Development for the twentysomething

About 2 years ago, one of my good friends shared Meg Jay’s 2013 Ted Talk, “Why 30 is not the new 20”, with me. When I watched it at 22, I thought her message was really powerful for someone like me who had just graduated college and was stumbling around trying to figure out “adulthood”. It was especially significant for my peers and I as we no longer had obvious paths to follow post-college. After locking into a full time job, I put the future on hold and had as much fun as one possibly could at the tender age of 22. But questions of the future still loomed before me. What was next? What does it mean to be an adult? What did we even know about ourselves and what we want out of life? How can we come to know this?

Though I recognize that with more time and experience, I’ll have a clearer sense of direction, I can’t say I’m anywhere close to “figuring it out” right now. But what I really took away from Meg’s message was that it’s okay if we can’t figure it all out. The important thing is to be conscious of our direction and try to learn and apply meaningful growth as we move forward. Meg’s mantra for 20 somethings to gain “identity capital” and “be intentional” really resonated with me. 

She urged us to gain “identity capital” by doing things that add value to who we are and invest in who we may want to be. This piece really stuck out to me because this wasn’t something I reflected upon at the time. I was just grateful to have landed my first job and I was too busy having fun. When I started to explore my career path, I was flustered about when I would ever find the right fit for myself. Now, I’ve resolved that my even exploration is investment in “identity capital”. Though I still have a lot of unanswered questions, I know that I can only try to nurture my interests and hope the “right fit” grows clearer from there as I learn more about who I am and what I seek. 

The other piece to that, Meg advised, is to “be intentional” about how we make our life’s choices in both our personal and professional lives. Realizing early on how to develop good habits and live well with intention and purposefulness is important. I agree that our 20s sets a precedent for good habits into adulthood and that we should recognize realities early on and act upon them so we may end up in better places as we grow older, and hopefully wiser. 

So in these two years…:

I’ve gained more discipline and self-control through exercise and running. Signing up for challenging races set goals for myself that helped me gain perseverance and greater achievements, which also lead to better control over my training schedule, eating habits, and eventually other parts of life.

I’ve continuously been conscious of when I’ve stagnated professionally, and made moves to ask for promotions, switch jobs and eventually companies. I refuse to settle in my career and I know that someday I will look forward to Mondays and love my job and be excited and ecstatic about every aspect of work. I mean gosh, if we spend 40+ hours a week at work, we better love it!

I am more patient with myself and with other people, and I am calmer and generally more relaxed. Though I have more emotions now (I know this because I’ve shamefully become a cry baby when I watch heartfelt movies, TV shows, or engage in any random acts of kindness), I’m also grown more emotionally intelligent and recognize when to temper them when needed.  

I have observed the need to stop glorifying in the idea of being cyclically busy and realize that stopping to “smell the roses” is just as important.

I’m learning more about myself and have grown more comfortable and confident in my own skin. I like to wear my heart on my sleeve, and I’m growing less fearful about wearing it all the time. :)

Through travels, I’m growing more open minded about different people, their ideas and cultures…and I’m loving it!

And that’s all I’ve got. If you’re reading, I hope you took away something useful from this post!

http://www.ted.com/talks/meg_jay_why_30_is_not_the_new_20?language=en

Tumblr, I’m back!

I’m terrible at keeping up with these entries. I’ve been telling myself that I need to make it a commitment but I keep avoiding it. It’s just so much easier to watch Netflix, go to the gym or out to dinner – stuff that requires minimal or downstream effort after a long day at work. But I’ve always loved writing and have to find some way to bring it back to life again. So, I’ve sat my butt down at Panera to write today – removed of all distractions and interruptions. I suppose like all commitments, the only way to remain consistent is to 1. Start and 2. Do it every day until it grows into a habit that’ll necessitate deep yearning if it were to suddenly disappear.  

I avoided writing for a few reasons. While it served as an outlet in the past, running and meditation have since substituted as ways to release and seek clarity. It’s also been over 2 years since I’ve had any consistency in writing at all, and I’ve been ducking it due to its foreignness. I didn’t want to judge it if it didn’t meet expectation, and lack of practice convinced me I’d have to muster more energy than I was ready to give it. But I am finally giving it time and attention, and it’s coming to me with more ease than I thought!

The other few reasons I want to get myself back on the blogging bandwagon is because 1. It’s a great way to solidify, organize, and express thoughts and ideas, and 2. I have terrible memory, and though meditation and running have both been great ways to boost memory retention, writing would definitely be a positive addition to the mix.  

So anyway, here I am. Giving blogging another go and hoping to keep it routined!

Desiderata

"Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy."

- Max Ehrman

"Geborgenhait"

German word for which there is no English counterpart. 

