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Maisha
"How do you make your pain seem so poetic that they don't realize you're in pain?"
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another love letter to my friends
If you were to go before me, I would linger at your burial site and make it my home. I would allow the roots of the flowers I have planted to embrace my physical body so I can be a part of your final resting place. I would give my body and mind in hopes that our souls will meet again.
Maisha
#creativewriting#poetry#growing up#diary entry#spoken poem#archives#friendship#beautiful words#short story#excerpts
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Ghosts of Me
I like to pretend that I do not exist.
The girl I see in the mirror
Is merely a figment of someone else's imagination.
I am nothing.
Just some badly written character
By an eight year old who didn't know better.
I am not a thought in anyone else's head.
Most days I go by unseen.
And that could be sad
Except it isn't
Because there is nothing I would hate more
Than being perceived.
I like to pretend that I do not exist.
Like I鈥檓 a character sketch thrown out,
Left unfinished,
Crumpled and shoved into the corner of a desk.
I am fading out of reality
And I know, I will not be missed.
~Maisha
#creativewriting#poetry#growing up#diary entry#spoken poem#archives#friendship#beautiful words#short story#excerpts#the act of being forgotten#forgetfulness#ghosts
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I find it strange how my mother has been and will be a parent longer than she hasn't been. How could she possibly go about her days when there will come a time when she will no longer be a parent? Not because her children will be gone, but because she herself will be no more. How can she cope to imagine a world where her children will have to live without her when cruelly they have known her their entire lives?
~things I wrote at my job I hate instead of doing my job: part 13
#creativewriting#poetry#growing up#diary entry#spoken poem#archives#friendship#beautiful words#short story#excerpts#mothers and daughters#ode to a mother#ode to my mother#motherhood#mother#daughterhood#daughters#death#orphans
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The first time I heard about the concept of butterfly kisses is from a song bearing the same name. It's a song from the perspective of a father watching as his daughter grows from his precious little girl into a flourishing woman. It talks about the joys and heartbreak from no longer having his most precious thing within arms reach. "From butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer, placing little white flowers all up in her hair. Walk me down the aisle daddy, it's my first time. Does my wedding gown look pretty daddy, daddy don't cry". A father and daughter who have bonded from the moment she was born to the moment she left. This has been my favourite song for as long as I can remember, and maybe it has to do with a longing for a father that I cannot remember.
~things I wrote at my job I hate instead of doing my job: part 12
#creativewriting#growing up#diary entry#spoken poem#archives#poetry#friendship#beautiful words#short story#excerpts#fathers and daughter#daughterhood#fathers#neglect#abandoned#abandonment
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I am not a jealous person. I make it my business to never envy others but my friend just achieved her dream. She was able to grasp it within her fingers and I am typing this sitting at a desk I hate, in a building I hate, doing a job I hate because it is not yet time for me to be achieving my dreams. And everyone keeps talking about how everyone has different timelines in achieving their passions but most days I feel as if my passions do not matter in the grand scheme of things.
~things I wrote at my job I hate instead of doing my job: part 11
#creativewriting#poetry#growing up#diary entry#spoken poem#archives#friendship#beautiful words#short story#excerpts#sorry for being depressing#sorry for the rant#sorry for being like this#on being left behind
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Right person wrong time is the thing of fantasy and fairytales. In the real world we are never forgiven for leaving even if you had their best interest in mind. You are never forgiven for breaking a heart that you cherished more than life. And all of your friends will feed you false hope that the two of you may exist again one day because you were perfect for each other, but that couldn't be further from the truth. For us there was no right person wrong time; it was wrong person all around.
~things I wrote at my job I hate instead of doing my job: part 10
#creativewriting#poetry#growing up#diary entry#spoken poem#archives#friendship#beautiful words#short story#excerpts#first love#falling out of love#falling in love#right person wrong time#wrong person wrong time
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I think it is a funny situation that we find ourselves in when it comes to first loves. I think it's a funny situation we find ourselves in when it comes to falling in love. I think it's a funny situation we find ourselves in when we will do anything it takes for them to look at us for even a second, like they love us once again. I think it is a funny situation we find ourselves in when we realize it will never again be.
~things I wrote at my job I hate instead of doing my job: part 9
#creativewriting#poetry#growing up#diary entry#spoken poem#archives#friendship#beautiful words#short story#excerpts
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I asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up and he responded to me that he has already grown up. All I could do at that moment is smile and let out a soft laugh like he had told some joke only I understood. Because for some reason I could not find the words to explain to him that he has not grown up. I could not tell him that he may be 20 but soon he will be 21 and that is more grown up than he is now. I could not for the life of me figure out how to explain that we will be growing up even when we are long past our prime, He seemed so set in his concept of growing up that I did not have the heart to tell him that he has only barely grown up; he barely knows anything. How foolish of one to think they know so much when they are just barely out of teenagerhood.
