady on your feet.
Your numbed, inebriated senses are not immune to the effect of his voice, it would seem. The deep baritone, rough as jagged rock, pushes its way into your skin, your veins, and spreads far faster than any alcohol could.
“Pardon me, my Lord,” you answer, and you’re unable to shove down the hysterical giggle that claws up your throat. “Fuck, you’re the High Lord.”
He cocks a dark eyebrow. “And you are drunk.”
“The whiskey they serve here is immense.”
“I’ll be sure to extend your compliments to Rita herself.”
Is that, you wonder, who he’s up here meeting? Perhaps the elusive Rita is a close associate of his. Perhaps they do deals in both business and pleasure.
And taking in your fill of the High Lord right now, in a dark button-up shirt and fitted breeches of a slate grey, you would not blame Rita one little bit.
Gods, he’s exquisite. Rhysand may resemble Roza more than he does Fin, but…with two parents of such stunning beauty, it’s no wonder your friend is as handsome as he is.
“I didn’t expect to see you here,” you make no secret of the way your eyes linger on him. Tonight is dangerous, and you’re enjoying it.
“Nor I, you,” he narrows his gaze down at you. “Imagine my surprise, considering that when I left the palace earlier this evening, you were curled up in the library with a book. And yet, here you are. Wearing…” mahogany eyes take in the short cut of your dress, “…that.”
“Mor surprised me with a visit.”
“My niece ought to be more careful not to press her father’s buttons too much,” a muscle in his chiselled jaw ticks. “And I think you ought to be more careful not to push mine.”
“I’ll bear that in mind.” Bold. So foolishly bold of you. You’ll regret it once sober, you’re sure. “Was there a particular reason you summoned me up here, my Lord? I was rather enjoying dancing.”
“I noticed. And I’m taking you home.”
“What—”
Before you can even finish the word, Fin’s gripping your elbow again, and darkness sweeps you away.
Being winnowed while drunk is not a fun experience.
You feel the cosmic, air-light step from one place to another. Your stomach lurches, your head spinning. You can barely get a hold of yourself as you cling to Fin and prepare your feet to touch solid ground.
And then the darkness is gone, and you’re back in the toasty, warm glow of the palace’s library. Your knees buckle, trying to drag you to the floor, but Fin keeps you upright.
“What the…” you gawp up at him. “Why did you bring me home?”
He ensures you’re able to stand on your feet before pushing away from you. Doesn’t even look at you as he commands, “Get to bed.”
“I was enjoying myself.”
“Just as those males were enjoying you, too. You’re drunk and you need to sleep it off. Get to bed.”
He strides towards the door, his knuckles white from how hard he grips the hilt of the sword sheathed at his side. But sword or no, you refuse to give up so easily.
“No,” you say simply. “I will not.”
Fin stops. Goes still. And then he turns back to you.
His temper is clear on his face, but he doesn’t storm back over like you’re half expecting him to. Instead, his eyes shutter, and he seems to take a deep, soothing breath. When he’s looking at you once more, he flicks his wrist in your direction.
And immediately, gone is the haze of the alcohol.
Immediately, you’re completely lucid, completely steady on your feet. Not a lick of inebriation remains, as if you had, indeed, slept it off.
“Did you just sober me up?” you’re outraged by the mere idea.
“Yes.” Fin admits shamelessly. “Now you won’t fall victim to a hangover in the morning — a favour from me, to you, and I ask you in return to get to bed. And don’t even think about trying to venture back out. I’ll know.”
Your blood boils. And the anger isn’t simply because of your ruined fun, but because…because it stings, the way Fin is treating you with such contempt. Scolding you like you’re little more than a petulant child. He’s been nothing but wonderful since you came to Velaris, and yet now, he speaks to you like…like most of the males back in Windhaven do.
It makes you see red.
“What right have you to dictate how I spend my evening?” you snap. “I was under the impression that my free time is my own, and if I wish to go and get drunk and dance like a fool, that is up to me.”
Cold, beautiful anger hardens Fin’s face. He stalks closer, squeezing the hilt of that sword so, so tightly. “What right have I? This is my home. My city. My court. I am your High Lord, and you choose to behave in such a way when I’ve opened my home to you and offered you refuge? When I’ve given you a place to run to and left my resources at your disposal?”
You rock back on the heels of your feet, staring at him. Every word lands a hit — as good as if he’d nocked them in a bow and fired them right at your heart. It stings. Gods, it stings. You want the careless oblivion of the alcohol back.
Because you grapple daily with the pain, the anxiety, of feeling unwanted. And you…you had begun to think that Fin actually cared for you. Actually enjoyed your company as much as you enjoyed his.
You’d begun to care about his thoughts and feelings where you were concerned. And begun to believe that it wasn’t just the hospitality and courtesy that he would dole out to any runt on the street.
His eyes seem to track the way your expression changes, your shoulders slump. You swallow. The anger is replaced, simply, by hurt.
“If I am a burden, my Lord, I apologise,” you rasp. “I don’t intend to be one. I appreciate your generosity, and I…I’m sorry for the trouble I’ve caused.”
You hope you can keep your tears at bay long enough to escape to your room. You’re pelted with shame, embarrassment, hurt. You step forward and hurry past the High Lord, desperate to book it out of there, to get to bed.
But his hand encloses around your wrist, tugging you to a stop. And he says, quietly, “wait.”
That hand on your wrist holds the weight of a thousand unspoken words.
You pin your gaze to the ground, unable to look at Fin. You hear him swallow.
“That isn’t—” his voice is gravelly. “I didn’t mean that.”
You don’t think you can speak. You remain a statue beneath his touch.
But so gently — such a contrast to the whirlwind of his actions before — he’s walking you backwards. Slow and careful. You feel your back hit the wall, and he lets go of your wrist and seems to curl his fists at his sides. There’s a desperation to the action that only then coaxes you to look up at him.
His expression is…pleading. For what, you’re not sure.
“You are the furthest thing from a burden,” he says, quietly, on an exhale. “Your presence here is very much welcomed, I assure you.”
You don’t dare breathe a word. Every last bit of your very sober courage is being thrown into maintaining eye contact. There’s none to spare for speaking.
But your lack of response seems to trouble Fin. His eyes rake over your face, searching for something. He swallows again.
And then his eyes shutter, and he whispers, “Mother above, what are you doing to me?”
You don’t know how to answer him — whether he’s even talking to you at all. He takes in a very slow, very deep breath, as though it’s the only thing that’s stopping him from…doing something. What, you’re not sure.
But you can feel it, sense it — the ferocity with which he’s swallowing down words and holding himself back. Like he wants so badly to say something, but can’t.
His eyes open, clearer than they were seconds before, and he says in a far gentler tone, “Get to bed, Y/N,” he inclines his head. “Sleep well.”
With tense, squared shoulders, he turns — and it’s you, this time, that stops him. You halt him with a hand on his arm, and you could swear you feel the muscles flex under his touch.
“Wait,” you say, not ready to let him go, not prepared to leave things between you like this. “Stay and talk with me for a while.”
His jaw clenches like he’s gritting his teeth. “That isn’t a good idea.”
“Why? We talk all the time, you and I. And there are clearly things you’re holding back from saying—”
Your words are cut short as he suddenly meets your gaze with the intensity of a blazing fire. You think it might burn you. You hope it will.
“It’s a bad idea,” he grounds out, gutturally, “not because of what I want to say. But because of what I want to do.”
“What—”
“You are my son’s close friend. You are Roza’s guest,” he tugs his arm out from under your hand. “You are far younger than I am. I am trying my hardest — I have been trying my hardest — to be a good male. And right now, a good male would take his leave and go to bed, so I bid you goodnight, Y/N.”
“Fin—”
“I hope you sleep well.”
“Fin,” you grab for him again. “What if I don’t want you to be a good male?”
Beneath your touch, he stops. Goes preternaturally still.
Words punch out of you with terrifying gall — and truth. “What if I want you to do those things—”
Quick as a flash, he’s pivoting, and he has the upper hand. Has you pressed so tightly up against the wall, his body boxing you in.
And gods, the feel of it might set you on fire. A brush of your hands, a kiss on the backs of your fingers — they’re nothing compared to the weight and press of his muscles against your body. You want your clothes to melt away, and his, too. You want your hands on his bare, hot skin.
“I don’t think you realise what you’re saying,” he growls.
“I do,” you breathe. “I am completely sober. Completely clear of mind. And I am telling you, Fin, I want you—”
A strangled noise is the only warning you get before the High Lord’s mouth is on yours.
The kiss is pure power. It passes from him, into you, roils through your veins and makes you feel like somebody remarkable. It’s the cloak of darkness and the kiss of sin. Of somebody capable of very, very bad things.
And it’s immediately addicting. You’re not sure you’ll ever be able to get enough.
You claw at his shirt, tugging him closer, closer, and his broad hands cup your face as his mouth devours yours.
This kiss…it’s been building. The need for it has been working its way beneath your skin for a while. All the heated glances, the late-night conversations. All the thoughts, in the dead of night, of what Fin might be doing in his own bed. Wondering whether he was thinking of you.
It’s so, so forbidden. So wrong. But it feels so godsdamn right.
And the way Fin’s tongue slides between your lips and strokes into your mouth — it tells you that he feels it, too.
Your hands glide from his waist, round to his back, and you yank him harder against you. So desperate are you to feel him. Feel what you think you do to him.
He makes another low noise. And then he’s tearing his mouth from yours. But he lingers close, your foreheads touching.
“Better than I’ve been imagining,” he pants, his hands still clutching your face. “Much better.”
“You’ve imagined kissing me?” You know he has.
“I have imagined,” his thumbs sweep your cheeks, “doing all sorts of things with you, Y/N. Things that would make even the most salacious of a person blush.”
Such a relief — to know that it’s not all just some wild fantasy you’ve cooked up in your mind. That you’re not just some wayward, longing young female who craves the affections of an older male to patch her deep wounds.
No, it’s not that. It’s desire. It’s need. And it burns inside your veins until you think you might erupt into flames.
“I’ve imagined them, too,” you say, without a lick of shame.
Once again, his eyes are shuttering. Once again, he takes that slow, steadying breath. And as you watch him do so, you can’t bear the thought of him still grappling with right and wrong. You can’t bear the thought of him squaring his shoulders and walking out of here, leaving your lips bruised, your body aching, your heart hurting. You can’t bear it—
“I want you to do those things,” you lift your chin, gaze unflinching. “I want you to touch me.”
Fin’s eyes reopen.
He stares at you.
His throat bobs.
You have never seen somebody look so wild, so ravenous. There is heat everywhere, in his stare and in his taut body. His eyes flick down to your lips.
That mere glance at them is the deciding factor, it would seem.
He growls, the sound not at all one you’ve ever heard from a person, and he yanks you up into his arms and kisses you again.
So naturally, your arms twine around his neck, your legs locking around his waist. You can feel the strength of him against you, in the way he holds you. You can taste his crackling power.
He doesn’t falter in the kiss nor his steps as he carries you away from the wall, and you’re suddenly being placed down on the library’s desk, sending books and parchment and pens and ink pots flying. They all clatter loudly to the floor, and neither of you care.
But Fin does pull away to look at you, and there’s wicked, boyish charm in his eyes as the corners of his mouth twitch up. He merely says, “Oops.”
You surge up and kiss him again.
He sighs into it, like your mouth is the answer to all his questions. And when heated hands land on your thighs, you part them, allow him to slot his body in between. The mere feel of it has you pushing up against him, finding him hard—
But again, he pulls away. He scans your face and rasps, “Tell me you’re sure.”
You do not balk from his intensity. From the fact that this is the fucking High Lord of your court, who was changing this world and building a reputation long before you were a mere thought in your parents’ minds. You do not balk from the fact that there are a million different reasons that this is wrong.
You think only about the fact that it feels right.
And that translates into your voice as you say, firmly, “I’m sure.”
You think you see the words course through his body. They change something — forever.
“This isn’t about Roza,” he breathes — breathes heavily, like it’s taking everything to tamp down on the desire to devour you then and there. To say what needs to be said.
You shake your head, “No.”
“Nor is it about Rhysand.”
“No.”
“It’s about me and you.” He destroys what little gap exists between your bodies, his hardness pushing through his breeches, right up against your centre. His hands brace on the desk, either side of you. “And gods, I want you, Y/N. I want you so much, I can scarcely bear it.”
“Have me,” is all you manage — before he strikes.
You think, hope, that his mouth might find yours again — but he’s barely brushing it before his lips settle on your jaw. His hands travel up your legs, fingers biting into the flesh. They find your hips, thumbs delivering explorative sweeps. They tug your dress up as they climb, exposing more of you to the warmth of the room. Exposing more skin that you know he wants to lay claim to.
And when the hem of your dress is ruched around your waist, you smile — at your little wildcard exposed. That he finds no underwear hiding what sits between your legs.
Your choice to forgo a pair seems almost foretelling, now — like some part of you knew the night would end like this, and you wanted to be ready.
Fin’s eyes dip to your slick, exposed cunt. The hunger in them is almost intimidating. You open your legs just a little wider—
But his rough hand is gripping your chin, almost hard enough to hurt. And he snarls deeply, “It drove me to madness — seeing those two males dancing with you. Touching you.”
Pleasure bolts down your spine, and from the way his nostrils flare, you know the scent of your arousal is consuming him.
