THE GRUDGE (or: the 7 things luke castellan hated about you)
pairing: luke castellan x child of nemesis!reader (gender not specified)
word count: 8.5k
summary: luke hated your guts. he really did. he just hoped that no one could tell how, even after all this, you're still everything to him.
warnings/disclaimer: luke's POV. spoilers for the lightning thief and season 1 of pjo. some heated make-out sessions but no actual smut. mentions of blood + death + alcohol. luke is 19 during tlt but i wrote this with him + reader being 21 by the end of this (this is important for the next part lol). anyways, luke + reader share clothes and lots of intense emotions they maybe possibly don't process in the best way. lots of ANGST - it's a greek tragedy fr!
author's note: welcome to my new hyperfixation! this fic is LONG but i hope she's worth it âĄ
(i. you have a sharp tongue)
fourteen year old luke was overwhelmed when he first stepped into the hermes cabin. it was loud and overcrowded and no one really seemed to care that they had a new cabinmate. the head counselor showed luke to an empty bed at the back, told him to get settled in, and left without another word. luke dropped his backpack before collapsing on the mattress. it was so thin that he could feel the springs dig into his back.
"you'll get used to it."
luke sat up to see you climbing through the window.Â
you had a band-aid stuck on your chin, chipped nail polish the color of blackberries, and leather combat boots that looked way too heavy to be wearing in the heat of summer.Â
âthe shitty mattress?â
âi meant the whole chaos of cabin 11, and the way things work around here in general. if you can get used to the shitty mattress, all power to you.âÂ
your tone was friendly enough, playful even. you smiled at him so comfortably it made luke nauseous.Â
âgood to know.â he tried to smile back at you, but his heart wasnât in it. âiâm luke, by the way.â
âyeah, i know. iâm ââ
ây/n!â
you seemed entirely unfazed as the blond who called your name stormed over to you. you rolled your eyes, something only luke could notice, before turning to her.
âsomeone stole my candy.â
âiâm very sorry to hear that, maddy. gotta be careful around here.â your voice dripped like poisoned honey, deceptively innocent and sweet.
maddy was not having it. she huffed at you. âit was you, wasnât it?â
âthat depends. did you cheat at poker last night? again?âÂ
some of the chatter throughout the cabin paused, heads turning to listen in.Â
âwhat? n-no!âÂ
âthen you have your answer, maddy.â you exaggerated a sigh, as though you had already won the fight and were annoyed that she came back for more. ânow, if youâll excuse me, i have a new camper to show around.â
chiron had already given them a tour, but luke didnât protest when you grabbed his hand and pulled him out of the window with you. your hand was warm in his as you dragged him along to the corner of the cabin where a poorly made ladder waited for you.Â
âcome on.â you started climbing, and only stopped to look down when you realized luke wasnât following you. âbest view of camp. trust me.â
a shiver passed through luke. trust didnât come easy to him. he also didnât particularly want to return to a stuffy cabin where all he would do was count reasons he did not want to be there.
 so, luke followed you. he sat down next to you on the roof and looked out at the sun shining on his new home, but he couldn't help but be slightly bitter. the gods had gotten all of you into this life of endless danger and battles and monsters, and this was all they had to offer in return: a summer camp.Â
it just didn't seem fair.Â
there was something else he noticed then. what was it that chiron had said? camp half-blood was supposed to be a safe haven for all demigods.Â
âi donât get it. there are only twelve cabins, but arenât there, like, a million other gods?â
you straightened your posture then, and turned to luke with a newfound interest.Â
âcamp half-blood only has cabins representing the twelve olympians. apparently, theyâre the only ones important enough to have children worth recognizing, and they canât even do that half the time,â you explained, impertinence laced throughout your words. it seemed like something you could never quite get off your chest.Â
every demigod knew that the gods didnât appreciate sarcasm. they didnât particularly like being called out on their bullshit, either.
you didnât seem to care; you even rolled your eyes up at the sky, as if challenging zeus himself.Â
âanyways, thatâs why the hermes cabin is so crowded. it takes in campers who are unclaimed or whose parent doesnât have a cabin at camp. like me.â
âso, whoâs your godly parent?â
you fiddled with the leather cord on your neck. it held a few clay beads like the other campers, but there was one silver charm he noticed only you wore â scales, by the looks of it. you clutched onto it.
luke realized that, despite your own advice, maybe you resented having to get used to the way things worked around here, and having to hide your resentment. maybe that was worse than having to sleep on an uncomfortable bed for the rest of your life.
"nemesis. goddess of revenge."
"that's....hardcore."
you scoffed and moved on to twisting the silver ring on your index finger. "a lot of people take it that way, and i think it scares them a bit.â
âso thatâs why youâre extra nice to new campers, huh?âÂ
âno, i was just in a good mood today.â you smirked.
