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potatoflamingo · 4 years

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Furries

The alien crew had been expecting a human to join their ranks.the human was to arrive soon and the a member had been waiting and read their records while waiting.

Issy 6’1 earth furry

They did not understand the last part but assumed it meant she was Harry but they were very wrong

Issy arrives on station and the instructor goes to meat her but instead of a human a strange creature exits the vehical. It looked like a mix between a tiger and a human but blue and wore rainbow colored clothing.

“Are u issys driver?”

Issy removes her head piece and moves up to greet her new colleague.

This momentarily startles and confused the alien but they got over it quickly.

It was time to update the human handbook once again

#humans are space oddities

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potatoflamingo · 5 years

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Imagine if humans were the only ones without any natural defenses so they’re the only ones who actually have to learn how to use your body is certain way that would make it more dangerous than it normally would be

Imagine if aliens almost always had some form of means of defending against predators or a literal weapon that they are born with

Like a literal sword that’s imbedded inside them and can be used from an early age

Or super Curosive blood

Or a hulking abomination

And then us defenseless

Humans are just like ...ok

I can beat this

And actually find a way to win

#humans are space orcs

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potatoflamingo · 5 years

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One of these things doesn’t belong here

A Happy Thanksgiving from the crew.

Alisha: Have a good day!

Negan: The universe is thankful for you!

Mick: Stay hydrated.

Finn: Don't feel pressured to talk to relatives you don't like.

Rachael: Be respectful.

Josh: Slaughter your enemies.

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potatoflamingo · 5 years

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potatoflamingo · 5 years

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Why is it that causation alone are for some reason not allowed to say nigga

Caucation is immediately beaten insulted and acused of being a racist by all the humans

Alian is confused

caucation human-the wOrd niger commonly is used by African Americans or anyone with dark skin when referring to one another but they think it’s racist for it to be said by anyone that’s caucation

Alian-what’s it mean

Caucation human-contemptuous term for black person

Alian-then y is it only offensive when you say it!?!

Caucation person-because I’m not a…NIGGA!!!

Room erups in yelling and angry and racist comments

Alian-isn’t it racist to only be call causations when caucation people say it.

Caucation-yea🤕it’s really RETARDED!

Room goes nuts again all the humans pissed off

Alian -what’s that about

Rteard refers to a person with a learning disability retarded can also refer so how dumb or stupid a situation is,inthe context I used it in it was perfectly acceptable

Alian-why do u keep saying these-…

Caucation human-fuck shit butch face tits…

It’s a tick

Alian-what do u mean,isn’t a tick a parasite

Human walking by-it’s also a type of mental illness where some people say or do things unintentionally and have no control over.

Alian confused-and it makes you say curse words

Human-sometimes

Alian-that seems really inconvenient and amazing

Human-why

Alian-u could say swear words at your boss and not get fired.😈

Human-omg your right

Hope you enjoyed this I’m new to tumbler.

#humans are space orcs #humans are weird #humans are space australians

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potatoflamingo · 5 years

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Imagine an alian getting poison ivy and planting it in a ship then a human touches it and next day has a puffy face and is covered in blisters

Alian-what the fuck happened to you

Human-remember that plant you got yesterday

Alian-yeeeea…

Human-this is what happens when most humans touch it

Alian-I will get rid of it emediately

Human-at least you didn’t bring anything deadly to touch

#humans are space orcs

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potatoflamingo · 6 years

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...

#humans are space orcs

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potatoflamingo · 6 years

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I’m going to try to write a story and I’m not new to Snapchat so not really shire what to do with everything or how it all works

Again this is just a heads up

#humans are space orcs

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potatoflamingo · 6 years

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...

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potatoflamingo · 6 years

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Why is it that causation alone are for some reason not allowed to say nigga

Caucation is immediately beaten insulted and acused of being a racist by all the humans

Alian is confused

caucation human-the wOrd niger commonly is used by African Americans or anyone with dark skin when referring to one another but they think it’s racist for it to be said by anyone that’s caucation

Alian-what’s it mean

Caucation human-contemptuous term for black person

Alian-then y is it only offensive when you say it!?!

