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lord-montgomery · 4 days

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sizzy slut! analysis, am begging <3

the song -> "slut!"

first of all, the contents of this song in contrast to its title perfectly reflect discrepancy between the confident, somewhat promiscuous, untouchable isabelle our girl presents herself as and the softer, more romantic, and even at times insecure izzy that simon knows her to be.

additionally, "slut" is most often used with an amount of disdain and disgust by people who don't approve of the sexual habits of a woman. as a shadowhunter, any time isabelle pursues a relationship with a downworlder, she no doubt receives looks and comments that express such distaste. we don't know for sure if she was with any mundanes before simon, but there's no doubt she would have received an equal, if not worse, response. a not small reason izzy does pursue these kinds of relationships is because of the shock value, but we see how, in dating simon, it became more than just about choosing him because he was someone her father wouldn't approve of, tho that fact remains the same. it's very much in line with the idea of this love and this relationship being hidden beneath a label given by people who don't understand the half of it.

now, for the lyrics themselves..

Flamingo pink, Sunrise Boulevard Clink, clink, being this young is art

these lines are giving so much personality in the casually unapologetic way that isabelle goes about life. and the "clink, clink" line, especially given its position at the beginning of the song, makes me think of magnus's party in cob. just vibes all around. dancing and probably kissing and accidentally being turned into an actual rat? art.

Aquamarine, moonlit swimmin' pool

the first line here uses two words that call to other sizzy-coded taylor songs. "moonlit" -> glitch's "blood moonlit" and "swimming pool" -> paper rings' "icy outdoor pool." there's this idea here of jumping in no matter the consequences, of seeking each other out in the night, which they do on multiple occasions. and of course, there's simon's nocturnal nature as a vampire. when you think of swimming, too, there's this idea of weightlessness, that's tied by the time or season to privacy as well. i've always seen simon and isabelle as being these very buoying sources in each other's lives. and maybe that's just relationships in general, but we see this recurring theme of them being the only ones who can talk to the other in hard moments. it's in cog after max dies, and in lbotw much later on. this, of course, ties into the next line.

What if all I need is you?

there are so many ways this question can be asked. introspective, accusatory, pleading, fearful.. it makes me think of the thoughts that must have been going through izzy's mind before she showed up at simon and jordan's apartment in cols, of the conversations simon has with himself when he's trying to figure out if he loves her (both in tmi and tfsa). with the push-and-pull nature of their relationship, with izzy's fears and simon's inexperience.. there's no way this question, or similar ones, didn't often filter through their heads.

Got love-struck, went straight to my head

if we take this to indicate a level of overconfidence, it fits well with simon in cofa, thinking he could continuously date two girls in the same friend group. it could also be something like the dizziness of a headrush, or like the high after drinking someone's blood, or having your own blood drunk? especially if you're attracted to that someone.. which of course calls straight to cols. there's also the idea of love going to someone's head in a spiraling about said love feelings way and/or taking them to Rational Jail, where they will be dissected. the way izzy does this push-and-pull with simon throughout the series is really an outward representation of what's going on in her head, as she starts to have these feelings and then tries to find someway around that weakness by sending them to her head rather than being confident with her heart.

Got lovesick all over my bed

again we have this image of izzy coming to terms with her feels for simon. i imagine her laying in bed wishing he was there and wanting to throw up because who is she?? and the first time she does reach out for him and tell him to come to her while she's in bed, she's drunk, which can, of course, lead to sickness (honestly i wouldn't be surprised if she actually did throw up some time between leaving simon's apartment and him arriving at magnus's, considering how much she'd drunk and how quickly)

Love to think you’ll never forget Handprints in wet cement

there's something so new and fresh and tentative about the metaphorical handprints being in wet cement, rather than cement that has already dried to form their shape. there's the possibility that someone will come and screw it up, that they won't be able to hold onto this time together. izzy herself is unforgettable; she's a force of nature. simon, on the other hand, may very well believe himself to be so, and i bet izzy wanted him to be forgettable after she found out about him and maia. but he wasn't. even so, as they press their palms into the wet cement, they know there's a waiting period, this "are we permanent?" question that perpetuates.

Adorned with smoke on my clothes Lovelorn and nobody knows

i imagine this as isabelle attending simon's shows, watching from the shadows, the smoke from other people's cigarettes getting on her, and she's just looking at him, a total goner. but no one there is gonna notice--she's too good at hiding her more vulnerable side for that. this could work in the cofa era, but also post-edom, when she may have gone to his concerts just to see him.

