marauderpeter
naturally invisible
peter. fourth marauder. rat, but only sometimes. dork. little lion man with a rabbit heart.
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Like a wake-up call, the cutting curse caused Peter's urge to survive and get out to grow, and after letting out another noise of pain, he decided to run. Alek's words echoed in his mind, repeating like a mantra, as he turned around. Hexes flew through the air, and Peter was in all honesty having a hard time figuring out what his next steps would be, as running itself was hard.
Peter was not entirely sure what was a bigger chaos; his head or this pub. Was him not wanting to hurt Mulciber a good thing? Shouldn't he want to hurt him for what he did to his friend? While Peter's morals had always been questionable — he had, after all, taken part in bullying in Snape — he was now absolutely lost, not knowing what option was the right one. His mind was a raging mess, to put it easily, fuelled by fear and a whole bunch of other negative emotions. Running really did seem like the best option, the most logical one, and so Peter pushed himself to focus on the crowd and getting through it, rather than contemplating if his decision was right.
a snake and a coward ––– alek and peter
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"Typical," he said, a little disappointed by Remus' reply. Impulsively, and fueled by the small amount of alcohol swimming through his veins, he replied, "Yeah, no, I don't know if I want to find someone, you know? Or will. Like I said, I don't get crushes."
"Yeah I know right… If I stop looking for someone then I wouldn’t get off my ass anyway. I’d be reading all day." He laughed. "Crushes are stupid sometimes’ He smiled ‘We’ll find someone eventually.’
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"Yeah, yeah, I get that. And like, don't people say something that you'll find someone when you aren't looking? I don't know." He shrugged. "I'm not looking either. Don't really get it all anyway, crushes and stuff."
Remus let out a laugh. ‘I haven’t, no, but I also doubt there’ll ever be anyone if I go at this rate..’ he shrugged. “I don’t really mind anymore, sure it would be fun to be with someone, but I’m not desperate?”
#PETER SHOULD NOT DRINK ALCHOL FOR TWO REASONS#ONE. HE DANCES#TWO. HE GETS HONEST#c:remus#and he's a lightweight
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Peter shrugged. "I stink at flirting, let's be real. And don't really feel the need, drunk or sober." He took a sip of his drink. "What 'bout you, then? Seen anyone you'd want to flirt with?"
Remus laughed and nodded. ‘That they do, and I doubt it’ll ever change.” He grinned ‘Ah well, we can flirt with who ever we want to flirt with, being drunk or sober.’
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"Nobody is going to trust you anymore." (Because of feels)
“ nobody is going to trust you anymore ”
His mouth dries up, because Remus is right (as always) and while he has known that this was true for quite some time, it hits him hard when Remus says it in his usual tone ( calm, collected, logical ).
He doesn’t answer, doesn’t look at him, doesn’t change his facial expressions, doesn’t do anything. He doesn’t know what to do, after all, the entirety of the situation shutting him up, leaving him silent. Because what could he say? Truly, nothing seemed right. (And he had no one to blame but himself.)
”Then why are you still here?”
Tone cold, eyes now focusing on Remus, all his frustrations ending up in anger against him, his ( former ? ) best friend. Anger, deeply buried and fuelled by grudges and envy and everything he had kept cooped up all those years.
( He didn’t understand. He didn’t get that he had had no choice but to take the mark. That it had been l i f e or DEATH. That Peter wasn’t like him and was incapable of making the right choice because that choice wasn’t right to him. Dying at the age of twenty would never be the right choice, even if it made him a T R A I T O R . Remus didn’t get him, and he should, because it wasn’t that hard to understand. It really wasn’t. )
No. No one is going to trust him any more. Not with a dark tattoo on his forearm, with a loyalty that belongs to no one but himself. There’s no one standing on his side any more, not since the truth came out ( three days ago ). He’s more useless than ever before, and he is going to die. Voldemort doesn’t need a double agent with a revealed identity.