âguess i was just lucky, then.â
luke couldnât help but smile at your laugh â sharp, biting. you nudged your boot against his sneaker, which shifted you closer to him, shoulders practically touching.Â
âwhat people donât understand is that it's more about balance, you know? you do good things, and good things happen to you. at least, they should. you do bad things andâŠ.â you pulled out an outrageously big bag of candy, dropped it between you and luke, and winked at him. âyou face the consequences.âÂ
âthat makes sense.â luke leaned over to grab a handful of gummy bears. âlike karma.â
âyeah. exactly.âÂ
you bit the head off a red bear, both of you chewing in silence before you added:
âby the way, iâm sorry about your friend.â you swallowed and caught lukeâs gaze.Â
chiron warned him that word would travel fast around camp about what happened to thalia, and luke had prepared himself for anything â anything but your reaction. there was no pity in your eyes; instead, there was a hint of rage, as though thalia had been your friend, too.Â
âshe deserved more.âÂ
lukeâs eyes caught the glint of a knife strapped to your belt. he took another handful of the candy you stole, and he thought about the fire and fearlessness behind your words, and, despite everything, it felt right to be with you then and there.Â
âyeah,â he finally whispered back. âshe did.â
we all do.Â
neither of you said those words, but the suggestion was there, and it felt like a promise.Â
(ii. you hold on to every stupid, little detail)
âslow down, tiger.âÂ
your voice echoed throughout the arena, and if luke had been fighting a real opponent, it might have gotten him killed. instead, he just stopped mid-swing, sparing another straw dummy from losing its arm.Â
âleft hand,â you noted as you walked past him towards a bench. âyou, my friend, are in need of a break.â
luke loosened the grip on his sword. the only time luke fought with his non-dominant hand was when he had overworked the other. he must have switched an hour ago, but judging by how heavy his arm felt, it could have very well been two. Â
his curls were stuck to his forehead with sweat, his shirt soaked through. he could feel a dull pain behind his eyes, and luke was worried that if he stopped to catch his breath, he would pass out. or, even worse, have to face the reality of the shitty news heâd gotten early that day.Â
âcome sit with me,â you urged. âyouâre exhausted, tiger.âÂ
luke bristled at your nickname for him.Â
sure, luke loved that there was something only you called him, a secret kept between you in plain sight, but it was also a reminder that it was harder to hide behind the hero act when you were around.
everyone else at camp figured the nickname was a playful attempt at calling him strong and charismatic. the truth was that luke once told you that his favorite cereal as a kid was frosted flakes and that he would dream of playing sports as well as tony the tiger. for better or for worse, like most things, you wouldnât let it go.Â
case in point: if it was anybody other than you trying to get him to take a break, luke could have just brushed them off with a charming smile and continued swordfighting until his arms fell off, but in the two years since meeting you, luke had never met anyone as stubborn and convincing. like him, it seemed you were willing to fight and shed blood to get your way. luke was never really in the mood to make you bleed, even when feeling like he could burn the entire world down, so he usually gave in to your demands. Â
as soon as he sat down next to you, you handed him an orange flavored energy drink â his favorite. anything other than water was hard to come by at camp without the enchanted goblets in the dining pavilion, or the right connection in the hermes cabin. he ran out of his stash the other day, but you must have noticed and gotten one of the stoll brothers to smuggle more in.Â
âthanks,â luke said, ignoring the jolt of electricity that passed through him when your fingers brushed together briefly.Â
 the two of you looked out at the sword arena, and all the straw dummies that luke had destroyed. you wait for him to take three big gulps of his drink before speaking again.Â
âi guess chiron and your dad decided you werenât ready for a quest.â
luke exhaled sharply. âhow did you ââ
âthe only time youâd skip out on capture the flag is if something really shitty happened.â you looked down at lukeâs clenched fists, and that seemed to be all the confirmation you needed. âyou promised annabeth you'd be there, and it's not like you to let her down."
fuck. he had completely forgotten that tonight was annabeth's first time as team captain. this entire week, she had been prepping a winning strategy. it wasnât like annabeth needed him to win, but luke was her big brother, and he should have been there. you were right â he had let her down.Â
the realization made lukeâs day go from bad to worse.Â
"i told her you were helping a new camper with an emergency. she didn't believe it, but she adjusted her strategy and we still won.â
âwell, thank the gods everything worked in the end,â luke grumbled.Â
âdonât thank the gods,â you quipped. âthank annabeth chase for her brilliant mind, and me for covering for your sorry ass.â
when luke didnât indulge in your usual playful banter, you moved closer to him and brushed some curls away from his eyes. your skin warmed his forehead, and the small gesture made him feel better than he had all day.
âlook, iâm not going to give you some bullshit inspirational speech about how the gods donât get to define what a hero is, or how you donât need a quest to prove that youâre worthy of being one. weâve each been through that before, and i have a feeling this wonât be our last time, either.â
âthen why are you here?â the question came out harsher than luke had intended it to.
