morning-day-yew
MorningDayYew
They/Them
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Today’s emotion is: an overwhelming urge to draw stuff… right before the body goes to sleep.
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Today’s emotion is: a calming rest, until D&D starts
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#cw vent#personal vent#broken#shattered#feeling broken#feeling lost#cast adrift in life#not able to embrace death#a fake person#who only exists#from the scattered pieces#that they gather#and covet
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Today’s emotion is: picking up the pieces
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Where’s the option to curl up and die? It would be better than living with constant pain.
Joints, chest, back, head, almost everywhere. And I can’t bring it up to anyone because when I’ve tried I get the same response. “You’re young. You’ll live.”
Of course I’ll live, but just because I’m not older doesn’t mean I’m not constantly in pain.
Until a few weeks ago I had no idea him many migraines I got a day. Some weren’t bad, but others would almost shut me down.
Please, I need a break from all the pain.
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Today’s emotion is: I don’t know… depression or something
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I have no energy.
How is the day not over yet?
I thought that this was behind me!
All of this self hatred. All of the pain. All of the tiredness. But the numbness is gone. And that makes this infinitely worse!
I want to cry but I can’t. I don’t know how anymore.
Each day I get closer to where I was. Where I was preparing to give up every tomorrow I could have. Tossing aside a future that I still can’t see.
I’m drowning without any chance to catch my breath. Sinking deeper into suffering with a smile on my face. I’m not sure who I am anymore.
I don’t know if I am alone in this husk. If there is another in here, please help me! I don’t know how much longer I can tread water.
If there isn’t anyone else… I don’t think I can keep it all together. The shaking only stops when I can keep my hands busy. When I can have something to hold me together. But there’s too much. Too much light! Too much noise! Too many expectations. Too many asking for help. Too much blood, and skin, and hair!
When am I allowed to rest…?
#cw vent#personal vent#vent post#vent#falling apart#breaking#breaking down#falling to pieces#i can’t breathe#i can’t do this#i can’t keep doing this#what’s the point#what’s the point in living#why am i like this#why does this keep happening#why am i alive#please#i need help#physically tired#physically shaking#it doesn’t stop#I can’t make it stop
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Today’s emotion is: rock
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Today’s emotion addendum: no longer wanting to maim/kill your boss for hypothetical situations.
Also, unga bunga Elden Ring fun.
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Today’s emotion is: the crumbling decay of sanity
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Today’s emotion is: Gook
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It took me a second to realize that the Amity being referred to is not Amity from The Owl House.
#amity blight#the owl house#lol#my brain is soup rn#like I’ll read a name from the dust-cover filling cabinets in my brain#and pull some random character out of it#or just go full ranting tangent#no matter what started it the Roomba of thought always ends up under the couch#then you have to rescue the little guy#‘cause the little dude is stuck#what am i even talking about
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I also am hyper fixating so much on just this image and I want to share the excitement I get from it with whoever is willing
My brain is dead and this is pretty much all I can process right now:
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My brain is dead and this is pretty much all I can process right now:
#brain dead#arson#plant jackalope#jackalope#I’m only functioning because of the PJO and HOO books#meme
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Today’s emotion is: chocolate
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Today’s emotion is: a vent.
“Constant pain, living with it and never realizing it. How suddenly you can make sense of everything that didn’t quite make sense. At least most of it. How come everything feels so much worse? How is it that there’s melancholy from the absence of that pain. Is this what it means to be so broken that by putting yourself back together means that you’ll never get back all the pieces…”
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Today’s emotion is: Dragons… just dragons
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