Are women allowed to have any standards when it comes to dating men?

If a woman wants a man who is conventionally attractive, tall or athletic, she is shallow.

If a woman wants a man who earns good money or at least has some financial stability/gainful employment, a career or good career prospects, she is a gold-digger.

If a woman wants a man who is educated, cultivated or takes an active interest in the world around him one way or another, she is a snob.

If a woman wants a man who is not a complete porn-addict with a severe case of terminal misogyny, she is a stuck-up bitch.

If a woman wants a man who is kind, considerate and actually cares about her, she pussy-whips her boyfriend or husband.

If a women wants a man who shares values, interests or life-style choices that are important to her, she is mean and exclusionary, because why wouldn't she give men a chance she is clearly not compatible with?

Seriously, what are women allowed to look for in a male partner? Oh, wait, I know! She is supposed to want a man who is funny and makes her laugh. That is a demand no man feels threatened by, because they all think they are comedy gold.

#habitstacking #atomichabits #jamesclear

#selfcare #relationships #femalefriendships #jealousy #looksmaxxing #levelup #levelingup #motivation

“are u okay?” no i need more money

The hobbyist 🎨🪴🎞️

The key to success is to keep growing. Keep learning. Never stop

“Cause you deserve it” <3

More tips from your sister?

You should hold your man to the same standard.

Translation: if I have to work my ass off to look amazing, then my partner should too. She brought this notion up to me the other day when I asked her about potentially marrying her long-term boyfriend, HHH (Harvard Hottie who plays Hockey) and she flat-out responded, "I don't think I can marry him unless he gets a hair transplant. His hair is thinning and I can't be married to a bald man". And you know what, I completely see where she's coming from. The truth is, there's a widening gap between the pressure women feel to look perfect and the expectations placed on men. Men are increasingly embracing body positivity and defying traditional notions of masculinity. They're sporting dad bods, growing out their hair, and ditching the razors. Meanwhile, women are still expected to be hairless, toned, and wrinkle-free. We're told to spend hours on our makeup, buy the latest anti-aging creams, and squeeze into uncomfortable shapewear. It's exhausting and, frankly, unfair. My sister asking her boyfriend to get a hair transplant is, in her own way, an emblem of empowerment. She's unwilling to settle or sacrifice for the sake of equality, and neither should any woman.

Focus on a couple of qualities.

Fun fact, my sister can't really do makeup and she doesn't really care to learn how to do makeup. She's also not big on fashion and again, doesn't really care to become an expert on the subject. Most of the time she's sporting a bit of foundation, mascara, lip gloss, and a Lululemon or simple Aritzia get-up. And you know what? She looks very put together at all times because she's an expert on two things: maintaining a beautiful physique and amazing hair. She's a naturally toned girl who was blessed with an hourglass figure to die for, but she also avoids carbs and only eats one meal per day to maintain and improve what she already has going for her. She's also obsessed with her hair and has a TON of wigs that while all are black and pretty much the same length, are thick and shiny and bounce from a mile away so when you see her from afar, her hair immediately draws you in. There are other things she does, but ultimately she focuses on having the best hair and the best body and that's kind of all she needs. To quote her directly "Find a couple of areas to really zero in on and go from there. If you love fashion, tailor the best outfits for your nights out. If you're into perfumes, make sure you're the best-smelling person in the room. Basically, focus on a couple of things and understand that doing so will be more than enough".

It's okay to keep some things to yourself.

My sister has been with her partner for years and has kept quite a lot from him. She's kept her evening and morning routine from him, she's kept the fact that her "extensions" are a straight-up lace-front wig from him, she's kept her sexual past from him, and she's kept all the other things she deems private from him. Truth is, keeping some aspects of your private life separate from your partner can be an important and positive thing in a healthy relationship. It's not about secrecy or hiding things, but rather about preserving healthy boundaries and nurturing your feminine wits so to speak. I know in the age of social media all of our personal lives are displayed for the world to see, but in the age of no pride or privacy, it's 100% fine to keep some things to yourself. It's okay to keep your beauty routine, your harlequin novel habit, and your horrible one-night stand story to yourself. It's actually kind of empowering in the "I'm an independent woman and I don't need to tell you these things if I don't feel like it" kind of way.

Don't ask, compare.

My sister is an absolute expert at getting nice things from men and her number one secret is that she never asks them directly for anything. Why? Because she knows men have a tendency to get defensive and combative when feeling like they're not doing enough. So instead, she simply compares her lack to another woman's abundance. For example, if she wants a new 5 oz Baccarat Rouge 540, instead of asking HHH, she'll simply go on and on to him about how her coworker got that exact perfume from her partner and how amazing she smells whenever she floats past. If she decides HHH ought to be working out more, she'll talk about how her male friend just joined a new CrossFit gym and is looking absolutely jacked lately. And because all men are silly and wired for competition, he'll immediately jump to buy her that perfume and take up CrossFit six days per week. So, as I've said many times, never ever critique your man directly. Instead, find a way to subtly instill a bit of jealousy within him and in return, he'll do whatever it takes to prove his worthiness. Men are funny that way.

Lovingly, Elle