âbecause sheâs trying her best to hide it, but annabeth is really hurt that you didnât show up for the game. i figured the least you could do is suck it up, come to the campfire, and make her those signature luke castellan sâmores. you could probably use one, too, since you havenât eaten anything since breakfast.âÂ
you were right, again. luke was exhausted, he was furious, but most of all, he was starving. Â
later that night, luke sat next to annabeth and vowed to make her as many sâmores as she wanted. youâd gone to sit with the hephaestus kids, trying to convince beckendorf and nyssa to join your cabinâs post-campfire party at the beach, even though they had to work in the forges early the next morning.Â
when chiron made his weekly speech, congratulating the winners of capture the flag and thanking the gods for keeping everyone safe, you and luke caught each otherâs gaze from across the fire. you rolled your eyes and luke bit back a smile as you turned back to beckendorf. he noticed your knees were practically touching. did you sit that close to everyone?Â
luke was looking at you for so long that the marshmallow he was roasting fell into the fire, despite annabethâs warnings. she handed him another one.Â
"you should tell her how you feel," annabeth said. "stop being a coward."Â
whether it was the smell of burnt sugar, the heat of the fire, or annabethâs comment, luke started to feel dizzy. he did his best to shake it off, asking annabeth for a play-by-play of her strategy earlier that night, but he couldnât quite get rid of the thought of you.Â
(iii. you don't care if your clothes are stained with blood)
âi justâŠ.i canât fucking believe you, luke.â
âi donât get why youâre so upset â youâve never cared about quests before.â
luke was hoping to break the news to you after capture the flag. unfortunately for him, word travels fast around camp.Â
annabeth had the two of you scouting the east side for the flag, while she and some other athena kids took the west. you hadnât found anything so far, which meant that youâd spent the better part of an hour bickering over lukeâs choice of companions for his quest. a choice that included charles beckendorf and chris rodriguez, and purposefully did not include you, much to your fury. Â
before you could continue arguing, luke heard the sound of footsteps approaching. he looked over to you, and you already had your shield and sword at the ready.Â
a few red defenders emerged from the trees. one charged at luke, but you stepped in so he could deal with the other two. one of his opponents went down fairly easily, but the other put up much more of a fight. metal clashed behind him as you kept fighting as well. you might not have been as skilled a swordfighter as luke, but he knew that you could hold your own, at least until he was finished with the person in front of him.Â
luke parried his opponentâs strike, causing them to take a step closer. he was preparing to disarm them, just as he heard you yelp and stumble to the ground. it only took a millisecond of his attention, but it gave his opponent the opportunity to elbow him in the face. luke felt a crack upon impact, and pain radiated from his nose; he powered through.Â
he had to finish this fight, and he had to do it fast. you needed him.Â
his ears were ringing as he finally knocked over his opponent, kicking away their sword and keeping his foot on their chest. luke turned around to see you having turned the tides, the blade of your sword dangerously close to your opponentâs neck.
you locked eyes with luke, and you both understood â it was time to go. the two of you ran through the forest, as far away as you could before having to stop and catch your breath.
luke removed his helmet to get some air, and dropped his weapons. you did the same. you looked at him, brows furrowed.
âyour nose.â
luke licked his lips, tasting blood. the triumph of winning that last fight overshadowed the ache of his potentially broken nose. in fact, he liked the image of a ruthless warrior emerging from the glory and gore of battle, that even though he did not bleed ichor like a god, he still had power.Â
you, on the other hand, didnât look impressed. instead, you stepped forward and offered the sleeve of your shirt to wipe away the blood.Â
âyou donât have to ââ
âi know you think youâre a badass walking around all broken and bloody, but you shouldnât deny your admirers your pretty face,â you teased.Â
it was no secret that luke had numerous admirers around camp, a fact you loved to tease him about. he was sure that you relished in how flustered that made him. all you had to call him was pretty boy, and luke could be reduced to a blushing mess.Â
it was pathetic how much power you had over him.
âbesides, i wouldnât have gotten out of that last fight if you hadnât taught me that disarming technique earlier. i owe you. itâs what we do. we take care of each other, right?â
he couldnât argue with that.
a few moments of silence passed as you cleaned his face. something shifted as you worked, the flirtatious grin fading away. when you pulled away, your sleeve was stained a dark crimson.Â
âjust tell me honestly,â you finally murmured. âwhy don't you want me to join your quest?âÂ
luke was genuinely taken aback by the softness of your voice, now devoid of its usual fire. you wouldnât meet lukeâs eyes, but being that close to you, he noticed they were slightly glazed over.
he had expected you to be angry at his decision. he expected you to yell and argue and try to change his mind. luke hadnât expected you to be so hurt. so broken.Â
he hadnât planned on it, but luke decided to tell you the truth then.
âlook, karma, if you come with me, my heart wouldnât fully be in the quest. iâd be so caught up inâŠ.well, you.â
a pause.
âis that a bad thing?â
ânot usually, no.âÂ
you smirked a little at that, and lukeâs heart skipped a beat. it also made his decision even clearer.Â
âbut i need to be focused for this. i needâŠ.â he let out a deep sigh. âi need to prove myself. this is my first real chance, and i canât fuck it up.â
you met his gaze and smiled brightly at him, your signature spark of confidence returning. Â
âyou wonât.â
you reached a hand up to play with his necklace. luke hadnât noticed how close youâd gotten until your fingers started tracing over those four clay beads. it made his entire body burst into flames.
