PLZZZZ

almost every food log i see on this app anymore

breakfast

skipped (0)

lunch

1 cup of chicken broth (5)

dinner

1 plain rice cake (40)

snacks:

a fucking BURGER (232), FOUR SCOOPS OF ICE CREAM (548), TEN SLICES OF PIZZA (2700), A WHOLE JAR OF NUTELLA MIXED WITH A WHOLE JAR OF PEANUT BUTTER (7125), TWO FISTFULS OF LITERAL DRY WALL (100??), LIKE 80 SERVINGS OF SPAGHETTI (17680), MY OWN LEFT HAND (450???)

Day two of trying to get my previous followers back

hey!! i’ve gained 12 pounds since the last time i updated my weight in my bio and i’m going to CRYYyyyy😙😙😙just wanted to let y’all babes know that self induced vomiting is NOT effective and is ONLY going to give you disgusting breath, rotten teeth, and stomach issues🥰

i need help. my life is hell right now. i’m living in an endless cycle. i cant stop binging and it hurts. i feel disgusting but i just can’t stop. it is so hard to not have control.

i started to restrict myself almost a year ago. it started out as me just wanting to lose a couple pounds but it ended up being a lot of weight of a short period of time and god i was never happier. but inside i wasn’t happy. i was so unhappy. nobody knew i was counting the calories in the half pack of gum i chewed in a day and no body knew that gave me control and made me feel comforted. i have never been somebody with healthy coping mechanisms. when i started to starve myself i felt like i finally had a grip on my life. i felt i never had to worry about my weight again because i was skinny. all my problems were solved because i was skinny. at least it felt like that at the time. the endless compliments fueled me to keep going. i pushed my self so hard until i finally broke and now here i am stuck in a cycle of binging and restricting.

eating disorders are so much more than being skinny. they are scary. losing your self because of a small diet you started a year ago is heartbreaking. feeling you aren’t worthy of food is heartbreaking. looking in the mirror and wishing you were anyone but yourself is heart breaking and i just can’t live with it anymore. i tried to get better and help myself but i just ended up binging until i couldn’t move. binge eating disorder is real and it fucking sucks. everyday i think what is wrong with me? why did i let myself go so much? why can’t i stay in control? all i want is to be happy

Happy new year everyone. I know i am late but i also know new years can be hard for a lot of people! Just a reminder you are all valid, beautiful, worthy and so much more!:)

just saw an ad that said, “fix your ED by taking this pill!” wow thanks! i’m all better now!😁

how come everytime i weigh myself the day after a binge the scale goes down like two pounds🤨 i stg this is not helping w my binging

Here’s an update,

people have noticed my weight loss. they started noticing around august maybe? anyway, almost everyone i know comments on it now and it makes me well reallyyy happy. but the thing is, whenever i feel like i’m doing a good job, like REALLY good job i binge. and when i binge holy shittt i binge. except i haven’t had a terrible binge for probably a month so i’m doing alright. anyway, i’ve noticed my parents watch what i eat and consistently ask me what i’ve eaten in a day but it’s so hard to eat especially with people praising me for losing weight.

Hey, i’m so confused why people are following me i feel like i’ve been so inactive!! Anyway, i’ve been inactive cause i’ve been going thru a lot at home and tumblr is was jsut not the place for me to be and that time. I want to come back seeing people interact with my page, it makes me happy!! Basically i’ve been losing weight but i’m not sure if that’s what i want to talk about now.. if that makes sense?

Things I can't stop thinking about

Calories

Burning calories

Exercise

Gaining weight

What should I eat

What shouldn’t I eat

How thin I look

How fat I look

My weight

Should I skip that snack

How I wish I could lose weight

How I hate my body

How other people would react if they knew what I was thinking

ALL DAY EVERY SINGLE DAY

Don't ever hesitate. Reblog this. This should be in the tumblr laws. When you see it, REBLOG IT.

Depression Hotline: 1-630-482-9696

Suicide Hotline: 1-800-784-8433

LifeLine: 1-800-273-8255

Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386

Sexuality Support: 1-800-246-7743

Eating Disorders Hotline: 1-847-831-3438

Rape and Sexual Assault: 1-800-656-4673

Grief Support: 1-650-321-5272

Runaway: 1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000

Exhale: After Abortion Hotline/Pro-Voice: 1-866-4394253

If you ever want to talk: My tumblr ask is always open.

i mom bought me cotton candy the other day because it’s pretty much the only sweets i’ll eat. my step dad ate it all i’m MAD.

i have full body aches and i’m watching To The Bone for like the 60th time 🤙🏻

UPDATE!!

so yesterday i jist started a 30 day challenge, calories are around 800-1100. Usually i eat around that anyways. I realized within these 30 days it’s my birthday!! which isn’t a good thing because then i’ll have to eat cake. I think i am actually going to fast the day before, and after my bday because i know i’ll be going over my calories for sure.