"the sum of security, warmth, protection, trust, and love"

The Day I Stopped Saying "Hurry Up"

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/rachel-macy-stafford/the-day-i-stopped-saying-hurry-up_b_3624798.html

Energy Suckers vs. Energy Givers

"As far as I’m concerned there are only two kinds of people in business: those you want to avoid, and those with whom you want to surround yourself.  The former sucks energy out of you by complaining, criticizing and making excuses.  The latter infuses your imagination with fresh thinking, interesting ideas, and a contagious enthusiasm for what’s possible." 

Read more: http://edwardboches.com/surround-yourself-with-people-who-give-you-energy#ixzz2P7ZloYRs

My cousin and I spontaneously planned a four day trip to Zhangjiajie (张家界), and we are taking off tomorrow! Zhangjiajie is in the Hunan province, just northwest of Gaungdong, and especially popular for its scenic attractions. Zhangjiajie translates to "Zhang family homeland," which is coincidentally fitting as Zhang is my last name. Looks like I am going home! 

Life Lessons with Grandpa

I am hanging out with my grandpa for about two weeks before I go back to the states! It's been very relaxing. Our daily ritual involves eating, sleeping and long conversations. Grandpa's been teaching me a lot of life lessons. Here's some to share with you all. My favorites are in bold. :) . Side note - these sound better when spoken in Chinese! Also, I didn’t realize what #7 meant until later... it’s Chinese survival-of-the-fittest mentality. 

1. There are three important things in life you must aim to achieve:

Maintain a strong cultural and technological foundation (raw translation... if I translated correctly).

Possess good moral thoughts. 

Stay healthy.  

2. Don't want anything too much, but don't not want it either. Most importantly, don't be afraid of it. 

3. Keep all aspects of life in steady constants. 

4. Don't be arrogant, be confident. 

5. Keep family matters at peace. 

6. Don't be too serious in life. Always find things to laugh about. 

7. Big Courage, Small Heart

8. Always surround yourself with good company. 

9. Work hard in every aspect of life. 

10. Grow old with someone you love so you will always have good company.  

Homesick

Boston, I miss you. I miss fresh air and sunny, breezy, balmy weather. I miss my family and friends, beaches and american people and high speed internet and american t.v. shows and hamburgers, hot dogs and french fries and being able to drink tap water and walk into book stores to read books I can actually understand and go to red sox games and run along the beach by my house and...

ahhh I misssss youuuuu, baaaaaahstunnnn. 

China Updates

I've been living with grandpa and uncle for almost a week now, just myself (my family left about a week ago), and it's been good. I've become quite adjusted actually. The first few weeks with my family were slow, yet fast, and horrible, yet good. This first week alone without my immediate family was slow, but peaceful and mostly nice. When they were still here, I yearned for space to breathe, relax, and spend time alone, but never had the opportunity to do so until now. Uncle and grandpa have been great about getting me to feel at home here, so I really love them for that. I meant to blog about China a bit faster than this, but have procrastinated until now!

Here are some half silly half terrifying updates:

1. There is a mouse in my room. I am absolutely terrified. I've been trying to suppress this terror because it's really a tiny little thing, hardly more than two inches. I know about this mouse because I was in the dark watching Bones the other night with the lights off, and somewhere in the midst of that, I heard a light rustling and a tiny figure on fours run from under my bed to somewhere else in the room. I don't have clue where it might be now, but this room is tiny and very simply furnished. I am terrified. Knowing that there is one hidden in my room where I sleep and hangout practically 24/7 is really freaking me out. I know it's still in here because I haven't opened my door for fear that more will wander in. That, and the fact that I don't want to be bitten by any more mosquitoes and am in one of the only two rooms in the house with AC. Am I crazy to imagine the mouse might jump out at me and eat my flesh at any time now because it hasn't eaten for days and might get hungry/crazy/highly vicious? Sigh. I am definitely setting the mouse trap up in my room tomorrow. My uncle keeps putting cha siu in the mouse trap. Hope that gets the little guy. Maybe upon my next encounter with it, it’ll already be dead... Anyway, I should end with the rodent woes here.

2. Meals here are not similar to that in America as refrigerators are thought to be unreliable and "fresh groceries" that are bought and cooked that day must also all be eaten on that same day. I must add, however, that this speculation is based on my family's take on refrigerators and food, but opposite sides of my family who also live in other parts of China seem to operate the same way, so I think my presumption is accurate. I find the process of making meals here, like buying groceries and eating them all on that day, every day, seems highly inefficient and time consuming. Like many other Americans, I am much more accustomed to buying groceries about once a week and even that, to me, is a stretch. (In college, I would sometimes try to hold out for a visit to the grocery store once every three weeks. Can you say starving, unhealthy, ramen-eating student again? hell yeah.) Plus, refrigerators are reliable to an extent and things don’t tend to rot over just a few nights the way my grandfather is constantly insists. 