âiâve been wanting to do something for a while. and, aphrodite save me, it might be really stupid, but ââ
luke took a lucky guess as to where you were going, and crashed his lips against yours. aphrodite knows that he'd been wanting to do that for a while, too.Â
he often got drunk on the adrenaline of battle, the glory of winning, but nothing was quite like the rush of kissing you for the first time.Â
it was messy and urgent, both of you aware that, at any moment, you could be interrupted. your noses were bumping together, teeth clacking against each other. the metallic tang of blood lingered on lukeâs tongue, but neither of you seemed to care. you even bit his lip slightly, as if you wanted more. armor sat heavy and cold between your chests, preventing you from getting closer. luke had never loathed the protective gear more.Â
he made up for it by lodging one hand underneath your jaw, and snaking the other beneath the celestial bronze, beneath the cotton of your shirt, admiring how your pulse quickened under his thumb when he grazed the soft skin of your stomach. you tangled your hands into his hair, nails scraping against his scalp. he groaned and felt you smirk against his lips.Â
luke had kissed a few people before, sure, but never like this: like a knife to the gut, and if you pulled away, luke would surely bleed out and die.Â
it wouldnât be a heroâs death, in the traditional sense, but at least heâd die happy.Â
how many heroes could claim that?
when luke ran out of air, feeling like his lungs were burning, he had to pull away.Â
you glanced down at lukeâs kiss-bitten lips, then back to his eyes. luke flushed under the intensity of your gaze.Â
âjust promise me something, tiger,â you whispered, voice hoarse.Â
âanything.â
âcome back alive.â
luke leaned forward and placed another kiss on your lips, this one much gentler than before.
âi promise.â
(iv. you love like a scar that won't fade)
the nightmares were getting worse.Â
luke woke up in a cold sweat, taking gulps of air in an attempt to steady his breathing.
âluke.âÂ
your whisper did little to quell the pit of dread growing in his stomach, but it did enough to bring him back down to reality.Â
he was at camp half-blood (fuck the gods of olympus), in the hermes cabin (fuck you, dad), in a bed next to yours (fuck, if he could tell you what â who â was going through his head, he would).
âiâmâŠiâm fine,â he murmured back, voice catching slightly on the lie.Â
like clockwork, you shifted from your bed to his, slipping under the covers. it didnât matter that it was a hot summer night, and the minute your legs touched his, he could feel himself starting to overheat.Â
your thumb brushed over the thick edge of his scar, up his cheekbone to the corner of his eye. it had been a year, living with this reminder. a reminder that he had failed, just as much as his father and the olympians had failed him.Â
luke tried to pretend that he didnât come back from his quest as a shell of who he once was. after all, it was meant to be his shining moment as a demigod, meant to gain him all the glory and fatherâs praise he once wished for.Â
what a fucking joke.
every morning, luke would crawl into a different skin. he welcomed new campers and taught sword-fighting. he laughed with chris and his other siblings and strategized with annabeth for capture the flag. he would be the easy-going, charming, skillful senior counselor who respected the gods and honored them in everything he did.Â
again: a fucking joke.
nights were different, though, with you so close to him, you who could always see right through him.
every night, luke was a fourteen-year old boy again, with so much rage and resentment he didn't know what to do with it.Â
of course, you were always you - a bleeding heart underneath layers of armor. you didn't care about fate, or the gods, or the titans. you cared about justice, you cared about what was right and fair.Â
most of all, you cared about luke.
âyou were screaming,â you told him, voice barely cutting through the soft snores and sleeptalkings of your other cabinmates.Â
âsorry,â he managed. looking at you in the dull moonlight, luke noticed the deep shadows under your eyes.Â
âitâs fine. you justâŠ.you scared me, tiger.âÂ
your hand still rested on his cheek, and for a second, luke hoped you would kiss him, but you didnât. instead, you told him to try and get some sleep, and sank further into his bed before closing your eyes.Â
for the hundredth night in a row, luke hoped you couldnât hear his heart hammering in his chest as you fell asleep next to him.
but, at what cost?
since coming back from his quest, luke didnât have it in him to suggest being anything other than friends, and you didnât push it. there had been a few....moments between you, sure, but nothing more.
luke thought you might have changed your mind, because who would want to be with a bitter, worthless, wannabe hero? then again, that voice haunting his dreamsâŠ. luke could change that.Â
(v. you protect people as ruthlessly as a starving dog)
luke could hear you talking to percy jackson outside. though he couldnât quite determine what was being said, as much as he tried.
you entered the bathroom and instantly caught lukeâs eyes in the mirror. you were wearing your faded pyjama shorts with cartoon crows, and a flannel shirt that luke had a sneaking suspicion might have been his. you smiled at him before setting up at the counter, one sink between you.Â
âwhat was that about?â luke asked after spitting out a mouthful of minty toothpaste.
âoh, nothing.â you were searching through your toiletry bag for something, and seemed to come up short. âhey, do you have any extra dental floss?â
luke threw some over to you. as you effortlessly caught it, he noticed your knuckles, bruised and bloodied.