Love thorns all over this rose I'll pay the price, you won't

calling back what i said about the title, this could be referencing the idea that izzy is gonna be the one looked at negatively for dating simon, rather than the other way around, though simon does receive plenty of teasing for having so much love for his shadowhunters. i think more likely is the internal struggle i've mentioned before. there are love thorns that have grown around isabelle's rose.. because of her history with love, because of her parents.. and i think to a certain extent, she feels it would be a bigger price for her to pursue simon than the other way around. it hurts to hold her heart out to him in a way simon himself is unfamiliar with.

But if I’m all dressed up They might as well be lookin' at us

this line is so isabelle. just, like, the essence of her. she's always dressed up, and she has no problem with being the center of attention. so of course she'll be confident and proud and let people see her and simon together, even when she's not wholly sure of where her heart lies.

And if they call me a slut You know it might be worth it for once

see my initial rant about the title. i do think there's a little more here too, though, with the "might be worth it." might be worth izzy giving her heart up for realsies. might be worth taking their time.

And if I'm gonna be drunk Might as well be drunk in love

the fact that two very big moments in sizzy's relationship happened while one of them was drunk just makes this line that much sweeter. izzy drinking too much because she's coming to the realization that she really really likes simon, that night ending with them sleeping in the same bed together for the first time, and then simon calling up to isabelle while intoxicated and telling her he loves her for the first time. so it's not just drunk in love, but drunk and in love.

Send the code, he's waitin' there The sticks and stones they throw froze mid-air

as i said before, there's a recurring set up with sizzy where one comes to the other's aid or comfort, where they just know what the other needs. it's this idea of understanding the code the other is sending. beyond that, though, there's also something like a code in the name of simon's band in the epilogue of cohf. i just think of izzy looking down at the flyer, reading "the mortal instruments," then looking up at magnus, and then across the way, where simon is waiting in front of his school.. and the sense of hope and relief and anticipation that would have come over her. and maybe it's more prescriptive, but i do think there's a level of time-stoppage in those moments, of being careful where to step or else everything will come crashing down and she'll be left with the heart-breaking force of the previous six months slamming into her once again.

Everyone wants him, that was my crime The wrong place at the right time

yes, we can relate this to maia wanting simon as well in cofa, but i think it would be remiss not to mention the amount of people who want him for other reasons--raphael, camille, maureen, etc.--a vampire, a daylighter, bearer of the mark of cain.. immortal. asmodeus wanted his immortality. and simon gave it and his memories. i think when considering this a "crime," it would have been, to izzy, a crime against her herself, against her image, an infiltration of the walls she's built up. she put her heart on the line, put her faith in simon, not once, but twice--something she would chide herself for when the smoke cleared after edom

And I break down, then he's pullin' me in In a world of boys, he's a gentleman

it's the way simon can tell when she's breaking down, knows to be there for her when others would have just let her seclude herself or bear whatever weight silently. and he might have been a boy when they started off, but he also has a lot of gentlemanly qualities. he respects izzy. he appreciates her. he thinks she's beautiful in a way that goes deeper than the curves of her body. and izzy has dated enough boys to know the way simon sees her, the way he treats her, is something special.

Got love-struck, went straight to my head (Straight to my head) Got lovesick all over my bed (Over my bed) Love to think you’ll never forget We’ll pay the price, I guess

i know this is mostly a repeated line, but i want to reframe it in the context of simon actually losing his memories. the resignation in "i guess," and the recognition that they're both paying the price. simon has to forget. and izzy has to remember. and this time when izzy is love-struck, it's a headache, a pain that would leave her caught up in memories and what-ifs. and then the sickness comes. for simon, it's the absence of these memories that leaves him spinning. why does he feel the spot where love should be without knowing what it should be filled with?

Half asleep Takin’ your time in the tangerine Neon light, this is luxury

this makes me think a lot of their first time in angels twice descending when they have the whole night to just be with each other. there isn't a war going on, no danger right around the corner. they've fallen together again and they can finally take the time to appreciate that. it's a luxury, because it's something, during those first six months after edom, izzy would have thought was something they would never get to experience together at all. if we wind it back a bit, this also makes me think of the nights in magnus's apartment, when taking their time meant more.. in the grand scheme of their relationship. they were falling back into step still, after the fallout of cofa, and it was a luxury just to spend the night wrapped in each other's arms.

