EXO Fandom - Part 2 - FanArt

This post follows part 1 - available here.

After working on stories and loving the imaginative fiction created by the fandom, I came across stories that highlighted visual work by fanartists to help provide visual reference. Initially I found most artwork to be digital, but it was happening upon a pencil artist that struck a chord and made me think, “I could probably do that.”

At the time, I was close to graduating with my Bachelors Degree in Studio Arts with an emphasis in painting and mural. I was known for hating portrait work and chose to mostly work in abstracts and landscapes, or still life. The pressure to make a person look recognizable was daunting. I had just finished my senior project early and had very little to do in studio reserved time, but had an ample supply of medium and papers. So, without much thought, I started to draw EXO.

My early work is pretty rough, but as I mentioned, I did not like drawing people. I spent most of an entire semester working on some random drawings and eventually completed my first ‘series’ which was really just portraits of all members using the same medium and paper. I posted those drawings on my personal Instagram because I didn’t see it being a big deal. It became a big deal.

With enough positive comments, I decided that I wanted to keep working on portraits of EXO and sometimes other K-pop artists when inspired. I wanted to improve and to see if I could get better at drawing faces. As I continued working on shading and texture - especially hair, I began to wonder what other mediums could be used to achieve different effects. I also began networking. I started to follow and talk to other digital and traditional fan artists who used all sorts of effects. I wanted to emulate digital effects traditionally, working with physical media in layers. I went to the art store often and purchased more variety of tools. I got recommendations for brands and techniques from a network of artists that was beginning to span the globe. I had never felt so rich in community as I did around my 2nd year of working on fanart.

Of course, it wasn’t just the community that prompted artistic growth. Not to be biased, but Kai has always been just a little more artistically portrayed in photoshoots. What I consider to be odd fashion preferences became amazing to recreate in charcoal and colored pencil. Still frame movement and emotions were so motivating that at times I couldn’t keep up with the amount of visual content that was coming out and how fast I could draw.

It was a constant race to keep up. I remember that the Die Jungs photobooks were the first that I felt so incredibly motivated by and yet could never draw everything I wanted to from those books before new content was available. When Exodus and Love Me Right came out, I was cranking out 1-4 portraits a day or at least in a week. I wanted to do more series. As EXO members moved on (Kris, Luhan, Tao) I wanted to keep making series that included the 12 regardless. I wanted to merge charcoal with paint and do blends of medium that seemed impractical. It was intensely motivating because I had not just Kai but 12 total muses that belonged on canvas.

At the time of writing this I have produced 692 pieces of traditional fan art. That’s 692 pieces of paper or canvas where the medium was applied by hand via pencil or paint brush. Never in my youth did I think I would ever complete that much body of work in an entire lifetime. 

EXO gave me the inspiration to get over a fear of portraits, dabble in more medium than I’d imagined, network globally and make friends, and for the first time made me feel like a legitimate artist. Now, we could spend another entire post talking about the copyright issues and art practices and their validity, but for now - my creative growth is still one of the many reasons EXO is my favorite K-Pop group. 

More to follow, thank you for reading.

EXO Fandom - Part 1 - FanFics

I was talking to a coworker a few days ago about K-Pop. They asked me who my favorite band was and it was simple to say, “EXO. I love their songs. I’ve watched them over several years...” and I realized I was giving such a generalized easy answer to something that is so incredibly complicated. No, I didn’t dive in further in that conversation but my mind continued to churn over why I love EXO and why I’ve loved them for so long.

The answer is multifaceted but my mind dove so far into it that I felt compelled to talk about it to whoever would listen. So, let me start at the basics.

If we look at Exo at the time of their MAMA, History, and Wolf release time frames then the answer is adorably cute guys singing romantically driven songs. They debuted with fictional powers and a sense of mystery. Who doesn’t love a good fantasy and wrapped up in a music group? The fan fiction that has poured out of this fanbase is the factual evidence as to why this was such a good concept to debut with.