âwhat happened?âÂ
you finished flossing and briefly examined your hands before pulling out your toothbrush.Â
âitâs not a big deal,â you assured. âsome ares kids were picking on percy, and then they started pushing him around, like, really pushing him around, soâŠ.âÂ
â....you decided to send them to the infirmary.â
you squeezed some toothpaste on your brush before continuing. âi donât need you to lecture me about how i shouldnât be fighting with other campers because iâve been here longer and i should be a good role model. you know what a good role model does? not let kids beat up other kids and think the worst punishment theyâll get is no dessert for a week.â
luke watched carefully as you jammed the toothbrush in your mouth and brushed with such force, he was worried your teeth might dislodge. he knew that you would shed blood for someone you loved, and that you didnât particularly care if you had to break rules in doing so, because you believed that what was written was not necessarily what was right.Â
in fact, luke loved that about you.
no, it wasnât the fighting that luke cared about â it was who you were fighting for.Â
percy was a good kid, he really was. luke just didnât want you getting attached.Â
âi wasnât going to lecture you. iâm guessing chiron already did?âÂ
you nodded and spat out what looked like a combination of toothpaste and blood. you rinsed your mouth until the water lost its pinkish hue. once you were done, luke continued his train of thought.
âi just didnât realize you cared so much about him.â
âabout percy?âÂ
luke could tell that he didnât have your full attention. you were packing your stuff back up, accidentally tossing lukeâs dental floss into your bag, but he had more pressing matters to deal with.
âyeah. the kidâs only been at camp for three days, and youâre already acting like his guard dog.â
you finally turned to luke and glared at him.Â
âmaybe. but percyâs sweet and he doesnât seem like the type to put up with bullshit. heâs been through a lot, and annabeth seems to like him, too. as far as iâm concerned, percyâs one of us, and iâm not going to let anyone push him around.â
luke raised an eyebrow at you. âheâs sweet?â
âyeah. like, just now, he gave me some blue raspberry jelly beans as a thank you. said his mom used to work at a candy store. he also wanted me to apologize to you for him. he feels bad about beating you in sword-fighting earlier.âÂ
you scoffed, like you resented luke for having to apologize to him on percyâs behalf. you definitely did not appreciate that guard dog comment. luke clenched his jaw, seething over what you had just said.Â
satisfied with his reaction, you gave luke that nauseating smile of yours, tilted your head towards the exit. a truce, because you never liked to fight with luke for too long, and a order, because you knew luke would always follow.Â
the two of you began walking back to your cabin in the warm mid-june air.Â
âi wouldnât say he beat me,â luke huffed. âit was beginnerâs luck.â
âsure, tiger. it was beginnerâs luck that disarmed the best swordsman weâve had in the last 300 years.â
you nudged lukeâs shoulder with yours, but he recoiled from your touch.Â
âare you trying to make me feel worse?â luke tried his best to avoid snapping at you, keeping his tone measured.
âiâm just saying that maybe the kid has natural talent and that doesnât make you any less talented. thereâs no need to get jealous.â
luke resisted the urge to growl at your suggestion.Â
to be clear, he was not jealous. itâs just that luke had spent years of blood, sweat, and tears getting to where he was then, and percy jackson had just gotten to camp.Â
and, to be even more clear, luke was not jealous of how you were already defending percy with your whole body and your whole heart, the way you did for him.Â
by then, you reached the front of the hermes cabin. luke could already hear the commotion of what he would need to deal with as soon as he walked in. the burden of being head counselor, one he approached with an elastic smile that could snap at any moment.Â
you tugged on lukeâs sleeve before he could open the door.Â
âhey. are we okay?â
luke looked down at your fingers grasping the fabric of a sweatshirt he was just realizing was yours. your nails were painted a dark red, now chipped after a week of wear. you had begged luke to paint his nails then, and once again, he gave in. he even started to like the purple you had chosen just for him, so deep it was almost black. the same color you were wearing the first time you and luke met.
he smiled at the memory â a real smile, no plastic â and then smiled back up at you.
âweâre fine, karma.â and he moved to enter the cabin. luke could hear the threat of an argument bubbling up, what sounded like a petty one over a prank gone wrong.
âwait.â you tugged at his (your) sweatshirt once more. âthereâs something i wanted to talk to you about, about tomorrow nightââ
âannabeth called a meeting during free time.â
âyeah, i know, itâs just ââ
âsheâll run through strategy for capture the flag then.â
âone of the aphrodite senior campers asked me to the campfire,â you blurted it out, and luke decided to ignore the sound of a fight breaking out from behind the wooden door.
what in the name of hades were you talking about?
âthey asked you out? likeâŠlike aâŠ.â luke didnât even want to speak the word, scared it would make it real.
âa date,â you said casually, as if that one word didnât rip lukeâs heart in a million pieces. âi said yes.â an admission that took all those pieces and set them on fire.Â
sure, in the five years since you and luke met, youâd each talked about boys, about girls, about dating and kissing them and going further. but there was something about this one that felt different. something about the way you told him.
