Day 5 and 6: Meh

So as you can see, I am doing a few days at a time just because I don’t want to be repeating myself.

I have had a few stressful days at work which has probably not helped me at all. I am still getting those lucid dreams at night but it is nothing scary or anything, I only seem to remember key points of the dreams at night.

I am having a little drink tonight, just because why not, it is Friday! Not sure what affects Prozac and drink have, if any at all.

What is everyone else up to today?

My Prozac Diary

Kinda feeling hurt? Kinda feeling angry? Kinda want to pick a fight? Kinda don't know if it's really something worth fighting with a friend over or if it's just PMDD 🙃 nothing quite like having to question your own mind

I believe that there is another world waiting for us. A better world. And I’ll be waiting for you there.

David Mitchell; Cloud Atlas (via quotexcerpts)

My Prozac Diary

Day 3 & 4: Angry and Upset

First off, sorry Day 2 never posted.. I don’t know what happened. I thought I posted it but clearly no4. In a nutshell, day 2 was meh. I was okay but felt a bit sick in the afternoon but that quickly passed over.

Going on to today.. different story altogether. I'm anxious, angry and upset. No particular reason but I feel as if the whole world is against me right now.  Maybe there is a bigger picture to why I am feeling like this but I can’t work it out or if my head is just making these little scenarios up.  

My OH is constantly asking ‘what is wrong’ ‘why you being so moody’. Oh my darling OH, well maybe it’s just one of the side effects and I am not sure how to handle it and I just want a hug. Pathetic right. Wrong, we all need some support and people to turn to when we are feeling like this, even if you are not sure what's going on to yourself (like me) how would you expect anyone else to understand what you are going through if you don’t know yourself. 

Oh it has been a tough 48hours. Roll on the next 24 hours, let’s hope it is a good one!

My Prozac Diary

https://iglovequotes.net/

Fluoxetine in my bloostream

My Prozac Diary

Doubt is on my mind

So today has been a bit odd. One minute I am happy and the next I am anxious and just want to go home and curl up into bed with my OH. 

I even text my OH to say that ‘I just want to cry and go home’. I mean what good would that do, how would you even respond to a thing like that.

oh, my life.

My Prozac Diary

Began the depressive side of PMDD today. Entered a new level of hell and I’m already exhausted after hurting myself.

You might wonder, why am i sharing this? 

Because I need to. I need to talk about it. Keeping it to myself will only make it worse. And at the very least, if someone else with PMDD sees this, I want them to know they’re not alone.

Day 1 - Lucid Dreaming

Hi again,

So that is my day one completed taking Prozac. I wasn’t expecting much in the way of side effects or anything but I was having crazy lucid dreams last night. I did search this up and it is a side effect. It was mental, I never dream let alone a lucid dream.

I was so confused when I woke up because I was trying to determine whether it was real life or not and if it was real life, how did I get into bed? haha. It was also a positive dream with no negativity.

Apart from that, I have been a little moody and grouchy but I presume that it is to do with my period. Hopefully, I have more to report on in the next few days.

In the meantime, if you have any questions, please don’t hesitate in contacting me.

:)

My Prozac Diary

My Prozac Diary

My Prozac Diary

My Prozac Diary

psychedelic art …prozac

Welcome!

So where do I begin... I have never done anything like this or spoken out in the open about all this before. So, please bear with me.

Hi, my name is Marisa and I am 22 years old who lives in sunny Scotland. 

Okay, that is the easy part out of the way!

I am sure you know what this blog is about, the hint is in the URL. But, I want to go back and explain how i got to this stage currently in my life.

Since I was 13/14 I have been a little of an emotional wreck for a week or so every month but in recent years this has been getting worse. I guess I thought that it was all to do with my menstrual cycle and it was normal for every girl. 

In recent years, for about a week leading up to my period, I feel as if I am having an out of body experience. The way I think and how I deal with situations, whether that is at work or with friends and family completely changes.

My mood drops so low that I have doubts about why I have been put on this earth. I find it so hard to get up for my job and I can’t concentrate once there as my mind is going a thousand miles per hours with scenarios from past, present and future. Even if I receive an email from someone that is negative in any sort of way or even if it to ask me to change something on a project, I automatically think that they are going to sack me, give me a disciplinary. Yeah, I know.. overkill in my thought process. My appetite changes, I just want to eat everything I see even if I am not hungry. The way I talk to people changes also, I only notice this after I start my period. If anyone says anything I don’t like, it is like the end of the world in my head. This has caused a lot of strain on my OH but he is starting to notice when I am going through this episode.

Fast forward to now, I went to the doctor last week (I have been and had a few appointments over recent years regarding this issue but all they kept saying is that it was just a phase of the contraception I was on at the time, god how they were wrong) and said that I need help. I can’t do this anymore. How can I not control the way I think and handle situations during the ONE week of the month.

I have now been diagnosed with PMDD (which I can explain in another post).

and today is day 1 taking Prozac and my update is to follow.