“Did it?” you stare back at him, welcoming the discomfort of his brutal grip.
“I wanted them dead. I wanted to draw my sword and gut them for even looking your way. For touching what I want to be mine.”
That pleasure again — skittering over your skin. His words do something to you. You bite down on a moan.
“It is yours,” you tilt your chin up to him, smiling when he immediately glances to your lips. “Take it.”
“I warn you,” he lowers his face to yours, “I don’t like to share.”
“And I warn you, High Lord,” you watch as your words land, drawing a deep, raw scent from him. “Neither do I.”
With a growl, he snaps. The kiss he gives you is not slow or sweet. His hand continues to grip your face, and his mouth attacks yours, his tongue sliding between your lips. You can’t help your moan, this time, as his taste overpowers you — a taste that you can only describe as pure thunder.
But it ends too soon, as he begins to leave a trail of heated kisses and bites and sucks along your jaw, down your neck, your collarbones. Your head falls back, and the touches are like little zips of lightning — lightning cleaving through the night sky.
“Pretty dress,” he hums against your skin — and that’s all the warning you get before that dress is ripped apart. Torn to ribbons.
No part of you is left to Fin’s imagination.
He tears his mouth from you and steps back to drink you in.
Instinct roars at you to curl in on yourself and hide. To remember that you are scarred, and flawed, and not to the liking of many — including yourself, a lot of the time.
But something about Fin’s weighty, scorching stare stops you from moving a muscle.
You lift your chin and hide nothing as he takes his fill. His eyes travel a journey from the top of your head and down — down your face, your neck, your breasts. Down your stomach, your waist, your hips. Down to that fine dusting of hair on your pelvis that tracks a thin path to—
Fin drops to his knees with a low noise. His hands wrap around your legs and prise them further apart.
“You’re fucking perfect,” he levels his face with the very centre of you, and your breath hitches in your throat at the sight.
The sight of the High Lord on his knees before you — on his knees for you.
As though he senses the direction of your thoughts, his eyes flick up, and he smiles.
And then he dives in.
His tongue wastes no time in sinking between your folds, licking a broad stripe right up the centre of you. At the first stroke, your head falls back, your arms wobbling where they’re braced on the desk.
“Look at me,” Fin growls. “Only me.”
His voice of pure High Lord power drags your eyes back to him. And thank the fucking Mother it does.
You see everything in the way he feasts on you. His tongue laps at your wetness, and it coats his lips, his chin, coats him in you. The damp heat of his tongue is liquid fire. It promises to scorch you, end you, and rise you anew like a phoenix from the ashes.
Your fingers sink into the strands of Fin’s hair and tug. Judging by the noise he makes, the way his pace picks up, you think he likes it.
He utterly fucking devours you, like he’s fought a centuries-long wait to do so. And whatever magic commands his mouth — you know you cannot possibly last against it.
“Oh, gods,” your moan breaks from you, hips bucking up. You think your voice might be loud, but you don’t care. “Fuck—Fin.”
It all happens at once — his name falling from your lips, the growl rumbling in his throat, the flicking of his tongue against your clit and the finger he plunges into you, curls inside you. Every part of it is lightning strikes to your veins, and you come apart, utterly break.
Your climax slams into you and steals your breath. You’re nothing but a gasping, panting, trembling shell. Your mind is somewhere else entirely.
With your head falling back, eyes pinned to the ceiling, chest heaving, you don’t catch the swiftness with which Fin stands, licking your wetness from his lips. With which his clothes are gone in a blink of an eye.
But then he commands, “Look at me.”
It’s the second time he’s said it. Your head lolls forward once more.
You swallow the breaths you’re still trying to get down. Try to stop your body fucking shaking.
But it’s no wonder it does, as you look at him.
Your High Lord is nothing short of exquisite. He is art. Your fantasies have done him no justice.
That golden skin of his seems to attract the glowing light of the room. It bathes him, but it does not steal the attention. It outlines every fine plane of his body, the sculpted muscles on show, the nicks of injuries that have scarred and silvered over time.
There is not a single part of him that isn’t pure, refined power. And when your gaze drops to below his waist…a shudder wracks through you.
His cock stands hard and leaking at the head. You watch, your mouth watering, as he wraps a hand around its length and gives a long stroke.
“Fin—”
“When you look at me like that,” he prowls closer, “there is no way I can consider this forbidden.”
He’s within reach. Your fingers inch towards him. You want to touch him, taste him—
But he curls a hand around yours and stops you in your tracks.
“Not tonight,” he says. Pure promise is laced within the words. “No playing tonight.”
As if he hadn’t just played with you. You want to protest, to get your fucking mouth around that considerable length, but his hand tightens around yours.
And then he’s flipping you over, so fast that you don’t have time to even register it. You land on your front, your belly and breasts pressed against the desk. Fin lays his palm against your back and drags it slowly down. And in the wake of his touch, he leaves kisses. Kisses to your shoulder, your back. They’re…soft. Tender.
“Have I disappointed you?” he murmurs against your shoulder, folding his body over yours. You don’t think it’s an accident that the head of his cock nudges that sweet area between your legs.
It’s all you can do to breathe, “I wanted to taste you.”
“And you will,” he drops the brush of a kiss to your skin. “But now is not time for that.”
You don’t need him to tell you what now is the time for. Not as his hands find the flesh of your hips, and he yanks you to the very edge of the desk, moving with you. The feel of him so close to where you want him is downright cruel.
“Have you thought about me fucking you?” he asks, those hands travelling to rove your ass.
Your nails bite into the desk as you answer, “Yes.”
“Did I make you scream?”
You bite down on your lip at the feeling of him spreading you apart, opening you up to him. “Yes.”
You feel it — his cock sliding between your folds. Not pushing in, but dragging torturously against your sex. From your entrance, up to your clit. The head of his cock pushes against it.
And the moan that rips from you is downright filth, as he rolls his hips and allows your wetness to slicken his length. It feels so fucking good. To you, and to him.
A breath shudders out of him, and he purrs, “Are you going to scream for me now?”
“Fuck yes,” the words tumble from your lips. “I want you, Fin.”
Just like that, his restraint snaps. The High Lord strikes.
He drags his length through your folds and enters you with a single, powerful thrust.
A shout leaves you, and you’re clawing at the desk, trying to keep your grip against the pleasure that courses through you. Fin fills you and stretches you. He pulls out and slams back in to the hilt.
“Fuck me, you’re tight,” he growls, his hands sinking back into your hips. He begins a steady thrusting, sliding in and out of you with a drag that makes you feel every glorious inch of him. “Gods.”
“So good,” you pant. “Want you harder.”
The plea seems to make him groan, and he wastes no time in picking up the pace. His hands bite into your skin as he fucks you faster, harder, your moans and pleas and curses falling from your lips without any nudging from you. The pleasure is all-consuming. In seconds, it’s buried within your veins.
“You like that?” The grit in his voice has you clenching around him. He’s so fucking filthy, so fucking sultry, as he snarls, “you going to be a good girl and come for me?”
Gods, yes, you are. Already, release is coiling tightly within you, and it’s a force entirely of its own right, inching closer and cresting the hill, ready to sink its claws into you. Fin’s cock hits deep, and out of nowhere, his palm is flying through the air and making contact with your ass cheek. That is all it takes.
The pleasure of it all is too much — the sting of the slap, the depth and thrall of his thrusts, the way he growls and grunts as he lays claim to your body, your pleasure.
You cry out, your orgasm blasting through you with unstoppable force. The long strokes of Fin’s cock fuck you through it, through earth-shattering pleasure, through what feels like a mind-altering experience.
“My filthy girl,” he pulls out of you suddenly, and though your cunt still clenches and twitches, desperate for more, more, more, he flips your trembling body onto its back once more and tugs you up, slipping back between your legs. “Fuck, I can’t tell you how relentlessly I’ve thought about making you scream for me like that.”
Past words, you can only reach up and pull his head down to yours to capture him in a kiss. Your taste still coats the tongue that he slides between your lips. It spurs you on to deepen it, luxuriate in the feel of it. And you become so lost in it that you tug hard at the strands of his hair when he enters you again in one great, sweeping thrust.
His arm folds around your back, hand grasping at your shoulder, and it seems to afford him perfect purchase to pound into you. Sounds fill the air of his skin slapping against yours, of the breaths and moans you huff into each other’s mouths. You think the two of you, together, might be loud enough, forceful enough, to bring the City of Starlight to rubble around you.
Fin’s lips tear away from yours, and he buries his face into the crook of your neck. His thrusts are growing quicker, sloppier, reaching a feverous pinnacle that will surely break.
“Fuck, you’re going to make me come, Y/N,” his sweat-slick brow presses against your neck. “Taking me so well like this. Squeezing me like this. You’re going to make me fucking blow.”
You want that — more than anything. To feel the power of him spilling into you.
You squeeze your thighs against his, dragging your free hand — the one not sunken in his hair — down the muscles of his shoulders, his back, his waist — to his ass, where you dig your nails into the tight, toned flesh and encourage him to pump into you harder, faster. The feel of it makes Fin shout.
“Come for me,” you choke around your pleasure. “Please, Fin…want you to come.”
An animalistic growl rips from him, and he slams into you one, two, three more times, and then stills, throwing his head back with a roar that shakes the library. Hot, thick ropes of his seed seem endless as they’re unleashed inside you.
The force of it shatters you both, you think. With his trembling as thorough as yours, your nails are still raking over his skin as his brow presses to the crook of your neck. Strands of hair stick to the back of his. Your fingertips smooth over them tenderly.
It feels like eons that you stay there like that, holding each other up from collapsing under the weight of your mutual release. You want to hold him like this, always. You don’t care what others may have to say about it, what they may deem to be wrong about it. You want him.
He pulls back, as though sensing the thought. Meets your eyes. For a beat or two, he simply studies your face, something like clarity on his own.
And then he dips down and drops a kiss to your brow. Such a tender act, in the wake of such passion.
 No words are needed. Not as he scoops you up into his arms, leaving behind the mess the two of you have created. There’s a flash, and he’s winnowed you to your bedroom. A fire roars to life immediately. Fin places you down on the bed.
You watch through hooded eyes as he makes his way into the bathroom. Moments later, he’s returning with a warm, damp washcloth, and he perches beside you.
“Open your legs for me,” he whispers, and you do.
The High Lord of the Night Court is gentle as air as he takes care of you, wiping between your thighs and delivering soft, soothing strokes to your skin. A pleasant soreness sits in your lower belly. He leans down and presses a kiss there like he knows just that.
And then he’s sitting up, and it frightens you — the thought of him walking away, of this ending here and now.
So you lay a hand on his arm, breathing, “Stay with me.”
He pauses, eyes roaming your face like he’s assuring himself you mean it. And then he dips his chin.
“I would be honoured,” he rasps.
And thus, the affair begins.
✧: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚
The need you and Fin have for each other is…insatiable.
Every moment he’s away, you’re thinking of him, longing for the moment he’ll appear in your room and rip your clothes off. If anyone else in the palace — staff, servants, associates — are aware of what’s going on, they don’t give it away. And that suits you just fine.
You can’t get enough. You’re giddy with it. Giddy from the multiple, interesting circumstances you’ve landed yourself in.
Like when you lured him out of a meeting and dropped to your knees in a fucking broom closet, taking his cock into your mouth until he was canting his hips forward and spilling down your throat. Or when he fucked you on the balcony of his personal quarters, your body pressed up against the balustrade, the two of you open to the elements and your moans loud enough to reach the stars above you and the city below you. Or when he took you to watch the ballet, and up in the cushy surrounds of your private viewing box, you watched the performance with him deep inside you, his fingers indolently playing with your clit, his low voice in your ear reminding you to keep quiet.
It’s…exciting. Enthralling. It changes everything.
And as he pulls out of you now, sweaty and panting, and collapses beside you in his bed, you’re not sure you could ever tire of this feeling.
He wants you. He wants you so ferociously, like nobody has ever wanted you before.
As you catch your breaths, he props his head up with his hand and stares at you through hooded eyes, glazed with lust. He leans down and grazes a kiss to your mouth.
“I don’t know how to make it stop,” he ponders as he pulls back, moving a hand to brush his fingers over your breast. “All this need — wanting you constantly.”
You lean up on your elbows, tilting your head, “Do you want it to stop?”
“No,” he shakes his head. “Never.”
Never. Never is a very long time. It makes your stomach flip — the enormity of it.
Fin circles the tip of his forefinger around your pebbled nipple, watching with predatory fascination as he adds, “But this will, inevitably, blow up in our faces at some point. We haven’t exactly been secretive — not that I want to be. But people will talk.”
You lean up to brush your mouth over his. “Let them talk,” you say, and kiss him.
Immediately, he melts into the kiss. Your mouth seems to have an effect on him that you never thought yourself capable of. Always draws a long, pleasured sigh from him as he sinks into it, welcomes it.
He kisses you and kisses you, so greedily, so desperately. His hand snakes up to cup your cheek. He’s already hardening against your leg.
But he pulls away, dropping his forehead against yours. And he breathes, “Make a bargain with me.”
You trace a thumb over his bottom lip. You’ve never made a Night Court bargain before; never had reason to. “What bargain?”
“When this blows up in our faces,” he grips your hand, folding his own over it, “we face it together. You and I.”
“You and I?”
