Don't trust the government † Don't trust yourself † Don't trust me
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escandalointimo
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I wanna talk about what it's like having DPD episodes.
I want to bring awareness to the fact that DPD episodes are a thing, to help people understand some of our struggles and stop judging us for our dependent traits.
DPD episodes occur when separation anxiety becomes too overwhelming to deal with.
They involve strong feelings of emotional pain due to physical separation from your depended (the inclusive term used for the person that you are emotionally dependent on, since it could be a friend, partner, therapist, etc).
In my case, my depended is my life partner, and when I'm unable to see them for a while, I begin to feel the void where they are physically absent for a little while before I miss them too much and have a meltdown.
There is a deep pain that I feel from it, as well as a longing for their presence, and it affects my ability to sleep and my ability to focus on my tasks.
DPD is a serious mental health issue, and it is understudied due to it being rare, and there are a host of negative stereotypes despite this. It is painful to even know how to reach out for fear of judgment from people who just don't understand it (and thank whatever deity is out there for my partner's compassion and understanding about my emotions).
Please stop judging people with DPD and with DPD traits simply for struggling with dependency; we are hurting. Communicate with us and don't pretend to be okay with our behavior if you aren't. That will only break us when you eventually ditch us.
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Seven of Nine + Starfleet uniform
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i am not joking we need to force teach cooking in schools. like. it is an essential thing for survival. do you know how easy it is to make things if you know even the bare bones shit about how cooking works. we need to teach teenagers how far you can take an onion and some other veggies it''s sad that people grow up not knowing how to prepare literally anything. and i'm not talking about oh this home ed class taught me how to make chicken nuggets at home i'm talking about learning the balancing of sweetness and acidity and saltiness and bitterness and shit like that and techniques and oil temperatures and how meats cook. it needs to be taught because it's literally not even that difficult and it matters so much
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you can do the bat blood kiss with me
I strongly suggest therapy. It's done me WONDERS.
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and they say romance is dead
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Bats, by Edward Gorey (1925 – 2000).
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Plush Bats
Hell Bat on Etsy
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HELLO. WILL YOU MARRY ME? I AM SOFT AND WILL DYE MY HAIR BROWN AND WILL GIVE YOU SPACE AS WELL AS GOOD FOOD. PLEASE RESPOND.
Excuse me??? This is so fucking weird wtf marry???
#im gonna lose my fucking mind#pretty bold to send this shit off anon#id like a restraining order#thank you
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do you have any advice for for people who have DPD and their partner is their dependent person? like what they should do when dealing with navigating problems to die with the disorder
I would try your best to keep your independence, even in little ways. Relying on them for advice may be nice but it also makes for an unbalanced relationship that can hurt you in the long run and make you extremely anxious about leaving your partner, even if it’s needed.
It’s not easy to be independent of your partner but I think the easiest way to start off is by maybe having multiple dependent ppl, just for a bit to make it so they aren’t the SOLE person you rely on, as one person having that much power over you can be dangerous. You can even imagine someone you trust, but jot your partner, telling you to do the things you need in your head so you can get through it without having to overtly rely on someone. But you do it instead cause you’re like “X person would want me to.” But if you’re in a space where you can skip this step, then please do!! Move on to next instead:
Trying to be more independent in tiny ways and build up. If you know there’s a task you need to do like chores etc or self care try doing those things on your own. One thing that helps with that, at least for me is to listen to podcasts or play live shows on in the background of a creator that you really like. It can help motivate you and make you feel like you’re not alone. When you get anxious about doing things on your own or making decisions on your own, remind yourself that you’re safe. Asses your environment and remind yourself that there aren’t threats around you. Grounding exercises like focusing on how an item feels. Naming all the colors you can around you, or breathing techniques can also be really helpful.
I’d also suggest that if you have the time to, generally taking time away from your partner for yourself at least twice a week if you can. You don’t have to spend the whole day away from them or not talking to them, esp if you live together but just being mindful to take time to spend with friends or family or doing things that you enjoy can be super helpful. And if you get anxious, practice grounding and reminding yourself that you’re safe.
I hope this is helpful snd let me know how it goes! I’ll try to be on here more often ❤️
Tagging this for bpd too as I think these things can help with that as well ❤️ (I have both)
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Trigger warning: emotional abuse, abandonment, parentification, emotional incest
Millon's subtypes of DPD rewritten (feel free to reblog with the ones that you relate to the core of; I'm not rewriting Ineffectual or Immature because I don't relate to those variants and don't want to speak for people who do):
Disquieted (avoidant traits):
This dependent wants to be close to people, but has been so traumatized in early childhood by emotional or physical abandonment that they can no longer enjoy close relationships without fear, or repress their anger when they feel their needs aren't being met. They feel horrible for their negative feelings, especially after outbursts, and try to make up for it by appeasing their depended(s).
Accommodating (Depressive (outdated personality disorder) Traits):
This dependent doesn't believe they can get people to stay without excessive people-pleasing and doing whatever it takes for people to like them, even if it means going against their own values. This is the effects of growing up with one or two egocentric caregivers who made them earn love. They believe they have to perform to receive love from their depended(s).
Selfless (Masochistic (another outdated personality disorder) Traits):
This dependent's self-worth is tied up in being able to meet everyone else's needs, as well as the way their depended (and others, but mostly their depended) sees them. They gain their sense of identity from other people, likely because other people have been telling them who and what they are their whole lives. They usually grew up with (a) selfish caregiver(s) who didn't care about how their actions affected others and were parentified, so they have an unhealthy sense of responsibility and only can view themselves well when their dependeds are pleased with them.
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bought a big black umbrella recently and now every time i use it i think about "thought the cunt was turning into a bat"
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Hey do you like bats? They aren't exactly birds, but they are cool. Asking for a friend.
I LIKE BATS! They’re like birds in bone structure, very light, fragile bones. Bats are also signs of a good ecosystem! And aesthetically pleasing. 8}
#he likes bats!!!!!!!#okay i know i cant turn into one#but everyone associates vampires with bats#so if he likes bats aesthetically#:DDDD#im happy today
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Fuck you
Yeah you
The noise and static
While I try to sleep
And your eyes
Fuck you
I want black
Black void when I sleep
But it's just
You
Fuck you
Look what you did to me
Fuck me
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✞ 666 ✞
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