You're not sayin' you're in love with me But you're goin' to

because of the time sizzy did take to get on their feet as a bona fide couple, and because of izzy's realtionship with love, these words hold.. a lot of weight. there's a sense of expectancy here, an understanding from simon that isabelle is in love with him even though she can't quite say it yet. but there's also something cheeky about it, like izzy knows it's only a matter of time before simon says he's in love with her, because how couldn't be be?

Half awake Takin' your chance, it's a big mistake I said, "It might blow up in your pretty face" I'm not sayin', "Do it anyway" (Do it anyway) But you're going to

i can see isabelle having a conversation like this with herself. it's a mistake to keep hanging out with simon because she can feel him sneaking under her defenses. but that's not going to stop her. but there's also "you're a heartbreaker, isabelle lightwood." simon knows he's taking a risk by giving his whole heart to izzy. he's been told multiple times she would walk all over him or that she would break his heart, but again, he doesn't let that stop him. because he does love her. consequences be damned

#queue

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lord-montgomery · 5 days

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i don't think we talk enough about how isabelle reportedly dates/sleeps around and yet the only person we see her have any sort of relationship with other than simon is meliorn at the beginning of the series. meanwhile, simon has a total of three (3) love interests throughout tmi. sure we know izzy said she was going on dates with other people post cog, but we never see it happen, we never hear a name. it's almost as if, after he came into her life, the only one who matters to her is simon, no matter how much she may have tried to fight it.

#queue

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lord-montgomery · 5 days

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any thoughts about sizzy being canonically cat parents 😁😁😁

dude i would love to see sizzy with a black cat specifically. why? great question.. maybe it has something to do with their reputation being so different from their actual demeanor. or maybe something about them being ostracized. or maybe something about their mythical, magical ties .. plus, we don't have a black cat in tsc?? which should be remedied tbh

idk how much longer yossarian will last, but i think it would make sense for simon to leave him with his mom, even though he is technically simon's, just bc he already left him there for two years while he was at the academy, and i think he'd feel bad taking his mom's last companion yk? and i can see him missing having a cat around.

while izzy was fond of church, i don't think she'd view it as such a priority herself, but when simon suggests getting a cat, she's all for it hehe or maybe she even gets one for him as a present <3

also, along the lines of us never having a black cat.. we've also never had a girl cat?? so maybe they get a girl cat, and maybe they name their little princess amidala or something hehe

honestly they'd probably get more than one cat too. idk why but i can just see them adopting another a couple years after they get the first. hashtag parenting practice.

oh and when they do have kids, and simon does his lil kid dnd campaigns with them, he always includes the cats in the adventure somehow.

#sorry it took me a minute to get back to you <3 been a busy couple of days!!#also 'canonically' ?? did i miss/forget them being cat parents?#asks #headcanons #sizzy #simon lewis #isabelle lightwood #tsc #the shadowhunter chronicles

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lord-montgomery · 6 days

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I can only imagine how sizzy will be like as parents any thoughts on that?

so, so many thoughts.

i am so adamant that simon and isabelle would be some of the best parents. the way they both show their love in their actions, and how together they'd have the protective and self-sacrificing nature of parenting down pat.. the way they have experience with kids from years of babysitting their nephews, and for izzy.. from being there as max grew up.. the way they would both harbor just enough trepidation when approaching parenthood that it would make them just that much better at being parents, if that makes sense..

the way i see it, izzy didn't have the best examples for parents. they love(d) her, yes. but they also weren't all that good at being the adults, and their problems always seemed to come before those of their children. she took on the strength of her parents, but i think as much as izzy had to learn that romantic love isn't necessarily a weakness, she'd have to do similarly with parenthood. because god this child in her arms could break down every brick of the fortress she's built around herself. there's just such an innate and all-consuming love there. and it will obviously scare her, but by the time she and simon have kids, she's learned that there is strength in giving your entire heart up, too. she's learned that the barriers her parents may have put around their love are exactly what she doesn't want to pass on, even though it scares her.

meanwhile, simon.. simon knows exactly what it feels like for unconditional love to be tested and come up wanting. and i believe he will fight tooth and nail to never have his kids feel even the slightest bit uncomfortable at home. i do think that simon would have a decent amount of doubt during izzy's first pregnancy and the early months of that child's life, though, due to the early loss of his own dad. on the one hand, you have the lack of a father to refer back to, both in memory and as a means of advice--thankfully, luke exists, and has existed as a father in simon's life for a long, long time. but on the other hand, simon is all too aware of what it feels like to lose a father too soon, and with the heightened mortality rate among shadowhunters... instead of letting that fear of being forced to leave his child(ren) behind control him, though, he decides to just be that much more intentional with the time he is given with them.