“You and I” he kisses your hand. “I don’t claim to be perfect. I don’t try to be. I can be brutal and callous, and I can lie and play games,” another kiss. “But not with you. Never with you. I will look after you. Take care of you. I’ll be whatever you need me to be.”
Words that you’ve always longed for someone to say to you. Words that should not be taken lightly, should not be said without meaning.
But you know he means them. You can tell he does.
You watch closely as your fingers interlace with his. And you whisper, “Together?”
Fin’s thumb sweeps over yours. “Together. We’ll face it together.”
“Then it’s a bargain.”
A flash of splintering pain zips around your midriff. You glance down to find the tattoo now inked there. The black line that draws a perfect circle around your waist, like a trail of night-kissed lightning.
You look up at Fin to find a roguish smile playing on his lips.
“Oh, I like that,” he hums.
And then he’s leaning down and pressing kisses to that circlet signifying your promise to one another. Kisses the entirety of it, flipping you on your front in the process.
And kisses lower, until you’re screaming for him again.
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rhenysz · 3 months
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hiiii!!! I love your story “Your Dead Eyes” I was wondering when the next chapter would be out? (obviously no pressure I was just curious, you can totally ignore this if you want) ❤️
hey sweetie! I'm halfway through the chapter buuut the dreaded creative block got me. I'll try my best to finish writing this weekend 😫🙏🏻
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rhenysz · 3 months
Text
chapter 248 spoilers
I love that Sukuna finally voiced what I've been saying all this time. Yuuji has the strongest soul in JJK, no one compares. It was clear that Yuuji bothers Sukuna a lot and finally Sukuna explained why.
I really like how Gege is stressing that only Yuuji has a true connection to Sukuna, none of these other people matter to him.
People who don't care about anything but themselves or their immediate social group, really can't stand those who care, those who believe in something. Yuuji is the first true mirror Sukuna has ever encountered, one that reflects to Sukuna the hollowness of his soul.
Sukuna felt nothing when he killed Gojou because Gojou was as hollow as him. Gojou's ideals were only words, not followed through with anything and he abandoned them for the thrill of the fight with Sukuna. Kashimo never pretended to stand for anything and thus they also meant nothing to Sukuna.
Higuruma stood for something, Sukuna was there when he talked to Yuuji. Higuruma did get lost but in the end he remembered that he stood for something.
And Higuruma, like Yuuji, used to be a normie not so long ago. His progress is indeed impressive.
And look who Sukuna recalls when he feels sad about Higuruma dying (he's not there yet to acknowledge that he's sad he killed someone XD), he recalls Jougo. The last person he'd killed who actually stood for something.
I wish the fandom understood that the way that the themes of JJK go, Gojou could've never killed Sukuna. He was of the same ilk as Sukuna, equally hollow living only seeking his own entertainment, probably even more arrogant than Sukuna, but less talented and extremely reckless. And Gojou was partially in denial, he pretended that his ideals mattered to him, that they weren't a band-aid put on the gaping hole that was his soul.
Sukuna actually cares about killing Yuuji, he cares about getting rid of that mirror that exposes him to himself. Makes him see how lacking he is. None of the others showed him any of that. Gojou and Kashim fought him for the title of the strongest, Yorozu for a prestigious marriage. They all wanted the status associated with Sukuna.
And Yuuji never cared about that, he talked back to Sukuna, called him out on his bull shit. And to Yuuji strength is worthless in itself, it matters if it can be used to help someone.
There's a lot of people like Sukuna nowadays, you see them everywhere online. People who will go out of their way to mock others for caring about anything because they are unsettled by the mere motion that someone can be invested in something. And because it makes them feel bad. If they were truly fully content in their hedonistic and/or nihilistic existence they wouldn't care how others feel or what others do. Like them, Sukuna suspects that maybe the lives of those who care about something are more satisfying.
It took Yuuji for Sukuna to even realise that he could grow as a person.
I love how they mutually ruin each other's lives. Gege really intertwined them nicely.
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rhenysz · 3 months
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🫠🔫 I haven't forgotten about YDE, but I have less time to write because of my studies. If everything goes smoothly, there will be a new chapter this week.
By the way, any guesses why Azriel got so interested in our Reader? It's not what most people imagine 💀
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rhenysz · 4 months
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Hi! Could I request Azriel who’s mated to the youngest Archeron sister who loves their human traditions. Az finds her celebrating alone despite a whole party being set up, and learns she feels forced to attend solstice or starfall, maybe Rhys even scares her into it a bit, but when she worked hard to set up parties on human holidays, but her sisters always choose starfall? And she feels they force her to adapt to fae traditions while not even her sisters, let alone the others, even acknowledge human holidays, even though feyre said she considers both worlds her home. One that ends in a confrontation with angst would be nice, but happy ending or not is up to you, thanks.
I could have made a small series out of this ask and I really and truly enjoyed writing it. I had intended on a happy ending but this is pushing 5k words and would have taken a lot more for it. I hope it was along the lines of what you wanted!
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Cause and Effect
From the moment that you were shoved in the cauldron, your life had changed to the point that you weren’t sure what to do. It had hurt that your own sister hadn’t bothered to stop what had happened to you, Nesta, and Elain but you understood since her friend was injured. Being the youngest of all of the Archeron sisters meant that you were always looked over. Nesta had always been worried about Elain and even though you were only a year younger than Feyre, it never made any difference. 
You had always felt horrible that Feyre was the one responsible for keeping all of you fed but your sister refused to let you go with her when she hunted. There had always been an urge to help and try to make things better but as always, you were shoved to the back burner. Most human holidays were forgotten but for some reason, you remembered one in particular. No matter the fact that you tried each year to celebrate it, you were either scoffed at or told that it didn’t matter.
It was something that you held close to your heart because it brought you joy and you wanted it to do the same for your father and sisters. You were different from them in the sense that you wanted to do nothing but spread love and joy but everyone around you was too miserable to care. 
The fae had their own traditions in separate courts you had learned but that piece of you that loved your holiday felt as if it were slowly dying. It had hurt your heart to see Feyre go back to the original court that she had once wanted to go to but you stayed silent and a few feet away from your other two older sisters. Mor had all three of you in an instant as soon as she was able to and took the three of you to a home that you were unfamiliar with.
Your thoughts would linger on the injured males that had been bleeding out in Hybern’s castle as you moved between Nesta and Elain so that you weren’t alone for the three hours that passed. Neither paid you any attention which only added to the hurt. It had been a traumatizing situation for the three of you and you were all trying to cope in your own ways. It didn’t stop the fact that you wished someone would pay you some attention for once in your life. 
Mor had come back to check on all of you after a few hours and she had been the first one in years to show you some genuine kindness. She led you to a room that you would be able to call your own so that you could find your own way to cope. Once she left, giving you a small smile before she did so, you took a moment to admire where you were. The room was huge considering what you had been used to with the bed being just as big. The balcony was what caught your attention the most and you knew that you would spend the most of your time there.
You found yourself enamored with the house that you learned was called the House of Wind. Mor had been the only one that had visited over the course of two days and you reveled in the attention that you were getting, even if it wasn’t a lot. On the third day, one of the males that had been injured returned to the House to see how the three of you were doing. You were instantly entranced with how handsome that he was, especially when he gave you a gentle smile. His eyes went wide when you smiled brightly at him and he stumbled a step as if he were in shock.
**
Azriel had been concerned about the three of his High Lady’s sisters so as soon as he was healed, he made his way up to the House. Only the youngest of the sisters could be seen since she had just finished eating. As soon as their eyes met, he was unable to resist the small smile that he had given you. It wasn’t until you gave him a genuine smile that shock overtook him. The warmth of a golden thread spread through him and it was all that he could do to regain his composure.
“How are you doing?” he asked in a gentle voice as he restrained himself from touching you. 
“I’m still trying to adjust and learn what all of this means,” you answered honestly as you looked around the dining room. “It’s sort of disorienting.”
“I can only imagine.” You gave him another bright smile at his words when your attention turned back to him. “I have faith in you though.”
A small smile replaced your bright, genuine one and he wanted nothing more than to make it return even though he wasn’t sure how. The only thing that he knew was that you were his mate and he wanted to follow you around like a love-sick puppy. Throughout his eleven years of living in a cell, all that he dreamed about was having someone that loved him unconditionally and to love them in return. Even though he knew that mating bonds didn’t always work out, your smile that seemed to show a genuine kind heart had him hoping that it wouldn’t be the case. When a slight frown formed on his face was when your entire mood visibly shifted and it was all that he could feel in the air around the two of you.
“I never saw you when we went to visit your sisters,” he mused quietly, realizing also that you had never been mentioned.
“I was in my room. I didn’t- ” you sighed, your eyes glossing over in the process. “Nevermind. It’s not important.”
“I think it is.” He did his best to keep the curiosity and the hint of anger from his tone. “You shouldn’t have been excluded.”
“It was my choice.” You gave him a sad smile while his heart hurt at your tear lined eyes. “I wasn't.. It’s not really worth sharing.”
“I think-”
“What are you doing?”
Nesta’s voice from the doorway had the both of you turning to look at her, her face etched into pure anger. It had you stiffening up in front of him and it had him rising to his full height while his wings tried to flare in his protective state for you. Your older sister did nothing but continue to glare at the both of you before you sighed quietly while hanging your head and shaking it slightly.
“We were just tal-”
“You don’t need to talk to her,” Nesta snapped. “She has us. Stay away from her.”
You glanced back at him with apologetic eyes before walking away from him but he noticed that you went in a completely different direction than your sister did. He almost followed you but decided against it in hopes that it would help you cope a bit better.
**
“Good morning,” you mumbled sleepily, still in your pajamas, when you entered the dining room with the male from the day before and Mor sitting at the table.
“Good morning,” Mor replied with a small smile. “We weren’t expecting you to be up so early.”
“I do rise early sometimes,” you chuckled as you took a seat beside her with the male sitting across from you. “But everything.. It’s hard to sleep now.”
“That’s completely understandable.” Mor rubbed your arm for a moment in a comforting manner. “We’re glad that you are out here with us.”
You gave her a small but sad smile, unsure of what to say. It was obvious that none of them knew about you and even though it hurt, you did your best not to show it. Feyre had mentioned to you once that the food here was delicious and now that you had a taste, you weren’t sure if you could ever go back to normal human food. The thought had you returning to the day that you had been forced into the cauldron and realized that you didn’t know anyone’s name and most importantly, how they all were doing after injuries.
“You were hurt.” You locked eyes with the hazel ones across from you. “And your friend-”
“We’re alright,” he assured, causing you to slump in relief into your seat. “Cassian’s wings are healing as we speak.”
“I’m so glad.” You gave him a bright smile before gazing at his wings momentarily. “I can’t imagine how much pain that you were in. I feel horrible that I didn’t even think to ask you last night.”
“It’s okay.” He gave you another genuine, small smile that earned a near silent gasp from the female beside her. “You have been through more than any of us can imagine.”
“I don’t even know your names,” you mumbled, choosing to ignore his reassurance since you were trying to avoid the thoughts of your own.
“You’ve met Mor.” He gestured towards the female beside you who simply rolled her eyes. “Cassian, as I said, was the one that was injured as well and Rhysand is our High Lord of the Night Court.”
“Oh.” It was hard to keep your mind from the horrible memories, the thoughts making your heart hurt even more now that you knew their names. “Have you heard from Feyre?”
“She will be alright and will be back as soon as she can,” Mor answered confidently. 
Your sister had obviously thrived since she had become High Fae and you couldn’t help but wonder if you or your other sisters would be able to do it as well even though you didn’t have much of a choice. A part of you wanted to adjust but at the same time, you were terrified of the life that you had been forced into. You were at least trying to be friendly even though Elain still refused to speak and Nesta was being her usual angry self.
You weren’t sure how to feel with everything that was going on around you but your mind began to drift back to your human life. Your favorite holiday would be arriving in a few months and you hoped that it would be something that would be accepted for the first time. Remembering that you didn’t know the male’s name, you raised an eyebrow at him.
“Are you stingy with your name?” 
“No,” he chuckled, amusement dancing in his eyes. “I’m Azriel.”
“Azriel,” you repeated, finding that you liked how it rolled so simply off of your tongue.
He seemed to like it as well due to the smile tugging at his lips but you chose to ignore it, opting to eat what you could. You could feel his gaze on you and noticed it for yourself when you glanced from your peripheral as Mor began to tell you what Velaris had to offer.
“It sounds beautiful,” you sighed in awe.
“I could take you.” Your eyes met Azriel’s, noting that his expression was neutral even though you felt like he deeply wanted you to agree. “The city is meant to be seen at night.”
“I would expect nothing less from The City of Starlight,” you laughed, noting an emotion in his eyes that you couldn’t place.
With a nod in a silent goodbye, you went to find your sisters who were where you thought they would be. Elain was still staring out of the window with a blank stare and Nesta was in a chair in the room with her reading a book. Your oldest sister’s blank stare fell on you and since it made you feel unwelcome, you quickly left and opted to spend your day in your room. The feeling of loneliness was nothing new but it hurt even worse with the circumstances that were beginning to feel impossible to sort through. 
