lizsworkstories
Just Work Stories
work stories, shenanigans, and unsafe lab practices
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1/2/20
I have seen more articles than I’m comfortable with postulating that the Tdap isn't super necessary for kids -- not that we need to update it, just that we need to stop using it altogether. Y'all. Pertussis is already a major freaking concern right now. Don't bring back the 20's with Diphtheria too please.
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12/19/19
It's RIDICULOUSLY cold in my office, so I'm walking around bundled in a cheap throw blanket. My jacket also happens to be getting ratty. Boss is like 'lol you look like Cratchit', paused, then followed with "Shit I'm you boss, does that mean I'm Scrooge??!"
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12/13/19
Coworker: You're looking pretty stern there.
Me: I'm in a mood and have opinions.
Coworker: So... the usual?
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12/10/19
I just noticed that my boss, who is definitely here today and has been here every day since she got back from vacation, is listed as "Away" on Skype for "6 days". She was "Offline" while she was on vacation. This means she logged back in after she got back, then immediately set it to permanent "Away", and honestly, that's pure genius. I bet she gets 1000x more work done this way.
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12/2/19
Crystal Violet splash
On my skin, or new tattoo?
Same difference really.
-_-
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11/27/19 (Thanksgiving Eve)
Me: I know I didn't put in any PTO for Friday, but I pass WAY too many malls on my way here to be coming here on Black Friday.
Boss: See you Monday!
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10/31/19
Daaaaamn! Look at this qRT-PCR! Now THIS is sexy! This should be my Sexy Halloween Costume!
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Memories: 10/30/17
Something came up in FB Memories that I apparently forgot to post about!
“Sometimes I'll throw random Old English words around and my coworkers pretty much just tolerate me at this point. I was about to call an office-mate esol/esul/æsul/the-other-50-ways-to-spell-it ("ass"), then I realized it'd just sound like "asshole". So I just called them asshole instead.”
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10/29/19
Got these mints from a vendor today. Took me longer than it should have to realize why folks on campus were looking at me funny when I pulled it out to eat one.
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10/24/19
Overheard at Work:
That's not a "database". That's an Excel spreadsheet.
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9/24/19
Coworker: I found a great Florentine how-to.
Me: I uh... I need more context.
Coworker: Cookies...?
Me: Ah. That's a type of cookie. Cool beans.
Coworker: What else would I mean?
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9/6/19
Boss: *peers at my desk calendar* Did you get carried away catching up and crossing off days?
Me: ???
Boss: *points to today & this weekend, which are already X’d out*
Me: Ah. No. I’m just already done with today and want to start fresh Monday.
...
Me: Btw, I need to work a half day on Monday.
Boss: -_-
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8/16/19
Me: I had trouble putting on pants today.
Coworker: ... Like, you were having a hard time convincing yourself to put them on? Or were you having trouble with the concept of 'pants' as you tried to put them on?
Me: Yes.
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8/14/19
Today’s link brought to you by me being tired of people who can’t just read stuff from decent sources
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8/2/19
*definitely serious voice*
Oh no, my machine isn't working. And no one is here to fix it. Bc it’s 7pm. I guess I have to just leave now. And head home. Darn.
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7/17/19 (again)
Apparently one of my coworkers didn't know I have Lupus and can sense storm systems, rain about to bottom out, etc. I was in the break room and felt a storm bottom out coming on and sighed, "Man it's about to pour." Then headed back to my office. Not 5 minutes later, it bottoms out, and my coworker slowly approaches my room and whispers, ".... How did you know?!"
I think I'll let her think I'm a witch for a little longer before explaining.
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7/17/19
Coworker 1: Don't patronize me. (pronounced pay-tronize)
Coworker 2: Actually, it's 'pā-tronize'.
New Boss Lady, from down the hall: Dude, what the f*ck? Really??
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