Just because you turned on the light, the monster in the dark doesn’t leave. It just finds another place to rest until you turn it off again.

We would like to request you cease consuming our employees souls as our insurance doesn’t cover this

For your “free” blood sacrifice guide, please ring the phone number listed below. If you cannot find it try checking under the bed, maybe something took the phone number. This is exactly why you needed that guide in the first place. Just go and find the number, okay? 

Death Visions #8

You sit on the bus, the dull scenery blurring into smudges of grey and green as your eyes loose focus on anything except the dark figure sitting in front of you. The dark figure. What is it? You think to yourself for a moment before your attention is inexplicably drawn to the window again.  The darkness has given away to light and you step off of the vehicle. Damn, that sun was bright. You raise an arm to shelter yourself from the harsh light that seemed to be actively attacking your retinas. Without checking which direction you were about to go in, you begin to head out into the featureless landscape. Exactly 24 minutes later your progress is interrupted by a strange sensation. Tipping. Gravity altering. Falling...  The pain is blinding and so is the Dorito protruding out of one of your eyes. You roll over, finally crying out as the reality sets in.  The bright sun burns into your skin but you don’t feel it as you slip into the infinity of whatever comes after.

If the road talks to you.  Don’t talk back to it. don’t listen It will consume you

Don’t mind the screaming; the sky tends to get a bit lonely during the day.

stay in school kids.

do not leave.

barricade the doors.

they are coming- 

A message from our sponsors

Don’t go out there. 

Don’t even bother reaching out towards that light anymore. There is no solace. No refuge. We are in eternal damnation. We cannot escape. You try to escape but you just keep seeing black. The black envelops you as you walk. 

You keep walking but you cannot see. You could never see. You think back to your childhood and when you thought you could see. You saw white and then black.

Black and white.

Black and white.

Black and white.

And now it’s just black. There was only ever black. Only. Ever. Black.

Brought to you by Puff Pastry, for all of your crusty needs.

Allow the vultures into your life; they are here to protect you from the souls of the restless deceased and are also an important part of the desert ecosystem. Support vultures. 

Be yourself! It’s not like I’ve got the time for any of that ethereal, bodily possession nonsense. 

We are not misunderstood. We are just evil.

Night Vale tourist info centre

Several souls have gone missing from lost property. Any information linking to this would be greatly appreciated.

If one is allergic to alcoholic beverages, how can they "drink to forget"?

Alcohol is not necessary to forget. See, you have already forgotten.

Total lack of sound, No vibrations in the air. How can you break something, If it isn’t really there?

I have just been informed that the aforementioned cult gathering was in fact a street parade; a public event to celebrate mortality. We apologise for this mistake.

We would like to remind you that it is not recommended that cult gatherings be carried out in the middle of the road as this could cause congestion 

We would like to remind you that it is not recommended that cult gatherings be carried out in the middle of the road as this could cause congestion