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pumpkinangelminnie · 2 months

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Meanie head voices 2

Fandom: Stray Kids

Littles: Chan & Hyunjin

Caregivers: Minho & Felix

Part 1

Chan struggles to accept his headspace

No one’s POV.:

While Chan and Hyunjin made up and Hyunjin bounced back quickly, Chan just couldn’t seem to make peace with his new found headspace. Minho and Felix occasionally made him slip, so he could get a break but the leader always tried to resist. He’d beat himself up over it for days afterwards and tended to cry a lot whenever he slipped because he was so frustrated that he hadn’t managed to resist. Hyunjin tried to be around Chan a lot whenever either of them slipped, so the Aussie could see that it was okay but it didn’t seem to have made much of a difference so far. That was why they had agreed to spend their next day off together, so they could try to get Chan more accustomed to being taken care of. Felix especially wanted to really establish the leader’s headspace because he loved how at ease his fellow Aussie was when he was regressed. He figured regressing would seem more normal to Chan if he was better equipped for it. Maybe if he had some littlegear of his own and didn’t have to borrow Hyunjin’s anymore.

Minho and Felix had slept over at the 3racha dorm the night before their day off, so they’d be ready to take care of their littles as soon as they woke up. It was a great idea because Hyunjin already woke up regressed and was happy to snuggle up to Felix immediately, the Aussie simply pulling him tighter without fully waking up. Chan was a different story however. Him and Minho had talked till late into the night, the leader admitting to feeling uneasy about the day to come. He knew that his friends expected him to slip and with how much he was holding him back, he feared he would disappoint them once again by either not slipping or having a breakdown the moment he slipped. “You know that it’s fine if you cry”, Minho reminded, staring up at the ceiling, “It’s healthy because it releases pent-up emotions and we won’t judge.”

Though Chan was told that they didn’t judge him for his tears, that didn’t mean he that he didn’t mind shedding them in front of anyone. Luckily, he managed to sleep in late and woke up pretty well rested. Only when Chan noticed Minho next to him, did he tense up. “Good morning”, Minho smiled when he noticed his hyung was awake. Sitting up, Chan scratched his head and hummed: “Good morning. Can we not do this today, Min? I don’t want to be little and I don’t need to either. I’d gladly hang out with you guys but please don’t make me slip.”

Realizing that they’d only be met with more resistance if they pressured him, Minho sighed: “Alright, we won’t push it. Jinnie will be little though, so please don’t make him feel bad about his headspace. I don’t think I’d forgive you anytime soon if he beats himself up over it because of something you said.” Chan nodded gratefully, his heart aching for his dongsaeng when he thought back to their first meeting in headspace. What the leader didn’t know was that Minho texted Felix about the situation and they agreed to expose him to as much cute stuff as possible to see whether it would make him feel fuzzy. They’d still go shopping for littlegear later and Minho was determined to get Chan some stuff even if he denied wanting anything.

Luckily, Changbin and Jisung had plans for the day and had left quite early, so they didn’t have to hide around the dorm. “Channie!”, Hyunjin squealed as he skidded up to the leader. Catching the younger around the waist, Chan chuckled: “Good morning, baby. Did you sleep well? Lixxie gave you all the cuddles, hm?” The little nodded, though a little upset. “Chu big”, Hyunjin observed, leaning away from his hyung. When Chan nodded, he pouted: “Buh- Buh we be smol ‘gether….” – “Some other time, Jinnie, okay? Channie doesn’t feel little today”, The leader explained, though it did little to make Hyunjin feel better about it. Letting go of Chan, Hyunjin scampered over to Minho and clung to his caregiver’s arm.