this idea of intentionality is absolutely something izzy would present to simon, as it's one of her greatest regrets when thinking back to max's childhood, despite her being a child all that time as well. it was was a resolution that would have a concluded a conversation i think she had with herself years before she and simon even got married, as she considered whether or not she wanted kids at all. i think she would have gone through something of a "what's the point?" phase before that she doesn't want simon to endure after all he himself had gone through.

and so they're intentional. they have family reading time every night they are able to. simon dm's kids dnd games. they eat meals together. they have game nights and movie nights. izzy sings to them when they cry at night, like her mother used to. they host sleepovers with the cousins. izzy lets them try on her heels for fashion shows. they encourage their kids' interests outside of shadowhunting; this one likes to sing and that one's learning to sew. they take them trick-or-treating in the best nerdy constumes. they don't shelter them from the world, but rather show them the lives and the people they'll be protecting one day. i love you's are abundant, as are hugs and kisses and tickles and teasing.

in my mind their household is the perfect mix of cool and warm. cool like adamas and the truth and the spring. and warm like fire and dark eyes and fresh baked cookies. and maybe it smells like cookies too, like whatever secret recipe they finally got right and refuse to stray from bc they just know they'll mess it up.

#queue #headcanons

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lord-montgomery · 7 days

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any sizzy headcanons revolving around simons band?

i have this really bad habit of imagining simon's band either sticking around and simon stepping in for features, or just competely reforming to allow simon to rejoin at some point in the future (even shadowhunters need hobbies right?), and i think it's important to keep that in mind for context. also, when i say EKM, know i'm referring to eric, kirk, and matt <3

during the whole "will they won't they" sizzy era, at least one of the boys definitely begins a "bro if you don't get with her, i will" running joke. i mean.. EKM start teasing simon as soon as he starts mentioning izzy--before she ever shows up to a show or practice, before even he and clary try and fail to have a relationship

i think EKM are fully aware of simon's forever crush on clary and are ready for him to move on, want him to move on and get over his best friend bc they know it would be the best for him. "plus, from what you're telling us about this isabelle chick, she must be smokin" bc dudes will be dudes. and these dudes are the most dudes

yeah there are songs that start popping up about her. if we're talking quantity of lyrics written, eric takes the cake, but the others have written quality lyrics before too, some of which even end up fitting into a rift they've been fiddling with. and the aforementioned jokes and teasing do find their way into lyrics, in the most fun and unserious way ofc

when simon himself first starts writing about isabelle, it's while he's alone in his room pretending to have the flu but actually hiding the fact that he's a vampire. he sits there in the dark, playing around with his guitar just for something to do, and finds his thoughts being drawn back to isabelle. words start coming to his head to match the tune he's strumming, but it takes him an hour after he finishes the song to actually write it down. good material is good material, even if it's embarrassing, even if he can't tell whether the lyrics are actually representative of his feelings..

speaking of embarrassing.. simon never once allows a song written about izzy to be played at a show she attends (nor, for that matter, did he allow them to be played when maia attended a show during his idiot era)

(and if you're wondering.. no, he never wrote a song about maia)

some of the songs that izzy never heard are too specific to make it through the memory wipe, but others find their way onto the set list of shows isabelle attends in secret. she's alone on those nights.. alone in a way that hurts, but also in the sense that she never told anyone where she was going.. not even clary, bc she knew clary wouldn't be able to stand being this close to simon enjoying himself onstage, enjoying his life and his friends without her.. izzy can stand it tho. or, she tells herself she can stand it. but still she's extra grateful for her glamour when the tears begin to escape because they start playing a song she can tell was once about her.. and it feels like so long since she looked at simon and saw herself reflected in his eyes, even metaphorically.

izzy reintroduces herself to EKM after reconnecting with simon as a move toward staking her claim, and they're too scared of her to not talk simon out of going on any dates during that summer before leaving for the academy.

simon stays friends with his bandmates, even after he leaves the band and then leaves the country for the majority of two years. sometimes they'll meet up and goof around with their instruments. sometimes they'll have a video game or dnd night

izzy knows how important it is for simon to keep these people in his life, so she encourages it and even hangs out with the crew more often than not.