”Tell me, why are you still here? Out of hope? Do you think you can change this? That things will go back to normal again? Why are you still here?” He is almost desperate. “Things won’t change. Things won’t go back to normal and would you just fuck off if all you’re going to do is tell me things I already know?”
And he doesn’t tell Remus that he wants him to stay, that he needs him to tell him that he understands, that his choice was not completely illogical and that he’s glad he’s not dead at the age of twenty. He needs Remus, and it’s making him sick, because he thought he was finally able to fend for himself. That for once, he was relying on no one but himself. (But he’d always been stupid like that.)
"Please don’t leave."
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"They make a fool out of themselves too, though." He said, laughing slightly. "I mean, c'mon, it's James and Sirius. They do indeed do it more gracefully though." He nodded. "Oh yes, we do, we do. And we don't feel the need to flirt with everything that moves, like Sirius when drunk."
Remus laughed and nodded ‘Exactly! We’re the two that make fools of ourselves when that happen, they’re the ones that think they’re all graceful and all.” He grinned. “We just have more common sense, don’t we?” He teased
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" Or are you too coward? "
Yes. Yes, Peter Pettigrew was too cowardice to stand up for himself (or anyone else, for that matter) and he was fully and completely aware of that. That was why he didn't answer (as admitting would be only embarrassing and stupid, and denying pathetic and silly, as it was a fact), remaining silent with jaws squeezed together tightly. He lacked the talent, the guts, the everything one needed to duel someone who not only seemed more experienced, but also sure of his actions — confident (a trait he'd never really understood).
However, he wasn't too much of a coward to run. Or maybe he was coward enough to run, he didn't really know nor did he care. A scream/cry/plead left his lips once again as the curse hit him, instincts kicking in, thoughts not completely sane but logical. Get up, get out, use a shield if necessary and just run. Don't think about what James, Sirius or Remus would do. Don't think about their situations. Don't think, don't think, don't think.
Just survive. And so, fuelled by adrenaline and fear, he attempted to scramble to his feet, fingers wrapped around the wand that pointed at Mulciber ( had he looked the same when he hurt Mary? ) as the uselessness of the situation doomed on him. Turn around, run away, run run run run, you fool, and still there was a moment where he stood still, "Don't hurt me," he said in those seconds, a please lacking, but voice still filled with fear and desperation.
a snake and a coward ––– alek and peter
#ugh idek im tired and peter muse is like gone??? but yes have this#also idk the format changed over the weeks i spent not writing#p:alek#a snake and a coward
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ABOUT THE MUSE.
General
Name: peter adam pettigrew
Alias(es): wormtail, worms, wormy, pete, petty pete, pettigrew, peter parker
Gender: male
Age: sixteen
Date of Birth: january 2, 1960
Place of Birth: at the hospital
Hometown: lewes
Spoken languages: english
Romantic preference: demi/pan
Sexual preference: asexual
Occupation: student
Criminal record: FUTURE MURDERER. #yolo
Disorders: none (yet)
Appearance
Eye color: brown
Hair color: dark blonde
Height: 5’4.
Scars: no major ones.
Burns: none
Over weight: slightly
Under weight: no
Favourite…
Color: red or orange.
Hair color: brown or black
Eye color: blue
Song: another brick in the wall
Movie: the holy grail
T.V. Show: monthy python's flying circus
Food: cheese or cake (all kinds)
Drink: spiked pumpkin juice
Video Game:
Ice cream flavor: peanut butter.
Have you…
Graduated high school: no
Had sex: no
Had sex in public: no
Gotten pregnant: no
Kissed a boy: no
Kissed a girl: no
Gotten tattoos: no
Gotten piercings: no
Smoked/drank/done drugs: yes, yes, & yes
Had a broken heart: no
Been in love: no
Needed surgery: no
Stayed up for more than 24 hours: yes
Are you…
A virgin: yes
A cuddler: depends on the person but yes
A kisser: no.
Scared easily: v much.
Jealous easily: in some ways
Trustworthy: yes
Dominant: no
Submissive: yes
In love: no
Single: yes
In a relationship: no
Considered mean: no
Random questions.