As the day came to a close, you searched through the new wardrobe in hopes of finding something suitable. It was as if Mor knew of your struggle because she was flitting into the room as the afternoon was coming to a close. Her help was more than welcomed since you didn’t know how to dress up for anything at all. She chose a gorgeous blue dress and fixed your hair into loose curls. It was the prettiest that you had ever felt. Azriel’s face softened when you entered the dining room where he was waiting and he guided you to the balcony.
“The House is warded against winnowing so we will have to fly,” he started gently, watching you with nearly invisible caution. “There is always the option of the ten thousand steps to the city but that would ruin your beautiful dress.”
“I’ve never flown before.” It was hard to speak and keep the shock from the simple word from your tone before eyeing his wings. “It sounds scary.”
“I promise not to drop you,” he chuckled, the noise almost inaudible.
You nodded your head and nearly gasped when he picked you up gently, the feeling contradicting his size and obvious muscles. The flight down wasn’t as scary as you expected and you knew that Azriel was doing his best to keep you comfortable. He landed you both down next to what he called the Sidra and you couldn’t help but admire the sight. Azriel followed suit when you leaned against the railing and it was then that you noticed the blue stone on the top of his hand. Your attention turned to the scars and your heart immediately ached for him.
“They are siphons,” he explained to your silent question but stiffened when you placed your hand over his and ran a thumb over his scars. 
“It’s beautiful,” you whispered, admiring how the kind male beside you had turned out that way despite the obvious trauma that he went through before giving him a soft smile. “Oh, your siphons are too.”
He smiled brightly, the sight taking your breath away in the process. You couldn’t help but return it before he placed a hand on your lower back and guided you further into the city. Amazement of the sights sent your heart fluttering and then it warmed when Azriel let you slip your hand into his. 
**
Azriel couldn’t keep his disbelief hidden from himself when it was obvious to see that you deeply enjoyed his company. It seemed that you always found a way to gravitate towards him and a piece of him wondered if it was the unknown mating bond or if you were truly that attention starved. He always silently observed every interaction possible between you and your sisters but each one was short lived. It hurt his own heart for you since he knew what it was like to be shunned by your own family. 
He had a day planned in the city with you when Rhys called him away to help Cassian retrieve Feyre. Even though you knew nothing, you were genuinely understanding and it only made him love you more for it. His heart only hurt worse when they returned with Feyre and you were barely acknowledged. He bristled when you glanced at his High Lord with a hint of fear radiating off of you. When tears lined your eyes, he couldn’t stop himself from pulling you into an empty hallway to pull you into his arms.
You melted in his embrace and silently cried for less than a handful of minutes before pulling away and wiping your eyes. If he hadn’t needed to watch Lucien, he would have taken you right then and there out to the city in hopes of lightening your mood and bringing the smile back to your face that he desperately wanted to see.
“My favorite human holiday is coming up next week,” you muttered before leaning against the wall behind you. “I wonder if they’ll celebrate it with me.”
“I would be more than happy to help with anything that you need,” he replied quietly before his heart clenched at the sight of your small smile. 
The day before the holiday, he had followed you into the city to get all of the decorations that you needed. Between the shopping that he usually didn’t enjoy doing and helping you set everything up the next morning, he was happier than he had been in a long time. Any amount of time that he got with you was highly cherished and it always seemed that you felt the same. His heart dropped at your frown when his brothers and Feyre returned. The slight scent of your fear again had him bristling but forced himself to keep his face unreadable as he watched.
“I thought that we could actually celebrate now,” you said hopefully to the High Lady. “Maybe make things feel a little more like home in a way.”
“We didn’t want to do your holiday back then and we really don’t now.”
Nesta’s words when she entered the dining room had him glaring at her when tears filled your eyes. He nearly growled in his protective nature at the sight of your oldest sister who wasn’t phased by the sight that always had his stomach turning. She left with a scoff and roll of her eyes before disappearing again. It wasn’t until Feyre gave you a half hearted apologetic smile and disappeared after Nesta did you finally run to your room.
A glare at his High Lord who knew about the bond only had him seeing red when Rhysand simply shrugged and followed after his own mate.
**
Your time with Azriel became less and less the closer that the war came. Despite taking Cassian up on his offer to train, you weren’t anywhere near close to trying to go up against the simplest of opponents. Azriel always appeared proud that you had agreed to learn to defend yourself if need be. There was always an emotion in his eyes that you could never place when your eyes met but what you did know was that you were falling in love with him. 
Even though you were worried about Elain when she was kidnapped, you couldn’t stop the hurt that hit you when you saw her in his arms. Your relief for your sister’s safety quickly changed into horror when you saw the injuries that he had received. You followed behind him quietly and stayed out of the way while he was tended to by Thesan. He would lock eyes with you every so often and give you a reassuring smile that had a tug in your heart pulling towards him.
Azriel stayed with you in your tent that night but even him holding you close against him did nothing to help you sleep. Your worry and fear ate at you about the war that would be taking place kept your heart and mind racing. Standing at the edge of the battlefield with Feyre’s new family and your sisters did nothing but refuel your terror. Hurt coursed through you to see the male that you had fallen in love with hand his dagger to Elain. You knew that you wouldn’t be anywhere near the fight as instructed.
“We will get through this,” Azriel whispered in a low voice that only you could hear when he returned to your side.
You gave a short hum in agreement but stepped away from him as heartbreak continued to swirl within you. With the shortest glance at the shadowsinger, you saw confusion and something akin to hurt on his face before he faced the battle beginning ahead of them. All that you could do was watch with tears streaming down your face and your own sobs escaping you when Feyre's pained screaming met you when it was all over.
You already knew what had happened and since you were all alone, you let yourself fall apart in the place that you had been left at and let yourself grieve for your sister. There was absolutely nothing that you could do to help anyone or anything but you had become used to it at this point in your life. Since there weren’t any other options for you, you disappeared into your tent, continuing to cry. You weren’t sure how much time had gone by before you heard the tent flaps move to find Feyre looking at you with tear-filled eyes.
“I’m so, so sorry,” she whispered as she began to cry and the pain in her eyes and on her face had your heart dropping. “Father- He-”
You already knew what she meant since you had seen his ships and you simply turned your back to her. A soft, pained sigh left your sister before she reluctantly left and your heart hurt even more at the fact that you didn’t know anything at all. You had truly been forgotten by everyone. All that you wanted was to be alone to try to sort through your emotions. It was already hard enough with the struggle that you were having with adjusting to your new life as High Fae but this added pain was too much.
Once you were finally able to return home, you secluded yourself into a room in the townhouse while everyone else gathered around. You wanted nothing to do with any of them but you were stuck in the court that you didn’t want to be in. Time passed in a blur and you even refused to be around Azriel despite his pained features when you told him to go away. The comfort that you had once felt around him had dissipated when you noticed his visible worry for Elain. You couldn’t blame him  because your sister had always been the most beautiful and you would choose her over you any day.
“You’re doing what now?” you asked one afternoon when Feyre cornered you when you were finished eating, silent as you always were.
“Starfall is tomorrow and we need to get you a dress,” Feyre answered, speaking as if it was obvious.
“What is ‘Starfall?’”
“A Fae tradi-”
“So you’ll celebrate the things that the Fae do but you never bothered when I planned anything?” you snapped hatefully.
Feyre simply frowned before sighing and leaving your room. You sat brooding on your balcony, enjoying the light breeze blowing past you, wondering how things had turned out how it had. Being in Fae territory became even more unbearable by the day and you were beginning to not care if humans didn’t like your kind, half heartedly planning a return to the human lands. Before you could get into your thoughts much further, someone landed on the balcony beside you. Not just anyone, but the one in the group that truly scared you.
“I hear you’re opposed to Fae holidays,” Rhys began nonchalantly. “Why-”
“I’m not participating in your stupid traditions,” you snapped, taking steps back when he took enough steps forward and had you cornered with nowhere to go.
“And why, Y/N, do you refuse?”
“Because I don’t want to!” you yelled despite the fear that you knew he could sense.
“This is what you’re going to do.” He placed a hand on the railing on each side of you, hovering too close for comfort with a stern but angry expression. “You will be there tomorrow whether you like it or not. I will not have you ruining this night for Feyre. You will not like the repercussions if you upset her on her favorite holiday.”
With that, he left you there while you shook from the fear that you had just been left in.
**
Azriel had never imagined how much it would hurt to be pushed away by his own mate. You wouldn’t talk to him or even make eye contact. It was very obvious to everyone that you were miserable and he noted that depression had fully taken over you even and you always failed to conceal it when you tried. Every attempt that he made was always quickly shut down or simply ignored.
The night of Starfall, he barely saw you. You stood by yourself, refusing to speak to anyone that tried to engage in conversation with you by a half hearted smile. When he noticed that you disappeared, he followed your scent down the hall towards your room where he knew that you would be. His knock went unanswered but he let himself in anyway since the door wasn’t locked. He noted that your room was half decorated with the human holiday that you loved while you stood against the balcony in a simple dress that replaced your previous one.
“Are you alright?” he asked hesitantly, bracing himself to be told to leave.
“No.” Your answer was short and clipped but you didn’t bother to look at him as you continued to watch the sight of Starfall. “No, I’m not.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“Why am I being forced to participate in something that I don’t want to be a part of?” you asked and he heard the anger beginning to fill your tone. “They were never a part of the one simple holiday that I tried to get them to enjoy. All that I wanted was to spread some joy in the crappy situation that we were in and even now, they still refuse to acknowledge it.”
“You didn’t have to join if you didn’t want to,” he assured gently, placing a hand over yours.
“Yes, I did,” you scoffed, causing him to raise an eyebrow in silent question. “Your oh so wonderful High Lord insisted. As a matter of fact, he threatened repercussions if I messed up wonderful Feyre’s favorite Fae tradition. I was forced to become a High Fae and now I’m being forced into traditions that I now want no part of.”
“Rhys did what?” he asked, his voice low with anger that was directed towards his brother.
“It doesn’t even matter anymore.” You went silent for only a moment before anger began to roll off of you. “You know what? It does matter. I will not allow them to walk all over me anymore.”
Azriel followed you in a hurry, hoping to do damage control when it was needed. All eyes fell on you when you stormed directly into the party. As if sensing your anger, Feyre’s eyes immediately locked onto yours. When you got too close, Rhysand gave him a stern glare in silent warning so he caught you around the waist to keep you in one spot.
“You are a shitty sister!” you snapped loudly, turning all eyes on you.
“What-”
“Oh, no. You don’t get to talk or ask questions.” He kept you in place despite your struggling as Elain moved beside the High Lady. “Both you have done nothing but shove me to the very back of your minds! Left me on the back burner! You didn’t even bother telling me that our father was dead until everyone was settled comfortably back in the camp!”
“We’re really sorry, Y/N-”
“You’re just as bad!” His arm tightened around you, pulling your back to his front when you began shaking in anger. “All that all of you have done was forget about me! None of your little ‘family’ even knew I existed! And even though you always disregarded my holiday that was always meant to lighten our troubles, your precious High Lord threatened me to participate in your stupid Fae traditions!”
Azriel’s eyes went wide with all of the information that you had just unleashed for everyone to hear. Even though everyone was staring at the confrontation with gaping mouths, he kept his attention on Rhysand who was trying to keep his power in check from his anger due to his own mate’s tears.
“Get your mate out of my city, Azriel,” Rhys ordered, the secret now revealed causing you to stiffen.
“What the hell is he talking about?” you asked, jerking out of his grip and shoving him harshly in the chest.
“I wanted to tell you but with everythi-”
“Oh no,” you chuckled darkly, tears now flowing freely down your face. “Yet another Fae tradition that I just have to deal with.”
“You don’t have to,” Azriel tried, desperation filling him just as much as his anger at his High Lord. “You-”
“Get away from me,” you snapped, backing away from him towards the door to the steps. “I’ll take care of myself just like I always have.”
With that, you darted for the door while he was left standing there in shock before the heartache took over him.
@amara-moonlight @allygrace74 @sidthedollface2 @historygeekqueen 
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rhenysz · 4 months
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@frietiemeloen Thank you my love ❤️ I'll add you to the taglist!
Your Dead Eyes - Chapter 2
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Summary: Lifeless eyes were what haunted your all life, manu people say that death was lurking around your eyes, Maybe it's true. Maybe you just see things that other people don't.
Pairing: Azriel x Archeron! reader fem.
A/n: Damn, I don't know what to think about this chapter but I didn't like it 100% I hope to improve next time. Cassian 🤝 Nesta: Azriel's biggest blockers
*English is NOT my native language, this fanfic was translated with a little help from a So, let me know if there are any grammatical errors*
Word count: 4k
Warnings: Fear of abandonment, distorted sense of humor and LOTS of tension.
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The sensation was as if you were in the middle of the ocean at night, the furious and icy sea pounding against your body, sending adrenaline shocks through it as your mind desperately pleaded for you to swim and stay above the waves.
It felt like you were sinking upon hearing her voice. As if water flooded your ears with the gentle melody that were Feyre's words, and at the same time, it was like the huge waves of despair were pulling your body down.
"Elain," she spoke with a husky voice. It was so different from the usual roughness, as if honey had been poured onto her vocal cords.
Your ears perked up at the sound of footsteps on the stairs, firm and delicate steps. Nesta halted halfway down, looking towards the door. "Mrs. Laurent, prepare some tea and take it to the office," Nesta paused and glanced at you; her trembling figure with wide eyes made her heart skip a beat, and then her eyes returned to the housekeeper, "and take my sister to Merina."
