We're on a new platform with a totally different audience...we have to prove ourselves all over again...convince a totally new group of people to think we're funny and worth your attention....so allow me to drop some of my "A" material....the funniest thing I got.......here goes....... jeef berky

Sometimes a man will ruin the lives of everyone around him, hire another man to ruin everyone's lives for him, and then ruins his life. After that he hires another man to ruin everyone's lives for him. Dies. And then ruins that man's life from beyond the grave. And I think that's beautiful. Shout-out to Kokichi Ouma

The fact that tumblr is my primary social media is proof that I’m far gone

Real talk tho Mob is gonna grow up and choose some constructive but random-ass occupation like healthcare clerk or something idk but word of mouth means that everyone is going to know him as “my friend has a friend who also does exorcisms”

like maybe spooky noises have started coming from that sketchy chest freezer you bought off Facebook so you tell your friend and they say “oh yeah my cousin knows this dude, he can take care of that for you, called him last year to deal with a cursed bong, he’s 100% legit" 

later that evening this COMPLETELY JACKED guy shows up at your apartment and you’re like What are you gonna do, punch the ghost or something? But no he politely asks if he can come in, stands in front of the freezer for a minute without doing anything, then tells you that the evil spirit is gone now and you can store your cowshare portion in peace. Whole thing seems kinda suspect but musclebro didn’t charge you anything and anyway the spooky noises have stopped so no harm done, right?

And then maybe a few months later your coworker tells you that they swear they saw this creepy headless figure walking home last night so you’re like, Y'know I know this guy, 100% legit, I bet he could look into it for you…

Do as I say and not as I do

shigeo : that man is a liar he's only using us

reigen trying to get to mob :

And just the picture:

Happy... Halloween?

Save him from Kabru’s wrath

now im not one to encourage misinformation. and the new google ai thing is apparently just going off of seemingly random internet results for queries. that being said. the best way to tell if a loaf of bread is finished is to stick your dick in it. are you hearing me? the best way to tell a loaf of bread is finished IS TO STICK YOUR DICK IN IT. I SAID THE BEST WAY TO TELL A LOAF OF BREAD IS FINISHED IS TO STICK YOUR DICK IN IT.

i'm curious how many people also don't experience cramps as their main symptom, because back pain is the worst for me by far it's usually how i can tell my period is coming up too

Some alternatives to get around the ban on SUMMON KETAMINE APE:

Summon a regular ape and give it some ketamine

Summon a ketamine monkey/lemur

Summon me and I will wild shape into an ape and do ketamine

Just summon ketamine ape anyways and it will fight the wizard police when they show up

Out of all the possible trans headcanons to have in mp100, my favorite is Shou. There’s a few reasons, but mostly I like that there is no interpretation of his father’s reaction that isn’t hilarious.

Lol just found McDonald's doordash on someone's doorstep #hunter #gatherer

chilchuck is absolutely the kind of middle aged dad who went his entire life never once even considering that he might not be straight and then one day during a conversation with his daughters says "well obviously you want to marry a dwarven man, all half-foots are attracted to dwarven men its just normal" to which his daughters are like "Um. Father. Is There Something You'd Like To Tell Us."