and by crew, i do mean crew, as it begins to grow once EKM start finding partners, once their band adopts a new member or two

after simon asks izzy to marry him, EKM insist on throwing a bachelor party for him. simon tells them they plan on eloping so he doesn't have to give a reason why they aren't invited to the (very shadowhunter) wedding, which only gives them more reason to go all out with the bach.

while sizzy is traveling and working on recruitment etc. EKM will occasionally reach out and ask for an extra opinion on some piece of music or another. sometimes izzy will cut in and offer an idea that helps them get through whatever block they were facing, which, really, how could she not have developed a sense for the process after being around it for so long.

sometimes when simon performs with the band, they'll even have izzy come up and sing with them to add another layer

when sizzy kids start appearing and then getting old enough to appreciate music, izzy will bring them along with her to watch simon perform . they'll run up and hug him after the show when he's all sweaty from the spotlights, but he'll lift them up anyway and ask if they liked the show. one of them has a baby crush on matt and hides when he passes by with pieces of his drum set. another says this song or that was stupid or that daddy should have smashed his guitar at the end like a real rockstar. simon just laughs and leans over the little one's head to kiss isabelle.

#queue #headcanons

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lord-montgomery · 8 days

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things about the sizzy proposal that just make sense (read: make me absolutely feral):

the fact that they have only been solidly together for like two (2) years at this point, and yet because of the trials that they went through just to be together, it was enough to prove (i'm looking at izzy here especially) that this love was something worth fighting the rest of their lives for. just let that sink in.. clace and malec have each been together for around 5 years at this point. yeah, sizzy got together in tmi, but they didn't dtr til the end, and then immediately afterward they were pulled apart and slammed back together and spent time disentangling themselves before they finally got together again almost 2.5 years after edom (!!), only for grief to come barreling out of left field. basically, what i'm saying is.. they didn't have the chance to grow and develop over the years the way their friends did. and the fact that simon asked izzy to marry him, and the fact that she said YES, in spite of that??? just shows how solid and true and deserving their love is

they way simon proposed on the brooklyn bridge--the first bridge built to cross the east river between brooklyn and manhattan. i've always seen the two boroughs as very representative of the two different worlds at play in tmi (i.e. simon's mundane life and izzy's shadowhunter one), and the beauty of sizzy, is that they are like quintessential examples of the lives each belongs to at the beginning of the series. and as they get to know each other and grow together and begin to care more and more about the other's world, it creates this metaphorical bridge that stands as a perfect acknowledgement of two people meeting each other in the middle. AND AND AND the bk bridge was the first bridge between the two. and sizzy was technically the first to get engaged of the three couples in tmi that spanned the east river. AND AND AND when you think of malec being centered in greenpoint and clace on the upper east side it's like.. idk it just feels so right for this question to be asked and answered between the two. (i feel like this point alone could go on forever so i will move on)

they were literally fighting demons when simon impulsively asks her to marry him. like 'fuck it there's no one else for me i need you in my life forever and there's no use waiting to see what could happen between now and the future because the future isn't guaranteed and clearly we could die at any moment i mean how many times have we been surrounded by demons and shadowhunter lives are so short and you are everything to me. please marry me. please stay with me for as long as we have.' [insert op fainting]. and it just shows that what izzy values and finds important, the purpose of her life, is exactly what simon loves about her. and this has always been clear. everything izzy is. everything she lives and breathes for.. simon wants to breathe that air too just because it means something to isabelle. it's like him telling her her rune and battle scars are beautiful and a part of her he would never change. like he doesn't want anything from her except for her to be isabelle.

#queue

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lord-montgomery · 9 days

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Different anon but I would love to hear all about your sizzy headcanons and theories

i have a lot of thoughts when it comes to simon and music, but with sizzy specifically.. i like to think simon writes silly, ad-libbed songs for isabelle. sometimes, though, he'll surprise her with something with more meaning, a love song just for her. and it's kinda cheesy but that doesn't take away the heart of it

to that end, i think there's probably music playing in their house like 70% of the time, between simon fooling around on his guitar or playing with some new instrument he borrowed from the institute or just the radio. the last one allows for some pretty cute moments that end with them dancing around the kitchen hehe

i do think izzy continues her terrible cooking, but i also think she gets better. simon also has no talent in the kitchen, so they kind of stumble through learning together. i think it's important to isabelle that they have homemade meals (which i went into in this post)

