I have surpassed any consideration towards food.

It's the result of forcing me to eat. Fear etches through my veins, swirling past each hemoglobin and plastids, as I put food into my mouth.

Sometimes, even oatmeals are hard to be kept in. And God, the relief when the alien substance leaves your body is not something one can express through words.

It takes a lot of effort to simply put food in my mouth and chew.. swallowing it is another feat. Things I once loved dear, chocolates, cakes, ice cream, mangoes, grapes.. fear evades them all, and throw it out before my mind claims complete war with myself.

I suppose I'm somewhere between, the middle of getting worse. I ought to complete it before I can walk back. The race to the end of the marathon must be completed. If I leave now, walk back all those times I've pushed past my own limits till pain scorched my body, would've been useless.

The marathon is long. It's beyond the comprehension of the mundane 'a-little-more'. Recovery shall happen. Maybe it will take days, weeks, months, and years, and God knows how long.

It was quite a rainy day, I mean cloudy day. Grey skies casted graciously across the supposed to be golden sky. And I had to travel from my aunts house to my dad's family house.

In all honesty, it felt as if I was moving out of my comfort zone, to somewhere that was the epitome contrasting my comfort. I mean it's not bad, but it's just Its like I have no control over the least thing I had the smallest bit of control in. I couldn't peacefully be alone, until and unless I had bargained my way through. I couldn't eat the amount of food, I preferred to eat or even not eat at all. I understand it's not easy to understand that sometimes I don't need food at all. BUT truly I think they should take into consideration that I don't want to eat sometimes. Forcing me to eat will only make me hate food more and more, until I can't even comprehend to swallow something as they classify as "food" down my throat. So far, fruits are my favorite form of food, especially oranges, watermelon, and banana (altho I'd not eat bananas as much as the other fruits)

♡

It's such a toe curling - I want a dig a whole and die in it - kind of situation when someone asks a question specifically directed to no one to which you answer and then realize it wasn't for you, but the person beside you?

THIS IS WHY I DONT INTERACT WITH PEOPLE OR TALK AT ALL!!

First time in tumblr and for a while ive been wanting to post something and fr i finally found the courage to post this pic i found from pinterest.....

Srsly tho this one single pic has got me on a continuous loop in the head....ngl.