But despite this inefficiency, it has also given me a very different insight to food. Chinese people are much more in touch with their food than our fellow Americans. I think part of the reason is because most of China is still significantly rural, so many people (especially the older generation), know a lot more about the processes for food growth from seed to harvest. They take a lot of time examining their foods upon purchase with greater knowledge, care, and observation, and these habits and traditions seem to get passed on to the younger generation as the old feed the young. Plus, food is a huge part of their lives. For many Chinese families, food continues to remain as one of the most essential qualities of life. At the dinner table, offering food or placing pieces of food on someone's dinner plate gestures meanings of love and care. For Americans, food is perceived as more of a necessity or distraction. It’s more of a “eh, I’ll grab something on the way” or “let me just eat to past the time” type of thing.

Despite the whole being "in touch with food" thing though, the food shopping here is hella scary. Or just extremely different. I don't really know what to think, but I am trying to get used to it. Mainly because I think this is actually how traditional food shopping would be if it wasn't for large corporations and their conglomeration of the food markets in the United States. Food service in America caters toward American principles like efficiency; spending the least time and effort possible on food. I think growing up in America has left me clueless and very ignorant about food.

But here is also why the grocery shopping in China (or just Xin Hui) immensely scary for me: When you walk into these places, many of the animals are still alive! Mainly seafood and reptiles like various types of fish, turtles, snakes, frogs, and lots of other unidentifiable creatures. When you buy them, they kill and chop up these animal parts for you, and I've really got to emphasize this; watching them do it, sucks. The animals are usually still half alive and it's so horrible to have to watch them try to cling on for dear life even when they're already half dead. Also, seeing their guts spill out and blood squirting everywhere are highly unsettling images. In addition, there are whole chickens, pigs, sheep, and all sorts of other animals strung on metal sticks waiting to be bought. They also skin pigs, chop off heads, butts, guts, feet, and basically all other animal parts as long as they’re edible and safe for eating. People here find it completely normal, and well, it is. If one were to trace the root of our food, all of this is just part of the process. Nevertheless, it’s terrifying to me and most other Americans, I presume, because American supermarkets would never expose the dirty work behind our purchases. For example, when people shop for chicken in American supermarkets, they usually buy just the breasts or the thighs, hardly ever the whole chicken, and even those are packaged and cleaned very neatly. Americans are spared the dirty and gut spilling work of a butcher’s. They are spared the hard work, time, and dedication of farmers. Maybe Americans don’t care to know--I don’t know, but I do know American ideology has left almost all of us pretty careless and clueless about our food. And food, we should remember, is a significant part of life and should therefore, be eaten with greater quality and effort! 

That’s my tidbit for the day! Grandpa is about to cook lunch and I must do him right by helping him ‘cause he’s 80 something.

There shall be more to come! :) 

Color Career Test

You can take your color career test here: http://www.careerpath.com/career-tests/

"The test uses the Dewey Color System®, which is now "the world's most accurate career testing instrument. This report based on your personality traits indicates your two most enjoyable day-day-day occupation skills. It’s a summary of the full report, the Color Leadership Evaluation 5.0."

My results are below. It's still so strange to me how an analysis of color preferences can determine personality, but my results are oddly accurate. I am constantly battling between my creative, impulsive side and my sensible, rational side. One appears to dominate the other as evidenced below!

Best Occupational Category:

You're a CREATOR

Keywords

Nonconforming, Impulsive, Expressive, Romantic, Intuitive, Sensitive, and Emotional

These original types place a high value on self-expression. They enjoy working independently, being creative, using their imagination, and constantly learning something new. Areas of interest are far beyond the expected fields of art, drama, music, and writing. There are many occupations that allow creators to express, assemble, or implement ideas and maximize resources.

CREATOR WORKPLACES Unstructured, flexible organizations that allow self-expression work best with this free-spirited type. Ironically, professions that appear to be “Creative” can inhibit self-expression. Those that seem overly structured like Tax Assessor can actually offer the latitude to make a difference. Most enjoyable workplaces allow for self-expression with the capability to improve the status quo.

Don’t be befuddled by the word “Creative.” Creator workplaces are much broader that the “Typical Creative Careers” like interior decorating firms; artistic studios, theaters and concert halls; institutions that teach crafts, universities, music, and dance schools.

2nd Best Occupational Category:

You're an ORGANIZER

Keywords:

Self-Control, Practical, Self-Contained, Orderly, Systematic, Precise, and Accurate

These conservative appearing, plotting-types enjoy organizing, data systems, accounting, detail, and accuracy. They often enjoy mathematics and data management activities such as accounting and investment management. Persistence and patience allows them to do detailed paperwork, operate office machines, write business reports, and make charts and graphs.