Jael and Sisera
Jan de Bray (c.1627–1697)
York Museums Trust
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abandoned houses & highway crosses
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When I turn twenty, I will say that I have not been kissed. I will say that I have not been held. I will say that I have not loved nor been loved. I will say that I am still unsure of myself. I will say that I am still afraid, and that I am still vile. I will say that I have not achieved any significant thing. I will say that I am still delusional, and I will question my autonomy. I will still pretend that I do not care what my parents think of me. I will still feel lonely; I will still wish to feel the weight of a man's hand on my own. I will still doubt. I will still think I am ugly. I will still treat myself horribly. I will still not understand my own thoughts. When I turn twenty, I will still feel inadequate. I will say that I have accomplished very little. A quarter of my life will be complete, and I will be dissatisfied.
4.03.24
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me after my father yells at me
How tf am I feeling nothing and everything at the same time
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the life I know just isn't enough
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