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I have nothing left to give,
You see.
For my cup has been empty so long that
Webs from spiders fill it instead.
I know the things that bring light,
But I only see them through a hole.
A hole so tiny you must squint to see.
The rest is dark,
Empty,
Erie,
And heavy.
It consumes me.
The hole got bigger for a period,
But that has passed.
Now back in the crypt I shall be.
Looking for my friends,
The spiders I hope to see.
To fill my cup with intricate chords once again.
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dumping all my favorite sad textposts to make room on my phone ignore my emo ass I go through it too 🫠🥲🖤
Part 1
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The poets wrote,
"Find what you love and let it kill you."
and
"Maybe I deserved someone else, but I wanted you."
-
They wrote,
"What is the point of lukewarm love? If it is not drowning me, I have no desire for it."
They wrote,
"Grief is the souvenir of love."
-
The poets wrote warnings,
and we awed.
They wrote tragedies,
and we dipped them in romance.
This pain is not sweet.
This pain is not romantic.
The poets were right.
They were right about
everything
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There is a fire that has been lit,
It’s buried deep within.
It’s been asleep for some time now.
She has wanted to awake,
But fears of her fate
Tantalize her coals.
Fire is a dangerous thing,
If not controlled.
Her fear dictates how high the flame goes,
It’s a cage.
A cage created by herself,
Herself only.
For only she knows how unstable she can be.
The flame has been begging to be freed.
The flame reaches from its cage,
With sparks of emotions long smothered.
These sparks get bigger every time,
You see.
Big enough to reach outside the cage,
For a moment.
Sparks reach.
And reach.
These speaks are catching glimpses,
Of a world they fear.
But with every glimpse,
The fear subsided,
For a moment.
But the flame knows how unstable she is.
So in fear she must live.
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Waking up is overwhelming
Driving is overwhelming
Telling people how I feel is overwhelming
Existing in a world filled with so much hate is overwhelming
Doing the things I love are overwhelming
Breathing is overwhelming
Doing simple tasks is overwhelming
Thinking of anything that is not going to happen either today or tomorrow is overwhelming
EVERYTHING is just so overwhelming.
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I feel so alone
It’s been so long since I’ve been here
In this darkness
I forgot how dark it really was....
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