You turned your head to where Nesta's voice came from and vaguely searched for her, silently thanking her for the act. You weren't ready to face Feyre now; your sister was the specter of a ghost that now haunted your mind.
Mrs. Laurent's wrinkled hands gently grabbed your shoulders, lifting you from the sofa and guiding you towards the hallway. "Come, dear, Merina is preparing your favorite."
"Wait!"
Your head lifted at Feyre's request, and your hands clutched the dress you were wearing, crumpling the fabric. Shaking your head, you continued walking with Mrs. Laurent. She didn't wait for you. You wouldn't wait for her.
While your heart held no resentment, it harbored resentment, heavy with hurt towards Feyre. You didn't mind that she went to look for the beast to live by his side, of course not; you minded the indifference she showed towards you. Feyre wasn't obliged to anything, and if you weren't worth a goodbye from her, she wasn't worth a bit of your time either.
The creaking of the door being opened drew your attention away from your thoughts, and undoubtedly, the sweet smell of melted sugar with a touch of cinnamon caught your attention even more. Molasses pie.
With your hand stretched, you leaned on the counter, and Mrs. Laurent let go of you to pull a stool for you; after sitting down, you mumbled a thank you, dismissing Mrs. Laurent for the task Nesta asked.
With a fist on your cheek, you let your eyes close; they weighed more than the pounds of clay you carried. The tinkling of a plate being placed in front of you made your eyebrow arch, and Merina's huff was heard right after.
"You're usually excited about this pie," Merina said, and as the pie was one of her specialties, she may or may not have been upset with your lack of interest, "now, care to tell me why you look like you've sucked a lemon?"
Chuffing a humorless laugh, you rolled your eyes and groped the counter to find the fork next to the plate. With unnecessary force, you stabbed the poor pie and brought a piece to your mouth. Merina, who watched that small act against dessert, tilted her head even more curious.
"Feyre is here." Your voice came out muffled by the sweet you were chewing; who cared about good manners in a situation like this? Judging by Merina's choking sound, she cared.
"Ah..." Merina sounded distant, analyzing your face for something more. With drooping shoulders, you sighed to her, "thought you'd be happy to see her again?"
Sucking the sweetness from the fork, you raised your lips in a playful smile, "hardly ever happy to see anyone, Merina."
The cook reached out to pat your head, "Enough of blind puns; they don't work with me anymore, and stop dodging the question."
Sticking out your tongue at her, you gave up and decided to really say what was going on inside your little head.
"I guess I'm afraid she'll leave again," you said, shrugging, the fork's tip was now deforming the poor pie, "once is fine, twice is hard, but three times? I don't think I can forgive on the third."
Merina hummed in agreement and discreetly took the pie and fork from you, grabbing a piece for herself.
"I'm not saying leaving without saying goodbye was right, or that she won't leave again, but maybe—" Mrs. Laurent passed by, giving her a penetrating look that made her drop the pie, "maybe you should listen, don't need to speak, just listen, and if the explanation doesn't please you, turn your back and leave."
Your eyes trembled, and a slight headache began to spread from your neck towards your temples. To listen, you could hear her, and maybe later, grab her by the hair to explain your point of view.
Your mouth opened to verbalize your response to Merina.
"Let's go to the office."
It wasn't you who spoke. Nesta stood in the doorframe, looking at you, then at the cook, and back at you. Merina jumped from where she was sitting and quickly took your arm to lead you to your sister. Nesta is terrifyingly terrifying.
Your hand fit into Nesta's arm, and she began walking towards the office. Her other hand rested on top of yours and gave a warm squeeze; a simple touch from her meant so much. This was her wordless way of saying she was there for you.
You felt her stopping, and you stopped with her. Nesta glanced at the door separating Feyre from you, and she was sure Feyre could sense both of you through the crack in the door. Looking at you, she blinked and parted her dry lips.
"She's different. Not the same person who left here that night." She said with a stern voice.
You nodded, not really understanding what she meant by that. Different? You were almost certain everyone becomes different after spending so much time in that place.
Nesta pushed the door and entered the office with you in tow. Feyre, who was facing away from the door, turned her head to you so quickly that, for a moment, she had flashbacks from under the mountain.
With teary eyes, she took a step towards you, but a warning look from Nesta froze her in place. She waited for you to come to her, but you didn't, even after leaving your sister's embrace, you didn't move a muscle anymore; perhaps Feyre was foolish to think you would.
Ignoring Nesta's watchful eyes, she approached you slowly, but she stepped heavily so that you could hear. Just like the other time, you felt her breath on your face, a breath so cold that it gave you shivers.
"Sister..." Feyre raised her fingers to your face but hesitated, her hands were no longer human, and you would undoubtedly feel how her fingers were thinner and longer than before.
Impatiently, you lifted your head to her and furrowed your brow, expecting something better than just a "sister." Taking a deep breath, Feyre looked into your lifeless eyes and began to speak.
"I was dead," even though Elain had already heard the story, she couldn't help but hold her breath, "I was dead, and then I was reborn, remade."
Feyre told everything, not omitting any details of what happened with Amarantha, with Tamlin, with Rhysand, the bat-winged men, and you listened; listened to every word attentively, feeling nauseous hearing that the damn beast ignored Feyre's suffering, turning pale when she recounted her death and rebirth experience, and dangerously trembling when she said she was no longer human. She was one of them now.
You didn't know what to say; your mouth was dry, and your hands trembled. What Feyre said wasn't an apology, but it was so much that you could barely assimilate it. She was a fairy—fae? What did that imply? She eat babies?
A hand grabbed yours, making you pull away frightened by the sudden contact. Feyre looked at you hurt by the reaction but continued firm, raising her hand to touch her cheek, and then she let you go. What you would do from now on was your choice; she knew there was much more to say, but time was pressing.
Hesitant, you ran your fingertips along her face, feeling the jaw sharper, your fingers traced the nose, the mouth, the forehead, and the eyes, and with each new change you felt, a sob broke from your chest, and tears overflowed from your eyes. Your hand opened on her face, and Feyre nestled her face in your caress, taking a deep breath, you brought your hand towards the place you were avoiding. The ears.
It was undeniably longer than a human ear, and at the end, there was a point. As you ran your finger along the edge, you felt the patterns of a fae ear; Feyre's ear twitched, and you quickly withdrew your hand.
With a choked voice, you finally found the strength to speak: "do you have bat friends now?"
Laughing, she squinted her eyes to push back the tears and grabbed your face in her hands.
"Would you like to meet them?"
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Feyre went to fetch the fae after Elain managed to dismiss all the household staff, something that wasn't difficult with her charm.
While you waited in the living room, Nesta gave some blunt instructions on how to behave in front of those creatures.
"Don't smile; it shows weakness."
"No unnecessary kindness; they need us."
"Don't you dare take off the iron ring."
Three simple rules that, even if unintentionally, revealed the fear she felt of the unknown. Not that you were any braver; Feyre said they had bat wings for goodness sake, that scared anyone.
You sensed their presence before your sisters did; your heightened senses allowed you to hear three different types of footsteps. A delicate and precise one , Feyre; a lazy and imposing one, and another rough and arrogant. Funny, Feyre mentioned there were three of them.
Your steps halted, enveloping the room in an uneasy silence. Beside you, you could hear Elain gasping; could they be so grotesque as to cause such a reaction?
"My sisters, Nesta, Elain, and..." Feyre paused for a moment and with a more affectionate tone, she said your name, "S/n Archeron."
There were no greetings from them or you; Nesta's fingers tightly wrapped around your wrist discouraged politeness to the unexpected guests.
"Cassian," Feyre continued, introducing the bat- fairies, "Azriel," her shoes made a sound as she turned, "and Rhysand, High Lord of the Night Court."
Again, a suffocating silence. Pulling your arm from Nesta, you raised your hand to twist a strand of your hair. What a stressful situation.
When an elegant voice cut through the silence, you jumped; it was as if he filled the entire room with his powerful timbre.
"Thank you for the hospitality... and the generosity." It was warm but seemed so fake.
Without hesitation, Nesta turned her back, announcing that dinner was on the table, and they should hurry. Elain mumbled a greeting and rushed after Nesta.
You stood awkwardly in the middle of the dining room until Feyre walked towards you with a smile on her face, "Want to get to know them better?"
"We promise not to bite," a deep voice said playfully. Feyre turned to the male and silenced him with a noise. She then turned back to you, taking your hand to encourage you to walk with her.
Nesta would be furious.
With hesitant steps, you went to them; the air around the bat-fairies was so warm and dominating, almost oppressive. Undoubtedly, they could see your hands trembling, and small beads of sweat ran down your collar and disappeared into the square neckline of your dress. Unbeknownst to you, a pair of sharp eyes followed the bold path of these drops.
"Rhysand," Feyre called, and he came to stand in front of you, extending his hand. Your sister brought the hand she held for him to take. Your hand tightened in his delicate grip. Without a doubt, this fae's hands were soft.
"You are more enchanting in person." She spoke playfully. Nodding in acknowledgment, you gave a faint smile. When pulling your hand away, you discreetly ran your fingers along the length of his palm, trying to memorize some feature. A callus on the middle finger.
Another bat took his place and shook your hand firmly. Oh, this hand was full of calluses and thick, "Cassian, General Cassian," your face paled; General? You were already starting to hyperventilate.
"Stop scaring her, bastard," a husky and seductive voice spoke, the silent fairy. Cassian laughed and stepped away from you, barely having time to breathe, the other bat took his place in front of you. 
If you thought the presence of the other two was oppressive, this male's was overwhelming. Much closer than his brothers, Azriel towered over you and let his eyes roam over your body, absorbing every detail you had to offer.
He started with your eyes, a blue so light it could be mistaken for white, your lashes covering his gaze, your lips red from the cruel bites you gave. A chill ran down his spine, and Azriel didn't allow himself to wander more. 
Why not? A sly shadow whispered to him.
Rhys cleared his throat, mocking Azriel. Frowning at his brother, Azriel snapped out of his stupor and took your hand in his, noticeably smaller.
Your nose twisted with the texture of his hand; did the bat have leather hands? No... as you ran your finger over his wrist, you felt the edge of what seemed – and you prayed it was – a glove. There was no way to memorize anything about this man.
"Azriel." He introduced himself, simple and with no need to add anything else. Azriel, the name weighed on your tongue. When pulling your hand away, you felt a final squeeze from him, causing your lips to stretch into a half-smile. Don't smile, the first rule of the night was broken.
A bell was rung with stress. Nesta was impatient.
Laughing softly, Feyre took your hand and led you towards the table, away from the three bats. What a peculiar situation this introduction was.
"What do you think?" She asked eagerly, seating you next to Elain, who nervously watched the males taking their seats at the table.
"Exciting, I suppose." You spoke in a tone so that only she could hear, hopefully. Feyre closed her eyes and laughed; the relief she felt at knowing that at least one of her sisters was willing to acknowledge those who were part of her new life was evident.
"Let's start this dinner quickly." Nesta cut you and Feyre off with a stern voice.
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The dinner was unsettling; the silence was so profound that the buzzing of crickets became audible, and the lack of conversation made you think they might have left you alone and dined somewhere else. It would have been a good theory if the unpleasant noise of the anxious bat's chewing hadn't cut through the silence left by your sisters.
"Is there something wrong with our food?" Nesta asked plainly. But to whom the question was directed remained a mystery.
"No." Feyre. You rolled your eyes while swallowing another bite of roast. Of course, she would pick on Feyre. You slouched further under the table as if it were a barrier for the impending clash.
"So, can you not eat normal food anymore, or is it too good for you?"
With a start, you straightened your back, and like an eagle, your head turned to Nesta, grunting in disapproval. The clinking of cutlery was heard in the background. 
"I can eat, drink, fuck, and fight just as well as before. Even better," Feyre proudly replied.
What a dinner spectacle. With a choke, you returned to your plate while controlling your laughter. The fascination and astonishment for your sister's words struggled against each other to see which would prevail.
"Don't torture me like this, I still have a blessed imagination," you addressed Feyre, who hid a smile in her water glass. 
"I wonder why…" she teased, and a blush spread across your face like flames. It was a disastrous story, and just the mere memory made you want to open the window on the second floor to check if you really didn't fly and knowing you didn't have wings would be satisfactory.
But let's say that some people have no qualms about their intimacy in a private place; undoubtedly, any random alley in a market is not a private place. Someone should warn that couple.
"Hush," a embarrassed murmur escaped your lips. Gripping the fork, you brought a piece of meat to your mouth, desperately wanting to occupy yourself with something else; the other hand held a cloth under the table in case any food decided to change its destination and go away from your mouth.
Focused on the task, you dismissed Nesta grunting at someone. Just another normal day. Nevertheless, your shoulders tensed with Cassian's enraged speech about the living conditions Feyre endured. It was undeniable that he was right; you might not physically help, but it was your duty to fight for your sister, even being younger. Perhaps you could have persuaded your father to get up from that damn chair.
Elain argued some words of resentment, but you didn't listen. Frustration filled your body like an overflowing bucket, closing your hands into a fist on the table, you dropped the fork and let yourself be carried away by the guilt of not being enough to protect Feyre.
A chair scraped closer to the table. Your feet began to tingle, and a cold breeze passed through your legs in a gentle and tender caress. Relaxing your hands, you looked down in foolish hope of seeing something. All the windows were closed.