At the time of Exo’s first year or two, I was personally dealing with a separation. It was my first relationship, first intimate relationship, and I was so completely depressed. I was introduced to EXO at the time History came out. It was an easy sell to me, but what really took me down the rabbit hole of the fandom was being recommended to read some fan fics. The fandom had already blown up with incredible stories. If you have been an EXOL back when we called ourselves Exotics then you probably have heard of or read a handful of some very famous fanfics. Were you a ChanBaek fan and read 10080? Not Intended? The Letter? Did you deep dive into Interrobang? Revolution? Did you ever run across Inner Child (god do I have withdrawals from being unable to find that fic anymore)? These are titles that I can remember off the top of my head but I have accounts with endless bookmarked stories. The truly amazing part of this was if you read a fan fic and then watched Exo in a reality show or on an interview, authors had been able to truly capture the member’s on-screen personalities. You could read a fic and then watch how members teased each other and there would be exact parallels. I truly believe that the fandom is not only creative but so very keenly observant.

If you wrote fanfics in those early days that dealt with powers, wolf pack dynamics, 6 rotating variations of shipped pairs then you were probably instrumental in helping this fan not only distract herself from an ugly separation but ignite a personal and sexual awakening. There were topics in fanfics that I’d never even heard of, prompting endless research and conversations with others to truly understand relationship dynamics. This was such a motivating time of awakening for me that I also began to write fictions and quickly came up with the “MyHappyExoBubble” name to capture this secret world where I was motivated and happy when I wasn’t sinking in my day-to-day life. In fact, most people knew me from fan fiction stories before I ever moved on to doing fanart (which I will conquer in a different post).

My motivation to write was centered around having found so many good story ideas but that were written poorly and were difficult to read. No, I never took an idea and wrote it myself, but I did start to come up with ideas that I would never publish if the writing wasn’t decent. I’m not an English major, nor do I pretend to have flawless grammar. I just wanted more stories that could be read without bad translations or under-developed writing skills. Unfortunately, at this time, I do have a few unfinished fics that have gathered dust online and I do apologize for that.

The result of finding such a rich community of fan fiction has been instrumental (as weird as that may sound) in my growth as an adult. When I finally moved on to a new relationship, the intimacies that were destroyed by my ex had been re-worked, explored, defined, and I knew what kind of intimacy I wanted and was accepting of. My writing skills had improved with practice. I can storyboard, brainstorm, character develop and truly express in written word what is going on in my head. I cannot look back in time and say that something else wouldn’t have taken me down this road, but the fandom did, thanks to EXO. This is one of the many reasons why I will forever have EXO listed as my favorite K-pop group.

*If you would like to talk to me about any of this, feel free to message me. I’ve been on a therapy journey recently and while I have not talked about my alter-ego within the fandom with my therapist at this time, I can’t stop thinking about it. :) 

Starlight

9x12in White Charcoal and White Gel Pen on Black Artagain paper.

Cr. Reference to Kai’s Rover Album Jacket photoshoot.

In case any of my readers from 2015-2017 are still around, I’ve dug an unpublished fanfic up and posted it.

Ya know where to find it. ;)

Hmmm these were some favorites

Light on Dark - FanArt Collection All pieces are 9x12in Artagain Black Paper Some are rendered with White Charcoal, others with White and Grey Colored Pencils. All traditional art pieces

Through Stardust - Kai Fanart

8x6in Calligraphy Ink on Mixed Media Paper Cr. Referenced video still of Exo’s Lightsaber Teaser

“My hair is so long right? Should I change my hair color? Did I have the brown hair for too long?” ♡ 210317, zkdlin IG live.

jongin and the flowers.

→ eulachacha man soo ro episode 2.

hyper dancing 🐻teaching umin-hyung obsession

엑소 카이 x ᴍᴏɴᴏᴛᴜʙᴇ

jongin’s little smirk

Miss you, tumblr. 😘

superm live ↠ beyond the future #kai #baekhyun

baekhyun for w korea (april issue)

Still My Happy Bubble - Piece 3

9x12in Acrylic Ink, Charcoal, Graphite, Gel Pen on Mixed Media Paper

Cr. Referenced 2020 Seasons Greetings

Still My Happy Bubble - Piece 2

9x12in Acrylic Ink, Charcoal, Graphite and Gel Pen on Mixed Media paper.

Cr. Referenced 2020 Seasons Greetings

suho ✧ ‘O2asis’ online fanmeeting