Life has lost its grace, it is not possible that this is the destiny to which I was in uniform. I feel in a lethargic state that life passes me by, without direction, reason or expectation. Days go by without me noticing them or keeping them in my memory. What was extraordinary (at least for me) that I did last Wednesday? Three days ago and already lost in the monotony of so many other days. I keep hearing that life is a mountain, but it doesn’t matter what’s on the other side, what matters is climbing. But honestly, wouldn't it be much more exciting if life were the sea? Navigate through it, weather storms and reach different safe havens during the trip? I don't know, the impression I have is that life is a small, tight box, with a small square cut out in front of you, so you can see other people acting and pretending they aren't inside small, tight boxes too. Acting, something we do without realizing it, but, unlike the great TV stars, we are not great characters, we are simply NPCs in the great video game called planet earth. We are helpers of the villains, we destroy our home, our happiness, our peace and even ourselves. Or maybe it's just me. Alone in a single box. Perhaps all of you are happy and know why you do what you do. Maybe the problem is me and my thinking too much.

When you are in a dark place in your own head, music, art and poetry are more than beauty, you understand what the artist possibly felt the moment he did it.

“My limbs are lightning, sculpted winds / My bones do not taste of crown and silver / I am not a thing to be owned / My blood is the sky’s migration, / my eyes are birds”

— Adonis, from Selected Poems; “This Is My Name” (tr. Khaled Mattawa)

It's crazy how sometimes all the air in your lungs is simply thrown out for no reason, and you fell like you're sinking, not knowing where it is above and where it is below. You are simply completely lost and alone.