princess-dirt
dirt
24 | he/they | pan | femboy
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Tumblr is a treasure
its so brave that you have such a 2012-coded url in this 2024 world
would you call a bear brave for standing in a new construction suburb or would you recognize the unfamiliar world they built around him
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society really lost the war when dressing nice / slutty = “gay” “metrosexual” “is he 💅🏻”. we had decades of men wearing crop tops and short shorts without blinking an eye and now it’s ye ole pilgrim standards and talk of scandal if they show their knees
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The hottest take I have is the fact I hate queer people dating or even hooking up with bigots. It's likely a chronically online take, but whenever
This post spawned after seeing this tik tok:
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTL5ExBEW/
Just something about the idea of a homophobic person getting with a queer person makes my skin crawl. I should only hate the bigot in this scenario. Two consenting adults having sex is fine. I remember the 'trans panic' cases. I remember my genuine disgust with conservatives.
So why do I also think less of the queer person? A bi girl dates a conservative who jokes about her sexuality and all I can think of someone jumping into a pit of snakes and being suprised when one of them bites you.
It's definitely a lack of understanding on my end. I could never imagine ever even giving a bigot the time of day, let alone sleeping with them.
If this post isn't lost to the void, I'd want to hear other's thoughts on it.
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tumblr staff will let the thousands of porn bots on here run rampant yet will take down trans comics with no actual nudity
i originally reblogged this post, but since staff took it down you can't fucking see my reblog anymore. well i liked this comic, i want it on my blog, and it does not include any fucking nudity. especially compared to all the straight up porn staff allows to go free
so here it is
untitled by Pas (paxiti), all pages from May 23, 2018 to June 22, 2023
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Long Rant, please ignore... or don't
Growing up, my mom would tell me how handsome I was, how I'd have to be careful with girls because of how many I'd have to deal with. She told me this as early as elementary school.
Of course, she couldn't have been more wrong. I grew up with undiagnosed adhd and likely autism. I had social anxiety and horrible self-image issues. I never cared how I looked, but hated how I looked. I was socially awkward and could barely talk to girls. That's to say very few girls ever approached me.
I was thinking about this, and only now have I really connected the dots. The patriarchy and heteromormativity of the world fucking sucks. Like I grew up and every good thing about my appearance that my mom would say never materialized. No wonder I suffer so bad from self-image issues. I had my mom pushing it down my throat that I should have a girlfriend, but also to be careful of girls, but also that they'd be all over me, but also that I have to make the first move since I was a guy.
I think the worst part about all of this is that when I was in high school, the lack of any romantic relationship really fucked with me mentally. I already had a pretty shit childhood, so it was frosting on the cake. It got so bad I fell down the alt-right pipeline and was a few months away from becoming an incel.
But I watched MLP. This show was the first time I was ever really taught empathy, and it changed my life. Fast forward senior year, and I've been experimenting with how I look. I have alt and queer friends, I'm learning about myself.
I spill my heart out to my mom about everything and how trapped and hopeless I felt about relationships. Like 20 minutes she listened to me. I was crying and desperate for any bit of advice from my parent.
"So are you gay?" My mom asks sounding almost annoyed.
Which leads to me begging her to listen to me and to take what I am saying seriously.
"Well, how do you think I feel?" She says now sounding angry.
This same conversation happens a half dozen more times. Each time I become more desperate for any hint my mom cares at all.
"You just need to approach them and be nice."
"You should try harder."
"Are you calling me a bad mother?"
"I didn't raise you this way!"
Now, both of my parents are brainrotted by Fox News. My dad is mentally ill while being the most toxic man ever, never being emotionally available for me ever. My mom still thinks I just need to try harder and that girls will just throw themselves at me. Her state of delusion is horrifying tbh.
It sucks because they will both die never having known their son. They'll die never knowing I use he/they, never knowing I'm pansexual, never knowing I crossdress, never knowing I cosplay, never knowing me, the pansexual nuero divergent femboy. And I don't feel bad over it.
I know my story about this kind of shit is way more common that I'd like. I've seen tik toks with very similar events I've mentioned with 100s of 1000s of likes and comments.
To think a generational gap could have such destructive consequences. My only solace for this is that I was able to overcome their horrible parenting.
It seems to me that as each day passes, the only way I'll remember my parents when they are long since dead is the mental scars they've left. I hate it, but I love my parents. They tried their best, but their best failed me and my 3 brothers horribly.
Anyways, back to watching Vampire Dormitory. It's a gay ass anime about some twink and a vampire.
