Last year, today I went our with my brother and his friends and obviously I got bored so I called him if he would join and he came.

So me and him went to gangaur ghat and there we had pani puri. So like he didn't wanna have pani puri so I asked bhaiya to just give one plate and the bhaiya thought we having from one plate only and I fed him with my hands and then we went to ghat and sat there with our feet in water while admiring the chand and then later we went to have kulfi there and after taking kulfi we again went to ghat side like where there was no one just two of us and the only sound was of ours, waves and of bells ringing in temple and we were just laughing and looking at the chand and were kinda playing and it was all so surreal and euphoric.

Okay chand is like witness of the love we shared. Tho rn things are not good but there was the time when it was all like a fairy tale and someone would dream to have.

Last year today's tithi and last year today, both are a special memories to me. Like fr I'm smiling from morning remembering those moments.

So the tithi that's nav varsh okay so last year nav varsh me and him went on a drive and night before it too he dropped me home and we were roaming around and I can never ever forget those drives with him like fr and as I always say now when I think about those moments they feel like a dream. Like ukw he was driving with his one hand while holding me from behind with his another hand and he told me itna sukoon aaj tk nhi mila khi

And about last year today he came to my home to play badminton with me and that day I introduced him to my mother. After done playing badminton we sat in the room and were gossiping and we went lil cozy like 😭 and that night he called me saying ha abhi mile pr vapis yaad aa rhi h 😭🧿

Those were the days fr fr fr

Everyone talking about that orange peel thing so it reminded me of this like 😭🧿🫀

Hey hey hey so it was the day when we got together.

Like as if you have read my last blog you know he called me and expressed his love and told me he wanted to be with me but that time he was drunk so I didn't take him seriously and then later on last year, today I asked him and look how he was teasing me 😭

Like I couldn't express it in words that how happy and flattered I was. I was beyond cloud 9 😭❤🧿

But today it's just me holding back all the memories and longing for him and waiting for the day when everything will get better again between us and surely it will radharani will surely make this happen 😌❤🔝

इंतजार,

इंतजार ही तो करती आयी हूं मैं आजतक,

बचपन में बड़े होने का, सही वक्त आने का,

सूरज के ढलने का, चांद के नजर आने का

सर्दियां खतम होने का, पहली बारिश में भीगने का,

उस शक्स के लौट आने का और वक्त के ठहर जाने का

वैसे इंतजार करके खास कुछ सफल हुआ नही आजतक

पर इंतजार करने की आदत भी कभी छूटी नही

It's always pichle saal aaj ke din but for me it's pichle saal aaj ki raat.

So last year it was my exam tomorrow and I sat to study for it around 8 pm and around 9 pm something I got a call which was totally unexpected. It was him and everything changed.

He was kinda drunk that night and he called me and expressed all his love for me.

Like as I saw his call I was on cloud 9 like fr and as I picked it up he said I love you. And he said this that night for the first time and we talked til 3.30 am and in those 5 to 6 hours he said it for hundred times and just expressing his love and adoring me and was like being thankful to me for coming in his life.

That night he was on a trip with his frnds and his frnds were annoyed of him as he was badly drunk so his frnds were calling me and was just like ki yr tu isko kese bhi krke sulade yeh bs teri baat maanega yr sula de isko and I was like I can't even express what I was feeling that time.

And ukw when his frnds were telling him to put the phone down he was like ki dhik ni rha apni darling se baat kr rha hu jao yha se abhi tumhari bhabhisa se baat hori h meri and told his one of his frnd that namaste kr apni bhabhisa ko like fr fr I couldn't stop blushing and still while remembering those moments I can't resist smiling

And he told me shayaris sang songs for me and was kept on saying I love you and I was like you are just high and you don't mean any of these so then he said ki darling insaan nashe me humesha sach bolta h or jitna pyaar aapse h kisi se nhi maano ya mt maano like 😭😭

Last year I had him but today I had his memories like how fast the night changes

I just want those days back like please bhagwan ji vapis dedo 😭🧿🫀

I saw you in my dream. And i was so happy seeing you in front of my eyes. It felt surreal.