~things I wrote at my job I hate instead of doing my job: part 8
#creativewriting#poetry#growing up#diary entry#spoken poem#friendship#beautiful words#archives#short story#excerpts
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I think daughters are destined to resent their mothers in some way
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I will not attend the funerals of people I no longer know. I had this dream about a girl, or well a woman now, I guess. In my dream she had died and I did not shed a tear. This was quite strange as once upon a time she was my closest confidante and my favourite person on the planet. I woke up and it fell to the back of my mind because it was unimportant in my day to day life. Yet I could not help but feel a bit perturbed that I would not mourn a girl I no longer know.
~things I wrote at my job I hate instead of doing my job: part 7 b
#creativewriting#poetry#growing up#diary entry#spoken poem#archives#beautiful words#short story#excerpts#friendship#death#dying#funeral
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I will not attend the funerals of people I no longer know. I will not linger by the cemeteries as they lower their bodies into the dirt. I will not offer their mothers my deepest condolences because that has not been my place. I will not place flowers on their freshly dug graves because flowers are too expensive to spend on people I don't know. But maybe once they have been laid to rest I will gaze at a picture of years gone by and wonder when I decided their funerals were not meant for me. Because we were meant to exist together for life and now their life is gone but I will not mourn at the funerals of people I no longer know. We may have been girls together once, but those little girls have long since ceased to exist.
~things I wrote at my job I hate instead of doing my job: part 7 a
#creativewriting#poetry#growing up#diary entry#spoken poem#archives#beautiful words#short story#excerpts#friendship#death#dying#funeral
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I believe that in order for a person to succeed they must walk many paths before coming upon their true passion. It's like a videogame character doing multiple side quests. This feels like a side quest. Not something I'm meant to do forever but for the little while I'm allowed it. And the thing with side quests is that you want to learn as much as you possibly can from it, so you'll work hard and strive for excellence always. When I grow up I'm going to be a clinical psychologist. When I grow up I'm going to be a psychiatrist. When I grow up I'm going to open a caf茅. When I grow up I'm going to be a writer. But I haven't grown up yet. So for now I'll stick with this. I'll climb the ladder because sitting still has never been something I have been able to do. Always on the move, always searching for new ways to be entertained and learn new things.
~things I wrote at my job I hate instead of doing my job: part 6
#creativewriting#poetry#growing up#diary entry#spoken poem#archives#beautiful words#short story#excerpts#friendship
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She always acted as if she was so cultured. As if she was so much better than us because she ate steaks medium rare when we were 15. She acted as if she was God's gift to us because she sang like a bird and moved like she was one with the wind. She was so special. The most special person to walk this earth in centuries; I'm sure her mother told her so. I thought she was confident in a disgusting way. She was so much smarter than us because she got awards and recognition. And this may come across as jealousy but I was always more proud than anything. Not so much anymore. It's like once you are removed from a situation you can see things so much clearer. She was the worst. She acted as if we were the earth. Cold, and compact made for her feet to trod on. She acted as if we were loyal followers when really I wouldn't have followed her anywhere. But honestly, most days I did gaze upon her with awe. Once upon a time she was something to behold. Nowadays I'd walk past her without a second look.
~things I wrote at my job I hate instead of doing my job: part 5
#creativewriting#poetry#growing up#diary entry#spoken poem#archives#beautiful words#short story#excerpts#friendship#breakup#friendship breakup
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And I need to know my dear, if you could stop existing for just one moment, would you? Would you disappear like you never existed? Would you finally become that ghost you have desperately wanted to be? Do you think anyone would mourn you? Probably not. It would be for just a moment. Barely a full blink really. No one would realize you were gone, not because you wouldn't be missed, but because you wouldn't be gone long enough to be missed. But I need to know my dear, if you could take one deep breath and hold it forever, would you?
~things I wrote at my job I hate instead of doing my job: part 4
#creativewriting#growing up#poetry#diary entry#spoken poem#archives#beautiful words#short story#excerpts#friendship#excerpt from a story i'll never write#love letters
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I am my mother's hopeless daughter. Her biggest pride and joy. The one she'd give her life for. The one she'd love above all. I am my mother's disappointment; everything she could have been but never was. Her wishes and dreams for the future that all got left in the dust.
~things I wrote at my job I hate instead of doing my job: part 3
#creativewriting#poetry#growing up#diary entry#spoken poem#archives#beautiful words#short story#excerpts#friendship#mothers and daughters#ode to a mother#ode to my mother
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