9 September 2020

I absolutely LOVE Christian’s school photograph this year as, he looks too handsome for words! This year has been quite different thanks to COVID-19 but, I know Christian will successfully complete Grade 2 and I trust next year will be a “normal” school year.

27 December 2019

This year, Christian REALLY wanted a birthday party with friends from school and although finances were tight, I wanted him to feel celebrated. So, it may not have been super fancy with the best decor, cake and photographer on the block but, it was still special and he was able to have fun with his friends.

I love this little guy so much and I know God has BIG plans for his life.

9 November 2019

Christian looks very awkward in this photograph but, he did well at his Maroon Belt grading and I could not be prouder. I hope he will continue and grow in discipline, strength and focus.

20 August 2019

My apologies if this image is slightly grainy; it was taken last night at my son’s school as, I was dropping him off for the first night of their school concert. This year, he is an underwater rock or stone in the show (he isn’t dressed yet in this picture). The reason I am posting this photo though, has nothing to do with the concert and everything to do with a defining moment which happened as I was walking him toward the drop-off area last night... He dropped my hand (which I always hold). Naturally, I thought it was accidental but, as I went for his hand a second time, he quickly moved it away and softly, but firmly said, “Mommy!” I was later told, he did not want his friends making fun of him. Wow. At six though? I was so not prepared... My baby is growing up too fast! [insert sobbing here]

17 July 2019

Aww. He looks like a deer in headlights in this year’s school photo but, the cutest little deer in headlights I have EVER seen. Love him. 🦌😍

18 June 2019

Father’s Day is usually a difficult time for Christian but, on Sunday my heart really broke for him. After church, as soon as he got into the car, he broke down crying; as if he had held it together just long enough to reach the safety of the car. He wept and in-between sobs said, “I hate Father’s Day because my Daddy isn’t here”. I tried to be strong for him, to comfort him but, I could not keep it together; and as I drove, we both cried in chorus.

Hillsong did a great job of celebrating Dad’s but, I think when Christian had to dance on stage with his age group, listen to other kids as they spoke about what they love about their Dads, and how they spoiled them for Father’s Day; it cut him deeply. I have decided that from now on, we will avoid church on this day to protect him from seeing all the other kids celebrate their Dads – only emphasising his void, his longing, and his desire to be near his own Dad.

The evening, Christian was able to video call his Dad, and I think this was something which helped ease things a bit – for Christian and also for Kris (his Dad) who had both found the day hard to bear. Christian also made two cards for his Dad (pictured above) which I think is a process he needs each year in order to normalise things and help him cope slightly better.

I feel terrible because my son is carrying the consequences of my actions, of something he had no part in yet, which affects him emotionally. I do not know if this will ever get easier for him but, I pray that God will provide the finances for him to visit his Dad in the next year or two; and I also trust that God would bring strong spiritual fathers into his life who would help ease the pain and guide him in his life. I am grateful for my Dad and his role in Christian’s life and I am also really grateful for my friend Peter Wright who has become someone at church who Christian truly admires and looks up to. Even when things are hard, I must acknowledge how truly blessed we are.

1 June 2019

At the beginning of this year, Christian started karate lessons and immediately displayed a passion for the sport which I had not seen before. Practicing twice a week, he has not missed a session yet; and even shows his commitment between practices by doing his katas and fitness exercises at home. He LOVES karate and often expresses that he wants to continue and reach his black belt one day. I support this goal.

So, we woke up at the break of dawn to get him to his first karate grading at 7:45am at the Kyokushin-Karate Dojo in Welgemoed. He is the cutest little karate kid and I was very proud of him as he completed his grading and was presented with his orange belt (he was able to skip red).

I know that as he continues, he will only gain discipline, focus and skills which will benefit him in other areas of his life too.

26 October 2018

As Christian graduates Grade R and leaves Step Ahead to enter primary school next year, I am one extremely proud Mother. The year at Step Ahead has been very tough yet, he has always done his best and grown tremendously. I trust that the next chapter in his schooling will be fruitful and that the transition to ‘big school’ will be seamless. God has big plans for my little guy!

16 October 2018

One of Christian’s favourite places to hang out is Sea Point Promenade. I love seeing him light up as he plays on the beach and eats his favourite Oreo ice-cream.

Photos taken by Paige Wood

15 June 2018

So, quite a few friends have asked why I no longer put posts up on here and there really is no excuse; except that life has gotten increasingly busy and I have found it harder to get to many things... Including documenting this journey with my munchkin.

But, here I am. I cannot promise there will be frequent posts but, I am going to try a bit harder so that one day Christian can look back and read over these posts, and laugh at the photos and videos. 

Grey Area | At the tail end of last year, just after Christian’s 5th birthday, I noticed a grey hair on his head. Naturally I assumed it was a stray hair that had gotten onto his head somehow, so I proceeded to brush it away. What a surprise, when I discovered it was in fact attached to his scalp! He had his first grey hair! At age five! I could not believe it. My baby must be living a righteous life! (Proverbs 16:31) Lol.

Toothy Grin | On new years day, while my cousin from London was visiting, we had a big family braai. Christian had, had a loose tooth for a couple of days, but it was during lunch that day, when he announced it had come loose while chewing. I was simply relieved he hadn’t swallowed it. Such a special moment - on the first day of the year! In the next few weeks, he lost another two milk teeth and he now has two big, fat permanent teeth in their place. His top row of milk teeth are all still in tact and they don’t seem as eager to fall out as that bottom row!

Paperwork | This has been a major stressor for us this year. Without going into too much detail or playing the blame game, I will say that when your child’s status changes and he becomes an illegal resident in your own country, it’s so hard. I am currently awaiting the outcome of my Home Affairs application to get him SA citizenship and change his last name to mine... It has been a long wait, with several visits to the Bellville Home Affairs office. As a result of him not having paperwork, it also meant schools would not accept his applications to start primary school next year; which as you can imagine, has only added to my stress levels. I will however continue to trust God and have faith that this will all be resolved soon.