i think it takes a little while for them to start having kids, for a few reasons, but once they do... they're some of the best parents. they listen to them and get on their level a lot. it also helps that they don't have the kind of responsibility that the other lightwoods do, which allows them to spend more time with them, and also frees them up to do most of the babysitting, even before they had kids of their own

as for simon's side of the family.. um well fuck that whole never seeing your mundane family ever again shit. if will and cecily were able to get around that to see their mom for decades, we can do it now. i think izzy and rebecca get along well. like so well that sometimes simon will come home to them hanging out without him, drinking wine and swapping stories or watching movies or playing a card game that was a lewis-family staple for them growing up that they later taught isabelle

actually, i think card/board games are a way they like to spend their down time, as much as movies or video games. i will stand by the hc that izzy's nerdiness was simply dormant until she started spending time with simon and found out about all the wonderful things there are to be a nerd about. though she will often deny it and say she only knows things bc of simon. and anyway, didn't dnd come in handy when they were in edom?? it's all about strategy practice (sureeee)

the games the two of them play don't always get finished tho bc you know, competition leads to taunting leads to flirting leads to kissing leads to...

good. night. kisses. <- i'll leave you with that one hehe

#queue #headcanons

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lord-montgomery · 10 days

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Sizzy headcanons?

after simon lost his memory, izzy got a tattoo. yeah she'd probably had too much to drink that night, but she just missed him. missed simon, felt his absence in a way she never would have thought possible before him. and her options at that point were to push those memories aside, to forget the way he forgot her, or to remember twice as hard for both of them. so she made a memory of theirs permanent, a record on her skin.

the tattoo was a simple two dots just about an inch apart on her neck. a reminder of their connection, of when her blood coursed through his veins, of how perfectly they'd fit together. it was a permanent mark on her skin that wasn't a rune, but in a way it was. because weren't runes marks that made you a better version of yourself? wasn't simon once something like that for her?

among all the runes and scars, these two freckle-sized dots were easy to miss. but that didn't stop her from covering them with make-up after simon came back into their lives again. it was a lot. it was too much. it was embarrassing for izzy, to have been so obviously caught up on some boy--some boy who didn't have a single recollection of her. and she knew it would have been overwhelming for simon too. too much, all at once. so she covered them. again and again.

after simon rejected her during his time at the academy, all she wanted to do was scrub them from her skin. she'd rub at them when she missed him, and she'd glare at them in the mirror when she was getting dressed. but she knew too well how permanent runes worked.

but eventually, impossibly, things worked in their favor again. and simon was on top of her again. and they'd messed around enough that her makeup had smudged and simon touched his calloused fingers softly against her neck and his eyes were filled with curiosity and recognition and awe and regret and love and.. and izzy couldn't take it. she's not a crier. she makes a point of not being so soft and vulnerable to let anything touch her deep enough to spring tears. but it was different with simon. her love for him, and their journey to get back to this point, had worn down so much of that barrier. still she was mad at the few tears as they escaped from her eyes.

simon kissed her neck, where he'd bitten her in another lifetime. he kissed the tear from her cheek. he didn't need to apologize for not being the simon from before, because he knew by now that isabelle loved simon, no matter which experiences had changed him since the last time he'd had a claim over his own memories. but he says i love you, and it's an apology anyway, for not being there, for leaving her. he says i love you, and it's a promise, that he'll never make her regret that tattoo again. he says i love you and it's an i love you. and it's real. because he's back and he's here to stay and this memory she had sewn into her skin is theirs again.

#queue #headcanons

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lord-montgomery · 11 days

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there's something i have a hard time putting words to.. something about isabelle being known as a heartbreaker, only for her to have her own heart stolen by a vampire whose existence requires he drink blood.

..something about how broken hearts bleed out, and isabelle, who had never allowed hers to even crack, let hers be punctured with simon--her blood siphoned out, in more ways than one

..something about izzy's heart and blood being given and appreciated, and how that's so opposite how she herself treated hearts before then, including her own.

