Stay for this.

So no matter how hot the kitchen gets. How many times I lose my temper. How uncontrollable my desire gets to leave all of it and go. I will stay.

I will stay even if I don't see myself doing anything in the next two years. I will stay even when I know my friends will be climbing the tops when I will be just hovering around the base. I will stay through it all and I promise I will not blame it on anyone.

I will stay cause I will get to see you.

So am not gonna hang myself,nor gonna feel the veins and go for a cut. No, am not gonna overdose either. I did think of jumping from the 4th floor but then what if I survive with a broken leg. The life after that wouldn't be fair. So no, am not gonna end it. But if an earthquake hits my place and the door is ajar and I have the escape option, am not gonna take it. I will be where I was and let the disaster take me with it. At once, yet slowly. Breath by breath.

The first month of the year marks the beginning of hopeful wonderings. The time to relinquish past sorrows and journey to a happy future. Not to forget, the only time of the year where pending resolutions are strictly followed and then unsubscribed at the end of the very month.

But we often forget about the three striking festivals that are celebrated at this very time of the year. Here is a gist of information to enlighten our knowledge regarding these festivals.

-Chunipa Losar aka Traditional Day of offering is celebrated to mark the sovereignty and solidarity of Bhutan. Some say that on this day, officials across the country gathered at Punakha Dzong to show their gratitude to Zhabdrung for unifying the country.

-Lohri is celebrated in India which commemorates the passing of winter solstice. For people like me who are(were) into Sas Bahu serials - a question of why the dance around a fire is obvious. It is believed that the flames of the bonfire lit on the day of Lohri carries the prayers to the sun god who in exchange blesses the land and ends the days of gloom and cold.

-Makara Sankranthi is a harvest festival celebrated by Hindus a day after Lohri. It marks the first day of the sun's transit to Makar Rashi (Capricorn) so hence the name of the festival-Makara. Here is the reason why the compelling pressure from our family to eat Tarual (Yam) on this day: it was believed that eating yam gave us the energy to survive through the long and cold wintery nights (Not sure if it's the only reason; just doesn't justify the enormity of compulsion put to make us eat Tarual).

Hope this was useful. A very Happy and Blessed month to you all.

Ever felt like you have been in that dream before. The familiarity of the illusion with just some modifications. It's called Déjà reve

Things that make me happy

1. The smell of the kher you make. It turns the hungry Caterpillars inside my stomach to fat butterflies.

2. The warm hugs you give in summer afternoons.You keep the temperature just right.

3. The chicken curry on the nights when I come home after months (or even after 2 weeks).

4. The shared kisses on video calls and the filters I use.

5. You feeding me on afternoons and at dinner or at any time I find you free ( In my twenties and I am not embarrassed ).

6. All of YOU.

Here is a bundle of memories that I have cherished with you over the years. Thanks for always being there. Thanks for the "mardinchu" and "'abo khais" and also the "aija dinner khau" after the fight... Though childish and insane memories, but memories nonetheless and it's always the best when they are created with you. 24 years of tolerance and 24 years of love, insanity and joy.

Advice to the person dating my ex.

He doesn’t like walks but he will take you to long drives, name the place and I am sure he will fill his car tank to take you there. If he is guilty of something he did to you then he will do his best to make it up to you. He isn’t that adventurous but he will follow the trails of your veins and find you amazing rhythms of swirling emotions and beautiful warmth. He isn’t that open but once he feels close to you, he will disclose the secrets, pure innocent deeds, but the first think he will talk about is his account balance and you will not know why but that secret will make you feel awkwardly special.

He isn’t that good a kisser, but he will mean it every time he kisses you. He doesn’t do hand-holdings, hugging and playing with your hair but he will bring you chocolates, stuffed animals and weird souvenirs when he goes places to visit. He does not show it much but when he is hurt, he will stare at something, twitch his eyes and sighs*, know that he needs a hug. There are countless things that are so imperfect about him but conquer them and see that even if he isn’t a beautiful sunset, he is worth the person to wake up with in gloomy dawns.

A troubled soul but such an antique persona. Read his #metamorphosis anecdote.

Just those days when everything is so right and in place. Maybe home was never a place but a warm hug and a heartbeat 😇

Finding something to engage in cause the world outside is just rotating with the same mundane days.