pariahfox
clatterbane is baaack!
Because Tumblr
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melaniadeliveryworld
CHICOS Pará!
melaniadeliveryworld
CHICOS Pará!
mallunch
watercolor eyes
malykrisoftheazuresky
Haven For Those Who Wander
malykrisoftheazuresky
Haven For Those Who Wander
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OK, I am now having trouble figuring out how to even log this account out of the mobile app, short of a reset through uninstalling and reinstalling.
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Himalayan Monal (Lophophorus impejanus), male, family Phasianidae, northern India
Photograph by Kamlesh Mirkale
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Because I was legit shocked when someone told me they think the synopsis on the book jacket usually gives too much away.
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@straycatj のJさんはRainWorldでchilling with a sloppy styleです (RainWorldは素敵なゲームです～）
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Lanternfly (Pyrops candelaria), family Fulgoridae, Huay Xai, Bokeo, Laos
Photograph by Richard Ling
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Welp, I've been back home for a little while. And it could have gone much worse.
Apparently the whole deal is that they want to start intubating me before the procedures for whatever reason, and needed to do at least a pro forma medical review to clear me for that. Which consisted of finally telling me wtf was even going on, going through my medications list, listening to my lungs with a stethoscope, taking my blood pressure, and drawing some blood.
It will at least apparently be the same people doing the same procedure, they're just sending me in though a different department to get sedated and intubated before the gastroscopy, and schlepping me back over there to recover after. I really do not look forward to any of that, but at least they will presumably knock me the fuck out before they do anything else. I WILL be getting out of there if not. I don't care if they have taken my chair away somewhere by that point. I will bite some legs off if I have to.
The main practical difference is having a doubly sore throat for days afterward (judging by all admittedly limited past experience with having a tube shoved down there), and probably having to stay there longer since they had better not bring me out of the propofol while I am still in the endoscopy room with a tube down my damn throat.
Nobody ever explained why they are suddenly changing this, other than mentioning that it's supposed to be safer. I guess there is not even a remote risk of aspiration as you're rooting around in there when somebody's got a tube down their windpipe. That's the best I can come up with. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Can't say I'm happy about much of how this has gone down, but at least they are not currently just trying to get rid of me one way or another because I do still need the rather expensive ongoing roto-rooter* sessions to keep me able to swallow anything.
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* OK, they're actually using this funky inflating balloon thing mounted on an endoscope to stretch out the scarred areas. But, that doesn't sound nearly as catchy. If I could get my own mini roto-rooter to use on myself at home, I would totally prefer going that route.
I'm trying not to worry too much, but that's been going about as well as you might expect.
Tomorrow I've got an intake appointment set up for endoscopy, because they apparently decided to pass me over to a different team. No communication or anything, I just didn't hear anything about the next regular appointment--and then I got this new patient appointment letter for a week after my usual appointment schedule has been running.
That was confusing as hell, but Mr. C called to see if there had been some kind of mixup. Nope, evidently somebody just decided to send me to another team there after around 2 years with absolutely no communication about it. And I am apparently supposed to do a full new intake, with forms and blood tests and all.
There was also a procedure set for the 19th, or two weeks longer than they have been leaving between procedures lately. Thankfully, I am still eating fine right now, and here's hoping that will hold out for another week. At least they are evidently not planning to immediately stop doing treatments entirely, since they did give me that appointment date already.
But yeah, I have no idea wtf is even happening here until hopefully finding out something tomorrow, and it's making me nervous. I am actually at the point where I pretty much trust the team I've been working with so far here, after horrible and generally traumatic experiences dealing with the NHS before. And this is kind of a life-threatening issue they've been treating.
I do of course worry that they're basically just trying to dump me as a patient, since it hasn't been completely solved after 2+ years of them treating it (largely thanks to the delays and assorted fuckups when the damaged esophagus was still more easily fixable). I am also concerned that whatever new people I end up with won't actually try to keep me able to swallow as non-traumatically as possible, and I'll basically end up back in an NHS-level mess. The team I've been dealing with did actually seem to gaf if I could eat--and tried to keep me out of severe pain while they were reaming my throat out on a schedule informed by it staying open or not!--but yeah who knows.
We'll have to see what they have to say tomorrow. And I'm glad I do have some kind of backup, going in to who the hell knows what.
#personal#venting#medical stuff#medical trauma#medical fuckery#swallowing bs#esophageal stricture#gif
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Garden Variety Dykes: Lesbian Traditions in Gardening, 1994
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ok I just wanna say if you see a kink on tumblr or wherever that really turns u on and then you try it irl and it doesn’t make u feel the way you hoped it would THATS OK!! You can let that kink live in fantasy!! There are a lot of things that turn my brain on that I don’t enjoy during actual sex!! Isn’t human sexuality interesting!!
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The three kinds of bird species name
1. God’s Specialist Little Boy
2. Hot Breasted Milf
3. Grey Bird With Brown Head
4. Walter’s Fingernail
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As a reminder, I report and block default-icon accounts as bots because I cannot tell the difference at a glance, and I will not waste my time investigating.
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honestly open source will be the only thing anyone can ever trust in the end i guess
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its fast fashion to YOU. im wearing a forever21 sweater i got during the bush administration.
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7 most adhd moods
–the Only Mood everyone else knows about: i wanna do THIS and THIS and THIS and THIS and THIS and–SQUIRREL
–galaxy brain: i was listening to the lecture but the prof said something that reminded me of something else and now i’m not sure how much time i was lost in thought
–the tutorial only comes in video format: i’m sorry, but you’ve thrown off the emperor’s groove *hurls product & its tutorial video into the sun*
–damn you hyperfocus: i went to bed intending to wake up and write but this morning i was possessed by a cleanliness spirit and spent the next 14 hours organizing the apartment
–i dont think u tried at all.jpg: did i seriously spend an entire free day refreshing twitter b/c i didn’t want to spend 10 minutes finishing my hw but wouldn’t let myself do anything else until i finished it???? (yes)
–patrick star: *unlocks phone* time to check the weather. *opens twitter* the weather. *opens messenger* the weather. *opens mobage game* the weather. *opens facebook* the weather. *opens twitter again* THE WEA–
–smells like depression: literally everything is too boring. i’m going back to sleep
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Does the “I’m gonna get a good grade in” person know the impact they’ve had. Do they know they did in fact got a good grade in post, something that’s both normal to want and possible to achieve,
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