I remember you and me held each other and were kinda dancing and I held onto you so tightly with the fear of you leaving me.

Idk if it was vivid or lucid but I felt it I felt it all your touch your fragrance your warmth and our laughter and it all felt so real.

And ukw when I woke up I got tears because like shit it was just a dream but somewhere I was like atleast we were together in the dream and maybe someday it all will turn into a reality.

Now when I think about it I could only see your smiling face and you adoring me and me being the happiest and full of love being with you.

Happiness Will Come To You.

kuch bhi rass nhi aa rha h is dil ko, mujhe gale lga sakte ho ?

Okay so it's been months of me and him broke up but still I love him the same and even more and I still have that hope that one fine day again everything will be fine between us.

Like I practice that day when we will meet again. Every now and then I think about it that when we will meet again and it's like me jb usse milungi n to usse yeh kahungi usse yeh bolungi or ha ladungi to bilkul nhi usko mna lungi

Like I've prepared everything from venue to my outfit like every single thing ki jb hum milenge to agr vo puchega kaha milna h to yha milenge me yeh dress pehn kr jaungi or even jokes soch rkhe h ki vo milega n to usko sunaungi or or even ig story pr ky post krungi us din ky song lgaungi sb kuch

But last night we had a talk it felt like I'm talking to him after ages and I asked him that can we meet and he straightforwardly said no

But his no doesn't mean that I lose all hope okay we'll surely meet again and things will be fine. My Radha Rani will fix everything 🫀🧿

I miss him

I miss expressing my love

I miss him being the reason of my smile

I miss him laughing on my jokes

I miss listening to our songs and looking at our pictures

I miss being his

and I miss calling him mine

I miss our fights

I miss being his go to person

I miss my idiot

वो भी क्या दिन थे

जब हम बात किया करते थे

Chapaak

Ek machli

The guy who used to come to my house just to give me a hug today don't even want to talk to me.

We broke up 5 months ago and still I love him the same and even more and still today whatever happens with me he is the first person I want to tell everything.

2 days back I was crying so hard and I called him but he has blocked me so later his frnd asked me what happened I said I wanted to talk to him and he said but he doesn't wants to talk to you

You know what guys last year, today me and him were texting about this hug day and all and he said OK I'm coming to give you a hug but I didn't take it seriously but then he came with his frnds and was calling me standing out of my house that bahar dekho aagya me and I looked out of my window and he was actually there like I couldn't believe it and I was like dancing that he is here he is here. So I welcomed him and his frnds and we all sat and had Maggie and gossiped for a long while and I still remember all that time I was just affectionately looking at him all the time and was just smiling so did he. And when they were leaving he stood and gave me a hug like I can't express that feeling that I had when I hugged him that day for the first time and like I was literally dancing all day long that day and still while remembering that day I can't stop smiling 🧿😭

Today I saw him on my way back to home like we had a lil eye contact and I skipped a beat. I stopped there and looked back where he is going so he stopped at a shop and was standing there with his frnds.

Tho I didn't want to buy anything but still I went to that shop to buy something just for the sake of his glance. So like I waited there for a while before going to that shop so that he doesn't feel that I came to see him.

But but but as soon as I went there I couldn't even get my eyes up to look at him I got so nervous my heart was beating so fast like it gonna burst and like I went to the shop I bought something and came back and just for once somehow I looked up and saw him and I left.

I was smiling all the way back to my home and I'm still smiling and still my heart beating fastly thinking about that moment.

OK OK OK listen you all last year, today I had my school farewell and I gave a Thanksgiving speech and I really wanted him to be there listen to my speech but because of some reasons he didn't come but later on after 2 days that's on 10th of February he came especially just to listen to my speech. Like he was drunk that day and he called me saying aapki speech sunni h aao sunao and I met him and he sat patiently to listen me and like I was not able to even say a word correctly because I was blushing badly and was just smiling and even he told his friends that to sit and listen to my speech

Idk why im telling this all but I can't stop smiling remembering those days

Like take me back to those days fr fr fr😭