..something about simon not having a beating heart for her to break and let bleed, so she had to learn how to soften the walls of her heart and give her own blood

..something about blood and hearts as a metaphor for life and love. and how two hearts can fit into each other's chests like puzzle pieces, the blood thread tying them together through time and memory

#queue

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lord-montgomery · 12 days

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the thing about sizzy is that they weren't supposed to be able to happen. a shadowhunter and a mundane? unlikely to end well unless one of them is willing to give up a piece of themselves. ah but then he turnss into a vampire! still frowned upon, but at least her marks wouldn't have to be stripped if they got that far. and we have a girl whose picture of love has been skewed to the point of not trusting her heart to anyone actually finding herself falling for a guy.. and then he ruins it. she's left feeling cheated and lied to, which was exactly what she had been avoiding by guarding her heart. by that measure, she should never have let him back in, but she can't help her heart. and he regains her trust and they start to slide into place beside one another.. but then his memories are wiped. and that's the end of it. but. but he remembers, or at least he remembers enough. and they might be back to square one but there's also a future ahead of them again. and she has the confidence and bravery to continue to be there for him and pursue him romantically. she gives him her heart to break like she never would have. gives him the power that was always hers.

it's glitch after glitch after glitch. an unfortunate event that brings them closer and a boyish mistake that feels bigger than it should and a heart that won't obey and an end that isn't an end.

#queue

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lord-montgomery · 13 days

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remember when isabelle got drunk and sat in jordan's kitchen rambling about simon and looking like a sad cat with heart eyes that she just wanted to scratch out???

yeah i'm being so normal about this

#queue

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lord-montgomery · 14 days

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Prompt: "What are you doing here?" "I wanted to see if you were okay." Simon and Izzy! :D

(for context, this takes place post tfsa)

"What are you doing here?" Simon's voice was curious, if not a bit concerned, as he slid the strap of his bass from around his neck, keeping his eyes on Isabelle's.

He crossed to where she stood by the garage door before asking, a bit quieter, "Is everything okay?" The rest of the band had already started making themselves busy, tuning or quietly fingering or tapping out variations of whatever rift they were working on.

Izzy nodded, and Simon led her out of the garage he and his friends were practicing in. She tried to swallow the anxiety that had brought her here. "I just wanted to see if you were okay," she said.

Simon didn't look convinced. Even after everything, he still knew her too well. "I thought you were hanging out with Aline today."

"I still am," Isabelle said, brushing off his doubt along with her own. "We're on a lunch break."

"A lunch break."

"Yes, a lunch break. And look, here I am choosing to spend mine with you." She flashed a smile and took a step closer to him.

Simon slid his right hand into her left. "What's up, Iz--really?"

His eyes were steady, willing her to be vulnerable.

Shit.

"I just... wanted to--" Isabelle took a deep breath. She was avoiding Simon's eyes, she knew. And it was dumb, but that lack of trust was exactly what had pulled her here wasn't it? Reassurance, not lack of trust. Reassurance that he was still there. Reassurance that he wasn't hiding things from her. Reassurance that he could still be reachable, accessible. Could still be hers.

God, she sounded so weak.

"Isabelle."

And then arms were circling her waist, smoothing her loose hair against her back. Her own arms wrapped around Simon, holding tight as she buried her face against his neck. He smelled like boy and summer sweat and Eric's garage, but he also smelled like the cologne Izzy had given him. His shirt was soft, well-worn, and the feel of it was so familiar. Even if she hadn't seen him in it, she would have known which one it was--burnt orange with a shadowed outline of the Lars moisture farm and Tattooine's twin suns up above.

Isabelle soaked up the comfort of him for a minute before she found an answer to his question. "I just got paranoid. Sorry I interrupted band practice." She began disentangling herself. "I'll let you get back."

"Isabelle," he repeated. His hand went to her cheek, brushing a tear aside with his thumb. When had she started crying? His fingers were rough from guitar strumming, but his voice was soft as he said, "Hey."

Isabelle met his eyes, which were as soft as his voice.

"I'm here, okay?" he went on. "I'm not going anywhere. And I don't want to."

He'd seen right through her, or course. She started to look away, but before she could step back into confident, fearless Isabelle, Simon leaned in and pressed his lips against her forehead, then to the tip of her nose, her mouth.

"I love you," he said.

Isabelle brought her hands back up, hooking them behind Simon's neck. "I take back my apology for interrupting band practice."

A smile tugged at Simon's mouth. "Are you still going back to hang out with Aline?"

"Hm, no," she said, playing with the collar of Simon's shirt. "I lied."

There was a twinkle in Simon's eyes as he said, "Be right back."

"Where are you going?"

He was already a few strides away from her when he answered. "I'm gonna get the fuck out of band practice."

#jules writes #queue

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