Edit: finished episode one, the Twink was girl. I feel so betrayed.
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Fan fic update:
Last chapter of the canon content posted. As mentioned in the notes of the chapter, I plan on writing two separate endings as I couldn't choose which way I wanted to end it. Without canon content to base and mold chapters around, these next 4-6 final chapters will be a lot of fan theory.
Obviously, my preferred ending will likely be the nice one where Satin and Jon live happily ever after. But as a writer, the neatness of that ending bugs me. Especially with how closely I've tried to keep the fic within canon.
A more serious tone with real consequences and a more tragic ending is the other ending. I do love me a tragedy. Tokyo Ghoul is my favorite manga ever and if you've read that then you get my point lol.
Anyways, I doubt the chapters will be out in a timely manner. I want to fully dive back into my fantasy project, but also adhd takes away a lot of the decision-making process... or rather it fucks with it.
Anyways, Tensura season 3 is amazing.
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Fan fix update:
Super busy with school, work, and other stuff. Just went to Anime Boston for the weekend and then to a soccer game Tuesday. Been putting off hw I should've finished days ago. Anyways, have about 500 words of the last A Dance with Dragons chapter.
It's gonna end quite predictably, right before the final Jon chapter. The bigger news is the Winds chapters. I am gonna write 1 and then write 2 separate endings. One that is realistic to the books and one that is pure fan fic. So bad-end and good-end.
It means the 50k word fan fic will probably become 60k words by the end. The fic itself has reached over 1400 hits on ao3 which is insane to me. I am writing a very ambitious dark souls 1 fan fic at the same time, but writing in it doesn't take away time writing for the Satin fan fic.
I have severe adhd so writing consistently is just not on the table atm.
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Lewd post cause 4 am. "My cute feminine zombie boy keeps wanting to eat me!" And it's just a story of a zombie femboy eating ass of a twink who works from home.
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I don't think people will truly understand how bad media literacy is for the average person until you read comments under online manga scans. Especially when the manga is kinda problematic or morally gray.
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Update on myself and the 7 people who read my fan fics. I've been busy with school, and I'm still writing a lot, but mostly for my original fantasy work. Have read like 200+ chapters of manga the last couple of days, which has made my homework workload a lot heavier. My own fault~adhd and all.
Hopefully, I will get back to Satin and Jon when I'm all caught up.
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No fandom experience will ever top being a My Little Pony fan when episode 100 aired. It was a celebration of the best parts of the brony community and was unashamed of that. Pure fan service, a love letter from the creators of the show to the fans.
The only comparison I can think of is End Game for Marvel fans.
With the modern climate of television and streaming, shows lasting to episode 100 are becoming rarer by the year. Even less gain the organic community MLP did. The closest thing we have is anime.
There are a bunch of anime I could see doing something as special for the fans at some point, but with how prevalent spoilers are for big anime and how toxic a lot of the community is, the universal celebration just won't be there.
And I'm talking with massive bias. I know that. MLP was the show that taught me empathy, the show that helped me accept my sexuality, gain confidence, escape the alt-right, accept I had adhd, etc.
It just felt good to be seen. To know the creators cared just as much about the show as the fans.
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Fan Fic Update:
Satin fan fic coming along well. Around 1800 words written in the next chapter so far. Also started working on a Dark Souls fan fic. That one is just as ambitious a project, although I don't have to worry too much about things like continuity for it.
It will likely just be the B project for me. Somewhere to write when I am struggling with the Satin fan fic. I love writing Satin, but I don't want to get into a pattern of just writing scenes of Jon and him being intimate. Personal thing, but I want more a balance so their scenes together feel earned.
Anyways, I love getting and seeing comments under my fics. I set out writing this for myself, so I'm glad others are also enjoying it.
I have been listening to the 2nd Dunk and Egg Novella and will likely start fire and blood soon. I want to avoid burnout with Sanderson since I've read 8 books of his in the last 6 months.
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One Piece loving and hating women accidentally is not lost on me
*firebombs your dashboard*
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the dom/sub ↔ top/bottom conflation has got some of you convinced that you can't make your wimpy fucktoy femboy pound you in the ass and still remain completely in charge of his drooling puppy slut bitch dick and that's honestly really sad
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the dom/sub ↔ top/bottom conflation has got some of you convinced that you can't make your wimpy fucktoy femboy pound you in the ass and still remain completely in charge of his drooling puppy slut bitch dick and that's honestly really sad
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