Father Figure | After all the fights regarding Christian’s paperwork, Kris (Christian’s Dad) decided to cut contact with us completely. It was hard as, up until that point, for the most part, Kris was FaceTiming Christian at least once or twice a week. Kris has gone MIA for periods in the past but, this has been a very lengthy period and it has been affecting Christian more dramatically. It’s been hard as, not being in the same country has been challenging for all of us, even Kris, who hasn’t seen his son in person since he was five months old. But this being said, we had been doing our best to maintain contact as best we could. I worry about Christian as, he was hugely impacted by my sister’s divorce and the “loss” of an uncle and then to have contact with his Dad disappear over night; I know he is hurting. So, when I started dating someone earlier this year, I think it was too much for him to handle. And he has had some scary outbursts and reactions, which I am monitoring and trying to be sensitive to. I am very grateful that Christian has a Grandpa (my Dad) who he is very close to and who is a stable presence in his life... I think without that, things would be a lot worse. Again, this is an area where I feel I need to constantly trust God. I want my son to grow into a stable, decent, successful young man and therefore I cannot rely on my own strength.

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There is so much more I could write but, I think I’ll end here for today. Christian is such a blessing and although I find myself constantly saying, “don’t do that”, “don’t be rude”, “okay, no (TV/sweets/iPad)” etc... I feel the love and kisses and hugs and joy he brings, far outweighs all the challenges. Motherhood reminds me what love really is. 

27 December 2017

Christian’s 5th Birthday was very low-key, spent at home with his grandparents, aunty, cousins and I. A lovely Cars-themed celebration nonetheless. What a blessing each year of his life is...

Photos taken by my sister, Michelle Lategan.

17 September 2017

Christian and his Grandpa armwrestling... I’m sure it’s obvious who wins.

Balance? | 3 May 2017

I will be the first to admit that parenting is extremely rewarding but, also very challenging, especially as a single parent. 

Christian will always be my priority but, lately I have been feeling overwhelmed and less satisfied with my life, which has resulted in me being a less present mother. Christian has also become increasingly stubborn and disobedient; which is probably a combination of his age, my parenting and, him sensing the space I have been in of late. When I have felt happy and fulfilled, it has been easier to be there more fully for him. 

Right now, I find myself in an unfulfilling job, financially unable to move out of my parents home, and feeling academically stuck. My parents have also both had periods in hospital this year and this has contributed to my emotional state and added additional responsibilities to my load (not a complaint). 

On a personal level, it’s felt harder to connect with people (on a friendship or romantic level) as, I am so busy with work, class assignments / readings, and Christian that it’s been hard to fit a social life into the mix; not to mention that most of my friends are married and/or balancing equally crazy commitments.

So, how do I regain that balance? How do I give my bouncy four year old everything he needs and strive for a happier, more balanced space for myself? 

Advice is welcomed. Please.

20 March 2017

I have been meaning to add this post for quite some time now but, time flies and then before one knows it, those moments and memories have escaped you.So, here it is - FINALLY!

On Friday, Christian shyly told me that a girl in his class (Ariana) attempted to kiss him. Whaaaat?! I was so caught off guard... I swear I thought I would be dealing with this in about six years time - at least! As he continued, he confessed that she had in fact succeeded in kissing him, while they were outside sharpening rocks. His reaction... “No silly. That’s silly!” Poor girl. But for now, his little rosey cheeks are reserved for kisses from Mommy! Lol.

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For some time now, Christian has been obsessed with the number 51. He says, “I love you for 51 years”, when asked how many sweets or kids or anything there were, he responds with “51″...In his mind, 51 is huge and 51 is everything. I looked up the significance of the number and was so touched by what I found. The number is associated with family, independence, nurturing etc. All positive and all quite related to who Christian is. Makes so much sense now; 51 years of sense.

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Recently (if 27th February is still considered recent), while collecting my identity card from the bank, Christian was attracted to a poster advertising a kids banking app... So, the next week, there we were opening his first bank account at Standard Bank. Lol. I consider it a good thing since I struggle saving and feel the earlier he gets into the habit of saving, the quicker it will become a norm. He is very proud of his new bank account and has been showing everyone his new bank card.

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Two weekends ago, Christian said, “Mommy, I won’t be available next Saturday.” So, shocked and surprised I asked, “Why?” and was told, “I’m going to a workshop with Pa”. Lol. So there you have it, Christian is now making his own weekend plans - they grow up WAY too fast! 

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In other recent news... Christian has started riding his bike and memorizing weekly bible verses (this melts my heart). We also visited the National Gallery last month and have been picnicking frequently, enjoying the summer sun.

I will be sure to write updates as often as possible - he is growing up so fast, I can barely keep up.

1 January 2017 

Happy New Year, family and friends! 2016 was a year of growth, challenges, laughs, tears and many memories... I feel grateful and look forward to what 2017 has in store.

27 December 2017

Christian’s 4th Birthday… Wow, time genuinely flies! In all honesty, celebrating Christian’s birthday is always the highlight of my year as, I am so grateful to be his Mother and witness his constant growth. He is intelligent, creative, considerate, hilarious and extremely handsome… And I thank God for sparing him another year!

We had a very chilled family lunch at Spur (our second home) and although everyone seemed bothered by the heat and the time of year, Christian had fun and became a super schmodel as Heathyr snapped photographs of him. Lol.

I trust that his next year of life will be increasingly blessed and amazing… I love him more than anything in the whole wide world!

(see the other post for more photos taken by Heathyr)

27 December 2016