âbut, listen, i wanted to let you know itâs not ââ
âgood for you,â was all luke said through gritted teeth before someone started calling his name again, louder and more urgently, and he had to duck inside. Â
(vi. you taste like burning cherries and righteous anger)
your team had won capture the flag, of course. the biggest news of the evening, though: percy jackson was the son of the sea god.Â
he was a forbidden child, the hero of the great prophecy.Â
everything was falling into place.Â
all luke should be thinking about is kronosâ plan, and his role in it, and how a world without the gods of olympus was that much more in reach. Â
unfortunately, for the time being, he was so consumed by you.Â
you, from across the campfire, sporting cutoff denim shorts and fresh wounds from the game earlier. you, who had wrapped your knuckles in gauze, concealing their bruising, fixed the chips in your nail polish and stacked rings on your fingers. (for the record: luke had gifted you the one on your left thumb.) you, with dark lips that whispered too closely and laughed too loudly with a child of aphroditeâ jordan li.
you hadnât so much as looked at luke since congratulating each other on another win. when chiron announced his weekly gratitude to the gods at the start of that nightâs campfire, you didnât punctuate your resentment with your usual eye-roll or biting remark. you were too busy giggling at something jordan said.
luke wanted to be the one to whisper jokes in your ear. he wanted to be the one you left lipstick stains on later, along his jaw and down his neck. he wanted to be the one who kissed the blade mark on your shoulder and the bruises on your knuckles.Â
and yet, hours passed and it seemed that the thought of luke had never so much as crossed your mind. he found himself at an after hours party with a few senior campers on the beach. a lethal recipe: a poorly crafted bonfire, some contraband drinks and you in jordan liâs lap, playing with their hair and pretending luke castellan did not exist.Â
meanwhile, luke had katie gardnerâs full attention. she was talking to him about the strawberry season, potentially leaning a bit too close into lukeâs personal space, definitely flirting with him.Â
luke could have done a lot worse than the head counselor of the demeter cabin, who always smelled like fresh lavender, whose eyes were the bright green of spring grass and whose lips tasted like golden honey.Â
the problem was that luke only wanted you, and his eyes kept sliding over to where you were kissing jordanâs cheek, and he accidentally called the girl he was kissing by your name, which did not make her happy.Â
katie threw her drink in his face, told him to wake the fuck up, and walked away.
a chorus of gasps and chuckles erupted as luke stood there, diet coke and vodka seeping into his shirt. the commotion seemed to capture your attention, because you suddenly appeared next to luke, an empty bottle of cherry soda in your hand.
ârough night, tiger?â your voice, that nickname, made luke sick, his face twisting into a frown. you donât seem to notice or care. instead, you switched your bottle with lukeâs and took a sip.
âlooks like you were having a pretty good time,â luke practically sneered. âwhereâs your date?âÂ
 âthey went to bed.â you swallowed a mouthful of beer, grimacing at its bitterness. âgods, this is terrible. you and i should go on the drink run next time â we have better taste.â
âso, are you and jordan like a thing now?â
you gave luke a smile he didnât quite understand, but made his stomach churn in ways only you could. âwould that be a problem?â
âof course not.â he answered way too quickly for that to be true.Â
âletâs get out of here,â you suggested. âi think katie is about this close to strangling you with a tree branch.â
luke glanced over your shoulder to where green eyes glared back at him.Â
nowhere could luke find it in him to care. he wasnât even sorry. he just shrugged, took the bottle back from you, took his first sip all night. luke almost gagged (because of course you were right, and the stoll brothers had better fake ids than they had taste) but he suppressed it.Â
âno. iâm good.â
biggest lie he ever said. like there wasnât anger caught in his throat and jealousy swelling between his ribs.
âgo find jordan,â he taunted. âkiss them, show them a good time! isnât that the reason why you got all pretty?â
you narrowed your eyes at him carefully. your nostrils were slightly flared, and luke took a bit of pride in being able to rile you up.
âlook, we havenât really talked lately, and i think we should.â
âgo find jordan,â he mocked once more. âalmost all the aphrodite kids are here, and iâm sure you can be quiet enough to sneak into their cabin and if you want a quick fuââ
âluke.â you clipped his name, obviously getting to the limit of your patience with him. âif you want to stay here all night and be an asshole, youâre welcome to. you should know, though, that your happy-go-lucky hero mask is starting to crack and i donât know if you could deal with the fallout from it shattering completely.â
you leaned in close and whispered that last part, very aware of the chattering that stopped and the eyes that watched the pair of you anxiously. luke was usually good at hiding that part of himself who wanted to burn the world down.Â
in ways you didnât realize, you were right: he couldnât risk revealing it, not now.
not yet.Â
âdo whatever you want, castellan,â you spat out his last name, the combination of letters foreign in your mouth.âiâm leaving.â
luke should be proud of himself. he waited a whole two seconds before following you like a stray dog.Â
luke didnât know if heâd ever felt you that enraged by him, and it horrified him. it also made him hungry for more.Â
âiâm not sure that jordan would want the two of us alone together at night,â he shouted after you, words echoing into the starless sky.
âgods, enough about jordan!â luke practically ran into you with how fast you turned around to confront him. âi was helping them with that stupid aphrodite tradition!â
âyouâŠ.â luke faltered, all the snark leaving his body. âwhat?â
luke remembered silena beauregard once explaining the rite of passage to him: to prove themselves, a child of aphrodite had to make someone fall in love with them, and then break their heart.
âwhyâŠwhy would you agree to do that?â
you had reached the dining area by then, and you sat on one of the steps leading to the pavilion. luke stayed a few feet away, looking at you cautiously.Â
âjordan and i are already friends, and they figured a fake relationship would be the way to avoid anyone from actually getting hurt in the process.â
âyou seemed soâŠso into it, though,â luke stammered, the memory of you in jordanâs lap, laughter bubbling from your lips, still fresh.
