m3ntal-chilln3ss
sick in the head
mentally sick physically thick 😎
11 posts
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just one more fic...as a treat.
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Am I going to have to live the rest of my life by lying my way out?
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I don't want to stop lying, actually. is that anti recovery? fuck dude, I don't know. it's not like I lie to hurt anyone, making shit up is just what I do and it's way more comfortable than the truth. being a liar is the only consistent thing about me, and mostly I'm okay with that. it makes it damn near impossible to get close to anyone though, because under all the lies there's no real person for them to find. I don't know what the truth is anymore, and I'm afraid if I stop lying I won't have anything else to say.
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had a dream last night i went back to the psych ward and im hoping that dream doesn’t become a reality
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Mourning the person I was before I lost track of my identity. Mourning all the years that have passed that I can’t remember. Mourning all the people who I’ve pushed away because I was too scared to message.
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i hate it when you think you can take the bandages off but then it’s like nope! not yet!
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EXTREMELY torn between "pay attention to me pay attention to me pay attention to me" and "do not perceive me EVER"
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“It’s okay to not be okay”
Unless it impacts your work performance…
Or your grades
Or how you act
Or if it causes you to say no
Or if you’re harder to be around
Or if you need time alone
Or if you talk about it
Or show symptoms
“It’s okay to not be okay”
Unless you have trauma
Unless you have one of those “scary” mental illnesses
Unless it inconveniences me
Unless you’re undiagnosed
Unless you cry or scream or make a scene
Unless you don’t keep that shit to yourself
Unless you make me uncomfortable
Unless I can’t infantilize or fetishize you
Unless you have hallucinations
Unless you have psychosis
Unless you get angry
Unless I think you’re cringe
Unless you can’t preform hygiene tasks
Unless you’re disabled, or trans, or gay, or not white, or fat, or AFAB, or intersex, or a man… so I guess anyone
“It’s okay to not be okay”
As long as nobody ever finds out.
Our society has a severe issue with performative activism, and mental health is a huge example of this. Every time someone considers reaching out, they run through this list mentally. This is why true activists and resources need to be loudly supportive of all the things on this list. Take the subtext out of your support.
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Not many people talk about how deep emotional neglect hurts you.
I’m afraid to want things. I’m afraid to ask for help. I’m afraid to tell someone something if they seem in a bad mood. I can’t process when someone is nice to me. I can’t handle rejection, but my brain literally short circuits if someone gives me a compliment to the point where sometimes the rejection is better.
There are lots of overlap with emotional abuse, but emotional neglect hurts just as much. And it’s even worse that it usually goes undetected, so a lot of people can’t tell they’re being neglected until it’s too late.
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intro post or something??
hey! you can call me Red. i have multiple mental illnesses and it’s definitely so so fun.
i made this blog as a place to vent my frustrations and be mentally ill, and maybe make some friends.
the mental illnesses i have (officially diagnosed) are as follows:
ADHD
Bipolar 2 disorder
Social pragmatic communication disorder
Avoidant personality disorder (with BPD traits)
please be respectful on this blog and don’t be mean i’m sensitive. have a nice day!
also, you can find the posts i write under #red posts.
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