“Jinnie, the four of us are going shopping today. You finished your coloring book last time, so how about you pick out a new one today?”, Minho smiled at the boy before glancing at Chan for confirmation, “You are coming along, right, hyung?” The leader nodded, reminding: “I’ll still spend the day with you, just in my adult headspace.” – “That’s fine, just know that if you change your mind at any point, we don’t mind”, Felix agreed softly, “We won’t force you but we’d be there for you if being around Jinnie makes you feel fuzzy.” – “Thanks, Lix”, Chan hummed, still determined that that would not be the case but he appreciated the sentiment.

Wanting to treat themselves, they made pancakes for breakfast and took their time to get ready to head out. While Felix helped Hyunjin, Minho approached Chan again, asking: “What are you going to look for while we’re out? Since you should have some littlegear of your own, I’d like to keep an eye out for whatever you plan on getting too.” – “I’m not going to get anything, just tagging along to keep you company”, the older muttered as he threw on a hoodie, “It’d be a waste to buy littlegear for me because I don’t plan on me slipping being a regular thing. Is there anything specific Jinnie needs though? I’d like to gift him something.”

While Minho spend a lot of time looking at art supplies with Hyunjin, Felix had taken Chan to the baby section, claiming he wanted to get another sippy cup because Hyunjin’s had been stained by tea. In reality, the dancer wanted to see how Chan would react to being surrounded by all the baby supplies and children’s toys. It was a physical reaction that Chan would’ve never expected, so he hadn’t been too worried about going there with Felix. As soon as he spotted the first shelf though, his heart start to race, palms sweating. When Felix felt a trembling hand tighten on his arm, he turned to the other, who stared at the shelf wide-eyed. Removing Chan’s hand from his arm, Felix linked their fingers and whispered: “Everything’s okay. Are you overwhelmed?” The leader nodded hesitantly, growing more uneasy by the second because he was losing control of his thoughts, his mind growing hazy while his head ached. Nothing felt okay and it scared him

Stepping closer, Felix cupped Chan’s cheeks and whispered: “It’s okay, I promise. I’m here with you, you don’t have to fight it.” The leader’s eyes welled up with tears and Felix already feared the breakdown that would usually follow but Chan only stepped closer and hid his face against the dancer’s neck. Rubbing the little’s back, Felix hummed: “We can finally pick out some stuff for you today. Do you wanna take a look around, Channie?” The other sniffled back tears and stepped back slightly, giving his friend a wary look. Was it really okay for him to pick out littlegear for himself? “Come on, let’s see if anything catches your eye”, Felix smiled as he took Chan’s hand and pulled him closer to the shelf.

With sparkling eyes, Chan scanned the different items, face lighting up when he spotted a dark sippy cup. It had a galaxy design with stars against a dark background and came with a second lid, so it could be converted into a baby bottle. Felix only needed a single look at the item to know that it matched Chan’s personality so well and with the two interchangeable lids, it should fit no matter how young he slipped, which was a huge advantage because the leader’s headspace was still wildly unpredictable. “Wow, it’s so pretty”, the dancer gasped quietly, the comment encouraging Chan to take it from the shelf. The little held it like it was the most precious thing he had ever encountered and Felix whispered: “Why don’t you put it into our basket, love, so we can take it to the check-out?” Chan looked at him with big, glossy eyes, unsure what the other wanted from him. When Felix pointed at their shopping basket though, he hesitantly placed it in, afraid to let go of it but he trusted Felix. The dancer also picked out another sippy to replace Hyunjin’s stained one with before they looked for more littlegear for Chan.

Minho and Felix had figured out how to change the silicone teat of a baby pacifier to an adult one and had some adult teats left, so Felix took the time to go through all the pacifier in that aisle to find the perfect design for Chan. The little feeling overwhelmed by the huge variety in designs simply stood frozen in front of the shelf but Felix found a few that he thought would fit. When he showed them to Chan, the leader looked about to break down, so he simply dropped them into the basket and guided the other to join Minho and Hyunjin.