âitâs called acting, dumbass.â the camp didnât rely on electricity, but there were enough torches around that luke could see you roll your eyes. âanyways, i was trying to give you a heads-up last night, but you wouldnât listen.â you took a deep breath. âand, honestly, i didnât push it becauseâŠ.i figured i should test a hypothesis.â
a hypothesis? youâd known annabeth for too long.
âwhat hypothesis?â
you hesitated.Â
âit doesnât matter. fuck, this was stupid,â you muttered, and without another word, stormed through the dining pavilion, a short cut to the hermes cabin. your footsteps fell heavy against the marble, and lukeâs not far behind.Â
âwhat hypothesis?â he asked again.
nothing but rushed footsteps.
âwhat hypothesis?â luke finally yelled.
third time was the charm, because you stopped in your tracks and faced luke once again. a fire burned in the bronze brazier, where campers were forced to offer up portions of your food to the gods at every meal. its roaring seemed to captivate you, and the flames danced across your face, illuminating all your curves and edges.
âiâm angry at the gods,â you stated.Â
this caught luke off guard. from the day the two of you met, luke knew you shared that feeling. youâd gotten quieter with your rage as youâd gotten older. luke supposed he got better at hiding it himself, as well.Â
âiâm angry at the gods for letting bad shit happen even if they can stop it, and for building this world in the fucked up way they did. iâm angry at your dad for the way heâs treated you, but â you, luke castellan.â you finally met lukeâs eyes with a gaze so sharp, luke almost felt himself bleed. âiâm also angry at you, and not just for your bullshit tonight.âÂ
your admission felt like a punch to the stomach, and luke was left with no air to breathe.
did you know?
âyou havenât been the same since your quest,â you continued, words slow and deliberate, the way you spoke when you were worried your voice would shake. âand iâve come to terms with that in the past few years, but youâŠ.youâve never tried to ice me out before. youâve been acting distant since december, and itâs been driving me insane. do you realize how much i miss my best âŠ..â you swallowed the word friend. âhow much i miss you?â
luke hesitated, because what could he say? i know iâve been distant, but iâve been busy trying to start a war between the gods. sorry babe!Â
would you hate him, if you knew?Â
you had to have known that, despite the distance, luke missed you. for tartarus sake, in the last two days, heâd driven himself mad at you calling a twelve year old boy sweet, and he was about to combust at the image of you dating someone else, with little care as to the collateral damage.Â
"you can't just avoid me, makeout with katie fucking gardner, and thenâŠ.â you trailed off, hiding your face in your hands. whether it was to hide embarrassment or tears, luke wasnât sure.
a smirk spread across lukeâs face at the revelation that he hadnât been the only one jealous at the bonfire that night. it lit luke up with the confidence he needed to not completely fall to his knees in front of you, beg for your forgiveness for everything heâs done.
âwhy do you care if i make out with katie fucking gardner?âÂ
as he waited for a response, luke walked towards you until your back hit one of the marble columns.Â
âwhy do you care if iâm with jordan fucking li?â you clenched your jaw and looked right through luke. a clear indication that you wanted him to break down first; it wouldnât be you who yielded this fight.
âbecause i want to be the one youâre with.â at that point, luke was so close to you that he swore he could hear your heartbeat. he reached out and played with the hem of your shorts. âwhy do you care if i make out with katie gardner?â
âbecause.â you drew in a sharp breath when lukeâs fingers brushed underneath the denim, across the warm skin of your thigh. you closed your eyes. âdonât make me say it, tiger.âÂ
the desperation in your voice made luke want to do unholy things with you, to you. luke knew you didnât think of him as a saint, and you never expected him to be one. the reality was that you werenât much better, either. what was essentially an altar to the gods burned bright next to you, but it seemed neither of you had ever cared less about it than in that moment.Â
luke would watch olympus fall. he would dethrone the gods and watch their glass castle shatter and find glory in a new world. in the grand scheme of things, he was willing to lose this battle.
in fact, he would have rather betrayed the titan lord himself than waste another second not kissing your lips.Â
so, he kissed you, and you kissed him back with such force, such hunger, it was ungodly.
no, you certainly werenât a saint â but you were divine, in the most brutal, intoxicating way. in the way you shuddered when luke lodged a leg between your thighs; in the way you threaded your fingers through the belt loops of his jeans to bring him closer; in the way the metal of your rings burned through the skin of his hip, right to the bone, which made him shudder, and you smile triumphantly against his jaw.
the more he tasted your smirk flavored by cherry soda and the ashes of nearby flames, the more he felt your feral teeth against his neck and your wicked nails digging into his shoulders, the more you tugged on his curls, the more luke thought: maybe.Â
maybe you would give into your seething resentment, live up to those eye-rolls and snarky comments that got you in trouble with chiron, on the edge of hot water with the gods. maybe you would join the titan army. maybe, just maybe, this time, you would follow luke.
and yet â maybe wasnât enough if it meant he could lose this. luke wouldnât risk it, not until he kissed every battle scar and bruise on your body, and you did the same to his.Â
âwait.â
it was the last thing luke wanted to do, but he complied. he took the opportunity to appreciate the chaos he created: your shirt in disarray, your lipstick a mess, your chest heaving and desperate to catch a breath.Â
âi promised jordan that weâd keep up our charade for a week, two at the most. do think we could keep thisâŠâ you tightened your fist around the fabric of his shirt. âa secret until then?â
luke responded by pressing his lips to yours once more, because there were definitely worse secrets to keep.
