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pepay-wanders · 7 years
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Window Stills
Silliman University, Dumaguete City
February 14, 2017
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pepay-wanders · 7 years
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Bush Beauties
Silliman University, Dumaguete City
February 14, 2017
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pepay-wanders · 7 years
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WALKING AWAY
So yes, I did feel a lot of remorse during that specific period in time. It reached that point where I was drowning and I felt that everything I believed in was a lie. Nobody knew, not even you. There were too many things that happened. I can’t even remember when and how it all ended.
You see, I always have many thoughts in my mind. I was anxious of other people’s opinions that I did not even think of how I really felt. I was more anxious of what I felt because it was a first for me and I don’t know how things would turn out. 
I was so scared. So scared that I forgot to cherish the good memories. That time when everybody turned their backs on me, you were there and you were happy to be by my side. But I was not. Although I was overwhelmed of your revelations, I really did not believe you at all. Maybe that was the reason why, when you finally had your last ounce of patience, it was so easy of you to change your mind and walk away.
So yes, I did feel quite relieved during that point in time. That moment when you decided to go on your own, I was able to breath again. I took that as a sign from the Almighty that you were the mistake I made. And yet, the best lesson I learned so far. Through you, I was able to guard my heart well and focus more on my happiness. 
You see, I had more time for myself. I poured all my heart out to things I want to do. I was less anxious of what people think because I am on my own. I am my own person and there is lesser emotional baggage to carry. 
I was alone. So alone that I did cherish all that I had, the good or the bad. That time when everybody had somebody to lean on, you weren’t there and you were happy to be with someone else. And I was happy for you. Although you might not believe this, I really am happy and grateful for all that happened. 
Maybe that was the reason why, when I finally accepted that you were just meant to be a lesson in my life, it became easy for me to change my heart and walk away.
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pepay-wanders · 7 years
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I guess I asked for his company Because I needed a friend While making sure I don’t Give my heart in the process Not knowing that what I have been keeping for myself Was all he ever wanted
m.p.f., Realizations of a 20-year old
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pepay-wanders · 7 years
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I DARE YOU TO MOVE
I am absolutely not the type of person to take risks. Nor am I the one who initiates some task to be done. One of my greatest anomalies as a person is my inability to push myself forward - towards opportunities, chances to step up for myself or even actions to carry out simply what I wanted to do. 
While others are already in the path they want it life, here I am, contemplating on the next step without even knowing where I should be headed. In simple terms, I am lost. My idea of success is knowing your goal in life and achieving it. But as of now, considering all that happened, I am not even on the track. I’m still on the sidelines waiting for someone to slap me and make me realize that I should get off of my feet. And start moving. 
Therefore, I dare myself to “move” this year. Although I may be late when it comes to self preparations, I will do my best to step out of my boundaries and work on my goal. I plan to take up Medicine after 1 year of hiatus from Clinical Laboratory Textbooks. It has been my dream to be a doctor. 
For now, I succumb to enjoying all things life has to offer while also preparing myself for this big decision of studying again. I may have been hesitant before, but I know in my heart I can do this if I really push myself. It’s all about starting. 
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