Chan’s hands were shaking hard when they reunited and Minho only took one look at the little before taking the shopping basket from Felix instructing: “Take them back to the car. I’ll check out and meet you there in a bit.” The younger nodded and took Hyunjin’s hand, walking between both littles to get them out of the store quickly, afraid Chan would have a breakdown in public. He was already impressed how long the leader had held it together compared to the last few times he had slipped. In the privacy of the company car they had borrowed, Felix wrapped his arms around Chan, praising: “You did so well, love.” – “Channie smol?!”, Hyunjin gasped, his face lighting up. Nodding, Felix explained: “I think our kangaroo is a little overwhelmed by slipping involuntarily in public.” Hyunjin shifted closer and hugged Chan tight. “I know ish scawy buh chu safe, Channie”, Hyunjin smiled sadly, “We gots hyungs to ‘tect us.” The leader sniffled softly, nodding.

Exhausted from their eventful outing, Chan rested in Felix’ arms, giggling quietly at the funny faces Hyunjin pulled. The breakdown they had been sure he was going to have, didn’t happen, the boy too distracted by his fellow little’s shenanigans. Minho was surprised when he joined his friends in the car, finding Chan all smiley and upbeat although tired. He got into the driver’s seat and handed each of the littles a lollipop to suck on. “Our Channie looks so happy, don’t you, bubba?”, Minho cooed, tickling the boy’s tummy. Chan squealed, wriggling in Felix’ arms as the dancer tried to buckle him in. Ruffling the leader’s curls, Felix beamed: “Hyunjinnie cheered him up, right?” Hyunjin nodded proudly, holding Chan’s hand as he suckled on his lollipop. “We nap when we home? Channie sweepy and me wan’s cuddwe”, the dancer pleaded.

As soon as they got back to the dorm, Minho tucked the two in together and Chan drowsily rolled over to snuggle up against Hyunjin’s side. The leader had barely made it up to the dorm, sleepily tripping over his feet, which made it obvious that a single night of good sleep wasn’t nearly enough to compensate for the hours he’d lost. While they were getting settled, Felix took a bag of dinosaur nuggets out of the freezer to thaw them, so lunch would be fixed quickly as soon as Chan and Hyunjin would wake up from their nap.

In the meantime, Minho and Felix took apart the baby pacifiers and modified them, so Chan would have his own adult pacis, before washing the sippy cups. Felix found a shoebox and decorated it with cute stickers, so they’d have something to keep Chan’s littlegear in though they’d obviously need to find something bigger once the leader accumulated more items. They had still only gotten the bare necessities because Chan was in no shape to choose and they wanted him to pick his littlegear himself to ensure it would really fit his headspace personality.

Hyunjin was the first to wake up and shuffle to the living room. When he saw what Felix was working on, he asked if he could doodle something on his brother’s shoebox too, so the leader would always be reminded how precious he was to them. Chan easily forgot that, especially when he woke up from his nap alone and figured they had left him because they disliked him being so immature. Only when Minho heard his heartbreaking sobs, did the dancer come for him. “Lovely, hyung’s here”, Minho shushed, gently rocking Chan in his arms, “We didn’t leave. Felix and Hyunjinnie are in the living room too. Should we go see them? Come on, lets go join them.”

With some struggle, Minho maneuvered a still crying Chan into his arms and carried him to the living room, where the other two dancers were waiting anxiously. Felix immediately opened his arms for Chan, so Minho placed him into his dongsaeng’s lap. Lightly nuzzling into the little’s sleep-ruffled hair, Felix breathed: “Did you get scared we might’ve left?” The leader nodded, hiccupping softly. “Channie, love, we wouldn’t do that”, Felix reminded, pressing a gentle kiss to the little’s temple, “You mean the world to us, bubba. We could never.” Tears still kept rolling down Chan’s cheeks, the dancer’s words barely getting through to him. Words were far too difficult for him to find and how could he possibly tell them that everyone had left him at some point?