Have you harmed yourself: no
Thought of suicide: no
Attempted suicide: no
Wanted to kill someone: yes
Drove a car: no
Have/had a job: no
Have any fears: yes
Family
Sibling(s): none
Parents: sarah pettigrew ( father: unknown )
Children: none
Pets: none
— fill out with muse information —
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Peter grabbed a beer, nodding. "Just on the edge of drunk. So we can still remember things, or something." He laughed a little. "There's no way I'm drinking as much as them with this many people around."
"That’s true… So we must at least get a little drunk then?" he grinned and made himself a drink. "I mean we don’t have to get as drunk as they do, but at least a little bit then?"
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sirius wasn’t afraid to die because he was broken and hated himself
remus wasn’t afraid to die because he thought he was a monster and the world would be better off without him
james was afraid to die because he wanted to be there to keep his family safe
peter was afraid to die because he had yet to live outside of someone else’s shadow
they all gave up their life for harry’s
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"Oh, come on. We both know James and Sirius will be drinking too much too, and they're insufferable drunks when you yourself are sober." But he shrugged, willing to go along with that Remus wanted. "That sounds like an ever better idea, though!"
Remus laughed ‘I don’t know about the getting shitfaced part, but I can accompany you halfway there?” He grinned and nodded. “Let’s just go raid the food and drinks table, I’m up for both!” He nodded in agreement, “We could always dance” He burst out laughing.
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Peter relaxed visibly, rather glad that he was able to have some fun, contrary to feeling uncomfortable in a crowd of well-dressed people. Lily was simply easy to be around, truly living up to her reputation of being one of the friendliest witches in their year. "Mm, let's see," he said, staring at the couple in silence, finger tapping against his lip as if thinking deeply. "Her breasts must have been charmed, because that man seems to be completely interested in them. Like, maybe that's what she does, charming her greatest assets to find someone."
"It’s a rough business, that’s for sure," Lily agreed with a hearty laugh. This was why she liked Peter, well, at least when he wasn’t with James. Around James he was a bit a bit less… himself. "Oh, what about that couple there?" she asked, gesturing towards a man and woman near the bar; the woman was clearly envoloped in the conversation while the man was rather more interested in her.
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Peter was unable to stop himself from laughing, corners of his lips first curling up before the sound bubbled from his lips. "Probably, yeah." He said through heavy chuckles. "The other guy is probably his dealer or something, and he's trying to reassure the other that this will fade, don't you think? Poor fellow. Suppose that's what you get when you deal Puffskeins."
Lily nodded with a wide smile and looking towards where Peter pointed; the man was clearly pretty far gone, and his movements were very animated. “Hmm..” Lily began, trying to think of a back story, “Maybe… he’s really passionate about Puffskeins. And he’s got like 48 of them, but he’s complaining about how many of his things have gone missing because the little fluff balls have eaten them,” she offered, knowing full well it was ridiculous.
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Peter wasn't able to say he had expected this. A yelp spilled from his lips before he could stop himself, a hint of anger flushing through him. But he felt mostly embarrassment, because there was a hint of fear flowing through him and because he knew he would not be able to respond like James or Sirius would have. No, Peter would not be able to turn around and send a hex, worse, even, back, because he knew his duelling talents were far below average and Snape was quite the fan of the Dark Arts - or at least, that was what everyone claimed. So he didn't turn around, didn't throw another petty insult at Snape even though he wanted to, because once again, Peter was looking out for himself, rather than acting on his feelings.
The insult sounded all too pitiful coming from Peter’s mouth compared to the mouths of his friends. He never had successfully held as much weight as the others, and perhaps Severus ought have taken it as a bonus that the other boy was turning away from him, but then, he had never been able to back down quietly. Wrinkling his nose in utter distaste, his hand wound around his wand silently, and he shot a stinging curs toward Peter’s back, sipping the butterbeer in his hand as soon as he saw that it had hit. It was a quiet challenge, if he so decided to take it, and a bit of injury in response to insult if he didn’t return it. It would mean Severus had won.
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