Caucation person-because I’m not a...NIGGA!!!

Room erups in yelling and angry and racist comments

Alian-isn’t it racist to only be call causations when caucation people say it.

Caucation-yea🤕it’s really RETARDED!

Room goes nuts again all the humans pissed off

Alian -what’s that about

Rteard refers to a person with a learning disability retarded can also refer so how dumb or stupid a situation is,inthe context I used it in it was perfectly acceptable

Alian-why do u keep saying these-...

Caucation human-fuck shit butch face tits...

It’s a tick

Alian-what do u mean,isn��t a tick a parasite

Human walking by-it’s also a type of mental illness where some people say or do things unintentionally and have no control over.

Alian confused-and it makes you say curse words

Human-sometimes

Alian-that seems really inconvenient and amazing

Human-why

Alian-u could say swear words at your boss and not get fired.😈

Human-omg your right

Hope you enjoyed this I’m new to tumbler.

#humans are space orcs #humans are weird #humans are space australians

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potatoflamingo · 6 years

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Imagine an alian getting poison ivy and planting it in a ship then a human touches it and next day has a puffy face and is covered in blisters

Alian-what the fuck happened to you

Human-remember that plant you got yesterday

Alian-yeeeea...

Human-this is what happens when most humans touch it

Alian-I will get rid of it emediately

Human-at least you didn’t bring anything deadly to touch

#humans are space orcs

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potatoflamingo · 6 years

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H

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potatoflamingo · 6 years

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Alien: I don’t understand. My scans indicate this creature possesses a solid skeleton. It has musculature and its form is physical. It is solid, with a measurable volume and mass. How is this possible?

Human *shugs shoulders*: what can I say? Cats are liquid bro.

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potatoflamingo · 6 years

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Another humans are weird idea

I read two hours worth of aliens interacting with humans and all the humans can explain the situation somehow. Why we do things, why we don’t do things. Why we react in a certain way,etc.

I have no idea if this already exists but here’s my idea: What if the human has no idea what is going on with the other human? Or how to explain, repair things because it’s not related to their workspace.

“HumanSusan, why does HumanThomas stab himself with this thin obect?” (Needle)

“He probably suffers from diabetes.”

“What is diabetes?”

“It’s the lack of a certain protein in the human body which we need to function properly. He needs to inject insulin otherwise he will die. But it’s a common porblam so you don’t have to worry about it.”

“Could you explain this further?”

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“I’m a mechanic not a doctor. If you want to know how the human body works go an talk to a human doctor. They’ve studied that shit for years.”

or

“HumanJack. Am I correct that you are a scientist?”

“Given the fact that I work in the labor I would say yes. Why?”

“Could you spare some time and explain how it’s possible that two human with blue eyes have a child with brown eyes?”

“Look….. I am a physics scientist. I can build you a laser in no time. I can use the formula for mass time acceleration if I have to but don’t waste your time with asking me about the human body. I hated biology my entire life and will hate it untill I die…………….. Also I’m pretty sure that this is not how genetics work.”

or

“What happened?”

“Some wires inside the computer braised.”

“Can you fix it, HumanTed?”

“I’m a nurse not a electrician.”

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potatoflamingo · 6 years

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I love these

Alien: You’re telling me that in times of great distress humans have been known to suddenly gain the strength necessary to lift objects more than a dozen times their own weight?!

Human: Yeah, it’s called “hysterical strength” and it usually happens in life-or-death situations, like when someone gets stuck under a car or something and someone lifts the car to get them out. We can’t really test it though, ‘cause it only happens spontaneously.

Alien: Humans have the ability to tap into untold strength and power and you don’t even know how you do it?

Human: Pretty much, yeah. We think it has something to do with temporary analgesia, so we just don’t feel the pain we should when we pick up a 3000-pound car.

Alien: YOUR PAIN RESPONSE JUST SHUTS OFF?

Human: Yeah, it’s like an adrenaline thing? Do you not have that?

Alien: Fuck you and your entire species of tiny juggernauts.

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potatoflamingo · 6 years

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Omfg 😂