(vii. you wouldnât hesitate to make him bleed)
luke had just left percy jackson to die.
he should be leaving camp, now, but he needed to see you one last time.Â
the universe works in mysterious ways, because you were out on a run through the forest, and you crossed paths before he even had time to wonder where you were.
âhey, tiger.â you smiled as if this was a regular afternoon. the two of you would teach your afternoon activities, sneak away during dinner so luke could kiss you in that spot that made you gasp. âwanna join me? i was just wrapping up, but i could be convinced to go longer.â
for a second, he was tempted to. very tempted.Â
âi donât have much time.â
you seemed to notice lukeâs sullen mood and you dropped your playful demeanor.Â
luke explained: the messages from kronos in his dreams, him stealing the lightning bolt and helm of darkness to start a war between the gods and framing percy. the plan to destroy olympus that luke had pledged his life to.
percy was surprised at what luke had done, and luke could imagine that the rest of camp would be, too. luke was the golden boy of camp half-blood, everyoneâs big brother.Â
you, on the other hand, didnât express any sense of shock.Â
âluke.â you said his name like you werenât quite sure it was poison. âiâm going to give you five seconds to tell me that youâre joking.â
five seconds of silence passed. you took a few steps back from luke.
âiâŠ.i should have told you sooner.â
âyeah,â you scoffed. âyou should have. but, you didnât. did it feel good, having the titan king whispering sweet nothings in your ear? all the lies about how this war is the only way to get the glory you so desperately want? itâs fucking delusional.âÂ
âitâs not delusionalââ
âyes, it is!â you glared at him. âyouâre on the wrong side of a war you made the mistake of starting.â
luke straightened his posture, thinking about how hypocritical you were being.Â
âisnât this what youâre all about? revenge, karma. your mom will probably join us, too. donât you want to see the gods finally get what they deserve?â
ânot like this. i canât believe how desperate you are, to believe that kronos is going to make everything right. itâs pathetic,â you spat. âiâm not saying the gods donât deserve to be taken down a notch. their fucking obsession with power and gloryâŠ.itâs sick and twisted, but i donât think your titan king is any better. i donât think you are any better.âÂ
âitâs time that the gods fall. this is the only way, even if it isnât perfect,â luke countered. his voice was firmer now as he absorbed your anger. your mother was the goddess of revenge, but you clearly didn't understand the sacrifices, pain, and blood that was required to make the world a better place. Â
luke just needed to convince you.
âweâve talked about this for years,â he continued. ânothing is balanced! thereâs no justice here, for anyone. we can build a better world where we donât have to burn our scraps and throw ourselves at monsters to get attention. we can fight together like we always have. y/n, i loveââ
âdonât,â you snapped. âdonât you fucking dare. you should have died on your quest.â your voice laced with venom. one hand gripping the knife you always kept on your belt. âthat dragon should have fucking sliced through you and saved up all the trouble.â
something pricked in the back of his throat, down to his stomach.
âyou donât mean that.â
âi do,â you promised. âat least you would have died with all of us thinking youâre a hero instead of the traitor you really are.â
you unsheathed your knife, took a fighting stance.Â
âiâm not going to fight you,â was all luke could say. he noticed your hand tremble, and you tightened the grip on your knife to prevent emotion from slipping through your invisible armor.Â
you could jam the weapon into lukeâs heart, and it would hurt less than everything you just said, less than the murderous look you were giving him, like he was just another monster you wouldnât think twice about sending to tartarus.
luke didnât even have a chance to unsheathe his sword before you charged at him, but he quickly had you pinned to the ground, the tip of your own knife pointed at you. he hesitated. the blade pressed harder against your cheek than he intended, enough to break the skin and let a few droplets of dark crimson escape.Â
âplease come with me,â he pleaded. you didnât answer, but you did seem surprised by the softness of his voice.Â
a few moments passed, the celestial bronze still between you. luke waited for you to see his way, to yield to his proposal.
you didnât. instead, you took advantage of the situation. you wrapped your leg around his and flipped your position. in the process, you regained possession of your knife. without the hesitation that held luke back, you sliced through his cheek, deep. luke bit his lip to suppress a groan, tasting blood. your gaze set his whole body on fire as he waited for your next move. that was when you glanced down at his camp necklace, and the new clay bead added to commemorate this summer.
a turquoise trident.
âpercy told me he was on his way to see you,â you realized. âwhat did you do?â
luke didnât answer. he knew then that a choice ran through your head.Â
and it stung, just a little, watching you sprint away through the trees in a last ditch effort to save percyâs life.Â
there was a small, pathetic part of luke that wanted you to choose him, even if it meant you would have plunged the knife into his chest.
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