It tickled, chuckling to yourself, you kicked your feet, and the breeze followed you like a servant, tendrils wrapping around your calf and descending to your ankle with delicacy. A husky laugh was heard, and you quickly looked forward, not sure which of Feyre's friends was sitting in front of you.
"Can you really fly?" Elain beside you asked. The comforting breeze dissipated as if it had never been there. A fleeting pout crossed your lips but soon disappeared because your curiosity with Elain's question got the better of you.
"Yes. Cassian and I are from a fae race called Illyrians. We were born hearing the song of the wind," Azriel, the silent one, responded warmly.
Biting your lower lip, you intruded into the conversation:
"When Feyre said she was going to fetch the bat boys, I imagined claws and sharp teeth, not wings."
Azriel playfully smiled at you, startling Cassian; he didn't know his brother had enough teeth to smile. Cassian turned to you and looked at the side of your face since you were looking at Azriel's chest, who was he to judge. 
"Don't rule out that possibility, Y/n, we might look horrifying to the eyes," Cassian joked, making you open a wider smile and turn vaguely toward him. Well, you hoped he was joking.
"Speak for yourself, brother, I'm hardly seen as hideous," Rhys sneered at his brother's words and turned to Feyre, "right, darling?"
Your sister choked, and a muffled slap sound covered by a layer of fabric was heard.
You rolled your eyes and returned to your original position. Azriel cleared his throat to regain your attention, something that wasn't difficult since you were alert to any noise this man made.
"Maybe one day—"
Nesta dragged the chair rudely, cutting Azriel's sentence, and spoke with a sharp voice:
"If we're done eating, this meal is over."
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Before leaving, Elain explained to her guests and her sister where the rooms they would be using were located.
With a pounding heart and a head full of thoughts, you couldn't sleep, and for restless nights, the calm of your studio was what soothed you.
That's why you were sitting in front of your spinning table with the sleeves of your nightgown rolled up to avoid getting clay on them. Your fingers skillfully opened the stretched mass to soon pull out a cone shape. Humming, you grabbed the wet sponge and gently ran it over the sculpture's edges.
"Can't sleep?"
You jumped at the sudden question and accidentally lost control of the clay, causing it to lose its shape; some splatters of clay flew onto your face and clothes. What a mess.
"I'm sorry, it wasn't my intention to startle you," Azriel said apologetically and walked quickly from the doorway to you. He picked up a clean cloth lying on a countertop and pressed it into your hands.
"It's nothing," you laughed embarrassed and stood up, taking the cloth from his hands and feeling the hindrance of the glove. Moving slightly to the other side of the room, you could breathe better.
Azriel followed you with his eyes, watching you lightly clean your face and discard the cloth on some surface. He lowered his gaze and saw your sculpture undone; if it was something before, it isn't anymore. Azriel frowned, frustrated with himself, it wasn't his intention to disturb you.
"I'm sorry about the piece," his voice resonated in the room, curious; he couldn't help but ask, "what was it?"
Sighing defeated, you let your shoulders slump, and you spoke timidly:
"Wings. Your wings." Just like that, it was like ripping a band-aid off a wound. A grotesque wound and a cloth band-aid.
Wings. Azriel thought somberly; you were sculpting his wings. Swallowing hard, Azriel took a small step toward you but stopped when he heard your soft and delightful voice:
"But I'm sure it doesn't do justice to the real thing; my hands are my eyes, and as I've never touched a wing before..." you stopped before finishing; your eyelashes trembled in the flickering light of the candles.
Azriel held his breath, suffocated by the warm air that lingered in the room. With heavy eyes, he imagined being your guinea pig, your delicate fingers brushing against each tip of his wings. Azriel partially opened his wings as if he could feel your touches passing through them.
The sculpture you were running your fingertips over captured his attention; a small bird resting on a branch. Simple but extraordinary. Not knowing how to behave in a situation like this, you did the first thing that came to your mind.
"You have skillful hands," your hoarse voice was just a whisper in the night's vastness. Azriel looked intensely at your nape; his amber eyes followed your body with devotion as you proudly showed – accidentally – your sculpture.
Your chest warmed with the compliment; at the same time, you felt your hands getting sticky. Your ears caught the heavy sound of his steps, so different from the silent walk before. The heat of his body behind yours sent a shiver up your spine; turning your face to the side, you felt his warm breath reach your cheek.
"Maybe–" he stopped and reorganized his thoughts, clearing his throat; he spoke in a lower voice, "maybe I can help you with the sculpture."
You perked up at the prospect of feeling him without any barrier, turning slightly to him, feeling the weight of his gaze on your face. You opened your lips to speak.
"Am I interrupting something?" Azriel closed his eyes tightly upon hearing Cassian's mocking voice, damn opportunistic bastard.
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rhenysz · 4 months
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Hello! I just read the 2nd chapter of YDE and your writing style is so amazing :) I'm really excited to see where the story goes in the future!
(would you mind adding me to your tag list? Thanks <3)
*blushing very hard* thank you so much sweetheart 🫶🏻 It means a lot to me to know that my writing pleases you!
Yeah! I'm going to add you to the taglist 💖💖
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rhenysz · 4 months
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Azriel - A Court of Thorns and Roses
Artist: @jemlin_c
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rhenysz · 4 months
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Your Dead Eyes - Chapter 2
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Summary: Lifeless eyes were what haunted your all life, manu people say that death was lurking around your eyes, Maybe it's true. Maybe you just see things that other people don't.
Pairing: Azriel x Archeron! reader fem.
A/n: Damn, I don't know what to think about this chapter but I didn't like it 100% I hope to improve next time. Cassian 🤝 Nesta: Azriel's biggest blockers
*English is NOT my native language, this fanfic was translated with a little help from a So, let me know if there are any grammatical errors*
Word count: 4k
Warnings: Fear of abandonment, distorted sense of humor and LOTS of tension.
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The sensation was as if you were in the middle of the ocean at night, the furious and icy sea pounding against your body, sending adrenaline shocks through it as your mind desperately pleaded for you to swim and stay above the waves.
It felt like you were sinking upon hearing her voice. As if water flooded your ears with the gentle melody that were Feyre's words, and at the same time, it was like the huge waves of despair were pulling your body down.
"Elain," she spoke with a husky voice. It was so different from the usual roughness, as if honey had been poured onto her vocal cords.
Your ears perked up at the sound of footsteps on the stairs, firm and delicate steps. Nesta halted halfway down, looking towards the door. "Mrs. Laurent, prepare some tea and take it to the office," Nesta paused and glanced at you; her trembling figure with wide eyes made her heart skip a beat, and then her eyes returned to the housekeeper, "and take my sister to Merina."
You turned your head to where Nesta's voice came from and vaguely searched for her, silently thanking her for the act. You weren't ready to face Feyre now; your sister was the specter of a ghost that now haunted your mind.
Mrs. Laurent's wrinkled hands gently grabbed your shoulders, lifting you from the sofa and guiding you towards the hallway. "Come, dear, Merina is preparing your favorite."
"Wait!"
Your head lifted at Feyre's request, and your hands clutched the dress you were wearing, crumpling the fabric. Shaking your head, you continued walking with Mrs. Laurent. She didn't wait for you. You wouldn't wait for her.
While your heart held no resentment, it harbored resentment, heavy with hurt towards Feyre. You didn't mind that she went to look for the beast to live by his side, of course not; you minded the indifference she showed towards you. Feyre wasn't obliged to anything, and if you weren't worth a goodbye from her, she wasn't worth a bit of your time either.
The creaking of the door being opened drew your attention away from your thoughts, and undoubtedly, the sweet smell of melted sugar with a touch of cinnamon caught your attention even more. Molasses pie.
With your hand stretched, you leaned on the counter, and Mrs. Laurent let go of you to pull a stool for you; after sitting down, you mumbled a thank you, dismissing Mrs. Laurent for the task Nesta asked.
With a fist on your cheek, you let your eyes close; they weighed more than the pounds of clay you carried. The tinkling of a plate being placed in front of you made your eyebrow arch, and Merina's huff was heard right after.
"You're usually excited about this pie," Merina said, and as the pie was one of her specialties, she may or may not have been upset with your lack of interest, "now, care to tell me why you look like you've sucked a lemon?"
Chuffing a humorless laugh, you rolled your eyes and groped the counter to find the fork next to the plate. With unnecessary force, you stabbed the poor pie and brought a piece to your mouth. Merina, who watched that small act against dessert, tilted her head even more curious.
"Feyre is here." Your voice came out muffled by the sweet you were chewing; who cared about good manners in a situation like this? Judging by Merina's choking sound, she cared.
"Ah..." Merina sounded distant, analyzing your face for something more. With drooping shoulders, you sighed to her, "thought you'd be happy to see her again?"
Sucking the sweetness from the fork, you raised your lips in a playful smile, "hardly ever happy to see anyone, Merina."
The cook reached out to pat your head, "Enough of blind puns; they don't work with me anymore, and stop dodging the question."
Sticking out your tongue at her, you gave up and decided to really say what was going on inside your little head.
"I guess I'm afraid she'll leave again," you said, shrugging, the fork's tip was now deforming the poor pie, "once is fine, twice is hard, but three times? I don't think I can forgive on the third."
Merina hummed in agreement and discreetly took the pie and fork from you, grabbing a piece for herself.
"I'm not saying leaving without saying goodbye was right, or that she won't leave again, but maybe—" Mrs. Laurent passed by, giving her a penetrating look that made her drop the pie, "maybe you should listen, don't need to speak, just listen, and if the explanation doesn't please you, turn your back and leave."
Your eyes trembled, and a slight headache began to spread from your neck towards your temples. To listen, you could hear her, and maybe later, grab her by the hair to explain your point of view.
Your mouth opened to verbalize your response to Merina.
"Let's go to the office."
It wasn't you who spoke. Nesta stood in the doorframe, looking at you, then at the cook, and back at you. Merina jumped from where she was sitting and quickly took your arm to lead you to your sister. Nesta is terrifyingly terrifying.
Your hand fit into Nesta's arm, and she began walking towards the office. Her other hand rested on top of yours and gave a warm squeeze; a simple touch from her meant so much. This was her wordless way of saying she was there for you.
You felt her stopping, and you stopped with her. Nesta glanced at the door separating Feyre from you, and she was sure Feyre could sense both of you through the crack in the door. Looking at you, she blinked and parted her dry lips.
"She's different. Not the same person who left here that night." She said with a stern voice.
You nodded, not really understanding what she meant by that. Different? You were almost certain everyone becomes different after spending so much time in that place.
Nesta pushed the door and entered the office with you in tow. Feyre, who was facing away from the door, turned her head to you so quickly that, for a moment, she had flashbacks from under the mountain.
With teary eyes, she took a step towards you, but a warning look from Nesta froze her in place. She waited for you to come to her, but you didn't, even after leaving your sister's embrace, you didn't move a muscle anymore; perhaps Feyre was foolish to think you would.
Ignoring Nesta's watchful eyes, she approached you slowly, but she stepped heavily so that you could hear. Just like the other time, you felt her breath on your face, a breath so cold that it gave you shivers.
"Sister..." Feyre raised her fingers to your face but hesitated, her hands were no longer human, and you would undoubtedly feel how her fingers were thinner and longer than before.
Impatiently, you lifted your head to her and furrowed your brow, expecting something better than just a "sister." Taking a deep breath, Feyre looked into your lifeless eyes and began to speak.
"I was dead," even though Elain had already heard the story, she couldn't help but hold her breath, "I was dead, and then I was reborn, remade."
Feyre told everything, not omitting any details of what happened with Amarantha, with Tamlin, with Rhysand, the bat-winged men, and you listened; listened to every word attentively, feeling nauseous hearing that the damn beast ignored Feyre's suffering, turning pale when she recounted her death and rebirth experience, and dangerously trembling when she said she was no longer human. She was one of them now.
You didn't know what to say; your mouth was dry, and your hands trembled. What Feyre said wasn't an apology, but it was so much that you could barely assimilate it. She was a fairy—fae? What did that imply? She eat babies?
A hand grabbed yours, making you pull away frightened by the sudden contact. Feyre looked at you hurt by the reaction but continued firm, raising her hand to touch her cheek, and then she let you go. What you would do from now on was your choice; she knew there was much more to say, but time was pressing.
Hesitant, you ran your fingertips along her face, feeling the jaw sharper, your fingers traced the nose, the mouth, the forehead, and the eyes, and with each new change you felt, a sob broke from your chest, and tears overflowed from your eyes. Your hand opened on her face, and Feyre nestled her face in your caress, taking a deep breath, you brought your hand towards the place you were avoiding. The ears.
It was undeniably longer than a human ear, and at the end, there was a point. As you ran your finger along the edge, you felt the patterns of a fae ear; Feyre's ear twitched, and you quickly withdrew your hand.
With a choked voice, you finally found the strength to speak: "do you have bat friends now?"
Laughing, she squinted her eyes to push back the tears and grabbed your face in her hands.
"Would you like to meet them?"
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Feyre went to fetch the fae after Elain managed to dismiss all the household staff, something that wasn't difficult with her charm.
While you waited in the living room, Nesta gave some blunt instructions on how to behave in front of those creatures.
"Don't smile; it shows weakness."