Since Chan had never used a pacifier before, Felix was a bit nervous when he picked one up and showed it to the boy, smiling: “Look, Channie. Isn’t it pretty? There are tiny stars on it.” The leader curiously reached for it but instead of handing it over, Felix slipped it between the other’s lips. It was like a mute button, Chan’s cries stopping immediately. Maybe it was due to the surprise but the leader completely forgot about what had made him upset and slowly got used to the foreign sensation of suckling on something. For some reason, he couldn’t comprehend, it brought him immense comfort and although he immediately hid his face, so nobody would see the item between his lips, he did like it in a way.

Hyunjin had fetched one of his own pacis and knelt in front of the couch, holding the paci between his teeth. “Hewwo Channie”, he giggled around the comfort item in his mouth, making Chan lift his head. Proudly showing off his own paci, Hyunjin beamed: “Woah, you gots pwetty staws.” The leader nodded, smiling so widely the pacifier almost fell from his lips. Well, that’d need some practice but he should get used to it. “Do you want some water, love?”, Minho asked, carefully wiping away the drying tear tracks on Chan’s cheeks. The little shook his head. There was no way he’d remove his new paci anytime soon. Holding up the sippy cup, Minho tried again: “You sure you don’t want any? Wouldn’t want you getting a headache from crying.”

When his eyes fell on his new sippy cup, Chan made eager grabby hands at it and almost fell off Felix’ lap in his attempt to reach it. Gently plucking the paci from the leader’s lips, Minho earned himself a whine of protest before he managed to replace it with the sippy cup. Chan had greedily gulped down almost half of his water before anxiously looking around for his paci again. The tension visibly melted off of him when the item was returned and he sunk against. Felix’ chest. Showing Chan the shoebox, Hyunjin boasted: “We mades dis aww pwetty fow chu.” – “That’s where we’ll put all your littlegear in Channie”, Felix explained, tapping the shield of the pacifier, “Your spare pacis will go in there, your sippy and the bottle-lid. Everything will be kept safe in there, so you can find it right away whenever you feel little.”

Chan giggled softly when his eyes fell on a kangaroo sticker before Hyunjin poked his arm. “Jinnie gots new co-wing books”, the other little mumbled, struggling to pronounce the words, “Chu cowow with me?” The hope was evident in his voice because he wouldn’t give up on trying to get Chan to play with him even though he had never been well enough to do so before, usually too drained from his breakdown. With Chan leaning more and more towards Hyunjin, Felix placed him down onto the carpet, where the leader expectantly looked at the other little. Excitedly clapping his hands, Hyunjin waddled to the coffee table and laid out his coloring books and pencils. Chan squealed and crawled after him, paci bobbing rapidly between his lips.

“Have some juice, lovelies”, Minho smiled, handing Hyunjin his sippy cup before plucking Chan’s paci from his lips and replacing it with the teat of his own sippy. The leader seemed to have slipped so much deeper than usual and with how lighthearted he looked, Minho was pretty sure the meanie head voices couldn’t reach him anymore. Once Hyunjin placed down hismsippy, Minho tickled the boy’s side and chuckled: “You hungry too, bubs? Wenjust put dino nuggies into the oven.” – “DINOS!!!!!”, the little squealed while Chan looked at him confused, so he explained, “We get da bestest wunch, Channie.”

When the timer beeped, Felix settled Hyunjin at the table before serving their dinosaur nuggets. Minho sat down with Chan in his lap, so he could feed the leader easier. They knew that Hyunjin could eat perfectly fine on his own, especially when it came to dino nuggets because he always insisted that his caregivers were too slow feeding and he’d do a much better job himself. Chan truly appreciated Minho feeding him though he did nibble one of the nuggets alone, which Minho praised him for. Giggling proudly after showing that he could eat on his own too, Chan took Minho’s wrist and pulled his hand towards the plate, so it was clear that he still preferred being fed. Minho pecked the little’s cheek and fed him another dino nugget. They were all glad that Chan had funally broken free of the meanie head voices.

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