"No unnecessary kindness; they need us."
"Don't you dare take off the iron ring."
Three simple rules that, even if unintentionally, revealed the fear she felt of the unknown. Not that you were any braver; Feyre said they had bat wings for goodness sake, that scared anyone.
You sensed their presence before your sisters did; your heightened senses allowed you to hear three different types of footsteps. A delicate and precise one , Feyre; a lazy and imposing one, and another rough and arrogant. Funny, Feyre mentioned there were three of them.
Your steps halted, enveloping the room in an uneasy silence. Beside you, you could hear Elain gasping; could they be so grotesque as to cause such a reaction?
"My sisters, Nesta, Elain, and..." Feyre paused for a moment and with a more affectionate tone, she said your name, "S/n Archeron."
There were no greetings from them or you; Nesta's fingers tightly wrapped around your wrist discouraged politeness to the unexpected guests.
"Cassian," Feyre continued, introducing the bat- fairies, "Azriel," her shoes made a sound as she turned, "and Rhysand, High Lord of the Night Court."
Again, a suffocating silence. Pulling your arm from Nesta, you raised your hand to twist a strand of your hair. What a stressful situation.
When an elegant voice cut through the silence, you jumped; it was as if he filled the entire room with his powerful timbre.
"Thank you for the hospitality... and the generosity." It was warm but seemed so fake.
Without hesitation, Nesta turned her back, announcing that dinner was on the table, and they should hurry. Elain mumbled a greeting and rushed after Nesta.
You stood awkwardly in the middle of the dining room until Feyre walked towards you with a smile on her face, "Want to get to know them better?"
"We promise not to bite," a deep voice said playfully. Feyre turned to the male and silenced him with a noise. She then turned back to you, taking your hand to encourage you to walk with her.
Nesta would be furious.
With hesitant steps, you went to them; the air around the bat-fairies was so warm and dominating, almost oppressive. Undoubtedly, they could see your hands trembling, and small beads of sweat ran down your collar and disappeared into the square neckline of your dress. Unbeknownst to you, a pair of sharp eyes followed the bold path of these drops.
"Rhysand," Feyre called, and he came to stand in front of you, extending his hand. Your sister brought the hand she held for him to take. Your hand tightened in his delicate grip. Without a doubt, this fae's hands were soft.
"You are more enchanting in person." He spoke playfully. Nodding in acknowledgment, you gave a faint smile. When pulling your hand away, you discreetly ran your fingers along the length of his palm, trying to memorize some feature. A callus on the middle finger.
Another bat took his place and shook your hand firmly. Oh, this hand was full of calluses and thick, "Cassian, General Cassian," your face paled; General? You were already starting to hyperventilate.
"Stop scaring her, bastard," a husky and seductive voice spoke, the silent fairy. Cassian laughed and stepped away from you, barely having time to breathe, the other bat took his place in front of you. 
If you thought the presence of the other two was oppressive, this male's was overwhelming. Much closer than his brothers, Azriel towered over you and let his eyes roam over your body, absorbing every detail you had to offer.
He started with your eyes, a blue so light it could be mistaken for white, your lashes covering his gaze, your lips red from the cruel bites you gave. A chill ran down his spine, and Azriel didn't allow himself to wander more. 
Why not? A sly shadow whispered to him.
Rhys cleared his throat, mocking Azriel. Frowning at his brother, Azriel snapped out of his stupor and took your hand in his, noticeably smaller.
Your nose twisted with the texture of his hand; did the bat have leather hands? No... as you ran your finger over his wrist, you felt the edge of what seemed – and you prayed it was – a glove. There was no way to memorize anything about this man.
"Azriel." He introduced himself, simple and with no need to add anything else. Azriel, the name weighed on your tongue. When pulling your hand away, you felt a final squeeze from him, causing your lips to stretch into a half-smile. Don't smile, the first rule of the night was broken.
A bell was rung with stress. Nesta was impatient.
Laughing softly, Feyre took your hand and led you towards the table, away from the three bats. What a peculiar situation this introduction was.
"What do you think?" She asked eagerly, seating you next to Elain, who nervously watched the males taking their seats at the table.
"Exciting, I suppose." You spoke in a tone so that only she could hear, hopefully. Feyre closed her eyes and laughed; the relief she felt at knowing that at least one of her sisters was willing to acknowledge those who were part of her new life was evident.
"Let's start this dinner quickly." Nesta cut you and Feyre off with a stern voice.
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The dinner was unsettling; the silence was so profound that the buzzing of crickets became audible, and the lack of conversation made you think they might have left you alone and dined somewhere else. It would have been a good theory if the unpleasant noise of the anxious bat's chewing hadn't cut through the silence left by your sisters.
"Is there something wrong with our food?" Nesta asked plainly. But to whom the question was directed remained a mystery.
"No." Feyre. You rolled your eyes while swallowing another bite of roast. Of course, she would pick on Feyre. You slouched further under the table as if it were a barrier for the impending clash.
"So, can you not eat normal food anymore, or is it too good for you?"
With a start, you straightened your back, and like an eagle, your head turned to Nesta, grunting in disapproval. The clinking of cutlery was heard in the background. 
"I can eat, drink, fuck, and fight just as well as before. Even better," Feyre proudly replied.
What a dinner spectacle. With a choke, you returned to your plate while controlling your laughter. The fascination and astonishment for your sister's words struggled against each other to see which would prevail.
"Don't torture me like this, I still have a blessed imagination," you addressed Feyre, who hid a smile in her water glass. 
"I wonder why…" she teased, and a blush spread across your face like flames. It was a disastrous story, and just the mere memory made you want to open the window on the second floor to check if you really didn't fly and knowing you didn't have wings would be satisfactory.
But let's say that some people have no qualms about their intimacy in a private place; undoubtedly, any random alley in a market is not a private place. Someone should warn that couple.
"Hush," a embarrassed murmur escaped your lips. Gripping the fork, you brought a piece of meat to your mouth, desperately wanting to occupy yourself with something else; the other hand held a cloth under the table in case any food decided to change its destination and go away from your mouth.
Focused on the task, you dismissed Nesta grunting at someone. Just another normal day. Nevertheless, your shoulders tensed with Cassian's enraged speech about the living conditions Feyre endured. It was undeniable that he was right; you might not physically help, but it was your duty to fight for your sister, even being younger. Perhaps you could have persuaded your father to get up from that damn chair.
Elain argued some words of resentment, but you didn't listen. Frustration filled your body like an overflowing bucket, closing your hands into a fist on the table, you dropped the fork and let yourself be carried away by the guilt of not being enough to protect Feyre.
A chair scraped closer to the table. Your feet began to tingle, and a cold breeze passed through your legs in a gentle and tender caress. Relaxing your hands, you looked down in foolish hope of seeing something. All the windows were closed.
It tickled, chuckling to yourself, you kicked your feet, and the breeze followed you like a servant, tendrils wrapping around your calf and descending to your ankle with delicacy. A husky laugh was heard, and you quickly looked forward, not sure which of Feyre's friends was sitting in front of you.
"Can you really fly?" Elain beside you asked. The comforting breeze dissipated as if it had never been there. A fleeting pout crossed your lips but soon disappeared because your curiosity with Elain's question got the better of you.
"Yes. Cassian and I are from a fae race called Illyrians. We were born hearing the song of the wind," Azriel, the silent one, responded warmly.
Biting your lower lip, you intruded into the conversation:
"When Feyre said she was going to fetch the bat boys, I imagined claws and sharp teeth, not wings."
Azriel playfully smiled at you, startling Cassian; he didn't know his brother had enough teeth to smile. Cassian turned to you and looked at the side of your face since you were looking at Azriel's chest, who was he to judge. 
"Don't rule out that possibility, Y/n, we might look horrifying to the eyes," Cassian joked, making you open a wider smile and turn vaguely toward him. Well, you hoped he was joking.
"Speak for yourself, brother, I'm hardly seen as hideous," Rhys sneered at his brother's words and turned to Feyre, "right, darling?"
Your sister choked, and a muffled slap sound covered by a layer of fabric was heard.
You rolled your eyes and returned to your original position. Azriel cleared his throat to regain your attention, something that wasn't difficult since you were alert to any noise this man made.
"Maybe one day—"
Nesta dragged the chair rudely, cutting Azriel's sentence, and spoke with a sharp voice:
"If we're done eating, this meal is over."
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Before leaving, Elain explained to her guests and her sister where the rooms they would be using were located.
With a pounding heart and a head full of thoughts, you couldn't sleep, and for restless nights, the calm of your studio was what soothed you.
That's why you were sitting in front of your spinning table with the sleeves of your nightgown rolled up to avoid getting clay on them. Your fingers skillfully opened the stretched mass to soon pull out a cone shape. Humming, you grabbed the wet sponge and gently ran it over the sculpture's edges.
"Can't sleep?"
You jumped at the sudden question and accidentally lost control of the clay, causing it to lose its shape; some splatters of clay flew onto your face and clothes. What a mess.
"I'm sorry, it wasn't my intention to startle you," Azriel said apologetically and walked quickly from the doorway to you. He picked up a clean cloth lying on a countertop and pressed it into your hands.
"It's nothing," you laughed embarrassed and stood up, taking the cloth from his hands and feeling the hindrance of the glove. Moving slightly to the other side of the room, you could breathe better.
Azriel followed you with his eyes, watching you lightly clean your face and discard the cloth on some surface. He lowered his gaze and saw your sculpture undone; if it was something before, it isn't anymore. Azriel frowned, frustrated with himself, it wasn't his intention to disturb you.
"I'm sorry about the piece," his voice resonated in the room, curious; he couldn't help but ask, "what was it?"
Sighing defeated, you let your shoulders slump, and you spoke timidly:
"Wings. Your wings." Just like that, it was like ripping a band-aid off a wound. A grotesque wound and a cloth band-aid.
Wings. Azriel thought somberly; you were sculpting his wings. Swallowing hard, Azriel took a small step toward you but stopped when he heard your soft and delightful voice:
"But I'm sure it doesn't do justice to the real thing; my hands are my eyes, and as I've never touched a wing before..." you stopped before finishing; your eyelashes trembled in the flickering light of the candles.
Azriel held his breath, suffocated by the warm air that lingered in the room. With heavy eyes, he imagined being your guinea pig, your delicate fingers brushing against each tip of his wings. Azriel partially opened his wings as if he could feel your touches passing through them.
The sculpture you were running your fingertips over captured his attention; a small bird resting on a branch. Simple but extraordinary. Not knowing how to behave in a situation like this, you did the first thing that came to your mind.
"You have skillful hands," your hoarse voice was just a whisper in the night's vastness. Azriel looked intensely at your nape; his amber eyes followed your body with devotion as you proudly showed – accidentally – your sculpture.
Your chest warmed with the compliment; at the same time, you felt your hands getting sticky. Your ears caught the heavy sound of his steps, so different from the silent walk before. The heat of his body behind yours sent a shiver up your spine; turning your face to the side, you felt his warm breath reach your cheek.
"Maybe–" he stopped and reorganized his thoughts, clearing his throat; he spoke in a lower voice, "maybe I can help you with the sculpture."
You perked up at the prospect of feeling him without any barrier, turning slightly to him, feeling the weight of his gaze on your face. You opened your lips to speak.
"Am I interrupting something?" Azriel closed his eyes tightly upon hearing Cassian's mocking voice, damn opportunistic bastard.
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TAGLIST: @dearestdaffodils @going-through-shit
@valeridarkness @wallacewillow0773638
@harrystylesfan2686 @carnationworld
@applerubyy @saltedcoffeescotch
@esposadomd @justdreamstars
@microwaveallthedemons @cherryinsalemverse
@stqrgirlies-blog @brujitafantomatico
@bionic-donut @kemillyfreitas
@judig92 @sassybluebird
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rhenysz · 4 months
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As I write YDE let me throw in some fun facts about the story:
Your Dead Eyes would actually be called ACOSP, a court of snow and pain and that title is definitely not ruled out 🙏🏻
The MC would be called Bryar, but that turns into a future Wattpad, here most people prefer Reader, right?
In my original idea, the Reader would not be blind, but as the future of the story allows this change, I wanted to make it difficult for myself and change the main character 😫
Bryar has long white hair with beautiful blue eyes, as Gojo from Jujutsu Kaisen knows? But I don't explicitly add this, I want you to have fun imagining Reader. But... In the future I will add something permanent to her appearance👀
Reader's personality was supposed to be more like Nesta's, but for some reason that didn't sit well with me in YDE so it's hard for me to connect with Reader now, as I am still conflicted with the person she is becoming.
And no, this isn't just to stall you until I finish the chapter ❤️🙌🏻
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rhenysz · 4 months
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Your Dead Eyes - 2 Preview
"You have skillful hands." His husky voice was just a murmur in the vastness of the night. Azriel stared intensely at your nape; his amber eyes followed your body with devotion as you proudly displayed your sculptures.
Your chest warmed with the compliment, yet you felt your hands becoming sticky. Your ears captured the heavy sound of his steps, so different from the silent walk before. The heat of his body behind yours sent a shiver up your spine; turning your face to the side, you felt his warm breath reach your cheek.
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rhenysz · 4 months
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just saw your last post about YDE and your little dog. take all the time you need, I hope Luke gets better!!! ❤️
My puppy and I appreciate your kind words 🫶🏻
Kisses from a sleeping Luke ❤️
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rhenysz · 4 months
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Hey! I came here quickly to let you know that YDE might be a little late, my little dog got an eye ulcer and the treatment is very delicate, as soon as Luke adapts to the rehabilitation cone I will focus back on the new chapter 🙌🏻🙏🏻
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rhenysz · 4 months
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Maybe a little too much? 😅🏃🏻Thanks for the tag, I love making picrew me 🙌🏻
found this cute picrew me and i love this!!!! let's see how yours looks like 🫶🏻💌
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https://picrew.me/en/image_maker/1469769
tagging; @danikamariewrites @shadowdaddies @thehighladywrites @throneofsapphics @vanserrasswife
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rhenysz · 4 months
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Lol I must say that I share the same opinion. I hope you like how this is going to explode 👀👩🏻‍🦯🤭
Your Dead Eyes - Chapter 1
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Summary: Lifeless eyes were what haunted your all your life, many people say that death was lurking around your eyes, maybe it's true. Maybe you just see things that other people don't.
Pairing: Azriel x Archeron! reader fem.
A/n: This took longer than expected and isn't even half as long as I would have liked, but I've finally finished the first book and let's get to the real story! Thank you for the positive feedback 🙌🏻 This chapter was more about the sisters' bond, the next ones will be different. I think the Reader has an emotional dependence on Feyre 😥
*English is NOT my native language, this fanfic was translated with the help of an AI, any grammatical errors please let me know*
Word count: 2.5k
Warnings: Scars, family abandonment, mentioned death.
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"Do you not think you're exaggerating?" Elain asked you with forced gentleness. The sound of her sipping tea tickled your ears. Dropping your own teacup on the living room's coffee table – causing some splashes to stain the surface – you placed a hand on your chest in mock indignation, perhaps not entirely fake.
"I'd rather be thrown to the wolves than face the conjugal bed, and I must say I'm terrified of those animals." Your lips curled downward, "Men, in this case."
Elain's eyes crinkled at the corners, and the curve of her lips lifted even as she tried to dispel the amusement she felt.
"I understand. But maybe you should consider, I bet Feyre would return in time for your wedding." She spoke with her eyes lowered to the tea.
No, she wouldn't return. You wanted to shout out to Elain. Hardly would that beast willingly let your sister go, that is if she wasn't already in the belly of those faeries.
"I have no interest in getting married, sister. And who in their right mind would be interested in someone with my condition?" Your voice was soft, not a hint of resentment showing in your features.
Having a man in your life was not something you desired. They were rough, lazy, and smelled bad. Not even the twisted relationship Feyre had with that man could make you want one too.
"Maybe... you just haven't looked in the right place," Elain commented. Looked? Have holy patience. You were hardly going to look at anything, let alone a man. Realizing her bluntness, Elain widened her eyes towards you, "I didn't mean it that way, sister, it was just a figure of speech—"
Your laughter cut off Elain's awkward attempt to apologize. Your shoulders shook with the intensity of your laughter. Elain sighed in relief and awkwardly joined in.
Feyre didn't treat you as if you were about to burst into tears.
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After that interesting conversation with Elain, Nesta barged into the room, interrupting – rather rudely – to announce that a luxurious carriage was approaching.
You could hear the rustle of Elain's skirts as she tried to beautify herself even more. Despite Nesta feigning an indifferent facade, she was also discreetly arranging her hair.
Laughing to yourself, you wondered how you must look in your supposed light blue dress. A hand grabbed your arm and gently lifted you from the sofa. Nesta, you could tell the difference. Elain had rougher hands from gardening, and Nesta's hands were colder.
"Let's go. Can you manage on your own?" Nesta asked. You appreciated that she allowed you to have your own autonomy. Nodding, you reached for the edge of the sofa where your cane rested and grabbed it.
When you heard the door opening, your head turned towards the sound and you went, dragging the golden tip of the cane across the floor, which hit the furniture warning you to dodge, and slowly going after your sisters – who were walking significantly slower to wait for you.
His cane hit the front door step. Carefully, you placed your foot in front to descend. The breeze made your hair flutter, and it felt so good; the wind kissed your skin like a longing lover.
"Welcome to our home... Lady." You heard Nesta as you finally caught up with your sisters. A brief moment of silence followed, soon to be cut by an extremely familiar laughter
.Your heart raced, and your free hand crumpled the dress you were wearing. Your lifeless eyes turned, trying to find the source of the voice.
"Nesta," she laughed, "doesn't recognize her own sister?" The air was expelled from your lungs, Feyre. A burning sensation started in your eyes, and without you realizing, fat tears streamed down your flushed cheeks. No matter how or where, you would always, always recognize your sister's voice.
The crunching of dried leaves alerted you that someone was approaching, a calm breath was blown on your face. Your trembling lips also parted as you tried to find the right words. Nothing came to mind; it was as if your brain had turned to jelly.
"My snowflake..." Feyre stepped forward, using her fingers to wipe away your tears. She missed you so much while she was with Tamlin. Her chest weighed every time she thought of you, her dearest sister.
Closing your eyes tightly, you let out a sob and threw yourself into Feyre's arms. Discarding the cane without care, your hands reached the back of your sister, pulling her into a tight and emotional embrace.
Feyre staggered under your weight and laughed. She laughed as she nestled in your arms and continued to laugh even as she felt Nesta's eyes drilling holes into her head.
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You couldn't physically move away from Feyre while your sisters talked with her. Your hand clung to hers in the hope that if you held on tight enough, she wouldn't leave again.
But not even all the happiness you were feeling could make you ignore Feyre's excuse. Taking care of Aunt Ripleigh? You distinctly remembered that it wasn't Aunt Ripleigh who tore the door off the old cabin.
As expected, Nesta was cautious, hovering over you and Elain as if Feyre would reveal her true intentions at any moment. She declined Elain's invitation to go to the garden, seeing Feyre there made her physically sick, so she withdrew to avoid conflicts in front of her sisters.
You were focused on Feyre and Elain's conversation, desperately wanting her to talk about what happened.
Feyre tensed when Elain casually mentioned – distracted by the flowers – that Nesta visited her at Aunt Ripleigh's. Another lie.
You felt Feyre's breath near your face: "How have you been?"
Fine. You were fine, but not well enough to disguise the suspicion in your expression. Feyre quickly noticed and stepped back slightly.
"Why are you lying to us?" You were direct, no more beating around the bush. You needed answers, and not even Elain's presence would distract you from your goal.
Feyre widened her eyes toward Elain and was relieved to see that she was far enough away not to hear. Biting her lips, she grabbed your wrist and pulled you toward the exit, giving a brief goodbye to Elain, who was so fascinated by the new petunia seedlings that she didn't care.
You were guided through a few doors until you reached a room that Feyre considered safe from curious ears.
You crossed your arms over your chest and impatiently waited for Feyre, who ran her hand through her hair and sighed, not knowing where to start. Then she decided to start with the worst.
"I– I'm in love with the High Lord of Prythian."
If you weren't already blind, you could swear your vision blurred at that moment.
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And then Feyre told you, told about how the other side of the wall was breathtaking, told about the peculiar creatures that existed there, told about her frenemy Lucien, and told about how she fell in love with the beast that turned out to be so loving to her.
And to your dismay, she detailed the night of passion she had before being – gently – sent home.
"I didn't need to know that. I have a vivid imagination, and I hate myself for it." You spoke with disgust; Feyre chuckled and approached you, taking your hand and bringing it to her face.
"I haven't told you everything," you murmured for her to continue. Your fingers traced the contours of her face. She looked so different but at the same time so familiar. Perhaps she had become healthy.
"There was a male who threatened Tamlin, he was handsome, maybe the most beautiful male I've ever seen," she commented absentmindedly, "he asked for my name... Clare Beddor."
Clare Beddor, the name weighed on your tongue. Clare, your former neighbor who was killed in such a horrendous way that no one could bear to look for too long, according to your gossip source – Elain.
Feyre had given a false name to the fairy assassin. And you could swear she didn't know what had happened to that poor girl. And perhaps you weren't the most suitable person to tell her about the event; Feyre seemed happy sharing her new experiences. And you? You would allow yourself to be selfish for a moment.
"I understand."
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Your sisters and your father went to the seasonal ball, and despite Elain's insistence, that wasn't your place. Your place was anywhere as long as it was far from high society. You certainly didn't fit the standards imposed by them, even though those who looked at you were dazzled.
"A beauty never seen before."
"I would die for features as delicate as yours."
"It's truly a shame…"
Feyre promised to come back early, just like you; she didn't like crowds and pompous people. Feyre promised to come back early.
So you did the only thing that was possible – you waited. Waited while eating, waited while talking to some servants, waited while invading Elain's garden, and waited until you got tired and chose the living room sofa as a great place to rest.
Inevitably, your eyes began to weigh, and before you realized it, sleep completely took you, plunging you into a deep state of peace, unable to hear the hurried steps through the house and the slam of the door closing.
Feyre promised to come back early.
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Feyre hated goodbyes.
Perhaps, just perhaps, you should have already imagined that this would happen. Feyre was in love with the beast, and people in love tend to do foolish things.
That didn't ease the chest pain you felt when the next morning you were informed that she had returned to the fae lands in search of her High Lord. The feelings of betrayal and sadness walked hand in hand.
At the same time, you couldn't find the strength to harbor resentment towards her. Why would you? For the first time in her life, your sister was dedicating herself to something that truly made her happy. It didn't matter if she was leaving her family behind, right? No, that mattered to you.
Nesta hated dealing with your whirlwind of emotions; she hated that you depended on someone to be happy, and she made it clear when you woke up.
"Feyre is not responsible for what you feel. You are allowing yourself to stay in this state. Stop depending on her to live."
Despite being harsh, Nesta was spot-on with her words. Feyre was finally living her dream life; it was time for you to start living yours too, without anyone dictating how you should feel.
And thinking about this led you to where you were now, with your hands covered in clay – and probably not just your hands – trying to give some shape to that earthy mass on the spinning table in the studio.
Your mind wandered through all the possibilities of sculpture. Sculpting things your fingers had memorized or even inventing new forms to call conceptual. It would be ironic if your sculptures became famous.
Humming to yourself, your fingers gently moved over the clay's edges, shaping a small sphere; you pulled five points out and rounded the edges.
"They look like fingers." Merina's voice made you jump on the stool; Merina was one of the maids you had become close to, she had such a calm and gentle voice that, if you let her, could lull you to sleep.
"Well, I hope so. I'd be very upset if they looked like something else." You laughed, still molding your supposed fingers. Merina dragged a stool to join you, after, of course, looking down the hall to make sure no one was approaching.
She looked amazed at your hands giving life to the clay. Inevitably, her mind wandered, how? How were you capable? Feeling where your mind wandered, you chuckled softly and tilted your head in a silent invitation. Merina cleared her throat and asked:
"Why a hand?"
You subtly widened your eyes; that certainly wasn't the question you were expecting. A hum came from your throat before you answered Merina.
"It's with my hands that I see; they are my eyes to the world," you replied, licking your lips as you pondered, "I don't know how I manage it; I fear there's no logical explanation for it."
Merina didn't say anything, just grunted in response. Extending your hand, you searched the table until you found a small knife; bringing it close to the sculpture, you began making small fillets with it all along the hand's length.
Merina turned to you curiously, not understanding why you were deforming the piece. She gently nudged you with a – painfully pointed – question.
"Hmm, I've been thinking about it lately, hands with scars," you made one final cut and dropped the knife. Merina reached for an old cloth to help you clean your hands, "thank you. What would it be like to see with these hands? Would the texture of things be different? Or would the sensitivity be greater?" You rambled to her.
There were so many questions to consider, and in your opinion, you could already be considered a hands expert. That made you laugh.
Merina took the cloth from your hands and brought it toward your face, cleaning some clay splatters that had strayed there.
"I hope you don't have the answers on your own. It must be a horrible pain to have your hands torn apart." She commented, lowering the cloth.
A horrible pain? Makes sense. Whoever has hands like that must have a melancholic story behind them.
"You're right."
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As promised, you lived your life the best way possible, and sculptures paved the way to your heart. Over time, your clay skills became refined, even daring to sculpt the features of your sisters; Nesta was your biggest supporter, even if she didn't admit it, there wasn't a day she didn't pass by to make sure your stock was full.
Each sister had their own shelf containing everything you thought resembled them. Elain had sculpted flowers and cakes, Nesta had books and red jewels, and Feyre had an arrow – just a sculpture, but it was the one you dedicated the most time to, whether smoothing the edges or trying to paint in the right places.
Because even though Feyre was a million miles away, you would love her all the way, and even if she never came back, you would find your way to her through the heart.
You wouldn't wait for her, but you wouldn't forget everything you had been through together.
And you might not even believe she would come back, but that tingling you felt in your fingers when you heard a knock on the door made you doubt your mental state.
It may be that besides being blind, you're also becoming deaf because hearing your sister's name from Elain's lips after so long is not a sign of good auditory nostalgia.
"Feyre?"
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rhenysz · 4 months
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I LOVE Your Dead Eyes! Can’t wait for more ❤️❤️❤️❤️
omg 🤧 I'm so happy that YDE is getting so much love! Normally I'm very insecure about my writing but reading these comments makes me feel at ease. I'm glad you're enjoying it 💖
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